Chapter 19 nineteen

1 For the sake of concubine, this is the first time that Zhenguan came to Guanziling on Ershang. I was in the fifth grade of elementary school; there were 47 students in the class, led by the teacher, and everyone had four or five tables of fast meals, and they slept in boys and girls separately. Later, due to the large number of boys, they lived in Daxian Temple, and the girls stayed in Biyun Nunnery; at the age of twelve, you need to understand, but you don’t understand it very well. When you meet boys, regardless of elbows, shoes The tips, skirts, and table corners all have to be blown with your mouth to be regarded as disinfected; however, when you reach the mountain, it is you who carry the water bottle for me and I cut the bamboo stick for you, there is no suspicion between the two.

Zhenguan can no longer imagine: what I looked like when I was twelve years old. Therefore, along the way, when I meet boys, girls and children who go to the mountains to collect firewood, I can't help asking how old they are; Then ask her what she looks like. Among the female relatives in the family, except for grandma, only her eldest sister-in-law has never had her hair permed from the beginning to the end. Everyone may encourage her to go, but she only said: I am used to her wearing a very low bun, tight and slightly curved. It's like a banana; after her uncle came back, even Zhenguan felt that her hairstyle should be changed, the old one was too old, like Erjin's haircut, it could really be a few years younger, but she is still the same Others may really think that she is used to it, but Zhenguan understands that the eldest sister-in-law has always grown this hair to make a mane for grandma; the old man has to use a wig to comb the bun. At least, the eldest sister-in-law can keep it, and she can cut it off anytime she wants to use it with her mother-in-law. Her eldest sister-in-law turned her face, and the familiar little bun covered her face.

like ah!Very similar, especially the one in red; you forgot that you also have that style of red shirt with a collar? When her concubine reminded her, Zhenguan really remembered that there was a red dress with lantern sleeves, ruffles, and three cloth-covered buttons on the chest. It was made by her second aunt on New Year's Eve when she was ten years old. Come out and give her something to wear for the New Year. Why is childhood such a blazing heart?When I was three or five years old to celebrate the New Year, I had to not only wear new clothes, but also pick out two corners of the bamboo tube, and buy a safflower made of grass by myself; Clipped to my head from the first and second day of junior high school until the tenth day of the new year, there is no Chinese New Year atmosphere everywhere, so I have to take off the rowan and put it in the box of my mother or grandma. If it is not seen, it is damaged and fragmented, so she has to take out the money tube and buy a new New Year's hairpin. This is the same as the fragrance of the Dragon Boat Festival. She did not dare to wear it until she was eleven or twelve years old, because boys may I saw it on the road, and the next day I went to school and said, as soon as Zhenguan entered the classroom, they drew a big letter on the blackboard to laugh at people when they were twelve years old. What does it look like?

Last winter in Taipei, Zhenguan went to Longshan Temple a few times. Every time I passed Laosong National School, I saw a boy with a shoulder bag and a water bottle, and I thought of Daxin. He must have been so polite. Little boy Why do you have to think about him before giving up after thinking about it? Get off from the car at Guanziling, and when they got here, the three of them stopped and rested for about twenty minutes; Biyun Temple was vaguely discernible, but her concubine had already fallen behind.Zhen Guan looked back at them, and saw that the two of them were walking towards the curved road, Yin Chan was probably thirsty, so he stood still by the roadside tea bucket.She poured a cup first and held it with Da Jin, and then she poured another cup, and when she brought it to her mouth, she stopped suddenly, and asked Zhen Guan from a distance: Do you want to drink too?

Zhenguan waved his hand, watched them drink tea, and thought back to what happened just now: when they were young, they raised silkworms in Yinchuan, and when it came time to spin silk, all the sisters and brothers would be squeezed and squeezed to see them; She has spun all the silk, made a cocoon, and trapped her own sorrows in it. Now that I think about it, isn't she herself a silly silkworm on a spring mulberry leaf?The earth is not old, love is inevitable, she is afraid that she will never get better in this life, she will never get better!It's not that she is unaware of Daxin's lack of personality: he often has some things he can't make up his mind about, and he has been successful since he was a child, so that he can't fully take care of himself, but he is also stubborn, and he doesn't listen to others. They had been together for a year, and she and him couldn't quarrel; when she knew him, Da Xin came out of Liao Qing'er's catastrophe. Not sure immediately: whether I have thrown myself into the kiln of love and burned again, because he just came out of there charred and black!

Just before he clarified and filtered himself, something happened. His weak side made him make such a choice; in fact, he had never experienced such a thing, and he didn't know how to do it right. However, love There is no reason for this; contrary to Daxin, Zhenguan has been determined and cautious since she was a child, and she deeply understands the light of Daxin's nature. The most important thing is Zhenguan's determination: in this world, the only thing that can really survive is intensive reading; of course she is a person who respects her own spirit. Along the way, she thought in her heart: When you arrive at the temple, let's stay with Dajin!Da Jin also has her spirit that exists in the world; indulgent and self-willed people will think that those who are self-controlled and self-denying are bound and bound, but they don't know that the person involved is really willing, because doing so is oneself.

What about Silver Toad? Of course we have to drive her back; even if a person who doesn't experience emotional calamity and emotional barriers lives here, what can he understand? Zhenguan thought about going up the mountain all the way, and finally arrived at Biyun Temple. After waiting for the two of them, she looked back and suddenly felt that the suffering in the world was all in front of her eyes. Her concubine is Sanshang Biyun Temple; earlier, Yiji came here twice, and all matters related to entering the temple were settled with the temple dialect first.Zhenguan crossed the long sill before entering the mountain gate, and then two little nuns came forward to lead the way, and the three of them bent and turned, and were placed in the meditation room in the west.

That room is a huge bunk bed, similar to the inner room of the grandma at home, the difference is that there is nothing displayed here, it is very obvious that the concubine who passed away and became a monk was led to see the abbot; the two of Zhenguan shrank their feet and sat on the bed , and stretched out his hand to open the window: wow, that's good, Yin Chan, I'm staying here too Yinchan followed her probe to look, and it turned out that this place can be seen very far. There is a stove room on the other side, and a firewood room next to it. A nun is chopping firewood; The one who came here is strange, how can a nun keep her hair?

You see clearly, don't talk nonsense Yin Chan said her own way: If this is the case, E-Mu will not have to shave her hair Just as we were talking, a little nun came in to light mosquito coils, and she said with a smile: This is how it is on the mountain, there are so many mosquitoes Seeing someone, Yin Chan thought of asking her: Master, is there no rule in the temple that you must lose your hair?we saw someone else The little nun said with a smile: "hair loss is up to people's will; those who have been cut off are called masters, and those who are left are called aunts, there is such a difference!"

The two nodded, and asked about the location of the bathroom, then took their clothes and went down the stone steps; there was a huge pool outside the bathroom, and Zhenguan and others followed to fetch a bucket to fill the water; He handed her soap and towels, and pointed to the tiny stone room, which only accommodated one person, and said: This is it; just go in and close the door! There is such a cleansing in life; there are one or twenty small stone rooms in total, and nuns go in and out. Zhenguan sees their hands carrying each other, and then realizes that life is just a bucket of water, and a silver toad also slips in. In the next room, the two of them washed their bodies through a small stone wall, only to hear the water splashing on the ground, and the sound of the water rushing to Zhenguan.

Um This water is a mountain spring! how to say? I took a sip, it was so sweet! After the bath, the two borrowed a small basin of laundry, and then carried the basin back to the room to dry; as soon as they entered the door, they disappeared first. What will happen? Probably Yi took it!Yi has her own cleaning room, where pilgrims live! The two of them were staying there when they heard the bell ringing suddenly, and the nun lighting the mosquito coils came in again: "The patroness, it's time to eat; the dining hall is at the side door behind the Guanyin Hall. Go down the stone steps and you can see Zhen looked at his watch, it was only half past four; after eating so early, he would be hungry again in the middle of the night! Master, where is our eldest sister-in-law? Yi is still at the abbot's place, and all the clothes are taken to her room; after you have eaten the fast, go to the third door at the other end to find Yi, there are two curved stone steps, and you can smell sweet-scented osmanthus on the platform; don't go through the wrong door ! How about you, master? No, the benefactor eats first, and we follow; this is also the rule The dishes are four vegetables and one soup; square table, long bench; Zhen Guan sits next to Yin Chan, the bowl and spoon are all made of coarse clay, but until today, she really appreciates its cleanliness, grandeur and silver toad second When she came back from serving a meal the first time, Zhen Guan asked her: Miss, how many bowls do you want to eat? Three bowls is not much, five bowls is not much, can you keep your voice down?It made people look down on me! After eating, it was just after five o'clock; Yinchan said: "Eat so early, I have to go to bed at eight o'clock, where shall we go?"I don't know if Eminem has returned to the room? The two climbed over the stone steps in front of the Daxiong Palace, took the small path, went up to the Jiamen on the side, and picked up another stone step. Why are there so many stone steps? This place was originally deep in the mountains!It was built by nuns who moved sand and earth, one step at a time, one stone at a time. There was a nun on the platform who was collecting the urn. After looking at it, she knew that it was some pickles; the two asked about the room, and when they came closer, they found that it was locked. What do you say? Just stand at the door! Yinchan turned around and said happily: "I can really smell the fragrant flowers here, it seems that there are also jasmines; hey!"The meditation room where we live is right there, and you can still see that yellow shirt hanging by the window! Zhenguan didn't respond; Yinchan asked her: "What's wrong with you?" Zhen Guan raised his finger to the door and said yes: Look at this couplet! The font is extremely neat, and the script says: Mind bright, nature empty and cold, the lake moon appears Awakening, Precepts, Concentration, Wonderful Harmony The two stood for a while, but still did not see her concubine, Yin Chan had to wait, but Zhen Guan said: "Go back to the room!"Maybe Dajin will come find us! The two of them turned back to this side and realized from a distance that there was no one in the room, because it was pitch black inside; Yinchan couldn't help but said, "Is it A'Mu who lost it, or us?" Probably the matter is not over yet; do you think it is so easy to become a monk and die? Then shall we go there now? Go to the back mountain!There are many big rocks to sit on over there! When the two of them stepped on the small path, the moon had already appeared; Zhen Guan took small steps, raising his head every time, but Yin Chan asked her: "How is it?"Do you really want to leave Eminem here?The people in my family actually want me to persuade Deyi to go back again! Zhenguan said: "The dozen or so mouths in the family can't hold back Iraq, so what should we say?"Besides, everyone is infatuated. Everyone in the family doesn't know that they will pay back their vows. He is also a person who is reluctant to part with Iraq! Yinchan, do you also feel wronged by Dajin? I will not say! In fact, Yin Chan, others may not know the truth, we drink water from the same well as Yi, and still don't understand, Yi is not seeing through, but Yi is infatuated! For thirty years, she has prayed for the survival of her uncle's people. She believes that her husband, who is living in a different place, will be able to return home in times of war and illness. She knows that uncle; now that his people are back, Wish, who will pay it back?Liulizi's concubine had the grace of saving my uncle's life, but the concubine just didn't say clearly: Did you lose her?Or let me go for you! Under the moonlight, the stones were white and clean one by one. The two of them sat side by side and talked, and their hearts suddenly became like a bright mirror, like a copper platform. Yin Chan, what do you think that is? Yinchan took two steps forward and said yes: It's a couplet at the back door of the Daxiong Palace; do you want to hear it? Come on, read it to me! Just as he was talking, the bell rang again suddenly; Zhen Guan suddenly couldn't sit still, and looked forward to himself: Great Temple bell alarm fantasy dream The moonlight in the fairy mountain soaks the mind of Zen 2 More than ten days in the mountains. The couple of Zhenguan went to the back mountain to pick flowers every day; there was an unremitting stream in the mountain. The nuns took the ripe bamboo, opened the joints inside it, sawed it to equal length, and made many round bamboo tubes, and then tied them with lead wire. One pipe is connected, and the water is led back from the source to several large water tanks in the backyard of the temple. They also went to help the nuns to carry water and water the vegetables; in front of and behind the temple, I don’t know how many vegetables are planted; Zhenguan sometimes holds a gourd in his hand, circling and turning in his heart, thinking of such a letter: I planted a bag of kale seeds on October 4th, and finally sprouted yesterday. The small yellowish sprouts looked very thin and delicate; the radish from the neighbor's house was green and strong!For the first two days, it didn’t germinate, and I was so anxious. It turned out that the seeds were not covered with sand and were exposed to the outside. The conditions for life growth are: 1. darkness, 2. water, 3. temperature, and 4. love. It’s too bright, and the little life can’t bear it , I love them so much, I pour a bucket of water in the morning and evening, and I am very happy to see the seeds that have been planted sprout. In the evening, she and Yinchan went to the front hall to listen to the evening class. The chanting was in Sanskrit. Of course, the two of them didn't understand, but after half an hour, they were teaching and reading; . They all chose the last two seats, really like two boarders in a school: There are all kinds of suffering in the world, but there is no suffering suffered by a sage! The poor who are angry, the bitterness of resentment! A sage does not get angry, anger is a fool! Don't fight for reasons, don't report grievances, and don't get angry! What kind of sex is born, what kind of suffering is suffered; if you want to avoid suffering, you must first transform your sex, and your sex will be round, bright, and bright! Her concubine sits in the front seat; the woman in her fifties has a focused expression, just like a virgin chastity contemplating: in front of the main hall, there is a Buddha lamp like a heart, with blossoming lotus in her heart, and the light and brightness belong to her concubine To be a human being; I really leave more than endless coincidences, and give it back to good fortune; Is it even in the next life, I will still be a beautiful person! In the past half a month, her uncle went to Guanziling three times in a row, once with Yinshan, once alone, and the last time with Aunt Liulizi. What, when he came out again, the eyes of Zhen Guan's uncle and Japanese sister-in-law were red, but Yi still didn't change; the most affection is ruthlessness! This night is the last night in the mountains, and this lesson is also the last lesson; as time goes on, Zhenguan sits on the bench, feeling nostalgic for it: the teacher who taught calligraphy recited the words, and the following also recited in harmony : Only when all sentient beings pass through, can Bodhi be realized; Hell is not empty, and one cannot become a Buddha As if oil had been applied to the copper platform, Zhenguan's heart suddenly lit up. Not only the physical world and all things, not only the world and sentient beings, but even Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva is so infatuated! After the evening class, the two went back to the meditation room to rest; autumn gradually deepened, and the mountain became even more chilly. Yinchan spread out the quilt, sat on the side and yawned like a baby, seeing that Zhenguan was not moving, he asked: "Do you want to sit down?" I'm not sleepy yet Are you reluctant to leave? so what?so what? I want to pull you away, don't I want to pull you away too! Zhen Guan said with a smile: If I want to leave, I won't know myself?You are not a rascal The two men lay down, but when they heard the door panel slam, Yinchan went to open it, and it was indeed her concubine: Concubine, are you still sleepy? Well, come and see, when you go back tomorrow morning, tell Grandpa and the others that it's very good that your sister-in-law is here, so they don't have to worry about it we will Yi's little bun was not cut, and Zhen Guan sat on the edge of the bed and looked at her, feeling that the person sitting in front of her was not a Buddhist, and Yi was still her mother in the world; What else does Dajin have to say? Well; I said it all at home Eminem is here, take care of yourself! I can When Zhenguan sent Yi out, Yi Shan was born, so she stopped Zhenguan and said, "It's cold outside, don't come out; also, Dajin has something she hasn't said, you are not young, sometimes you have to think about life, don't Infatuated and willful, leaving your mother sad Damn, I know After Yi left, Zhenguan lay down and went back to bed, but said nothing; Yinchan then asked: "How are you?" No! She turned off the light, and lay down quietly again, until she heard Yinchan's breathing evenly, and then she sat up again; she opened the window to see the moon, such a cold night, it was really the night as cool as water that Daxin said: Where does the eternal night go? Absolutely to the sound, Xiangge cover, Eyebrows close, the moon will sink; Fighting and not finding each other, resentful quilt, For my heart, for yours, I know each other deeply. She is still crying