Chapter 4 Chapter Four

For several days, her consciousness was in a deep sleep, and what lived and moved every day was only her body, and her mind floated in a trance state.It took several days for her to wake up from this situation, and once she woke up, she felt as if she had gone through a long hibernation, and now she was awake, resurrected, alive and hopeful again Emotions.She walked around in each room, walked up and down, and breathed a completely new air with a certain tension and excitement.Every nerve, every cell of hers was subconsciously waiting for something she didn't know what it was. Bernan looked at her coldly. This was a little woman he couldn't understand at all. Five years ago, she had broken him down with a sad, miserable, and relentless weakness, which made him want her madly. , possessed her, and embraced her in his male arms.But it didn't take long for him to feel cheated, her melancholy lost its excitement to him, and a wife was not a finely carved work of art to be studied, admired, and understood.She was actually a woman who didn't know reality at all and couldn't live. She just sat alone in meditation all day long, as if living in another world.

There is not even a shred of heat on her body!He murmured a curse: She is a human being, not a shadow at all! Seeing some kind of change in her suddenly, seeing her like to pace back and forth, and seeing a sudden flush on her face, he felt a bit impatiently surprised, who knows what happened to this person?Should have researched her family lineage when I married her, were there any cases of madness or idiocy? I think you need to go to the hospital to check!He stared at her and said. I?She stared at him in astonishment: why? You are completely out of order!There must be something wrong with your brain!

She stood by the window, looking at him with a strange look, which he didn't like, with a puzzling smile. You can't completely represent normal! He was a little surprised, when did she learn to argue?But, don't be serious with her, only women and villains are difficult to raise! I'm not going to have dinner at home tonight. Manager Hu is going to treat you tomorrow night. Don't run away from the battle. They are inviting Mr. and Mrs. together!do you know? Why are you taking me with you?Bernan?You clearly know that I don't know how to socialize, why do you still want me to go?

Why?Bernan himself did not analyze it properly.Peiqing is not a beautiful woman, and she is not good at talking.However, he discovered early on that she had an instinct to be attractive, especially to men.Her weakness and shyness are her capital, just like she attracted him back then.A good wife is a great helper to her husband, if only she is wiser! You should study!Celebrities in the world have a capable wife. If you learn to be smart and sensible, it will help my career a lot. For example, old man Meng, why don’t you go to his house and ask him to be your godfather? Help me talk on it! Peiqing bit her lip, her eyes fixed on his face, her eyes were dyed with confusion and bewilderment, she said softly:

Oh, I get it. Got it, don't you?Bernan was smug: You should have understood a long time ago!To live in this world, one has to learn to be smarter! Peiqing lowered her head, she didn't want to say anything, she looked out of the window, the flowers and trees in the garden were scattered, and a pair of yellow butterflies were flying back and forth among the rose bushes.This shouldn't be a world where people eat people!The trees are growing, the blue sky is clear, and the white clouds are leisurely. There should be some indelible spirituality left in this world. Bonan went to work, but Peiqing was still standing there, resting her chin on her hands and meditating.Every time she gets acquainted with Bernando, she feels that she shrinks deeper. The distance between people is sometimes farther than the distance between two planets.However, she no longer felt hurt, and getting along with her for a long time did not bring understanding to people, but instead brought emotional numbness.

The room is still so quiet that you can hear a needle drop on the ground.She was used to being quiet for a long time, but she was not used to Bernan's voice.Be quiet, be quiet, just be quiet like this!She can capture many, many wandering thoughts. The phone rang suddenly, and it was particularly surprising in the silence. Peiqing was startled, walked over, and she picked up the receiver. What new tricks did Bernan have? Hello!The other party's voice was low and deep: Is it you? Her heart was beating wildly, and all the muscles in her body were tense. Her voice was trembling and unsteady: Yes, I am Peiqing.

Let me tell you, I was in the phone booth in front of your house, and I saw him go out.After a pause, his tone was urgent: Can I see you? Her palms were cold, and she bit her lips tightly. I tried my best to restrain myself, and his tone became more urgent: I must see you!can you come outMy car is at the alley. She held the receiver and couldn't speak. Hello!The other party shouted: Did you hear me? Yes.she said softly. I just want to talk to you, you understand?Please!I'll wait for you in the car, if you don't come out, I'll keep waiting! The phone hung up, she put down the receiver, and stood there in a daze.Why is her heart beating so fast?Why is her blood running so wildly?Why can't she control the ecstasy in her head?Why does she have the urge to be desperate?Turning around, she saw Old Wu Ma standing there silently, staring at her suspiciously.

quick!She hurriedly said: "Mama Wu!Give me that purple trench coat! Oh, miss, Wu Ma rubbed her hands on the apron: what are you going to do? I want to go out!Going out now!I may not come back for dinner! Miss Old Wu Ma hesitated to speak, hesitated for a while, and went to the bedroom to get the windbreaker. Peiqing brushed her hair casually, put on the windbreaker, and immediately walked out of the gate without delay.Facing the autumn wind and chill blowing outside the door, she took a deep breath, feeling a burning heat filling her chest. Mengxuan's car was parked at the entrance of the alley, his eyes were focused anxiously on the outside of the car window.Seeing her, he opened the door next to the driver's seat without saying a word, and she got in and sat beside him.The two looked at each other, and for a long, long time, they just looked at each other quietly, and neither of them spoke.Then, Mengxuan started the car, his hands trembling on the steering wheel, blood vessels protruding from under the muscles, beating nervously.

The car slid out of downtown Taipei and headed towards Danshui.Peiqing leaned on the back of the chair, staring at the trees and fields flying by outside the car window.She didn't ask Mengxuan where she was going to take her, and she didn't care about where she was going. Her heart was still beating irregularly, and a vague sense of guilt oppressed her, and her heart was burning hot.And beyond the sense of guilt, joy, ardent longing, and anticipation surged through her chest like a wave. The car passed through the urban area of ​​Danshui, and was driving along the road by the sea. The sea wind swept over violently and passed the car, making a whirring sound.Peiqing took out a light purple gauze scarf from her pocket, tied her long hair behind her head, and breathed deeply against the sea breeze.The waves rolled over the sand and rocks, rolling up thousands of white spray.Finally, the car stopped, and in front of him was a natural arch made of rocks, which was formed by the impact of waves tens of millions of years ago. Looking out from the arch, the sea is vast and bright.

where is thisPeiqing asked. This place is called Shimen, named after this natural arch.Mengxuan said, turned off the engine, turned to look at Peiqing: let's get out of the car and go for a walk! When Peiqing got out of the car, the sea breeze was strong and powerful, and the hem of the purple windbreaker was filled with the wind, and it flew up, and her scarf fluttered in the wind.Mengxuan walked over and wrapped her arms around her waist. not cold?he asked in a low voice. No, not cold.Peiqing replied softly. They passed through the stone gate side by side, standing on the edge of the rocky coast, the sand was rolled up by the sea wind, and hit the skin finely, causing some pain. On the sea in the distance, at the end of vision, there was a ship, like A tiny black speck.

You don't come out often?Mengxuan said, it was like a question, but not like a question. almost not. I like the sea, he said, facing the sea can make people forget all their troubles. You know life, she said: and I, I haven't learned it yet. You'll learn, he looked at her with intense eyes.As long as you are willing to learn. She stared at him with shyness and fear in her eyes, her lips trembling slightly, and her small face was weak and bewildered.He held her hand, which was pale and cold, with slight convulsions.You're shivering, he said, feeling hoarse in your throat and dry on your lips.Why?Cold? No, she bit her lip: I'm afraid. What are you afraid of?Afraid that the sea breeze will blow you over?Or are you afraid that the waves will sweep you away?He gently cupped her cheek with his hand. Her vision was cloudy.I fear you.She said softly, frankly, very pitiful. Don't be afraid, he moistened his lips: You shouldn't be afraid of a person, this person only knows life from you, a kind of rebirth, a kind of resurrection, do you understand? Her eyelashes fluttered lightly, and her eyes were like black grapes soaked in water. I understand, but you shouldn't have come to me, you shouldn't have brought me out. I shouldn't know you.He whispered, gently stroking her cheek with his thumb: I shouldn't have attended the Cheng family's banquet, and I shouldn't have recognized you at the entrance of the Xinsheng Theater.His eyes rested on her lips, where there was a tooth mark.Do you like biting your lips like that?You have the marks of your teeth on the edge of your mouth. He watched, watched, and then his lips covered, covered the marks, covered the soft, quivering lips. No, she moaned, struggling to get away.Please don't!There was an irresistible force in her pleading tone.Don't mess with me, okay?Let me go, I'm so scared! Are you afraid of me? Yes, afraid of myself too.Don't mess with me, I have an active volcano in here.She pressed her hands to her chest.It has been lying still, but it is about to explode, and I am so afraid that once it explodes, the consequences will be unmanageable. You mean your feelings? Yes. If it is an active volcano, it will erupt someday. I don't want it, I'm afraid.I will be burned. You care about those mundane things, don't you?He asked a little bluntly, kicking the stones on the ground with his feet. We can't do without the worldly, can't we?She asked back, with a naive, questioning look on her face. or yes.He couldn't lie to himself, or to her.I can't lie to myself, it would be too cruel to lie to her.Holding her hand, he said: Let's go!The scope here is too small. After getting back into the car, he started the car. They didn't go back on the way, but kept moving forward, speeding along the coast road. Where are you going now?Peiqing asked. Jinshan.Without turning his head, he said, increase the speed of the car to 80 kilometers per hour.His inner emotions were as violent as the speed of the car. Jinshan was very close to Shimen, and after 20 minutes, they had arrived at the square of the Youth Recreation Center.Driving the car to the bridge on the seashore, stopped the car, and they walked on the vast sandy beach.She was wearing high heels, and the heels couldn't stop sinking into the sand. Take off your shoes and come on!He egged on. She literally took them off, put her shoes in the car, and she walked barefoot on the soft sand.They walked along the beach, and two sets of footprints were left on the sand. Her feet were small and white, and they looked particularly thin in the waves. It was late autumn, and there was only the noise of the waves and the cry of the autumn wind on the beach, and there was no one on the vast coast around.His arm was around her waist, and her long hair was fluttering in the sea breeze. How did you marry him?he asked, reluctant to mention Bernan's name. have no idea.She said in confusion: Grandpa had just died at that time. Were you originally with your grandfather? Yes, when I was six my dad ran away and he fell in love with another woman.My mother remarried when I was nine years old. My grandfather and I have always been together. We depended on each other. He brought me to Taiwan, and then, five years ago, he went too. oh!He squeezed her hand, stopped, looked her in the eyes, and cried: You are such a little woman, how do you accept these things? She smiled, but tears rolled in her eyes. Grandpa died, and I felt that I was dead too. He helped me with the funeral. After the funeral, I married him. I felt the same. Anyway, I seemed to be dead. This home is not warm, is it? A very delicate tomb, I buried it for five years. But refuse to be rescued? I'm afraid that if I can't save it, I will ruin others. May I burn to death with you!He said impulsively, and suddenly embraced her, pressing his lips hotly against hers, and wrapped her arms tightly, not allowing her to struggle. In fact, she didn't struggle.The oppressive heat made her dizzy, she had never been kissed like this before.His lips pressed against hers, sucking and turning tremblingly, and the strong heat rushed from her lips to her limbs, muscles, and blood vessels, making her whole body tense.Finally, he raised his head, held her face and stared at her, then he put her head on his chest and hugged her tenderly.Her ear was pressed against his chest, and his heart was beating wildly. The first time I saw you, I knew I was done.He whispered: I have never been moved by such strong emotions. Including your her?She asked, feeling that thin layer of jealousy flooded over like an ocean wave. The love with her is calm, stable and logical.He said. Are you in a good relationship?Are you happy?Are you happy? Look at that aspect. You're avoiding me, she said sensitively, with a sigh.However, I've figured it out. What do you know? You are happy.she whispered.is she cute Why talk about her!Mengxuan interrupted her.Let's move forward! They continued to walk forward, his hand was still around her waist, and two sets of footprints stretched meanderingly on the sand.Peiqing lowered her head, looking at her feet, stepping slowly on the soft sand step by step.When the tide comes, those footprints will all be carried away by the tide.A wave of sorrowful emotions surged up, pressing sourly on her heart, joy and passion all flowed away with the tide.Not everything in life is fair. Some people are born to enjoy happiness, while others are born to suffer. You are upset.He said in a low voice, sighing. She was a little surprised, surprised at his keen perception. I've always lived very primly, she said, sitting down on a rock: I'm not used to crime. You used two strange words, he said uncomfortably: Love is not a crime. It depends on which way you look at it, she said: There are many things we cannot avoid, and you know that, right? Yes, he knew it too, better than she did.When he came to her, it was only a passion, not reason.He has no right to disturb her life, or even hurt her.Lowering his head, he fell silent.A hermit crab crawled out of the wet sand with an ugly shell on its back, and staggered on the sand.Peiqing bent down to pick it up, and put it in her palm. The green shell was twisted and twisted, with thin moss growing on it.The timid creature had withdrawn into its shell, and would never come out again. see it?Peiqing was very sentimental: I am like a hermit crab, no matter how ugly and narrow the shell is, I cannot live without that shell, I need protection and safety. Is this case safe?Mengxuan asked, don't you think it is so fragile that it can't withstand any blow and will be easily shattered? Possibly, Peiqing raised her eyes: But, it's better than nothing, isn't it?Besides, you shouldn't be the one who cracks the shell! He was dumbfounded, yes, although the shell was fragile, narrow, and ugly, what right did he have to break it?Unless he has another beautiful and safe new shell ready for her, is he ready?Looking into Peiqing's sad eyes, he understood what she meant. Holding her hands, he said sincerely, helplessly, and sadly: I think I understand what you mean, I will be very careful not to break your shell, unless he swallows it, he is not qualified Promise anything, even give her any guarantees and hopes.She is a hermit crab, and so is the other woman, and he has no right to crack another shell either! She put her slender little hand on his shoulder, and she looked into his face with a smile.None of us expected this to happen, did we?I don't blame you at all. In my life, I have never been so fulfilled as I am now. What more can I ask for?I finally met someone like you, you're smart, you're wise, you're passionate, so you suffer.I was born to suffer because I belonged to a lost age but lived in a real society.Let us suffer together, if it saves others from suffering. He looked at her, and for a long, long time, he just looked at her like this.That is not a weak little girl, she has knowledge, measure and courage!In front of her, he became small.They looked at each other for a long time, and then stood up holding hands. Today, although there is no good sunshine, it is always theirs. As for tomorrow, they both know that all tomorrows are broken and dark, and they have no tomorrow. Leaving the beach, they walked towards the meadow and the pine forest, and sat down under a pine tree.Her feet soaked in the sea were cold, he took off his suit jacket and wrapped her feet (how he wanted to wrap her like this forever, to give her protection and warmth!) They cuddled together, talking about clouds, talking about trees, Talk about the sky, talk about the waves, just stop talking about each other and feelings, when they don't talk about anything, they just look at each other for a long time, their eyes talk about what they don't talk about: each other and feelings. At dusk, they returned to Taipei.In a small restaurant, they had a simple dinner together, and the time became more and more heavy at the end. They looked at each other, and they couldn't hide their deep sorrow. What is just found is about to be lost.He said that after drinking a little wine, he was actually drunk. Or not lost, Peiqing said, nibbling the rim of the cup with her teeth: at least, somewhere deep in my heart, we still retain what we have gained.She raised her glass to him: bless you! He drank the wine in his glass. After leaving the restaurant, he took her back to the door of the house, stopped the car, and grabbed her by the corner of her clothes.Before you go, tell me one thing, he said: What's your full name?Last name? May.She said, how deeply they knew each other, and how strange they were!Xu Peiqing.When my grandfather was alive, he called me Pei Pei and also Qingqing.Sometimes, he calls me Ziwaer and Xiaolinghua. Xu Peiqing.He muttered in a low voice, a purple water lily floating in the mist! She was gone, the purple shadow disappearing into the night mist, and he sat there without driving the car away.Lighting a cigarette, he saw the faint purple in every smoke ring.From the radio of a nearby house, a blurred singing voice wafted out: Now so close to the end of the world, a farewell becomes a stranger Is it a picture of them?Why not?