Chapter 5 Chapter Four

August 1st (Sat) We will post the calligraphy and paintings of those old people on the bulletin board in the corridor on the third floor.The uncle is responsible for affixing the upper layer, and I am responsible for affixing the lower layer. Ever since I saw the murder notice, I started to care about Uncle.No matter when I was working, eating or resting, whenever I regained my senses, I found myself staring at the uncle.Because I watched it too often, the uncle asked me three times: Did I do something wrong again? Every time I pretended to be stupid and asked him: Huh?What did you say?But when he noticed that the girl was looking at him, it was too sad to think that he had done something wrong.When he was on the tram, if someone stepped on his foot, he would definitely apologize to the person and say sorry.

I saw a well-known female fortune teller on TV before saying that there are two kinds of people in the world, those with good luck and those with bad luck.Uncle should belong to the unlucky people, of course, I am no exception. Although the uncle works hard to do every job well, he will still cause trouble for others; when he arranges the iron pipe chairs, his fingers will be caught; Make the atmosphere more awkward. Just now he scattered all the thumbtacks on the ground.While I can't stand him a bit, it's even more sad that I can predict his actions afterward. oops!sorry Sorry sorry

The uncle said exaggeratedly, and hurriedly picked up the thumbtack, but he didn't realize that the box was full of hair and dust.He didn't do it on purpose. Although he was indeed not careful enough, the main reason was that his attention was focused on cleaning up the mess. Worry about being annoying, worrying that others can't stand you, worrying that others think you can't do it, and worrying about being excluded by everyone. Maybe I behaved like my uncle in school.As much as I hate to admit it, after coming here, every time I feel sad looking at Uncle, the feeling gets stronger.

Yuki must have felt tired when we were together. To this day, no text message from her has been received.Cell phones are prohibited in nursing homes, so I always turn them off and put them in a locker in the locker room, but today I set it to vibrate and secretly put it in my trouser pocket.I'm going to get off work soon, so maybe it's easier to just turn off the phone and tell myself that Yuki was going to invite me to watch the fireworks, but he didn't get in touch with me. I don't know what Yuki is doing?Is it really Yuki who wrote the murder notice?If it was really her, how would she kill uncle?

It was the same with Ogura at that time, Yuki never relents in doing things.She usually said that there is no way to talk about it.There was a girl in the class, and everyone ignored her. I said she was pitiful, but Yuki said coldly: She was taking advantage of other people, but she dared not admit it. What can I do? Moreover, she has a beginning and an end, or in other words, she does things in a strict manner.Even if the lottery draws the next lottery and draws a job that she doesn't like very much, once she accepts it, she will definitely complete it to the end.Maybe she felt that rather than saying I couldn't do it or admitting that she couldn't do it, she would rather grit her teeth and stick to it.

From this point of view, I may not see those old people die, but realize death through the uncle.He will be killed because of me.Although I can save Uncle as long as I tell Yuki the truth, but I absolutely can't do it. If even Yuki hates me, I'm alone. Kusano, please. The uncle standing at the top of the ladder called me. Thumbtack? No, this painting is too heavy, I want to stick a few more thumbtacks, can you help me there? Looking up, the uncle is using a large thumbtack to fix a piece of watercolor painting canvas painted with many colors.I reached out to reach the bottom of the canvas, but just missed it.

I can't make it. No, you're standing on a ladder. The uncle said in embarrassment.I never get on a ladder, never leave my feet off the ground.I don't want to stand on such an unstable place, I don't want to fall again. When I say no, it’s no good.no no no no The eyes suddenly turned black, as if fingers were pressed hard on the eyelids.I can't breathe.Save me, save me Yuki, save me. I went to the hospital at the same time as last time.Only Xiao Subaru is in the ward today.Roubaozi went to check. Originally, he came here specially to tell him that things might have some clues, but this brat really doesn't know how to pick the time.No, maybe he deliberately avoided me so that I couldn't regret the appointment.

Don't think he looks stupid, it turns out he is so shrewd. I handed Xiao Subaru the gift box of snacks I bought at the newly opened nostalgic orange shop in front of the station. It's like a temple fair!He looked happy, sister, will you go to watch the fireworks today? Um. I really envy.When I was a child, I also went to watch the fireworks every year. My father, mother and I put on our yukatas, went to the roadside stalls to eat and play, and then went to the beach to watch the fireworks. beach?If it's nearby, is it Matsuhama Beach? Yes, yes, it's a good place for insiders to know. There are no people, but you can see it clearly.That's when my dad told me I was so happy.

He kept saying: Dad, Dad, that must be his happy time. When you are in good health, you can go again! Subaru made such an expression.I accidentally said something without thinking about it.Although he probably didn't know that the success rate was only 7%, he might have been mentally prepared for a major operation. In order to change the subject, I picked up the snack bag he had left on the bed table and asked him if he wanted to eat it?He said that he would eat with his wife after asking the nurse. My wife is going to have an operation this month, and we are encouraging each other. I can't steal it by myself.

He has such a good heart.Although I don't know if all elementary school students today are like them, but I didn't expect him to think of friends even at this time.I don't know what he would say to Roubaozi when he was dying. I guess he would say to me: Sister, thank you.Thinking of this, I suddenly became full of energy. Could you please peel an apple for me? he asked a little shyly.Subaru had a paper bag on the shelf of his bedside table with six apples in it.He said that Aunt Gang sent him. The knife is in the top drawer. Opening the drawer, I found a fruit knife inside with a cover on the blade.

Subaru, I'm sorry, can I cut the skin for you instead of peeling it? I know, it turns out that you can't peel the skin. No, I was injured before, and now the grip strength of my left hand is only three. Are you left-handed? No, I use my right hand, but when peeling, don't you have to hold the apple with your left hand? yes to me. I handed him the apple and fruit knife, and he began to peel it, turning the apple deftly with his left hand. You are amazing. I have practiced it, so I can cut it myself when I want to eat. My left hand has a grip strength of only six, and my right hand has only nine. Is it very weak?But when peeling an apple, as long as you have the strength to hold the apple and the knife, it is enough to rotate your wrist flexibly. This is what my father taught me. It's dad again, maybe he thinks about his dad all day. Then I will practice too. I will teach you.Today I have cut it, before my operation, will you come again?I have surgery next Wednesday.I want to do something for you at the end, as a memory of our becoming good friends. at last At this time, the door opened and Roubaozi walked in. Sakura, so you are here. This kid is still so ignorant of the rules, but he came back just in time. By the way, what happened last time? He asked casually while looking for snacks.Xiao Subaru asked him: What is it?He replied lightly: The book of hell!His acting is really good. It seems to have a clue, wrapped around me. Hearing what I said, Roubaozi bowed to me with a serious face and said: Please. This kid is also very loyal. I woke up in the infirmary.It's already past seven o'clock when I make the same old mistake again.I just remember that Aunt Onuma said she was going to call my house, and I shouted: Don't do it.I don't want my mom to know that I've triggered hyperventilation again. Uncle got off work at 7:30, so he took me to the station to take the tram.When I was sitting in the passenger seat of the car in the nursing home, I saw fireworks bursting in the sky not far away, and they were red. Today is the fireworks show, didn't you invite your friends to watch the fireworks? The uncle sitting in the driver's seat asked me while watching the fireworks through the windshield.Sure enough, he asked me the last thing I wanted to mention. I'm afraid of going to crowded places, so I don't want to see it.Also, my friend doesn't like this kind of thing either. Yeah?I asked things I shouldn't have asked. The uncle looked ahead and said.The fireworks rose into the sky again.Big red flowers, green, yellow, and blue. When we were in elementary school, our whole family went to watch the fireworks every year. My father who worked in the city hall would apply for advance tickets so that he could enjoy them comfortably at the viewing seats by the sea. If you don't feel the vibration of the fireworks explosion in your body, and think that the sparks will fall on your head, you will not be able to feel the charm of fireworks at close range.Dad says that every year, but I find it's beautiful from a distance too. Do you like fireworks?Uncle asked me. like. Then let's go to a place where we can see more clearly.A little bit up from here, there is an open space. Don't worry, it's a good place that only the insiders in this area know. There should be other people, but there won't be too many people. what to do?But I also don't want my mother to ask me worriedly after returning home: Is there still no way to go this year? Then I send a text message home. I took out my mobile phone, and the uncle started the car. The car passed by the bus stop where I usually ride. After driving for less than five minutes, a small open space appeared in front of me. It felt like a U-turn for the car that drove here along the asphalted mountain road and thought there was some scenic spot ahead.The road ahead is not paved. Already three families and two couples of high school students sat on the plastic sheet to watch the fireworks. I just found this. I got off the station and watched the fireworks. The uncle took two large garbage bags used in nursing homes and spread them on the ground.I'm wearing sportswear, with garbage bags on the floor, and an uncle beside me. What if people think I'm a house girl dragged out by my father to watch the fireworks?However, no one was looking at us anyway. As far as the eye can see, there is absolutely nothing blocking the fireworks rising in the distant sky.It's really first class here. After entering middle school, I was afraid that if my classmates saw me watching fireworks with my family, it would be embarrassing, so I invited Yuki to go with me.Yuki declined, saying: It's too dangerous for two children to watch.But my mother called and told Yuki's mother: We have tickets for the viewing seats, so don't worry.In the end, I went with Yuki. Because my mother said I would wear a yukata, Yuki's mother also prepared a yukata for her.Yuki said with a straight face that her mother helped her choose it, but I knew pink was Yuki's favorite color. The fabric of that yukata is not pink, but has a pattern of pink morning glory on a white background, which looks very feminine.My yukata has a goldfish pattern on a blue background, so I'm envious of her. However, Yuki stopped wearing a yukata in the second year. The fireworks are so beautiful. The uncle muttered.He looked at the dark sky with tears in his eyes.I thought he brought me to watch the fireworks for me, but now I realize that he wanted to watch it himself.Does the uncle also feel lonely watching fireworks alone? He absolutely doesn't know that someone left a message and wrote about his murder notice. If I tell him now, I don't know how he will react.I hope he'll just laugh it off and say: How can you believe all that crap on the internet?But that's not his style. Maybe you will be more dejected, watching the fireworks in the distance lonely what's on your mind? What are you thinking?You may be thinking that life is very fragile, and the happiness that has been carefully piled up will collapse in a blink of an eye.Today, I feel like I am walking a tightrope at night. Tightrope walking at night? There is a short story titled "Small Night Walking the Tightrope".Don't look at me as an old man, I like literature very much.I remember it was last year, and that work won the Newcomer Award from a literary magazine that I regularly buy every month.Although no booklet has been released, I like that story very much, and sometimes I suddenly want to take it out and read it again. I didn't expect the uncle to have watched <Xiaoye Walks the Tightrope>. Is that magazine still there? Yes, but keep it at home, I remembered!I remember that it was introduced in the newspaper that the writer is a teacher from a nearby high school, so he must be a teacher from your school, right? That's right! Yeah?awesome.The opening and ending poems are also great, the most brilliant is the main character Wait a minute, don't tell me, I haven't seen it yet.I'd love to see it anyway. Yeah?I'll bring it to you another day. another day, next week Tomorrow is Sunday and I'm off.I remember that it was the uncle's day off on Monday, so I had to wait until Tuesday, which was the day when the uncle was announced to be killed. If he was killed before going to work, I would not be able to see it.Also, since I knew he had a magazine, I wanted to read it right away. Can I pick it up at your house today? No, it's too late, and I forgot where I put it, it might take a while to find it The uncle showed a troubled expression.But I really want to see it, I miss this opportunity, and I don't know when I have to wait. Nevermind, I want to watch it right away anyway.please! I want to know anyway, what does Yuki think of me who has become a waste, what am I to Yuki?Are Yuki and I still friends? After leaving the hospital, I went home first, and after taking a bath, I asked my mother to help me change into a bathrobe. I really like this pink morning glory bathrobe on a white background, but ever since I knew that my grandma made it for me and told me to wear it when I grew up, I stuffed it in the quilt closet and planned to never wear it again.Today can only be an exception. Are you going to wear a bathrobe?How rare, does Atsuko also wear a yukata? This year I went with another classmate, Zizhi, who was transferred from the second grade.That kind of thing happened to Atsuko last year, so I didn't invite her. I lied.Although I said that I went with Zizhi, in fact, everyone's name is the same.Except for Atsuko, my mother didn't know the names of the other students in the class. Yeah?What time are you coming back? Don't know, but it won't be too late to go home. Maybe what Grandma did is right, I hope this won't happen! Mother exhorted as if nothing had happened, but she hit the nail on the head. I just canceled the access control, and I messed with boys, and I got into a big disaster. In order to avoid this from happening, shouldn't I buy condoms?Where should I buy it?What if the neighbors see you when you are dressed for a temple fair and go shopping for that kind of thing? I am most afraid that my mother will become a grandma one day. If something goes wrong now, I won't be able to leave that house even after I graduate from high school. Maybe Makise will prepare.He is going to take the university entrance exam soon, and the school rules of their kind of good school are also strict.Having said that, this guy is an idiot, maybe he didn't find out until after it was over.The three items should be properly arranged on the issue of contraception. Do you have to think about this kind of problem every time you have sex?Or do you not need to think about this kind of thing, and the boat will naturally go straight when it reaches the bridge? Makise and I made an appointment at the entrance of the shopping center near Coastal Avenue where the fireworks display was held.When Makise, who arrived first, saw me, he walked to the street to greet me, and took my hand as a matter of course. The streets are packed with stalls of all kinds. Do you know a good place to watch fireworks?Makise asked. In the past, Atsuko's father helped us pre-purchase tickets for the viewing seats set up next to the embankment every year.correct I heard that Songbin Beach is a good place for those who know the inside, just walk straight from the viewing area. Oh, it turns out that it can be seen there too.Then let's buy something to eat along the way. Makise said, took my hand, and walked into the crowd in front of the roadside stall. Many people from other counties and cities came to participate in this fireworks display on the sea. It was not an easy task to move smoothly on the crowded coastal road. Noise, but walking together with Makise, but will not bump into others or stop.He seems to know how to ride the crowd. He said to the lady at the fried noodle stall in a hearty tone: I want a big plate.Said to the uncle who fried mixed vegetables in a relaxed tone: I want freshly fried.Bought dinner along the way. Do you visit every year?Makise asked me. After middle school, I watched it every year. Watch it with Atsuko every year. Although our relationship has been a bit stiff this year, I haven't forgotten about Atsuko.But even when we see posters of fireworks displays on our way to school, we avoid the topic. Last year, Atsuko developed hyperventilation in a crowded crowd, because we met middle school classmates who entered the Dawn Hall and participated in the kendo club. Atsuko, long time no see.You hear me, one more win and we can play in the National High School League.We could definitely make it to the high school league if you were there.Why didn't you come to the Dawn Pavilion?It's a pity that you haven't joined the Kendo Club yet! You still have the face to say such things!My words have already rushed to the lips, Atsuko touched his chest, breathing quickly.I didn't have time to scold those stupid girls. After covering her head with a plastic bag for first aid, I went home with Atsuko before starting to set off the fireworks. What did those girls do?Atsuko didn't tell me that after she refused to push Zhen to enroll, I learned from my classmates that someone wrote bad things about her on the campus community website.Why bother to talk bad things about others behind their backs.I'm a little bit skeptical, but I didn't see it for myself until I got out of high school and bought a cell phone. That's not as simple as a bad word. Why didn't I find out sooner?Why didn't she find out about these things before she gave up kendo, before she refused to accept the test?Why didn't I take a look at the content for myself after my classmates told me about it? Atsuko lost herself because of those irresponsible comments on the Internet, what can I do for her?I racked my brains, thought hard, and finally thought of I wanted to write something by myself, but I wrote it just for Atsuko, but I didn't expect it to backfire. I can't even watch the fireworks.On the tram home, Atsuko burst into tears. I tried to comfort her, but she insisted repeatedly: Yuki, you don't understand at all. Before that, I didn't know that the manuscripts were stolen by Ogura, and I was just annoyed that I had lost the manuscripts. But at that time, listening to the sound of fireworks, I thought disheartenedly, even if I showed those manuscripts to Atsuko, I might not be able to read them. change anything. Progress slowed. I don't know if the stalls are set in a fixed location every year.Like last year, there was a long queue in front of the booth of the city's famous Honey Cake Ball Shop, located in the middle of the road.Last year, Atsuko and I lined up in front of the booth, betting on the color of the first firework this year, and whoever guessed it right could eat hot honey cake balls first.This place with sweet little memories is also where Atsuko developed hyperventilation. Smelling the sweetness of the cake, I thought back to last year, and earlier. I am afraid of crowded places, and I am very worried that I will bump into people, so I always hesitate to move forward. Atsuko was different, she walked more freely than Makise. Before starting to set off the fireworks, she always looked around, wandering around this booth for a while, and then said that she should go back to the booth just now, and wormed her way through the crowds.When the first fireworks rose into the sky, she immediately grabbed my hand and rushed to the viewing booth. When Atsuko takes my hand, I can move unimpeded through the crowd.It turned out that her intuition and responsiveness could also come in handy at this time, no matter how crowded she was, she would never bump into anyone. I love fireworks because it's the only time of the year you can ignore the gates and go out at night. However, Atsuko should not have noticed. Atsuko always ignores important things. It was she who let me know that the world is so vast. Fireworks rose into the sky. People on the street stopped and looked up at the sky.is red. Five minutes walk from the bus stop between the station and the nursing home for the elderly is the uncle's home.He lives in a two-story old wooden apartment, a room on the east corner of the first floor.Because we were worried that it would be too late, we gave up watching the fireworks, drove the car back to the Nursing Home, and took the bus to the uncle's house together. I waited at the door of his house, and the uncle quickly came out with the magazine. You can pay me back anytime you want. I flipped through it casually, wondering if it was because he had read it so many times that the creases had been left, and I turned to the page <Xiaoye Tightrope Walking> all at once.The first sentence came into view. Just one jump is enough to confiscate talent. I'm having trouble breathing.I don't have the confidence to go home smoothly by myself. Mr. Kaohsiung, can I go home after watching it at your house? no it's a bit He showed the same expression I had when I sat across from him at lunch on the first day at the nursing home. Although it is a short story, I am afraid it will take an hour to read, and I don't want to cause misunderstandings. What is he saying?I just want to go to his house and read a book.No matter how blind I am, it's impossible for something to happen between me and my uncle. Are you single?Or, do you have a girlfriend? The problem is not that simple. What would others think when a teenage girl came to the house of an uncle in his thirties?And, maybe it's rude to say that, I don't believe you.Maybe after you leave my house, you will tell your family or the police something that is not true. I would never do such a thing. Maybe you're not, but I get scared when I see girls your age.You people can tell lies without changing your face. Not only do you say it seriously, but you gradually believe your lies and hate me in turn.I don't want to lose my precious things because of you selfish little girls. It was the first time I saw my uncle so excited. Then let's go to Fanglin Restaurant.Let's go to the Fanglin Restaurant in front of the bus station. Please stay with me when I watch it. The uncle tilted his head. I'm just getting in the way. No such thing.You can eat or drink coffee by your side, whatever you want, but you have to be by your side because I'm afraid, I'm afraid to watch <Small Night Tightrope Walk> by my friend. your friend?You don't mean the teacher, do you? My classmate, Xiao Cang, who was our class tutor last year, stole the work written by my friend. How can it be?Isn't this going to be revealed soon? No, my friend didn't say anything, but I knew from the first line that she was writing it after me. Based on you? I have been practicing kendo since I was in elementary school, and I am still very strong. I have also won the championship in national competitions. I could apply for sports promotion to enter high school, but I fell in the final of the county competition and sprained my foot.Everyone hated me, and after that, my world was ruined.Don't you think it's too much?We are friends, but I don't know what she is thinking. She doesn't tell me anything, but writes novels behind my back, and uses my greatest pain as a material.I want to know how Yuki sees me, but I dare not watch it alone, so please stay with me! Tears welled up in my eyes. I read the novel <Small Night Tightrope Walker>, and I fully understand that your friend wrote it based on you, but I think you misunderstood her, your friend is so pitiful. Yuki is too pitiful? The house is messy, if you don't mind, you can watch it at my house. The uncle quietly opened the old door. There was the sound of fireworks in the distance. This year's fireworks display has also come to an end. go to bed.Although I came here for this purpose, it is not as simple as I imagined to put it into action. When we sat side by side on the beach watching the fireworks, Makise recited the boring mantra of lithium red sodium yellow potassium purple.It turns out that this formula can be used to memorize the flame reaction of metals, and I secretly feel a little admiration. But after the fireworks are over, I keep talking about these topics, which is a bit unflattering. He mentioned the names of a few universities he was planning to go to, and he talked endlessly about his parents telling him to go to national universities, but he felt that those universities sounded very old-fashioned.I don't feel a sense of urgency in him as a candidate at all, and he speaks as if he can pass all of them, as long as he decides which school to go to. I don't know if he is extremely smart or a super-optimistic idiot.I'm guessing it's the latter. I believed what was written in those boring magazines that Atsuko lent me, so I misunderstood the high school boys nowadays.I thought that all men were crazy and just wanted to sleep with girls all day long. As long as I put on my bathrobe and went to a dark place where there were no people, it would automatically develop to that point.Am I naive? I listened to Makise's boring conversation. There were still many people on the beach when the fireworks were set off just now, but now there are only a few couples sitting here and there not far away. It's almost time to go.Maybe it's just another place to listen to his nonsense, but other couples have gradually left, and it seems like a waste of time to continue spending here. Makise also looked at the couples returning home, our eyes met. You seem to feel different than usual. Have it? The atmosphere is good!It turned out that Makise was also waiting for our alone time. Is it because of wearing a yukata? The yukata I didn't even want to wear finally worked. No, it's not.Usually when I am with you, I always feel that you are out of your mind. Today, I seem to have a down-to-earth feeling, which makes me feel a little pity. pity?What's the meaning? When we met last time, didn't you ask me if I had seen the dead body?Hearing you ask that, I thought to myself, I guessed right.When I saw you for the first time, I thought you were the same as me, that's why I struck up a conversation with you, and I was right. Where are we the same? Do you want to watch other people die?Do you feel super envious when you hear me say that you have seen the uncle commit suicide? um, this Am I right?This feeling can only be known by those who have personally experienced it.In fact, my life has always been carefree, but since I saw that uncle committing suicide, I feel that it lacks excitement, or it is boring. There are homicides happening every day in Japan, and 30,000 people commit suicide every year. Why is my surrounding so peaceful? I think Watch people die. It is usually impossible to say this kind of thing, but I can say it in front of you.Don't you think it's amazing?In order to watch people die, I also set up a website called Death Prophecy Book, which can only be linked from the social networking site of the nearby school. Is it okay for you to set up this kind of website?Will the police come to your door? No, no, because nothing ever happened.At the beginning, there were a lot of messages about suicide notices and homicide notices. If they left the time and place, I would be very excited to read them, but they all fell to nothing.The Internet is really a virtual world, everyone writes some irresponsible words, relying on this method to relieve stress.I recently thought about shutting down that site. The virtual world is like this! Yes, haven't you seen these days? what did you see? Of course someone else died!That's why you look different today than usual.Tell me, what is the situation?I will show you something nice next time in return. what's the good stuff? Scraps of paper.Didn't I tell you last time that the uncle threw a piece of paper before committing suicide?I picked it up as a souvenir.Some fell on the palm of his hand, some were stained with blood, I picked up a lot, if I knew I should have brought them today. He still sounded good when he was talking about death in the library, what's going on now?I believe that's just in his nature. Makise is dangerous. But maybe he can be used. Uncle's house is not as messy as he said, and he doesn't have enough furniture and daily necessities to mess up the house.In addition to the narrow entrance and the kitchen (or sink) with only a gas stove, there is only one Japanese-style room with a size of three square meters. There should be another room behind the closed paper sliding door.Although the space is small, it should be more than enough for one person. I sat in a three-ping large room with a small TV, a storage box, a table, and two cushions to read the magazine.The uncle said: There is nothing at home.The canned iced coffee that I seem to have bought for myself was placed in front of me.I also read books with you.While I was reading the article, he took out the latest issue of the magazine and read it.The cover reads: A Dream Contest for Emerging Writers, with the names of the two friends that Ogura often flaunts written in large letters. It may be because I seldom read books. I have to read some sentences several times, and sometimes I have to go back to the front to re-read them. There are also some incomprehensible passages that I suspect may have been revised by Ogura. I haven’t finished reading them for a long time. .I might miss the last bus, so I need to send a text message to my mother as soon as possible. After reading it, I realized that the opening part that the teacher photocopied to us was a poem given by the protagonist to a good friend.The whole novel describes the entanglement between a talented protagonist who gave up kendo, and another good friend who likes kendo but had to give up kendo due to injury.In a relaxed way, it describes how these two people feel impetuous and suspicious about what they have lost, but worry about each other all day long. Finally, the two people finally connect with each other and continue to write the continuation of the poem at the beginning. It's getting closer to the end. Halfway through, I burst into tears, and the tears kept flowing. When I saw the last line, the tears burst like a bank.I put down the magazine and wiped away my tears with the backs of my hands, while the uncle handed over the paper box. I envy you for having friends who can write novels like this. Uncle said.Although I was also very moved after reading it, but thinking that many people have read this novel, I still feel that I have been used.She's writing the story of two people, only one of whom is famous, as if poised to set off for a faraway land. She just used me as a subject. Does your friend want to be a writer? No idea, we never talked about the future. Does she write often? No, I think it should only be that time.Because at that time, calluses grew on her hands from holding the pen for too long. Did she write it by hand? Because Yuki doesn't have a computer. Few people write by hand now, so she wrote by hand The uncle repeated the handwritten words repeatedly, with an expression of admiration on his face. It takes almost a hundred manuscripts to write!She doesn't want to be a writer, but it must be very hard to write so much content by hand.Maybe she meant to inspire you, maybe she didn't intend to contribute, but wanted to give it to you as a gift. I never thought about it that way.Yuki only writes for me? Why should she bother, just tell me face to face. What should I say? this Saying that you won't die even if someone on the Internet says bad things about you feels like the idea of ​​the end of the world is so weird.Thinking that you are worthless and blindly trying to cater to others will only make you more lonely.In fact, everyone is supporting you. Don't think you understand me, how can someone as dull as you understand me? look!Tell you to your face, and you will refute like this.Did you say the same thing to your friend?So she racked her brains to think of ways to tell you, and finally wrote this novel.Usually when someone says that he doesn't understand the situation at all, he will be so angry that he doesn't want to talk to her. You can't possibly understand.I seem to have said this sentence to Yuki several times.I also said it at the high school entrance ceremony.When I could push Zhen to enter the Dawn Pavilion, I once said to Yuki: Let's go to the Dawn Pavilion together.Because Yuki's grades must be more than enough, but Yuki said: I can't read there.Because her grandma and mother are both alumni of Sakura Palace High School. Back then, Sakura Palace High School was still a school full of tradition and style, and the students' grades were also very good, but now it has completely changed.Even though Yuki told her family that way, her family still disagreed.She said: What can I do. However, I told Yuki that it was impossible for you to understand or that I didn't want to come to such a place. I was just talking casually just now, besides, I don't know you very well, I just summarized the outline of the novel.Although what I just said made you very angry, you cried while reading the novel.I deeply understand that the author wrote this novel after careful consideration, thinking about how to develop the storyline and what words to use to move you.Although this work is excellent, I am afraid that only you will cry when you read it. My tears welled up again.If Yuki showed me <Saya Tightrope Walking> to my face, I might feel that she didn't mean it, but just said some nice words to comfort me.Although I want to know Yuki's sincerity, maybe I'm covering my ears. Fortunately, my uncle was by my side. Before showing it to you, the work was stolen, I believe your friend should be very unwilling.Did she really not sue the other party? No, she won't do that. Yeah?It turns out that there are also such female high school students nowadays. Well, I have to go to work tomorrow. I will sleep here, and you can sleep in the next room. With that said, the uncle stood up and opened the paper door leading to the next room. In the room was a single bed made of iron pipes that could be bought for about 3,000 yuan. Then I'll stay here for one night.Good night. I slept alone in the next room. If the uncle didn't mention the embezzlement in the end, it reminded me of Ogura, maybe I would say to the uncle: I want to sleep with you.Although I can't tell if I just want to sleep on his arm, or I can accept his body.Still, it doesn't matter if I end up sleeping alone.I probably don't care about both! If the uncle and I have a physical relationship, wouldn't it be like Xiao Cang and the little sailor?Even if we are not a teacher-student relationship, I don't like him enough to insist on being with him regardless of social obstacles. I turned over on the bed, and there was a rustling sound under the pillow. When I took the pillow away, I saw it was a photo.Did he put the photo here as a charm?In the photo is a cute little boy who looks like a primary school student. Because only a small light bulb is on in the room, it is impossible to tell whether he looks like an uncle or not. August 3rd (Monday) 晚上八點，我來到三條指定的樣品屋，按下門鈴。 門開著，進來吧！對講機傳來說話聲。他沒有問我是誰，是因為附了攝影機嗎？現在大部份都會裝攝影機，只是不知道鏡頭能照到多大的範圍。 門沒有鎖。玄關大廳和上次的展示場一樣，只有一塊花崗石。三條從右側前面的房間走了出來，一臉錯愕的表情。 你好，我是小倉。我報上假名。 你好，我姓中田。牧瀨也報上假名。 煙火大會的那天晚上，牧瀨說想要看人死去，我就告訴他，有一個小男孩快要死了。雖然原本很猶豫該不該告訴牧瀨，但因為完成計劃的時間緊迫，再加上為了將自己的風險降到最低限度，我認為這是最好的方法。 果然不出所料，牧瀨一口答應。當我告訴他，這件事只能拜託曾經見證過死亡時刻的他，他拍胸脯保證，一切交給他處理。 傍晚的時候，我們約在夢之台附近的速食店見面，他給我看了上次的碎紙片，然後就來到這裏。 我以為他偷偷跟著我，在關鍵時刻才會現身救我。沒想到他說要和我一起去找那個大叔，所以我們一起走進了大門，但不知道牧瀨到底有甚麼計劃。 不過，牧瀨倒是提醒我說話要小心一點，不然只會造成反效果。 我們一起參加了朗讀會小鳩會，我也希望可以為即將接受高難度手術的小男孩完成他的心願，所以一起來拜託你。 牧瀨很有禮貌地對一臉錯愕的三條一鞠躬。 算了，你們進來吧！ 右側就是客廳。天花板挑高，從二樓房間的窗戶可以看到客廳。裏面是飯廳和廚房，有著漂亮流線型弧度的木製餐桌上放著紙袋、臉盆和水桶。 這裏也有像上次的展示場內相同的柔軟皮沙發，三人座的沙發和單人沙發呈Ｌ形放置，中間有一張玻璃桌。如果三人沙發正面的牆上放一台電視，很適合家人團聚。 三條坐在單人沙發上，蹺起了二郎腿，宛如在他自己家裏。 你們也坐下吧！於是，我和牧瀨並肩坐了下來。 小倉。三條開了口，他在對我說話。 我猜妳是這麼想的一個中年男人晚上找小女生出來，一定會向妳提出下流的要求，交換我所知道的秘密，所以，妳找男朋友陪妳一起來。 他說得對，我沒有答腔。三條誇張地歎了一口氣。 我不用想，也知道你們這種小鬼心裏在想甚麼。你們這些人既愚蠢又單純，卻以為自己的想法主宰了這個世界。 雖然我很討厭他用你們把我和其他人歸為同類，但三條說的話和我平時對班上同學的看法相同，所以我默不作聲地繼續聽著。 牧瀨也一臉認真地聽著。 比方說你們覺得中年男人都很齷齪下流，即使對自己的父親也一樣。衣服不要混在一起洗、洗澡要自己先洗、鍋子要準備兩個你們以為自己憑甚麼活在這個世界上？ 三條越說越生氣。這簡直就在說，他在家裏受到了這種對待。 我們之前約好，妳幫我做兩、三件事，我就告訴妳那個人的下落。很遺憾，我對妳的身體完全沒有興趣，妳以為自己這麼值錢嗎？妳除了年輕以外，沒有任何價值。 我有點生氣，那你又有甚麼價值？ 這麼晚了，還滿不在乎地和男生單獨在外面遊蕩，不知道妳父母是怎麼教妳的。 三條滿臉不屑地輪流看著我和牧瀨。甚麼這麼晚還在外面遊蕩，不是你找我來這裏的嗎？ 既然你們兩個人一起來，就兩個人一起做吧！ 三條奸笑著。他的表情變化都像在演戲，似乎很久之前就進行過無數次想像訓練，一直在等待可以讓他說教的高中生出現在他面前。 小倉，妳先去廚房把餐桌上那個袋子裏的東西洗乾淨，要用手洗得很乾淨趕快去洗。 叫我洗東西？What's the meaning?裏面放了甚麼可怕的東西嗎？我搞不清楚三條的意圖，但還是站了起來，走向餐桌。 我慢慢打開口部摺起的紙袋這種難以形容的臭味是怎麼回事？好像混雜了納豆、起司和魚乾的味道。那是大叔的臭味，是老人味。 紙袋裏放了三天份的廉價舊四角內褲和襪子，這是三條穿過的嗎？也許從上次見面後，他就每天留著故意不洗。 這些全部要用手洗？我想找橡膠手套，卻遍尋不著。 統統放進那個水桶裏。 紙袋旁有一個淺藍色水桶。只要倒進水桶就好了嗎？我用右手把紙袋裏的東西放進水桶裏。 用兩隻手一起拿。 無奈之下，我只能兩隻手一起伸進紙袋，把裏面的髒衣物拿出來但不小心掉了。 look!I knew it. 三條站了起來，帶著勝利的表情走了過來。 妳覺得很髒，所以不想碰嗎？中年男人穿過的衣服就這麼髒嗎？ 好痛他用力打了我右肩一拳。我撞到桌子，水桶掉在地上，四角褲和襪子散落在富有光澤的褐色地板上。 請不要用暴力。牧瀨站了起來。 三條的舉動稱不上是暴力，但他擋在三條面前保護我。 你誤會了，她的左手不方便。 What?這是你們的慣用伎倆，只要發現情況對自己不利就找一大堆藉口，而且還不惜說謊她是殘障嗎？說這些不負責任的話，你們輕視這個社會到甚麼程度既然這樣，那你先去洗。 三條抬起頭，瞪著牧瀨。 牧瀨面無表情地回望著三條。他在想甚麼？如果現在鬧僵，計劃就會泡湯了。 等一下，我來洗。我擠進他們之間。我會洗洗這些東西很輕鬆啦！ 我伸手撿起掉在地上的髒衣服放進水桶，走向廚房的流理台。只洗這麼一點東西，三條居然準備了一整盒洗衣粉。 太浪費了！我似乎可以聽到教鞭揮動的聲音。 流理台流出了熱水。我倒了洗衣粉，用力搓洗起來。 老實說，他的要求讓我感到驚訝，但比之前洗癡呆阿嬤的髒衣褲，這實在算不了甚麼。雖然臭得可怕，但至少沒有沾到排泄物。 對，對，要洗乾淨。 三條盛氣凌人地從一旁探頭張望，反正我和他毫無瓜葛，只要當作是在洗衣店打工，就不會感到屈辱。他叫我做這種事，到底有甚麼樂趣可言？ baffling. 叔叔，你的父母需要人照顧嗎？ ah?需要人照顧？這種事，讓有閒工夫的人去做就好了。 有誰和他們同住嗎？ 我大哥一家人，我每個月都匯三萬圓，但他們居然叫我偶爾也幫忙一下，開甚麼玩笑。 這傢伙太賤了。 對了，我想到一個好主意妳的也一起洗吧！ ah? 把我的內褲和妳的內褲放在一起洗。 他得寸進尺。他以為他是誰啊！ I do not want. look!妳也一樣。妳不是想完成生病少年的心願嗎？廢話少說，快脫。 三條伸手準備翻起我的裙子。 你別這樣 請你適可而止。 是牧瀨。他剛才就在廚房角落呆呆地看著我們，現在終於伸出了援手。 你說甚麼大話？那現在輪到你了。三條對牧瀨說：你給我跪在這裏，雙手放在地上，對我說：老公，你工作一天辛苦了。然後把桌上的臉盆拿過來，裝熱水後幫我洗腳。 他居然能夠想到這種餿主意。 牧瀨的眉毛微微抖了一下，臉上掃過一絲極其不悅的表情。 如果我不這麼做，你就不告訴我們嗎？ 他說話仍然彬彬有禮。三條並沒有察覺他的情緒變化，挺著胸膛。 沒錯，拜託別人就要按別人的要求去做。對付你們這些不懂禮貌的人，就要讓你們學會禮貌。她似乎已經瞭解了，至於我要不要告訴你們，就取決於你的態度了呃。 用力向後仰、身體幾乎快向後倒下的三條按著肚子蹲了下來。 牧瀨踹了他一腳。 我要報警。 你要怎麼說？ 說你動手打人，你對我所做的是暴力行為。 那我會告你恐嚇。你自己聽。 牧瀨從口袋裏拿出一個小錄音機，只有手機的一半大。 這是我平時在補習班用的，性能很不錯。從我們進門之後，我就一直在錄音。請問你有甚麼證據？ 原來他在錄音。 我終於瞭解了他剛才說的妳說話要小心一點、為了實現生病少年的心願和請不要用暴力這些話的意思。 三條沉默不語，牧瀨對他露出清新的笑容。 大叔，你一定以為只要不和高中女生上床就不是犯罪，但是，我倒覺得你要求我們做的這些事更變態。你家裏是不是有讀高中的孩子？我猜應該是女兒吧！家人都不把你放在眼裏，所以你就脅迫對你有所求的高中女生，消除你的慾求不滿，這已經構成了犯罪行為。我看你就適可而止，反省一下，告訴我們那個人的下落吧！ 白癡才會告訴你們。 三條瞪著牧瀨。 我只是在教育你們，如果你以為出言威脅幾句，大人就會聽你的話就錯了！呃。 牧瀨第二次踢腿也正中三條的側腹。阿嬤揮教鞭時總是流著淚，為甚麼牧瀨可以笑著動粗？ 我一直捺著性子擺出低姿態，而且，我並不是只有一個證據而已。 牧瀨從另一個口袋裏拿出手機，打開手機操作起來，然後遞到三條面前。我也在旁邊探頭張望。 播放錄影功能？廢話少說，快脫。三條伸手準備掀我的裙子。 三條按著側腹，瞪大了眼睛。 你也看到了，這很變態吧？我先寄第一封。 我放在口袋裏的手機響了。 大叔，下一個要寄給誰？我告訴你，這不是我的手機，我看到它放在桌上，就借用了一下。這種時候不把手機保管好，會遭到濫用。大叔，你姓哦，原來你姓瀧澤，順便把你的資料也寄一份備用。 我的手機又響了。 由紀，妳的表情不用這麼緊張。我知道，我知道，通話紀錄，刪除。雖然也可以寄給你的同事，不過，還是寄給你女兒吧？雖然你女兒不把你放在眼裏，但你的通訊錄裏應該有她的郵件信箱吧！ Wait a moment!三條無力地垂著頭，眼淚不停地流。我告訴你們。 早說不就好了嗎？也許現在我們三個人可以開開心心地在芳鄰餐廳吃晚餐，點一個披薩一起分享。一大把年紀的大人死要面子，想要在小孩子面前耀武揚威，所以你的兒女才會反彈吧？言歸正傳，那孩子叫小昴嗎？他父親的手機是幾號？ have no idea. What?事到臨頭還說這種話就太不夠意思了吧！牧瀨把玩著手機說。 我沒騙你們，我只知道他工作的老人安養院， 老人安養院？他在這種地方工作嗎？本市有三家老人安養院，不知道是哪一家？ 話說回來即使要動手術，那孩子居然想見被控色狼而進警局的父親，還真勇敢啊！三條不屑地說。 satyr? 肉包子告訴我，小昴的父母因為父親的原因離婚。satyr.如果自己的丈夫因為這種原因被抓去警局，任何女人都會想要離婚吧！建商的業務員最注重信譽，難怪公司會解雇他。 但是，小昴知道這些事嗎？ 如果知道，他還想見父親嗎？如果是我絕對不想見他，即使快死了，也不會想見他。既然父母已經離婚，應該也斷絕了父子關係，如果就這樣原諒父親就太糟糕了。 因為會一輩子背負色狼的兒子的罪名。 也許阿嬤是癡呆症還比較好。不，半斤八兩，勝負難分。 你應該做過更惡劣的事吧？ 牧瀨說，三條再度垂下了頭。 我絕對不想要這種父親。 爸爸即使你薪水微薄也沒有關係，但拜託你千萬別做一些奇怪的事。 我環視著我爸爸一輩子也買不起的豪宅。 天花板挑高又怎麼樣？花崗石又怎麼樣？有三條這種賤人的家根本沒有價值。 離明天的時間不多了。 煙火大會的翌日早晨，我和大叔一起離開他家，分別站在馬路兩側的公車站，準備搭相反方向的公車。我先上了公車，當看不到大叔的身影時，我感到一陣心痛。 這本雜誌給妳吧！大叔把刊登了<小夜走鋼索>全文的雜誌送給了我，我看了一次又一次。 我整天都關在自己的房間裏。午餐的時候，媽媽為我做了三明治，分別夾了我喜歡的生火腿和起司，還有洋芋泥中加了明太子的明太子洋芋泥沙拉。有一次，我問由紀，為甚麼便利商店沒有賣這種三明治，她叫我自己去想。 晚上，我們一家三口去了爸爸常去的壽司店。爸爸說，我這陣子每天都吃老人安養院的供餐，可以儘量點我喜歡的。我點了最喜歡的海膽壽司，吃得肚子撐死了。 回家後，三個人喝著咖啡，分享了別人送的瑞士卷蛋糕。他們問我老人安養院的事，我說大家都對我很好，也告訴他們在遠處靜靜地欣賞煙火也很棒。 我還告訴他們，平時很照顧我的職員送了一本我之前就很想看的書，今天一整天都在看那本書。爸爸和媽媽都說也想看。 那本書一定很好看，才會連妳也受到感動。 以前在家裏看日本傳統民間故事全集的錄影帶時，由紀哭成了淚人兒，敦子卻一臉無趣的樣子。爸爸一臉懷念地說。 那時候，爸爸很擔心我是不是缺少了某些重要的東西，由紀告訴爸爸，敦子看到瘤爺爺故事裏的好爺爺在鬼面前快樂跳舞時，或是開花爺爺故事中，開花爺爺讓枯樹開花這種努力讓人快樂的場景會流淚。 有這種事嗎？我問媽媽。媽媽說，她不記得細節了，但一直覺得由紀最瞭解我。 我經常和爸爸、媽媽像這樣聊天，卻從來沒有發現。 原來我根本沒有不幸。 我好像終於慢慢瞭解由紀在<小夜走鋼索>中對我說的話。 如果妳認為自己這麼不幸，我可以把我的人生和妳交換。如果妳不願意，就代表妳並不是世界上最不幸的人。 我好想見到由紀。我想發簡訊給她，但手停了下來。 我沒臉見她。 今天大叔休假。我簡單地打掃後，就去幫忙小澤阿姨。我第一次協助送餐，也終於知道缺乏握力是怎麼一回事。沒辦法拿飯碗，也無力拿湯碗，即使慢慢拿起來，也一下子就灑了。一個老奶奶吃完飯後，想把餐具放回推車，結果整個托盤都掉在地上。看到這一幕時，我恍然大悟。 學生餐廳供應五種餐點：豆皮烏龍麵、拉麵、咖哩飯、每日特餐和漢堡焗飯，我們平時帶便當，偶爾才去學生餐廳，但由紀每次都吃咖哩飯。即使我推薦說漢堡焗飯很好吃，她也總是排隊買咖哩飯。她喜歡吃咖哩嗎？並不是。她應該不討厭咖哩，但更重要的是，她只能端咖哩飯。湯麵類只要稍微晃一下就會灑了，套餐和漢堡焗飯太重，無法用一隻手拿。 她在其他方面一定也有類似的不方便。 由紀，我真羨慕妳，一下子就可以想到很貼心的話，大家都覺得妳很好，哪像我笨手笨腳的，一點都不機靈。 我之前好像對由紀說過這種話。 凡是說自己笨手笨腳的人，大部份都是不夠細心。 幾天後，在聊到其他同學的時候，由紀隨口說的這句話其實是對我說的。 我好想見大叔，只有大叔才能體會我此刻的心情。雖然這個星期結束後，就不再去老人安養院幫忙了，但我以後還想見到大叔。當第二學期開學後，也許還會遇到很多令我不安的事，我希望可以把這些事都說給大叔聽。 但是，明天有人要殺了大叔。 想要殺他的真的是由紀嗎？ no.雖然我想了悟死亡，但我絕對不想看到由紀殺害大叔。如果發生這種事，我會一輩子都無法振作。 我必須阻止這件事。 要不要傳簡訊告訴由紀，大叔其實是好人？要不要告訴由紀，大叔稱讚她寫的小說？no.我的詞彙太貧乏了，根本不可能說服由紀。我只能靠腕力阻止她，我必須比由紀更靠近大叔。 但是，真的是由紀嗎？由紀沒有電腦，即使順利用手機進入死亡預言書這個網站，會在那裏留言預告殺人嗎？ 也許有其他人對大叔恨之入骨，想要殺了他。Who is it?老人安養院的人嗎？impossible.但是，我除了知道大叔在銀城工作以外，對他一無所知。聽小澤阿姨說，他曾經離過一次婚，兩者之間有甚麼關係嗎？ 總之，我絕不能讓大叔送死。 還剩下一小時就是明天了，還來得及搭末班車。 附近這一帶正在建造房子，街上幾乎沒有路燈，我和牧瀨走在夜晚的新興住宅區。 小昴終於可以見到他父親了。 是在一家叫銀城的地方。三條說。 那是甚麼地方？老人安養院？不是汽車旅館嗎？ 牧瀨懷疑地問。我告訴他，的確有這家老人安養院。原來妳知道？那就沒問題了。於是，我們一起離開了樣品屋。 早知道根本不需要牧瀨。雖然洗腳的要求太離譜了，但只要乖乖幫他洗腳，即使不需要恐嚇他，三條應該也會告訴我吧！ 太好了，總算搞定了。 牧瀨雖然說得很輕鬆，但一副功勞在我的語氣讓我很火大。 先去老人安養院找他父親，讓他們在醫院感動相見，之後就可以送他去接受成功率只有百分之七的手術。如果他在手術前說姊姊，謝謝妳的話，就完美無缺了我真的有點變態。甚麼時候動手術？ 後天，星期三。 不會吧，這麼快？所以他們明天見面？我明天要模擬考。 對哦，真可惜。 其實我知道他明天要模擬考，所以才會找他。 沒關係，但好像只有我沒有撈到好處。我最討厭只有我吃虧的感覺下次我們不知道甚麼時候才能見面，擇日不如撞日，乾脆今天做一下吧！ 做一下 既然要利用別人，就要作好付出代價的心理準備，也可以認為是和命中注定的男友第一次相互擁有的十七歲夏夜。 甚麼意思 這裏怎麼樣？他指著用藍色塑膠布圍起的工地。 他打算在這裏做嗎？ 已經從三條口中得知了小昴父親的下落，即使現在和牧瀨上床，也沒有任何好處。要不要逃走？但萬一被他抓到，不知道他會做出甚麼事，我才不想變成三條那樣。 等我看到他死之後，會如實向你報告而且，下次我要告訴你一個很大的秘密。 甚麼很大的秘密？ 關於那些紙片的秘密。 ah?real or fake?Really?他可能對那些紙片很感興趣，所以一口就答應了。關於小昴死去的瞬間，我本來就打算在成功後向牧瀨炫耀，所以根本不是問題。 我會用甚麼方式說？ 一切都取決於明天。 大叔看到我這個深夜十二點多上門的不速之客，露骨地露出為難的表情。我原本還以為大叔完全瞭解我，難道是我自作多情