Chapter 72 seventy two

For the next three months Philip visited Mildred every day.He took his books with him when he went, and as soon as tea was over he buried himself in reading, while Mildred lay on the sofa enjoying the novel.Sometimes, he raised his head and stared at her for a while, with a faint sweet smile on his lips.Mildred, however, always sensed the look he was looking at her. Don't watch me waste your time, fool!Just do your homework, she said. What a dictator, he replied cheerfully. When Philip saw the landlady come in to spread the table-cloth for dinner, Philip put down his book, and joked with her in good spirits.The landlady was an elderly, small Cockney, with a sharp tongue and an amusing sense of humour.Mildred had befriended her, and had given her a detailed but false account of the circumstances which had led to her present unfortunate situation.The kind-hearted little woman was deeply moved, and felt that so long as Mildred lived comfortably, no trouble was too great.Mildred, out of politeness, suggested that Philip appear as her brother.They dined together, and Mildred's appetite was unpredictable.But Philip always felt unspeakably happy when he ordered something that whetted her appetite.Seeing her sitting opposite him, he couldn't help being fascinated; he couldn't restrain his inner joy, and from time to time he took her hand and held it tightly.After dinner, Mildred settled into an easy chair near the fire, and he sat on the floor next to her, leaning on her knees, with a cigarette in his mouth.They were often silent.Sometimes, noticing her dozing, Philip would not move for fear of waking her, but would sit quietly, gazing idly at the fire, and enjoy his happiness to the fullest.

Did you sleep well in the afternoon?When she woke up, he asked with a smile. I'm not sleeping, she replied, just closing my eyes. She would never admit that she was asleep.She was aloof by nature, and her present condition did not particularly inconvenience her.For her own health, she has put in all her efforts, no matter what, as long as he is willing to make suggestions, she will listen to them.Every morning, as long as the weather is good, she goes out and stays outside for a while.When the weather wasn't too cold, she sat in St. James's Park.The rest of the day, she spent leisurely sitting on the sofa, either reading one novel after another, or chatting with the landlady.She loves to gossip, and her chatter is so intense that it lasts for a long time.She went on and on to Philip about the landlady's life, and about the tenants who lived on the drawing-room floor, and about the neighbors.Now and then, with a frightened look on her face, she told Philip that she was afraid of the pain of childbirth, that she might die because of it.Then he told Philip all about the delivery of the landlady and the lady who lived above the drawing-room. (As for the lady above the living room, Mildred doesn't know her yet. I'm just a quiet person, she said, not the type to start talking to anyone.) She had a kind of She spoke in an indescribably excited and terrified tone, but most of the time, she remained calm about the impending labor.

Anyway, I'm not the first woman to have a baby, am I?Besides, the doctor said I would be all right.You see, it seems that I am not a woman who was born barren. Seeing that the due date was approaching, Mildred went to find Mrs. Owen, the landlady.Mrs. Owen recommended a doctor, and Mildred checked every other week.The doctor charges fifteen guineas. Of course, I could have paid him back, but Mrs. Owen strongly recommends this doctor, so I don't think it's too small to lose the big. If you feel happy and comfortable, I don't care about the cost!Philip said. She took it for granted that Philip did for her, as if it were a matter of course; and Philip, on his part, liked to spend money for her, and every five-pound note excited a happiness in him. sense and pride.Philip gave her a good sum of money, because she never spent money calculatingly.

I can't tell how the money was spent, she said to herself, it just flowed through my fingers like water. It doesn't matter, said Philip, I'd love to do anything I can for you. She was not good at needlework, nor did she sew the few essential garments for the soon-to-be-born child.She told Philip that it would be much cheaper to buy pieces of it than to make them yourself.Philip had several mortgages, and that was all his money.He recently sold one for five hundred pounds, which is now in the bank, ready to be invested in a cause whose significance cannot be immediately understood.At this moment, he felt that he was extraordinarily rich.The two of them often dreamed of the future together.Philip wanted Mildred to take the baby with him, but Mildred kept refusing, because she still had to earn a living, and it would be much easier to find a job without the baby.She intended to go back to the shop where she had worked and leave the child with a decent woman in the country.

I can find people who will take care of their children for seven shillings and sixpence.In this way, both for me and for the children, it is beneficial. This seemed a little unnatural to Philip.But when he tried to reason with Mildred, she pretended to think that Philip only regretted paying child support. You don't have to worry about child support, she said, I will never ask you to pay. I don't care how much I have to pay, you know that. Deep down in Mildred's heart she wished that the child was stillborn.Although she did not show it at all, Philip saw that she did.At first, Philip couldn't help being taken aback, but later, after some consideration, he had to admit that, in view of various factors, it was desirable that this was the case.

It's very nice to sit and talk about this and that, complained Mildred, but it's hard to get a girl out to fend for herself, and it's even harder when you have a child with you. Fortunately, you and I can help you, Philip said with a smile, and took Mildred's hand. Philip, you have been very kind to me. Oh, talk some goddamn shit! You can't say that I didn't pay you at all for everything you did for me in the past. For God's sake, I never wanted anything from you.If I've done anything for you, it's because I love you.You owe me nothing.I hope you love me too.Other than that, I have nothing more to ask of you.

Philip was a little taken aback at the idea that Mildred saw her body as a commodity which she could freely offer to buyers for the best possible use. But I do want to repay you, Philip.You have always treated me so affectionately. Well, it doesn't hurt to wait a little longer.After you recover, it won't be too late for us to go on our honeymoon for a few more days. You are naughty, she smiled brightly and blamed Philip. Mildred hoped to confine herself to confinement in March in Yangchun, and as soon as she recovered, she would go to the seaside for half a month, so that Philip could study for the exam undisturbed, and then it would be Easter. The two of them had already planned to go to Paris for vacation. .Philip was talking endlessly about their activities in Paris.Until then, Paris was a delightful place to be.They could take a room in a small hotel in the Latin Quarter, which he knew well, eat food in one of the charming little restaurants, go to the opera at the theater.He would also take her to enjoy music and lead her to meet his relatives and friends.All this will amuse her.He had spoken of Cronshaw to Mildred, and she had longed to see him.And Lawson, who had been in Paris for several months.They will also visit the Ballroom des Pilliers, and they will visit Versailles, Chatraz, and Fontainebleau.

That would cost a lot of money, she said. Oh, never mind the cost.think about it.I've been thinking and looking forward to this day.Don't you realize how important this is to me?In the past, I didn't love anyone but you, and I won't love anyone else in the future. Mildred smiled and listened to his impassioned speech in silence.He thought that what he saw in her smiling eyes was tenderness, for which he was grateful to her.She is much more tender than usual.The air of arrogance which had been unpleasant in her past was gone now.She was used to being in front of him, and she no longer put on a pose, and she no longer combed her hair as carefully as before, but casually tied it into a bun.Her thick bangs, which she usually keeps neat and tidy, were let loose.Her thin face made her eyes appear very large.The lower eyelids are wrinkled and stand out against the pale cheeks.She looked gloomy and sad.From her, Philip seemed to see the shadow of the Virgin Mary.He hoped that Mildred would never change her color from year to year.He experienced happiness that he had never experienced in his life.

Every evening, at ten o'clock, Philip rose to take leave of Mildred, partly because she liked to go to bed early, and partly because he would have to work an hour or two when he got back, to make up for the hours he had lost. .He usually brushes her hair before leaving her.After saying good night to her, Philip dedicated his kisses to her ceremonially.First, he kissed the palm of her hand (how slender her fingers are, and how beautiful her nails are, because she spent a lot of time trimming them), then he kissed her hands from right to left. She closed her eyes, and finally kissed her lips, kissed and kissed.On the way home, his heart was overflowing with love.He looked forward to the opportunity to fulfill his life's desire to make up for the lack of self-sacrifice that had worn him out.

Soon it was time for Mildred to move to a private hospital, where she was due to give birth.At this point Philip could only visit her in the afternoon.Mildred made up another story, presenting herself as the wife of a soldier stationed with a regiment in India, and introducing Philip as her brother-in-law to the matron of the private hospital. I have to be careful about what I say, she told Philip, because there is another wife here whose husband works in the Ministry of Civil Affairs of India. I wouldn't worry about that if I were you, said Philip.I believe her husband went in the same boat as yours.

What ship?she asked innocently. Ghost Ship [Note: Legend has it that the ship of the Dutch sailors destined to drift at sea until God's Last Judgment Day is considered to be an ominous omen.Here is Philip's joke. 】chant! Mildred successfully gave birth to a girl.The baby was lying beside her when Philip was allowed in to see her.Mildred's body was very weak, but her spirits were light because it was all over.She showed the baby to Philip, and she looked at him curiously. The little thing looks funny, doesn't it?I couldn't believe she was born to me. The newborn was red all over, wrinkled, and looked weird.Philip looked at it, with a smile on his face, not knowing what to say.He was embarrassed because the nurse who owned the private hospital was standing next to him.From the way she looked at herself it seemed to Philip that she did not believe Mildred's complicated version at all, that he was the child's biological father. What are you going to name her?Philip asked. Whether to call her Madeleine or Cecilia, I have not yet made up my mind. The nurse walked away, leaving the two of them alone for a few minutes.Then Philip bent down and kissed Mildred on the mouth. I'm so happy my dear, everything passed without a hitch. She raised her slender arms and hooked them around Philip's neck. You're such a sweet fellow, dear Phil [Note: Philip's nickname. 】. Now I finally feel that you are mine.I have been waiting a long time for you, my dear. They heard the orderly come to the door, and Philip straightened up hastily.When the nurse entered the room, a faint smile appeared on the corner of his mouth.