Chapter 12 Part Six: Coffee on the Green Mile II

chapter Five The next day, the group that had lunched in my kitchen after the stumbling execution of Delacroix ate lunch together in the same place.This time, our war council has a fifth member: my wife.It was Jen who convinced me to tell the truth to others, and my initial reaction was to keep my mouth shut.I asked her, everyone knows, isn't it worse? You didn't think it through, she replied at the time, probably because you haven't recovered yet.The worst-case scenario they all know is that John turns up at the scene of a crime he didn't commit.If anything, this fact makes the situation slightly better.

I'm not sure, but I listened to her.I expected Boot, Dean, and Harry to scream when I told the truth (I can't verify it, but I know it's true), but they were lost in thought and silence.After a while, Dean took another cookie that Janice had brought, spread lots and lots of cream on it, and asked: Do you think John saw him?He saw Wharton abandoning the two girls, and even saw him raping them? I think if he saw it, he would try to stop it, I said, as for whether he saw Wharton, maybe when he was running away, I think he might have seen it.Even if he saw it, he later forgot it. That is, Dean said, he was special, but not very bright.He didn't recognize Wharton until he reached out and grabbed him from behind the bars of his cell.

Boot couldn't stop nodding, no wonder John looked so surprised and taken aback.Remember how he opened his eyes? t I nod.He shot Percy and killed Wharton, that's what Janice said, and I've always thought that.John.Why would Coffee kill Billy the Wild Boy?Maybe there was a reason for killing Percy, because it was Percy who stepped on Delacroche's mouse, and it was Percy who burned Delacroix alive. John knew it all, but what about Wharton?Wharton was at odds with each of us, but in my opinion he never messed with John, they lived on the Green Mile, and never spoke forty or fifty words from the beginning to the end, and half of them were on the last day Said.Why did he do that?He was from Putong County, where as far as white kids were concerned they couldn't see a Negro unless they happened to be on the road.Why is he doing this?What did he see, what did he feel when Wharton grabbed his arm, so disgusted that he would save the poison he had sucked from Mary for him?

And he almost killed himself, Bout said. Almost seventy percent of his lives were lost.I think the only thing that can explain why he killed Wharton is Miss Detrick.At first I thought the idea was absurd, too coincidental to be possible.Then I remembered Curtis.Something that Anderson wrote in the first report I saw on Wharton, that Wharton was pretty wild, that he was wandering around the state before the final highwayman killed those guys.Wander around the state.That got my attention, and how he almost strangled Dean when he first arrived.this reminds me The dog, Dean said, rubbing his neck, where Wharton's chain was stuck.I don't think Dean is aware of his actions at all.That's how the dog's neck was broken.

Anyway, I went down to Puton County and looked over Wharton's trial records, and all we have here is reports of murders that got him in the Green Mile.In other words, it is about the last journey of his life, but what I want is the beginning. Got into a lot of trouble?Bout asked. Yes, vandalism, petty theft, setting fire to a haystack, even stealing a bomb: he and an accomplice stole a detonator and detonated it by a small river.He committed crimes very early, probably in his teens.Just as I saw this, the sheriff came and asked me who I was and what I was doing, I was lucky.I told a little lie that I found a stack of photos under Wharton's mattress during the cell inspection, all of them were naked girls.I said I was going to look it up and see if Wharton had been guilty of sodomy before, because I heard there were still a few unsolved cases in Tennessee.I was careful not to say anything about the Detrick twin girls case.I don't think he thought of that either.

Of course not, said Harry, how could they have thought of that?After all, the case was closed. I said that I didn't think it was interesting to pursue it any further, because there was nothing in Wharton's file anyway.I mean, there's a lot of stuff in the file, but none of it has anything to do with that.The sheriff, his name was Catlett, laughed and said that not everything that a bad boy like Wharton did would end up in court records.Besides, so what?Isn't he dead, isn't he? I said I wanted to satisfy my curiosity, nothing else, this sentence made him relax a lot.He took me back to his office, sat me down, gave me a cup of coffee and a donut, and told me that sixteen months ago, when Wharton was about eighteen, he was in a town on the west side of the county. The daughter of someone else in the barn was discovered by the owner.It wasn't rape, the man's description of Cartlett was more or less finger prodding.sorry dear.

It's all right, Janice said, but she was pale. How old is that girl?Bout asked. Nine years old, I replied. Bout was startled. Someone else would have been there, Big Brother or Cousins ​​or something, and the man would have gone after him, but no.So he reported the crime to Catlett, but made it clear that he only wanted to warn Wharton.No one wants to publicize such a shameful thing.Anyway, Sheriff Cartlett has been dealing with Wharton's past affairs for some time. Wharton was sent to a correctional institution for about eight months when he was fifteen.Later, he felt that he couldn't do it anymore, so he took three people and went to Wharton's house together, pushed the crying Mrs. Wharton aside, and warned William.Wild boy Billy.Wharton said, don't be like those sore-faced fools who fuck little girls in haylofts who haven't even heard of menstruation, let alone had it.Cartlett told me that we gave the kid a hard warning and his head exploded, his shoulder dislocated, and his asshole popped.

Boot couldn't help laughing, it sounded like the routine of Pudong County, he said, it was too similar. About three months later, Wharton escaped and started messing around until that robbery thing, I say, robbery and murder, sent him to us. So he's fucked little girls once, said Harry, taking off his glasses, breathing on the lenses, and wiping them, little girls.But doing it once isn't a habit, is it? A man who does such a thing never does it just once, my wife said, and then she pursed her lips so tightly that they almost disappeared. Then I told them about my trip to Trapinger County.I to Rob.McGee was much more candid, and honestly, that's about as far as I can go.To this day, I don't know what he made up about Mr. Detrick, but the McGee sitting next to me in the restaurant looked like he was seven years older.

In mid-May, a month before the robbery that ended Wharton's career as a fugitive, Klaus.Detrick painted the family's barn, which happened to be next to the Bowsers' dog house.Detrick didn't want his son to climb the high scaffolding, and besides, the boy was in school, so he hired a helper.Very nice guy who doesn't talk much.Just three days of work.Oh no, that guy didn't sleep at his house, and Detrick wasn't stupid enough to equate niceness with silence for safety, especially back then when there were always hordes of backcountry thugs on the road, and families always will be very cautious.But the man didn't need a place to live, he told Detrick, he had a place to live in town, in Ivar.Price home.There is indeed a man named Ivar in Tefton.Ms. Price, she did have a room to rent, but that May her tenants were all in plaid coats and top hats, and were pulling boxes of samples, that is to say, all traveling salesmen, none of them Fitted the look of the man employed by the Detricks.McGee could tell me this because he checked at Mrs. Price's on the way back from Detrick's farm, and that's why he was so uneasy.

Even so, he said, the law ain't against a man spending the night in the woods, Mr. Edgecombe.I myself slept a night or two in the woods. The hired help didn't spend the night at Detrick's house, but he had two dinners with the family. He might have met Howie, and possibly the sisters Cora and Kath.He might have overheard their conversation, and it might have been about how much they were looking forward to the coming summer, because if they were good, and if the weather was nice, Mom would sometimes let them sleep on the porch, they could imagine themselves the wives of the pioneers , across the Great Plains in a wagon.

I can picture him sitting at the dinner table, eating roast chicken and Mrs. Detrick's rye bread, listening, hiding the wolf's fierce light well, nodding, smiling, and putting it all together in the heart. Paul, that doesn't sound like the guy you were talking about just walking up the Mile, Janice said skeptically, not at all. You didn't see him at Indianola, ma'am, said Harry, just standing there with his mouth open, his bare bottom sticking out of the hem of his hospital gown, and told us to put pants on him.We thought he was either on drugs or an idiot, right, Dean? Dean nodded. The day after he finished painting the barn, a guy in a bandanna robbed the Hampe trucking company in Jarvis town and I told them he got off with seventy dollars and he took the trucker An 1892 one dollar dollar that the mascot carries around.The silver dollar was found on Wharton's body when he was arrested.Jarvis was only thirty miles from Tefton. So this robbery this fugitive you think he stopped for three days to help Klaus.Detrick's painted barn, my wife said, join them for dinner and say pass me the green beans like a normal person. The scariest thing about a guy like him is that you can't predict his actions, Boot said, and maybe he planned to kill Detrik's family, loot them, and then, somehow, a dark cloud came and blocked the sun , or for some other reason, I changed my mind.Maybe he just wanted to calm down first, but most likely he had already set his sights on the Detrick twin girls and planned to turn back.What do you think, Paul? I nod.Of course I thought about that, and the name he said to Detrik. what name?Jen asked. Will.Bonnie. Bonnie?I don't That was Wild Billy's real name. Ah.Jen's eyes widened, oh!So you can get John off the hook!Thank God!You just take William.Wharton's picture, just show Detrick a front view of him. Boot and I exchanged unease glances.Dean looked hopeful, but Harry just looked down at his hands, as if suddenly he was interested in his nails. What's the matter?Janice asked, why are you looking at me like this?McGee must be Rob.McGee struck me as a nice guy, and I thought he was a law enforcement officer, I said, but he had no power in Trappinger County.The real power is Sheriff Cribbs, and it's snowing in hell for him to retry Detrik's case based on the facts I can find. But if Wharton was there, if Detrick could make out his picture, they would know he was there Just because he was there in May doesn't mean he went back in June and killed the girls, Boot said.His voice was low and gentle, as if he was telling someone the news of the death of a family member. On the one hand, this guy helped Klaus.Detrick painted the barn and left.It turned out that he was indeed running around, but there was nothing against him when he was in Turfton in May.On the other hand, this big black man, this huge black man, was found by the river, holding two dead girls, both naked. He shook his head. Jen, Paul was right, McGee might have his doubts, but he was nothing.Cribbs was the only one who could retry the case, but he didn't want to mess with what he thought was a happy ending.He'd think, a nigger, not our kind anyway.Great, I'm going to Cold Mountain, get a steak and a beer at Big Ma's, and watch him go to the electric chair, and that's the end of it. All this, the more she listened to the horror on Janice's face, she looked at me, but McGee believed it, didn't she, Paul?I can see it in your face.McGee knew that he had arrested the wrong person, couldn't he stand up in front of the sheriff? The only thing he'll get for coming forward is losing his job, and I said, yes, I think he knew it was Wharton who killed him, but he said to himself, if he keeps silent, keep playing the game until Cribbs retired or fed himself up, and that seat was his.Back then, things were different.I think that's how he thinks about falling asleep.And at one point, maybe he wasn't that different from Homer.He'd think, that's a nigger anyway, and they ain't trying to electrocute a white guy. Then you have to meet them, Janice said.Her tone was resolute, and I felt a chill when I heard it.Tell them what you find out. Jen, how do we tell them what we found?Boot asked, still in a low voice, do you want to tell them that Wharton reached out and grabbed John when we got him out of prison and performed a miracle for the warden's wife? No, of course not, but she realized that the ice was thin under her feet here, and she turned around, so tell a lie, she said, looking at Bout defiantly, and then her eyes fell on me.Her eyes were so hot they could burn a hole in a newspaper. A lie, I repeated, what kind of a lie? That's why you went to investigate, you went to Pudong County, then Trappinger, and you told that fat sheriff Cribbs that Wharton himself told you that he raped and killed Detrick The girl at home said that he recruited.Her burning eyes turned to Bout again, Brutus, you can support him.You can say that you were there when he made the confession and you heard it.Well, maybe Percy heard it all, and maybe that was what was driving him crazy.He killed Wharton because he couldn't bear what Wharton had done to those children, he couldn't take it anymore.Just what's the matter?What's the matter?God, say it! Not only Boot and I, but even Harry and Dean looked at her in horror. We've never reported anything like this, ma'am, said Harry as if he were talking to a child, and people would be the first to ask why we didn't report it.Guys in cells, whatever past crimes they say, we have to report.Whether it's their own or someone else's. It's not about whether we want to believe him or not, Boot interjected, a guy like Wild Billy can tell a lie, Jen.The crimes I've committed, the big shots I've known, the women I've slept with, the home runs I won in high school, even the fucking weather. But she showed a look of extreme pain.I went over and put my arm around her and she jerked my arm away, but there he was!He painted their damn barn!He had dinner with them! That's all the more reason for him to brag about the murder, Boot said. It's not a big deal anyway, so why not brag about it?Anyway, one cannot die twice. Let me think things through.As we sit at this table, we all understand John.Instead of killing the two girls, Coffee tried to bring them back to life.Of course, Deputy Sheriff McGee didn't know the whole truth, but he certainly knew that the man accused of murder and sentenced to death was not actually a murderer.But you still can't reopen the case?Not even a retrial? That's right, Dean said, wiping the lenses harder, and that's about it. She sat there with her head bowed, thinking.Bout wanted to say something, I raised my hand to keep him from speaking.I don't believe Janice can figure out how to get John out of this kill box, but I also don't believe it's impossible.My wife, she is a woman frighteningly clever and frighteningly determined.The combination of the two can sometimes be overwhelming. Well, she finally spoke, then you have to get him out yourselves. lady?Harry was startled, overwhelmed. You can do it, haven't you done it once?Then you can come a second time.Only this time there was no need to bring him back. Mrs. Edgecombe, do you want me to explain to the children why their father went to prison?Dean asked, charged with helping a murderer escape? Dean, that's not going to happen.We can figure out a way to make it look like a real jailbreak. The guy can't even remember how to tie his shoes, what else can you think of?Harry said, who could believe it. She looked at him hesitantly. It's no use running away, Boot said, and even if we managed to make him escape, it's no use. Why?She sounds like she's about to cry, why the fuck doesn't it work? Because he's a six-foot-eight balding black person too dumb to feed himself, and I say, how long do you think he can hide before he's recaptured?two hours?six hours? He used to walk around without attracting attention, she said, and a tear rolled down her cheek, which she wiped away with a flick of her hand. This is true.I once wrote to some friends and relatives in the south, asking them if they had seen anything in the newspapers about John.Coverage of characters featured in Coffey.whatever.Janice also wrote to ask.We have only one possible sighting so far, and that was in Muscle Shore, Alabama.A tornado hit a church where people were rehearsing a chorus, it was 1929, and a big black man pulled two people out of the rubble. At first, in the eyes of bystanders, both of them were dead, but later, they didn't even have much damage to their hair.According to an eyewitness, it was like a miracle.The black man was temporarily hired by the pastor of the church as a handyman for a day. During the commotion, he disappeared. You're right, he was traveling, Boot said, but you don't forget that most of his traveling was before he was accused of raping and killing those two girls. She sat without answering for a full minute, and then did something that shocked me almost as much as it had surprised her by my sudden tears.She stretched out her arms and swept everything on the table: the plate, the cup, the silverware, the bowl of kale leaves, the bowl of pumpkin, the plate of carved prosciutto, the milk, the jug of iced tea, everything. The table hit the floor and shattered. God!Dean yelled in shock and threw his body backwards, almost falling on his back. Janice ignored him.She stares at Boot and me, mostly me, coward, you mean kill him?She asked, are you going to kill the one who saved Malinda?Moss' life, and the one who tried to save the lives of those two girls?Well, at least there's one less black man in the world, right?You can comfort yourself like this, one less nigger. She stood up, looked at the chair, and kicked it against the wall with a flying kick.The chair bounced back and landed in the middle of the spilled cups and dishes.I grabbed her wrist and she flung herself free. Don't touch me, she said, by this time next week you're a murderer, no different than that Wharton, don't touch me. She went out and stood on the landing, with her face in her apron, and began to sob.The four of us looked at each other.After a while, I stood up and started packing up.Boot came to help first, and then Harry and Dean joined in.When the place looked more or less restored, they were gone.No one said a word during the whole process.There is really nothing more to say. Chapter Six I rested that night.Sitting in the living room of my cottage, smoking and listening to the radio, I watched the darkness rise from the ground and engulf the sky.The TV is fine, I have nothing against it, but I just don't like the fact that it draws attention away from the world around it to its glass surface, and the radio beats it at least in that regard. Janice came in, knelt down beside my armchair, and took my hand.For a while neither of us spoke, just sat there and listened to Kay.Kaiser music knowledge program, watching the stars appear one by one.I think that's fine. I'm sorry, I shouldn't call you a coward, she said, I've never said anything like that to you since I was married, and I feel terrible. That time we went camping you didn't count if you called me Stinky Sam?I asked her, and then we both laughed, kissed each other once or twice, and made up again.My Janice, she was so beautiful, I still see her in my dreams.Even though I am old and tired of life now, I still hope to see her in my dreams walking into this lonely forgotten place, where the corridors smell of urine and rotten cabbage. I dream that she is still young. Beautiful, blue eyes, high breasts, I just don't want to take my hands off.I hope she says, well, honey, I didn't have that car accident.You got it wrong, really.I still have this dream to this day, and sometimes I wake up and realize it was a dream and cry, which I never cried when I was young. Does Haier know?she asked at last. Know John is innocent?I don't understand how he could know. Can he help?Can he exert influence over Cribbs? Not at all, dear. She nodded, as if she had expected it, then don't tell him, if he can't help, then don't tell him, for God's sake. Will not. She raised her face and looked at me with firm eyes. You won't ask for sick leave that night, none of you will, you can't ask for leave? Yes, leave is not allowed.At least it can be done a little faster if we're there.That's the most.Not like Deraclot.For a split second (fortunately, only a split second), I seemed to see the silk mask on Del's face was riddled with holes, revealing two boiled jellylike objects, his eyeballs. There's no other way for you, is there?She took my hand and wiped it on her velvety face, poor Paul, poor thing. I said nothing.Never in my life have I wished so much to get away from something and just take Janice, just the two of us, and a duffel bag, and go anywhere. Poor guy, she repeated, and then said, talk to him. who?John? Yes, talk to him and ask him what wishes he has. I thought about it and nodded.She was right, she was always right. Chapter VII Two days later, on the eighteenth, Bill.Dodge, Hank.Bittman, and I don't remember who it was, it was a temporary one anyway, and together they took John.Coffee took him to Block D to take a shower, and while he was away, we rehearsed the execution.We didn't have Doo Doo as John, we didn't even mention it, everyone knew it was sacrilege to use him. I will play. I sit on the electric buddy and buckle the clamps.Boot said in a trembling voice: John.Coffee, you were sentenced to death by electric chair, this verdict was passed by a jury of people like you and John.People like Coffee?What are you kidding?As far as I know, there is no one like him on this planet.Then I remembered what John said as he stood at the bottom of the steps leading to my office, looking at the electric guy: They're still there, I hear them shouting. Get me out, I yelled hoarsely, undo these buttons and let me stand. They unbuttoned it, but for a moment I felt like I was frozen there, as if the electric guy wouldn't let me get up. When we turned around and walked towards the E area, Bout said to me: I have done several things in my life that I feel ashamed of, but this is the first time I feel that I may really fall into hell.He spoke in a low voice so that Dean and Harry, who were clearing chairs behind him, could not hear him. I looked at him, wondering if he was joking.I realize he's serious, what do you mean? I mean, we were about to kill a gift of God, he said, and he never hurt us or anyone else.When I finally stood before God Almighty and He asked me why I did what I did, what did I say?That's what I do?Just do this? chapter eight John came back from the shower, the helpers were gone, and I opened his cell, went in, sat on the bed, and sat next to him.Bout was sitting at the duty desk.He looked up and saw that I had entered the cell alone, but he didn't say anything, and turned his attention back to some document in his hand, looking at it and licking the tip of the pencil. John looked at me with very strange eyes: bloodshot eyes, a little indifferent, with tears faintly visible, but still very calm, it seems that crying is not a bad way of life, and there is nothing wrong with getting used to it.He even smiled.I remember that he smelled of Ivory soap, like a baby just bathed at night, with a fresh fragrance. Hello, boss, he said, holding out his hands and taking mine.His move was extremely natural, without any affectation. Hello John.Something is stuck in my throat and I try to swallow it.I think you understand that the time has come.After two or three days. He didn't say a word, just sat there holding my hand.Now that I think about it, something started to happen to me, but I was too mentally and emotionally focused on what I had to do to feel it. John, do you have anything special for dinner that night?Whatever you want to eat, we can always do it.There is also a beer for you if you want, it just has to be poured into a coffee mug, that's all. I'm not picky, he said. Is there anything in particular you want to eat? His eyebrows were raised high, reaching below the top of his clean-shaven brown skull.Then, the wrinkles disappeared, he laughed, and the sandwich would do. Then sandwiches, with gravy and puree.My heart tightened, as if I had pressed my arms while sleeping on my side. The difference was that this time, the squeezing feeling spread throughout my body and into my body. What else should I add? I don't know, boss.I think, add whatever you want.Maybe some pods, but I'm not picky. Well, as I was talking, it occurred to me that maybe I could get JaniceMrs. Edgecombe made him some peach cobbler for dessert. What about the vicar?Find someone who can say a few prayers to you the night after tomorrow?Saying prayers can calm people down. I have seen it many times.I can go to Reverend Schuster who gave Del No priests, John said, and you've been good to me, sir.Come and say the prayers if you want.that's it.I thought, I could kneel down. I!john i can't He squeezed my hand a little harder, and the feeling in my body became more obvious, you can, he said, right, boss? I think so, I heard myself say.There seems to be an echo in my voice, and if that's the case, I think I can. The feeling in the body was very strong, just like the last time he treated my urinary tract problem, but it was a little different.It's not because there's nothing wrong with me this time, but because he didn't realize he was doing this this time.Suddenly, I felt so scared that I almost wanted to leave the place quickly.A light inside me that had never been lit suddenly lit up, not only in my head, but all over my body. You and Mr. Howe and the other bosses have been good to me, John.Coffee said, I know you've been worried, but stop worrying now, because I want to go, boss. I tried to speak, but couldn't.But he can.What he said next was the longest I've ever heard him say. Boss, I'm really tired of the pain I hear and feel.I'm tired of wandering the high roads all day, lonely as a bird in the rain.No friends were with me to tell me where we came from, where we were going, and why.I'm tired of people you hate me I hate you.I felt like my head was full of shards of glass.I'm tired of trying to help every time I can't help.I don't want to be in the dark anymore.I was miserable most of the time.Too much pain.If I could get this over with, I would.But I can't do it. Stop it, I tried to say that.Stop talking, let go of my hand, if you don't let go, I will drown, or I will explode if I don't drown. You won't explode, he said with a small smile but let go of my hand. I leaned forward, gasping for air.Through the gap between my knees I can see every crevice, every groove, every glimmer of mica in the concrete floor.I looked up at the wall and saw the names of 1924, 1920, 1931 written there.Those names have actually been washed away long ago. Speaking of which, the people who wrote these names have long since ceased to exist, but I think that anything can never be completely cleared away, it is impossible to completely disappear from this dark world, and Now I see them again, a mass of overlapping names, and I look at them as if I were listening to the dead talking, singing, crying out for mercy.I felt my eyeballs pulsating in their sockets, heard my heart beating wildly, and felt the blood rushing through the channels in my body, like letters being delivered everywhere. I heard a train whistle in the distance, and I think it was the three-fifty train to Pressford, though I couldn't be sure because I'd never heard it before.Not since Cold Mountain, because the nearest train station to the state penitentiary was fifteen miles to the east.Everyone would say there's no way I'd hear a train from here at the state penitentiary, and I didn't think so until November of 1932, but I did hear it that day. Somewhere, a light bulb burst with a sound like an explosion. what did you do to meI whispered, John, what have you done to me? I'm sorry, boss, he said calmly, I didn't mean to, I thought, I didn't think too much, you'll feel normal soon. I stood up and walked to the door of the cell, as if sleepwalking.When I got there, he said: You can't think of a reason why they didn't yell, and that's the only thing you're still thinking about, is it?Why didn't the two girls shout when they were still on the porch? I turned and looked at him.I can see every thread of blood in his eyes, I can see every pore on his face and I can feel the hurt and the pain he sucks out of other people like a sponge.I can also see that darkness he just mentioned.The world in his eyes filled with darkness filled all the space. Thinking of this, I feel both sympathy for him and relief for him.Yes, what we are going to do is a terrible thing, no matter what, we can't change that but at the same time we are helping him achieve his wish. I knew it when the bad guy grabbed my arm, said John, and that's when I knew he did it.I saw him that day, I hid in the bushes, I saw him leave the girl and run away, but You forgot, I said. That's right, boss, didn't remember until he grabbed me. John, why don't they shout?He almost made them bleed, their parents were upstairs, why didn't they scream? John looked at me with confusion in his eyes, and he said to one of them, you have to shout, I won't kill you, I will kill your sister.He said the same thing to the other, understand? Got it, I almost whispered.I saw it, I saw Detrick's porch in the dark.Wharton leaned over like a corpse-stealer.One of the girls was probably crying when Wharton punched her and she had a nosebleed.Most of the blood on the porch was it. He killed them with their love, John said, their mutual love.Do you understand what's going on? I nodded, but couldn't speak. He laughed, and the tears flowed again, but he was smiling, and it happened every day, he said, everywhere in the world.After speaking, he lay down and turned his face to the wall. I set foot on the Green Mile, locked the cell, and went to the duty desk.I still feel like I'm sleepwalking. I realized I could hear Boot thinking, a very faint voice asking how to spell a certain word, receive, I think it was the word.He was thinking, i always comes before e, unless i comes after c, is this a mess?He looked up, smiled, and when he saw me standing in front of him, the smile disappeared again, Paul, he asked, are you all right? fine.I then told him what John had told me, not all of it, and certainly not the effect his touch had on me (I never said it, not to Janice; if Elaine康乃利讀完全稿的其他部分後還想讀最後幾頁，她就是第一個知道此事的人），但是我重複了約翰想去了的願望。這句話似乎讓布特稍感寬慰，反正多少有點寬慰，但我感覺到（還是聽到？）他在想，我是不是故意編出來讓他安心的。然後我感覺到他決定打定主意相信我的話，因為這麼做可以使他到時候心裡好受些。 保羅，你那個感染又復發了嗎？他問道，你臉上一片潮紅啊。 沒有，我沒事的，我說。事實並非如此，但我已肯定約翰沒說錯，我會沒事的。我覺得那陣感覺正開始消退。 不管怎樣，你去自己辦公室躺一會總沒壞處。 躺一會是我當時最不願做的事情，這建議太滑稽，我差點沒笑出來。 我真想做的事情也許是為自己造一幢小屋，鋪上木瓦，在屋後開上一個小花園，種上花草。一切在晚飯前完成。 就這麼回事，我想道。天天如此。全世界如此。Darkness.遍及全世界。 我到管理大樓去一趟，查點東西。 Go ahead. 我走到門口，打開門，然後扭頭看看，你對了，我說，r︱e︱c︱e︱i︱v︱e，i在e之前，i只在c後面，反正大多數情況下是這樣。不過，我想，凡是規則總有例外。 那晚當班剩下的時間裡，我來回走動，坐不到五分鐘又站起身來。我去了趟管理大樓，在那裡空無一人的操練場上走來走去，直到塔樓裡的衛兵覺得我發了瘋。但到下班時，我開始平靜下來，腦子裡像樹葉沙沙般的紛亂思緒也大半安靜了下來。 那天凌晨，在回家的半路上，那感覺又回來了，攪得厲害，就像我的尿路感染。我不得不把車停到路邊，跳下車，快跑了半英里路，我低著頭，胳膊上下晃動，一喘一喘的，滾燙的呼吸就像胳膊下夾著什麼東西。跑到最後，我終於感覺恢復了正常。我往回小跑了半程，走了半程，回到了停車的地方，呼吸在寒冷的夜間化成團團霧氣。回到家中，我告訴珍妮絲，約翰．考菲說他準備好了，說他想去。她點點頭，看上去鬆了口氣。Is that true?我說不準。六小時之前，甚至三小時前，我會知道，但到了那時候，我說不上了。這樣也不錯。約翰一直說他累了，現在我明白他為什麼這麼說。他所過的生活，任何人都會累垮的，任何人都會盼望休息，盼望平靜。 珍妮絲問我為什麼臉紅紅的，一身臭汗，我告訴她我回家路上停了車，跑了一會步，跑得很猛。我只告訴了她這些，但沒說原因，正如我也許說過的（寫到這裡已經有好多頁了，我不想再翻回去查證了），自結婚以來，謊我是不說的。 她也沒問原因。 Chapter nine 輪到約翰．考菲走綠里的那天晚上沒有下雷雨，倒是當地那段時間（我想，那是三〇年代）相當涼爽宜人的一夜，千萬顆星星劃過天際，農田耗盡了地力，莊稼收割完畢，籬笆樁頂蒙上了一層白霜，亮閃閃的，像套在七月玉米乾枯枝頭上的鑽石。 這一次是布魯特斯來主持，由他來套頭罩，時間一到就命令范哈伊合開關。十一月二十日當晚十一點二十左右，迪恩、哈利和我一起走進牢房，約翰．考菲坐在床頭，雙手抱膝，藍色囚服衣領上沾著一小塊夾肉麵包的油漬。他透過鐵欄看著我們，看上去，他神情比我們想像的要平靜得多。我雙手冰冷，太陽穴直跳。知道他願意去死是一回事，這至少使我們有可能去完成任務，但我們還明白，是別人犯了殺人罪，我們卻要把他送上電椅，這就完全是另一回事了。 當晚七點左右我最後一次見到海爾．Moss.他在自己的辦公室，正扣著外衣紐扣。他臉色蒼白，手索索直抖，怎麼都扣不好。我差點想一把推開他的手指，親自上去幫他扣一下，就像大人對小孩所做的那樣。諷刺的是，上週末詹恩和我去看瑪琳達時，瑪琳達的氣色，都要比執行約翰．考菲死刑那晚早些時候的海爾好一些。 我不看這次的執行了，他說，柯蒂斯會在場，而且我知道，有你和布魯特斯在，考菲不用擔心了。 是，長官，我們盡力而為，我說，波西有什麼消息嗎？他還會回來嗎？當然，這才是我想問的。他現在是不是坐在什麼地方的一處房間裡，告訴什麼人很可能是醫生說我們給他綁上了約束衣，把他像問題兒童（用波西的話來說就是白痴）一樣扔進禁閉室？如果是這樣，人們會相信他嗎？ 但據海爾說，波西還那樣，一言不發的，而且大家都覺得，他似乎已不在這個世界上生活了。他還在印地安諾拉，接受檢查，海爾就這麼說的，說這句話時神祕兮兮的，但如果情況不見任何好轉，很快會讓他轉院。 考菲情緒怎樣？海爾當時問道。他終於扣上了大衣上最後一顆紐扣。 我點點頭，典獄長，他好的很。 他也點點頭，走到門邊，顯得蒼老、痛苦，如此的善良和如此的凶惡怎麼能合在同一個人身上呢？治好了我妻子的人怎麼可能去殺那兩個小姑娘呢？你弄明白了嗎？ 我告訴他我也不明白，上帝的行動向來神祕而不可知，該發生什麼，不該發生什麼，不是我們可以去探究的。我對他說的主要內容，都是我在讚美耶穌、上帝萬能教會裡聽來的，海爾一直在點頭，看上去有些激昂。 點頭他還是能做到的，不是嗎？而且，還情緒高昂。可他臉上卻顯露出深深的悲傷，他受到了震動，肯定是這樣，但此時沒有眼淚，因為他回到家裡還有妻子，還有伴侶，他妻子安然無恙了。Thanks to John.考菲，她病好了，康復了，在約翰死刑執行令上簽了字的這個人可以下班回家見她了。他不必觀看接下來發生的事情。他可以在妻子溫暖的懷抱裡度過今晚，而約翰．考菲則得躺在縣醫院地下室的石板地面上，身體漸漸冷去，沒有朋友，無話可說，等待著時間一分一秒走向黎明。就因為這些，我恨海爾。 有那麼一點恨，但已經過去了，可那真的是恨，千真萬確的恨。 這時，我走進牢房，迪恩和哈利跟在後面，兩人都臉色蒼白，垂頭喪氣。準備好了嗎，約翰？I asked. 他點點頭，是的，頭兒，我想是的。 那好，出去之前我還有話說。 你該說什麼說什麼，頭兒。 John.考菲，作為法庭官員 我一口氣說到頭，說完，哈利．特威利格向前一步，站到我身邊，伸出手。約翰一開始有點吃驚，然後笑了，握了握他的手。迪恩的臉色更加蒼白，隨後也伸出了手，你不該受這個的，他嗓音嘶啞，真對不起。 我沒事的，約翰說，現在是最難受的時候，一會兒就好了。他站起身，瑪莉給他的聖克里斯多福銀飾從襯衫裡晃了出來。 約翰，那東西得給我，我說，我可以再放回到你脖子上，如果你願意，但得等到，現在得讓我拿著。掛飾是銀的，如果傑克．范哈伊推上開關後它還貼在皮膚上，就可能把它融化滲進皮膚裡，而且即使不融化，它也會放電，在約翰的胸口留下一處焦黑的烙印。我在綠里上的那些年，差不多什麼都見過。見得太多，害了自己。現在我明白了。 他從脖子上取下鏈子，放在我手心。我把它放進衣袋，讓他走出牢房。沒必要檢查他的頭顱以確保接觸良好，導電順暢，他的腦袋和我的掌心一樣光滑。 知道嗎，今天下午我睡著時做了個夢，頭兒，他說，我夢見了德爾的老鼠。 真的，約翰？我站在他左邊，哈利站在右邊，迪恩在身後，我們就這樣走上了綠里。對我來說，這是我最後一次押著犯人走在綠里上。 對，他說，我夢見牠去了霍韋頭兒說的那個地方，那個老鼠莊園。我夢見那裡有孩子，看牠玩把戲開心得直笑！God!說到這裡他自己都笑了起來，然後又變得認真了，我夢見那兩個金髮小姑娘也在那裡，她們也在笑呢。我抱住她們，她們的頭髮裡沒有流血，她們很好。我們都看叮噹先生推線軸，我們笑得真開心，肚子都要笑破了，頭兒。 real?我覺得我聽不下去了，真不行了，沒法聽下去。我快要哭出來、喊出來，不然我難過得心要碎了，一切都完結。 我們一起走到我辦公室。約翰四下張望一下，沒等命令就跪了下來。 他身後的哈利眼神淒慘地看著我，迪恩面如紙灰。 我在約翰身邊跪下，覺得此時出現的轉變真有點可笑：我這輩子幫過多少囚犯，使他們有勇氣走完這段路程，這一次我自己倒需要人幫助了。 反正這就是我當時的感覺。 頭兒，我們要祈禱什麼？John asked. 勇氣，我想都沒想就答道。我閉上眼睛說：我主上帝，請幫助我們完成已經開始的事情吧，約翰．考菲，他的名字聽起來像那種飲料但拼寫不同，請歡迎此人進入天堂並賜他安寧。請幫助我們用他應得的方式送他上路，不要出任何差錯。Amen.我睜開眼睛，看看迪恩和哈利，兩人看上去好了一些。也許是因為有時間喘口氣了，但我覺得是因為我的禱告。 我想要站起來，約翰拉住我的胳膊。他看著我，眼神中流露出怯意和希望，我想起了小時候別人教我的一段禱告，他說。至少我覺得我想起來了。能讓我唸一下嗎？ 你就放心唸吧，迪恩說，有得是時間，約翰。 約翰閉起眼睛，專注地皺起眉頭。我以為會聽到諸如現在我躺下睡覺，或其他什麼胡編的主禱文，但卻不是。他唸出來的禱告，我以前從未聽見，後來也再沒聽見過，這倒不是說那情感，那措辭，有什麼獨特之處。 John.考菲閉上眼，雙手伸向前方，唸道：聖嬰耶穌，溫順又溫柔，請為我這個孤兒祈禱。請給我力量，請做我的朋友，請陪我直到最後。Amen.他睜開眼睛，準備站起身，卻仔細端詳起我來。 我用胳膊擦了擦眼睛，邊聽他唸禱告，邊想起了德爾。德爾死前也希望再說一段禱告。聖母馬利亞，上帝之母，在我們將死之時，請為我們這些罪人祈禱。對不起，約翰。 別這樣，他說道。他掐著我的胳膊，笑了。接著，正如我所預料的，他拉我站了起來。 chapter Ten 現場見證人不多，大概共有十四個吧，其中一半曾經在處決戴拉克洛時來過這儲藏室的。霍默．克里布斯來了，他胖大的身軀像往常一樣墩坐在椅子上，不過我沒看見麥吉副治安官，顯然，他和莫斯典獄長一樣，決定缺席這一次了。 坐在前排的是一對人過中年的夫妻，一開始我沒認出來，儘管到十一月第三週的那天為止，我在好多報紙上見過他們的照片。後來，等我們走近放著電伙計的平臺時，那女的吐了口唾沫罵道，你這狗娘養的，就慢慢地死去吧！我這才意識到，那是戴特瑞克夫婦，克勞斯和馬喬里。我沒認出他們，是因為四十歲未到就老成這樣還真是很少見。 約翰聽見那女人的聲音，也聽見了治安官克里布斯表示同意的一聲咕噥，便向前縮了縮肩膀。Hank.比特曼擔任警戒，他站在為數不多的幾個目擊證人前，眼睛不離克勞斯．戴特瑞克一步。那是我的指示，不過當晚戴特瑞克沒朝約翰的方向動過半步，他似乎身在另一星球。 布特站在電伙計一邊，我們走上平臺時他悄悄對我擺了擺手指。 他把手槍插進槍套，拉住約翰的手腕，攙著他漫步朝電伙計走去，就像男孩子挽著戀人第一次以情侶的身分走進舞池跳舞。 約翰，一切都好嗎？他問話的聲音很低。 好的，頭兒，可是他的眼珠在眼眶裡來回轉動，第一次聽到他語調裡有害怕的意思。可是，這裡有好多人都恨我，好多呢。我能感覺到的，感覺到痛，就像給蜜蜂蜇了，很痛。 那就感覺一下我們的感受吧，布特用同樣低沉的聲音說道，我們一點不恨你，你能感覺到嗎？ 能的，頭兒。但他的聲音顫抖得更厲害了，眼睛裡也開始慢慢滲出淚水。 小伙子們，讓他死兩回！馬喬里．戴特瑞克突然尖叫起來，這尖利刺耳的聲音就像一記巴掌。約翰身子一縮靠在我身上，呻吟起來。就這麼幹，讓這強姦殺人犯死上兩回！克勞斯依然像個在做白日夢的人，他一把把妻子拉到自己身邊，她則抽泣了起來。 我很沮喪地發現，哈利．特威利格居然也在流淚。還好，觀眾中沒人知道他在哭，因為他背對著他們，但他的確是在哭。我們還能怎麼辦？我的意思是，除了趕緊辦完事，還能怎樣？ 布特和我讓約翰轉過身來。布特往大塊頭一邊肩膀上一按，他坐下去，抓住電伙計的胡桃木把手，眼睛來回轉動，伸出舌頭，先舔舔一邊嘴角，再舔舔另一邊嘴角。 哈利和我跪下身。John.考菲的腳踝差不多有普通人的腓骨那麼粗大，所以一天前，我們讓一家模範店（註：專為監獄提供各種服務的比較可靠的店鋪。）來給電椅的腳扣焊上一節臨時加長環。有那麼一會兒，我認為可能還不夠長，十分的擔心，因為那樣一來，我們就得把他送回牢房，再去找當時的店主山姆．布羅德里克，讓他再加焊一截。我用手掌狠勁一推，我這邊的搭扣扣上了。約翰的腿一陣痙攣，他倒吸了口氣。我夾痛他了。 對不起，約翰，我喃喃道，朝哈利瞥了一眼。他倒沒太費事就把搭扣扣上了（或許是他那邊的扣絆長一些，也許是約翰的右腳踝略細一些），但他看著鎖上的搭扣的神情卻疑慮重重。我想我知道其中原委：加焊過的搭扣看上去猙獰可怖，張大的鉗口就像鱷魚的嘴巴一般。 會沒事的，我說道，希望自己的話能說服他，希望他能相信我說的是真話，哈利，擦擦臉。 他用胳膊一抹，抹去面頰上的汗水和前額上的粒粒汗珠。我倆轉過身去。霍默．克里布斯剛才還一直在高聲和坐在身邊的男子（從他細細的領帶和暗黑的外衣來看，他就是公訴人）談得起勁，一下就住了口。The time is almost up. 布特夾上了約翰的一個手腕，迪恩夾上了另一個。我越過迪恩的肩膀看去，看見醫生靠著牆，一如既往地縮在一邊，黑口袋放在他兩腿之間。我想，現在的醫生差不多都會急趕著把自己的事做完，特別是打靜脈點滴的。但我那時候，要醫生到前面來時得大聲喊。也許那時候他們心裡很清楚，醫生該怎麼做，而什麼樣的行為是違背諾言的，即他們絕不害人的誓言。 迪恩朝布特點點頭。布特扭過頭去，似乎想瞥一眼那臺根本不可能為約翰這樣的人響起來的電話機，他對傑克．范哈伊喊道：開一檔！ 那陣嗡嗡聲又來了，就像舊冰箱在啟動，燈光更明亮了些。我們的身影也顯得更加清晰，暗黑的陰影爬在牆上，似乎像禿鷹在電椅的影子周邊盤旋。約翰猛吸了口氣，指關節發白。 已經讓他難受了嗎？戴特瑞克太太嘶啞的尖叫聲從她丈夫肩頭處響起。但願是的！我要他生不如死啊！她丈夫使勁掐了她一下。我看見，他的一個鼻孔在流血，一縷細細的紅色淌下來，消失在那一抹稀疏的鬍子裡。次年三月，我從報紙上讀到他死於心臟病的消息，我差不多是這世界上最不感到驚訝的人了。 布特走到約翰眼前。他邊輕拍著約翰的肩膀，邊說起話來。這舉動是違反常規的，但在見證人席上，只有柯蒂斯．安德森明白這一點，而他似乎根本沒注意到。我覺得他就像一個只想著趕緊把眼下的差事做完的人。不顧一切地幹完它。珍珠港事件後他參了軍，但沒能去成海外，他死於福特布拉格跟卡車相撞的一次車禍。 這時候，約翰在布特手指的輕叩下情緒開始放鬆。我覺得，布特在對他講的話，他能聽懂的並不多，但布特放在他肩膀上的手，著實讓他感到些許寬慰。布特在二十五年後離世（他妹妹說，他是邊吃魚排三明治邊看電視轉播的摔跤比賽時死的），他是個好人，也許是我們幾個中最好的。他完全能理解，一個希望離開世界的人，仍然會對這趟旅行恐懼萬分。 John.考菲，你被判電椅死刑，本判決由和你一樣的民眾組成的陪審團通過，經本州有威望的法官批准執行。上帝保佑本州人民。你在判決執行之前還有話要說嗎？ 約翰再次舔舔嘴唇，然後一字一句地說了六個字：我為自己難受。 你活該難受！兩個死去的小姑娘的母親叫喊著，你這個惡魔，你就該難受！你他媽的活該難受！ 約翰的目光轉向我。我在這目光中看不見順從的神情，看不見對天堂的希望，看不見安寧在降臨。我多麼想告訴你我看見了這一切，我多麼想這樣告訴我自己。我看見的是害怕、悲慘、破碎和迷惘。這是身落陷阱滿懷恐懼的野獸的眼神。我想起他講到華頓把柯拉和凱絲姐妹弄下門廊而沒把屋內大人吵醒的原因：他利用她倆的愛殺了她們。每天的情況都這樣。到處一樣。 布特從椅背的掛鉤上取下新面罩，但約翰一見就明白是怎麼回事，兩眼因恐懼而睜得老大。他朝我看看，此時，我看見他光溜溜的腦殼上滲出了巨大的汗珠，看上去有知更鳥蛋那麼大。 頭兒，請不要把那東西放在我臉上，他呻吟著悄悄說，請不要把我放在黑處，別讓我到暗處去，我害怕黑暗。 布特看看我，眉毛揚起，停滯了，手裡拿著面罩。他眼神的意思是該我發話了，他反正怎麼都行。我思緒飛快地轉著，而且盡可能別出差錯，可我腦袋裡砰砰直響，要不出差錯還真不容易。戴面罩是這裡的傳統，並非法律規定。事實上是為見證人考慮。突然間，我覺得這次不需要為他們考慮。反正約翰一生沒做過任何該戴面罩去死的事情。見證人不知道，但我們知道，我決定同意他最後這次請求。至於馬喬里．戴特瑞克，她也許還會因此而給我寄張感謝卡呢。 好吧，約翰，我喃喃道。 布特把面罩放了回去。從我們身後傳來了霍默．克里布斯憤懣而嘶啞的聲音：嘿，伙計！給他戴上面罩！想要我們看他的眼珠子爆出來啊？ 別吵，先生，我頭都沒回地說道，這是在執行死刑，不由你負責。 你連抓他都沒負責，你這腦滿腸肥的傢伙，哈利悄聲說道。哈利是一九八二年死的，死時快八十了，年事還算高。當然和我不能比，不過能和我比的幾乎沒有。他死於某種腸癌。 布特彎下腰，把海綿塊從桶裡拽了出來。他用一根手指壓進去，舔舔指尖，不過他其實不必這麼做的，我早看見那噁心的棕色液體在往下滴。他把海綿塞進頭罩，把頭罩套到約翰頭上。這時候我第一次看見布特的臉色也變得慘白，麵糊似的白，人幾乎要暈過去了。我想起他說過，他有生以來第一次感到要下地獄了，因為我們是在殺死上帝送來的禮物。我突然感到一種強烈的要嘔吐的感覺。我忍住了，但是用了很大的努力。海綿裡的水正順著約翰兩邊臉頰往下滴。 Dean.史丹頓把皮帶放到了最長的限度，綁住約翰的胸部，把另一端交給我。那天晚上，我們竭力想保護迪恩，因為他有小孩，可我們並不知道他只有四個月好活。John.考菲的事情完結後，他申請調動離開電伙計，並獲得了批准，去了C區，那裡的一個囚犯用釘子刺穿了他的喉嚨，一腔鮮血灑在骯髒的地板上。我一直不知道其中原委，我覺得誰都不會知道。回想起那些日子，電伙計真像一件乖戾的玩意，要人命的東西。而我們，即使在最好的情況下也像玻璃器皿一般脆弱。我們難道不是在憑著冷血心腸，用電和毒氣相互殘殺？真愚蠢啊，太可怕了。 布特檢查了一下皮帶是否扣好，退後一步。我等他開口，可他就是不說。他雙手交叉放在背後，以隊列操稍息的姿勢站著，我明白他是不會開口了，也許是無法開口。我覺得我也開不了口，但我看見約翰充滿恐懼和淚水的眼睛，我明白不開口也得開口了。哪怕要永久下地獄，我也得開口。 打開二檔，我的嗓音嘶啞粗糙，幾乎聽不出是自己的聲音。 頭罩嗡嗡地轟鳴起來。八根長長的手指和兩根拇指從電椅的胡桃木扶手末端伸展開來，緊繃著朝不同方向伸去，指尖顫抖。兩個膝蓋雖然被綁住了，仍然看得出在掙扎的樣子，不過腳踝上的搭扣沒鬆開。頭頂上的三個燈泡啪！Snapped!Snapped!地炸裂了。馬喬里．戴特瑞克一聲尖叫，暈倒在丈夫的懷裡。十八年後，她在孟菲斯去世。哈利把訃告寄給了我。她死於電車交通事故。 約翰上身向前一衝，撞擊著緊繃的胸帶。那一瞬間，他的目光與我的相遇了。那目光還有意識，在我們把他推下世界邊緣的時候，我是他看見的最後一樣東西。隨後，他身子往後一仰，頭上的罩子稍稍歪了一點，一股像點著了木炭般的青煙從罩子下冒了出來。不過總的來說，進行得很快。我不知道他死時是否真的沒有痛苦，就像支持使用電椅的人們一向聲稱的那樣（甚至他們當中最激烈支持的人似乎也從未想過要去調查一下是否真的無痛苦），不過過程很快。那雙手再次癱了下去，指甲底部先前呈藍白色的月牙形部分，現在已是一片茄紫，兩邊面頰上升起細細的煙霧，臉上依然流淌著從海綿上滴下的鹽水還有他的眼淚。 John.考菲最後的眼淚。 Chapter Eleven 直到回家之前，我還算一切正常。到家已是天亮時分，鳥兒也開始鳴唱了。我停好那輛破車，鑽出車子，走上後門的臺階，這時候，有生以來的第二次巨大悲哀湧了上來。那是因為我想起了他曾經那麼懼怕黑暗，記得第一次和他見面時，他問我是否可以在晚上留盞燈亮著。我兩腿一軟，癱坐在臺階上，頭枕著膝蓋，哭了起來。這哭泣似乎不僅為約翰，也是為我們所有人。 珍妮絲出來坐在我身邊，一隻胳膊摟住了我。 你們盡量沒讓他受罪，是嗎？ I nod. 他的確願意去了。 I nod. 進屋去吧，她說著把我扶了起來。這使我想起和約翰一起禱告後他扶我起來的情形。進屋喝杯咖啡吧。 我進去了。過了第一天上午，過了第一天下午，接著是第一個輪班。 時間掌控著一切，不管你是否願意。時間掌控一切，時間消磨一切，到頭來，只有黑暗。有時候，我們在那片黑暗中發現了什麼人，有時候，我們又在黑暗中失去他們。我所知道的就是這些，另外就是：這一切發生在一九三二年，當時州立監獄還在冷山。 當然啦，還有電椅。 Chapter Twelve 下午兩點一刻左右，我的朋友伊蓮．康乃利來日光室看我，把我給她的那疊稿紙理得整整齊齊，放在我面前。她臉色非常蒼白，眼睛下方有一些閃亮的痕跡。我想她是哭過了。 至於我，我一直在眺望。就這樣，眺望著窗外東邊的山坡，右手手腕突突跳個不停。不過，不知為何，這跳動很安詳。我覺得空虛，覺得被剝去了虛飾。這種感覺，既可怕又奇妙。 很難正視伊蓮的目光，我害怕從中看到憤恨和蔑視，不過還好。她的眼神悲哀而迷惘，沒有憤恨，沒有蔑視，沒有懷疑。 你要把故事看完嗎？我邊問邊用隱隱作痛的手輕拍著那一小疊稿紙，在這兒，不過我能理解，如果你不 這不是我要不要的事，她說，我要知道到底怎麼了，儘管我想，你們無疑是處死了他。我看，在普通人生命中，說什麼帶大寫字母P的Providence（註：指上帝的旨意。）會時時顯現，這顯然是言過其實了。但是，保羅，在我拿起這幾頁稿紙前 她沒往下說，似乎自己也不明白要說什麼。I am waiting.有時候，你是無法給別人幫助的。有時候，甚至最好連試都別試。 保羅，你這裡好像說你在一九三二年就有了兩個成年的孩子，不是一個，是兩個。如果你不是在十二歲時和你的年方十一歲的珍妮絲結婚的話，這樣的事情 我微微笑了，我們結婚時還年輕，許多山裡人都這樣，我自己的母親就是，不過沒那麼年輕。 那你現在多大歲數了？我一直以為你剛八十出頭，和我差不多，說不定還小一點呢，可是這樣算起來 約翰走綠里那年我四十歲，我說，我一八九二年出生。現在是一百零四歲了，除非我算錯了。 她看著我，目瞪口呆。 我把剩下的手稿遞給她，又一次想起約翰觸摸我的情形，就在他牢房裡。當時他說，你不會完蛋的，說著還笑了，我的確沒完蛋可我身上還是發生了一些情況，它們伴隨了我一生。 把剩下的讀完吧，我說，我的答案全在那裡。 好吧，她幾乎在耳語，我是有點害怕，這我不能撒謊，但是好吧。你會在哪裡？ 我站起身，伸展一下，聽見背上的脊椎嘎嘎直響。現在我唯一能肯定的事情就是：我已經煩透了日光室。在槌球場，我還有樣東西要給你看，就在那個方向。 那東西很嚇人嗎？從她怯怯的眼神中，我看到了還是小姑娘時候的她，那時候，男人夏天戴著硬草帽，冬天穿著鱷魚皮外套。 不，我笑著說，一點不嚇人。 Well.她拿起那疊稿紙，我把這些帶回自己房間去。到時候我去槌球場找你，大概在她翻翻稿紙，估計了一下，四點？OK? 很好，我說著想起了那個好奇心極重的布拉德．多蘭，那時候他已經下班走了。 她伸出手，輕輕捏了下我的胳膊，離開了屋子。我一動不動站了一會兒，看著桌面，意識到，我那些亂七八糟的稿紙一走，桌子又空了，除了早晨時伊蓮送來的早餐盤。但不知怎麼的，我覺得我沒有把東西全寫完你看，所有這些都是我在處決約翰．考菲之後記錄下的，而且最後一疊稿紙也給了伊蓮，但我沒寫完。即使在當時，我內心隱隱知道其中的原因阿拉巴馬。 我把盤子上最後一片冷吐司拿在手裡，下樓來到槌球場。我坐在陽光下，腦子裡轉著老人的思緒，聽任陽光溫暖著一身老骨頭，看著六七對打球人和一隊步履緩慢但興高采烈的四人組揮著球棒從我面前走過。 兩點四十五分，三點到十一點班的工作人員開始接二連三從停車場過來，三點時，白天班的人們離開了。大部分人都成群結隊，但我發現，布拉德．多蘭是獨自一人。這倒挺讓人開心的，也許，這世界畢竟還沒有全變成地獄。一本笑話書從他屁股後面的褲袋裡露出了一角。通往停車場的小路經過槌球場，所以他看見了我，但他既沒有朝我揮手，也沒有衝我板臉。我對此毫不在意。他鑽進那輛防撞