Chapter 6 Secret Two / The Power of Respect

The second name on the list is a girl named Milly.Dr. Hopkins' woman.She teaches psychology at City University.She was also the first woman to hold a professorship at the university.She was a very popular professor, loved and respected by students and colleagues alike.It was clear from the tone of her voice that she was overjoyed to have the young man's call and insisted on sitting down with him and having a chat.They made an appointment at five o'clock the next afternoon at Dr. Hopkins' office on the university campus. Despite her sixty-four years, Dr. Hopkins seemed to have the energy and enthusiasm of a college freshman.As soon as she mentioned the old Chinese, her voice immediately became more excited, so she seemed to be alive.She was a petite, good-looking woman in a white top and navy suit, with shoulder-length blond hair pulled back.Although there are many wrinkles on the face, the expression is warm and friendly.

I met an old Chinese person twenty years ago, and she said to young people: I was a completely different person at that time. I was addicted to drugs and lived on the streets. The young man was so shocked that his jaw almost dropped, he stammered unconsciously: Are you kidding me? This is real.She said it seriously, without any sign of shyness or embarrassment, I can't remember how many times I have been in and out of the hospital, each time I was sent to the hospital for an overdose, and then every time I came out of the hospital, I was immediately back on the street Go on, continue to take drugs, and the cycle continues like this.

Until one day, I was sent to the hospital for an enema, and then I woke up in the hospital bed, and a doctor was sitting next to me, holding my hand.He seemed very gentle and kind, and in the soft tone of his voice, I knew he really cared for me.In all my years of life, he was the first person to talk to me like this face to face, the first person to treat me like a human being.That's why I always remember this old Chinese man. We talked for a long time, and I told him things that I never told anyone: about my family, about my childhood, about my miserable life on the street, I told him everything.do you know?Just telling him these things already made me feel better.He said he had a few friends who could help me, so he gave me their names and phone numbers, and I contacted them all one by one.Thank goodness!I did this.They bring me back to life.

You mean the secret of love, right?asked the young man. Yes!The reason I want to learn these secrets is because I don't have love in my life and I don't love myself.This is why the second secret of love is especially important to me, and that is the power of respect. You see, back then I had no respect at all, never respected anyone or anything, and the same was true for me.There is no love without respect, so I don't love, and no one loves.do you know?If you want to love someone, you have to learn to respect that person first.And the first person you have to respect is yourself.Because if you don't know how to respect yourself, you can't love yourself; and how can a person who doesn't love himself love others?

While Millie was talking, the young man lowered his head to record from time to time. Milly went on: "That's my biggest problem. I don't love, I don't respect myself. why? I think it goes back to my childhood.Millie explained: "I was an illegitimate child and my mum got married when I was three.She sees me as a big disgrace, and my stepfather, I don't know why, he just hates me.I still remember when I was six years old, my mother hugged my half sister, I turned around feeling left out and ran away, and suddenly, someone pushed me hard from the back and made me roll fell down the stairs.I will never forget the face of my stepfather, standing on the steps, saying to me in a vicious way: She is now the mother of my children, you ugly ugly person that no one wants.

The young man couldn't believe his ears, he asked: What did your mother say? Say nothing!She continued to hug my sister as if I were air.Hard to believe, isn't it?How could there be such cruel parents?But I assure you, far too many people have suffered worse from their parents.雖然我不是經常這樣子被揍，可是我完全沒有得到父母的愛和關心。They were deliberate, I was ignored and rejected by my own family. I feel rejected and unloved, so I hate life.This kind of problem is very common, many people never respect themselves, they either don't like their appearance, or they don't like their voice, personality or intelligence, so they lose self-esteem and think that they are inferior to others.This is how I am!So before I hope to be loved by others, I must first learn to respect myself and love myself.

So how did you learn to respect yourself?The young man asked: I don't think it's easy, is it? Millie replied with a smile: Yes, it's not that easy, but it's still possible.We must learn to accept ourselves, to be grateful, and to let go of other people's malicious criticism of us.We must know that everyone and everything in the world has their place.We are all unique!do you know?There has never been, and there will be no one in this world who is exactly like you.This principle remains unchanged!Whether you are a man or a woman, rich or poor, black or white, every soul deserves respect.

There is a beautiful saying in Judaism: As long as someone saves one soul, he saves the whole world.It tells us that everyone is valuable, regardless of color, race or religion, everyone has the right to exist. In theory it is true, but in practice I am afraid it is not so optimistic.said the young man. Of course, I agree with your considerations, but it's not impossible.If I can, I'm sure anyone with a heart can too.There's only one problem, finding that which is worthy of respect in yourself and in others. What's the meaning?asked the young man. The structure of our brains is incredible, and even with all the advances in modern medicine, we still don't know much about what goes inside the human brain.One of the great functions of the brain is that the brain can answer any question you ask, although it sometimes finds the wrong answer, but no matter what, it will definitely give you an answer.

For example, if you ask yourself, what is worthy of my respect?Your mind will come up with the answer.In fact, old Chinese people once asked me this question seriously, and I said at first that I had nothing to respect or love.Then he said: I know, but if there was one, what do you think it would be?So, I just thought about it for a while.After thinking about it carefully, I finally came up with something.I know I'm smart, I've always been at the top of my class in school, and I admire myself for letting myself survive, even though I was in a desperate situation, but I never robbed or cheated or hurt anyone.Believe it or not, I actually don't hate myself so much when I think about it this way.

The young man raised his head buried in the notebook, looked at Dr. Hopkins and said: So, the way to find self-esteem is to ask yourself what is worthy of respect or love.is that so? Dr. Hopkins nodded. This method is indeed effective for me.I figured that if it helped me, it could help others as well.Because I believe that if you ask yourself: What is there in me to respect or love?Your brain will definitely help you find the answer. What if not? There must be.And a lot of times it's not the same, for example, you might feel like you're being honest and that's respectable; or you have a legitimate job; or you exercise regularly, it doesn't matter what.Over time, you can find a lot of respect for yourself.

It's also a good question, especially for those you don't like, you should ask yourself what is worthy of respect in them. Why?asked the young man. Because when you ask yourself this way, you will probably think of some good things about this person, instead of just noticing his annoying things.At this time, you will find that you become more able to treat them with love. Treat it with love, you mean Show them kindness and consider their position.Some people treat others in a bad way, always treating others as useless things.Dr. Hopkins continued: But the fact is that we all come from the same creator, we are all created by God, from another perspective, we are all born of the same mother, brothers and sisters!We must never underestimate the individuality of human beings. Everyone has the power to change the world, and the world is changing in different ways with each different person.When we can respect a person's true worth, we start to see them very differently. I remember when I was sleeping on the street, I woke up one night and found a policeman pissing on my face. What!The young man exclaimed, how could there be such a person in the world! He obviously just despises a bum like me, Dr. Hopkins said flatly: He doesn't take me personally at all.I'll never forget the way he stood before me laughing, it was just a joke to him. I believe that most of the problems in the world arise from a loss of respect for ourselves, for others, and for life.The result is a world without love.You can see this all over the world Arabs and Jews, whites and blacks, Christians and Catholics.If we can respect different beliefs, different beings, and we treat them equally with love, how can these things happen? Once we understand and appreciate our own worth, we begin to appreciate the worth of others and respect them, and when we have respect, we are able to love.For me, when I learn how to respect myself and love myself, I feel more comfortable with others, because I look at others with a respectful eye, and naturally, my attitude is It seems more tender, and I also feel that I am more able to love others. The young man smiled while taking notes.Sounds simple and makes sense, except that he'd never really thought about it before, how important respect is to creating love and loving relationships. Um, can you tell me how you went from a sleep-out bum to a college professor? Dr. Hopkins said with a smile: There is a nun on the list given to me by the old Chinese. She is really a wonderful person and has helped me a lot.She took me off the street and found me a place at a community church where the condition for me to live was that I had to do the cooking, cleaning, gardening, all the housework.And from day one, they welcomed me as their sister, as part of their family.They never thought of me as a bum, a drug addict, or a low class person.To them, I was just someone who needed help, and what they gave me was help.It was a whole new experience, and for the first time in my life, I felt needed. The nun also encouraged me to continue my studies.She said I had a natural mind and I should use it.do you know?No one has ever encouraged me like this!So, I went back to school and took classes in the evening department.Everyone in the church continued to inspire me in my efforts and seven years later I was awarded my first degree with honors.Two years later, I got my master's degree, and three years later, I got my doctorate. That day was the best and most memorable day of my life.All the sisters in the church showed up for my graduation, and when my name was called and I went up on stage to get my certificate, and then I turned around to face the auditorium with my certificate in hand, ah!I will never forget that moment!I saw more than 20 nuns stood up, applauded, whistled and cheered to me.Later, when I walked down the steps, I saw someone standing at the back of the auditorium. It was the old Chinese man. He raised his hands and clapped in the air, with a satisfied smile on his face. Later that day, the young man took him with Millie.Hopkins' talk sorted out: The Secret of Love II: The Power of Respect ●Until you know how to respect, you cannot love. ●The first person you must respect is yourself. ●The first step in gaining self-esteem is to ask yourself: What do I have that deserves my respect? ●How to respect others, especially those you don't like?The way to do it is to ask yourself what is there about them that I respect?