During her long and distinguished professional career, Bryony Asquith has been interviewed by countless newspapers and magazines. Almost every report describes her elegant and unique appearance, and inevitably mentions her dark hair. There is a very conspicuous touch of white in the hair. Reporters who often have good things repeatedly asked about the origin of this bunch of gray hair.She always gave a short answer with a smile on her face: it was the consequence of working overtime day and night for a period of time in her twenties.I didn't sleep for days on end and it just showed up and freaked out my poor maid.

At the time of the incident, Ebeni ​​was indeed not yet thirty years old, and she was indeed overworked due to work.And her maid was really freaking out too.However, like all good lies, this sentence also concealed an important element: a man. His name is Morio (Quentin Leonidas Marsden).She had known him from childhood, but had paid no attention to him until he came to London in the spring of 1893.Within a week of meeting again, she proposed.A month later they were married. From the very beginning, it was assumed that they were not compatible.The seventh Earl of Weedon had five handsome, well-loved and accomplished sons, and this youngest was the best of them all.When Beni married Leo, he was only twenty-four years old, but he had already published several papers at the London Mathematical Society, and had written plays that were staged at St. James's Theatre. He led an expedition to Greenland.

He is witty, he knows everything, and he is admired everywhere he goes.But she is taciturn, uninterested, and respected only in a certain small circle.In fact, the social circle was almost unanimous in its strong aversion to her profession, basically the fact that she had a job was enough to make the social circle disapproving.As a gentleman's daughter, she actually went to study medicine, and what's more, she went to work in the hospital every day like an ordinary shop assistant.Is this really necessary? Some couples can survive even if they are not a good match or are not favored.And yet their marriage ended badly, at least on her part.And he published another paper in the Mathematical Society; and published a well-received and well-received "Greenland Adventures", which received more praise than ever.

By the time they were married for a year, their relationship was already very bad.She barred the bedroom door to keep him out; and he, alas, she believed he would not content himself to sleep alone.They had long since ceased to have dinner together, or to speak to each other even when they saw each other occasionally. Such a marriage relationship could have lasted for decades, but a sentence he said woke her up and that sentence was not even said to her. It was a summer night, and she had been refusing to fulfill her conjugal obligations for more than four months.She got off work earlier than usual that day, and it was not midnight when she came home, because she had not closed her eyes for 70 hours in a row. I was busy studying with the microscope in the laboratory all the time.

She paid the taxi fare and stood outside her house, looking up, holding out a hand, palm up, wondering if it was raining.The night air smelled acrid with lightning.The thunder was already churning, and the sky lit up every few seconds, as if an angel was playing with a devil's matches. When she lowered her head, Leo stood in front of her, looking at her coldly. He literally made it hard for her to breathe, her lungs couldn't expand and contract smoothly because there was no air coming in.He aroused every trace of her greed, and countless desires were buried deep in every hidden corner of her heart.

If there is no one else present, they will definitely nod politely and then silently pass by each other.But Leo took a friend with him, a loud Mr. Wei, who enjoyed pampering Benny, even though pampering did nothing for her like vaccinating cement bricks. Mr. Wei told her that they were lucky at the table tonight, and that Leo was just pulling each finger of the glove carefully, as fastidious as a deranged valet.She looked at his hands, feeling heavy and heartbroken. Your words are so reasonable.What did you say, Mo?Mr. Wei asked. I said the good gambler approaches the table with his strategy and plan, Leo replied impatiently.A bad gambler knows nothing but anxious prayers and blind hopes.

She felt as if she had fallen from a great height, and at that moment saw her behavior fully.She is gambling.The gamble is this marriage, and the gamble is everything in her life.If he loved her, she should become as splendid and admirable as he was.To show those who never loved her how wrong they were. No!Mr. Wei yelled.What a wise saying. Old Wei, let Mrs. Mo go in and rest, Leo said.She must have been exhausted after a day of work on a noble mission. She glanced at him sharply.His eyes lifted from the glove.Even in such a dim light, he still exudes ultimate charm and brilliance.The spell he cast on her was so overwhelming that nothing could break it.

When he came to London in 1893, everyone fell in love with him instantly, including her maid.Then he should be merciful, and honestly laugh at her to her face, and tell her that no matter how rich her inheritance, a spinster doctor like her should not try to propose to the sun god.He should never, never should have just smiled and said: Speak, I am listening. Good night, Mr. Wei, she said.Good night, Mr. Mo. Two hours later, when the storm shook the shutters, she lay shivering in bed.She stayed in the bathtub for too long, and the water temperature became as cold as night. Leo, she thought, thinking the same thing every night.Leo, Leo, Leo.

She sat up suddenly, with an unprecedented understanding in her heart. It turned out that the act of repeating his name in this way was to condense anxious prayer and blind hope into one word.When did simple greed turn into attachment?When had he become her opium and morphine? She can bear many things. There are so many wives in the world who are mocked by their husbands. Aren't they living well with their heads held high?But she couldn't tolerate her own pathetic needs.She has seen too many addicted patients, madly in love with their beloved drug, aggravating their addiction with tenderness, even if even the last dignity is gone.She must never become that kind of person.

Leo was her drug.For him, she abandoned reason and judgment.Because without him, she couldn't eat or sleep.Even at this moment, her heart still drifts toward the little happiness she once shared with him, the all-encompassing joy, as if those pasts are still important, and even in the ruins of marriage, the light is still not extinguished. But what can I do to leave him and get relief?In just one year, she planned a lavish wedding because she wanted the world to know that he had chosen her over anyone else. Thunder rumbled, as if an artillery battle was taking place in the street.Everything in the house is dead and still.The stairs didn't creak, and the bedroom connected to her didn't move at all. She hadn't heard him make a sound for a long time.

Darkness swallowed her. She shook her head.As long as she didn't think about it, as long as she worked to the point of exhaustion every day, she could pretend that the marriage wasn't a total fiasco. But it is true.A complete fiasco, as cold as Greenland, and even as desolate. A bolt of lightning brings the inspiration for the solution.it's actually really easy.She had enough money to get a lot of lawyers to try to annul the consummated wedding, add a little deceit to say they weren't consummated, and that would make the marriage disappear altogether. Then she would be able to leave him, away from the single and biggest gamble of her life, away from the desolation of losing it all.Then she would be able to forget that she had been stabbed so badly in the heart, that everything between her and him was but a rotten disillusionment, as foul as an Indian malarial swamp.Then she was able to breathe. No, she can't do it.She cannot leave him.As long as he smiled, she was like walking on rose petals.She rarely allowed him to kiss her, but for hours after each kiss, everything tasted as sweet as milk. If she asked for an annulment of the marriage and it was done successfully, he would marry another, and that woman would be his wife, and bear him children of which Bernie knew she was barren. She should not be forgotten by him.She is willing to bear everything, just to stay by his side. She couldn't bear to be such a hopeless and trembling little thing. She loves him. She hated him, and she hated herself. She hugged her shoulders tightly and swayed back and forth, staring at the black shadow that refused to go away. When the maid came in the next morning, she was still sitting on the bed with her arms around her knees.Jasmine tidied up the room and opened the curtains and blinds to let the sunlight in. She poured out tea for Benny, and when she brought it to the bed, she suddenly let go of her hands, and the tray made a loud shattering sound when it fell to the ground. Oh madam, your hair.your hair! Bernie raised her eyes blankly.Jasmine rummaged around the room for a while, and came back with a hand mirror.Look, madam, look. For a person who hasn't closed his eyes for three days, Bernie thinks she looks passable.Then she saw the lock of white hair, about five centimeters wide, white as soda. The mirror fell from her hands. I'll get some silver nitrate for a stain, Molly said.Absolutely not. Don't use silver nitrate, said Bernie mechanically.Harmful to humans. Then use ferric sulfate.Otherwise I can also use ammonia to adjust the henna, but I'm not sure about the effect Well, go get ready, said Bernie. After Jasmine left, she focused on picking up the mirror again.She was strange and fragile, and her carefully hidden loneliness was revealed in a lock of white hair.She can't blame others.She can only blame herself, her desperate desires, her infatuation and delusions, she willingly risked everything for the happiness that her fanatical mind conjured up. She put down the mirror, put her hands on her knees, and rocked back and forth again.She had a few minutes before Molly would be rushing back with the dye, and soon she would have to arrange a meeting with him to discuss rationally and calmly how to annul the marriage. Until then, she indulges herself with one last indulgence. Leo, she thought.Leo, Leo, Leo.It shouldn't have ended like this between us. It shouldn't have ended like this.