Chapter 10 Chapter nine

It was a full five minutes after Bernie woke up that Leo was in the tent.She sat up abruptly, judging by the light coming through the tent mouth, she slept until the sun rose. You didn't tell me something, he said calmly. He sat cross-legged on the far side of the tent.Even in the relatively dim tent, she could still see his bloodshot eyes.He held a mug in his hand, and the tea in the cup was not steaming. how long have you been here I am not sure.Maybe an hour.He took a sip of tea.I came to wake you up, but then decided to let you sleep more.I think you didn't sleep well last night.

I'm fine.Please go out first, I'll be ready to go. I don't want to go out, he said calmly.I'm not going anywhere unless you reveal something you've been hiding. Why do you think I'm hiding something? Because I'm not young, superficial, self-righteous, or frivolous to that extent.Selfish or not, I am by no means a playboy. You really think highly of yourself. I have no reason to consider myself particularly obnoxious, other than your intense dislike for me.What's more, it was you who proposed.I was originally the person you wanted to spend your whole life with, but how could I become someone you can't bear.

It must have changed in just a few short weeks. In just a few weeks?You mean when we got engaged? She rubs her forehead.She has revealed too much. You were working in the hospital at the time, he said.We only have Sundays alone, have one meal a week with your family, and check in on Will occasionally to check on the progress of the wedding preparations.I was out of the country at all a week before the wedding.Even if my character is really that bad, you have no chance to find out. He frowned.Did someone gossip with you? Am I like someone who listens to gossip? He stared at her.That is how the matter?

She gets out of bed.Go away and leave me alone. I've already said I'm not going.If you keep at it, we can stay here until the end of the world. I need to wash. Just make it clear as soon as possible that you can wash your hands any way you like.He is very stubborn.Even criminals are formally charged to make them aware of their crimes.You judge yourself.Conviction, no chance to defend me at all.I don't deserve to be treated like this.I at least have the right to know the truth.Would you rather be seen by me as ruthless and fickle? Her anger was rekindled, and the shame was overshadowed by anger.Yeah, why should she feel ashamed?She was right again.Obviously he destroyed their chance of happiness single-handedly.

She clenched her fists.No, you are not allowed to think of me as ruthless and fickle. He suddenly felt timid, as if there was a Pandora's box in front of him, once the poison inside was released, it could never be closed back. But it was too late.Now she wanted him to know the truth.Now her eyes were burning with anger.Now her tone was heavy and grim, like a Fury. You believe that the letter revealed all the flaws in my character. The person who wrote the letter is called Yang Beidi, and she is a maid of Mrs. He.On the afternoon when I went to Mrs. He's house to deliver Yang Beidi, all the servants should be on vacation.

There was a loud bang in Leo's head. I guess you should remember it?Having said that, maybe you are lazy everywhere in London, Mrs. He's house is just one of your many love nests. He shook his head silently.No, he wasn't lazy everywhere.He remembered clearly what happened that day. When he was young, he traveled in North Africa, from Casablanca to the banks of the Nile, and met Mrs. He in Cairo.She was a young widow who took care of her brother, who was ambassador to Egypt.Leo was in Egypt for two weeks and they had a wonderful time together during that time. Years later, on the day he was leaving for Paris, they met unexpectedly in London.Her brother was finally married, and she was happy to escape the tropical heat.He didn't know that she had returned to China, but she had already known about his tumultuous marriage.

Three months later, they met for the last time, this time at the invitation of him, on the beautiful suspension bridge in St James's Park. I want to ask you something, although no one is around, he still keeps his voice down.You really didn't talk about that matter in April? of course not.Madam He frowned, this question offended her deeply.I won't hurt you like that.What's more, I already knew my current boyfriend at that time.Two weeks later he started courting me.Of course I don't want to spoil my image, I hope he thinks I'm a chaste widow who is wholeheartedly waiting for him, a predestined person.

But your servant was there that day. They have no idea who you are, and you left without a business card when you left.What's more, they were very busy that day, and my maid gave birth in the servants' room that afternoon. He apologized, said she shouldn't have suspected her tongue-tied tongue, she accepted the apology, he wished her a happy relationship with her boyfriend, and they said goodbye in a harmonious atmosphere, she went for a walk in Bond Street, while he returned to the empty house .A few months later, when he discovered Yang Beidi's thank you letter, he had no idea that the person who wrote the letter was Mrs. He's maid.

He should have thought of it earlier.He should have guessed that this incident was the main reason for the breakdown of their relationship. He couldn't move, couldn't speak, under the thick black sword eyebrows, his eyes drooped, and his profound facial features were hidden in the shadows. She started shaking again.She felt the wound being ripped open, and with it a very, very deep shame.For hours and days after what she witnessed on Berkeley Street, she felt the same shame. what do you seeHe finally spoke. Your face is reflected in the mirror. on the bed? not yet.He was walking towards Mrs. He's bed, but he hadn't gotten up yet, he was just standing by the side.He was still wearing a shirt, and the suspenders of his trousers hung firmly on his shoulders.

Why didn't you stop me? Stop you?All these years, she never thought that she could show up and stop him at that time.No one can stop the fire from starting a prairie fire, only to flee as soon as possible.At that time, my dreams were shattered to the ground, and I didn't think so much at all. He wiped it.When he looked at her again, his eyes were empty.Why didn't you call off the wedding? She froze.She has asked herself this question countless times, and the conclusion is the same every time.Simple anger was no match for her own intricate weaknesses. She didn't cancel the wedding, because he was the headliner in her life, and other women of the same social status as her could only salivate.Because she was afraid, if she canceled the engagement when the wedding date was so close, she didn't know how the public opinion would be in an uproar.Because she believed that she was big enough to forgive him, and she even believed that she had already forgiven him.

Vanity, cowardice and self-deception.These shortcomings that she didn't know before all appeared in an instant because of this crisis. I thought I could forgive you, she said.People are best at lying to themselves. The problem is, she's never forgiven anyone in her life.Her heart is made of glass and will only shatter, never stretch. She turned her face away, and within hours of being married she realized the truth: she hadn't forgiven him at all.As long as he touched her, she was disgusted and disgusted all over.But the wedding is over and it's too late. Shame, self-blame, frustration, all kinds of emotions churned in his heart, each of which was enough to drown him. She sat back on the bed again, her face pale, like bleached bones.Is she your mistress? He shook his head.No.When I was nineteen I spent a fortnight in Cairo, and she was my lover at the time.The day I was leaving for France, after leaving your hospital, I stopped by the stationery store and met her there. It seems that her charm is irresistible.I understand. Mrs. He warmly congratulated him.As soon as she walked out of the stationery shop, she winked coquettishly at him and asked him if he wanted to have fun one last time before he got married and became a good husband. He refused.Many women wanted to be his last object before marriage, but he rejected them all. She's not that attractive. You go with her to her house. This is an irreversible fact.In the end he did go to her house with Mrs. He. I have a premarital phobia. because I. Because of you. That's your excuse? That's no excuse, it's the truth. It's really convenient, just at the moment when you have a premarital phobia, you just meet your former lover. Not like that. how is that What was it like? Probably I took a deep breath, he stuttered for the first time in his life.Probably because I have always had doubts in my heart, worrying that things were decided too hastily.Worrying about you I know almost nothing about each other.Worrying that no matter how hard we try, maybe we just don't get along. She looked at the hem of her pajamas.and after? Then I went to the hospital to say goodbye to you.I thought it would be fun to visit a hospital.That was the first time I went to the hospital, and the experience was unsettling.Seeing you in the hospital made me very upset. The timing of his visit was very wrong.There happened to be a lot of food poisoning patients in the hospital that day, and they vomited in the hospital lobby because the speed was too fast, and the poor cleaners had no time to clean up the aftermath. She walked the halls as calmly as a walk in a spring garden.Her calm attitude should have reassured him, but instead it made him feel that he knew nothing about her.He was also uncomfortable with the smug, assertive air with which she introduced him to colleagues.It was not unusual for a socialite to do this, but he hadn't expected her to do it, and he was fully convinced that she disdained such ostentation. Where do I make you uneasy? I have always admired your aloofness, but I didn't know that you also have a vanity side. She clasped her hands.That's it. He really wanted to evaporate, really wanted to disappear from the world.His excuses were vague and stupid, and they felt even more shameful when they were said.But he had no choice but to at least let her know the truth. On the way to the stationery store, I was suddenly overwhelmed by doubts.I question whether the decision to marry you is as crazy as everyone makes it out to be.I asked myself if it was really acceptable to have no offspring, if in a few years we would have nothing more to say. He looked at his hands.The wedding is just a week away. Outside the tent, Imran yelled at the coolies to be careful when moving the tub.The river murmured and ran.The maid hummed a tune in a low voice, which seemed to be a sacrificial song. I could just go get drunk, or vomit my bitterness to Will.But Mrs. He was there, and she wanted to play, so I chose her as the channel of relief. How ironic that the evasive behavior he made out of fear of unhappiness turned out to be the fuse of unhappiness. I regretted it before I entered her house, I hope this will make you feel better.Afterwards, I even scolded myself for being stupid.When I came back from Paris, I was determined to have a good married life because all I wanted was you.He suddenly choked up.Looks like it's about time. She didn't speak. After I got married, I never met another woman.Hope this puts you in a better mood. She spread her hands on her lap.If you don't mind, I want to change clothes. He stood up from the corner.certainly.Sorry for disturbing you. At the tent door, he turned around.You are right, I am indeed young and superficial.But I didn't mean to hurt you.Sorry to break your heart, and in such a mean way.Please forgive me. But he knew in his heart that she would not forgive him.