Chapter 17 Chapter 14

I am completely broken. The continuous interrogation in Bahrain for two weeks, and the more frequent interrogation in Seoul for eight days, I finally resisted. I exhausted all my wits to fabricate lies, and used the latter to cover up the former, so as to maintain Loyalty to a great leader.The most important purpose of lying is to save my family from bad luck. But all is in the past, my resistance has become weak, the South Koreans defeated me.Contrary to my expectations, they did not use violence; they relied on inexhaustible reason and patience.I told them that I was a Chinese orphan who had been unofficially adopted by the kindhearted Shinichi Minetani, and that I went with him on vacation in Europe.But I can't fool them.They know full well that I'm a North Korean spy, and they know it even if I don't confess.They also know that I have committed a crime that will never be forgiven by killing 115 innocent people.

Yes, I am broken.However, what finally broke me was the city of Seoul, which destroyed my last line of defense.Growing up, I always thought of the South Korean government as a puppet government beset by poverty under the brutal rule of foreign capitalists.As soon as I arrived in Seoul, I couldn't wait to prove that my education was true. But I was reborn and reborn.The man who admired Kim Il Sung from childhood died at Bahrain airport.A new man slowly and gradually replaces her.It was Seoul, more than anything else, that gave birth to this newborn. It was the day before my final confession, and the guard told me that I would be free from interrogation and that I could go sightseeing in the city.

I put on the two piece black suit they gave me and it felt like a kid dressed up for the first day of school, I don't know why they treat me so well. After the car drove out of the police station, I climbed up a mountain road and saw trees, granite, and red loess that I was familiar with. I didn’t see anything abnormal. Above my head was a blue sky with white clouds floating on it. This is the same sky I have seen in Pyongyang.When the car reached the top of the mountain, the urban area of ​​Seoul was miraculously displayed in front of me, and the illusion that I thought I would return to the South Korea I was familiar with was completely shattered.

The wide streets were full of traffic, and I had never seen so many cars in Western Europe before.Shocked, I stared at the drivers, but they were not foreigners, they were Koreans. I was stunned, the scene in front of me was so different from what I expected, I really didn't know what to say.I can't believe it.I finally said this to myself. A special agent who sat with us pointed to the non-stop cars outside and said to me: These cars are all made in South Korea, and most families now have their own cars, so some people say that beggars drive around in cars now. Ask for something.As a result, roads and parking lots have become serious social problems.

Our cars stop and go, as do the cars on the road.I understood the meaning of his last sentence.But I care more about what he said earlier.In North Korea, only senior party officials or government ministers have cars.We students had to salute them when they drove past us.Being a driver is an enviable occupation for young people, at least among young men.Women never dreamed of cars; sometimes they were allowed to drive trolleybuses for the first time. However, in Seoul, I saw that many drivers were women, which surprised me, putting their faces on the car windows and staring outside. We drove past South Gate, Town Hall, Parliament Buildings, Olympic Village and Trade Centre.I was deeply impressed by the unrestrained manners, friendly facial expressions and colorful and beautiful costumes of the pedestrians on the street.But what touched me the most were the roadside vendors at every traffic light intersection.In North Korea, they told me that roadside vendors were the most lowly people in South Korea, but they sold anything but cheap watches, quality tools, fancy clothes, and fine shoes.This is absolutely impossible in North Korea.In North Korea, the price of just such a watch is enough to feed a family of five for seven months.It seems that these street vendors make a lot of money selling goods, how can they be said to be poor?

When night fell, we drove up to Nanshan Mountain, showing me the city's lights at night.Looking down from the mountain, the night view of Seoul is full of fantasy and beautiful.I fell in love with her from the bottom of my heart. Agreeing to ride with them to Seoul was the last mistake I made and it set me free.Those who held me knew what it would do to me.I can't shake the feeling that the past twenty-six years of my life have been nothing more than a fraud. A wave of hatred for Kim Il Sung came to me, and suddenly I realized that my job, my project, my training, my whole life had been based on lies and deceit.

The next day, I sat in front of the interrogation table, opposite the spy who had reprimanded me two days before.He politely asked me how I felt about my trip yesterday, seeing that I couldn't think of a suitable answer, he smiled slightly. I'm going to expose your lies one by one, listen carefully, think carefully, and stop lying.There is only one truth, and we already know it.do you understand? He stopped, lit a cigarette, and said: You are not Chinese at all.why?You said you lived in Wuchang City for fifteen years, but in fact there is no Wuchang City in Heilongjiang Province, only Wuchang County.If you really grew up in the North, you know that the word maturity is only used in the South, and you use it a lot.You also call polenta corn, which is also a southern way of saying it, and northerners call it wrapped rice, but you never say that.

You said you were an orphan who grew up on the street, and what you ate was Hoppang Bread, but only rich people could eat this kind of bread.You also said that your aunt sells newspapers and dumplings on the streets of Wuchang. You obviously don’t know that there are no newspapers on the streets of Wuchang County. He paused again and let me reflect on what he had said.There are many such contradictory and flawed examples. He also said: All these only prove one point: you are not Chinese, and it is useless to pretend any longer. He lit another cigarette, never taking his eyes off me.He took a puff and added: You claim to have lived in Japan with Shinichi Minetani for a year, yet when we served you laver, one of the best dishes in Japan, you mockingly asked if it was burnt Paper.He probably thought it was a little funny when he said this, and the rest of the room burst out laughing.Do you still remember Shinichi Minetani's residence in Japan that you drew?The houses you draw don't look like Japanese houses at all, and the streets you draw don't look like Japanese streets at all.

You said that you often watch TV, but when you asked about the brand of the TV set in Mine Valley, you said it was Jindal, and the word Jindal is only found in Korean. It is exactly a TV brand in North Korea. I think you understand this privately as well.Also, during the period you claim you were living in Japan, Japanese TV broadcast live broadcasts of the Asian Games in Seoul every day, and you don't know which country has the most medals. You said that when taking a taxi in Japan, the driver sits on the left, but in fact the driver sits on the right.And one last point, you claim to have left Japan on November 14, so you should know that the prime minister of Japan has changed, but you say that the prime minister is Nakasone instead of Noboru Takeshita, this is the biggest mistake.

Therefore, he spit out the cigarette butt in his mouth and concluded: I can tell you so many flawed things, and I can give you many examples. How can you claim to have lived in Japan? These words are like a rope around my neck, getting tighter and tighter.I couldn't make up any new lies anymore, so I couldn't help but hang my head.But the interrogator is still in hot pursuit: Once you got here, we paid attention to your every move.For example, when you make the bed and fold the quilt, you move neatly, quickly and well, which can only be achieved by people who have received systematic military training for a long time.

You claim not to understand Korean, but when we question you, you often tap your fingers habitually.When we use Korean words: Knocking fingers is a sign of nervousness.You immediately stop the movement of your fingers.When several of us said to each other in Korean: Hey, listen to her, she is lying!You just try to convince us that you're telling the truth.We tell jokes in Korean ourselves, and you run to the bathroom to keep yourself from laughing. There is one last temptation.He bent over with a serious expression, looking at me with his eyes.When I handed you a note in Korean that said you were a North Korean spy, I saw the look of embarrassment and horror on your face.Do you want me to go on? I felt as if my clothes were being stripped off one by one.No, say no more!I can't listen anymore.I felt ashamed, angry, ashamed, and regretted a word. I was completely defeated in the contest and could no longer resist.Remaining silent will not save lives. What if the secret is revealed?I must be executed, because I am a murderer.But what about my family?I think of a friend named Gu Jiayang when I was in high school. Her house had a black and white TV set, and there were always sweets at home. I often went to her house to play at night, eating sweets while watching TV.Her younger brothers are all excellent students, and they all serve as cadres in the school youth league. One day in 1974, when Gu Jiayang didn't come to school, it was rumored that one of her younger brothers reported to the Ministry of Social Security that his mother was a spy.Authorities immediately launched an investigation, and her parents and an uncle were accused of being spies.Soon her family was exiled to the Yanggang︱do concentration camp, and even his neighbors were afraid that they would be exiled because of their connection with her family. I have heard of the conditions of being locked up in concentration camps day after day, year after year, toiling to death.I don't want my parents and siblings to suffer like this. In North Korea, wives often worry about their husbands drinking too much, but they are not worried about their husbands' health like people in other countries, but they worry that they will say stupid things and be reported by others when they are drunk.As long as one word is wrong, the whole family will suffer accordingly. This is life in North Korean society. If I confess frankly, what happened to my family will be very clear.I can almost imagine father, mother, Hyun-soo and Hyun-ok being picked up and taken away by the secret police. Doubts arose in my heart: should my mission really be carried out?Could this act of terror and the huge death toll it caused really lead to the unification of South Korea?If South Korea cannot host the Olympics, will the country remain divided?Could an explosion on a passenger plane really stop the Olympics from being held in Seoul? I slowly understood.Unless you are an idiot, it is not difficult for anyone to understand the right and wrong in this. At this point, the only obstacle to my full confession was my family.If I remain silent until my death, my family will live the rest of my life in honor, however Can they spend the rest of their lives like that?The South Korean side already has a lot of information, and they will definitely analyze what I said in conjunction with other things.There is no bargaining with them. They will not quietly end my life and spare my family. They will choose the right time to let the truth come out. I also thought of something else. If I don’t confess, wouldn’t I owe a debt of conscience to the families of those innocent martyrs?Shouldn't I make a sincere repentance for the heinous crimes I committed?Otherwise, what is the difference between myself and the devil in their eyes?Yes, for these people, I have to confess everything. I looked up at my interrogator and said these words slowly: Forgive me, I am so sorry.I say it all.