Chapter 22 end

Dear Papa and Mama: I am Hyun Hee.Yes, I am alive and well, despite the unbelievable truth. You will recognize this letter from me when you see my handwriting.I can imagine your surprise as you read this letter. We have been apart for three years, and I miss you every day with tears in my eyes. I have seen you many times in my dreams, and I always wake up in tears, not being able to be with you makes me feel so desolate and sad. Mom, Dad, I know that as the eldest daughter, I'm not the best kid in the family.I have so many mistakes.After we broke up for the last time, I accepted a very important mission assigned by the state and was sent to Guangzhou, China.For this reason, I can no longer come back to visit you.I couldn't even step outside of training camp.

You know, during the years that I was elected by the party, I was trained as an agent of the intelligence service who was sent overseas to carry out missions.My mission is to travel all over the world.After being sent to Guangzhou, they gave me a mission to blow up a South Korean airliner.The goal is to prevent the 1988 Olympic Games from being held in Seoul and promote the unification of our country.As you know, neither of these goals was achieved. What I thought to be the most important mission of our country has brought me a deep humiliation and a lifelong regret.Only one of my missions was successful: the airliner was blown up, and 115 people were killed.

A few days later, I was captured and extradited back to Seoul by South Korean secret agents.Here I made my confession, was tried, and was condemned to death. I miraculously got amnesty again.Now, as they say, I am a free man again. How can I explain all this to you?How can I explain to you that everything I believed in in North Korea turned out to be false?South Korea is a beautiful country, economically comparable to the US, Japan and Europe.No matter how hard I try, I cannot tell you enough about the glorious achievements here.The average household here has a color TV, a VCR, a telephone, a refrigerator, and many even have a car.

It's hard to find a family here that has to worry about three meals a day like they do in North Korea. At first it was difficult for me to understand the various freedoms that people here enjoy.People have so many different thoughts and opinions, how can the country be managed?However, it is well managed. I heard tourists from the Soviet Union say that South Korea is paradise on earth.Everyone here is looking forward to the unity of our land and nation.I myself have embraced this belief.Because I was led on a twisted and perverted life path before, I will spend the rest of my life with my hands stained with the blood of 115 lives.

People here are full of compassion and understanding.They said: It's not your fault.Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il order you to commit crimes and they are responsible.However, I can't resurrect those dead and return to their loved ones.The kindness of the people here made me realize that despite everything I've done wrong in the past, I haven't become a heartless murderer yet. Recently I read a report that a man named Jin Manqing and his family crossed the 38th Parallel and fled North Korea by boat.I really envy him and hope you can come here too. Mom, I also brought you a surprise. I met your relatives.

Not long ago, I met my uncles Lin Guanghao, Huang Yingshu, Huang Wenshu, Huang Hongshu and Kim Bangshu's family.They treat me like their own family.We see each other a lot now and it eases my loneliness and I know they would love to see you too. Now that the two Germanys have been united, I sincerely hope that the days when our South and North Koreas will be united will not be too long.How happy I will be to see you again when that day comes.There are shining stars behind the dark clouds, and life waiting for spring is still gestating in the hard permafrost. We cannot give up hope. I have a thousand words to say, but I have to stop here reluctantly.Miss you all very much.

Thoughts and blessings from Seoul. miss your eldest daughter Hyun Hee May 1991