Chapter 34 Funny and humorous Yue Longyan

Humorous speech is the lubricant of interpersonal communication, which is also an important reason why Heshen was appreciated by Emperor Qianlong.In our impression, generally high-ranking and powerful people are old-fashioned, prudent and serious, but He Shen is different. He loves to joke all his life, that is, he is good at joking.Zhao Lin mentioned He Shen's characteristics in this aspect in "Xiao Ting Miscellaneous Records": Although He Shen was an extremely human minister, he lacked the stature of a minister, and he was good at talking in the market, thinking he was joking.Tasting the ceremony in Qianqing Palace, the kings and ministers were mostly handsome and elegant, and they laughed with each other and said: "Today is like Sun Wuzi teaching daughter soldiers!"

Sun Wuzi's teaching and acting of daughter soldiers is what we often call Sun Wu training soldiers.During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, Sun Wu, a soldier sage, showed Wu Wang Fucha his ability to lead the army in Wu. Wu Wang Fucha didn't believe it, and asked him jokingly if he could train court ladies according to his own theory. Sun Wu said that as long as there is discipline, anyone can do it. Trained to be a warrior who goes into battle to kill the enemy.Fu Chai ordered Sun Wu to practice in formation with court ladies instead of soldiers.Sun Wu appointed the two most beloved beauties of the king of Wu as the left and right captains, and asked them to lead the maids to practice.Regardless of the curiosity and laughter of the court ladies, Sun Wu seriously preached the essentials of the exercises.After preaching twice, the maids still did not obey the order, causing the formation to be in chaos.Sun Wu ignored Wu Wang Fucha's plea, ordered the beheading of the two captains, and then ordered to practice, and the movements of the maids completely met the requirements.With this, Sun Wu conquered Fuchai, king of Wu, and became Wu's military adviser.He Shen referred to the internal and external ministers who participated in the performance as daughter soldiers, which was naturally a joke to enliven the atmosphere.

Not only that, when He Shen was on duty at the military aircraft department, he also liked to joke with his colleagues to make others happy.Once he saw Wang Jie, the minister of military aircraft and a scholar of Dongge University, on duty at the military aircraft department, so he deliberately teased him.He Shen leaned over and took Wang Jie's hand to touch it around, and exaggeratedly exclaimed: "Your hands are so white and tender!"Although this is a joke, it makes people uncomfortable. It seems that He Shen intends to say that Wang Jie's hands are like women's hands. This is an insulting words and deeds in the feudal era.Wang Jie had never been used to He Shen's high-spirited appearance, and He Shen's reputation for being greedy and loving money, so he laughed and replied to him: My hands are good, but I just can't make money!As a result, He Shen walked away with a livid face as soon as he heard it, and made himself a fool. This can be regarded as an example of his unsuccessful joke.

In fact, it is normal for ministers to joke with each other when they are officials in the same dynasty, and it can also maintain a more harmonious relationship with their colleagues.Like many literati and scholars at that time, such as Ji Yun, Liu Yong, Zhu Gui, etc., he was a good joker, and there are many records about them. Ji Yun is responsible for the compilation of "Siku Quanshu". He often holds a big dry pipe pot and writes books while smoking.One summer, the weather was extremely hot, so he took off his shirt and went shirtless.Unfortunately, Emperor Qianlong came to inspect, and he had no time to greet him, so he had to wrap a piece of cloth around his body, and got under the table, not daring to be disheveled.Unexpectedly, Emperor Qianlong liked the finished "Siku Quanshu" very much, so he flipped through it casually and didn't leave the room for a long time, which made Ji Yun very uncomfortable under the table, but he didn't dare to say anything.Finally, Emperor Qianlong left the door, and Ji Yun hurriedly got out from under the table, complaining: The old man finally left!Unexpectedly, this sentence was heard by Qianlong who was not far away, so he turned back again.Ji Yun knew that he couldn't escape, so he had to put on his clothes in a hurry, and apologized to Emperor Qianlong again and again.When Emperor Qianlong saw that he was very responsible for the compilation of "Siku Quanshu", he was in a great mood, and he would not forgive him if he insisted on explaining the meaning of the three characters "Old Man".Ji Yun knew that it was Qianlong who was testing his talents and learning, so he couldn't help but feel proud, so he opened his mouth and said: Longevity is the old man, the head is the head of the sky, and the father is the mother and the earth is the son.Your Majesty, shouldn't you be called an old man?This remark amused Emperor Qianlong, so he laughed and turned back to the palace.

Zhu Gui also often entertains himself in funny ways.In his later years, he liked to close his eyes and meditate.When his disciples and subordinates visit him, he always sits leaning against the table, supports his head with a cane, and prepares a blue handkerchief at any time to wipe away the filth in his eyes in time. He always squints and jokes with people .There is a Wengong Temple in the Imperial Academy to commemorate Changli. Wu Hong, the predecessor of Hanlin, used to replace Wengong as a joke.One year, after presiding over the ceremony of offering sacrifices to Confucius, he passed by Wengong Temple, and in the sedan chair, he bowed his hands to the outside and saluted: the old man is polite!It made others laugh.

One New Year's Eve, his protégé Yao Yuanzhi went to say hello, and Zhu Gui was still leaning on a cane in a daze. Seeing his disciple coming, he held up his purse and said, "It's a pity that there is nothing here, and I can't give you a penny of New Year's money."As soon as he finished speaking, a servant came to report: a disciple gave thirty taels of silver.Zhu Gui had just said that he would not give Yao Yuanzhi the New Year's money, so he simply denied it: These people are too dumb, I never knew them, why would they use this money for nothing.The words and deeds of his temperament are vivid on the paper.

Hong Liangji's notes "Jiangbei Poetry Talk" recorded such a thing about Liu Yong: Liu Yong worked abroad for many years, and finally entered Beijing as an official.One day, he was eating at the military plane. Some of his colleagues recalled the story of the prime ministers eating meals in the Tang and Song Dynasties. Liu Yong said with a smile: But if the people have no dung in the palace, why not the prime minister have meals?The people sitting around are spraying rice for it. We can see from the above examples that their jokes are self-inflicted to achieve the purpose of self-protection, which also reflects the appearance of officials under Qianlong's high-handed rule from one aspect.Different from them, He Shen's way of speaking and intonation are more to Qianlong's taste.So he often took the opportunity to show off in front of the emperor.Once, King Annan paid a tribute to Qianlong for a golden lion statue. He Shen first took it and prepared to hand it over to Qianlong. He found that the base was empty, and deliberately said seriously: It is a pity that it is empty, otherwise the gold will be worthless!It made Emperor Qianlong and everyone present laugh out loud.In his old age, Qianlong felt relaxed with Heshen beside him and said some humorous words from time to time. He would inevitably become more dependent on Heshen when his face was happy.