Chapter 48 Forty Seven Queenie

Of course I had to ask Bernard if he wanted to stay.He doesn't have to look at me like that.The deflated balloon, slowly drooping on the wall after the party.I'm not trying to throw him out.How can I drive him away?This is his house, I haven't forgotten.The hell that yawns in front of me every morning. I told him: The bed I made for you in the guest room was Arthur's original room. Every day there were stories in the papers of dead people coming home.A loved one suddenly reappears at the door after years of mourning.By the time they find their way home, they're probably not so lovable anymore.

He said: "I still wish I could sleep in our bed. So I said: OK. He smiles at me.He took another sip of tea.The cup trembled as it was brought to his lips. I told him: Then I will sleep in Arthur's room.You sleep in your original bed. He hastily said: Queenie.But I was already out of the room, getting a sheet for myself from the cupboard, and a towel for him. My vanity mirror quickly caught me.Hundreds of terrified Queenies.Everyone froze with fright.Scream silently: What the hell is happening now?He came in behind me. I said: Is there something wrong? i just want to know Yes, what what?What's the matter, Bernard?I try not to yell.

Can I help.Help make the bed? No, I'll be fine in a minute.Go finish your tea. Wounded dogs don't walk so slumped.My eyes caught their Queenies again, all wondering now if Bernard deserved a better welcome than this.Like Clark.Gable and Vivien Leigh had a kiss and a hug.I said: let's go.It has nothing to do with those celebrities. Every time there was an awkward silence, I poured tea for him.He also drank it all.How many cups of tea did we have?Twenty, thirty, almost that much.No milk, not much sugar left.He's still as fastidious as he was before he left.Take the sugar like gold and put it in your tea.Stir until a hole is made in the bottom of the glass.Tap the spoon to let the scattered tea drops fall like a jingle of bells.Then, of course, the tea must be cooled before drinking.I thought he should be able to drink it hot like a man after being in the RAF for so long.But he made a sound that to my ears was like the screeching of a fork across a plate.

The hair on his temples is gray.increasingly sparse.Unexpectedly, he was even thinner, and the hollows of his cheeks outlined the marrow underneath.He still does that weird trick of twitching his nose like a rabbit, stuffing a white handkerchief into one nostril and then the other.His cookie crumbs stayed on his lips too long before he licked them off. He stared at the newspaper clipping of Arthur's death for hours.Read one by one.Swipe your finger across the text.I sat and watched him without saying a word.He pointed to the newspaper clipping with the horrified photo of me.A crazy woman, wishing she could find someone to strangle her neck.I told him: I was angry at the time, and that was the worst thing that ever happened.

He said: Indeed. I am waiting.I thought he was going to want to ask me questions.Is there a funeral?where is he buriedDid he say anything before he died?is he happyIs he sad?But Bernard said nothing.I just carefully read the newspaper clippings, and the veins on one side of my head emerged, as if I was chewing something. I told him: he was buried at Mansfield. He nods. He should have asked.What the hell are you doing at Mansfield?Why not in the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea?But he didn't ask.Didn't even ask what we were doing at Baston Farm. I said: I barely got a tombstone.

He nodded again. Then I thought: time for more tea, Queenie. I put the grandfather clock in Arthur's old room.It's the first thing you see when you open the door.Looks like a ghost in the dark.I don't stay in the room.Only when I think it should be cleaned on sunny days, I use a chicken feather to brush it lightly.The room was moldy from humidity.I went to open the window, but the frame was deformed and wouldn't budge.The next thing I knew, Bernard was behind me again.He said: I will help you.There's a little trick to this. I know.I told him.He thumped hard three times and pulled down the window.The air in the room was pungent like a lemon.I said: thank you.

Are you sure you're okay here?he asks. Oh sure.You sleep in another bed.I'm fine. Next he went to the grandfather clock.Looking at his watch, he looked back at the clock face.I said: It has never been wound since then.And then wish I hadn't said it.If he doesn't uncap and wind up, hit me.Every little thing should be very particular.I quickly said: no need.But it was too late.Tick, tick.He thought he was doing me a favor.I know he thinks so. alright.he said contentedly. It is only polite to say thank you. Well, Bernard, if you have everything you need, I'm going to rest now.

He said: OK, OK, of course.But he didn't move.Standing there was somewhat of a spectacle studying the room, with his mouth open as if he had never entered. I said: good night then.I went to the door and signaled him to go out.He walked towards me and stopped still.A bedtime kiss, that's what he wanted.Peck the chick's mouth.But none of us had the guts.Instead, they both said: sleep well. After he left, I locked the door.Turning an old rusty stiff key in the keyhole.Gently and silently try the doorknob to make sure the door is locked.Just then, the annoying grandfather clock struck.

Early in the morning, he stood outside the gate with Mr. Todd.Their voices were muffled by the distance, and I couldn't make out what they were saying.But surprise and joy made Mr. Todd's voice shrill like a girl's.Snickerd with the best gossip every few minutes.It's fine until they quiet down.After the volume was lowered, he just muttered under his breath, not wanting to be heard.The sincere murmurs went on for quite some time. He moved several things in the living room.A china dog is moved from the sideboard to the mantelpiece and put back in its place.An armchair was set back a few feet from the stove.He was flushed when he came in from the outside.Sleeves rolled up.The first button undid inadvertently.He walked into the drawing room with an almost buoyant air.Waving your arms against the cold.

He told me: It took me a while to find the teapot.It's not where it used to be. I said yes. Did you sleep well? fine thanks.And you? He looked up and told the ceiling: It's so good to be back in my own bed. He made toast.Almost skipped to the kitchen to get it.He'd never been like this before.I mean, bouncing around.Served on a silver stand.The triangles are neatly arranged in a row. Where did you get this toast rack? Oh, it's my mother's. where to put? In the sideboard.I didn't say it wasn't in that dead sideboard, but I'd love to. He pulled out the chair and sat me at the dining table.Sit down after I take my seat.Put the napkin under the chin, like being in a top restaurant.Pass me the toast.I took a big bite and he asked me: How many tenants do we have?

We he said us.I put the toast on the plate.Take a napkin and wipe the corners of your mouth.I thought to myself, I can play with him.Let me see.The two floors in the middle have Winston and Jean.On the top floor were Gilbert and his wife.There was an arty silence, so I added: Gilbert's wife has just arrived.His brows gradually wrinkled on his forehead like quicksand.I know what the next question will be. Are they all people of color? No, Jean is not.She is a nurse. Mr. Todd didn't call her that. I'll just say it. He slapped the table with his hand, which really scared me.Whores and people of color!What are you thinking, Queenie? I don't want to yell anymore.Bernard, listen to me.I must find a tenant.I don't know where you are.No one wants to take care of me.I had to bring people in. Queenie, I have no problem with that, but does it have to be people of color?Can't you find some decent tenants for this house?decent people? They all pay rent.And very punctual.Gilbert also served in the Royal Air Force during the war. He was indifferent. Bernard, I'm sorry to tell you that this house is not a palace.It really became dilapidated during the war.I don't know how to fix it, and I have no one to turn to for help.They are willing to pay a good price to live in those dimly lit rooms.I have no choice.I mean: where are you from?You haven't told me yet! He chewed again before saying: Well, since I'm back now, they have to go.My toast is like sandpaper.I have no saliva to swallow dry bread.Bernard continued: You know, Mr. Todd is moving. I said: is it?I'm not surprised by this and have nothing to lose. He and his sister found a small house in Orpington.I don't doubt it.I tried to spread more cream on the toast, but still couldn't get it down.Said the street had fallen.How can these people of color trample this place.It hardly feels like its own country anymore.He poured the tea and handed me a cup, which rattled on the saucer. I said: I think they all blame me. The shaking cup fell silent temporarily.He continued: "I've been thinking, we should move out.Get rid of these coolies, I mean, tenants.Let them look elsewhere for a house that suits them better.Sell ​​this place.Move to a more selective location.Probably Kent.I heard that the perimeter of Ashford is very good.He was relaxed and happy again.Even bolder, bouncing on his own chair.He suddenly said the strangest thing: Maybe I can open a rabbit farm. I'm sure I didn't hear clearly: a room for what? rabbit farm.We only need two rabbits to get started.One male and one female. what are you saying? rabbit.Do you know what they breed like? Bernard, are you crazy? like a rabbit.I swear he choked on it. What? This is a joke.Can't you hear it?They breed like rabbits.rabbit. What are you planning? Breed rabbits on pasture.We can start together.I run the business and you take care of the livestock.It's going to be a new business, I know.A lot of work is inevitable.But everything will soon be back to how it was before.Just like before.We can start over with rabbits. Every stupid word he uttered sucked the air out of the dining room as if siphoning it.He didn't leave much air for me to take a breath.I choked, clutching my throat. He said: Are you okay? The path of the toast is wrong, but not for this reason.no.I'm sure I'm really smothered.