Chapter 24 24. Autobiography of Yellow Dog

A manuscript written by animals, please read it, I don't think it will destroy you humans.Mr. Kipling[Note 1] and many others have proved that animals can express their thoughts and feelings in English, and are often rewarded for it; no magazine will go to print without an animal story these days , the only exceptions are those who are still serializing Brian [Note 2] and Monte.Paley's monthly magazine of horror comic strips. However, you don’t have to rummage around in my essays, looking for the bear eggs, bears, snake eggs, snakes, tam eggs[Note 3], tigers and other self-righteous literature in jungle novels.A yellow dog that has spent most of its life wasted in a cheap apartment in New York, curled up in a corner under an old and torn sateen petticoat (which was splashed by Mrs. Longshawman at her grand banquet). Special wine [Note 4]), he will never fool people with rhetoric.

【Note 1】About.Lu.Kipling: (1865 | 1936) British writer born in India, won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1907. 【Note 2】William.Jennings.Bryan: (1860｜1925), leader of the American Democratic Party, editor of the Omaha World-Herald in 1984. [Note 3] The author may allude to the Tammany Association, a Democratic organization in New York City, also known as Tammany Hall. 【Note 4】Port wine: originally refers to a deep red or white wine produced in Portugal. I was born a yellow paparazzi; I don't know the date, place, parentage or weight of my birth.The first thing I remember is an old lady putting me in a basket and going up to the corner of Broadway and Twenty-third Street, trying to sell me to a fat woman in a weird way.Hubbard's old mother had a three-inch tongue, and she had a good time, boasting that I could sing better than the band, and that I was a real Pomeranian【Note 1】｜Hambleton【Note 2】｜ Red-haired Ireland｜Cochin China [Note 3] A greedy Porges foxhound.The fat woman carried a shopping bag containing a pile of samples of cotton flannel; she chased a five-dollar bill among the samples until she cornered the bill.From that moment on, I became the darling of a human pet mom.Hey, gentle reader, have you ever had a woman who weighs two hundred pounds and smells of Camembert cheese and Spanish cowhide come out of her mouth when she exhales, picks you up and rubs her nose all over you? Arch, keep using Emma.Eames [Note 4] accent said: Oh, oo's um oodlun, doodlum, woodlum, toodlum, bitsy｜witsy skoodlums (sounds similar to singing when a woman coaxes a pet dog)?

[Note 1] Pomerania: The world is called Pomerania.old district name.Central European region from Schlalarsund (Eastern Germany) in the west to Vistula (Poland) in the east. 【Note 2】Hambleton: The American Standardbred racehorse is the ancestor of most racehorses today. 【Note 3】Cochin China: The former French colony in Southeast Asia, located in southern Vietnam. 【Note 4】Emma.Eames: (1865 | 1952), American lyric soprano. After becoming the little yellow dog of a wealthy family, I grew into a nameless yellow-haired mongrel dog. At first glance, it looks like a cross between an Angora cat and a box of lemons.But my mistress never understood.She thought the two ancient paparazzi that Noah drove onto the ark happened to be a collateral branch of my ancestors.It took two officers to stop her from taking me into Madison Square Garden for the Siberian Hound Grand Prix because I was ugly.

[Note] Madison Square: in New York City. Let me tell you about the house I live in.It was an ordinary house in New York, with Parisian marble in the foyer and cobblestone on the ground floor.There are three rooms in our suite, but there are no stairs.The interior was unfurnished, and my mistress rented the place out, with the common things in the room, and in the drawing-room hung an antique tapestry from 1903, with a chromograph of a A tearoom in Harlem with Japanese geishas, ​​a rubber tree, and a husband. [Note] Harlem: A famous black ghetto in New York City.The pictures below are nondescript.

Oh My God!There was also a biped, and we felt sorry for him.He was short, with sandy hair and sideburns that looked like mine.He is afraid of his wife?Alas, his body was bruised and pecked by the beaks of toucans, flamingos, and gannets. He wiped away the dishes and listened to my mistress croak.She hung cheap rags and squirrel fur coats to dry on the clothesline on the second floor.Every day at sunset, when she was preparing dinner, she told him to tie me up with a belt and lead me out for a walk. A man would never marry a wife if he knew how a woman passed the time when she was alone at home.Laura.Lien.Gibby, with her crunchy peanut slivers on her neck, a bit of almond butter, the dirty dishes sitting there unwashed, half an hour's chatting with the ice vendor, and reading a big bag of letters from the Year of the Monkey, A few pieces of crispy sauerkraut, a couple of bottles of malt paste, a peep through a hole in the window shade, a peek across the patio at the house across the way.There were still twenty minutes before he came home from get off work, and she hurriedly tidied up the room, put on her wig, concealed herself, took out a large bag of needlework, and fumbled about for ten minutes, which could scare her mind. husband.

I was living the life of a dog in that suite.Most of the day, I lay in my corner and watched the fat woman pass the time.I slept sometimes, and I had fanciful plans, such as, as one would expect, to run out and play with the cats, drive them into the basement, and bark at elderly ladies in black mittens.And then she's going to grab some poodle bullshit and make a fuss about me and babble and kiss me on the nose but what can I do?A dog can't chew clove leaves either. I started to feel sorry for Hubby, and if I couldn't chase the cat, he did it for me.We looked so much alike that people noticed it when we went out; so we used to make a lot of trouble in that part of town by walking together on the high street that Morgan's cab passed every day; In February, we went to the neighborhoods where the poor lived, to climb the piles of snow there.

[Note] Morgan: (1837 | 1913), an American financial giant.Here is a metaphor for the residence of the rich. We were sauntering down the street one evening, and I wanted to be a prize-winning St. Bernard, and old Harpy did all he could to make it look like he never Possibly murdered the first hand organist to play Mendelssohn's "Wedding March" on the street.I looked up at him and said in the dog's unique language: Why do you look so unhappy, you two-faced idiot?She won't kiss you.You don't have to sit on her lap and force yourself to listen to her dry talk that makes a musical comedy sound like an Epictetian aphorism.You're not a dog, and that's all you should be grateful for.Brace yourself, Benedict, and leave your sorrows behind.

【Note 1】St. Bernard: A kind of working dog.The body is strong and muscular, the head is big and heavy, and the body height can reach at least sixty-five centimeters.Guide and rescuer in the almshouse founded in St. Bernard in the Swiss Alps three hundred years ago. 【Note 2】Fees.Mendelssohn: (1809 | 1847), German composer. [Note 3] Epictetus: (55 | 135), an ancient Greek philosopher. The old man who had suffered from an unhappy marriage looked down at me with an almost dog-like intelligence on his face. Hey, dog, he said, good little dog.You almost look like you can talk.what you want to say?Puppy, cat?

But of course he couldn't understand.Humans cannot acquire the language abilities of animals.The only thing dogs and humans have in common that can communicate is in fiction. In the house across the hall lived a lady who had a mutt.Her husband leashed and led him out every evening, but he always came home whistling and merry.The mutt and I were bumping noses in the hall one day, and I bumped him for an explanation. Look here, Huanhuan, I said, you know, men are not born to be babysitters for dogs in front of everyone.I've never seen a dog on a leash who didn't want to lick other people who looked at him.But your master walks in every day dressed up and leads you in high spirits, like an amateur magician turning eggs.How did he do it?Don't tell me he likes this.

he?The mutt said, oh, his way is to let it be.He was always slightly drunk.When we first went out, he was shy, like the card-player on the steamer, who would rather play Peter's every time they piled up a jackpot.We went to eight bars in a row, and he was so drunk that he didn't care what was behind him, even if he was a dog?It's still a fish, he doesn't care.When I was going through the revolving door, I took a step forward and was trying to avoid the revolving door, but I lost two inches of my tail. 【Note】Peter Card: Ace Five in all fours (high ace, low ace, ace jack, or a game can be scored in four situations) type card game.

What the dog said made me stop, Wardville, please record, and I started to use my head to think about the problem. One evening, about six o'clock, my mistress bade him hurry to his work, and take the little lover out into the fresh air.I've been hiding the name until now, but that's what she calls me.She called the mutt Chi Chi.I thought, as far as chasing rabbits is concerned, I am better than it. Anyway, lover can be regarded as a name that can make people proud. On a safe street, in a quiet place, in front of a charming, elegant bar, I rushed for the door, straining the leash around my neck like a dog on the news With a whining sound, he was telling the family that little Alice had fallen into the mud while picking lilies by the stream. Ah!Damn eyes don't help, the old man grinned and said: My little yellow-haired kid with the lemon juice dyed his fur was begging me in for a drink.They were going to flay his skin to make shoes, but I left the skin on the doorstep, how long did I save his life?let me see i think i will I knew the old man had caught my trick.He sat at a table, sipping hot Scotch.For about an hour he kept ordering the waiter to bring up Campbell's canned goods.I sat next to him, flapping my tail, calling the waiter, and eating my free lunch.There's absolutely no way Mom's home cooking with half-cooked vegetables that Dad bought at a deli eight minutes before Dad comes home. [Note] Campbell Company: It was originally a canned food manufacturing company in the United States founded in 1869.In 1922, it was reorganized and the Campbell Soup Company was established. When all the specialties of Scotland were gone and only the black bread was left, the old man untied me, untied me from under the legs of the table, and took me outside to play with me like a fisherman with a salmon.There he took off my collar and threw them into the road. Poor puppy, he said, good puppy.She'll never bite you with her stinky mouth again.Damn, she's so embarrassing.Good little dog, let's go, resign yourself to fate, let the car on the road run you over, I wish you happiness. I refuse to leave.I bounced and danced around the old man's legs like a pug rolling on the rug. Good old lice-ridden groundhog-chaser, I said to him, good old out-of-towner who knows how to chase hares and steal eggs, can't you see that I don't want to leave you?Can't you see that we're both puppies in the woods, and the mistress is a cruel parent, and the mistress is a ruthless pawnbroker who's either waving a dish towel and driving you around like hell, or giving I'm dressed up in a weird way, are you going to put lice repellant on me?Why don't you cut the mess quickly, get out of the sea of ​​suffering, and we two will be companions for the rest of our lives? Maybe, you will say that he doesn't understand anything, maybe he doesn't understand.But he clung to the Scotch and stood still for a minute, thinking. Puppy, he finally spoke, we don’t have nine lives to live in this life, and few of us can live past three hundred years.I'll be a fool if I see that house again, and you'll be a fool if you go back; that's not a compliment.I'll bet you a dachshund's worth of distance if we run west together.I lose sixty yuan, and you lose one yuan. 【Note】A German terrier. There was no strap on me anymore, but I ran up and down behind my master's front legs and followed him all the way to the Twenty-third Street ferry.The cats along the way felt grateful that the four threatening claws had been neutralized. On the Jersey side, the owner said to a stranger standing eating raisin bread: Me and my puppy, we're going to the Rockies. [Note] 23rd Street in Manhattan, New York City faces the East River to the east and the Hudson River to the west, and Jersey City faces Manhattan across the Hudson River. But what made me happiest was when the old man pulled my ears so hard that I was barking, when he said: You unremarkable, gossip, yellow-skinned, skinny shoe-sole with a hairless tail Puppy, do you know what I'll call you? I thought of my little lover, so I whimpered and wailed.I'll just call you Pete.said the master.Even if I have five tails, it is not enough for me to wag at this time.