Chapter 21 Chapter 21

But about a week later, Michael brought her up. Hey, you heard a guy named Avis.Creighton girl? Never heard of it. People told me she was very nice.Said she was a lady, blah, blah.Her father served in the Army.I'm thinking about whether she can play Ona (Note: The role of the girl in "The Times".). Where did you hear her from? From Tom's mouth.He knew her and said she was smart.She will be performing in a Sunday night repertoire.In fact it was next Sunday.He said he thought it might be worth visiting. Well, why don't you go and have a look? I'm going to Sandwich (Note: Sandwich, a seaport in Kent in southeastern England.) to play golf.If you go to see it, will you feel too bored?I reckon the scene is bad, but you can see if it's worth having her read the character's lines.Tom will accompany you.

Julia's heart beat suddenly quickened. Of course I will. She called Tom and told him to come over and have something to eat before going to the theater.She's not ready yet, he's here. Am I late, or are you early?she said as she walked into the living room. She could see that he was getting impatient.He was nervous and anxious. They rang the opening bell at eight o'clock sharp, and he said, I don't like to arrive until the show starts. His excitement told her all she needed to know.She savored the hors d'oeuvres without haste. What's the name of the actress we're going to see tonight?she asked.

Avis.Creighton.I am anxious to know what you think of her.I think she's a rare rookie.She knows you are going tonight.She was very nervous, but I told her not to be nervous.You know what these Sunday night plays are like; it's all made up; He kept looking at his watch while eating dinner.Julia plays a sophisticated woman.She talked this and that, noticing that he was listening absentmindedly.Every chance he got, he brought the conversation back to Avis.Creighton. Of course, I haven't spoken to her yet, but I believe she is very suitable to play Ona.He had read The Times, and like all the plays Julia played, he always read them before he acted.She's just like the character, I'm sure of that.She has experienced hard struggles, and this time is naturally an excellent opportunity for her.She adores you so much that she wished she could act in the same play as you.

This is understandable.This means that there is an opportunity to perform for a year, and many theater managers can see her. Her hair and skin are fair and fair; she matches you just right. Some people dyed their hair light blonde, others bleached their hair with hydrogen peroxide, and there was no shortage of blondes on stage. But her hair is natural. Yeah?I got a long letter from Roger this morning.It seems he is having a great time in Vienna. Tom was uninterested.He looks at his watch. When the coffee was brought, Julia said it was undrinkable.She said it had to be re-cooked for her.

Oh, Julia, there's no point cooking it.We will be considerably late. I guess it doesn't matter if I don't see the first few minutes. His voice sounded like he was about to cry. I promise we won't be late.Almost right at the beginning, she has a really good scene. Sorry, but I can't go without coffee. While they waited for coffee, she continued to chat and laugh.He doesn't talk much.He looked anxiously at the door.When the coffee came, she sipped it maddeningly slowly. When they got into the car, he opened his mouth angrily and stared ahead without saying a word, full of cold resentment.Julia was not without a sense of elation.They arrived at the theater two minutes before the opening, and there was a burst of applause as soon as Julia appeared in the theater.Julia apologized to the audience for disturbing her, and squeezed into the front row of seats in the center of the hall.She responded with a slight smile to the applause that welcomed her in at just the right moment, but her downcast gaze humbly disclaimed that it had anything to do with her.

The curtain rises, and after a short scene, two girls enter, one very young and beautiful, the other much older and plain.Presently Julia turned to Tom and whispered: Which one is Avis.Creighton, the younger one or the older one? that young. Oh, of course, you said she was beautiful, didn't you? She cast a glance in his face.His sullen expression was gone; a pleasant smile danced on his lips.Julia turned her attention to the stage.Avis.Creighton was handsome, no one could deny, with fine fair hair, pretty blue eyes, and a small straight nose; but Julia did not like the type. No charm, she thought to herself.Showgirl style.

She watched her performance for a few minutes.She looked at it seriously; then she leaned back in her chair and sighed softly. She can't act at all, she concluded secretly. Tom turned to her eagerly as the curtain fell.He completely restrained his temper. what do you think of her She is picturesquely beautiful. I know that.But what about her acting?You think she's nice, don't you? Yes, smart. I wish you could go over and say that to her yourself.This will be a great encouragement to her. I? He didn't realize what he was asking her to do.Never heard of her, Julia.Lambert, going backstage to congratulate an actress in a small role.

I promised her to take you there after the second act.Do yourself a favor, Julia.She will be grateful. (Asshole. Fucking asshole. OK, I'll get to the bottom of it.) Of course, if you think it makes sense to her, I'm happy to go. After the second act, they went through the iron gate, and Tom led her to Avis.Creighton's powder room.She shared the dressing-room with the plain girl who had been with her at the beginning.Tom introduced her.She stretched out a limp hand somewhat artificially. It's an honor to meet you, Miss Lambert.This dressing room is so ugly, can you excuse me?But it's no fun trying to make it presentable just for one night.

She is not at all timid.Indeed, she seemed confident. (Very tough. Eyes open for the best opportunity. Putting on airs like the colonel's daughter to me.) thank you for coming.I'm afraid this play won't make it into a play, but as a fledgling like me, I can only be accommodating and play whatever I have.I was pretty skeptical when they showed me the script, but I love the character. You did a great job, said Julia. Thank you very much for your compliment.I wish we could rehearse a few more times.I really want you to see how well I can play. Yeah, you know, I've been in this business for many years.I have always believed that if a person has talent, he will always show it.Don't you think so?

I know what you mean.Of course I need more and more experience, I know that, but really I just need a chance.I know I can act.Hopefully I can get a character that I can actually play to the fullest. She waited a moment for Julia to say that there was just such a role for her in her next play, but Julia went on smiling at her.Julia was amused with the utmost disgust that she herself should be taken for a curate's wife, while the landowner's wife was condescending to one another. Have you been on stage for a long time?she asked at last, seeming strange how I had never heard of you. Well, I was in the cabaret for a while, but I thought it was just a waste of time.I've been touring out of town for the last season.I don't want to leave London if I can.

The business is overcrowded, Julia said. Oh, I know.There's little hope unless you have access or something.I hear you're about to put on a new play. Yes. Julia was still smiling, almost unbearably kind. If there is a role for me in the play, I would be very happy to share the stage with you.Unfortunately, Mr. Gosling was not able to make it tonight. I'll tell him about you. do you really think i have a chanceIn her self-assurance, in the country-house airs she assumed to impress Julia, ran through a kind of impatience.It would be a great help if you could put in a good word for me. Julia looked at her thoughtfully. I listen to my husband more than he listens to me, she said with a smile. When Julia and Tom left the dressing room, let Avis.As Creighton changed for the third act, she saw Avis give Tom a questioning look as she said goodbye.Although Julia did not see him move, she felt him shake his head slightly.At this moment, her senses were particularly sharp, and she translated the silent dialogue into words: Come to dinner later? No, damn it, I can't, I have to take her home. Julia listened sternly to the lines in the third act.Since the play was serious, the look was also fitting.At the end of the play, after a pale, terribly tired playwright came up and stammered a speech, Tom asked her where she wanted to go for supper. Let's go home and talk, she said, and if you're hungry, I'm sure we'll find something to eat in the kitchen. Did you mean Stanhope Square? Yes. All right! She thought he was relieved that she wasn't going back to his apartment.He was silent in the car, and she understood that he was troubled by having to go back with her.She figured someone was throwing a dinner party, Avis.Creighton was going, and he wanted to be there. When their car arrived home, the house was dark and empty.The servants are all asleep.Julia suggested looking for something to eat in the basement. I don't want to eat anything unless you want it, he said, and I'll just have a whiskey and soda and go back to bed.I will have a lot of work in the office tomorrow. All right.Take the wine to the living room.I'm going to turn on the light. She was doing her makeup in front of the mirror when he came up, and she continued to do so until he had poured his whiskey and sat down.Then she turned around.How young he looked, in that pretty suit, sitting in that big armchair over there, so unspeakably handsome, all the pain she had felt that night, all the pain of the past few days. Jealousy was instantly dispelled by her strong lust.She sat down on the arm of his chair and fondled his hair with her hands.He flinched back angrily. Come on, he said, I hate messing up my hair. It was like a sharp knife piercing her heart.He had never spoken to her in such a tone.But she laughed easily, got up, took the whiskey he poured her out of the table, and sat down on a chair opposite him.What he did and said just now was instinctive, and he was a little embarrassed.He avoided her gaze at him, and his face tightened again.This is the moment of truth.They were silent for a while.Julia's heart was pounding painfully, but she finally forced herself to speak. Tell me, she said with a smile, you and Avis.Did Creighton sleep? Of course not, he said aloud. why not?She is very beautiful. She is not that kind of girl.I respect her. Julia let no emotion show on her face.Oddly enough, she was as poised as if she were talking about the decline and fall of empires, ancient and modern, or the death of emperors. do you know what i should sayI should say you are madly in love with her.He still avoided her gaze.Perhaps you are engaged to her? No. He looked at her now, but there was hostility in the eyes that met hers. Have you ever asked her to marry you? How can I?A goddamn rascal like me. He spoke so passionately that Julia was shocked. what are you talking about? Hey, why beat around the bush?How can I ask a decent girl to marry me?I'm just a child raised and played with, God knows, you should know best. Don't be a fool.I got you some little presents, what's all the fuss about? I shouldn't have taken it.I have always understood that this is not right.All this happened step by step so imperceptibly, until I fell deeply into it.I don't have the money to live the life you make me live; I've made financial difficulties.I have to take your money. What's wrong?After all, I am a very rich woman. To hell with your money. He was holding a glass in his hand, and on impulse he threw it into the fireplace.The cup shattered. You don't have to spoil this happy family, said Julia dryly. sorry.I didn't do it on purpose.He slumped back into the chair and turned his head away.I am truly ashamed.It's not a good thing when a person loses self-esteem. Julia hesitated.She didn't know what to say. It also seems natural to help you when you are in trouble.This is a relief to me. I get it, you've done a great job of it.You almost convince me that I am doing you a favor by paying my debt.You make me feel comfortable behaving like a rogue. I'm sorry you feel that way about it. She spoke in a rather sharp tone.She was starting to get a little annoyed. You have nothing to regret.You need me, so you bought me.It's none of your business if I'm so mean as to sell myself out. How long have you had this thought? I thought so at the beginning. Not so. She knew that what had awakened his conscience was his sudden love for the girl he believed to be innocent.Poor fool!Doesn't he know if Avis.Creighton thought an assistant stage manager could get her a role and she'd sleep with him? If you love Avis .Creighton, why don't you tell me the truth?He looked at her pitifully, but did not answer.Are you afraid that speaking out will affect her chances of getting a role in the new play?You should know me well by now. I will never let my feelings affect my business. He could hardly believe his ears. What do you mean by that? I think she's really a rookie.I will say to Michael, I think she has a lot going for her. Oh, Julia, you are a wonderful person.I never knew you were such an unusual woman. You should have asked, and I would have told you. He breathed a sigh of relief. My dear, how much I like you. I know, I love you deeply too.It's a pleasure to walk around with you, and you're always so well dressed, you're a compliment to any woman.I love sleeping with you and I think you love sleeping with me too.But let's face it, I never loved you any more than you never loved me.I knew this would not last long.Sooner or later you're bound to fall in love with someone, and that's the end of our business.Now you're in love, aren't you? Yes. She made up her mind to force him to say this sentence, but when he said it, the pain he gave her was extremely heavy.But she smiled nonchalantly. We've had some really good times together, don't you think it's time to call it a day? She spoke so naturally, almost jokingly, that no one would have guessed that the pain in her heart could be so unbearable.She waited with trepidation for his answer to her words. I'm so sorry, Julia, I must regain my pride.He looked at her with puzzled eyes.Are you not mad at me? For you have transferred your capricious affection from me to Avis.On Creighton?There was a mischievous smile in her eyes.My dear, of course not angry.After all, your favorite is still in the drama circle. I am so grateful for everything you have done for me.I hope you don't think me ungrateful. Oh my dear, don't tell such lies.I didn't do anything for you.She stood up.You should go now.You have a lot of work to do in your office tomorrow, and I'm exhausted too. This made him let go of a big stone in his heart.He wasn't very happy about it, though, for he was puzzled by the tone of her voice, which was so sweet and slightly ironic at the same time; he felt a little despondent.He went up to her and kissed her goodbye.She hesitated for a moment, then with a friendly smile, she leaned up to kiss him on one cheek, then the other. You know how to get out, don't you?She pressed her hand to her mouth to cover a yawn that was feigned.Oh, I'm so sleepy. As soon as he left, she turned off the light and walked to the window.She peeped carefully through the slit in the curtain.She heard him slam the front door shut and watched him go out.He looked to the left and right.She guessed at once that he must be looking for a taxi.He couldn't see a car in front of him, so he walked towards the park.She knew he was going to a dinner party with Avis.Creighton meets to report the good news to her. Julia sank down on a chair.She had done a good play, and was exhausted by now.Tears, tears that no one could see, rolled down her cheeks.She was devastated.The only thing that made her bear the pain was the icy contempt she could not help feeling for the foolish boy, who would willingly abandon her for a small actress who could not even act. There is no knowledge yet.It's just ridiculous.Not only can she not use both hands, she doesn't even know how to walk on stage. If I had any sense of humour, I'd laugh my ass off, she exclaimed. It's the best joke I've ever heard. She wondered what Tom would do in the future.Rent is due on that apartment by the quarterly closing dates (note: in the UK these are March 25th, June 24th, September 29th and December 25th.).Most of the things in the room belonged to her.He was unlikely to want to go back to his bedroom-sitting room in Tavistock Square.She thought of the friends he had made through her.Among them he appeared clever and competent.They find him useful, and he will maintain a relationship with them.However, it was not so easy for him to run around with Avis.She was a difficult, money-minded little thing, Julia was sure of that, and she was unlikely to take him to heart until he could not spend so readily.She pretended to be chaste, and the fool would be fooled!Julia knew the way.It was obvious that she was just using Tom to get her a part at the Siddons Theatre, and when he got the part, she would throw him out of the sky.Thinking of this, Julia jumped up.She had promised Tom that Avis would get a part in "The Times" because it was in one of her plays, but she didn't take what she said seriously.In the end it was up to Michael to make the decision. For God's sake, I'm going to give her the part, she said aloud.She chuckled maliciously.God knows, I'm a woman with a good temper, but there's a limit to everything. She thought of what she would do to Tom and Avis.Creighton fought back fiercely and turned the tables, feeling very proud of himself.She had been sitting in the dark, plotting viciously how this was to be done.But she cried from time to time, because in the depths of her subconscious, the painful memories were overwhelming.Remembering Tom's slender youthful body against her own, his warm naked body and those lips that gave her a strange feeling, his smile that was shy and mischievous, and the smell of his curls . If I hadn't been an idiot, I wouldn't have said a word at the time.Now I should know him.He's just infatuated.He would come to his senses and come back to me hungrily. She was terribly tired at the moment.She got up and went to bed.She took some sleeping potions.