Chapter 24 Chapter Twenty-Four

On Wednesday morning, Julia had her face massaged and her hair permed.She couldn't decide whether to wear a set of printed organdy or a white satin one, the former is very beautiful and full of spring, reminiscent of Botticelli's "Spring" (Note: Botticelli is Italian Renaissance painter, "Spring" and "The Birth of Venus" are his two masterpieces.), the latter is cut cleverly, fully showing her virginal slender figure; but when she was bathing, she decided to In white satin: it signifies very subtly that she made this sacrifice on purpose, atonement for her long ingratitude to Michael.The only jewelry she wore was a pearl necklace and a diamond bracelet; besides her wedding ring, there was only one with a baguette diamond.She had thought of a light tan that would suit her like a girl who lived an outdoor life, but she thought of what was to come and dismissed the idea.She couldn't have done a good job of wearing tan all over her body, like the actor who painted Othello in black.

Julia, always a punctual woman, was coming down the stairs when the front door was opened to welcome Charles.She greeted him with a tender look, with a mischievous charm and affection. Charles had grown his thinning gray hair long now, and his remarkable features of a wise man had drooped a little with age; It's a strange world we live in, Julia thought.Actors try to look like gentlemen, and gentlemen try to look like actors. She undoubtedly had the proper effect on him.He gave her a very apt introduction. Why are you so pretty tonight?he asks. Because I look forward to having dinner with you.

She looked into his with pretty, expressive eyes.Her lips parted slightly, as charmingly as she had seen in Romney's portrait of Mrs Hamilton. They dined at the Savoy.The head waiter gave them a table by the aisle, where they could be seen prominently.Even though people were supposed to be out of London, the grill room was packed.Julia nodded and smiled at the various friends she saw.Charles had much to say to her; she listened with the greatest interest, to please him. You are the best mate in the world, Charles, she told him. They came late and ate comfortably, and by the time Charles had finished his brandy people were already arriving for supper.

Whew, is the theater all over?He said, looking at his watch.With you, time flies so fast.Do you think they are going to drive us away? I don't want to sleep yet. I think Michael will be home soon! I think so. Why don't you come to my house and talk for a while? This is what she calls taking stage cues. Glad to do so, she replied, matching her tone with a slight blush that she felt matched her cheeks. They got into his car and drove to Hill Street.He took her into his study.The study is on the ground floor, facing a small garden.The French windows were open.They sit down on the sofa.

Turn off some lights and bring night into the room, Julia said.She quotes a line from The Merchant of Venice.It was such a night that the fragrant wind gently rubbed the leaves (Note: Act V, Scene 1 of the play) Charles turned out all but one shaded lamp; he sat down again, and she leaned against him.He put an arm around her waist and she rested her head on his shoulder. This is heaven, she whispered. I have missed you so much these past few months. Have you ever messed around? Well, I bought a painting by Ingres (Note: French classicist painter, good at portraiture, with masterpieces such as "Fountain" and "The Bather".) and spent a lot of money.Before you go, I must show you.

do not forget.Where do you put this painting? As soon as she entered his house, she wondered whether the seduction would take place in the study or upstairs. In my bedroom, he replied. That would be much more comfortable, she thought. She could not help laughing to herself at the thought that poor old Charles had conceived such a simple little scheme to bring her into his bedroom.What fools are men!Shyness, that's what's wrong with them.She thought of Tom, and suddenly a sharp pain pierced her breast.Damn Tom.Charles was indeed very sweet, and she was determined to finally reward him for his years of infatuation.

You have always been a good friend of mine, Charles, she said to him in a low, somewhat husky voice.She turned a little so that her face was very close to his, and her lips were parted a little like Mrs Hamilton's.I'm afraid I haven't always been nice to you. She looked so tender and submissive, like a ripe peach waiting to be picked, and it seemed that he was going to kiss her.At that time, she will use two white and tender arms to wrap his head and neck.He merely smiled, however. You should never say that.You are always the best. (He's scared, poor little darling.) I don't think anybody ever loved me like you.

He squeezed her lightly. I still am.You know that.I don't have any other woman in my life but you. But since he ignored her advanced lips, she turned back a little.She pondered, looking at the electric stove.Too bad it wasn't open.The occasion calls for a stove. How different things would have been if we had run away together.Hi! She never knew what hey meant, but they always said it on stage, always with a sigh, and it sounded sad to her ears. Britain would thus lose its greatest actress.I see now how odiously selfish I was in making that claim. Success is not everything.Sometimes I wonder if, in fulfilling my stupid little ambitions, I am missing the greatest things.After all love is the only thing that matters.Now she looked at him again with soft, charming eyes, more beautiful than ever.You know what, I think if I could go back in time now, I'd say take me away.

She reached down with one hand and took his.He shook it gracefully. Ah, my dear. I often think about our dream villa.Olive trees and oleanders, and the blue sea.There was peace.Sometimes I feel chilled because life is dull and vulgar.What you offered me then was beauty.It's too late now, I know; I didn't realize how much I loved you, and I never dreamed that you would become more and more important to me as time went by. I am delighted to hear you say this, my dear.How much it makes up for. I would do anything for you, Charles.I used to be too selfish.I ruined your life and I don't even know what I was doing.

Her voice was low and trembling, and she threw her head back so that her neck looked like a white column.Her bare-shouldered dress exposed a portion of her small, firm breasts, which she lifted slightly forward with her hands. You must never say that, you must never think like that, he replied softly.You are always perfect.I don't want you to be any different.Oh my dear, life is short and love is so fleeting.The tragedy of life is that we sometimes get what we want.Now looking back on the long years we've been together, I know you're smarter than me.In your form, is it not haunted by ancient legends, bordered by green leaves? (Note: This sentence and the following verses are all quoted from "Ode to Ancient Greek Porcelain" written by Keats, a British romantic poet.) Do you remember what follows?You'll never, never be kissed, close enough but don't feel bad; she won't grow old, though you can't get what you want, you'll always love her, and she'll always be beautiful!

(Idiot!) What a beautiful line, she sighed.perhaps you're right.Hi. He continued to recite.It was a move of his which Julia had always found rather repulsive. O happy trees!your branches never flakes, never leaves the spring, The happy piper does not rest, His songs are always fresh This gave Julia a chance to think.She stared blankly at the unturned electric stove with focused eyes, as if intoxicated by the beauty of these verses.It was obvious that he hadn't heeded her intentions at all.This is no surprise.For twenty years she had turned a deaf ear to his fervent pleas, so it was only natural that he should have given up on it.It's like Mount Everest: if the stoic mountaineers, after so long and arduously trying in vain to reach the summit, found an easy rung to the summit, they would simply won't be able to believe their eyes; they'll think there must be something wrong here.Julia felt that she must make herself clearer; she must, so to speak, lend a hand to the weary pilgrim. It's late, she said softly, you can show me the newly bought paintings, and then I have to go back. He stood up, and she held out her hands to him so that he could help her up from the couch.They went upstairs together.His pajamas and dressing gown were neatly arranged on a chair. How well you bachelors have arranged for yourselves.What a comfortable and harmonious bedroom. He took down the framed painting on the wall and showed it to her to look at in the light.It was a pencil drawing of a sturdy woman in a strapped hat and a topless gown with puff sleeves.Julia thought her plain and ridiculous in her dress. Wouldn't it be intoxicating?she said aloud. I know you will like it.A nice picture, isn't it? Fantastic. He rehangs the little painting on the nail.When he turned around, she was standing by the bed, her hands folded behind her back, a bit like a Circassian slave girl being led by the chief eunuch to the grand vizier. Er (Note: The title of the Prime Minister of the Islamic State.) looked over; there was a hint of shyness and withdrawal in her air, a kind of delicate timidity, and at the same time the expectation of a virgin who was about to enter her kingdom.Julia sighed slightly lewdly. What a night my dear.I feel closer to you than I have ever felt before. She slowly raised her hands from behind, grasping the best timing, which she grasped so naturally, stretched forward, spread her arms, and opened her palms to the sky, as if holding a precious plate invisibly , with a heart she gave on it.Her beautiful eyes were soft and submissive, and there was a manipulative smile on her lips. She saw the smile on Charles' face froze.He has fully understood. (Christ, he doesn't want me. He's all playing tricks.) This revelation stunned her for a moment. (God, what am I going to do? I must be considered a goddamn fool.) She has almost lost her psychological balance completely.She had to react like lightning.He stood looking at her, trying to hide his embarrassment.Julia panicked.She didn't know what to do with the hands holding the precious plate; God knows, they were small hands, but now they looked like two legs of mutton hanging there.She didn't know what to say.Every second made her pose and her situation more embarrassing. (Damn bastard, dirty bastard. Been teasing me for years.) She did the only thing she could do.She keeps that pose.Counting one, two, three, so as not to move too quickly, she brought her hands closer together until they could hold each other, then, throwing her head back, raised them very slowly to the side of her neck.The gesture she made was just as beautiful as the previous one, and it was this gesture that inspired her to say something.Her deep, round voice trembled with excitement. I look back and I am very glad to think that we have nothing to blame.The sorrow of life is not death, the sorrow of life is the death of love. (She once heard something like that in a play.) If we had been lovers, you would have been tired of me long ago, and now we look back and regret our weakness?What did that line about Shelley you read just now say about growing old? It was Keats, he corrected.She won't grow old, although you can't get your wish. Exactly this sentence.Read on. She is stalling for time. You will always love and she will always be beautiful. She opened her arms in a wide-open position and tossed her curly head upward.She has something to say. It's true, isn't it?You will always love, and I will always be beautiful.What fools we would be if we lost in a few moments of madness the incomparable joy of our friendship.We have nothing to be ashamed of now.We are clean and clear.We can hold our heads high and face the world. She instinctively realized that this was an exit line, so she used her actions to match her words, raised her head, retreated to the door, and opened the door quickly.She carried the atmosphere of the scene all the way downstairs with this powerful movement.Then she let the atmosphere dissipate, and said to Charles who was following her very naturally: my cape. The car is over there, and while putting the cape on her, he said, I will drive you back. No, let me go back alone.I want to engrave the scene of this hour on my heart.Kiss me before I go. She looked up and sent her lips to him.He kissed her on the lips.But she struggled free, stifled her sobs, pushed open the door, and ran towards the waiting car. When she got home, she stood in her bedroom and let out a loud, hearty sigh of relief. The bloody bastard.I was so tricked.Thank God, I finally got out.He's such a fool, I don't think he'll know what I'm trying to do.But his frozen smile unnerved her.He may have been suspicious, but he could not be sure, and then he must have been convinced that his suspicions were wrong.My God, what the hell did I say.I have to say, it seems like he's totally convinced.Thankfully I figured it out in time.In a minute I'll be undressed.Then you can't easily get out of trouble with a smile. Julia chuckled.The situation humiliated her, he made her a damned fool, but if you had a sense of humor you couldn't help seeing that there was an amusing side to the situation.She regretted that no one had listened to her story; it was a good story, even if it was dishonorable to her.What grudges her is that she has been taken for granted by the comedy of devotion and fidelity he has put on all these years; Obviously never asked to be rewarded for his loyalty. Tricked me, he did, he totally tricked me. But a thought flashed into Julia's mind suddenly, and she stopped smiling.When a woman makes advances to a man and is rejected, she often comes to two conclusions: one is that he is gay, the other that he is impotent.Julia thought as she lit a cigarette.She asked herself if Charles was using his constant love for her as a smokescreen to distract attention from his true love.But she shook her head.If he had been gay, she would have gotten a little wind; after all, in post-war society people literally talked about homosexuality.Of course it's quite possible that he's impotent.She calculated his age.Poor Charles.She laughed again.If so, then it was not she who was put in an awkward and even comical situation, but he.He must have been terrified, the poor little darling.Apparently this was something a man would rather not tell a woman, especially if he was madly in love with her;She felt a deep pity for him, almost a motherly feeling in fact. I know what I have to do, she said, and began to undress, tomorrow I will give him a large bouquet of white lilies (Note: Lilies symbolize purity.).