Chapter 13 Thirteen

I knew it would be more appropriate to decline his invitation.I thought maybe I should show how outraged I really feel, and if I could report to them on my return how I flatly refused an invitation to dine with a man of this character, at least Colonel MacAndrew would think well of me. .But I'm always afraid that I won't be able to play the play myself, and that I won't be able to play it to the end, which prevents me from pretending to be sanctimonious.Besides, I knew for certain that my performance would have no repercussions on Strickland, which made it all the more difficult for me to say my resignation.Only poets and saints can firmly believe that hard watering on asphalt will grow lilies.

I paid the bill and walked with him to a cheap restaurant.We had a hearty dinner in this crowded and lively restaurant.We both have good appetites, me from youth, he from a dull conscience.After this we went to a hotel for coffee and rum. I have said all that has to be said about the business which has brought me to Paris, though it seems to me treacherous to Mrs. Strickland to let it go so half-heartedly. But he could no longer fight against Strickland's indifference.Only a woman can repeat the same thing three times with unrelenting enthusiasm.I consoled myself with thinking that it would be useful for me to try to understand Strickland's state of mind.Besides, I am more interested in this.But it was not an easy task, for Strickland was not a man of words.He seemed to have difficulty in expressing himself, as if words were not the instruments of his soul.You must guess at his soul's intentions by his well-worn phrases, his crude slang, his vague and incomplete gestures.But though he couldn't say anything meaningful, there was something in his character that made you think he was anything but boring.Perhaps this is because he is very sincere.He didn't seem very curious about Paris he saw for the first time (I didn't count the honeymoon with his wife), and he didn't seem surprised by the sights that must have been very new to him.I have been to Paris at least a hundred times, but every time I come, I am inevitably excited and my heart is erratic. Walking on the streets of Paris, I always feel that I will experience an adventure at any time.Strickland remained quite still.Looking back on it now, I think he saw nothing at all, but visions that stirred his soul.

Then something absurd happened.There were several whores in the tavern; some sat with the men, some alone.We hadn't been inside long before I noticed that one of them kept glancing at us.When her eyes met Strickland's, she smiled at him.I don't think Strickland paid any attention to her.She left the tavern after a while, but came in again; and, passing us, she politely asked us to buy her something to drink.She sat down and I chatted with her, but her target was clearly Strickland.I told her that he knew only a few words of French.She tried a few words with him, partly by gestures, partly in the poor foreigner's French, which she thought, for some reason, would be easier for him to understand, and besides, she could speak a half-dozen words of English.Sometimes she could only speak in French, and she asked me to translate for her, and asked me eagerly for the meaning of his reply.Strickland was very good-natured, and even thought it was a little funny, but he obviously didn't take her seriously.

I think you have conquered a heart.I said with a smile. I don't feel complacent. Had I been in his place, I would have been embarrassed and not as calm as he.This woman has a pair of smiling eyes and a very cute mouth.She is very young.I wondered what she found attractive in Strickland.Not trying to hide her request at all, she asked me to translate everything she said. She wants you to take her home. I don't need women.he answered. I tried to be as tactful as possible in his answer; I thought it would be rather impolite to decline such an invitation.I explained to her that he refused because he had no money.

But I like him, she said, and told him it was for love. When I translated her words, Strickland shrugged impatiently. Tell her to fuck off.He said. His expression clearly showed what he meant, and the girl threw her head back all of a sudden.Maybe her face was flushed under her makeup too.She stood up. This gentleman is too impolite.she says. She walked out of the tavern, and I felt a little offended. I don't see why you have to insult her like this, I said, anyway, she still thinks highly of you. This kind of thing sickens me.he said angrily. I eyed him curiously for a while.There was indeed a look of disgust on his face, but it was a rough, sexy face.I guess it was the roughness of his face that attracted the girl.

I can get all the women I want in London, that's not what I came to Paris for.