Chapter 29 twenty nine

I was silent for a while, thinking about what Stroeve had told me.I can't stand his cowardice, and he can see that I don't think so of him. You know as well as I do what Strickland's life is, he said in a trembling voice, and I can't let her live in that kind of environment I just can't. This is your business.I answer. If this happened to you, what would you do?he asks. She walked away with her eyes open.If she had to suffer, it was her own fault. You're right, but, you know, you don't love her. Do you still love her now? ah!love more than ever.Strickland was not a man who could make a woman happy.This thing can't last long.I want her to know that I will never fail her hopes.

Do you mean that you are still going to take her in? I will not hesitate at all.Then she'll need me more than ever.When she's abandoned, humiliated, broken, and has nowhere to go, it's terrible. Stroeve did not seem at all angry with her.Maybe I am too ordinary, so I am a little annoyed at his lack of backbone.He probably guessed what I was thinking, because he said this: I can't expect her to love me the way I love her.I'm Joker.I'm not the kind of man that women fall in love with.I have known this for a long time.If she's in love with Strickland, I can't blame her.

I've never met anyone who has no self-respect like you!I said. I love her far more than I love myself.I think there can only be one reason for self-esteem to be considered in matters of love: you still love yourself the most.After all, it was not uncommon for a married man to fall in love with someone else, and often, when his enthusiasm had passed, he returned to his wife, and she was reconciled to him.This kind of thing is considered natural by everyone.If men are like this, why should women be an exception? I admit that what you said is very logical, I smiled, but most men do not have this kind of mentality, and it is impossible for them to treat this matter like this.

All the while I was talking to Stroeve in this way, I kept thinking that the suddenness of this incident puzzled me.It is unimaginable that he would have been kept in the dark beforehand.I remembered the Blanche I had seen.Stroeve's strange eyes, she may have been vaguely aware of her feelings, and she was shocked. Didn't you suspect anything between the two of them before today?I asked him. He didn't answer my question right away.There was a pencil on the table, and he took it up and sketched a head on blotting paper. If you don't like me asking you this question, just say so.I said.

I felt a little happier when I said it.Well, if only you knew how miserable I was, he threw the pencil on the table, yes, I've known it since two weeks ago.I knew it before she knew it herself. Then why don't you send Strickland away? I don't believe it, I don't think it's possible.She hates this man so much.Such a thing is impossible, almost unbelievable.I thought it was my jealousy at work.You know, I've always been very jealous, but I've trained myself not to show it.I'm jealous of everyone she knows, even you.I know she doesn't love me like I love her.It's only natural, isn't it?But she allows me to love her, so I feel happy.I forced myself to go outside for hours at a time, leaving the two of them alone.I think I'm degrading me by doubting her like this, and I'm going to punish myself.But when I came back from the outside, I found that they didn't need me. Strickland didn't need me. It didn't matter to him whether I was at home or not. I mean, I found that Blanche didn't need me.She shuddered when I went over to kiss her.In the end I knew it was absolutely true, but I didn't know what to do.I knew that if I made a scene, it would only cause them to laugh.I figured if I pretended I didn't see anything and didn't bring it up, maybe it would be over.I made up my mind to send him away quietly without quarreling.Well, if only I could tell you the pain in my heart!

Then he repeated the story of telling Strickland to move out.He chose his moment carefully, and he tried to sound casual, but he couldn't help himself.His voice trembled, and the words that were intended to be kind and funny revealed jealous anger.He did not expect that as soon as he said it, Strickland agreed and packed up his things immediately.What surprised him most was that his wife was going with Strickland.It can be seen that he is very remorseful, and really hopes that he can continue to bear it.He would rather endure the torment of jealousy than the pain of separation. I tried to kill him, only to embarrass myself in vain.

He was silent for a while, and finally he said what I knew was pent up in his heart. If I had waited a few more days, maybe nothing would have happened.I really shouldn't be so impatient.Ah, poor child, I have driven her to this point! I shrugged my shoulders, but said nothing.Me to Blanche.Stroeve was not at all sympathetic, but I knew that if I told poor Dirk the truth I would only increase his suffering. By this time he was exhausted and unable to control himself, so he just kept talking.He repeated what everyone had said during the turmoil.Now he remembered something he forgot to tell me, and now he was discussing with me what he should have said and not that.He was terribly distressed at his blindness, regretting something he had done, blaming himself for something he hadn't done.The night wore on, and at last I was as tired as he was.

What are you going to do now?I finally asked him. what can i doI can only wait for her to call me back. Why don't you go out for a walk? No, no.If she needs, I must let her be able to find me. He seemed to have no idea what to do at hand.He has no plans.Finally I suggested that he should go to sleep for a while, he said he couldn't sleep, he would go out for a walk all night.Of course, I must not leave him alone under such circumstances.I persuaded him to spend the night with me, and I put him in my bed.In the living room I also have a set of couches that I can sleep on.He was exhausted by this time, so I went to bed according to my idea.I gave him some verona, and he was able to sleep a few hours in a state of unconsciousness.I think this is the best help I can give him.