Chapter 10 ten

It was a Saturday morning, and I was out hunting for birds in Petrovna's vegetable garden.I haven't caught it for a long time, and the big-looking little birds are jumping between the frost-covered branches. Frost flowers are falling on the ground, and they are shining brightly in the sun.Fortunately, I love the hunting process more, and don't care much about the result. In fact, I like little birds, and I love watching them jump around. How good it feels!I sat on the edge of the snow, listening to the chirping of the birds in the cold and transparent air, and the larks in the distance kept drifting over with melancholy songs in winter, until I could no longer bear the cold, and then I put away the net And the birdcage, climbed over the wall and went home.

The door of the house was wide open, and a coach was parked in the yard, steaming heavily, and the coachman whistling cheerfully.Shocked, I blurted out and asked: Who did you send? The coachman turned and looked at me, jumped into the driver's seat, and said: old priest. Abbe, it has nothing to do with me. I must be looking for some lodger.The coachman whistled, got up the carriage, and left.I walked into the kitchen, and suddenly, my mother's clear words came from the next door: What should I do?kill me? I jumped out the door and bumped into my grandfather head-on.He grabbed my shoulders and stared:

Your mother is here, go!Wait until he grabbed me again, pushed me, but said, go, go! My hands were a little disorganized, I don't know whether it was cold or excited, and it took me a long time to push the door open: Ouch, here we come!Oh my god, I'm so tall!Do you still know me?See his ears are frozen for you to wear, come on, mother, get the goose fat My mother bent down and undressed me, and turned around until I looked like a ball.She was wearing a long red gown with a row of large black buttons slanted from the shoulders to the lower placket.We've never seen clothes like this before.Her eyes are bigger and her hair is more yellow:

Why are not you talking?unhappy?look at the dirty clothes She rubbed goose fat on my ear and it hurt a bit.There was a nice scent on her body, which relieved the pain a little.I leaned against her, unable to speak for a long time. Grandmother is a little upset: He's wild, he's not afraid of anyone, not even his grandfather, oh, Voloya Mom, it's going to be okay, it's going to be okay! Mother is so tall, everything around her seems even smaller.She touches my hair: Time for a haircut.It's time for school.do you miss reading I can already read it. Yeah?Read more!Look how strong you are!

She smiled, very warmly. Grandfather walked in listlessly.Mother pushed me away and said: let me godad. He was silent.Standing scratching the icicles on the window with your fingernails.The silence was so unbearable that my chest nearly burst. Alexey, go!he growled suddenly. What are you doing? !Mother grabbed me, I won't let you go!Mother stands up like a red cloud, Dad, you listen shut up!Grandfather yelled. Please don't shout!Mother said softly. Grandmother stands up: Volvoa! Grandfather sat down: How can you be in such a hurry?ah?But suddenly he yelled again, you have disgraced me, Volya!

get out!Grandmother ordered me. Unhappily, I went to the kitchen, climbed onto the kang, and listened to the sometimes intense and sometimes surprisingly peaceful conversation next door.They were talking about the child born to the mother, and for some reason, the grandfather was very angry.Maybe it was because the mother gave away the child without saying hello to the family. They came to the kitchen.The grandfather looked tired, and the grandmother wiped away tears.The grandmother knelt before the grandfather: For God's sake, spare her!Doesn't that kind of thing happen in the homes of those masters?she's all alone and so pretty please spare her

Grandfather leaned against the wall and sneered: Who have you not spared?Forgive me, forgive me! He suddenly grabbed her shoulder and shouted: But God will not forgive sinners!I'm dying, I still can't live a peaceful life!We didn't end well!Starve to death! Grandmother smiled softly: Old man, it’s nothing special, the big deal is to go beg for food, you are at home, I’ll go beg for it!We won't go hungry! He suddenly laughed, put his arms around his grandmother, and cried again: My fool, my only kin!We've worked hard for them all our lives, and in the end I cried too, jumped off the kang and threw myself into their arms.I cry because I am happy. They have never talked so intimately and harmoniously.I cry because I, too, feel sad.I cried because my mother came suddenly.They hugged me tightly and wept together.

Grandfather whispered: Your mother is here, you go with her!Your grandfather is too fierce, don't want him anymore, huh?Your grandmother only knows how to dote on you, so don't want her anymore, huh?well Suddenly, he pushed me and my grandmother and stood up abruptly: Let's all go, let's go, call her back in a mess!hurry up Grandmother went out immediately.Grandfather lowered his head and wailed: Lord, merciful Lord, have you seen it all? I really don't like the way he talks to God, the beating of the chest is the second, the tone is the main one! Mother came and sat at the table, and the red dress lit up the room.Grandmother and grandfather were sitting on either side of her, and they were talking seriously.Mother's voice was very low, and neither grandmother nor grandfather made a sound, as if she had become their mother.I was so excited and too tired that I fell asleep unconsciously.

At night, my grandmother and grandfather go to vespers.My grandfather put on the uniform of the guild leader, and my grandmother blinked happily and said to my mother: Look, your father is dressed up as a white and clean kid! Mother smiled happily. When only she and I were left in the room, she waved and patted the place around her: Come on, come on, how are you doing, not good, huh? Who knows how I am doing! I have no idea. Did grandpa hit you? Not playing often now! Yeah?Well, just say something! I talked about the very good man before, and my grandfather drove him away.Mother didn't seem interested in the story.she asked:

What else? I told the story of the three brothers again, and the story of the colonel kicking me out.She hugged me and said: all useless She didn't speak for a long time, staring at the floor, shaking her head. Why is grandfather angry with you?I asked. I, I'm sorry for him! You should bring the baby back to him! She shook her body, bit her lip, looked at me strangely, and then laughed loudly: Hi, that's not something you can say.understand?Don't talk, don't even think about it! She spoke a lot sternly, and I couldn't quite understand it.The flames of the candles on the table kept dancing, the dim light of the long burning lamp did not blink, and the silvery moonlight on the window moved silently.Mother walked up and down, looking up at the ceiling, as if looking for something.she asked:

When do you sleep? in a while. Yes, you slept through the day.She sighed. do you want to goI asked. where to goShe asked in surprise, holding my face and looking at it.Tears flowed down her face. What's the matter?I asked. Me, my neck hurts. I understand that it's her heartache, she can't live in this house, she must leave. When you grow up, you must be just like your father!She said, did your grandmother tell you about him? Said. She likes Maxim very much, and he likes her too I know. Mother looked at the candle, frowned, blew it out, and said: This is better! The lamps and shadows were no longer flickering, and the moonlight was clearly printed on the floor, looking so desolate and peaceful. where do you liveI asked. She tried to recall the names of several cities. Where did you get your clothes? I do it by myself.I do everything myself. It was such a pleasure talking to her.Unfortunately, she didn't say a word without asking her.We sat cuddled until the two old men came back.They all smelled of candles and incense, with solemn expressions and kind attitudes.The dinner was extraordinarily sumptuous, and everyone sat cautiously in silence, as if they were afraid of scaring anyone.Later, my mother began to teach me to read, read, and recite poems.We started to have conflicts. There is a poem like this: wide straight road Your spaciousness is a gift from God what ax and shovel will do to you Only the horseshoes are raging, the dust rises and falls Anyway, I can't pronounce it well.My mother said angrily that I was useless.Strangely, I didn't make any mistakes when I read it in my heart, but it changed when I said it.I hate these inexplicable verses. When I get angry, I mispronounce them on purpose and arrange words with similar syllables in random order. I really like this kind of verses that seem to be enchanted. One day, my mother asked me to recite poems, and I blurted out: Road, cheap, chair corner, milk dregs, horseshoe, sink, monk By the time I realize what I'm talking about, it's too late.Mother stood up suddenly, and asked word by word: How is this going? I don't know. You must know, tell me, what's the matter? This is it. What is this. joke Stand in the corner! what?I know why. Stand in the corner! Which corner? She ignored me, just stared at me, and I panicked a little.But there is really no corner to go to: the corner under the icon is a table with some withered flowers and plants on it, a box is placed in another corner, a bed is placed in another corner, and the fourth corner does not exist because the door frame next to the side wall. I don't know what's going on.I whispered. She sat down, was silent for a while, wiped her forehead and cheeks, and asked: Did your grandfather put you in a corner? when? She slapped the table and cried: Usually, any time! Can not remember. Did you know it was a punishment? have no idea.Why punish me? She sighed: Come here, alas! I go over: What's the matter? Why did you pronounce the poem that way on purpose? I explained for a long time, saying how these poems are in my heart, but when I read them, they lost their shape. Are you pretending to be garlic? No no, but, maybe. I recited the poem without haste, and it was absolutely right!I was surprised myself, but I couldn't step down.I stood there shyly, tears streaming down my face. How is this going?The mother changed her voice and asked, that is to say, are you pretending? I don't know either You are not very big but quite difficult to deal with, let's go!She lowered her head and said nothing. She made me recite more and more poems, and I was always trying to rewrite these boring lines, and some unnecessary words swarmed in, making me unable to remember the original lines anyway. There is a very sad poem: whether it is early or late, orphans and beggars Looking for relief in the name of Christ, And the third line: Walking past the window with a food basket, I can't remember it at all, so I must throw it away.Mother angrily told this to grandfather; he said harshly: He did it on purpose!This kid has a good memory, he remembers prayers better than me!If you beat him hard, he will stop making trouble! Grandmother also said: Fairy tales can be memorized, and songs can also be memorized. Isn’t poetry, songs and fairy tales the same? I also find it strange that when I recite a poem, many irrelevant words and sentences jump out, like a group of cockroaches, lined up in groups: at our gate, There are many orphans and old men, Howling and begging, Ask for Petrovna, She exchanged money to buy cattle, Drink soju in the valley. At night, my grandmother and I lay in the hammock and read to her the poems I composed one by one. She laughed occasionally, but most of the time she blamed me. You, you know it!Never laugh at beggars, God bless them!Jesus was a beggar, all saints were beggars I murmured and said: I don't love beggars, I don't love my grandfather either, What can be done about this? Forgive me, Lord! Grandpa finds fault with me, smoked and smoked Net nonsense, rotten tongue!Grandfather heard it, but you are a good looker! Then let him listen! Troublemaker, don't mess with your mother anymore, she has suffered enough!Grandma said kindly. Why is she suffering? You are not allowed to ask, did you hear me? I know because her grandfather treated her Shut up! I have a feeling of loss, but for some reason, I try to hide it, so I pretend to be indifferent and play practical jokes.My mother taught me more and more homework, and it became more and more difficult.I am quick at arithmetic, but do not like to write, nor do I know grammar.What made me feel most uncomfortable was the situation of my mother at my grandfather's house.She is always frowning, and often stands alone in front of the window.When she first came back, she was quick and full of vigor.But now the eye circles are black, the hair is disheveled, and I haven't combed or washed it for several days.This makes me feel bad, she should be forever young, forever beautiful, better than anyone else! She also became listless during class, asking me questions in a very tired voice, regardless of whether I answered or not.She became more and more angry and yelling.A mother should be fair, like in a fairy tale, more just than anyone else.but she Sometimes I ask her: Are you uncomfortable with us? She said angrily: You do your own thing! I vaguely felt that my grandfather was planning something that terrified my grandmother and mother.He often went to his mother's house, yelling and sighing.Once, I heard my mother shouting inside: No, it can't be done! The door slammed shut, and my grandfather roared. It was already evening, and my grandmother was sitting at the table sewing clothes, when she heard the door knock, she said to herself: God, she's gone to the tenant's house! The grandfather rushed in suddenly, threw himself on the grandmother, waved his hand like a slap, and yelled, shaking his painful hand: Smelly old woman, don't talk too much when you shouldn't say it. old bastard!Grandma straightened her crooked hat and said calmly, I won't say anything, I won't say anything else, I will tell her all your thoughts, whatever I know He threw himself at her and hit her hard with his fists.The grandmother did not hide, saying: Hit it, hit it, bastard!call you! I picked up the pillow from the kang, picked up the leather boots from the stove, and threw them at my grandfather desperately.But he didn't pay attention to my throwing things, he was busy kicking my grandma who fell to the ground.The bucket tripped my grandfather, he jumped up and cursed, and finally, looking around viciously, he went back to the top floor where he lived.The grandmother stood up with difficulty, sat on the bench humming and chirping, and slowly straightened the messy hair.I jumped out of bed, and she said angrily: Pick things up!Great idea, throw pillows!Remember, it's none of your business, it's over if that old ghost goes crazy for a while! As she was talking, she suddenly yelled: Quick, quick, come and see! I parted her hair and found a hairpin deeply embedded in her scalp. I pulled it out with all my might, but found another. Better call my mom, I'm scared! She waved her hand and said: you dare? !Thank goodness you didn't let her see it, and now you call it!Get out! She reached out to pull it out by herself, so I had to muster up the courage again and pulled out the two bent hair pins. Does it hurt? It's okay, just take a shower tomorrow. She begged me gently: Good boy, don't tell your mother, do you hear me?It's just that there is no such thing, the hatred between their father and son is deep enough. OK, I won't say it. You must keep your word!Come on, let's pack our things.Is my face not broken? No. That's great, it's gone without anyone noticing. She mopped the floor and I was moved and said: You're like a saint who doesn't care when people make you suffer! Just say stupid things!Saint you can speak! She rambled on for a long time, crawled around on the ground, and wiped the floor vigorously.I sat on the kang stove, thinking about how to avenge my grandmother. This is the first time I have seen him beat my grandmother so ugly.In the dark room, he was blushing, kicking desperately, his golden hair fluttering in the air, I couldn't bear it, I hated myself for not being able to think of a good way to take revenge! Two days later, I went upstairs to him for something.He was sitting on the floor sorting out the files in a box. On the chair, there were pictures of his precious icon, twelve sheets of gray thick paper, each sheet was divided into squares according to the number of days in a month, each square Here are all the icons of that day.My grandfather kept these holy images as treasures, and only let me see them when he was particularly happy.Every time I see these little gray figures tightly packed together, I always have a special feeling.Some of the saints I know are Killik, Urid, Volvola, Pongeleman, and others.I especially like the sad biography of Alexei the God-man, and I have the beautiful lines in his praise.Every time you see hundreds of such people, you will feel some comfort in your heart: So there are already so many suffering people in the world! However, now I want to destroy these icons!While my grandfather was going to the window to look at a blue document with an eagle on it, I grabbed some icons and flew down.I picked up the scissors and cut off a row of heads without hesitation, but I suddenly felt sorry for these pictures, so I cut along the lines divided into squares. At this moment, the grandfather chased him down: Who told you to take the icon?What are you doing? He grabbed a piece of paper on the floor and stuck it to the tip of his nose to read.His beard was trembling, his breathing quickened and thickened, and pieces of paper fell to the ground. Good job you did!He finally yelled, grabbed my feet, and threw me upside down into the air.My grandmother caught me with her hands, my grandfather beat her and me, screaming: kill you! Mother came running.She stood up to block us and pushed her grandfather away: wake up!What's the matter? Grandfather lay on the floor, howling: You guys, kill me!Everyone is against me, ah Not ashamed?Like a child!Mother's voice was low. The grandfather was splashing, kicking his legs on the ground, his beard was raised ridiculously, and his eyes were closed. Mother looked at the cut out pieces of paper and said: I taped them to muslin, that was better and stronger!You see, her tone of voice was ruined, exactly the same as when she was teaching me. Grandfather stood up, straightened his shirt solemnly, and said, humming: Gotta post it now!I brought those cards too, and he walked towards the door, turned around again, pointed at me, and had to beat him up! It's time to fight!Why did you cut it?Mother promised to ask me. I did it on purpose!How dare he beat my grandmother!Otherwise I'll even cut off his beard Grandmother was taking off her torn blouse, she shook her head, gave me a reproachful look, and said: Didn't you promise not to say anything?She spit on the floor, it rots your tongue, you can't even roll it! Mother looked at her, then came up to me: Don't tell me, I know it too!When did you fight? Volvola, why do you have the nerve to ask this, what does it matter to you?Grandma said angrily. Mother embraces her: Hey mom, you are my good mom Good mother, good mother, go away They looked at each other, said no more, and parted, for Grandpa was standing in the doorway, watching them. Soon after my mother arrived, she became friends with the soldier's wife, and she went to her room almost every evening, along with the pretty ladies of the Bedleyn family and the officer.Grandfather was very dissatisfied with this: The goddamn things are back together!It's going to be noisy until dawn, and you don't want to sleep. It didn't take long before he kicked out the tenants.Two carts of various furniture came from nowhere, and he locked the door: No more tenants, I will treat myself in the future! Sure enough, many guests will come when the festival comes.Grandmother's sister, Mataliaona.Ivanovna, she was a noisy, big-nosed washerwoman in silk with lace and a golden hat.With her came her two sons: Vasily and Vicordo.Vasily was a jolly draughtsman in gray and with long hair, a very kind man.Vicordo, who has a donkey's head and a horse's face, took off his shoes and sang as soon as he entered the door: Andrew's father, Andrew's father This surprised me and kind of scared me. Uncle Yakov came with a guitar, and a bald watchmaker with one eye.The watchmaker wore a long black robe and had a serene attitude, like an old monk.He always sat in the corner, smiling, with his head cocked oddly, resting his double chin on one finger.He seldom speaks, and always repeats this sentence: Don't bother, ah, it's all the same, you When I saw him for the first time, I suddenly remembered something from a long time ago.At that time, we hadn't moved here yet.One day, I heard someone beating a drum outside. The sound was low and disturbing.A tall, large carriage came down the street, surrounded by soldiers.A man of short stature, wearing a round felt hat and shackled, sat on it, with a black plaque with white letters on his chest.The man lowered his head, as if he was reading something on the blackboard. I was thinking about this when I heard my mother introducing me to the watchmaker: This is my son. I backed away in surprise, trying to avoid him, and hid my hands. Don't bother me!He turned his mouth horribly to the right, grabbed my belt and pulled me over, carried me briskly around in a circle, and then put it down: well the kid is strong I climbed into the corner leather armchair, which was so large that my grandfather used to say it was the throne of Georgian princes.I climbed up to see how the grown-ups were laughing idly, and the watchmaker's face was changing strangely and suspiciously.The nose, ears, and mouth on his face seem to be able to change positions at will, including his tongue, which occasionally sticks out to draw a circle and licks his thick lips, which is particularly flexible.I was totally shocked. They drank tea mixed with rum, drank cider of various colors made by their grandmother, drank yoghurt, and ate buttercream cakes with poppy seeds.After everyone had eaten and drank enough, their faces flushed, and they leaned lazily in their chairs with their bellies out, asking Uncle Yakov to play a tune. He put his head down and began to play and sing, the words were unpleasant: Hey, hurry up and go for a while, make the city stormy put it all away, tell miss kazan I thought it was a very melancholy song, and my grandmother said: Yasha, play a different piece, huh?Matalia, do you remember Geer from the past? The washerwoman straightened her clothes and said with air: My wife, it's out of fashion now Uncle squinted at grandma, as if grandma was far away in the sky.He's still singing that annoying song. The grandfather was talking to the watchmaker in a low voice, making gestures. The watchmaker looked up at his mother and nodded, with an unpredictable expression on his face. Sitting between the Siergeyev brothers, the mother was talking to Vasily, and Vasily sighed and said: Yeah, it's something to think about With a look of excitement on his face, Wickordo kept rubbing his feet on the floor, and suddenly began to sing again: Andrew's father, Andrew's father Everyone looked at him in surprise and fell silent for a while.The washerwoman hurriedly explained: oh he learned it from the theater After several such dull evenings, one Sunday afternoon, just after the second midday service, the watchmaker arrived.My mother and I were mending the broken embroidery in the room, when the door suddenly opened a crack, and my grandmother's frightened face came in, and she whispered: Volya, here he comes. Mother didn't move or tremble, the door opened again, and grandfather stood on the threshold and said solemnly: Volvoa, change clothes and go! Without looking up, the mother asked: where to go Go, God bless!He was a good man, a competent man in his own line, and Alexey would have had a good father's grandfather, who kept rubbing his palms on his ribs as he spoke. His mother interrupted him peacefully: I tell you, it can't be done! Grandfather stretched out both hands, bowed forward like a blind man, his hair stood up, and said in a hoarse voice: If you don't go, you have to go, or I will drag you by the braid The mother's face turned pale, she stood up quickly, took off her coat and skirt twice, and walked up to her grandfather: let's go! Grandfather bared his teeth and clenched his fist to threaten her: Put it on, Volvora! Mother fended him off, took the doorknob and said: OK, let's go! I curse you!Grandfather cried helplessly. I am not afraid of your curse.Walk! She stepped out, and her grandfather pulled her behind and begged: Volvola, you're ruining yourself, and he whimpered pitifully at his grandmother again, old woman, old woman The grandmother blocked the mother's way and pushed her back through the door: Voloya, silly girl, don't be ashamed! After entering the house, she pointed to her grandfather: well!You ignorant old ghost!Then I turned around and yelled at my mother, hurry up and put it on! Mother picked up the clothes on the floor and said: I'm not going, you hear me? My grandmother pulled me off the kang and said: Go get some water! I ran out and heard my mother shout: I'm leaving tomorrow! I ran into the kitchen and sat by the window, feeling like I was dreaming. The grandfather was moaning and smoking again, and the grandmother was smoking something, when the back door slammed shut, and the outside fell silent.After a while, I suddenly remembered that I was here to scoop water.I went back with the water, just as I saw the watchmaker walking out, with his head bowed and his hand on his leather hat.The grandmother put her hands on her stomach, bowed towards his back, and said softly: You also know this, love cannot be forced He stumbled on the steps and staggered into the yard.Grandmother hurriedly made the sign of the cross, not knowing whether she was crying silently or secretly laughing. What's the matter?I ran up to her and asked. She turned around, snatched the water away, and shouted loudly: Where did you go to fetch water?close the door and go! I went back to the kitchen again.I heard my grandmother and mother chattering for a long time. A very sunny day in winter.The sunlight came in obliquely and shone on the table. The two flasks containing kvass and vodka were glowing dark green.The snow outside was blindingly bright.My little birds were playing in their cages, and the titmouses, grayfinches, and goldfinches were all singing.But there was no happy atmosphere at home. I took down the cage and wanted to let the bird go.Grandmother ran in suddenly, clapped her hands on her waist, and scolded as she walked: damn it acarena you old fool She took out a burnt bun from the kang stove, tapped the skin with her finger, and said viciously: OK, it's all burnt, why are the devils looking at me like owls?You bastards!tear you all apart She burst into tears, tears dripping on the scorched bun. Grandfather and mother came into the kitchen.Grandma threw the buns on the table, shaking the plates and bowls so that they jumped up. Let's see, it's all because of you that you will be unlucky for the rest of your life! Mother stepped forward to hug her, persuading her with a smile.Grandfather sat wearily on the edge of the table, tied the napkin around his neck, squinted his swollen eyes, and muttered: All right, all right!What's the big deal, it's not like we haven't eaten good buns before.God is stingy, he used a few minutes to settle the accounts of several years.He doesn't admit any interest!sit down, volya Grandfather kept talking like a madman, always talking about God, Ahaf, the godless, and the hard fate of being a father at mealtimes.Grandmother interrupted him angrily: Come on, eat your meal!Do you hear me? With bright eyes, my mother pushed me and asked me with a smile: How, did you freak out just now? Actually, I wasn't afraid just now, but now I feel a little uncomfortable and don't understand. They ate for a long time and ate a lot. Compared with those who were arguing and wailing at each other just now, it seemed that it had nothing to do with it.Since then, all their fierce words and actions can no longer move me.Many years later, I gradually realized that because of the poverty of life, Russians seem to like to be accompanied by sadness, and are always ready to forget, but they are never ashamed of misfortune. The sun and the moon are long, sorrow is its festival, fire is its carnival, and scars are also embellishments on the face of nothing