Chapter 5 growth in suffering

Some people younger than me have asked me: why don't you panic?Why is no one panicking?Why no one took advantage of the fire to loot, no one rioted?Why are people of your generation so resigned to fate, why are you all caught up in the whirlwind of time without complaining? Sometimes I will answer: there are unpredictable things. Sometimes I answer: we don't understand what's going on.And, what can we do? Sometimes I also quote the fable of the frog: You throw a frog into boiling water, and it will pop right out.You throw a frog into a pot of very comfortable warm water and heat it up slowly. Before the frog notices that something is wrong, it will die for no apparent reason.

Stars don't fade away slowly, and it's easy to notice when they're gone.But then again, for most people, that's not an imminent catastrophe.If you are an astronomer or a national defense strategist, if you work in the telecommunications industry or the aerospace industry, maybe in the first few days of time gyrations, you will fall into despair and fear.However, if you are just a bus driver, or a hamburger seller on the street, then this incident to you is nothing more than a frog being thrown into warm water. The English-language media around the world called it the October Incident (it was years before everyone knew it was a time twirl).The first to be affected, and most obviously, was the satellite industry.Markets worth trillions of dollars completely collapsed.Losing the satellite means losing all satellite live TV, and most of it.It made the long-distance phone system unstable and GPS navigation useless.It destroyed the global Internet, rendered obsolete most of the most sophisticated modern weapons technology overnight, and crippled the operation of global satellite surveillance and reconnaissance.It also forced weather broadcasters everywhere to draw isobars on maps of the continental United States with bare hands, and could no longer comfortably output computer images through weather satellites.Attempts have been made to contact the International Space Station, but in vain.From Cape Canaveral, Florida, a planned commercial satellite launch has been postponed indefinitely.The same is true for Russia's Baikonur Cosmodrome and the European Union's Kourou Space Center in South America.

The end result was that the telecommunications industry was hit hard, including GE America, AT&T, Telesat, Hughes Telecom, and many more companies large and small. That October night was responsible for all the horrors that followed.Due to the blocking of media transmission, most of the events were not known.News can no longer pass through space orbit and be ejected freely to all corners of the earth. It can only squeeze the fiber optic lines on the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean and spread it by word of mouth like rumors.In the immediate aftermath of the October incident, the chaos led to human error or miscalculation. A Pakistani Hataf-5 missile loaded with a nuclear warhead deviated from its course and hit the Hindu Kush mountains. The entire rural valley was wiped out in an instant.It was almost a week after this incident that we found out.It was the first nuclear weapon detonated in war since 1945.With telecommunications cut off and the world in delirium, we were lucky, despite such a tragic event, because it only happened once.We've also heard other rumors that Tehran, Tel Aviv and Pyongyang also came close.

☆ The sun came out, and I finally felt relieved.I sleep from morning until noon.After I got up and got dressed, my mother was already in the living room.She was still wearing her stitched nightgown, frowning at the TV screen.I asked her if she had breakfast and she said no.I'll go get lunch, me and her. She would be forty-five that fall.If you asked me to describe her in one sentence, I would say she is a calm and restrained person.She rarely loses her temper.The only time I saw her cry in my life was when I was still living in Sacramento, California.The police came to our house that night and told her my dad was dead.He was driving home from a business trip when he had an accident on Highway 80 near Waggaville.I guess, she has always been very cautious in front of me, only showing her stable and restrained side.However, she actually has many sides.In the living room there is a shelf for decorations with a picture on it.That was taken years ago, before I was even born.In the photo is a very beautiful woman, stylishly dressed, looking graceful to the camera.Once, she told me that it was her in the picture, and I was really taken aback.

Apparently she heard something on TV that she didn't want to hear.A local TV channel was broadcasting a 24-hour continuous news report, relaying news from the radio station and the ham people, as well as the same official statement from the federal government calling for calm.She called me and told me to sit down.Taylor, I don't know what to say, something happened last night I said: I know, I heard about it before going to bed last night. you know?Then why didn't you wake me up? i don't know if i should call Fortunately, her annoyance came and went quickly.She said: It's okay, Xiaotai, it's okay.I shouldn't have missed anything because of sleeping.It's funny to say that I don't seem to wake up yet, am I dreaming?

Only the stars are gone.I answered without thinking. She corrected me: Not only the stars, but also the moon disappeared.Didn't you hear that the moon is gone too?Now, no one in the whole world can see the stars, and no one can see the moon. ☆ Of course, the moon is an omen. I sat with her for a while, and then got up to go to the big house.When I walked away, she was still staring at the TV intently, saying: I will be back before dark today.So true.I knock on the back door of the big house.Although the back door was used by the cook and the temporary maid, the Lawton family was very careful with their mouths and never said that the back door was the entrance and exit of the servants.From Monday to Friday, my mother also enters through the back door to help the Lawton family with housework.

carolLawton, the mother of twins, let me in.She looked at me blankly, and waved me to go upstairs.Diane was still asleep, and the door to the room was closed.Jason hadn't slept all night, and obviously didn't intend to.He was in his room, listening to the shortwave radio with his arms around him, to see if there was any news. Jason's room was like Aladdin's treasure trove, full of extravagance that made my mouth water.However, I have long since given up the luxury of having one for myself.His computer has a super-fast Internet connection, and the big TV someone left him is twice the size of the one in our living room.Our TV is already the most respectable thing in the living room.I told him: the moon is gone.I just thought, maybe he hasn't heard the news yet.

Interesting, right?Xiaojie stood up and stretched, and ran his fingers through his messy hair.He was still wearing last night's clothes, and his absent-minded look was very unlike him.There was no doubt that Jason was a true genius, but he never looked like one to me.I mean, he doesn't look like a movie genius who doesn't squint and stutter and doesn't have algebraic formulas scribbled on the walls.Today, however, he looked uncharacteristically distracted.How could it be that the moon certainly didn't disappear?The radio said they had surveyed the Atlantic coast and the tides were still normal.In other words, the moon is still there.If the moon is still there, of course the stars are also there.

Then why can't we see the stars and the moon? He was not very happy and gave me a glare.How would I know?I'm just saying that, at least to some extent, it's just a visual phenomenon. Xiaojie, look out of the window.The sun will shine.What kind of optical illusion lets in the sun but blocks out the stars and the moon? here we go again!How would I know?But do you have another explanation, Tyler?Could it be that someone stuffed the moon and stars into a bag and ran away with them? I thought to myself, of course not.What was stuffed into the bag was the earth.Why is this so?I'm afraid even Jason can't figure it out.

He said: You have a good point about the sun, though.In this way, it is not a visual barrier, but a visual filter, um, very interesting So, who put it there? How do I know he shook his head violently.Your reasoning goes too far.Who says someone has to put it there?It is likely to be a natural phenomenon that occurs only once in a billion years, just like the earth's magnetic field is reversed from north to south.It would be too arbitrary to immediately assume that there are any intelligent creatures operating behind the scenes. But that may well be the case. There could also be many reasons.

I've had enough of being ridiculed for reading science fiction.So, I don't dare to say the word alien.But, to be honest, that was the first possibility that came to my mind.In fact, not only me, but also many people.Even Jason had to admit that in the past twenty-four hours, an alien invasion had become more and more like an absolutely reasonable inference. I said: Even if it is really aliens, we still can't figure out why they do this. There are only two valid reasons.To hide something from us; or, to hide us from something to see. What did your dad say? I didn't ask him.He's been on the phone all day, presumably trying to get a morning call to sell his General Holdings stock.This is a joke, and I don't know what he meant by saying that, but this is also the first problem I think of: For the aerospace industry in general, and for the Lawton family in particular, the loss of satellite communications, What impact might it have.Xiaojie said honestly: I didn't sleep last night, afraid that I might miss something.Sometimes I envy my old sister for this. You know, she is the kind of person who wakes me up after someone has figured it out. I felt the contempt for Diane in his words, and I immediately tensed up like a hedgehog.I said: She didn't sleep either! oh?Really?How do you know? Now it's really self-inflicted.we talked on the phone she called you? Yes, it's almost dawn. God, Tyler, you're so red. where? You have it! Suddenly someone knocked on the door and saved my life.It's Edward.Lawton, he didn't look like he slept much. As soon as Jason's father appeared, it would give people the feeling of being overwhelmed by an army.He was big, broad-shouldered, difficult to please, and quick to lose his temper.Every weekend, he walked around the house, and wherever he went, it was like a storm was raging, with thunder and lightning.My mother once told me: Edward is the kind of guy you really don't want to be targeted by.I'll never understand why Carol married him. He's not exactly your typical self-made businessman.His grandfather started a law firm in San Francisco and is now retired.The business of the firm was at its peak, and it was the main source of funding for Edward's early entrepreneurial ventures.Still, he started his own business, making money in high-altitude measuring instruments and lighter-than-air technology.Moreover, he has no contacts in the industry, so it is difficult to start a business.At least at first. He walked into Jason's room with a gloomy face.He saw me suddenly, and immediately looked away again.I'm sorry, Taylor, you go home now, I have something to discuss with Jason. Xiaojie didn't say anything, and I didn't particularly want to stay.So I shrugged my shoulders, put on my casual jacket, and went out the back door.I spent the whole afternoon splashing rocks by the stream, watching the squirrels scrambling to find food for the winter. ☆ The sun, the moon, and the stars. In the years that followed, children never saw the moon with their own eyes as they grew up.Some people are only five or six years younger than me, but they have only seen stars in some old movies, and only heard the word stars in some clichés that are becoming more and more outdated.That's how they grow up.When I was in my thirties, I once played the piano and sang to a girl.I sang the famous Latin jazz song of the twentieth century, Antonio.Carlos.Jobin's Corcovado.On a silent night, the stars are silent. She opened her eyes wide and asked me sincerely: Are the stars noisy? However, what we have lost is not just a few stars in the sky, but something more subtle and imperceptible.We have lost our sense of trust in our place in the universe.The earth is round, the moon revolves around the earth, and the earth revolves around the sun.For the vast majority of people, there is only so much of the universe they know and want to know.I even doubt that any one in a hundred people will think about the universe after graduating from high school.However, they can still be confused when this sense of trust is stripped away. It was the second week after the October incident that we heard the government's statement on the sun. The sun still seems to be the same, the sun rises in the east, and the sun sets in the west, eternally unchanged.The times of sunrise and sunset are completely consistent with the standard astronomical ephemeris, and the time of day is still gradually shortening with the precession of nature.There is no sign of an emergency happening to the sun.The survival of everything on Earth, including life itself, is dependent on solar radiation and depends on the amount of radiation hitting the Earth's surface.In any respect, little has changed.All signs show that the sun we can see with the naked eye is still the yellow G-class star that we have to squint our eyes for a lifetime. However, sunspots, prominences, and solar flares are gone. The sun is a violent and frenzied object.It was turbulent, boiling and scalding, emitting an incomparably huge energy that shook the sky.It emits a stream of electric particles that fills the entire solar system.Without the protection of the Earth's magnetic field, such electric particles would be deadly.Astronomers say that since the October event, the Sun has become a geometrically perfect object, emitting a constant, uniform and flawless light.Electron particles from the sun interact with the Earth's magnetic field to form the Northern Lights.According to news from the north, the Northern Lights suddenly disappeared, vanishing like a bad Broadway show. In the new night sky, something else was missing: missing meteors.Stardust from outer space adds 80 million pounds of weight to the earth every year.Most of the stardust is reduced to ashes in the high-temperature friction through the atmosphere.No more shooting stars.For the entire week following the October event, no more meteorites were detected entering the atmosphere, not even the very fine meteorites commonly known as Brownlee dust.To use an astrophysical term, it was silence. Even Jason couldn't explain this phenomenon. ☆ Therefore, the sun is no longer the original sun.True or not, however, the sun still shines.Day by day, day by day, the accumulation of layers, the doubts in people's hearts are getting deeper and deeper, but the mass panic of imminent disaster has subsided. (To use the frog analogy, the water isn't boiling, it's just lukewarm.) And that's a popular topic that can't be discussed endlessly.It was not only the mysterious phenomenon in the sky that the people were talking about, but also its immediate consequences.The telecommunications industry has collapsed; overseas wars can no longer be monitored and reported online through satellites; the smart bomb of satellite positioning and navigation has been reduced to hopeless scrap iron; a gold rush for optical fiber lines has emerged around the world.The statement issued by the Washington authorities was as frustrating as usual: there is no evidence that this is a hostile intention from any country or agency.Aiming at this obscuring object that hinders the cosmic landscape, the most top talents of the present age have put into work to understand and investigate the reasons, with the hope of eventually reversing the potential negative effects.This kind of reassuring official statement is no different from the meaningless collage of psychotic symptoms, and it doesn't make sense.Our government is still trying to find an enemy capable of carrying out such an operation, be it Earthlings or anything else.It's a pity that the enemy is still very stubborn, saying that he won't let you find it.People began to talk about it, saying that it was a hypothetical intelligent creature that manipulated the earth.We are like being locked in a prison, with high walls that prevent us from seeing the outside world.So we had to retreat to the next best thing, and survey along the edges and corners of the prison, looking for loopholes that could escape. Jason spent most of the month following the incident hiding in his room.During this period, I didn't meet and speak with him, only when the minibus from Rice High School came to pick up the twin siblings, I only caught a glimpse of him.Still, Diane called my cell phone almost every night, usually around ten or eleven o'clock.At that time, both of us can safely maintain a little privacy.When I received her call, I felt like I had found a treasure, but for some unknown reason, I was still reluctant to admit it. She told me one night: Jason was in a terrible mood.He said that if we can't even figure out whether the sun is real or not, what else can we figure out. Maybe he has a point. But for Xiaojie, it is almost a kind of faith to figure things out.you know what, taylor?He has always loved maps, and even at an early age he knew how to use them.He likes to know where he is.He once said that this is the only way to make things clear.Gosh, how I used to love hearing him talk about maps.I guess that's probably why he's reacting so violently now, more violently than most people.Everything was not where it was, it was gone.His map is gone. Of course, there are already plausible leads.Before the week was over, the military was already collecting the remains of the crashed satellite.Before, those satellites were still in orbit.That night in October, before dawn, all the satellites fell back to Earth.Some clues have been found in the wreckage left by several satellites, which is quite intriguing.However, even Edward, who has well-connected political and business connections,It took a long time for the Lawton family to learn the news. ☆ After the stars died out, the first dark night of winter came, and that weird feeling seemed to be claustrophobic.Snow came early.Where we live is only a commuting distance from the Washington capital.However, it's not even Christmas yet, and it's already snowing so heavily that it's almost like being in Vermont.The bad news continued.Hastily threading the needle between international organizations led to a peace deal between India and Pakistan, but that relationship is precarious, always teetering on the edge of war, always on the verge of breaking out.In the Hindu Kush Mountains, the United Nations sponsored a radiation pollution cleanup project. As a result, dozens of innocent souls were added to the original list of dead and injured.In northern Africa, whenever the armies of the industrialized countries retreated and reorganized, small-scale wars would resume and burn slowly.Crude oil prices skyrocketed.So we had to turn down the thermostat in our house a few degrees, a little below what was comfortable.Once the winter solstice passes and the days start to lengthen (as the sun begins to return and the quail make their first crows), there's no need to dial down any further. However, in the face of this unknown threat, with no clue, human beings are cautious to avoid triggering a full-scale world war.This is commendable.Humans learn to adapt and carry on with their lives.The winter is not over yet, and everyone is already talking about the new normal era.Everyone knows that in the end, no matter what problems happen to the earth, we will have to pay a very high price.However, it has been said well that in the end, life is inevitable anyway. I found that my mother had changed a little bit.The days went on day by day, and she seemed to feel at ease.Later, when the weather finally warmed up, she looked a little nervous.Jason has changed too.He came out, no longer shutting himself in thought.Diane, however, worried me.Not only did she never talk about the stars, she recently started asking me if I believe in God, and if God was responsible for what happened in October. I told her I really don't know.Our family rarely goes to church.To be honest, I feel a little uncomfortable talking about this kind of thing. ☆ That summer, the three of us rode bicycles to Fairway Mall.That will be the last time. We've been there a thousand times before.At the age of the twins, it was a bit old to go to that place.However, in the seven years we have lived in the big house, it has become a ritual, an indispensable summer Saturday activity.On rainy weekends and hot weekends, we will not be able to skip it, but as long as the weather is sunny and sunny, it seems that there will be an invisible hand pulling us to the meeting point, the long road in front of Lawton’s house. end of driveway. On that day, the warm wind blew gently, and everything under the sun seemed to be filled with full and abundant life heat.It's as if the weather wants to reassure us: Mother Nature is all right.Thankfully, almost ten months have passed since the incident.Although the Earth is now a cultivated planet (Jason casually said), although the Earth is no longer part of the natural forest of the universe, but a well-tended garden.Some unknown force tends the garden.Still, thank goodness Mother Nature is all right. Jason rode an expensive mountain bike.Diane's car is also of the same class, a girly model, less flashy.I was riding a cracked second-hand bike that my mom bought for me at a charity bazaar.It doesn't matter what we ride, the important thing is that there are bursts of rosin floating in the wind, and there are still a few hours of free time in front of us, waiting for us.I felt it, Diane felt it, and I think Jason felt it too.However, that morning, the moment he stepped on the bicycle, he looked restless and even a little embarrassed.I figured it was because he was stressed, or because the new school year was approaching (it was already August).Jay went to Rice High School, a stressful school with advanced classes.Last year, he passed math and physics without breaking a sweat, good enough to teach them.However, he must take Latin credits next semester.He said: Is that still a living language?Who but the classics reads some fucking Latin?Learning Latin is like learning the FORTRAN language of computers, which has long since been used by no one.All the important classics have been translated a long time ago. Would it be possible to become a good person after reading the original Latin works of the ancient Roman statesman Cicero?Cicero, God, he is Aaron of the Roman Republic.Deshuz? I just listen to what he says.When riding to play, we like to do other things while riding, such as whining, and we use whining as kung fu practice. (I don't even know who Aaron Desuetz is, I guess it's the kid from Jason's school.) But today, his mood is a bit cloudy and moody.He got up and pedaled and rode ahead of us. On the way to the shopping center, you will pass a dense woodland and pass several picturesque houses in light colors.The gardens in front of the house were manicured, and hidden sprinklers sprayed mist that condensed into a rainbow in the morning air.Although the sunlight is artificial and filtered, when the sunlight penetrates the scattered water mist, it still blooms colorful halos.We whizzed past, climbed up the gleaming white sidewalk from under the shady oak trees, and at that moment, there was still a sense of happiness. We rode lightly and happily for ten to fifteen minutes, and then the steep slope of Jishan Road loomed in front of us.That was the last hurdle on the way to the mall, and the main signpost.Jishan Road is very steep, but as long as you cross the top of the slope to the other side, you can dive a long way through the clouds and fog, and the parking lot of the shopping center is underneath.Jay has ridden a quarter of the way uphill.Diane gave me a mischievous look. Let's play.she says. That was really frustrating.The twins have birthdays in July and mine in October.Come summer, they'll be two years older than me, not a year.They're fifteen and I'm still thirteen, and it's frustrating to wait another four months for another year.The age gap also means a physical advantage.Diane must have known that there was no way I could win her over and get to the top of the slope before her.But she stomped away anyway, and I sighed and had to stomp hard on the creaking old car and join the race, alas, just like the real thing.The game is simply one-sided.Diane stood up from the cushion, stepping on the new technology made of etched aluminum, the car body was shining.When it was almost uphill, she had already accumulated an amazing momentum.Three little girls were scribbling on the sidewalk and stepped out of the way when they saw her.She looked back at me, as if encouraging, but also as if mocking. The uphill slackens her momentum, but she shifts gears deftly, and then her feet start pounding again.Jason had already reached the top of the slope, stopped, balanced on one long leg on the ground, and turned to look at us with a teasing expression on his face.I began to ride uphill with great difficulty, but halfway through the ride, the old car just wobbled along the way and barely moved.I had to get out of the car embarrassingly, and pushed the broken car to the top of the slope. After finally reaching the top of the slope, Diane smiled at me. you win.I said. I'm sorry, Tyler, but that's not really fair. I shrugged, a little embarrassed. When you get to the top of the mountain, the road is gone, a dead end.On the front is a residential area, surrounded by wooden stakes and ropes, and there are no houses at all.To the west is a long sandy slope, with a shopping mall underneath.It was a filled path with low woods and berry bushes on either side.See you down there.She said, and rode away again. ☆ We locked the car to the rack and walked into the translucent nave of the mall. A mall is a reassuring place.Mainly because, since last October, little has changed in this place.Newspapers and television may still be in a state of jitteriness, but shopping malls are brimming with happiness, like ostriches.There's only one sign here that something might be wrong with the outside world.In consumer electronics chains, there are no satellite dish displays.On the display shelves of bookstores, more and more books related to the October incident.There was a paperback book, with a high-gloss blue and gold cover, which claimed to have a connection between the events of October and Bible prophecy.Jason scoffed at the book, saying: The most convenient prophecy is to predict what has already happened. Diane was not very happy and gave him a glare.If you don't believe it, forget it, why make fun of others. In theory, I just laughed at the book cover.I haven't read it yet. Maybe you should read it. Why?Why are you speaking for him? I'm not speaking for anyone.Still, maybe God had something to do with what happened last October.It doesn't look that ridiculous either. Jason said: Actually, you're right, it really does just look ridiculous. She gave him a blank look, stomped her feet and walked in front of us, sighing to herself.Jason stuffed the book back on the display shelf. I said to him, I think people just want to find out what happened, that's why there are books like that. Or maybe everyone is just pretending to figure it out.That's called an ostrich.Taylor, would you like to hear something interesting? I said: Of course I want to. Can you keep it a secret?He lowered his voice so that even Diane, who was walking a few meters ahead, couldn't hear him.The matter has not been made public. This is also something unusual about Jason.He always knew about something really important, a day or two before it even aired on the evening news.It can be said that Rice Middle School is just a place where he goes to school during the day, and the real education comes from the strict supervision of his father.From the very beginning, Edward wanted him to understand how business, science, technology, all of these were intertwined with political power.Edward himself did just that.His company makes stationary high-altitude balloons (aerostats).The communication satellite is gone, but his balloon has opened up a huge new market, including civilian market and military market.The unique core technology is gradually becoming the mainstream, and Edward is riding on the peak of this wave.Sometimes he would share some secrets with his fifteen-year-old son, but he would never dare to let his competitors hear the slightest. Of course, unbeknownst to Edward, Jay would occasionally share these secrets with me.However, I am absolutely tight-lipped. (That being said, who can I tell? I don’t have any other real friends. We live in a so-called economic aristocratic community, where social status is as clearly divided as cutting tofu with a knife. People like us A son born to a single working mother, no matter how mature and hard-working a son is, no one will regard you as a member of the upper class.) He lowered his voice again.You know those three Russian cosmonauts?Those three in orbit last October? The three individuals were missing and presumed dead on the night of the incident.I nod. He said: One is still alive, in Moscow.The Russian didn't say much, however, rumors swirled that he had gone completely insane. I stared at him with wide eyes, but he wouldn't say anything more. ☆ More than ten years later, the truth was revealed to the world.When the truth finally came to light (the matter was written as a note in the "Early History of Time Revolves in Europe"), I thought about that day in the shopping mall.Here's the thing: On the night of the October event, three Russian cosmonauts were in orbit.They went to the International Space Station, which was about to be scrapped, to complete a routine cleaning task and were about to return.The mission commander is Leoni.Colonel Glaven.Just after midnight EST, he discovered that the signal from the Earth Control Center had disappeared.He tried repeatedly to restore contact, but failed. What a horrific event for those three Astros, and it quickly deteriorated.When the Soyuz spacecraft came out from the night side of the earth and saw the sun again, they found that the earth they orbited had become a dull black sphere. Later, Colonel Glavin described it like this: It was like a dark mass, something that didn't exist.It is only when the darkness covers the sun that you feel its presence.That's an eternal eclipse.In orbit, they can only confirm that the earth is really still there by the rapid cycle of sunrise and sunset.Sunlight would burst out from behind the round silhouette of the shadow, and the mass of shadow would not reflect light at all.When the spacecraft entered the night side, the sunlight disappeared in an instant. The astronauts couldn't figure out what was going on, and their fear was unimaginable. The astronauts circled the vast darkness for a whole week.Later, they voted to make a decision.They would rather risk returning to the atmosphere without ground assistance than drifting through space or docking at the deserted International Space Station.Earth or not, it is better to die on Earth than starve to death in the isolation of space.However, without guidance from the ground, and no landmarks recognizable by the naked eye, they can only calculate based on the last known position.As a result, when the Soyuz spacecraft returned to the atmosphere, the angle of cut was too steep and dangerous, the absorbed gravitational acceleration had reached the level of damage, and a key parachute was lost during the descent. The spacecraft fell hard and landed in a forest on the slopes of the Ruhr Valley in Germany.Vasily.Golubev died on impact; Valentina.Kirtford suffered severe head trauma and died a few hours later; Colonel Glaven suffered only minor abrasions and a broken wrist.Dizzy, he struggled to climb out of the capsule.Finally, a German search and rescue team found him and sent him back to the Russian government. After repeatedly listening to mission reports, the Russian government finally came to a conclusion.They believe that Glaven suffered insanity after being tortured.The colonel was persistent, and he and the rest of the crew circled the orbit for three weeks.The government thinks he's clearly insane Because, like all the other recovered satellites, the Soyuz spacecraft fell back to Earth the night of the October event. ☆ We had lunch at the food court in the mall.Diane saw three girls she had met at Rice High School.The three girls were older, very sophisticated in my opinion, with hair dyed pink or blue, wearing designer flared trousers that fell to the hips, and little gold cross necklaces around their pale necks.Diane rolled a half-eaten burrito in Old Mexico House wrapper and ran to their table.The four of them whispered together, talking and laughing.Suddenly, I looked at my burrito and chips, and the more I looked at it, the less appetizing I was. Jason looked at my expression and said softly: You know, it will happen sooner or later. What is sooner or later? 她不再跟我們同一國了。你，我，黛安，大房子和小房子，禮拜六到購物中心，禮拜天看電影。當我們還是小孩子的時候，會覺得好玩。可是，我們已經不再是小孩子了。 我們不再是了嗎？不，我們當然不是了。可是，我真的想過那代表什麼意義，或者，可能代表什麼意義嗎？ 她的月經已經來了一年了。傑森又補了一句。 我臉色發白。我不需要知道這麼多。然而，我卻忌妒他知道這件事，而我自己不知道。她沒有告訴我她的月經來了，也沒有提過她萊斯中學的那些朋友。她在電話裡跟我說了很多悄悄話，傑森的事，爸媽的事，晚餐吃了什麼之類的。我忽然懂了，那些悄悄話只是小孩子的悄悄話。證據很明顯，她告訴我的祕密和她隱瞞的祕密一樣多。此刻，坐在走道對面那一桌的黛安，是一個我從來沒見過的黛安。 我對傑森說：我們該回家了。 他用一種憐憫的眼神看著我。如果你想回家，我們就走吧。He stood up. 你不跟黛安說我們要走了嗎？ 泰勒，我想她現在正忙著呢。她等一下還會有別的節目。 可是她一定要跟我們一起回去啊。 她不會跟我們回去的。 我決定試試看。她不會就這麼拋棄我們。她沒那麼差勁。我站起來走到黛安那桌去。黛安和她的朋友全都停下來看我。我看著黛安的眼睛，不理會其他人。我說：我們要回家了。 那三個萊斯中學的女孩大笑起來。黛安有點尷尬地笑了一下說：好啊，小泰，很好啊。see you later. but i But what?她根本連看也不看我了。 我走開的時候，聽到一個朋友在問她，我是不是另外一個弟弟。她說不是，我只是她認識的一個小孩子。 ☆ 傑森忽然變得很有同情心，真受不了。他居然要跟我換腳踏車騎回家。此時此刻，我根本不在乎什麼腳踏車，不過，我想了一下，換換腳踏車也許可以掩飾一下自己的情緒。 於是，我們辛辛苦苦地騎上雞山路的坡頂。在這裡，一條柏油路像黑色緞帶一樣向下延伸，直到底下樹蔭蔽天的街道。剛吃的午餐像一塊木炭一樣，卡在我肋骨下面。我站在死胡同的盡頭，看著那條向下陡降的柏油路，猶豫著。 傑森說：衝下去吧！衝啊，感覺一下。 速度是否能夠讓我解脫目前的心情？有什麼能夠讓我解脫？我痛恨自己居然會相信，自己是黛安世界的中心。而實際上，原來我只是她認識的一個小孩子。 不過，傑森借我的腳踏車真的很棒。我站在踏板上，放手讓重力產生的速度發揮到極致。輪胎緊緊咬住灰色的柏油路面，但鏈條和轉鏈輪卻非常滑順，除了輪軸微弱的摩擦聲，幾乎沒有半點聲音。當我速度愈來愈快，風從我旁邊奔流而過。我飛快地越過那些色調莊重的房子，看到車道上停著名貴的車子。我感覺失落，卻無比自由。快到底下的時候，我開始拉煞車扳手，可是驚人的衝力並沒有明顯減弱。我不想停，希望永遠不要停。這是一趟很棒的腳踏車滑翔。 不過，柏油路已經到了水平面，我終於煞住車子，停下來，左腳撐著柏油路面，轉頭看後面。 傑森還在雞山路的坡頂上，坐在我那台嘎嘎吱吱的腳踏車上面。遠遠看過去，很像西部老電影裡那個孤獨的騎士。我揮揮手，輪到他了。 那個山坡，傑森一定上上下下至少騎過上千次了。可是，這種慈善義賣商店買的生鏽腳踏車，他一定沒在這條路上騎過。 他的身高比我更適合騎那台腳踏車。他腿比我長，站在車子旁邊不會顯得矮。可是，我們從來沒有交換過腳踏車。那一剎那，我忽然想到那輛腳踏車有很多毛病和怪癖。點點滴滴我都瞭如指掌。我知道右轉的時候絕對不能太急，因為車子的骨架已經有點歪斜；我知道如何克服搖晃的問題；我知道齒輪箱有多糟糕。可是，這些問題傑森都不知道。騎山路可能需要很多技巧。我想叫傑森騎慢一點，可是就算我喊破了喉嚨，他也聽不到了。我已經在他前面很遠的地方了。他抬起腳，看起來像個笨拙的大嬰兒。那輛腳踏車很重，他騎了好幾秒鐘才慢慢快起來。可是我知道，要停下來有多難。那會是一場災難，沒有任何僥倖。我的手不知不覺握起來，想像自己在拉煞車。 我猜，傑森衝下坡衝了四分之三的距離之後，才知道自己有麻煩了。長滿了鐵鏽的鏈條斷掉了，甩到傑森的腳踝。他離我已經不遠了，我看得到他有點嚇著了，腳縮了一下，大叫了一聲。腳踏車開始搖晃，可是，他居然把腳踏車穩住了，簡直是奇蹟。 一截斷掉的鏈條纏住了後輪，像鞭子一樣甩打著支架，發出的聲音像一把壞掉的手提鑽。前面第二間房子那邊，有個女人正在花園裡除草。她聽到聲音，連忙用手掩住耳朵，轉頭看看怎麼回事。 最令人驚奇的是，傑森竟然有辦法穩住那台腳踏車，撐了那麼久。小傑雖然不是運動選手，但他那又高又壯的身體卻十分靈活。既然踏板已經沒用了，他乾脆把腳伸出來保持平衡。後輪已經卡死打滑了，他只好努力讓前輪保持正直。He is unyielding.令我驚訝的是，他身體的姿態不但沒有僵硬，反而看起來很放鬆。那種感覺就像是，他碰上了一些困難，但正在全神貫注地解決困難。他的樣子看起來彷彿有絕對的信心，相信自己能夠把頭腦、身體和狂奔的車子結合起來，讓自己脫離險境。 結果，是車子先撐不住了。一截油膩膩的斷鏈條四處亂甩，險象環生，最後終於卡在輪胎和車身中間。已經很脆弱的後輪嚴重歪斜，偏離正軸，最後整個折彎了。軸承的鋼珠掉出來，橡皮碎片四散飛濺。傑森整個人從腳踏車上飛起來，從空中墜落，彷彿一具人體模特兒從高高的窗戶摔下來。他的腳先撞上柏油路面，然後是他的膝蓋，手肘，最後是頭。他的身體終於停下來了，這個時候，歪七扭八的腳踏車從他旁邊滾過去。腳踏車摔到路邊的水溝裡，前輪還在轉，發出哐啷哐啷的聲音。我趕緊放掉他的腳踏車，隨它倒在地上，朝他衝過去。 他翻了個身，抬起頭看看，失神了一下子。他的褲子和襯衫都破掉了，額頭和鼻尖都擦破了皮，傷口很深，血流如注，腳踝也裂開了。他痛得淚水在眼眶裡打轉。他說：泰勒，噢，喔喔對不起，兄弟，把你的腳踏車摔爛了。 我不想強調這次意外，不過，往後的歲月裡所發生的許多事情，經常會讓我聯想到這次意外。後來，傑森的身體也常常和他的機器綁在一起，陷入一種危險的高速狀態中。再後來，他也依然保持臨危不亂的信仰，相信自己只要夠努力，只要不失控，一定能夠靠自己的力量脫困。 ☆ 那台摔爛的腳踏車還在水溝裡，我們也不想管了。我幫傑森把那台名牌腳踏車推回家。他很吃力地走在我旁邊。他很痛，卻努力忍住痛不表現出來。他用手捂住流著血的額頭，好像頭會痛。我猜，他頭真的會痛。 一回到大房子，傑森的爸媽立刻從門廊的階梯上跑下來，到車道上接我們。Edward.羅頓早在書房裡就已經看到我們了。他看起來既生氣又驚慌，噘著嘴巴，神情不悅，緊皺的眉頭幾乎快要把他銳利的眼神遮住了。傑森的媽媽站在他後面，看起來有點冷淡，比較沒那麼關心。她從門口走出來的時候，身體搖搖晃晃。看那副樣子，我猜她可能有點醉了。 艾德華檢查過小傑的傷口後，叫他趕快進屋子去洗乾淨。我忽然覺得小傑變回小孩子了，顯得不那麼有自信了。 然後，艾德華轉身面向我。 他說：泰勒。 yes. 我想這應該不是你的錯。I hope so. 他是不是已經發現，我的腳踏車不見了，但小傑的車卻沒事？他是不是在怪我什麼？我不知道該說什麼，只好低頭看著草地。 艾德華嘆口氣說：我要跟你說明幾件事。你是傑森的朋友，那樣很好。傑森需要朋友。可是你必須明白，像你母親一樣明白，你人在這裡，就要負擔起一定的責任。如果你想和傑森在一起，我希望你能夠照顧他。我希望你發揮你的判斷力。也許在你眼裡，傑森看起來只是一個普普通通的人，但他不是普通人，他非常有天分，他有遠大的前程。我絕對不容許任何事情阻礙他的前程。 That's right.carol羅頓插嘴了。現在我確定傑森他媽真的喝醉了。車道旁邊有碎石鋪成的路邊護欄，隔開了樹籬。她的頭歪一邊，差一點就被護欄絆倒。沒錯，他真他媽的是個天才。他會成為麻省理工學院有史以來最年輕的天才。泰勒，不要傷到他，他很脆弱的。 艾德華還是死盯著我。他口氣平淡地說：卡蘿，進去吧。泰勒，你懂我的意思嗎？ I understand.I answer. 我完全不懂艾德華這個人，但我知道他說的話有一些是真的。沒錯，小傑是很特殊的。沒錯，照顧他正是我的使命。