Chapter 9 All living beings in heaven and earth do not stop

When I woke up, I suddenly realized that I was not mentally prepared to meet her again. I'm in the Berkshires of Massachusetts, in Edward.In the luxurious summer vacation cottage rented by Lawton.Wake up to sunlight filtering through delicate lace roller blinds.Enough of all this shit, I thought to myself.I'm tired of it.These eight years have even continued until Candice and I.That relationship with Booney, it's all self-inflicted bullshit.Candice sees through my self-defeating lies faster than I do.She once said to me: You have an unnatural crush on the Lawtons.well said. Honestly, I can't say I'm still in love with Diane.The relationship between me and her has never been so clear.Feelings that once grew in us fade away like vines tangled in a checkered fence.At its peak, our relationship once developed into a true man-woman relationship.It was so deep, so mature, it almost terrified me.That's why I've been so eager to hide my feelings.I'm afraid such feelings will frighten her too.

Often, late at night, I often found myself speaking to her imaginary, as if whispering whispers echoed in a starless sky.I buried my thoughts about her privately in my heart, but I knew very clearly that we were never really together.I was already prepared in my heart to forget her anytime. I just wasn't ready to meet her again. ☆ I go downstairs.I helped myself to breakfast while Jason sat in the kitchen.He held something against the door and left it open.The breeze gently passed through the room, and a faint fragrance wafted through it.I was seriously considering whether I should throw my luggage in the trunk of the car and drive away.I said: tell me something about the new kingdom.

Jason asked: Don't you even read newspapers?Do you guys at Stony Brook segregate your med students? Of course I had heard of the New Kingdom somewhat, mostly on the TV news, or overheard discussing it over lunch in the school cafeteria.That's the Christian movement sparked by the time spin, or, at least, in the name of a Christian.However, mainstream figures and conservative churches alike have condemned the movement.I know that the New Kingdom movement attracts mainly young people and people who are disaffected by the church.There were a few guys in my first-year med class who just left their school work behind and threw themselves into the New Country way of life.Their school grades were already in jeopardy, so they simply gave up the road to medical school and replaced it with a more relaxed and happy spiritual enlightenment.

Xiaojie said: It is actually something made by people who believe in the millennium blessing.Their millennium has not had time to celebrate its prime, and now it is just in time for the end of the world. In other words, they are religious fanatics. Not quite.The New Kingdom is a motto shared by all Christian hedonist sects, so the movement itself is not religious fanaticism.They do, however, cover groups that look a lot like fanatics.They don't have a single leader, and they don't have a holy book. There are only a handful of peripheral theologians who are barely related to this movement, such as Ritter, Laura.Green Gay is a lot of people.I've seen their books on the shelves of convenience stores.Those theological books that turn back time usually have a question mark in the title, such as: "Have We Witnessed the Second Coming of Christ", "Will We Escape the End of the World".Also, they usually have little routine, just a sort of weekend gathering of local groups.It is not, however, that their teachings will appeal to the masses.Have you seen the video of the New National People's Congress?The kind of film they call a trance?

I have seen it.Moreover, unlike Jason, I have no idea of ​​the emotions and desires of the human body, and I can understand their inner appeal.I saw a video of a party at Cascade National Park last summer.The atmosphere at the scene looked like a Baptist picnic party, or a psychedelic rock concert by the Flower of the Dead.Sunny lawn, wildflowers everywhere, everyone is wearing white robes, as if performing some ceremony, a guy as thin as a skeleton is blowing a Jewish horn.When it was getting dark, they lit a roaring fire and set up a stage on which musicians performed.Then, everyone began to take off their robes and dance, some movements were so intimate that they didn't seem to be dancing.

Although the mainstream media unanimously expressed strong dislike, but in my opinion, such a scene is quite innocent and kind.There was no one preaching at the scene, only hundreds of believers were facing the threat of human extinction with a smile, loving the people around them, as if they wanted others to love them in the same way.That film was burned into hundreds of DVDs and spread to college campuses all over the world, including our Stony Brook campus.There's nothing like Eden's erotic imagery that would entice a lonely med student to jerk off while watching. It's hard for me to imagine that the New Nation Games would appeal to Diane.

exactly the opposite.Diane is exactly their target believer.She was afraid of time spinning around in death, afraid of all the possible consequences of time spinning in this world.For people like her, the New Country was like a painkiller.The new kingdom turned what was most feared in their hearts into an object of love, a door to heaven. How long has she been involved? Almost a year now.Since she knew Simon.Townsend started after that. Is Simon also a believer in the new kingdom of heaven? Simon may be regarded as a fanatic of New Paradise. have you seen this guy Last Christmas, she took him back to the big house.I guess she was looking for a good show, watching Mount Edward erupt.I also know that Edward must not be able to stand Simon.In fact, his hostility was very obvious. (At this time, the expression on Jason's face was a bit painful, probably thinking that Edward Lawton had lost his temper a long time ago.) I didn't expect Diane and Simon to move out of the New Kingdom routine and put the other One cheek is also stretched out.Their big smiles are killing him, and I mean seriously, one more gentle, benevolent smile and Edward is going to the cardiology ward.

I thought to myself, Simon has a lot of face in front of Diane.Are they good for Diane together? He was exactly the kind of person she wanted, and he was also the kind of person she least needed. ☆ That afternoon, they arrived.The car made an earth-shattering noise as they pulled into the driveway.The fifteen-year-old station wagon was belching black smoke, probably more than the gardener's tractor.It was Diane who was driving.She parked the car and climbed out on the side with her back to me, hidden by the roof rack.Simon came out from the side facing me and had a good view from head to toe.He smiled a little shyly.

He's a good-looking guy.One hundred and eighty centimeters tall, maybe almost one hundred and nineteen.He's skinny, but he definitely doesn't look like a weak chicken.His appearance looks ordinary, his face is a bit long, but fortunately, the blond hair that looks difficult to comb makes his appearance a lot.When he smiled, there was a gap between the front teeth.He was wearing jeans and a plain shirt, with a large scarf wrapped around his left upper arm in what appeared to be a tourniquet.I later learned that it was the symbol of the new kingdom. Diane walked around the car and stood beside him.Jason and I were standing on the porch and they were standing below smiling up at us.Her dress is also full of new country flavor.She was wearing a cornflower-blue floor-length dress, a blue burqa, and a comically-looking black wide-brimmed hat, much like the kind worn by Mennonites.But the dress fit her well, or rather, it set off her lovely figure, showing a very healthy breath, even a rustic debauchery.Her face was like unpicked berries on a tree, full of life.She raised her hands over her eyes to shade the sun and smiled broadly.I'd love to believe she was smiling at me in particular.Gosh, that smile, what a wonder, it looks innocent and mischievous at the same time.

I started to feel lost. Jason's cell phone rang tremblingly.He took his phone out of his pocket and looked at the number displayed on it. I can't answer this call.He spoke very quietly. Xiaojie, don't leave me here alone. I'm going to the kitchen, I'll be right back. As he ran away, Simon just threw his large canvas bag onto the wooden porch floor.He said to me: You are Taylor.Dupre! He held out his hand and I took his.He has a strong hand, and he speaks a friendly southern accent. The finals are like polished driftwood, and the rhymes are elegant and melodious, like playing bridge cards.When he called my name, it sounded like a real Cajun, black and white Indian.It's just that my family has always lived in the Northeast and never crossed the town of Millinock, Maine, to the Southeast.Diane jumped up after him and yelled, Taylor!Then he hugged me passionately.My face was suddenly covered by her hair, and at that moment, all I could smell was the sun and salt from her body.

Then we backed off a half step, an arm's length away, feeling much more at ease.Taylor, Taylor.She shouted my name excitedly, as if there was something unusual about me.You look great after all these years. I foolishly said: Eight years, eight years. Wow!Is it really that long? I helped them haul their bags in, led them from the porch into the living room, and then couldn't wait to run to get Jason back.He was still talking on his cell phone in the kitchen.As soon as he saw me enter the kitchen, he turned away hastily. His voice was tense.He said: No, no, not even the State Council? I stopped and didn't go any further.State Department, my God. I can go back in a few hours, if oh I get it, no problem.No, no, it doesn't matter, but if there is any news, let me know immediately, do you understand?Thanks. He stuffed his phone in his pocket, his eyes on me. are you talking to edwardI asked him. It was actually his assistant. all right? Xiaotai, please, want me to leak all the secrets and get in trouble?He forced a smile, but didn't look like it.Hope you just didn't hear anything. I just heard you say you're going back to Washington and leaving me here with Diane and Simon. Oh, there is no other way but to do so.The Chinese are looking for trouble. What do you mean, looking for trouble? They refused to abandon the launch program entirely.They want to retain the freedom to choose. He's talking about nuking the machines that make time gyres.Someone should be trying to convince them, right? We're already using diplomacy, it's just not going very well.Negotiations appear to have reached an impasse. Oh, it's miserable, Xiaojie!What if they did launch? That is to say, two powerful nuclear weapons will detonate within the shortest distance, blowing up those unknown devices related to time gyrations.As for the consequences, well, this question is interesting.However, after all, things have not happened yet, and it may not happen. Are you saying the end of the world won't happen or that the time gyre won't go away keep your voice down.Did you forget that someone else is here?And you're overreacting a little bit.The Chinese think too lightly, and it may be a waste of effort.Even if they do launch, though, it's not necessarily suicidal.Whatever the origins of those supposedly intelligent beings, they must know how to defend themselves without destroying us.What's more, the machines above the North and South Poles may not necessarily be the manufacturing equipment of time gyrations.Those machines might just be simple observation platforms, or communication equipment, or even just a decoy. I said: If the Chinese do launch, how much warning time do we have? That depends on who you mean by us.Ordinary people may not even know that the matter is over. It was at this time that I finally began to understand that Jason was not just his father's apprentice, he had already started to build his own high-level contacts.It was not until later that I learned more about the perihelion foundation, and only then did I know Jason's contribution to the foundation.Currently, the Foundation is just one part of Jason's double life.Even when we were little kids, Jay was already living a double life.Once out of the big house, he was a math whiz.He went through a private high school lined with elites without breaking a sweat, feeling like a star at the Masters playing miniature golf.When he got home, he was just Xiaojie.We have been very careful to maintain this state. Still still.It's just that now, the image projected from the other side of his life is even bigger.As a kid, during the day he simply wowed his calculus teacher at Rice Middle School speechless.Now, in the daytime, he has already stood in a position capable of influencing human history. He continued: "If they do launch, yes, I'd have some warning time.We'll have some warning time.But I don't want Diane to worry about that, or Simon, of course. Very good.I'm just going to put this behind me, it's the end of the world anyway. Don't be so exaggerated.Calm down, Tyler, it hasn't happened yet.If you want something to do, pour yourself a glass of wine. Though he spoke lightly, his hands were shaking as he took four glasses from the cupboard. I should have left long ago.I should have walked out that door, rushed into my car, and driven a long way before I started missing Diane.I thought of Diane and Simon in the front parlour, and their hippie Christian ways.I think of Jay, in the kitchen listening to reports on the end of the world on his phone.I thought to myself, do I really want to be with these people on the last night before the end of the earth? But I also thought at the same time, who else but them?Who else? ☆ Diane said: We met in Atlanta.At that time Georgia hosted a symposium discussing a different kind of spirituality.Simon was there to hear Ritter's speech, and I happened to see him in the school cafeteria.He was sitting there by himself reading The Second Advent, and I was alone, so I put the dinner plate next to him and sat down and started chatting with him. Diane sat with Simon on a plush, dusty sofa by the window.Diane lolled on the armrest, and Simon sat upright, looking alert.The smile on his lips was starting to unsettle me.He is always smiling. The four of us sipped our wine.The curtains fluttered in the light breeze, and a horsefly buzzed outside the screened window.There are so many topics that are inconvenient to talk about, it is really difficult for everyone to chat.I struggled to get a smile like Simon's.So you're still a student? used to be a student.He said. What have you been up to lately? Mostly traveling. Xiaojie said: Simon can afford the travel expenses, and he has inherited a large inheritance. Don't be so rude, okay?Diane said.Her tone was sharp, showing that she was really warning Young-jae.Xiaojie, please, can I take this as an example? But Simon shrugged his shoulders in a nonchalant manner.No no no.What he said is true, I have some spare cash.Diane and I wanted to take this opportunity to see some parts of our country. Jason said again: Simon's grandfather was August.Townsend.He was the king of pipe cleaners in Georgia. Diane gave him a blank look.Simon was still unmoved, and he was beginning to look like a saint.He said: That was long ago.We shouldn't even say that it's a pipe cleaner, which is now used as an art material and used for gift wrapping, called hair root.He smiled.So I can sit here comfortably and inherit the money earned by Maogen's business.As Diane later explained to us, it was actually the wealth created by gift groceries.August.Townsend started out with pipe cleaners, but it was in the wholesale gift and grocery business that he made his real money.He wholesaled little things like tinplate toys, charm bracelets, plastic combs to small grocery stores all over the South.In the 1940s, the family was already a prominent figure in Atlanta social circles. Xiaojie continued to put pressure on: Simon himself does not have what you call a career.He is a free mind. Simon said: I don't think any of us are truly free minds.But, you're right, I don't have a career.Maybe it can be said that I don't want to have a career.It might sound like I'm lazy.Yes, I'm lazy, and that's what bothers me.But, I suspect, what is the use of career in the end?Consider our current situation.I mean no offense.He turned to me and asked: Taylor, are you a doctor? I said: I should be able to study for a doctor of medicine, since I have eaten this profession Don't get me wrong, I think it's great.Maybe it's the most worthwhile industry on earth. Jason criticizes Simon, the last intention is to satirize him as a useless person.Simon's counterargument is that, by and large, professions are useless except for professions like mine.Jason stabbed his sword, and Simon blocked it.I felt like I was watching people fight in a bar, only the fighters were wearing ballet shoes. However, I felt like I wanted to apologize for Jason.In fact, what annoyed Jason was not Simon's attitude towards life, but Simon's appearance here.This week in the Berkshires was supposed to be a long-lost reunion for three: Jason, Diane, and me.We are back in a very comfortable place, reliving old childhood dreams.As a result, we were forced to lock up with Simon in a small place.Jason saw Simon as an intruder just like John.Lennon married Yoko Ono just as out of place, except that this was Yoko Ono with a southern flavor. I asked Diane how long they had been traveling. She said: About a week.Most of the time, though, we'll be traveling along the way this summer.I believe Jason has told you about the New Realm.But that's really cool, Ty.We have friends all over the country.We can play guerrilla on their side for a day or two.So, from July to October, we travel all the way from Maine to Oregon, attending rallies and concerts. Jason said: I guess that would save you a lot of money on accommodation and clothes. Not every gathering is a trance, either.Diane fought back. Said Simon: If that old car fell apart, we wouldn't have to travel at all.The engine is not firing smoothly, and the fuel consumption is getting worse and worse.Unfortunately, I'm not really a car master material.Tyler, do you have any idea about a car engine? understand a little.I said.I knew it was Simon hinting at me, inviting me to go outside with him, and tell Diane to find a way to negotiate a ceasefire with her brother.Let's go and see. It was still sunny.The warm wind blows up in waves from the emerald grass outside the driveway.Simon popped the hood of the old Ford and explained to me the list of problems.To be honest, I was a little distracted when I listened.If he was as rich as Jason said, couldn't he buy a decent car?I was guessing wildly, could it be that their previous generation was addicted to drinking and sex, and their property was squandered, so he didn't inherit any money.Or, maybe his property is all in trust funds and can't be moved at all. Simon said: I'm probably stupid, especially compared with people like you.I've always had trouble understanding scientific or mechanical stuff. I'm no expert either.Even if we can manage to get the engine to run smoothly, before you hit the road across America, it's best to have a real mechanic take a look at it for you. Thanks, Taylor.His eyes widened as if fascinated while I checked the engine.Thanks for your advice. The most likely thing to go wrong should be the spark plug.I asked Simon if they ever changed the spark plugs.He said: As far as I know, it doesn't seem to have been changed.The car has nearly 100,000 kilometers on it.I removed one of the spark plugs with a two-way screwdriver I had in my car and showed him.You see, that's probably all your troubles are here. Just this thing? There are several others.Good news for you, this part won't cost you much to replace.The bad news is that you'd better not drive until you change it. Um.Said Simon. If you'd like to wait until tomorrow morning, I can drive you into town to buy parts. Well, of course.You are so kind.Actually, we didn't intend to leave right away.Oh, unless Jason insists we go. His anger dissipated in no time.he just It's okay, I understand.I know Jason would rather I not be here.I understand this.I wasn't scared, nor was I surprised.Diane just didn't think she should accept a party invitation that wouldn't let me come. Well, she is very interesting.I guess. But I can also rent a room anywhere in town without trouble. There is no need for that.I said this in my mouth, but I couldn't understand it in my heart. How could it turn out that I was consoling Simon.Townsend.Reunited with Diane, I don't know what to expect in my heart, but the existence of Simon has shattered that budding hope.Maybe that's for the best. Simon said: Probably.What Jason told you about the new kingdom, that's been a source of conflict. He told me that you have something to do with the new kingdom. I don't intend to preach to you, but if our movement makes you uncomfortable, maybe I can reassure you. Simon, the only new countries I know are those I saw on TV. Some call it Christian Hedonism.I prefer the name New Country.This simple word really contains too many profound meanings.The way we create the Millennium Bliss is to let ourselves live in the Millennium Bliss, here and now.Let us, the last generation of human beings, live in idyllic poetry, just like our ancient first-generation ancestors did. oh?It's just that Xiaojie has no patience for religion. I know he's impatient, but you know what, Tyler?I don't think it's religious issues that bother him. isn't it? no.Actually, I really admire Jason.Lawton, though, was not because he was famously smart.If only one simple sentence is used to describe him, I think he is also a real discerning connoisseur.He really takes time gyrations seriously.How many people are there on earth?Eight billion people, right?Any one of these eight billion people at least knows that the stars and the moon are gone.But they refused to accept this fact and continued to live like ostriches.Only a handful of people, like us, really believe in spinning time.New Kingdom really believed.Jason believed it too. Surprisingly, that's almost exactly what Jason said.It's just that the style is different. This is the biggest headache of the whole thing.Two viewpoints compete with each other for popular approval.One day, whether we like it or not, the world will have to face the truth.They have to choose whether to understand it from a scientific point of view or to experience it from a religious point of view?That's what Jason was worried about.When a person is faced with life and death, religion always wins.Where do you prefer to find eternal life?In paradise on earth, or a desolate laboratory? For Simon, the answer was clearly clear.But for me, the answer is not so black and white.I thought of Mark.Twain also once answered similar questions.He said: I go to heaven because the weather is good there.Going to hell is to find a companion. ☆ Arguments could be heard in the house.It was Diane's voice, yelling.Jason's response was cold and indifferent.Simon and I pulled out some folding chairs from the garage and sat under the shady carport, waiting for the two twins to finish their argument.We chat about the weather.The weather was excellent, and we agreed on that. The noise in the house finally subsided.After a while, Jason came out and asked us to help him barbecue, the expression on his face looked like he had been punished.We walked around the back of the house with him and chatted lightly while we waited for the grill to heat up.Diane came out of the house with an excited expression, but triumphant.In the past, every time she won an argument with Jason, there would be that expression on her face, a little rebellious, a little overjoyed. We sat down in the kitchen and ate the chicken with iced tea and the leftover mixed salad of three beans.Do you mind if I pray?asked Simon. Jason rolled his eyes, but nodded anyway. Simon bowed his head solemnly.I braced myself and prepared to listen to his preaching, but unexpectedly he only said two or three sentences: May the Lord give us the courage to accept the grace you have placed before us, now and then.Amen. Prayer is not an expression of gratitude, but a prayer for courage.It is in line with the immediate needs.Diane smiled at me across the table and pinched Simon's arm.We started to eat. ☆ We finished eating quickly, and the sun was still lingering in the sky.It was not too late, and the mosquitoes had not come out to wreak havoc.The wind stopped, and there was a softness in the cold air. Somewhere out there, things are changing dramatically. We don't know what's going on yet.Even the well-connected Jason was not notified.Between the time we took our first bite of chicken and the last bite of our salad, the Chinese had already withdrawn from the negotiations and immediately ordered the launch of several modified Dongfeng missiles loaded with thermonuclear warheads.By the time we were pulling the beer out of the ice bucket, the missile might have arced its way up into the air.The green beer bottle is shaped like a missile, as if it is too hot and sweating. We cleared the table outside on the deck.I told them Simon's spark plug had burned out and I was going to drive Simon to town tomorrow morning.Diane whispered a few words to her brother, then nudged him after a while, and Jason finally nodded and turned to Simon and said, "There's an auto department store outside Stockbridge. , they are open until nine o'clock.Do you want me to give you a ride now? It was a gesture of peace, though it seemed a little reluctant.Simon was a little surprised at first, but soon returned to normal.He said: "Since you are so kind, and you can go for a ride in a Ferrari, I can't resist it." I can open your eyes to how fast it can go.Jason's annoyance quickly evaporated at the sight of the opportunity to show off his precious car.Jason ran into the house to get the keys.Simon looked back with a oh my god look before he followed him.I look at Diane.She smiled broadly, proud of her diplomatic triumph. Somewhere outside, the Dongfeng missile traveled through the time circle isolation layer, gradually approaching the set target.In my imagination, it was a very weird picture: the missile was completely controlled by the internal program, flying over the dark, cold, and motionless earth, aiming at the seemingly inconspicuous man-made object.Those objects were suspended hundreds of kilometers above the North and South Poles. It seems that there is a play on the stage, but there is no audience underneath, which feels very abrupt. ☆ Afterwards, we have a reasonable inference: after the Chinese missile detonated, it did not affect the time gradient.Seriously affected is the visual filter layer that surrounds the Earth.Of course, human beings' conception of time gyrations has also been severely impacted. A few years ago, Jason pointed out that the time gradient means that, were it not for the deliberate filtering of hypothetical intelligent beings, a surprising amount of fully blue-shifted radiation would spread across the entire surface of the earth.Each second of sunlight would be more than three years old, enough to kill any living thing on Earth, enough to destroy the fertility of soil, enough to boil the oceans.Hypothetical intelligent creatures help the earth to build a layer of time enclosure, and also help us block the deadly side effects.Furthermore, hypothetical intelligent beings control not only how much energy is transmitted to a stationary Earth, but also how much light and heat the Earth itself reflects back into space.Perhaps this is why, over the past few years, the weather has always been so pleasant and so average. At least, at 7:55 ETST, the moment the Chinese nuclear missile hit its target, the Berkshire sky was still cloudless and as clear as Ireland's famous Waterford crystal. ☆ Diane and I were in the front room when the phone rang. Did we notice anything before Jason called in?The light changed, but nothing was felt, as if it were just a cloud passing in front of the sun.No, nothing, my attention is on Diane.We drank cold drinks and chatted about family affairs.We chatted about which books we read and which movies we watched.The fascinating part of a conversation is not the content of the conversation, but the rhythm of the conversation, a kind of rhythm.When we are alone, we are immersed in that rhythm, whether it was then or is now.Whether it's between friends or lovers, conversation creates a unique rhythm that can be relaxed and soothing, or awkward and clumsy.Even in the dullest conversation, there is a hidden meaning in the words, like an underground river.We talked about commonplace clichés, but the hidden meanings in the words were so deep, and sometimes there were even dangers lurking. Before long, we seemed to touch something in each other's hearts, like Simon.Townsend and the past eight years have become meaningless.Maybe it was a joke at first, and then it gradually became less of a joke.I told her that I miss her very much.She said: Several times, I really want to talk to you, I need to talk to you.But I don't have your phone number, or think you must be busy. You should be able to find my number, and I'm not busy. You're right.Actually, that feels like moral cowardice. Am I that scary? Not you, but our situation.I always feel that I should apologize to you, but I don't know where to start.There was a little weariness in her smile.Still don't seem to know what to say. Diane, there is nothing to apologize for. Thanks for saying that, but I don't think so.We are not children anymore.Now, I seem to be able to look back at the past with a deeper perspective.The two of us seem to be able to not touch each other's bodies, but still feel very close.And yet, that's exactly what we can't do, not even talk about.It was as if the two of us had silently made a vow. From the night the stars disappeared.I said.I suddenly felt parched, surprised at myself, and suddenly felt a wave of fear and an impulse of passion in my heart. Diane waved.That night, that night Do you know what I remember about that night?It's Jason's telescope.While the two of you are looking at the sky, I'm looking at the big house through the binoculars.I had completely forgotten about the stars.All I remember is that I saw Carol in the back room with a caterer.She was drunk and it looked like she was flirting with the man.She smiled a little embarrassedly.That was the end of my little world.In the past, the big house, my family, everything I hated, all summed up that night.I just want to pretend none of this exists.no carol, no edward, no jason without me too? The atmosphere of the conversation has changed.She came over from the sofa and stroked my cheek with one hand.Her hands were cold, as cold as an iced drink in her hands.you are the only exception.I'm scared.You are so patient, I appreciate it. but we can't touching each other's bodies. close contact.Edward absolutely couldn't stand it. She drew her hand back.We can hide it from him if we really want to.But you're right, the problem is Edward.His influence is everywhere.He made your mother live like a second-class person, which is really low-class and low-quality.Can I be honest?I simply hated being his daughter.I especially hate the thought that if, you know what, if anything happens between us, it might be your revenge on Edward.Lawton's method. She sat back on the sofa.I think she seemed a little surprised by herself. I say this carefully: of course not like that. I am confused. Is this the purpose of your joining the New Kingdom?Revenge on Edward? She smiled and said: No.I'm not in love with Simon because he pissed off my dad.Xiaotai, life is not that simple. I did not mean that But have you ever caught yourself harboring some sort of bias?Doubt will seep into your mind and linger.No, New Kingdom has nothing to do with my father.The new kingdom is to find divinity from the changes of the earth, and then express this divinity in daily life. Maybe the time spin is not so simple. Simon said that we either die or we are transformed. He told me that you are creating the kingdom of heaven on earth. Isn't this what Christians are supposed to do?Create the kingdom of God by proclaiming the kingdom of God in your life. Or at least dance your way into God's Kingdom. Now your tone sounds a lot like Jason.I certainly can't defend everything about the sport.We were in Philadelphia last week at a clandestine meeting and met a couple about our own age who were friendly and intelligent.Simon said they were living souls.We went out to dinner and talked about the Second Coming.Then they invited us to a hotel room.沒想到，他們忽然在桌子上灑了一排古柯鹼，開始放色情影片。毫無疑問，總是有少數奇奇怪怪的人會依附在新國度。而對那些人來說，神學幾乎是不存在的，除了伊甸園的模糊形象。但好的一面是，運動確實達到了本身的宣示，成為一種純正的生活信仰。 信仰什麼，黛安？出神？雜交？ 話才剛說出口，我就後悔了，她看起來有一點受傷。出神和雜交並沒有關係。無論如何，成功進入出神的境界時，就不會有雜交的現象了。不過，在神的聖體中，只要不是為了報復或受到憤怒的驅使，只要表達了神性和人類的愛，任何行為都是沒有禁忌的。 The phone rang again.我臉上大概看起來有罪惡感。黛安看到我的表情，笑了起來。 我一拿起電話，傑森劈頭就說：我說過我們有預警時間，對不起，我錯了。 What did you say? 泰勒你沒有看到天空嗎？ ☆ 於是我們到樓上去，找一扇可以看到夕陽的窗戶。 西邊的臥室很寬敞，有一座桃花心木的櫥櫃，黃銅邊框的床。我把窗簾拉開，黛安倒抽了一口涼氣。 夕陽不見了。或者應該說，有好幾個夕陽。 整面西邊的天空一片通紅，有如熊熊的火光。原本的太陽圓球不見了，一道圓弧形的紅色光暈跨越海平線，延伸了十五度角，彷彿同時有十幾個夕陽交互閃爍。光芒變化無常，忽而明亮，忽然黯淡，彷彿是遠處的火光。 我們目瞪口呆地看著眼前的景象，恍恍惚惚不知道過了多久。黛安終於說話了：泰勒，出了什麼事？how so? 我把傑森告訴我的中國發射核子飛彈的事跟她說了。 他知道這件事可能會發生？她問了以後，又自言自語，他當然知道。奇異的光芒將房間染成了深深的粉紅色調，映照在她的臉頰上，好像在發燒。我們會死嗎？ 傑森不這麼認為。不過，那會嚇死全世界的人。 可是到底有沒有危險？輻射線或是什麼的？ 我懷疑，不過也不是毫無可能。我說：看看電視好了。每個房間都有一台等離子電視，掛在床對面牆壁的鑲板上。我推測，如果有任何輕度致命的輻射線，都足以摧毀電視訊號的傳送和接收。 可是電視好好的，上面還有新聞頻道，看得到歐洲的各大城市一片漆黑，大批群眾聚集在一起。黑暗，或許是因為那邊已經快要晚上了。沒有致命的輻射線，倒是有不少初期的恐慌。黛安坐在床沿，一動也不動，雙手交疊在大腿上，顯然心裡很害怕。我坐到她旁邊，跟她說：如果有任何致命的危險，我們現在早就死了。 外面的夕陽在閃爍中漸漸變暗。漫渙的光暈散開成好幾個單獨的夕陽，個個像鬼魅一樣蒼白，接著，一輪太陽的光環像發光的彈簧一樣，變成一道光弧橫跨整個天空，隨後又突然消失。 我們坐在那裡，緊緊靠在一起，看著天空逐漸變暗。 然後，星星出來了。 ☆ 我趁著電話訊號的頻寬還沒有被蓋掉之前，設法又聯絡上小傑。他說，天空發生變化的時候，賽門正好剛付過錢，買了他車子要用的火星塞。斯托克布里奇鎮向外的道路已經擠滿了車，收音機播報說，波士頓發生了幾起零星的搶劫，所有的主要幹道都交通阻塞，所以小傑把車子停到一間汽車旅館後面的停車場，訂了一個房間，他和賽門準備在那裡過夜。他說，明天一早，他可能必須趕回華盛頓，不過他要先把賽門載回度假小屋。 然後他把電話拿給賽門，我把電話拿給黛安，然後走到房間外面，讓她和未婚夫說話。度假小屋很寬敞，空蕩蕩的，看起來有點陰森。我繞著屋子裡面走了一圈，把燈打開。後來，我聽到她叫我回去。 我問她：想再喝一杯嗎？ 她說：噢，太好了。 ☆ 午夜剛過，我們走到外面去。 黛安看起來勇敢一點了。賽門一定跟她說了一些新國度式的激勵話語。在新國度的教義裡，並沒有傳統基督教基督復臨的說法，沒有世界末日前夕癡迷極樂想被提往天國，也沒有世界末日善惡決戰的戰場哈米吉多頓。時間迴旋是這一切的總和，一切古老的預言都間接實現了。賽門說，如果上帝想用天空這面大畫布，為我們畫出赤裸裸的時間幾何圖形，他就會這樣做，而在這樣的時刻，我們的敬畏和恐懼是完全正常的。然而，我們不應該任由這些情緒淹沒自己，因為時間迴旋最終是一次救贖的行動，是人類歷史最後的，也是最美好的一章。 That's about it. 所以，我們走到外面，仰望天空，因為黛安認為這是勇敢而充滿神性的行為。天空萬里無雲，空氣中飄散著陣陣松香。公路離我們很遙遠，但我們偶爾還是會聽到隱隱約約的汽車喇叭聲和救護車的警笛。 天空到處綻放出片段般的光芒，此起彼落，我們投映在地上的身影，彷彿環繞著我們舞蹈。我們坐在門廊幾公尺外的草地上，門廊的燈散射著安定的光芒。黛安依偎在我的肩膀上，我的手環繞著她。我們兩個人都有點醉了。 儘管感情冰凍了許多年，儘管我們在大房子有一段那樣的過去，儘管她和賽門．湯森訂婚了，儘管新國度的出神儀式令我難以釋懷，儘管核子武器引發了天空的錯亂，此刻，我只意識到她的身體緊緊依偎在我身上，如此美好。我的手感覺到她手臂的曲線，我的肩膀感受到她頭的重量，奇怪的是，那種感覺卻是如此真切，如此熟悉，彷彿那不是新的發現，而是昔日的記憶。我一直都知道，她會有什麼樣的感受。甚至她身上散發出來的恐懼感，都是如此熟悉。 天空綻放著火花般奇異的光芒。那不是迴旋的宇宙所發出的純光。那種未經過濾的純光會在瞬間殺死我們。此刻，天空陸續綻放著瞬間一閃而逝的光芒，就像是相機設定連續拍攝那樣，一張又一張的天空影像。連綿不斷的午夜黑暗被壓縮成百萬分之一秒的片段，光芒熄滅後，留下的影像是相機閃光之後的殘影。接著，我們又看到同樣的天空，但那已經是一世紀或一千年後的天空，就像超現實電影裡的連續鏡頭。有些畫面是模糊的長時間曝光，星光和月光變成鬼魅般的圓球、圓圈，或是阿拉伯彎刀。有些像是清晰而迅速消失的定格畫面。靠近北邊的天空，圓弧線條和圓圈變窄了，半徑比較小。而靠近赤道的星星移動就比較快，像跳華爾滋舞一樣，輕盈地畫出一個巨大的橢圓形。月亮忽而滿月，忽而半月，然後愈來愈黯淡，忽明忽暗地閃爍著，從地平線的一端劃過天空跑到另一端，留下橘色的透明軌跡。銀河是一條忽明忽暗的帶狀白色螢光，閃爍著無數忽而閃亮忽而暗淡的星星。在夏日的空氣中，在呼吸起伏之間，有星星誕生了，有星星殞滅了。 所有的一切都在動。 一切都在一場龐大複雜的微光之舞中游動，而那舞蹈也在告訴我們，還有一個更龐大、現在還看不見的周期循環。我們頭上的天空像心臟般地跳動著。黛安說：好有活力。 我們短暫的意識之窗將一個偏見強行植入我們的心中。我們總是認為，會動的東西是活的，不會動的東西是死的。在靜止的、死的石頭下面，活生生的蟲雙雙對對。恆星和行星也在動，但只是遵循著死氣沉沉的重力定律在移動。石頭會墜落，但石頭不是活的。而星球軌道的運動只不過是同樣的墜落無限延長罷了。 然而，如果我們像那些假想智慧生物一樣，延長我們蜉蝣般的短暫存在，原本明顯的差異就會模糊了。星星會誕生、生存、死亡，將原始的灰燼遺留給新的星星。星星各式各樣的整體運動並不簡單，而且是難以想像的複雜，是引力與運行速度交織的舞蹈，美麗曼妙而又令人驚駭。令人驚駭是因為，痛苦掙扎的星星像地震一樣，使原本應該固定不動的東西開始變化萬千。令人驚駭是因為，我們最深沉的有機作用的奧祕，我們的交配和黏膩骯髒的繁殖行動，原來這一切根本就不是祕密。原來，星星一樣會流血，一樣費力掙扎。天地眾生無一停駐，萬物川流不息。我忘了在哪裡讀到這句話。 黛安說：希臘哲學家赫拉克利圖斯。 我不知道自己唸出聲音來。 黛安說：過去那些年，大房子那段過去，所有他媽的浪費掉的那些年，我知道 我用手指抵住她的嘴唇。我知道她已經明白了一切。 她說：我要進去。我要回房間去。 ☆ 我們沒有把捲簾放下來。迴旋流轉的星星散發著光芒，照進房間。黑暗中，流離的光影形成模糊的圖案，在我和黛安的皮膚上遊走。彷彿城市的燈火輝煌穿透雨水漫渙的玻璃窗照進來，寧靜無聲，蜿蜒扭曲。我們靜默無言，因為言語會成為我們之間的障礙，言語會成為欺騙。我們在靜默中激情纏綿。纏綿過後，我不由自主地想著：讓此刻永遠停駐。That's enough. 當天空再次沉入黑暗，當天空的煙火燦爛終於黯然平息，消失無蹤，我們也沉沉睡去。中國的飛彈攻擊到頭來只不過是一種姿態。全球的恐慌導致數千人死亡，但這次的攻擊並沒有直接的受害者。地球上沒有，而我猜，那些假想智慧生物應該也沒有。 第二天早上，太陽依然在同樣的時間出現了。 電話鈴聲吵醒了我。床上只剩下我一個人。黛安在另一個房間接電話，然後進來跟我說，是小傑打來的。他說，路上已經沒車了，他現在正在回來的路上。 她已經洗過澡，穿好衣服，身上滿是肥皂的香味和棉布漿燙過的氣味。我說：就這樣嗎？賽門回來了，然後你們就開車走了？昨天晚上毫無意義嗎？ 她上床坐在我旁邊。昨天晚上並不代表我不和賽門走。 我以為昨天晚上有更多意義。 昨天晚上的意義遠超過我所能說的，但過去並沒有一筆勾銷。我已經許下承諾，而且，我有信仰。這一切也為我的人生劃下一條界線。 我感覺得到她並沒有自己說得那麼堅定。我說：信仰。告訴我，妳不相信這些狗屁。 她站起來，皺起眉頭。 她說：也許我沒有信仰，但也許我需要一個有信仰的人在我旁邊。 ☆ 小傑和賽門還沒有回來，我就打包好行李，放到車上。黛安站在門廊上，看著我蓋上後行李廂。 她說：我會打電話給你。 我說：我等妳電話。