Chapter 23 desperate excitement

Eight months have passed since Van Novin's address to the United Nations General Assembly.The ultra-low temperature cultivation tanks in the foundation have begun to bear fruit.The number of replicas developed by the Martians is now enough to be loaded on the rocket.At Cape Canaveral and Vandenberg Air Force Base, swarms of Delta Seven rockets are ready to launch replicas into space.Around that time, Van Novin had a sudden urge to see the Grand Canyon.What piqued his interest was a year-old Arizona Road Trip magazine.It was brought to his room by a biologist, but he forgot to take it away.

A few days later, he showed me the magazine.He said: Look at this.He was almost trembling with excitement as he spoke, and the magazine in his hand was folded back to the page with a large photo.That photo is a close-up of the Bright Angel Trail after it was rebuilt. The Colorado River split the huge Precambrian sandstone and poured into a green lake.The photo also shows a tourist from Dubai in the Middle East riding on a donkey.Tyler, have you ever heard of the Grand Canyon? Have I ever heard of the Grand Canyon?It seems that there should be many people who have heard of it. So amazing and so beautiful.

It was spectacular, everyone said so.But aren't the canyons of Mars also famous? He smiled.You are probably talking about the Fallen Land, which is what you people on Earth call the Valley of Sailors.Sixty years ago, your spaceship Mars Mariner flew into the orbit of Mars, discovered this canyon, and gave it this name.Your sixty years ago can also be said to be our ten thousand years ago.There are parts of Sailors Valley that do look a lot like these pictures of Arizona.However, I have never been to the Valley of the Mariners myself, and I probably won't have the chance to go there in the future.I thought, I'd rather go see the Grand Canyon.

Then go, we are a free country. Hearing me say this, Wan Nuowen blinked.Perhaps this was the first time he had heard it.He nodded and said: That's great, I will definitely go.I'll talk to Jason and ask him to arrange transportation for me.Do you want to go with me? What, go to Arizona? yes!Taylor!Go to Arizona, go to the Grand Canyon!He may be a fourth-year wise elder, but, at this moment, he talks like a ten-year-old boy.Do you want to come with me? I'm going to think about it. While still thinking about it, I received a call from Edward.Lawton called. ☆ Since Romesi was elected president, Edward.Lawton disappeared from the political arena.His contacts in industry are still strong.As long as he holds a banquet, he can still invite a group of dignitaries.It's just that he can no longer stand at the peak of power in palace politics and enjoy the fun of calling the wind and rain like he did when President Gulen was still in office.In fact, there were rumors that he was on the verge of a mental breakdown, spending his days at his Georgetown apartment, harassing former political associates on the phone.Maybe, but neither Jay nor Diane had gotten a call from him recently.When I picked up the phone at home and heard his voice, I was suddenly stunned.

He said: I want to talk to you. That's where it gets interesting.This person bribed Jasmine.Xi Gelan, colluded with her to use her beauty trick to steal information.How dare he call me.My first reaction, and probably the most correct one, was to hang up.However, such a move is too rude. He added: I want to talk to you about Jason. Then you go talk to him. Tyler, I can't talk to him, he won't listen to me. Are you surprised? He sighed.Well, I know you are from the same country as him, that's for sure.However, I didn't mean to hurt him.I want to help him.The matter is already very urgent, and it concerns his future.

I don't know what you mean. Damn, I can't speak clearly on the phone.I'm in Florida now and I'm off the freeway in twenty minutes.You come to the restaurant to find me, and I'll treat you to a glass of wine, even if you scold me in person and tell me to get out, it doesn't matter.Please, Taylor.Eight o'clock, the bar in the lobby of the hotel, the Hilton Hotel next to Highway 95.Maybe you can save Jay's life. Before I could answer, he hung up the phone. I called Jason and told him about it. He said: Wow!If the rumors are true, Edward is harder to serve now than before.be careful.

I don't intend to go. Of course you don't have to go, but I think you should. I've had enough of Edward's little tricks, thank you, no need. I was just thinking that it wouldn't be a bad thing if I could figure out what Edward was thinking. You mean, you want me to meet him? If you don't feel uncomfortable in your heart, I hope you go there. What do you mean you won't feel uncomfortable? Of course, it's up to you to decide whether to go or not. Later, I got into the car and drove on the highway honestly.Although tomorrow is July 4th, national day flags have already been hung on the roads.There are some hawkers selling flags on street corners.They were unlicensed, and if the police came, they were ready to hop in their battered trucks and run for their lives.As I was driving, I thought in my mind, see Edward later.Lawton had something to say to fix him.By the time I arrived at the Hilton, the sun had already gone behind the building.The clock in the hall reads eight thirty-five.

Edward sat in a small box at the bar and drank heavily.He seemed surprised to see me.He stood up and grabbed my arm and pulled me to sit on the bench across from him. Want a drink? I won't stay long. Have a drink, Tyler, so you won't be so angry. Are you less angry?You might as well speak straight, Edward. When someone calls me by my name in a bad way, I know he's mad.Why are you so angry?Is it because of your girlfriend and that doctor?I forget his name, Mustang?Listen to me, I want you to understand that I wasn't the one who designed you.They did this without my approval at all.Those under me were too eager to show off.They have chicken feathers for arrows, so you'd think I did it.

Can't you even make up a decent excuse for doing such a nasty thing? I guess you can't stand it either.I admit it, and I apologize to you.Let's talk about something else, shall we? I was about to stand up and leave.I didn't go, probably because I sensed a kind of hopeless anxiety emanating from him.Edward was the same, exuding an involuntary sense of superiority, yet deliberately genial, and was revered in the family for this reason.However, he has lost that confidence now.When he finished his speech, he fell into a moment of silence.At this time, he seemed a little at a loss, either touching his chin, folding and unfolding the napkin, or stroking his hair.He had almost finished his second glass of wine, but he hadn't spoken yet.Maybe he's had more than two drinks.The waitress came around again, still looking cheerful and lively.

He finally spoke again.Jason will listen to you. If you have something to say to Jason, why not just go to him? Because I can't.The reason should be clear to you. What do you want me to tell him? Edward looked at me, then down at the glass.I want you to tell him to shut down the whole clone project.Shutting down means turning off the refrigeration unit and destroying the contents. I couldn't believe my ears. Do you think it is possible? I'm not old-fashioned, Tyler. then why are you Because he is my son. You just thought of it now? Is he not my son because of our political conflict?Do you think I'm blind enough to separate the two things?Do you think I'm against him, that's why I don't love him?

I only believe what I see with my own eyes. You can't see anything clearly.He looked away, as if thinking about what to say.He added: Jason has become Van Novin's minion.I hope he can wake up and see what's going on. You trained him to be a minion, your minion.You just don't like to see other people make such an impact on him. Bullshit, you are just bullshit.I mean, come on, frankly, maybe you're right, I don't know, maybe we both need to go to family counseling.But that's beside the point.The point is, now the big shots in the country are all fascinated by Wan Nuowen and his clone project.The reason is simple, because his plan costs nothing and can be used to please voters.Anyway, a dead horse is treated as a living horse doctor, so no one cares whether this plan will succeed or not.If nothing can be done, then the end of the world is almost at hand, so when the whole sky is on fire, everyone's problem is not a problem anymore, is it?isn't it?They made the whole plan grandiose, as if it was a desperate attempt, the last hope of mankind.But, to put it bluntly, it was nothing more than a magician's trick, just to coax the bumpkins. I said: Your analysis is very interesting, but Do you think I'm here just to tell you some fun analysis?If you want to argue with me, you should ask some real questions. For example? For example, what is the origin of Wan Nuowen?Who sent him?What is the purpose?No matter how amazing he is on TV, do you really think he is Gandhi from Lilliputian?Do you really think he is so noble?He came to earth because he has a plan for us.From the first day he came, he had intentions. He wants to launch a replica. That's right. What's wrong with that? What you should be asking is, why don't the Martians launch themselves? Because they cannot represent the entire solar system, because this matter concerns the entire solar system, they cannot take actions without authorization. He rolled his eyes.Taylor, that's the apparent reason.Talking about multilateralism and international cooperation, talking about international etiquette, this is no different from saying I love you, the purpose is to quickly trick your hands into bed.Unless, of course, he's really an angel who came down to earth to save us from the clutches of the devil.Do you believe? In fact, Wan Nuowen himself has repeatedly denied it, so I cannot refute Edward. You should take a look at their technology.These guys have been doing cutting-edge biotechnology for almost a thousand years.If they really wanted to send those tiny robots into space, they would have done so long ago.So, why not do it?Leaving aside those benevolent, high-sounding reasons, what we have to ask is, why?The answer is simple, because they fear reprisals from hypothetical intelligent beings. Worried about reprisals from hypothetical intelligent beings?They, like us, know nothing about hypothetical intelligent beings. That's what they say.That doesn't mean they won't be afraid.As for us, we're a bunch of fucking idiots.Long ago, we launched nuclear weapons against the machines they placed over the North and South Poles.Yes, if our earth is to take the blame, wouldn’t that be the best of both worlds?God, Tyler, did you see that, this is a typical frame-up.It is probably difficult for anyone to be more cunning than them. Maybe you are paranoid. Yeah?It's been so long since time has spun, who isn't paranoid?The whole world is paranoid.We all know that there is a monstrous force of evil that controls our lives, which is probably what you would call paranoia. I said: I am just an ordinary general practitioner.However, a really smart guy told me You're probably talking about Jason.Jason tells you that human beings can still be saved. Not only Jason, but also the entire Lomez government, the majority of members of Congress. It's just that they were all led by the nose by those egghead scholars, and those eggheads were also stunned by these things just like Jason.Do you want to know why your good friend Jason is so interested in this project?That's because of fear.He was terrified that he would die inexplicably.The current situation is that if he dies inexplicably, it means that all human beings will die inexplicably.Human beings can be regarded as very intelligent creatures, so when he thinks that the human species will be eliminated by the universe, but he still doesn't understand the reason, it will scare the shit out of Jason.So, great doctor, instead of diagnosing me here and calling me paranoid, you might as well check up on your friend and see if he is suffering from grand delusional disorder.He wants to unravel the mystery of time gyrations before he dies, and he takes this as his mission.At this time, Wan Nuowen appeared.He gave matches to a pyromaniac. You really want me to tell him that? I'm not Edward suddenly getting a little sullen.Or maybe it's just the alcohol in his blood kicking up.I just thought maybe he'd listen to you You should know your son's temper. He closes his eyes.I guess so.I don't know either.But I have to try, you know?Otherwise I would have a bad conscience.It is surprising that he should say that he has a conscience.This is my truth.I felt as if I was watching a train derail in slow motion.The wheels had derailed, but the driver didn't notice.So, what should I do?Is it too late to raise the alarm?Is it too late to yell and get out of the way?Maybe it's too late, but Tyler, he's my son.The man driving the train is my son. He wasn't the only one in danger, the whole world was the same. you are wrong.Even if this plan is successful, all we get is some abstract information.Maybe Jason thinks this is enough, but people all over the world won't be satisfied with that.You don't know Preston.Ramesh this person, but I know it well.Ramesh would have been more than happy to label Jason a loser, throw him out of the Meridian Gate and behead him.There is a group of people in the government who want to see the foundation close its doors, or change its name to become a military institution.This is still the most optimistic outcome.The most tragic ending is that the hypothetical intelligent beings get pissed off and turn the time spin off. Are you afraid that Lomys will shut down the Foundation? I started the Foundation, and yes, of course I care.But that's not what I'm here for today. I can pass on what you said to Jason, but do you think he'll change his mind? At this time, Edward stared blankly at the table, showing a kind of bewildered look, and there seemed to be a little tear in his eyes.No, he certainly won't, but if he wants to talk to me I just want to let him know that he can always find me.If he is willing to talk to me, I will never make him feel guilty.I mean it, as long as he's willing to talk to me. At this moment, he seemed to open a door, and what I saw was the loneliness of an old man pouring out. Jason believes that Edward's coming to Florida must be planning a Jedi counterattack.The former Edward might have.However, the Edward before me at this moment is a very old, remorseful old man who has just lost his power.The old man found solace in the glass, and drifted with guilt. My tone is more relaxed.I said: Have you contacted Diane? Diane?He waved his hand disapprovingly.Diane's phone number has changed and I can't find her.Anyway, she's hanging out with a bunch of doomsday fanatics. Edward, they are not fanatics.They're just a small church with weird ideas.Compared with Diane, Simon is a little more fanatical. She was scared out of her wits by the whirlwind of time.People of your generation are probably pretty much the same.She fell headfirst into this shitty religion before she really grew up.I am very impressed.The time spin made her very depressed.During dinner at night, she would suddenly start to say Saint Thomas.Aquinas' famous saying.I had hoped that Carol would be able to persuade her, but Carol was of no use.This is not surprising.So, you know what I can come up with?I set up a debate between her and Jason.I noticed that for about half a year, they were arguing about God.So I had them have a formal debate, which, you probably know, is the kind of debate you get in college.The trick is that I have them switch roles, arguing for the side they are against.Jason has to argue for the existence of God, while Diane has to do so from an atheistic point of view. They never told me about it.However, I can easily imagine their frustration when Edward sent them this kind of homework. I want her to understand how easily she can be deceived.She is serious.I think she probably hoped that I would compliment her.Basically, she was just paraphrasing what Jason had said to her.But when Jason talked about it, the pride on his face was obvious.His eyes began to light up, and his face glowed red again.Jason was so smart, scary smart, too smart to talk about.Jason refuted every argument Diane made, and then fought back.He is not picking up the tooth and wisdom of others.He himself read a lot of theories, and read a lot of academic papers on the Bible.He took it easy all the way through, the way he said, look, I can argue with you the other way around, I'm as familiar with these things as you are.I can argue with you even in my sleep, but in my eyes, these arguments are vulnerable.He beat Diane to the point where she had no room for parry.By the end, Diane was crying.She persevered until the end, but cried with snot and tears. I was dumbfounded. Seeing my expression, he seemed a little embarrassed, and his face twitched a little.Don't put on that sanctimonious look in front of me.I just wanted to teach her a lesson.I hope she can be more practical, instead of digging into the corners of the time circle like others, but can't take practical actions.Your generation is fucking Don't you even care if she's still alive? Of course I care. Edward, not only can you not find her, but no one has heard from her recently.She is missing.I was wondering if I should find a way to find her.Do you think this is good? At this time, the waitress came over with another glass of wine.All of a sudden, Edward seemed to only have that glass of wine in his eyes, and he was no longer interested in talking about this matter, talking to me anymore, and caring about the outside world anymore.Ok, I'd like to know if she's doing well, too.He took off his glasses and wiped them with a napkin.Well, Taylor, you really should go. That's why I decided to go to Arizona with Van Novin. ☆ Traveling with Wan Nuowen is almost like traveling with a Uranus superstar or a president. The security is heavily guarded and there is no freedom, but it is super efficient.The plane is a special plane, which takes off and lands on time, and is escorted by a convoy on the road.It didn't take long for us to stand at the beginning of the Bright Angel Trail.At that time, there were still three weeks before the launch date of the replica. It was a July day, and the weather was so hot that it was about to explode, and the sky was as clear and blue as a stream. There is a row of guardrails on the edge of the canyon, and Van Novin is standing next to the guardrails.The National Park Service has closed trails and visitor centers to visitors.They sent three of the best and most photogenic patrolmen to guide Van Novin to explore at the bottom of the canyon.A whole detachment of federal security personnel was also to follow.They wore gun holsters on their shoulders and white casual shirts.They are going to camp overnight at the bottom of the valley. The government had promised Van Novin a little privacy when they set off on a tour.But now, this place has become a circus.The media vans crowded the parking lot, journalists and paparazzi climbed the cordon with hungry and begging expressions on their faces.Helicopters circled along the rim of the canyon to capture footage.Nevertheless, Van Novin was very happy.Grinning, he sucked in the pine-scented air of the canyon.It was terribly hot.I thought that the Martian must not be able to stand this kind of weather, but he didn't show any pain, but I saw the sweat on his wrinkled skin glistening.He was wearing a light khaki shirt, matching trousers, and kid-sized loafers.He had been wearing those shoes for several weeks, and they finally got them right.He took several swigs from an aluminum military jug, then asked me if I wanted a drink. He said: Drinking water is an alliance. I laughed.You keep it and drink it slowly.I'm afraid that's not enough water for you. Tyler, I wish you could come down with me.There is a saying that he said a few Martian words.Too many delicacies, one pot is not enough; too many beautiful scenery, one pair of eyes can't finish it. There is also a lot of G-type detectives to share with you. He glanced at the security personnel with disgust.Unfortunately, they may not have the means to share.These people are blind. Does this idiom exist on Mars? He said: The meaning is almost the same. ☆ The governor of Arizona just arrived.Van Noven said a few kind and friendly words to the governor and the media interview team.At this time, I borrowed a car from the foundation and set off for Phoenix. No one will bother me, and no one will follow my ass.The media is not interested in me at all.Maybe I'm Vannovan's personal physician on the surface, maybe some of the regular journalists recognize me, but once I'm away from Vannovan's tattoos, I'm not newsworthy, not at all.It's a good feeling.I turned on the air-conditioning in the car, and eventually, the car started to have a Canadian autumn feeling.Perhaps this feeling is what is called the excitement of despair.Although we are already doomed, the future is full of possibilities.This feeling began to reach its peak during the period of Van Novin's public appearance.The earth is about to perish, and Mars is also buried with it.Things have come to this point, what else is impossible?Even, what else is unlikely?Now that the world is about to be destroyed, is there any place for politeness, patience, virtue, all these secular norms?Since the ship is doomed to sink, who would be afraid of capsizing the ship? Edwards accuses us of being a generation paralyzed by the whirlwind of time.Maybe he's right.We have lived under the shadow of death for more than thirty years.No one can escape the feeling of being victimized at any moment, and deep down in everyone's mind, there is a knife dangling above their heads.All the pleasures of life were overshadowed.The best and bravest of men can also appear hesitant and cowering. Even the paralysis gradually wears off.Beneath the surface anxiety lurks a desperate recklessness.Quiet and thoughtful. However, actions are not necessarily wise and correct.Along the road, I saw three warning signs warning motorists of the possibility of road robbery nearby.The traffic announcer on the radio read a list of roads closed by the police.Her tone was casual, as if she was broadcasting a road repair section. Fortunately, I didn't encounter any trouble along the way, and I arrived at the Jordan Chapel smoothly, and parked the car in the parking lot behind. The current pastor of the Jordan Chapel is a young man with a crew-shaven head.His name is Bob.Kerber.When I called him earlier, he agreed to meet me.While I was locking the car, he came over to my car, took me to his apartment, and offered me coffee and donuts.I made it clear to him directly.He looked like a high school jock, getting a little fatter but still exuding the air of a former player. He said: I have considered what you just said, and I know why you want to be with Diane.Lawton meet.However, your request will embarrass our church, do you know why? I am not very sure.Honestly, I don't know. Thank you for your confession.Then I'll tell you.I only started as pastor of this parish after the Red Heifer crisis.However, I have been a member of this church for a long time.I know the two you're looking for, Diane and Simon.They used to be my friends. Isn't it now? I hope we're still friends, but if they think so I don't know.You know, Dr. Dupre, that the Jordan Chapel, though a small church, has had its fair share of controversy in the past.From the start, our church was a mixed bag of mostly old-fashioned Zeitgeist sectarians with some disillusioned New Nation hippies.The only thing we have in common is our belief that the end of the world is imminent, and our sincere desire for a Christian fellowship.As you can imagine, it was not easy for this group to get along well.We had disputes with each other and then broke up.Some people began to dig into the corners of Christianity's teachings.Frankly, it seems almost unthinkable to many churchgoers to question their teachings.As for Simon and Diane, they joined a group of die-hard post-catastropheists.These people want to take control of the Jordanian cathedral.Their actions lead to a bitter struggle, what the worldly mind might call a power struggle. As a result, did they lose? Oh, you are wrong.They completely controlled the church.At least for a while.They took the church in a radical line that made most of the church members feel uncomfortable.Among them was a man named Dan.Condon, he's the one who got us involved on the TV news.They tried to bring about the Second Coming with a red calf, but they failed.To this day, I still have lingering fears, thinking that they were really bold, wild and weird, as if they had to wait for them to complete this calf breeding plan before Jehovah, the Commander of the hosts of the kingdom of heaven, could call believers. Reverend Corbel took a sip of his coffee. I said: I am not qualified to discuss their beliefs. You told me on the phone that Diane's family couldn't reach her. Yes. Maybe she meant it.I've seen her dad on TV and he looks scary. I didn't come to kidnap her.I just want to know if she is safe. He took another sip of his coffee and gave me a thoughtful look. Wish I could tell you she's fine.She should be fine.But when the scandal broke, the whole group moved to the country.Several of them must now await subpoenas for questioning by the FBI.So, they don't want visitors. But it's still possible to get in? There's still a chance they'll let you in if they know you.But, Dr. Dupre, I don't know if they know you.I can show you how, but I don't think they'll let you in. Even with your guarantee? Reverend Colbert blinked, as if thinking about it. Then he smiled, and took out a small slip of paper from the desk behind him, on which he wrote the address and a few lines of directions.You have a good idea, Dr. Dupre.Just tell them it was Pastor Barber who sent you.However, you still have to be careful. ☆ I follow Bob.Pastor Kerber told me the route, and I drove for several hours from the city to a small valley.Dan.Condon's ranch was a clean two-story farmhouse that didn't look like a ranch as far as I could see.There was a large barn there, which looked rather shabby compared to the farmhouse.The pasture is overgrown with weeds, and a few cows stand there grazing. The car had just stopped when a tall man in work pants hopped down the porch steps.He weighed about 110 kilograms, had a beard, and looked unhappy.I roll down the window. He said: Boss, this is a private property. I'm here for Simon and Diane. He looked at me and said nothing. They didn't know I was coming, but they knew me. Did they invite you here?Our place is not that famous, few tourists will come here. Barbour.Reverend Cobel said, you should not mind my visit. He really said so, hmm. He told me to tell you that I will never harm you. Well, Reverend Barbour.Do you have any documents? I took out my ID card.He clutched his ID card and walked into the house. I sat there and waited.I rolled down the windows to let the dry wind into the car.The sun was already low, slanting on the pillars of the porch, casting long shadows on the ground.By the time that person came out, the shadow on the ground was already longer.He returned the paper to me and said: Simon and Diane can see you.Please forgive me if I was not very polite just now.My name is Sorey.I got out of the car and shook his hand. His hands are strong.Allen.Thorey.Everyone calls me Brother Allen. He led me through the creaking screen door and into the house.It was stuffy in the room, but the atmosphere was lively.There was a little boy in a cotton T-shirt running past us, laughing as he ran, he was about as high as our knees.When we passed the kitchen, there were two women cooking together, and it looked like a lot of people were going to eat.There was a large pot on the stove and a large pile of kale on the cutting board. Simon and Diane lived upstairs in the back rooms.Go up this staircase and go to the last door on the right inside which you can now go up. He didn't seem to need to tell me how to go, though.Simon was already waiting for me at the foot of the stairs. The heir to the pipe-cleaner baron looks a bit haggard now.In fact, there is nothing surprising about it, after all, I haven't seen him for twenty years.Last saw him the night China nuked the time gyro over the North and South Poles.Maybe he feels the same way about me now.His smile was still bright, cheerful and kind.If he loved Mammon, the god of wealth, more than God, he would have been poached by Hollywood to become a star long ago.He didn't even bother to shake hands, he just grabbed my shoulders. He said: Welcome!Taylor!Taylor.Dupre!If Brother Allen was a little rude to you just now, I apologize on his behalf.We seldom have guests here, but as soon as you enter the door, you will slowly find that we are very hospitable to our guests.If we had even the slightest chance of knowing you were coming to Arizona, we would have invited you over.That way you can avoid the unhappiness just now. I said: It is better to hit the sun than to choose the day, and I am also very happy to have this opportunity by chance.i came to arizona because oh i know.We also listen to the news occasionally.You came with the wrinkled man and you were his doctor. He led me down the corridor to a door painted creamy white.That was the door to Simon and Diane's room.He opened the door. The furnishings in the room feel quite comfortable, but a bit old-fashioned.There was a large bed in the corner, a wave-patterned mattress covered with a quilted quilt, and yellow gingham curtains at the windows.A cotton rug covers the long wooden floor.There was a chair by the window, and Diane was sitting on it. ☆ She said: Nice to see you.Thank you for taking the time to visit us, and I hope it didn't delay your work. I also wish I could delay work.How are you doing recently? Simon came and stood beside her, putting his hand on her shoulder.His hands remained on her shoulders. She said: "We are all fine.Not much money, maybe, but passable.In times like these, anyone who can live like this is not bad.Taylor, I'm sorry none of us have been in touch with you.Ever since what happened at the Jordan Chapel, we have become increasingly distrustful of the world outside the church.You should have heard of it too, right? Simon interrupted.What a mess.The Ministry of Homeland Security took the computers and photocopiers from the vicarage.It was never returned to us after it was taken away.Of course, the matter of the red heifer has nothing to do with us.We just distributed some brochures to the church members.You also know that it should be up to them to decide whether they are willing to participate in such a thing.In order to distribute leaflets, the federal government approached us for questioning.Can you imagine it?Obviously Preston.Ramesh's US government thinks we have committed a crime. Let's hope no one gets arrested. Simon said: "Everyone around us is fine. Diane said: "But everyone was very nervous.Even some small things that are taken for granted in life have to be considered whether they can be done, such as making phone calls and writing letters. I said: I think you should be very careful. Diane said: Yes. Simon said: Be really careful. In a loose cotton plain dress with a belt tied around her waist and a red and white plaid turban on her head, Diane looked like a rural Muslim woman in the American South.She doesn't wear makeup.In fact, she doesn't need makeup at all.Trying to cover up Diane's radiance with tattered and shabby clothes is almost like trying to cover up a searchlight with a straw hat. Just by looking at Diane, I knew how much I longed for her.An inexplicable longing.I feel a little embarrassed to be full of gorgeous fantasies in front of her.For twenty years, there has been an inseparable relationship between us.We used to be so familiar with each other, but now we are so far away.However, why is my heart beating wildly at this moment?She just sat on that wooden chair, glanced at me, and then looked away.The moment our eyes met, a faint blush appeared on her face.Why does that first glimpse make me feel like I'm flying into the sky? 但這一切是那麼虛無縹緲，那麼不公平對某個人不公平。也許是對我，也許是對她。也許我根本就不應該來的。 她說：那你過得好不好？我猜，你應該還是跟傑森一起工作。但願他一切平安。 he's good.他要我轉告妳，他愛妳。 She laughed.我不太相信。這不像他的作風。 他變了很多。 Yeah? 賽門說：傑森的傳言很多。他還是抓著黛安的肩膀。他的手在雪白棉布的襯托之下，顯得冷酷、僵硬而又黝黑。大家都在議論傑森和那個全身皺紋的人，所謂的火星人。 我說：不是所謂的。他真的是土生土長的火星人。 賽門眨了眨眼。聽你這麼說，那一定是真的了。不過，就像我剛剛說的，很多人在議論。大家都知道，反基督已經降臨人間。這一點是毋庸置疑的。反基督是一個知名人物，他正在向世人宣告他的時代已經來臨，正在策劃他那一場毫無希望的末日大戰。所以，世人的眼睛都在監視那些公眾人物。我並不是說萬諾文是反基督，不過，如果我宣稱萬諾文是反基督，認同的人一定很多。泰勒，你和他走得很近嗎？ 我偶爾會和他講講話。我不覺得他有那麼大的野心想當反基督。我心裡想，艾德華也許不會同意我的說法。 賽門說：就是因為有這樣的事情，所以我們必須更小心。這也就是為什麼黛安沒辦法跟家人聯絡。 就因為萬諾文可能會是反基督？ 因為世界末日已經在眼前了，我們不想被那些有權力的人發現。 I do not know what to say. 黛安說：泰勒已經開了一整天的車了，他大概口渴了。 賽門又恢復了笑容。等一下就要吃晚飯了，你想先喝點什麼嗎？我們這裡有很多汽水。要不要來一瓶山露汽水？ 我說：好啊。 他走出房間。黛安一直沒說話，一直等到我們聽到他走下樓梯，她才猛抬頭正眼看著我。你跑了很遠的路。 怎麼樣都聯絡不到妳，只好自己跑一趟。 但你實在沒有必要惹上這種麻煩。我身體很好，過得也很快樂。你可以告訴小傑和卡蘿我很好。至於艾德華，如果他在乎的話，你也可以跟他講一聲。我不需要別人跑來突擊檢查。 No such thing. 那你只是路過進來打聲招呼嗎？ 老實說，可以算是，差不多吧。 我們不是什麼宗教狂熱份子，我也沒有被軟禁。 黛安，我可沒這麼說。 但你心裡是這樣想的，不是嗎？ 看到妳平安我很高興。 她轉過頭去，夕陽的紅暈照著她的眼睛。對不起，我只是嚇了一跳，沒想到會在這種情況下見到你。我很高興你在東部那邊過得很好。你過得還不錯，對不對？ 我忽然感到一陣衝動，不想再有什麼顧忌了。I said: not good.我內心是麻痹的。至少妳爸爸是這麼認為的。他說我們這一代的人全都因為時間迴旋變成心理麻痹。在我們心裡，星星消失那一刻始終陰魂不散。我們走不出那片陰影。 Do you really believe it? 也許他說的是真的，只是我們心裡不肯承認。我本來沒打算要說這些。然而，賽門隨時會進來，他手上會拿著一瓶山露汽水，嘴上會掛著那永遠不會疲倦的微笑。機會稍縱即逝。也許，以後再也沒有機會了。我說：看到妳，忽然覺得看到的還是從前那個小女孩，在大房子外面的草坪上。所以，也許吧，也許艾德華說得對。二十五年就這樣被偷走了，時間過得真快。 黛安聽了我的話，不發一語。溫熱的風吹進來，方格圖案的窗簾隨風飄動，房間裡的光線愈來愈黯淡。然後她說：把門關起來。 那樣看起來不會很奇怪嗎？ 泰勒，把門關起來，我不想讓別人聽到。 我輕輕把門關上。她站起來，走到我面前，握住我的手。她的手涼涼的。末日快來臨了，時間也不多了，我們不應該再自欺欺人。對不起，我一直沒有打電話給你，可是，有四個家庭住在這棟房子裡，電話只有一線，所以，誰在用電話，打給誰，全屋子裡的人都知道。 賽門不會讓妳打電話的。 exactly the opposite.賽門可以接受。無論我有什麼癖好，什麼壞習慣，他都能夠包容。只是，我不想欺騙他，我不想給自己那麼大的負擔。可是，泰勒，我必須承認，我很懷念打電話的那些時刻。那彷彿就像生命線一樣。當我山窮水盡的時候，當教會分裂的時候，當我沒由來地感到寂寞的時候聽到你的聲音，就像源源不斷的血液流進我的體內。 那妳為什麼忽然不打了？ 因為那是不忠。從前是，現在也是。她搖著頭，彷彿內心有一個念頭在掙扎。那對她很重要，偏偏又太辛苦。我明白你對時間迴旋的感受。我也曾經想過。有時候，我會想像有另外一個世界。在那個世界裡，沒有時間迴旋，而我們過著截然不同的生活，我們的生活，你和我。她顫抖著吸了一口氣，滿臉紅暈。如果我沒辦法活在那個世界裡，我想，至少每隔幾個禮拜還可以偷偷去一下，打個電話給你，就像兩個老朋友那樣，把世界末日拋到腦後，天南地北地聊。 妳覺得這樣就是不忠？ 那就是不忠。我已經把自己奉獻給賽門了。在上帝和法律的見證下，賽門是我的丈夫。或許那不是明智的選擇，但那畢竟是我的選擇。也許我不是很虔誠的基督徒，但我很清楚自己有什麼責任，我知道自己必須堅持下去，我知道自己必須挺身和某個人站在一起，就算 就算怎麼樣，黛安？ 就算那會很痛苦。日子已經很難過了，我不覺得我們兩個人有必要讓自己的日子更難過。 我到這裡來不是為了要讓妳不開心。 我知道你不是，但你卻造成了那種結果。 那麼，我該走了。 你要留下來吃完飯再走。It's polite.她兩手垂立在身旁，低頭看著地上。趁現在這裡只有我們兩個人，有些話我要告訴你。我的信仰沒有賽門那麼堅定。我不敢說我相信世界末日來臨的時候，有信仰的人就能夠上天堂。願主寬恕我，但我就是沒辦法完全相信這一切。不過，我倒是相信世界末日一定會來臨，那一天已經快到了。我們會失去生命，而且 我說：黛安 Hear me out.讓我說完心裡的話。我相信世界末日一定會來臨，我也相信很多年以前傑森對我說過的話。他說，有一天早上，地平線會升起一個巨大腫脹的太陽，有如地獄之火。在幾個鐘頭或幾天之內，屬於地球的日子就結束了。我希望，到了那天早上，我不是孤孤單單的一個人 每個人都希望。我心裡想，也許茉莉．西格蘭是例外。到了那一天，茉莉會像那部老電影海灘上一樣，手上拿著一瓶毒藥。有很多像茉莉那樣的人都會是那樣的結局。 而我不會是孤單單的一個人。我會和賽門在一起。然而，泰勒，有一句心裡的話我要告訴你願上天寬恕我當我腦海中浮現出那一天的畫面時，我發現自己身邊那個人似乎不是賽門。 門突然碰地一聲打開了，是賽門。他手上空空的。他說：剛剛到樓下去才發現，原來晚餐已經準備好了。我們還幫你這位口渴的訪客準備了一大壺冰茶。下來吧，和我們一起吃飯。東西多得很，盡量吃。 我說：謝謝你，好像很不錯。 ☆ 總共有八個大人住在農場裡，包括索雷夫婦、丹．康登夫婦、慕艾薩克夫婦，還有賽門和黛安。索雷家有三個小孩，慕艾薩克家有五個，所以加起來總共有十七個人。廚房隔壁的房間裡有一張很大的擱板桌，我們一大群人圍著那張桌子。整個房間鬧哄哄的，氣氛很愉快，一直鬧到丹叔叔宣佈要禱告了才靜下來。大家立刻交握著手掌，低下頭。 Dan.康登是這群人的領袖。他長得很高大，臉色陰沉，黑色的絡腮鬍，長相醜陋，有點林肯總統的味道。他在禱告中強調說，讓陌生人分享食物是一種美德，即使這位陌生人不是我們邀請來的。Amen. 從他們後來的交談中，我發現艾倫．索雷弟兄是他們這群人當中的第二號人物，很可能也是起爭執的時候最強勢的人。Teddy.慕艾薩克和賽門似乎都聽他的，不過，做最後裁決的人還是康登。有人問，湯會不會太鹹？康登說：剛剛好。有人問，最近天氣熱不熱？康登說：就我們這個地方來說不算反常。 那幾個女人很少說話。吃飯的時候，她們的眼睛幾乎都盯著盤子。康登的太太矮矮胖胖的．臉上的表情是一副受過不少折磨的樣子。索雷的太太幾乎和她先生一樣高大，每當有人稱讚她菜做得很好，她就笑得特別開心。臉色陰沉的慕艾薩克已經四十多歲了，但他太太看起來好像還不到十八歲。這幾個女人都不直接跟我講話，也沒有人跟我介紹她們的名字。跟這些礦石般的女人比起來，黛安就像一顆閃閃發亮的鑽石。那種對比是非常明顯的，或許這就是為什麼她的舉動總是小心翼翼。 這幾家人都是從約旦大禮拜堂流亡出來的。丹叔叔解釋說，他們都不是原來的教友。他們不像那些狂熱的時代主義教派分子。那些人去年都逃亡到加拿大的薩斯喀徹溫省去了。不過，他們也不像巴伯．柯貝爾牧師那些人一樣，信仰不夠虔誠。柯貝爾他們那一群人都太容易妥協了。這幾家人搬到康登的牧場來，是希望能夠和城市隔開個幾公里，遠離城市的誘惑，在修行的平靜中等待最後時刻的來臨。他說，到目前為止，整個計畫還滿成功的。 後來，他們開始討論一些瑣碎的事情，例如卡車的電池壞掉了，屋頂到現在還沒修好，化糞池好像快要滿了。當大家都吃飽準備下桌的時候，我鬆了一口氣，那些小孩子顯然也是。索雷家有個小女孩嘆氣嘆得太大聲，被康登狠狠瞪了一眼。 那些女人開始清理餐盤。在康登的牧場裡，這是女人的工作。當餐桌都收拾乾淨了，賽門對大家說，我該走了。 康登說：杜普雷大夫，你在路上不會有事吧？現在每天晚上公路上都有人在搶劫。 我會把窗戶關得緊緊的，踩著油門不放。 那可能是個好辦法。 賽門說：泰勒，如果你不嫌麻煩的話，能不能送我到柵欄那邊去。今天天氣很暖和，我想散個步，然後慢慢走回來。回來的時候我可以用手電筒。 I say yes. 然後，大家排成一排很誠懇地跟我說再見。小孩子們有點扭捏不安，跟我握過手之後，他們就一溜煙跑掉了。輪到黛安的時候，她對我點點頭，眼睛卻看著地上。I hold out my hand.她跟我握握手，眼睛卻不看我。 ☆ 我開車載著賽門離開牧場爬上山坡，大概開了半公里。他有點坐立不安，好像有話要說，可是卻不發一語。我不想催他。夜晚的風有一股清香，而且很涼爽。我們開到小山坡的坡頂，看到一排破破爛爛的柵欄，還有一排仙人掌。他叫我停車，我就停下來了。他說：謝謝你載我一程。 他打開車門走出去，卻站在那邊猶豫了一下。 我問他：有話想跟我說嗎？ He cleared his throat.do you know?他講得很小聲，幾乎快要被風聲蓋過去了。我愛黛安，就像我愛上帝一樣。我知道這樣說聽起來有點褻瀆。長久以來我一直都有這種感覺。不過，我相信上帝讓黛安降生在這個世上，是為了讓她做我的妻子。這就是她人生全部的意義。所以，最近我在想，這就像是銅板的兩面。愛她，就是我愛上帝的方式。Taylor.杜普雷，你覺得有可能嗎？ 他沒有等我回答就關上車門，打開手電筒。我從後照鏡看著他緩緩地走下山坡，消失在黑暗中，隱沒在陣陣的蟋蟀叫聲中。 ☆ 那天晚上，我沒有碰上歹徒，也沒有遇到公路劫匪。 自從時間迴旋剛出現那幾年開始，天上不再有星星，也沒有月亮，因此夜晚變得更黑暗，也更危險。歹徒在偏僻的地方埋伏下手的技巧愈來愈高超。我在夜間開車，遭到搶劫或謀殺的機率也就高得嚇人。 開回鳳凰城的路上沒什麼車，大部分都是往來州際防護嚴密的十八輪大卡車。大部分時間，路上只有我一輛車。車燈彷彿在眼前的夜色中鑿開一片光明的區塊。我只聽得到輪胎摩擦地面的聲音，還有呼嘯而過的風聲。這大概是天底下最寂寞的聲音了。我想，這大概就是為什麼車上都會有收音機。 還好，那天晚上，路上沒有搶匪也沒有殺人犯。 那天晚上沒有。 ☆ 我在弗雷格斯塔夫城外的一間汽車旅館過夜，第二天早上再趕到機場和萬諾文會合。他和一群安全人員在機場的官員候機室裡。 飛往奧蘭多的路上，萬諾文講話的興致似乎很高。在飛機上，他一直在研究南部沙漠的地質學。他被一顆石頭迷住了。先前回程前往鳳凰城的路上，他在一間賣紀念品的小屋裡買了那顆石頭。當他在一整箱的化石裡挑三揀四的時候，整個車隊只好停在路邊等他。他得意洋洋地在我面前炫耀那顆石頭。那是一塊從光明天使景點所採集的頁岩，四四方方，長寬高各約兩公分半，其中一面有一個螺旋形的白堊凹洞。他說，這塊從大峽谷挖出來的石頭是一千萬年前三葉蟲的遺跡。大峽谷那一大片巨石嶙峋沙土遍地的荒野，遠古時代曾經是浩瀚的海洋。 他這輩子從來沒有見過化石。他說，火星上沒有化石。除了地球，除了古老的地球，整個太陽系裡找不到半顆化石。 ☆ 到了奧蘭多，有人帶我們坐上另一輛車的後座。這又是另一個護航車隊，準備開往基金會園區。 安全人員為了清查周邊地區，耽擱了大約一個鐘頭。車隊在黃昏的時候正式啟程。上了高速公路，萬諾文打了個大哈欠，連忙跟我說不好意思。我不太習慣一口氣做這麼長時間的運動。 我在基金會看過你用跑步機，你的體力好像還不錯。 跑步機怎麼能跟大峽谷比。 沒錯，好像不成比例。 我全身酸痛，不過卻一點也不後悔。這真是一趟精采的探險之旅。希望你自己也玩得開心。 我說，我找到黛安了，她身體還好。 That's great.很可惜我沒有親眼見到她。就算她和她哥哥只有一點點像，一定也是一個很了不起的人。 她確實是。 只不過，你跑這一趟，結果和你原先期望的好像不太一樣，對不對？ 也許我本來就不應該抱那種期望。也許長久以來我根本就不應該抱著那種期望。 萬諾文又打了個哈欠，眼睛已經快睜不開了。他說：噢，這個問題嘛永遠都是這麼一回事。你應該問，要怎麼看太陽，才不會被太陽曬瞎眼睛。 我很想問他，這句話有什麼道理，可是，他的頭已經鬆軟無力地靠在椅背的軟墊上，睡著了。我不忍心吵他睡覺。 ☆ 車隊總共有五輛車，再加上一部裝甲人員運兵車。車上有一個步兵小隊，以防有什麼突發狀況。 裝甲運兵車外形四四方方，看起來很容易會誤以為是當地銀行用來運鈔票的裝甲車。 事實上，有一列布爾克保全公司的車隊正好開在我們前面，距離我們十分鐘車程。後來，那個車隊下了高速公路朝棕櫚灣的方向開過去。搶匪集團在高速公路上幾個主要的出口都部署了觀測員，用電話傳遞情報。觀測員把我們和布爾克保全公司的車隊搞混了，鎖定我們為目標。一大群攻擊部隊在前面埋伏，等我們上門。 攻擊部隊是一群身經百戰的罪犯，他們在伏擊路段的前後方沒置了路面地雷。那個路段正好經過一片沼澤保留區。他們配備了自動步槍，還有火箭推進榴彈發射器，布爾克的車隊根本不是他們的對手。從第一枚地雷爆炸算起，大概只要五分鐘，他們就會消失在沼澤遍佈的荒郊野外，開始分贓。可是，他們的觀測員犯了一個致命的錯誤。攻擊銀行的運鈔車是一回事，但攻擊我們的車隊又是另外一回事了。我們這五輛車都有加強安全防護的改裝，而且，那輛裝甲運兵車上載滿了訓練有素的士兵和安全人員。 隔著深暗的車窗玻璃，我看著低淺的沼澤水面一片碧綠，光禿禿的柏樹從車窗外快速掠過。突然間，公路上的燈光全暗了。 劫匪已經切斷了地下電纜。突然間，幽暗變成了一片漆黑，伸手不見五指，彷彿車窗外就是一片黑漆漆的牆壁，什麼都看不到，只看得到自己滿臉驚恐的倒影。 我說：萬 他還在睡，滿是皺紋的臉孔像指紋一樣文風不動。 接著，前導車壓到地雷了。 爆震像鐵拳一樣撞擊我們堅固的車身，訓練有素的車隊立刻散開。但我們距離實在太近了，我甚至看得到那輛前導車被一股巨大的黃色火焰轟上天空，然後又摔回柏油路面，起火燃燒，車輪被炸得開花。 我們的司機緊急轉向。按照他們所受過的訓練，他本來應該立刻加速離開現場，然而，車子卻減速了。前面的路被擋住了。接著，我們聽到車隊後面傳來另外一聲爆炸。另外一枚地雷把路面炸掉了一大塊，掉到沼澤裡。搶匪的行動冷酷迅速，效率驚人。We are stuck. 這下子，萬諾文醒過來了，臉上的表情又困惑又害怕。他眼睛睜得大大的，像月亮一樣又圓又大，而且閃爍著光芒。 距離不遠的地方，手槍射擊的聲音此起彼落。我彎腰壓低身體，伸手把萬諾文也拉下來。我們上半身貼著大腿，頭貼在膝蓋上，身上還綁著安全帶。我們驚慌失措地摸索安全帶的扣環。司機停住了車子，從儀表板下面抽出了一把槍，整個人滾到車子外面。 那一剎那，十幾個士兵從我們後面的裝甲車裡衝出來，朝著黑暗中一陣瘋狂掃射，想打開一片安全區域。另外幾部車裡的便衣安全人員向我們車子這邊聚集過來，準備保護萬諾文。但他們還來不及靠近就已經中彈倒地。 我們的快速反應一定嚇到了那些公路劫匪。他們的重型武器開火了。有人發射了一枚火箭推進榴彈。我事後才知道那叫做火箭推進榴彈。當時，我只聽到轟的一聲，耳朵就聽不見了。車子一陣翻轉，濃煙四起，到處都是碎玻璃屑。 ☆ 然後，不知道為什麼，我發現自己上半身已經伸出後車門外面，臉部貼著滿是砂礫的路面，嘴巴裡有血的味道。萬諾文躺在我旁邊一兩公尺的地方，有一隻鞋子著火了。那是他特別為大峽谷之行買的兒童尺寸休閒鞋。 I call him.他動了一下，好像全身虛弱無力。子彈劈哩啪啦打在車子的殘骸上，在車身的鋼板上打出一個個的彈坑。我的左腿麻痹了。我拖著身體靠近萬諾文，用一塊椅墊的破片悶熄著火的鞋子。萬諾文呻吟了一聲，抬起頭。 我們的人開火還擊。曳光彈拖著一條條一閃而逝的光影飛向道路兩邊的沼澤。 萬諾文弓著背，慢慢跪起來。他好像有點意識不清。他鼻子在流血，額頭上有傷口，皮開肉綻。 我聲嘶力竭地大喊：不要站起來！ 可是他還是很努力地想站起來。燒焦的鞋子快要鬆脫了，散發出一陣焦臭味。 Oh My God!我大叫，伸出手去拉他，但被他甩開了。my God!別站起來！ 最後，他終於想辦法站起來了。他用手撐住身體，搖搖晃晃地站起來。汽車殘骸燃燒的火光映照著他的身影。他低頭看看我，好像認出我是誰了。 他說：泰勒，怎麼回事？ 接著，他中彈了。 ☆ 很多人憎恨萬諾文。他們不信任他，懷疑他的動機，例如艾德華．Lawton.也有一些人唾棄他，認定他是上帝的敵人。為什麼唾棄他呢？原因很複雜，而且沒什麼道理。因為他的皮膚碰巧是黑色的，因為他主張演化論，因為他握有時間迴旋的科學證據，冒犯了浩瀚宇宙永恆不朽這個真理。 有很多這樣的人私下密謀想殺害他。國安部攔截到很多這類恐嚇威脅的情報，列入檔案記錄。 然而，最後奪走他性命的反倒不是這些陰謀。奪走他性命的是人類的貪婪、錯誤的判斷，還有時間迴旋所引發的不顧一切的莽撞。 他的死讓地球人蒙羞。 他們解剖萬諾文的屍體，採取了大量的樣本，然後將屍體火化，為他舉行正式的國葬。他的追悼會在華盛頓國家大教堂裡舉行，全球各國都派遣重要人士前來弔唁。羅麥思總統朗讀了一篇很長的紀念文。 有人說要把他的骨灰撒到太空去，可是一直沒有下文。傑森告訴我，骨灰甕保存在史密森機構航空太空博物館的地下室，等候最後的處置。 也許現在還在那裡。