Home Categories Novel Corner Hunger Interlude

Chapter 4 ★Xenia

Hunger Interlude 勒.克萊喬 10992Words 2023-02-05
Eddie no longer remembers where they first met.Perhaps in the bakery on Via Ojiha, or perhaps in front of the girls' high school in Via Maghunt.She saw this very gray street again, the gray of Paris on a rainy day, the gray that invades everything, penetrates into the depths of a person and makes one cry.Her father always laughed at the Parisian sky, at the dim Parisian sun, like an aspirin.Like a little piece of dough used to seal a letter.The sun in Mauritius should look different. In this gray she was a little golden dot, a ray of light.For her age, she is not tall, twelve years old, maybe over.Eddie never knew Shania's real age.She was born to her mother while fleeing Russia after the revolution.That same year, her father died in prison, probably shot by revolutionaries.Her mother fled from St. Petersburg to Sweden, then from country to country until Paris.Senia grew up in a small town near Frankfurt, Germany.These are fragments of the stories that Adele knows, and, in order not to forget, she also took a small notebook, opened the first page, and wrote in a serious manner: Shania's previous stories.

She spoke to her.Or had Shania spoken to her first?Among a group of people, in this grayness, Adie looked at her, as if she saw a sun that was more real than the small dough of sealed letters.She still remembers her heartbeat because of her beauty.Her angelic face, the skin is very bright, but a little dull, soaked in the late summer tanned complexion; her blond hair coiled on the top of her head, like straw basket handles, mixed with Red woolen wool; her dress was a light-colored frilled dress, simple in style, but there was still a piece of red thread embroidery on the chest; her figure was so small that it seemed that one hand could wrap it around ( Mister Soliman's big hands may still have to be used).

These are Senia's eyes.She had never seen eyes like hers.It was a dull blue, with a touch of gray slate wash, the color of the ocean to the north, she thought but it wasn't that color that surprised her.Mr. Soliman's eyes were also blue, the color of forget-me-nots, and very bright.What she noticed almost immediately was that these eyes gave Shania's face a sad look or a distant gaze, from the depths of the years, full of suffering and hope, as if These eyes were pierced through a cloud of dust.Of course, she didn't think of all this at that moment.This is all understood bit by bit as the months and months pass by, and Eddie reconstructs Shania's story in this way.But on this day, on the gray, drizzling street, at the beginning of school, the young girl's eyes pierced into the depths of her soul with a chaotic and violent light, and she felt her heart beating even harder.

She was with the other girls, these people, she almost forgot their names, and they were there waiting to come into school for Miss Koehler's poetry class.This weird old lady, students always like to tell crazy and funny stories about her, about her falling out of love, taking a lot of money to play stocks, illegal transactions, and all kinds of stories about how she made money to survive.Eddie doesn't listen to this.She stared straight at the new girl and couldn't take her eyes off her. She said to the students next to her in an almost low voice: Have you seen this girl? Senia noticed her right away.On the school playground, she walked straight to Eddie, stretched out her hand and said: My name is Shania.Antonina.Chavelov.When she said her name Xie, there was a soft hiss in the back of her throat, and Ai Dier felt amazing when she heard it, and her last name sounded like the other girls didn't miss the opportunity to make fun of her last name. Vilov, are you looking for dangerous buildings?Senia wrote her name on the little black notepad with a miniature pencil, tore off the page, and handed it to Eddie, saying: Sorry, I don't have a business card.Foreign names, small black notepads, and business cards are too many for Adele. She held Shania's hand and said: I want to be your friend.Senia smiled, but her blue eyes were still veiled with mystery.Of course, I want to be your friend too.On the small black notepad, Adele wrote her name and address, as if signing a solemn agreement.For some reason, perhaps to impress Senia, to make sure she was worthy of her friendship, Atelia lied a little.We live here, but we will be moving soon.When my uncle's house is built, we will all move to live with him.However, at this moment, Adie already knew that the purple house would not be built in the short term.As Mr. Soliman's health deteriorated, his dreams grew further and further away.He hardly ever leaves his apartment, and has even given up his daily walks in the Luxembourg Gardens.When Ai Dier passed the Ahmoshik Street, and walked in front of the wooden gate of the garden, her heart ached.

Once, after school, she took Shania there.Senia went to and from school by herself, which made Adele adore her even more.On this day, Ai Dier told her mother in advance.You don't have to pick me up, I'll be back with my friend Shania, you know?She is Russian.Mother looked at her in bewilderment.Eddie hurried to conclusions: We'll be back for refreshments.I will make tea for her.Senia drank a lot of tea. When they reached the field on Ahmoshik Street, they stood on tiptoe and looked in through the door panel through the gap in the wood.so big!Senia exclaimed.She also said something that Adie had never thought about: Your uncle is a very rich man.

One autumn afternoon, Eddie took Shania to the garden.She took the key to the wooden door in Mr. Soliman's coat pocket. It was a large iron key, rusty, and looked like a key that could open a hidden door in a castle.She took the key without asking her uncle, feeling a little ashamed.Mr. Soliman was half asleep in his room, his tall body lying under a white sheet, his huge feet rising like a mountain at the foot of the bed.He didn't even notice that Atelier was there.From a certain moment on, nothing made any difference to him. In front of the wooden gate of the garden, Eddie showed Shania the key.Her nervousness is infectious.Senia laughed nervously, and she grabbed Adel's hand.Are you sure you can?

They pretended to be scared.The old ocher stone walls were hammered and barely fitted together, and moss and young vines were everywhere.Since Mr. Soliman fell ill, no one seemed to worry about trimming the vines blocking the gate. Even the door lock was jammed.It took several attempts for Atelier to turn the latch.There was a rusty creak as the key turned, and both girls cried out at the harsh sound. Wait a minute, I think there's an old lady watching us over there! Senia didn't move her face, she just gestured with her eyes, pointing to the other side of the street.Never mind, she's the concierge there.They rushed in, and Adie locked the door with a key, as if someone was following closely to come in.Come, let me show you our secret!Eddie held Senia's hand.Senia's hand was small and soft, a child's hand, and Adel felt the hand in hers, and there was a surge of excitement in her heart, like a promise of some kind of friendship, and nothing could break this friendship.Later, she recalled this first moment, her heartbeat.She thought: Finally, I have found a friend.

It was a long, very long afternoon in the gardens of Ahmoshik Street.After the first moments of examining the pile of planks infested with thorns, the two little girls sat down in the depths of the garden, under a trellis where Mr. Soliman had once placed a bench, Fortunately, he can dream comfortably on it.It was a damp autumn afternoon, but the dim sun illuminated the stone wall at the bottom of the field.A brown lizard emerged from the wall and watched the two girls with its small eyes that shone like metal buttons. Atelier had never talked to anyone like that before.She felt as if suddenly she became freer.She smiled and told some small stories in her life, and she remembered many small details accumulated since she was a child.She talked about some projects, some ideas, a prom dress, and she took out a design of a fashionable dress from the pocket of her cardigan, and she said: Look, a sequined belt to match a blue dress, A black satin skirt with a purple gown on top, a gold blouse, a lace gown, or look at this, a black satin and tulle blouse.Senia looked at the blueprint.what do you thinkBefore Shania could answer, Adie went on to say: The whole pair of high heels are inlaid with gold, no no, won't this be a little too eye-catching, a little dazzling?She stepped back, as if watching Shania wearing her sample.You know what, you are so beautiful, I wish this was for you, I design these dresses, you wear them.

She pictured Shania in electric blue, with long, cascading blond hair cascading over her bare shoulders, long black gloves reaching the elbows on her small, delicate hands, and her feet wearing Leather sandals, spartan leather thong sandals, and shiny leather shoes that look like they're for little girls.They both laughed, and they stood up and walked on the dead leaves as thick as a carpet, as if it were a long red carpet worn by a fashion show in a big hotel. They forgot everything, Senia forgot the poverty of life, forgot the poverty of her and her sister, forgot their dependent life.Eddie forgot the quarrels between her parents, the gossip about her father's flirty relationship with Miss Mould, and Mr. Soliman lying in bed dressed as if he was about to go on a long journey.Eddie had heard Ida, the maid, tell her mother that Mr. Soliman wanted her to help him get dressed and tie his shoes every morning because he knew he was going to die.

This has become their habit, and they come almost every day after class.In order to stay with Shania, Eddie told a fib.She said she was going to a friend's house to help her with her French homework.Senia had never invited her to the house.Seriously, Atel doesn't even know where she lives.Once or twice, when they walked to Ojiha Street together, Senia pointed vaguely in the direction of the downhill: that's it, that's where I live. Adie knew that she didn't want people to know about their family's plight, and she didn't want people to see their poor house.One day, she mentioned where she lived, with a sneer: You know, our apartment is like a warehouse, so small that we have to roll up the mattress every morning to walk.

Adie felt that it was shameful to be rich, and lived in a big apartment downstairs, with a room of her own, and a floor-to-ceiling window facing the garden full of flowers.She envied Shenia's way of life, envied her having an older sister to sleep with, envied their cramped quarters, envied the noise they heard, and even envied their worries about tomorrow.She envisioned an adventurous life vibe, cash-strapped and trying to make a living.These afternoons in the gardens of Ahmoshik Street were a time of good fortune.They chatted and sat on the bug-eaten bench, not feeling cold at all.When the sky was raining, they would open their little parasols and stick close together.Sometimes Senia would come directly from home, and she would pour tea into a bottle and bring it wrapped in a thick woolen cloth with two silver cups. .Ai Die'er tasted the hot tea, it was a little bitter and choking.They laughed and couldn't even stop laughing.As a courtesy, one day Eddie brought her teapot too, and put it in a Chinese-style picnic box that Aunt Wilhelmina brought back from Mauritius.Senia liked the red cushion, the Chinese teapot, and those cute cups without ears, but the vanilla tea was too sweet for her, and she made a funny face.Don't you like it?Ai Die'er asked, her heart clenched tightly.Senia smiled lightly.Nothing, just tea.If you don't mind, better let me bring my tea, as usual.Eddie forgot to be depressed.It was honey dripping on her heart as usual, and the words meant that they would continue, and a certain sense of gratitude rose from it, and tears welled up in her eyes, and she turned her head so that Shania couldn't see it. Fragmentally, Shania told the story of her life.Adie would not ask her.She knew that Shania would only say what she decided to reveal, and that she did it not as a confidant, but as a gift, to cement their friendship.It's a pact.She talked about the big house of the Tsavlov family, in St. Petersburg.She told of the banquets they had in their house, to which everyone in the neighbourhood, nobles or peasants, soldiers, artisans, and artists, could come.She talked as if she had a hand in all these things, but they all happened before she was born, before the Revolution, when her young father and mother were just married.At that time, they believed in ideals, and they were full of confidence in the new era.They thought they were going to live forever.Senia brought a photo, mottled and yellowed, as if time wanted to erase this era.In the photo, Adie saw a young man with long hair, a romantic mustache, very dark brown skin, wearing an elegant suit.Beside him was Shania's mother, a beautiful blond woman with a thick bun and a long pleated white dress with patterns embroidered on peasant women's clothes.Her name was Martina, Shania said, she was dressed as a Vilnius girl, and she was Lithuanian.Behind the two young newlyweds, you can see the scenery of the photo studio, a Greek temple, and a hanging garden.It all has an eternal summer feel to it. There was a touch of truth in Senia.Usually she has an indifferent expression on her face, with a fixed smile, but this way of monitoring herself and not relaxing at any moment, suddenly collapsed on Adie'er's shoulders, and her voice became hoarse and weak , could not suppress her accent.It was a pain to be alive. Her forehead was lined with a deep line between her brows, and her blue-gray eyes were blurred.Eddie suddenly said in a solemn tone: life is really hard sometimes. She squeezed Shania's hand and kissed her hand.She knew she couldn't say anything.Her own life, the chasm her parents continued to dig between each other every day, and the fight over money, the long, heart-wrenching threat of catastrophe, had nothing to do with what Shania was going through. Together, nothing at all, the tragic death of her father, her escape with her mother and sisters across Germany, and finally to France, to live in this dark and cold big city.If there hadn't been such a mysterious story that happened in Shania's childhood, in every moment of her life, would Eddie still love her so much?She found this flaw, a little sad, but irresistible.So, is love full of these illusions?How could this feeling be so impure?At times Atie felt like a toy, a toy of her own hallucinations, or a toy of this girl, who could alternate between sadness and sarcasm, cheekiness and innocence. Gradually, it became clear that Shania liked to dominate and control her relationship with Atelia, and she treated it as a game and enjoyed it.One afternoon, she revealed her true feelings, with tears in her eyes, when she mentioned that her mother worked in a tailor shop, and her older sister Marina was suffering from mania and always threatened to commit suicide. After class, Xenia seemed to regret her weakness, so He was very indifferent to Ai Dier, and he didn't want to go with her alone, so he hooked another girl's arm and walked out of the school gate together.Ai Die'er didn't say anything, but she was worried, asking herself what she said or did wrong to be treated like this. Ai Die'er went home and locked herself in the room, not going out to eat.What's up with her?asked the mother.Alexander looked knowing: what else, your daughter is in love, that's how it is.Atelier was dismayed to hear their thoughts intercepted through the door.She wanted to scream: You don't know anything, you don't understand anything!Later, and over the next few days, it dawned on her that she knew what was biting her heart.It's jealousy, simple as that.Senia put this poison on her.She resented herself, felt angry.Jealousy, that's what happened!An ordinary feeling.It was this feeling that gnawed at her mother, making her almost unable to breathe, just for Mou De, a female singer, this feeling belonged to a sentimental and indifferent girl, to a poor girl, to a victim!It made her unable to concentrate and disgusted her.Then one day, out of nowhere, Shania stood at the school gate again, waiting like a beautiful angel, her eyes the color of the sea, her hair the color of honey, with Black velvet headband tied into a neat bun, she was wearing a new dress with a sequined belt, and she kissed Atie: Did you see that?My mom made them just as you drew them!Adie felt stupid, drunk and stupid, and a rush of heat rushed into her body.She stepped back a little to admire Shania's dress: Really, you look good in it.That was the only sentence she could come up with. So, just like that, they became the best friends in the world.They never left each other again, they were always inseparable.In the morning, when she got up, Eddie got up early, and her heart beat happily at the thought that she would see Xenia all day long.She forgot everything.The aunts complained to her: You don't come to see us anymore, you are not angry with us, are you?On Saturday afternoons, she went, after church lessons and before piano lessons.She passed like a gust of wind into Mr. Soliman's old apartment, which is now the residence of Aunt Wilhelmina, and she kissed the old woman, ate a biscuit, drank a cup of herbal tea, and then left, she didn't even want to wait for the elevator, three steps And made two steps and ran down the stairs.She skipped her piano lessons and made an appointment with Xenia to meet on the Italian Avenue.They want to go shopping together and lick the windows, just looking but not buying.Shania is taller than people her age, and when men look at her twice, she will have a certain vanity, which Adele thinks is extremely ridiculous.Did you see that man?Did you see the way he stared at you?This disgusting old fellow!Suddenly, she became angry: Huh, that gentleman, I want to go over and talk to him!I've said so much, do you feel that he walked past you just now, and now he's following us like a puppy!It's so boring!Senia showed a satisfied smile, without comment.When she talks about these things, she always has a sense of superiority. She wants to make people feel that she has already understood men, she knows how much they weigh, and how frivolous they are.One day, she even said to Adele: Actually, you are really naive.Ai Die'er felt insulted and wanted to refute, but didn't know what to say.She was naive, it wasn't true, she thought to herself.She had to talk to Shania about the relationship between her parents, their quarrels, and Moud, the woman's place in their family, and they were going to ruin.But all of this is insignificant when put together with the tragic fate of the Chavelov family. She will never dare to compare herself with Xenia. Atelier takes her friendship too seriously.It's a miracle.All girls, girls in school, should be jealous.Her beauty, her mystery, the name Xenia, which she herself pronounced in a very tender way, and the surname Tsavilov, reminded one of the catastrophes that had befell the family in their history.For her, to make her happy, Adie changed her personality.She was originally pessimistic and closed, but the moment she met Shania, her whole person changed.She becomes funny, flirtatious, and carefree.She feigns innocence because her friends are convinced she has such qualities.She writes down ideas, little stories, things she hears at home or on the street in a notebook.She wanted to talk to Shania about these things and ask her opinion.Three quarters of the time, Senia wasn't listening.She looked at Adie, as if thinking of other things.Or to interrupt her and say: You make life too complicated.She added this with an uncomfortable sneer but she couldn't let Atel see it.She said: You know, Eddie, real life is complicated enough as it is now, we don't need to add more details.Adie lowered her head and accepted.You are right, you, you can see the truth of all things at once.That's why I'm your friend. It's been a while.In order to reassure herself and express her heart, Ai Die'er often says this word now.For so long she had kept the word out of her vocabulary, as if only Mr. Soliman was entitled to these feelings of friendship, love, affection.One day, she finally worked up the courage.They had walked the streets together all day, and they came to the Boulevard des Swans, with the Seine in front of them, and it was a spring evening where the air was soft.She secretly looked at Shania's side face, high forehead, small nose, delicate nostrils, golden hair on the back of the neck under the bun, full lips, very red lips, eyelashes covering the cheeks In the shadows, she felt a rush of love coming from deep within her, irresistible, sweet, like a gently rippling throbbing, she spoke quickly, without thinking: You know, Shania, I never had a friend like you.Senia didn't move for several seconds, maybe she didn't hear.Then she turned to look at Adie, and the blue-grey of her eyes was the color of the sea, the very far, northern sea.She said: Me neither, honey.In order to break the absurdly solemn confession atmosphere, she smirked.I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the place we’re staying right now happens to be the place where lovers make their big confessions!As soon as she finished speaking, she began to talk about the seamstress who had hired her mother. She was a tall, manly woman with a name ending in is Adeel. She thought she was Greek. In fact, this Kavi Reese is Lithuanian and everyone knows her hobbies.Anyway, you know what I'm going to say, right?Shania added, ah, no, you really don’t know about this kind of thing, what I want to say is, a woman who doesn’t like men very much, a woman who associates with women. She gesticulated, and Eddie noticed how well-cared for Shania's hands were, those of a doll, with slender fingers and pink nails buffed with suede.Why did she say all this about Caveris?One day, this woman walked into the dressing room, where Shania was taking off the dress she was trying on, she lightly brushed her shoulder, and whispered to her: If you want, we can become (at this time Xienia Yara raises her voice and imitates Russians to make tongue-tapping sounds) Such a good friend! Miss Caveris became their favorite subject of jokes.Under the delicate and elegant appearance of an aristocratic girl, Shania is actually well-informed. Her unscrupulous wit will definitely make Alexander and Justine disapprove, but Eddie finds it extremely funny.Mr. Bohena, the school supervisor, gave frequent glances, and Ms. Rongsong, the French teacher, flirted with each other. Nothing could escape her eyes.One day, she wore a long light violet silk shawl and was walking around the school playground. Shania elbowed Eddie: see, her shawl is longer than the coat , It's all covered up to the butt!She never laughed, she always squeaked the story softly, and couldn't stop laughing when it came to Atiele.Look carefully, when she walks, it looks like a tail is dragging behind her big ass! Several times, Eddie went to the tailor shop where Countess Chavelov worked to find Shania.The tailor shop is on the third floor of a building, on the other side of Paris, on Rue Geoffrey︱Machy, not far from Rue Lafayette, it's an adventure.When Eddie first went there, once all the Tsavlov family members were present, the mother lowered her head and put her thick thread on the sewing machine, and the daughters dressed up as princesses and turned around to look in the mirror.The tailor shop was dimly lit and extremely messy, with cardboard and zero-yard cloth piled on the floor.Lady Caveris worked at another table, and at first glance one might have thought she was an employee of the countess.Senia needed an audience, and as soon as Atele arrived, she mobilized.She taunted Caveris savagely, took her hand and danced around her, rustling a long white organdy dress worn by a bridesmaid.Marina spun too, and she backed away a little, as if dancing in front of a mirror, their laughter and cheers echoing through the apartment.Eddie watched in fascination at the scene, trivial yet dramatic, a whirlwind of mischief sweeping the girls into them, making them forget their sorrow and their heavy fate.Mrs. Chavilov was still sitting there.She stopped working on the sewing machine and watched the show, her gray face motionless and expressionless.Suddenly, Senia ran up to Eddie and pulled her into the dance. She arched her waist exaggeratedly, put Eddie's hand on her waist as if she were a knight, and stretched her arms around her. Butterfly put her hand on her shoulder.Adie could feel her stiff body, the straps of her corset, and the faint fragrance of her hair, mixed with the smell of sulfur and cologne, a little pungent and a little disgusting.At the end of the dance, she kissed Adie on the cheek, not a light kiss, but a passionate kiss, almost abrupt.The kiss was imprinted on the lower edge of the cheek, just beside the corner of the mouth, and Adie shivered slightly because of it.All this is a game, a provocation.Senia held Eddie's hand all the time, she bowed in front of Caveris, and said in her hoarse, not very elegant voice: I have something to announce to everyone!Since Marina and the countess didn't seem to hear, she repeated at the top of her voice: um, um!Ladies, I have something to announce to everyone that Atelier and I have decided to get engaged!This is so funny, Eddie standing there, a little prim, wearing a skirt and dark shirt, brown hair tied up in a bun, feet flat in neat heelless shoes, Cherie Ya looked amazing in white tulle, white ruffles, lovely feet in gold pumps, just like a bride.Later on the street, when they walked to Hivory Street and then to the Knights Bridge, Senia talked to Eddie carefully: I don't have a homosexual problem, all I want is for her not to be interested in me, Do you understand?Adie could not keep her eyes open.Of course, I understand.Suddenly, she discovered a hidden world, and she understood why she felt a certain slight discomfort whenever she was alone with Miss Deku in her sculpture studio, soaked in the smell of tobacco and sweat.This pudgy woman with small olive-like black eyes was always so kind, hooking her arms and holding her with a very masculine strength.She didn't know whether to say: this artist, my uncle rented her a studio next door, and she was smoking cigars and Xenia wasn't really listening.Smoking doesn't mean anything.Does she live with a woman?Atelier could only admit that she knew nothing about it.She has a lot of cats, and some of her sculptures are animals, and some are crazy.Senia made a final decision with one word.They never talked about it again. In order to please her, Adie bought a Russian learning book.In the evening, she studies on her own in bed.She read ia lioubliou [Note 1] over and over again, and there was also a text that had no logical connection between the lessons. She only remembered what she wanted to learn, and she practiced the verb conjugations of love.One day, at the tailor's shop in Geofhey-Marsh Street, she mustered up her courage and said to Mrs. Chavilov: Kak pajivaietie? 【Note 2】The countess was fascinated by this, but Xenia mocked her and said in a very sarcastic voice: Yes, Edel speaks very well, she can say Kak pajivaietie, and ia znaiou gavarit pa rousski【 Note 3], she can still say gdie toilet? 【Note 4】Adie'er felt her whole face was flushed, and she wasn't sure whether she was angry or ashamed.Senia was familiar with the techniques of provoking and soothing, which she had learned since childhood in order to survive.After a while, when they were walking aimlessly in the streets of Paris, in the Luxembourg Gardens, she gave Adele a special Russian lesson. In fact, the lesson was special because she taught everything It's about love, a string of impractical sentences.She made Adel recite: ia doumaiou chto ana ievo lioubit, I believe she loves him, ia znaiou chto on ieio lioubit, I know he loves her, and then, lioubov, vlioubliommyi, vlioublionna she said [Note 5], When the last syllable is long, there are also daragaia, maia daragaia padrouga【Note 6】.She half-closed her eyes and said: kharacho, mnie kharachooo[Note 7] She turned to Adie and said: ty, davolnaia?Are you satisfied? 【Annotation 1】Russian, I love it. 【Annotation 2】Russian, how are you doing? . 【Annotation 3】Russian, I can speak Russian. 【Annotation 4】Russian, where is the toilet? . [Annotation 5] In Russian, lioubov is the noun of love. Vlioubliommyi and vlioublionna are verbs of love. 【Annotation 6】Russian, dear, my dear friend (feminine). 【Annotation 7】Russian, good, I'm fine. In July, the Swan Boulevard is far away from everything, hanging alone in the middle of the Seine.Senia booked the date here.Unlike the other girls, she never said: See you tomorrow, then. She turned around and walked away in the old days, and she walked away quickly. in the crowd.Ai Die'er went out early, looking very busy.where are you goingJustine asked.She still said vaguely: Go shopping with friends.She doesn't tell big lies, she doesn't say she's going to piano lessons, she doesn't say it's choir practice. She descended the steps of the subway bridge and walked to the island.In the morning, there are few people on the long trail, and the shadow of the ash tree is very cold.Sometimes, she would see a figure in the distance, at the end of the trail.The scattered men seemed uneasy.She walked towards them with a firm step, as if she had no fear at all.That's what Shania taught her: if you go without hesitation like this, it's you who will scare them.Remember, don't slow down and don't look around.You stare at a point in your imagination and imagine that someone is waiting for you there.It should have been successful, because no one came to strike up a conversation with her. Senia was always waiting for her at the same place.She called the place the Elephant Tree, and it was a big ash tree that grew on the small slope of the river bank, and the main branches of the tree bent down to the level of the river, and looked like elephant's teeth, trunk.They stayed there, standing, not speaking, looking at the green water, at the brown hair bobbing in the water.Then they sat down on a bench, under the shadow of the plane trees, and watched the yachts glide by, some heading up the Seine, pushing out a muddy yellow wave, and some on the other side, along the embankment. berth.They talked about leaving the subject.Senia wants to go to Canada, with heavy snow and forests.She imagines a great love affair, with a boy who owns land, a horse farm.Her great love, in fact, was with horses like the ones they had ridden in Russia, on her father's estate.Atel spoke of Mauritius, of the manor at Alma, as if it still existed.She spoke of gathering jacobs in the forest, baobab seeds, and bathing in icy streams.She said it as if she had experienced it herself, but in fact, it was all fragments heard from Aunt Milu and Aunt Pauline, or it was the words left by Alexander's voice in Creole[Note] .Senia wasn't really listening.Sometimes she interrupts her words.She pointed to the boiling city on the other side of the river, the arched bridge over which the train passed, the silhouette of the Eiffel Tower, the buildings.對我來說,一切都發生在這裡。回憶,只會讓我心痛。我要改變人生,我不想要活得像乞丐。 【譯註】克里奧爾這個詞的指稱對象多重,在今日的安的列斯群島,克里奧爾指的是所有屬於加勒比海文化在地誕生的,有別於直接來自歐洲或本地原生的。在安的列斯誕生的人即為克里奧爾人,在安的列斯誕生的語言即為克里與爾語。 她還沒談到男朋友,沒談到結婚。但是在她的臉上,讀得出她的決心。事情很清楚,她已經建構了她的人生,她已經預先確定了一切。她不會讓任何人攪亂她的運氣。
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