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Chapter 11 * hunger,

Hunger Interlude 勒.克萊喬 19105Words 2023-02-05
It's a strange, persistent, unchanging, yet almost familiar feeling.Like a never-ending winter. Grey, dull.Nice, once upon a time, when the aunts of Mauritius talked about it, it was paradise, blue sea, palm trees, sunshine, carnival, parades, smooth nights under velvet skies, and brightly lit promenades, they Beloved this curve, Aunt Pauling used to say: my river of diamonds. When she arrived, Atel's heart was pounding, as if a new adventure was about to begin.The Mystral wind clears the horizon, the mountains are covered with snow, the beach is covered with white pebbles, women in bathing suits do aerobics, and children with blond hair are tanned and naked The body is playing with water.

【Annotation】Mistral wind: The descending wind (downhill wind) along the Mediterranean coast of France is one of the main characteristics of the climate in Provence, with a speed of up to 100 kilometers per hour in the plains. In addition to these, there are Italians!They were all young and cute, in their green military uniforms, with rooster feathers in their hats, and they didn't look serious.They watch the girls coming and going!They lick their tongues and say r in French, they have marching bands, they paint in watercolours! Adele spends all day basking in the sun in the small bay of Lazahei district.She needs sunlight to make herself dizzy.After a long swim, jellyfish patrolling the cold waters, she waited on the beach for the sun to dry every drop of salt water from her skin.There was no one there.Except occasionally seeing a few women with children, or a few old people.Most of the time, no one is there.An empty horizon, no boats, no birds.

Once, she was frightened.A man in his fifties came up to her, exposing his body.She stood up and left without looking.Another time, when she climbed ashore from the rocks, two young men tried to block her way.So she jumped into the water and swam out to sea as far as she could swim, and then to the vicinity of the farm, where she disembarked from the seawall, returning to the cove later to get her things.She didn't tell Justine about it.She thought she could take responsibility for herself.This is how she goes to war. Her tanned skin burns with heat, and her hair shines with a tan.She likes to put her fingers on the skin of her calf, feel the smoothness there, follow the thin scars, faint and wrinkled.

Money started running out.Justine sold everything that escaped the greedy eyes of the court bailiff, and the money she had saved was spent earlier this winter.The heater needs briquettes, and when the electricity is cut off, it needs wood chips and kerosene to light the lamp.Their apartment was on the top floor of an unnamed old building, facing the port, with a pleasant view, but the cold air would seep in through the zinc panels on the roof, and the dormer windows on the mansard roof would also continuously pour in cold air.With rent deferrals (after all, it's still war time, isn't it?), the landlord isn't doing any repairs anymore, and the rain is pouring in from the kitchen, toilet, and Justine puts her little fern bucket in the gutter to drip. She hung a few small vegetable gardens on the railing of the balcony and planted lettuce and carrots.Alexander mixed sun-dried carrot leaves into his tobacco rations, saying it would impart a hint of Virginia sweetness when smoked.

Gradually, everyday life took an important place.Everyone's eyes are always on the ground, looking for something, a coin, a pin, a cigarette butt.Everyone smelled a musty smell, a smell of smoke, in the street, in the atriums of those apartment buildings.Adie pushed the bicycle loaded with food, vegetables and firewood onto the road along the cliff.She smelled the cellar, along the walls, dark puffs coming from the transom.Trembling, she walked down the cellar, Rue Cotentin, as she did when she clutched the maid's hand and went down together to fetch bottles of wine or bring up a basket of potatoes.

She has to go farther and farther to buy, and the time to go out is earlier and earlier.Everything is expensive in the market, and everything can be sold.Adie bought some radish leaves, pumpkin leaves, and cabbage leaves.One of the perks of being a Mauritian woman (the family comes from Mauritius, to say the least) and from the land of bitter melons (bitter melon, amargo, hard to swallow) is knowing how to use a little leftover tomato With safflower and curry powder, you can cook this rabbit food. It was almost noon, and there was nothing left.Shadows roamed among the empty stalls, and old people and poor women picked up the rubbish with the end of their sticks and stuffed them into their jute sacks.Rotting vegetables, bruised fruit, root vegetables with moldy greens, leftover scraps, peeled off unwanted leaves.Quiet as dogs, hunched over in hoods and blankets, their black fingernails too long, their thin faces, hooked noses, pointed chins.The wheels of the bicycle moved forward in ruins, the pedals knocked on Adie'er's calf, she didn't need to press the rusty bell, the shadow would automatically move out of the way when she passed, stop, turn her head, and squint at her .One of them, a slender woman with difficulty moving, raised her head so suddenly that Atel jumped, thinking she recognized Moud, with the eyeliner on his eyes and the blush on his cheeks.Her heart was beating so hard that her body pushed the bicycle and fled towards the exit of the market.Later, as she pedaled away as hard as she could, through the maze of the Old Town, the old woman's face chased after her, the aquiline nose, the gray eyeballs framed by charcoal liner, the wrinkled, lipstick-spattered mouth , especially the expression on this face, a greedy and sad expression.At the same time, she murmured and repeated half to convince herself that no, it wasn't her, it wasn't Moud, it was just an old woman who was abandoned and slowly starved to death.

She didn't tell Justine about the chance encounter.This woman was the enemy of their family, scandals followed her, she was there when Alexander started to run down, how could she become this female beggar who picked up rotten leaves in order to survive? Adie thought about it seriously.In a way, this is axiomatic justice.All were punished, abandoned, betrayed, as if to pay back their past pride.The whims, the artists, the mercenary businessmen, the speculators, the predators.And those who arrogantly proclaim their psychological and intellectual superiority, royalists, Fourierists[1], racists, hegemonists, mystics, psychics, Swedenborgians[1] Two] disciple, Claude.De.Saint Martin's [Note 3] disciple, Martinez.De.Disciple of Pasquale[4], disciple of Gobino[5], disciple of Chivajo[6], supporter of Mojas, peddler of royalist newspapers, Mordriel Supporters of [Note 7], pacifists, Munichists [Note 8], those who advocate cooperation with Germany, people who hate and fear Britain, Celtic nationalists [Note 9], people who advocate oligarchy, elite rule Anarchists, imperialists, hats[Note 10] and members of the French Action Alliance.Over the years, they have been aloof, they have stood high and proud on their podiums, they have spoken out endlessly, made anti-Semitic, anti-black, and anti-Arab remarks without shame, and acted like envoys of justice and heroes.These people are like Alexander.The Bouhans were all trembling with their vested interests, waiting in fear for the great night, for the Bolshevik revolution, for the anarchist conspiracy to come.Those who had gathered at the Winter Velodrome to cheer the release of Mojas, those who advocated the League of Action against Daladier, who expressed displeasure when La Rocque refused to take a stand, who were at Pope Pius XI and the Applause when Hitler called for the extermination of the Communists.When Ruan Aiguo [Note 11] was tried for demanding the independence of the Indochina Peninsula, those who advocated the death penalty, when Mr. Ruan Taixue [Note 12] was publicly executed for declaring the independence of Annan [Note 13], Those who applaud and cheer, look at Paul.The people who wrote the book by Shaq, Maxsons, Sherin, who laughed when they saw Kappa's picture in the paper: Hurry up!France is no longer the fatherland of the man without a fatherland.On the hand of the Statue of Liberty in New York, a candlestick that can hold seven candles is dangling. The caption on the picture reads: Uncle Shan [Note 15]!

[Annotation 1] Fourier (1772︱1837), the French utopian socialist thinker, advocated the establishment of an ideal society based on cooperatives through a harmonious mechanism. [Annotation 2] Swedenborg (1688︱1772): Swedish scientist, philosopher, theologian, at the age of fifty-six, claimed that he had communicated with angels, God, Jesus, and traveled to heaven and hell. 【Annotation 3】Claude.De.Saint Martin (1743︱1803): French philosopher, who is said to have proposed the slogans of the French Revolution, liberty, equality, and fraternity. 【Annotation 4】Martinez.De.Pasquale (1727︱1774): illusionist, astrologer, theosophist, to Claude.De.St. Martin's influence is huge.

[Annotation 5] Gobineau (1816︱1882): French diplomat and writer, who left a notorious reputation for his collection of essays "On the Differences of Human Races", which can be called the origin of modern racist thought . [Annotation 6] Chivahou (1753︱1801): French writer, supporter of the monarchy in the era of the Great Revolution. [Annotation 7] Mordrill: During World War II, he cooperated with the German Nazi regime and fled France after the war. 【Annotation 8】Munich Element: A derogatory usage referring to the French who supported the signing of the Munich Agreement.Originated in September 1938, Britain, France, Germany and Italy signed an agreement in Munich, agreeing to cede the Sudetenland region of Czechoslovakia to Germany.

[Annotation 9] Celts: A nation that was active in Central Europe two thousand years ago, and is now distributed in the British Isles and Brittany, France. [Annotation 10] Hood Party: Another name for the secret organization of the National Revolutionary Action, an extreme right terrorist group in France in the 1930s. 【Annotation 11】Ruan Aiguo: The name used by Ho Chi Minh (1890︱1969), the founder of the Communist Party of Vietnam, when he joined the Communist Party in France in his youth and fought for citizenship for the people of the motherland. [Annotation 12] Ruan Taixue (1902︱1930): Founder of the Vietnamese Kuomintang, arrested and executed by the French colonial government after the Yen Bai Uprising in 1930.

[Translation Note 13] Annan: France established the Annan Protectorate in central Vietnam in 1847, and incorporated it into the French Indochina Federation in 1887. 【Annotation Fourteen】Paul.Shaq (1876︱1945): French naval officer, writer, fascist believer, known for his disgust and fear of Britain. During the occupation of France, he founded the Anti-Bolshevik Action Committee as a stronghold of anti-Bolsheviks and anti-Semites , and conducted propaganda and recruitment work for the French Volunteer Corps Against Bolshevism. [Annotation 15] Uncle Flash (Oncle Sem): The pronunciation is similar to the anthropomorphic image of Uncle Sam in the United States.Shem (Sem) is the eldest son of Noah, according to legend, the ancestors of the Semites (Semites).Anti-Semitic forces at the end of the nineteenth century saw Semites as synonymous with Judaism. Now, their world crumbled, splintered, reduced to water in a gutter.Now, they are condemned, wandering the streets like shadows, it's their turn, there is no hope, no other food, only the leaves that others peel off and the root vegetables that grow moldy green can eat, like eating dirt , Eat charcoal, eat iron, in this never-ending winter. What they called a new world did not come.They imagined themselves to be of aristocratic descent, descendants of colonial masters and manor lords, who could turn the world upside down at will.The reality that just happened opened their eyes.They were sent back to descendants of lesser races with their fancied family names.They don't fully understand it yet.They didn't see anything coming. What are they waiting for?To some, they were waiting for the English, the hated English since Grand Port, the perfidious English, to come ashore at Cape Malheure, Mauritius, with Wrapping the hooves of the horses in rags, they sneaked across the sugarcane gardens in the village of Mapo, severely frightening the French rearguard in Port Louis. The cunning British wiped out the entire French fleet in Myers︱E︱Kabir , mercilessly, but refused to fight against the Germans in the last stronghold of Dunkirk[Note 2], they waited to see the British fall from their thrones, bow their heads like them, they waited to see, this red and black face Two-coloured military flag, with a sinister iron hook on the crown, this time it is the turn of the British to see the shame brought by this flag! [Annotation 1] Battle of Grand Port: In August 1810, the French fleet defeated the British fleet at Grand Port on the island of Mauritius. A serious defeat record, and the only battle in which Napoleon's navy defeated Britain.Three months later, the French army was defeated and surrendered to the British.Mauritius, formerly known as Île-de-France, became a British colony in 1814. The French on the island still own land and property rights, and continue to use French as the common language for legal documents. [Annotation 2] In May 1940, the coalition forces decided to withdraw from the European continent to preserve their counter-offensive strength in the future. Under the bombing of the German army, they withdrew nearly 340,000 coalition troops from the port of Dunkirk to the United Kingdom within ten days. Dunkirk evacuated. Gradually, the world shrunk.They want to rule, and in order to achieve this, they will accept all kinds of ugly behaviors.Now, they understand that the occupying forces see them no differently than anyone else, that they will be hacked and harvested just like the people they despise, like all these beggars, nameless, born-born, born For those who serve them. Some people know how to play with the wind, that's what Adele heard Madame Le Mercier say, and her bitterness made the words all the more slanderous.Among these people, first was the treacherous Chemin, who used his notary business to help the Germans, registering the looted and auctioned properties of the Jews.And worse: Talon, the disgusting Talon, a suckerfish that sucks on its new owner, who claims to be the manager of businesses and rental buildings confiscated from the Jews, first in Capuchin 9 on the Boulevard, then on the rue Montmartre, an office was opened in the name of Labro and Xiong Pieron to manage the property of Rubinstein and Weinberg, and then in the town of Vihofrey in the southwestern suburbs. Another manages Abraham.Branch unit of Lou's property.When Atie thought of them, a cold anger rose in her heart, because they hadn't changed, and these dramatic events, the refugee waves, the routs, the sending of people of their generation to the concentration camps, these things did not matter to them at all. Damage, on the contrary, doubles their power. Does she blame other people, these walking dead people?They put themselves into the tiger's mouth without thinking, they believed all the lies of that era, and believed in their fate, as if they were really superior to others, born to be another race.Of course, she didn't even have time to hate these people. Nice, the city of operetta, the decorations left by the British in the era of Justice Bloom︱Vox[Note 1], the decorations left by the Russians in the era of the Queen[Note 2] and Mary.Decorations left over from Bashketsev's [Note 3] era, this indifferent and cold city, exposed to the sun, blown by the bitter cold wind from the mortar valley, the inhabitants here are black shadows embedded in the asphalt Beautiful trap, Atie thought! [Annotation 1] Justice Bloom︱Vox: real name Henry.Bloom (1778︱1868), served as a British justice in 1830, and was named Baron Bloom︱Vox, he built a residence in Cannes on the French Riviera, It turned Cannes from a small fishing village into a European resort, and the promenade from the mouth of the Waal River on the Côte d'Azur to Nice was also named the Avenue of the British under such influence. [Annotation 2] In the eighteenth century, Russia was ruled by female tsarinas for about seventy years. 【Annotation 3】Mary.Bashketsev (1858︱1884): Russian painter of Ukrainian origin. A certain chapter of The Pickwick Papers came to her mind, the debtor's prison where all the bankrupts, fake nobles and real parasites, they went around in circles, calling each other on the balcony, doing business, as if Still living a free life in the old city. [Annotation] "The Pickwick Papers": A work by the British novelist Charles Dickens, through the experience of the protagonist who is innocent, kind and ignorant of the world, describing the social life in Britain at that time. Gradually, the city streets became more and more withered, and the sensual venues, parks and the statue of Cupid in the park were springing up (now it is a hunting ground for wild cats).Shumbuhang Park, Villa Smith, Villa Vigie, Nesrei Castle, Schoffie Castle, Atenaos Hotel, and these beautiful and old grand hotels, Huller, Neglesko, Folly, Westminster, the Square, and the Hideaway Hotel that Alexander and Justin used to go to in the luxury era, you have to take a cable car to get up, and the park there must have reminded Alexander of Mocha (Mauritius Island)'s former residence, a large field with swaying palm trees. The Italian officers took up one floor of the hotel until one day the Germans moved them to live elsewhere because there were ranks even among noble lineages.Once, Eddie and Justine were walking together in the city center. Justine stopped and pointed to the end of the street. On the slope of Himiye Hill, the white stone brick building was bathed in the winter day. in the sun.This is all we have left for our honeymoon.Justine sighed.Ai Dieer held back the words mocking her: Did you conceive me in this inn? All the parks, the hills covered with acacia, and the beaches are surrounded by circles of wire strung with caltrops.Concrete walls block every avenue to the sea.At the headland, where Eddie used to like to watch the waves come and go and swim among the rocks, one day she saw some soldiers building a platform for an orbiting cannon out of concrete.The great windows of the seminary were sealed, and the priests in robes were replaced by soldiers and wounded.Almost everywhere, there are more and more walls and camouflage nets covering the roofs.The olive grove is strewn with mines.A board written in two languages ​​terrorizes passers-by with the head of a god of death.After six o'clock in the evening, the curfew begins.One night she came home late, and as she was going up the stairs, a gunshot blew a hole through the small round window on the sixth floor, and the bullet lodged itself in the wall.After that, every time she went down the stairs, Adie couldn't help but put her finger in the hole and feel for that small piece of iron, the piece of iron that almost killed her. When the sirens sounded over all the roofs of the town, all were obliged to light candles and hide in cellars till the sirens were lifted.The first few times Justine managed to drag her husband down with her, but then he collapsed into the armchair with his hands clasped tightly on the armrests.If you want to go down, go down, me, I would rather die outside than be buried in the ground like a mouse! People didn't die under the bombing of the British and Americans.But people gradually die, because they can't eat, because they can't breathe, because they can't be free, because they can't dream.The sea is just a line of blue in the distance, between the shadows of palm trees and above the red roofs.Atelier watched the sea from her parents' bedroom window for hours, as if waiting for something.A crane's sloping hanger jutted out between the roofs of the warehouse, motionless and useless.The ship sank outside the port, and no one could get in or out.The lighthouse is no longer lit at night.The market stalls were empty, almost nothing.The same shadows continue to roam the aisles, but the stripped leaves and moldy root vegetables that used to be stripped are now sold for money.In the park, feral cats are killing each other and eating dead bodies.The pigeons were gone, and the traps Justine had set in the gutters would catch nothing but mice. Adie found Moude, who lived in the basement of a building on the avenue beside the cliff.She hadn't seen her for six years, and those six years seemed like an eternity to her, going back to her teenage days.It was Justine who told her where Mould lived.The owner of this building is a grumpy old Russian man named Filatiev. He lives on the second floor by himself, and the first floor and the basement are rented out to some poor old men who are as elegant and old-fashioned as him.He rents each room to one person and shares the kitchen and bathroom.The place is big and uncomfortable, cold in winter and hot in summer, but Mou De's happiness in welcoming Adie is a bit deliberate, which represents her love.After all, maybe she has some feelings for the daughter of her former lover, when she was still a character in the past.She even kissed her on the cheek, and when she opened the door, she went forward without hesitation, as if she had been waiting for her day after day.This is what Ai Dier has never liked, it is instinct, she just does not want to touch this shriveled, shriveled skin, she does not want to smell the rice powder used for makeup left around the eyes and mouth, like tiny cracks I don't like the sticky feel of Moude's lipstick, and when someone said that she would never die before the war, she mentioned this interesting story that she put on lanolin to make the lipstick last longer. The room was low-ceilinged, gray and dark, and the air smelled of cat urine and poverty.Yes, there are, indeed, some cats.They ran about, furtive shadows gliding among the furniture, jumping on chests of drawers, crawling under old pianos that were out of tune.Minnie, Hama, Fleet!Come see who is coming, hurry up, come out, it's Adie, she won't eat you!She explained: They should be outside, they are happier in the park, the weather is nice, but what can be done?Some savages here will catch them and sell them for vivisection.I've had two cats killed so I had to lock them up.She said in a low voice: I know who did this, the bastard, but I can't say anything, we live in strange times, and you know it.She's still the same, a little crazy, but fun and alive.A woman who survived an era that has passed, but is so alive, it will make people not believe that era is really over, and it will make people imagine that there is a place far away from this shabby house and this gray city, On the other side of the horizon, such as Mustaganem [Note 1], men and women continue the old story, rejoicing to the music of the gait dance and the polka, and the same feast is constantly re-enacted, " The red curtain rises for the premiere of Bolero.She needn't be guilty of anything, Atie thought.There was an innocence in her, a hunger for life, which absolved her of past grotesques and mistakes. [Annotation 1] Mustaganem: Located on the Mediterranean coast of North Africa, the capital of the province of Mustaganem in Algeria. [Annotation 2] "Bolero": the last orchestral dance work of the French composer Ravel (1875︱1937), premiered at the Paris Opera House in November 1928. Coming to Villa Swoldnia has become a habit of Eddie.In the beginning, she would do it, partly out of pity, partly out of curiosity.Moreover, the name of this house is really beautiful, which means today in Russian, which reminds her of Shania. Her way is to love life and enjoy every moment without fantasy or unnecessary bitterness.This name is very suitable for Mou De. Even if she had to choose her own name, there is nothing more suitable than this. Gradually, other reasons finally surfaced, even without her realizing it.The old question she never dared to ask was still there, maybe because she didn't know how to ask it or maybe she wasn't sure if Mou De knew the answer.This long relationship, linking this woman to her father, began before she was born, even before Alexander met Justine.That is a matter of another era, as people say, it is a matter of a previous life.This feeling continues, like a lingering cloud, dragging on for a lifetime, indescribable, and with no outlet.And the memory of someone in the family who was there, a ghost who was there, and even if no one ever mentioned it to her face, it was no secret to Atel.Are grown-ups really so dumb as to think a little girl can't understand if they just half-speak, cover up, or even keep silent?The memory of that night is still in her mind. At that time, Atel was about eight years old. She and Moude went to see the premiere of "Bolero" together. The music gradually swelled and grew louder. Backlash, applause.It all seemed so far away, like a dream, and yet, strangely, it resurfaced here, in the terrible basement of the house, and as she stepped through the door, she read the name Swadnia. At this time, the heart beats faster. She came in the morning, around ten or eleven o'clock.Mood waits for her behind the door and opens it even before she knocks.Often, Eddie didn't go to Swadnia for several days, but Moud didn't say anything to blame when he saw her. The first time Adie walked in, she already understood how far the disaster had spread in this woman's life.On the dining table and by the sink, she saw leftovers, where Moud had left them for her cat to share.Guts, fruit peels, bread heads soaked in a big bowl of milk.Mou De was very hungry, but she still didn't want it to be seen.So, she tried to hide the reality.She could always find something for a snack.Put hard biscuits that are about to rot, a few medlars plucked from the Russian garden, or traditional Mauritian fried bread, soaked in egg yolk, fried in a pan, and her The Imagine Tea is what she took the name from.She used a chipped Japanese teapot, which, according to her, was Pierre.Loti [Note] from that era.She invented some recipes for making tea from orange trees, small acacia flowers and petals of roses or chrysanthemums, with apple peel and eucalyptus capsules, thyme, lavex vitex leaves, and what she used in empty cans Mint planted by the transom.Most of the time, the tea is very choking and hard to swallow.Ai Die'er would touch it with her tongue, and then say: Mou De, I'm sorry, can I have some white tea? 【Annotation】Pierre.Lotte (1850︱1923): French novelist, whose works are full of exotic flavors. He went to Japan during his service in the navy and wrote the novel "Madame Chrysanthemum" with Nagasaki as the background. She always brings her some small pastries, small things that Bouhang doesn’t have at home, and the basics that Mou De needs to make a living: rice, sugar, pig skin hard enough to make shoe soles, chicory root instead of coffee , and the oil rations that the cats licked greedily as if they were cream. In the middle of winter, the basement was so cold that white steam came out of their mouths when they spoke.There was nothing to burn in the black cast-iron stove, and Eddie brought some from the old newspapers that Justine piled up in the cellar, and it was too damp to burn.Moud's way of living is to wrap himself in shawls and blankets and look like a witch.When she slept, she held the cat to her chest. The initial time of their reunion passed, and they didn't talk much.At least, Adele doesn't talk much, she never asks any questions.Mou De's eloquent talk always has no beginning and no end, twists and turns, unpredictable, just like her life.She never had any complaints.The war, the occupation by the Italian army, it made no difference to her.In fact, it kind of narrowed the horizon of her life, because her collection of leftovers became more complicated.In the past, she didn't eat because she was hungry, but now, she would feel hungry, that's all.The sugar and rice Adieer brought her would brighten her eyes, but she was in no hurry to eat them.The next time Adieer brings new stock, Mou De will point it out to her, and say in a childish and satisfied tone: Look, I still have some.Or: just so, the neighbor next door, the poor old woman, has nothing to eat.As if she herself was not old, not pitiful, not really in need of these things. Because of this kind of pride, Adie began to like Mou De.She imagined that these years, this woman lived in the whirlwind of music, singing on stage, in concerts, and even on cruise ships in the Mediterranean, cruising one island after another.At the opera house in Mustaganem, the front half of the stage was all about her, singing fashionable operettas to the colonial French.She knew what it was like behind the fluttering red curtain before the light dimmed three times.What has this time left for her?Her gray-green eyes are long and slender like apricots, obviously pulled into by the clips of the wig hidden under her sideburns. Adie is searching in these eyes, trying to unravel the mystery of this series of memories. Now, she no longer doubts: the question that has bothered her for so long, the one she never asks, about her father falling in love with a female singer in law school on Assas Street, which is older than the Revolution the age of.Were they really once lovers?Did Moud weep when Alexandria married this younger bourgeois girl from Réunion?Was it also when she decided to flee, like a foster woman, and ran off to Algeria with a banker? At the same time, Atel was ashamed that she had thought about such a question, such an insignificant, such a bossy, such a shameful question.She would not accept the love-crazed obscenity of this old skin on this courteous, tall young elegant man, with his long black hair, his mustache and blue eyes, and his incredible creole Accent, his self-confidence The young master of the colonial manor is now in the hardest but poorest capital in the world! Rarely, Mou De found some commemorative things.A portrait pendant (she said it was of her mother, but it might have been a portrait of Gabriel Destry), an ivory rosary necklace, and a small sandalwood box containing various Necklaces and rings, made of emerald, lapis lazuli, coral, and man-made gemstones, seem to be the result of a tomb robbery, but according to Mou De's comment, it seems that this is a real treasure: You know, don't tell your mother, I After death, these things are yours. 【Annotation】Gabriel.Destriy (1570-1573, died 1599): favorite mistress of King Henri IV of France, whose portrait is famous for the painting of Gabriel and her sisters. When she came home, she thought that there might be a ring or some earrings in this pile of second-hand goods. It might have been a gift from the former Alexander, maybe a family memento he had brazenly stolen. Thinking of this, Adele felt a little sick.In fact, it was not the loss of the jewelry that made her angry, but the ridiculous situation. The strange and complicated psychology between her and the past, the past years, the crazy past.These necklaces, these amulets, these pearls, these are also her mother's tears, these are the cries, the quarrels she has heard since she was a child, there is already a silent anger between the couple, who live at opposite ends of the apartment, separated by This endless corridor is like the border of the battlefield after the armistice. Ai Dier was so angry that she stayed at home for several days and did not go to Mou De's place again.Justine packed a lunch box, some leftovers for the cat, and a bag of old clothes.Aren't you going to Mude's house?she asked.Why don't you go by yourself?Eddie replied.yeah, why?Hasn't this old, slightly ugly, silly story not dragged on long enough?Now, they're old, the world is at war, and people are starving in beautiful neighborhoods.The frivolous and alluring became a poor woman, and the playboy became a tall old man. She went to Swadnia again, and Moud greeted her with an attitude almost humble, which made her feel ashamed.In the lively atmosphere, in the mischievous and absurd movements, Atelier reads the sadness of loneliness, the fear of death, and emptiness.Even the cats were a source of tension.For the first time, a skinny kitten with white spots and yellow spots jumped onto the young girl's lap, purring in its throat and pawing lightly.It's almost like it's been planned in secret.Had Moud's sorcery reached such a height that she could speak in the ears of her little animals and make them perform a sentimental comedy?彷彿為了讓這一切更像陷阱,牟德用她的方法準備了下午茶天知道是什麼茶還有,桌上很顯眼地擺著一個盤子,裡頭放著僅有的一只紅蘋果,在這種時候,這是不可思議的奢侈品。 艾蝶兒和牟德十分儉省地分食了這顆水果,她們咬著每一塊清脆的切片,沒有去皮,不過牟德的一口牙已經掉了不少,只能用一邊咀嚼。蘋果的故事填滿了她們這一天的對話:妳想像一下,我在菜市場,妳知道的,我去買一點東西,不是什麼了不起的東西,就是買一些煮湯用的蔬菜,這些小蘿蔔、這些根菜,我們是怎麼叫這些菜來著?聽說這些都是墨西哥、巴西來的。我還買了一些內臟給小動物吃所以,那真的是她,那個影子,混在那些彎腰駝背的影子當中,那些彎向地面的影子(亞歷山大常說這是土地的召喚),在攤架底下偷撿爛掉的水果和發黃的菜葉,塞滿背上的簍子。 戰爭,可以是這般有氣無力的光景,每一天都和前一天相似,但是又少了什麼細節一條走向冬季的漫漫長路。艾蝶兒望著茱絲汀,她在窗前,坐在那張劫後餘生的安樂椅上,窗外是一片紅屋頂和棕櫚樹的風景,起重機從樓房之間突出來,傾圮的燈塔,鋼鐵色的地平線。一片寧靜的風景,可以發人詩興,可以作為情歌的背景,空無,難以捉摸,閃耀著一絲清冷的珠光。右邊,幾間麵粉廠之間聳著一根桅杆,那是一艘在占領初期被德國人弄沉的美國帆船,宛如召喚著眾人的同情,像被擊斃的信天翁的一根翅膀,粗魯的兵士的復仇。 到處都是謠言。艾蝶兒覺得像在一座島上,和一切如此遙遠,所有事情看起來都不是真的那麼戲劇化,可是卻又足夠靠近,暴力的浪潮登岸,爆炸的氣息,在某處,麻痺了意志力和想像力。 她什麼也不能做。人們談論一支影子大軍,談論愛國同胞的地下反抗,談論英國士兵跳傘降落在田野。But where? 她不時感到對於音樂的需要,不只是要聽到聲音,或是聽一首夜曲。那是一種身體性的需要,會讓她痛到身體的中心。有兩三次,她試著彈了一下牟德家的老鋼琴,因為就算象牙鍵吱吱嘎嘎,彈起來還是比廚房桌上排成一列的銀餐刀好些。但她缺的不是鋼琴,而是心情。彈啊,我的小美人!妳彈啊,我來唱。牟德會這麼說。Nothing happened. 艾蝶兒開始造訪斯沃德尼亞一陣子之後,有個好心女人告訴大家,牟德在那些有錢人住的街區裡,一棟樓接著一棟樓,在人家的中庭裡唱些輕歌劇的曲子,再撿起人家從窗戶丟出來的賞金,聽到這裡,亞歷山大把頭低下。這可真嚇人。或許,亞歷山大把頭埋在雙手之間,是為了擦去偷偷滴下的淚水,至少,艾蝶兒願意相信是這樣。 謠言的形式就是這些四處流傳的假新聞,都說是在收音機裡聽到的。英國人、美國人就要盟軍已經開始在太平洋戰區擊退日本人了。加拿大人派兵參戰了。教宗宣布盟軍開始在義大利的卡拉布里亞、在希臘登陸了。茱絲汀密切注意這些資訊,她的生活裡充滿了這些消息,她在家裡報告這些事的時候,兩眼興奮地閃爍著光。這是對於另一個年代的報復,從前,在星期天的沙龍裡,她只能聽,只能點頭,她只能用靦腆的聲音說,這個舍芒,這個塔隆,我不是很喜歡他們,在那個年代,當亞歷山大怒氣沖沖地大罵社會主義者、無政府主義者的時候,她聳聳肩,無所謂地說:你總是把每件事都說得這麼誇張! 不時也會有逮捕的傳聞。車站旁的菁華大飯店,德國人把囚犯關在那裡審問、毆打,灌水灌到幾乎死去。靜居大飯店亞歷山大和茱絲汀孕育愛情結晶的宮殿地窖裡的囚犯被嚴刑拷打,在深夜裡發出像狗一樣的哀嚎,男人被拔去指甲,女人被強暴,一根棍子插進她們的屁股,點燃的麥稈燒傷她們的乳頭。這種事茱絲汀從來不說,然而謠言還是會傳來,艾蝶兒問她的時候,她的目光會開始游移。彷彿惡魔占據了整個城市的高處,監視著所有街道。有時艾蝶兒會遇到一隊穿著灰綠色軍服的德國士兵,踩著規律的步伐巡邏。他們不像那些義大利年輕人,會幫她拿袋子,會在坡道上幫她推腳踏車。 就這麼一次,艾蝶兒收到了一封信。那是從前的美國領事,一個叫做歐基維的愛爾蘭人,住在隔壁那棟樓。他一副神祕兮兮的模樣,把一個厚紙信封遞給艾蝶兒,封口處是用細線車縫的,上頭沒有名字也沒有地址。艾蝶兒把信封接了過來,藏進大衣的口袋裡,這麼做多少有一點是為了延續美國領事的神祕遊戲。男人壓低聲音對她說:請轉告令尊和令堂,請他們離開這裡。原籍英國的公民在這裡不安全,你們得去躲在山裡。沒等艾蝶兒回答,他就轉過身去,意思是他們不該再見面了。 信裡,羅宏的習慣還是一樣,沒說什麼。他談政治,批評各國政府的蒙昧,讓事情發展到不可收拾的地步。他嘲笑科唐坦街的沙龍客人,嘲笑塔隆,嘲笑勒梅希耶將軍夫人。艾蝶兒在字裡行間聽見一點吱吱嘎嘎的聲音,彷彿羅宏正在自言自語。他沒說任何關於他生活的事,也沒說他在什麼地方。這是戰爭。信上沒有回信的地址。 艾蝶兒把信讀了兩遍,讀得出來的情感這麼少,讓她覺得很驚訝。這封信這麼冰冷,這麼遙遠,這麼英國。這極度簡約的品味,這若有似無的嘲笑在另一個國家裡,人們繼續喝茶,繼續閒聊,人們有時間可以看著天空,論述時事。人們可以評論歷史,因為他們也是歷史的一部分。艾蝶兒兩手拿著信紙,重讀每一行,彷彿得把這封信熟記在心。艾蝶兒下意識地做出從前的動作,她把信紙貼近臉龐,嗅著信紙,尋找一種熟悉的味道,或許是皮膚的鹹味,在陽光下,在沙丘上。然後,她把信放進暖爐裡,她只點燃一簇明亮的火燄,微微的藍。 他們在黎明動身,像是偷偷摸摸搬家的人。艾蝶兒一切都打理好了,警察局的許可、通行證、油票官方文件上,掌管占領區交通事務的長官簽了名,提到一個年長的病人,而且只有十二月十四日這一天有效。那輛老德︱迪昂︱布通從它的墊木上開下來,完成了奇蹟。在處處懸吊著鐘乳石的峽谷盡頭,在一條結冰的路上,它跑了這麼多公里都沒出問題。阿爾貝提家在蜂岩村【註】的房子是用難看的石塊砌成的石磚建築,就在村子口,前面是威蘇比河。抵達的時候,亞歷山大已經快要昏迷了。她們得把他拖到樓上去,艾蝶兒和茱絲汀在後頭撐住他,阿爾貝提太太在前面拉著他,終於讓他躺在床上,和衣而眠。他的臉色土灰,頭髮已經太長,沒有修整的鬍子讓他看起來像個越獄的逃犯。茱絲汀這個一輩子活在高大男人身影下的女人,突然振作了起來。她接下這個小得不能再小的公寓,清掃,整理,布置得彷彿這就是他們的固定住所。亞歷山大的精神漸漸好轉了。他不是那種愛抱怨的人。他在一張籐椅上找到自己的位子,在燒柴的暖爐旁邊,抽著用胡蘿蔔鬚和香葉芹做成的假香菸。艾蝶兒每天早上都以為茱絲汀會告訴她:爸爸在夜裡死了。 【譯註】蜂岩村:法國東南部威蘇比河河谷的小山村,距法義邊境不遠,在尼斯北方約五十五公里,與尼斯同屬義大利占領區。 不知不覺,生活又重新上了軌道。村子裡沒有謠言。四周的高山矗立成一個冰冷的屏障,阻絕了外面的世界。年輕人去義大利開槍對抗法西斯,就像在山裡獵殺岩羚羊一樣,不說大話,不過不必躲躲藏藏。他們從消失在雲裡的山徑越過邊界,他們回來的時候帶著火腿、臘腸、淡菸草、巧克力、一箱箱的子彈。他們穿著羊皮,皮膚被風吹刮成褐色,滿臉鬍髭,一副永不退縮的樣子。女孩子看起來像是布勒蓋爾【註】畫裡的農婦。艾蝶兒把自己打扮得跟她們一樣,是為了隱身在人群裡,但也是因為她很喜歡這些女孩。短披肩、粗羊毛裙、黑頭巾、木底鞋。這裡的女人都很慷慨,很安靜。透過港口教區神父的引介,艾蝶兒和她的家人一到寡婦阿爾貝提太太的家,就受到全村子的保護。她知道村民們不會出賣她,這些人就算被剁成肉塊,也不會去告發他們。 【譯註】布勒蓋爾:十六、十七世紀法蘭德斯家族,上下四代都有著名畫家。 他們沒有錢,可是不管到哪裡,到麵包店,到肉鋪,大家都讓他們賒帳。等戰爭結束,阿爾貝提太太這麼說。意思是戰爭將會結束。在這裡,走路的時候眼睛不必盯著地上,在攤架之間搜尋破碎的菜葉。這裡沒有什麼寶藏可以拿來跟人換金錶或是傳家的珠寶。這裡既貧窮又乾旱,冬日的天空光裸裸的,風會割人,但是在屋裡,爐子燒得呼呼響,聞到的是怡人的味道,湯和酸麵包,乾柴的煙。處處迴盪著河水的清澈樂音。 每天早上,艾蝶兒都陪母親去買菜。春天來臨的時候,滿天都是燕子。太陽照亮了積雪未融的山峰,溫柔的風吹進河谷,帶來海洋的氣味,這種氣味,讓艾蝶兒的身體輕顫。 肉鋪的刀把肉切成非常細薄的薄片,帶著白白的肥肉,藍蒼蠅立刻黏了上來。茱絲汀,因為擔憂,她是這麼說的,因為她每天半夜都得振作精神起床陪亞歷山大去廁所,她的右腿慢慢出現了一處潰瘍。艾蝶兒看到同樣的這些蒼蠅黏在母親的腿上,黏在傷口的邊緣,她感到一陣噁心,彷彿這些蒼蠅正在生吞活噬她的母親。她把蒼蠅趕走,可是牠們又會回來,黏在潰瘍的傷口不走,甚至茱絲汀走路的時候也黏在那裡。需要的是藥、繃帶。村裡的藥房只有亞甲藍,這藥水塗滿茱絲汀的腿,依舊枉然。 艾蝶兒看著她的父母,茱絲汀在客廳的深處,躺在她當床用的那張爛沙發上,亞歷山大舒服地癱在籐椅上,頭上墊著一個枕頭,坐在柴火燒盡的暖爐旁邊,手上攤開一份一九四〇年的《時代報》【註一】,他正在作夢,正在神遊。要知道真相,要知道真正的故事,要知道他們如何認識,為什麼想結婚,怎麼會想到要生一個小女孩,一切已經太晚。艾蝶兒發現她並不愛他們,但是她放不下他們。那是一種連結,或許是一條鎖鍊。她隨時都可以丟下他們,躡手躡腳走出去,再把大門輕輕關上,搭上雜貨店老闆涅哥先生的小卡車他早就問過她要不要搭他的車了他會載她沿著蜿蜒的威蘇比河下山,直到海邊。會發生什麼事?她已經二十歲了,她知道怎麼吵架,怎麼使詐,怎麼脫身。到了檢查站,她只要選對海關官員,挑對憲兵,哄一哄他們就行了。她可以通過所有的關卡。她可以到拉斯佩齊亞,到里窩那【註二】。她可以搭上一艘船,直到世界的盡頭,直到加拿大。沒有任何事可以阻止她。 【譯註一】《時代報》:法國日報,報社位於巴黎,一八六一年創刊,一九四二年停刊,戰後因通敵罪,資產遭沒收充公。 【譯註二】拉斯佩齊亞、里窩那:義大利海港,位於地中海沿岸,分別位於尼斯東邊近三百公里和三百八十公里處(陸路距離)。 一個五月天的早晨,她聽到一陣不明的聲響。地在震動,窗玻璃、桌上的玻璃杯都在震動。還沒來得及穿上衣服,她就跑去窗邊,撥開窗簾。路上,沿著河道,一個縱隊正在前進,軍車的大燈亮著。軍用卡車、裝甲車、摩托車,後頭跟著坦克。一片灰色的煙塵,像昆蟲大軍往新的領土行進。他們緩緩前進,兵士們彼此緊緊靠著。他們從屋前走過,往北邊,往山上走去。艾蝶兒站著沒動,幾乎屏住了呼吸。軍用卡車後面,坦克車的履帶噪音撼動著地面,砲管指向前方,像是無用的玩具。 這些聲響吵醒了茱絲汀。她穿著睡衣走到窗邊,兩隻手臂在身體旁邊輕晃著,兩隻光溜溜的腳縮著,踏在冰冷的地磚上。艾蝶兒用氣音輕輕地說:他們要走了。她不是很確定他們是誰,就在這時,在坦克後面,出現的是那些卸下篷頂的大卡車,上頭滿載著士兵,引擎的噪音聽起來更讓人擔心了。茱絲汀拉著艾蝶兒的手臂。come over!她悄聲地說,彷彿卡車上的士兵會聽到她在說話。可是艾蝶兒不聽。她想要看著他們每一個人,直到最後一個。這些穿著厚重大衣的男人,一個個緊挨在一起,大部分都沒戴鋼盔,一副精疲力盡的模樣。沒有一個人抬起頭往窗戶看一眼,或許他們害怕。這幅空無的景象進入了艾蝶兒的腦海,驅走先前所有的回憶。後來,她才知道,她在蜂岩村,從廚房窗戶看見的這些人,是隆美爾元帥【註一】在非洲殘餘的部隊,他們正在往北方走,希望能從阿爾卑斯山回到德國。她後來才知道,他們的統帥不在這個車隊裡,他已經搭飛機回到柏林,把他遺棄的部隊留在充滿敵意的國度。她試著想像這些人心裡的感受,在軍用卡車的平台上,當他們迎向越來越高的山壁,坦克車的履帶震耳欲聾,無線電裡一片沉寂,沒有統帥,沒有命令,他們要靠雙腳越過柏黑翁【註二】積雪的山嶺,野狼隨侍在側。 【譯註一】隆美爾(一八九一︱一九四四):納粹德國陸軍元帥,二次世界大戰於北非戰場因用兵迅速果決,屢屢以少勝多,有沙漠之狐的稱號。一九四三年三月,隆美爾回德國養病,同年五月,非洲軍團向盟軍投降。 【譯註二】柏黑翁:位於蜂岩村北方約二十公里,近義大利邊界。 接下來的靜默,日復一日,月復一月,那些消息有如遠方的竊竊私語,慢慢透了進來,幾乎沒有任何干擾。後來,一個夏日,傳來另一個軍隊的喧嘩聲,凱旋的聲音,全村的人都走到街上看他們的到來,像在看賽馬。茱絲汀陪艾蝶兒到了橋邊。近午時分,部隊進村了。最前面的,是摩托車和吉普車,跟在後頭的是卸下篷頂的大卡車,上頭站著美國、英國、加拿大的士兵。一旁的踏板上,站著幾個穿便服的法國人,他們掛在車門上,肩著獵槍。路上有一些叫聲,一些喝采和掌聲。孩子們沿著馬路跑,他們已經學會了,他們伸出手,他們知道要向士兵們大叫:出雲︱港(chewing︱gum,口香糖)!他們的山村腔,發出來的聲音是:出音︱公︱母! 車上丟出了巧克力、米麵包、粗鹽醃牛肉的罐頭、Spam牌的餐肉罐頭。茱絲汀彎下身子,動作迅速地把所有撿得到的東西都撿起來。可是艾蝶兒站在那裡,身體動不了。茱絲汀拿了太多東西,於是把一包米麵包跟一罐Spam餐肉放在艾蝶兒的手上。艾蝶兒看著,卻不明白。她什麼也感覺不到,只感覺到這令人驚愕的靜默,像喧囂許久之後的靜默。彷彿《波麗露》的四下敲擊永無止境地迴盪著,不過這不是定音鼓的敲擊,而是爆炸的聲響,他們出城的前一夜,落在尼斯的炸彈把浴室的地炸成了泥,讓城裡所有的警報一起呼號。 那天晚上,在阿爾貝提太太家的廚房裡,亞歷山大和茱絲汀十分儉省地用一片片白麵包蘸著湯吃,這麵包白得過分,甜而乏味,像教堂的聖餐麵餅,艾蝶兒覺得嘴裡都是Spam牌餐肉的味道,那粉紅色的肉糜,圍繞著一條條黃色的泡沫,在她的舌上融化開來。 羅宏從戰場回來了。一個星期前,寄來了一張明信片,那是一小張卡紙,在法國的英國陸軍單位印製的,只說了他從巴黎搭火車抵達的日期和時間。明信片上還特別說抵達地是尼斯火車站,不過,大家都知道或許除了那些轟炸過尼斯火車站的人瓦爾橋【註】已經不存在了,鐵路不通了。 【譯註】瓦爾橋:橫跨瓦爾河的大橋,從尼斯西邊進城的交通要道。一九四四年五月二十六日,盟軍對法國中東部和東南部展開大規模轟炸行動,瓦爾橋被炸毀。 艾蝶兒騎上腳踏車,她踩著踏板沿海邊一直騎到瓦爾河的河口。那裡搭了一座倍力橋。火車預計十一點抵達,但是從九點開始,艾蝶兒就在那兒了。太陽已經很灼人了。在傾圮的橋墩下,河水因融雪而上漲,往海面延伸出一大片泥濘的顏色。一群群海鷗在河灣的上空盤旋,尋找食物。這座臨時便橋像驢背似的,架在河口往上游去的地方,那兒的河道比較窄,可是通往這座便橋的路,卻像是車輪在河岸野地上壓出來的車轍。憲兵們試著要疏導交通,沉甸甸的卡車吃力地爬上倍力橋的斜面,下坡時,煞車皮又吱嘎作響。一大群人想要過橋帶著行李的旅人、一對對夫妻、一些孩子。艾蝶兒終於推著腳踏車過了橋。引擎聲、車燈的光、飛揚的塵土和嗆人的黑煙,她覺得和平似乎還沒到來。 到了聖羅宏車站,情況也不是太妙。火車頭都在調度,準備離開車站,司機們吼叫著,站長們吹著哨子下達著矛盾的命令,鐵道的轉轍器簡直像在抱怨。往馬賽的火車負載過重,車輪原地空轉,射出一束束的火花,孩子們看得開心極了。 每一列火車進站,一群男男女女就像潮水般湧上月台,擠進那道窄門。穿制服的士兵、剛被放出來的囚犯,有些人還裹著繃帶。艾蝶兒踮起腳,她不知道自己來這裡到底是為了什麼,說不定羅宏會從別的地方來尼斯。她的心跳得很快,不由自主,她心想,她做的事就像個多愁善感的天真少女,像個未婚妻。為了讓自己心安,她的結論是,無論如何,就算她沒找到羅宏,她也可以去跟河邊那些種菜的買些青菜帶回去。只剩下這裡還找得到紅蘿蔔、小蘿蔔、甜菜了。運氣好的話,還可以買個半打雞蛋。 從巴黎來的旅客都下車了。艾蝶兒的四周人頭湧湧。有些眼睛像在探詢她,有時,有人微笑地望著她,眼裡帶著希望。突然間,就在她正要離開的時候,她看到他了。羅宏站在月台的盡頭,他在那裡等著。那是個奇怪的側影,那套衣服對他削瘦的身體來說有點太大,他飄動的卡其褲,他的黑皮鞋和小手提箱,跟他從新港搭船來布列塔尼的時候一樣。艾蝶兒發現他有一點像大兵日記裡的卓別林,害她很想笑。 片刻之後,他們互相擁抱,他們不像久別重逢的戀人那樣激情擁吻,而是相當男性的擁抱,羅宏的雙臂環著艾蝶兒的肩膀,緊緊把她抱在懷裡。 艾蝶兒在心裡問著自己,會不會有什麼感覺,感覺到一點點上次在勒普杜的夏日回憶,軍裝外套毛糙的觸感,這個男人的氣味,迴盪在他胸腔裡的說話聲音。她試著要連回過去的時光,那時他們一起躺在沙丘上,他們還以為一切都很容易,他們一輩子都可以繼續這樣下去。 羅宏硬邦邦的,讓人覺得疏遠,他一直就是這個樣子。見到她的時候,他差點沒握住她的手,以您相稱。見不到她的這段時間,他無時無刻不在想她,想她頭髮的氣味,想她唇上鹽巴的味道,想她皮膚上嵌著的細沙。他寫了一些詩給她,卻無法投遞。 靜默在他們之間築起一道看不見的牆。羅宏覺得有點不好意思,因為他把艾蝶兒的照片忘在南安普頓軍營寢室的牆上了。剛到那裡的時候,為了跟其他人一樣,他也把照片釘在牆上。 後來,腳踏車就上路了,從河岸開始,沿著海邊走,但是這可不像勒普杜的那些小路。大道【註】旁都是擋板和鐵蒺藜拒馬,還有廢棄的崗亭,堵住了整個人行道。與其等那些擠得滿滿的巴士上出現空位,還不如自己上路。羅宏岔開兩腿踩著踏板,艾蝶兒側坐在車架的橫桿上,一手勾著羅宏的脖子。小行李箱鉤在後座裝蔬菜的柳條筐裡!實在很怪,實在了不起。這輛老爺腳踏車載重過多,不斷發出呻吟,不斷歪斜。他們停下來,坐在擋土牆上休息了好幾次,兩腿懸空,面向大海。一路上,路人們都在看這對年輕的戀人,這個紅棕色頭髮的英國軍人,和他裹頭巾、穿木鞋的法國小女朋友。他們鼓掌,而羅宏也認真地向他們回以邱吉爾的V型勝利手勢。甚至還有個攝影記者幫他們拍了照,他應該是拿去賣給當地小報當頭版的配圖了,誰知道呢?說不定這張照片會傳遍全世界。 【譯註】大道(Promenade):指蔚藍海岸從瓦爾河河口通往尼斯的英國人大道。 艾蝶兒笑了。這是她這麼久以來第一次笑,她不禁淚水盈眶,不過,這是美好的。如此,他們的心就甦醒了,走出了冬季的停航期。他們找回了記憶中的每一秒,儘管這並不是無害的。他們想起來,他們曾經快樂過。 只有一次,羅宏造訪了布杭家,去了他們的頂樓公寓。茱絲汀很誇張地把他當成我們的救星來接待,亞歷山大似乎沒認出他來。他始終沉默不語,不過,羅宏要離開的時候,他緊握住他的手不願鬆開,眼裡是不安的神情。或許,他明白,他就要永遠失去艾蝶兒了。 回巴黎之前這次搭的是福基斯人公司的巴士羅宏問了艾蝶兒:妳會來加拿大跟我一起生活嗎?艾蝶兒沒有回答。她沒要他說清楚,跟我一起生活是什麼意思。當他的情人?他的妻子?他把最後一首詩給了她,是在離開英國前一夜寫的。一頁殘缺、潮濕的紙,聞起來有一種怪味,像是汗水、疲憊的味道。 鉛筆的字跡已經有點模糊。她讀了: 每一秒沒有緣由我想念妳 妳的眼睛妳的聲音 妳不把話說完的方式 妳臉龐的味道 妳濕透的頭髮 當我們躺在沙上 潮水湧上我們身邊 當我們在沙丘漫步 我從妳腳上剝下松針 在木棚的粗俗裡 妳陪我度過每一秒 在南安普頓 在普茲茅斯 在潘贊斯 明天我將撫摸法蘭西的土地 我將撫摸妳
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