Chapter 16 Chapter Sixteen

On the anniversary of my passing, Dr. Singer called to say he would not be home for dinner.Regardless, Luanna continued to exercise as usual.In winter, there is a corner of the room that seems to be the warmest. She sits on the carpet here to stretch her muscles and bones. Although her mind is still thinking about her husband not coming home, she lets her thoughts go and does not try to comfort herself. Anyway, she is tired from exercising. Now, she will naturally put this matter behind her.She sat on the ground, leaning forward, stretching her arms towards her toes, concentrating on doing exercises, her mind gradually went blank.She bent down and got up, her muscles ached slightly, her body felt a pleasurable pain, and she forgot everything.

The floor-to-ceiling windows of the dining room almost touch the ground, and there is only a slender wall panel between the windows and the ground. In winter, the heating is exhausted from here. Because she doesn't like to be disturbed by the sound of the heating, Luana often turns off the heating.From the dining room, you can see the cherry trees outside, the leaves and flowers are long gone, and the empty bird feeder hangs gently dangling from the branches. She kept stretching her muscles and bones until her body warmed up.At this time, she has forgotten who she is, and everything around her is getting farther and farther away from her.She forgot her age and her son, but the figure of Mr. sneaked back to her heart.

She had a premonition, vaguely knowing why her husband came home late and late.His late return was not because of having an affair or meeting a student who admired him, but because of his ambition.Many years ago, she was also ambitious. If it wasn't for the injury, she would not have given up lightly. Therefore, she understood why her husband came home late. She heard voices outside, Halliday yelling two streets away, Gilbert's dog responding, Ray walking up and down the stairs.After a while, the voice of progressive rock singer Jethro Tull came from upstairs again, and the sudden music isolated all the noise.

Although she smokes, in order not to let Lei follow suit, she only smokes secretly once in a while. Apart from that, she doesn't have any bad habits, and she is still in good health.Neighbors and wives all praised her for maintaining a good figure, and some wives asked her if she would mind sharing with them how to maintain beauty, but she always thought that everyone wanted to talk to her lonely foreign neighbor out of politeness, so she asked her these questions.At this time, she was sitting cross-legged, breathing slowly and deeply, but she couldn't completely relax and forget everything.She kept thinking that her husband was working longer and longer hours, what would she do alone when Lei grew up?This thought sneaked up from the bottom of the feet, crawled along the calves, knee sockets to thighs, and continued to spread to the whole body.

Doorbell rang. Luana was very happy that someone interrupted her thoughts. Although she usually followed the rules and rarely stopped halfway, she jumped up regardless of the halfway of exercise, picked up a shawl that was draped on the chair, Wrapping the shawl around her waist in a hurry, Lei played music upstairs loudly, and she went to open the door amidst the music, thinking that it might be the neighbor who knocked.People came to complain that the music was too loud, but she answered the door in red tights and a big shawl around her waist. Standing on the doorstep was Ruth, holding a paper bag of groceries.

Hi Luana says: What's the matter? I'm here for Ray. please come in. The music upstairs was still very loud, and they were talking almost at the top of their voices, and Ruth walked into the hall. Please go upstairs yourself.Luana shouted and pointed to the stairs. I watched Luana look at Ruth's baggy outfit, the turtleneck, and the snowsuit she was wearing, and she thought to herself: Well, maybe I can start with her and help myself find something to do. Ruth had followed her mother to the supermarket earlier, and while shopping for groceries, she saw some candles among the paper plates, plastic forks and spoons.She knew what day it was at school, and when she got home, she lay on the bed and read a book, and then helped her mother tidy up her father's so-called tool room and her own poet's cottage, and now she goes grocery shopping with her mother.But none of that was enough to mourn the one-year anniversary of my passing, so she decided to do something special.

As soon as she saw the candle, she immediately wanted to find Ray to act together. Although all signs pointed to that they were not boyfriend and girlfriend, because they often met at the shot field, the classmates still made them a couple.Ruth could draw as many nudes as she wanted, wear a headscarf, write a report on rock diva Janis Joplin, or speak out against shaving her legs and armpits as oppressive women, but in the eyes of her classmates, she was still The weird girl who was caught kissing a freak. Nobody knew it was just an experiment, and they didn't tell everyone.Ray had only kissed me before, and Ruth had no experience, so she decided to kiss each other to see what it felt like.

As they lay on the leaves of a maple tree behind the teachers' parking lot afterwards, Ruth told Ray: "I don't feel anything. I don't feel anything either.Ray admitted. did you feel it when you kissed susie have. what does it feel like I feel like I want more.I kissed her again in my dream that night, and I don't know if she felt the same way. Have you ever thought about having sex with her? We haven't gotten to that point yet, Ray said: Now I kiss you and it doesn't feel the same. We can continue to try, Ruth said: As long as you don't tell others, I am willing to cooperate.

I thought you liked girls.Ray said. OK, let's talk it over, and Ruth said: You can pretend I'm Suzie, and I'll pretend I'm her. You are such a weirdo.Ray smiled. You mean you don't want to try it?Ruth teased him. Stop messing around and let me look at your sketch again. Maybe I'm weird, Ruth said as she took out a sketchbook from her backpack. She drew a lot of nude women using "Playboy" as a model. She slightly deleted or added various parts of the nude women, and was still painted Add hair to dark sensitive parts, but at least I don't use charcoal to scribble on a certain part of a woman.

Ray was dancing to the music when Ruth entered the room.Ray was short-sighted, with fairly thick lenses, but since his dad would only pay for the cheapest, strongest frames, he tried not to wear glasses at school, and it didn't matter at home.He wore stained baggy jeans and a rumpled T-shirt, and Ruth figured he must be sleeping in it, which I knew it was. When he saw Ruth standing at the door holding the paper bag from the supermarket, Ray stopped immediately. He reached for his glasses, but he didn't know what to do with them, so he waved to her and said, "Hi." Can you turn down the music a little bit?Ruth yelled.

certainly! Her ears rumbled for a moment after the music turned off, and for a brief moment she noticed Ray's eyes flicker. Ray stood on the other side of the room, separated from Ruth by his bed, the sheets in a messy mess, and beside it hung a portrait of me that Ruth had drawn from memory. You hang it up.Ruth said. I think this painting is really good.Ray said. Only you and I think so, no one else thinks so. My mom thought it was pretty good too. She's hot, said Ruth, putting down the paper bag, no wonder you're so weird. what's in the bag Candles, said Ruth, I bought them at the supermarket, today is the sixth of December. I know. I thought maybe we'd go out and light a candle in the cornfield and say goodbye to her. How many times are you going to say goodbye to her? I'm just thinking about it, Ruth said: I'll go myself. No, Ray said: I'll go with you. Ruth, in her snowsuit, sat down while Ray changed into his shirt.He turned his back to her, and she looked at his back, thinking that although he was thin, the muscles in his arms were well developed, and his complexion was the same as his mother's, much better looking than her own pale skin. We can kiss on the lips if you want.Ruth said. He turned and smiled, already enjoying the experiment and not thinking of me when he kissed, but he couldn't let Ruth know. He liked the way she cursed people, and also liked her intelligence.Lei's father is a doctor, and Ruth's father can only repair old houses. Although she said that a doctor is not a doctor and nothing special, she is still quite envious, and the rows of books in Singer's house make her even more envious. No end, she very much hopes to have such a collection of books in her home. He came over and sat on the bed with her. You take off your snow suit. She took off her snow suit. In this way, on the day of my death for a year, Ray pressed against Ruth, and they kissed.Kissing and kissing, Ruth suddenly stopped and looked at Lei, damn it, she said: I thought I felt something! Ray and Ruth came quietly to the cornfield. Ray held Ruth's hand. She didn't know if it was because they were here together to mourn me or because he liked her.Her thoughts were in turmoil, and her usual intuition was useless. She suddenly saw other people, obviously she wasn't the only one thinking of me.Brothers Hall and Samuel stood in the cornfield with their hands in their pockets, their backs to her, and Ruth saw yellow daffodils on the ground. Did you bring the daffodils?Ruth asked Samuel. No, Hall helped his brother answer: We saw flowers when we came. Mrs. Steady looked up from her son's room, and after a while she put on her coat and walked over to the cornfield.She didn't know whether it was right to do so, or whether she should go, these were not questions she could answer. Grace.Tarkin was walking near the house, and she saw Mrs. Steady coming out of the house with a poinsettia plant. They stood in the street talking for a while, and Grace said she had to go home first, and then go to join everyone later. Grace made two calls home, one to her boyfriend, who lived not far from here in a more affluent area, and the other to the Gilberts.The Gilberts' puppies were the first to find the evidence that I had been killed, and even a year later, the story still haunts the family.The Gilberts were getting old, and it was inconvenient for the two elderly people to walk into the rugged cornfield by themselves, so Grace offered to go with them, and Mr. Gilbert immediately agreed, and he told Grace.Tarkin said they must go, and his wife would feel at ease.He was always thinking of his wife to hide his pain, but now I could see his sadness.They had considered giving the dog to someone else, but the puppy brought so much happiness to the couple that he was really reluctant to part with it. Ray used to run errands for the Gilberts, who liked him a lot and thought he was being misunderstood.Mr. Gilbert wasn't sure if Ray knew they were going to the cornfields, so he called the Singers' house, and Luanna said her son had probably gone, and she herself would be there later. Lindsay stood by the window and looked out, she saw Grace.Tarkin took Mrs. Gilbert's arm, Grace's boyfriend supported Mr. Gilbert, and the four of them walked across the lawn of the Eutrative home. Mom, there's something wrong in the cornfield.she says. Mom was reading Molière's novels. She had read Molière's works a lot in college, but she hadn't touched his novels since graduation.Beside her is a stack of novels by Sartre, Colette, Proust, and Flaubert. It was because of these novels in college that everyone thought she was avant-garde.She recently removed the books from her bedroom shelf and promised herself to reread them this year. I'm not interested, she said to Lindsay: But I'm sure your father will want to go and have a look when he comes back.Why don't you go upstairs and play with your brother? Linxi has been very obedient for a while, no matter what her mother says, Linxi is obedient.She believed that her mother must have some feelings under her cold appearance, so she decided to stay with her mother.She sat on the chair next to her mother, quietly watching the neighbors outside the window. The latecomers had the foresight to bring candles, and by nightfall they lit up the cornfields, and everyone I knew or sat next to me from grade school to junior high seemed to be there.Mr. Burt was preparing for the anatomy experiment the next day. When he came out of school, he saw some movement in the cornfield. He walked over slowly to have a look. Once he found out why everyone gathered here, he immediately went back to school to make a few phone calls. .My death made a school secretary so sad that she came to the cornfields with her son, and some teachers who hadn't been at the school-sponsored memorial service were now joining us. Rumors of Mr. Harvey's involvement had spread throughout the community on Thanksgiving night, and neighbors were buzzing.By noon the next day, the matter had become the only talking point in the neighbourhood.Is it really possible?That quiet, a little strange man might have murdered Suzie.Salmon?Neighbors were suspicious, but no one dared to come to my house and ask for details.Over the past week, my friend's cousin or the father of the little boy who mowed our lawn has been the subject of intense questioning, and adulation has been widespread for anyone who might have knowledge of the progress of the police investigation.In a way, everyone gathered in the cornfield not just to mourn me, but to comfort each other.It's chilling to think that a murderer lives in the same neighborhood as the guys who meet him on the street, who buys Girl Scout cookies from little girls and magazines from little boys. More and more people gathered in the cornfield, and I became more and more excited to see it in heaven.Everyone lit the candles, and Mr. Eugene vaguely remembered a ballad like an elegy that his grandfather sang. He took the lead in humming softly. Her melodious singing voice is added to the treble.Luana stood stiffly on the periphery, far away from her son. She was about to go out when she received a call from her husband. Dr. Singer said that he would sleep in the office tonight and would not go home for the night, but the husbands of other families in the community kept going. They come here with their neighbors after work. How can they make money to support their families while making sure that nothing happens to their children?The fathers in the community know that no matter how careful they are, what happened to me can still happen to their children. No one calls my house, no one wants to disturb my family.My woodpile, chimney, driveway, and fence were covered in a transparent layer of frost, impenetrable like trees in a sudden drop in temperature after a rain.Although my house looked like everyone else on the street, everyone knew that something was wrong with the Salmon family.Behind the gate, the word murder stained the facade red, and no one could imagine what happened in the house. As the sun sets, the sky is gradually stained with a layer of rose-like pastels.At this time, Linxi finally understood why everyone gathered in the cornfield, but her mother never took her eyes off the book. They were mourning Suzie in the field, and Lindsay said: Listen.She opened the window, and a cold December wind blew in front of her, and faint singing came from a distance. Mom managed to pull herself together and said: We've already held a memorial service, and I think it's over. What's over? Mom rested her elbows on the armrests of the sofa, and she leaned forward a little, so that Lindsay couldn't see the expression on her face so the light couldn't see her face.I don't believe she's there waiting for us, and I don't think that lighting candles or anything like that will honor Suzie, that we can remember her in other ways. For example what?Lindsey said she was sitting cross-legged on the rug in front of her mother, who was sitting on the couch, holding the Molière novel and pressing her finger over the page she had just read. I don't want to just be a mother. Lindsey felt she understood what her mother had to say, and she didn't want to be just a girl. Mom put the novel back on the coffee table, and she leaned forward, onto the edge of the sofa, and sank down on the rug.I was amazed to see that Mom never sat on the floor, she always sat at the bill-paying desk, in the armchair with the back, or huddled in the corner of the sofa with Halliday. She took Lindsay's hand. Are you going to leave us?Lindsay asked. Mom kept trembling, the answer was clear, but how could she say it?She had to lie: I promise never to leave you. She really wanted to return to her carefree youth.She wants to go back to work in the china gift shop, hiding with her broken Wedgwood mug, secretly hoping the manager won't find her.She had dreamed of being like Simon.Bova lives in Paris like Saudi, how she wishes she was still the girl full of dreams.She remembered the first time she met Jack, and after get off work that day, she couldn't help laughing at the thought of the silly boy.Although he hated other people smoking, he was quite cute. When she told him that the cafes in Paris were always full of smoke, he seemed quite moved.They had sex for the first time when she invited him over to her house towards the end of the summer.She's a virgin, he's a virgin, and when she's done she takes out a cigarette, and he jokes that he wants one too, and she hands him a blue porcelain cup with a broken handle that she broke as an ashtray Wedgwood cup, which she secretly took home hidden in her coat, she described the whole process vividly, telling hype. Come closer, baby.Mother said, Linxi obeyed obediently, she pressed her back to her mother's chest, and her mother held her and rocked gently on the carpet, her posture seemed a little unnatural.Lindsey, you've done such a good job, your dad can't survive without you.As soon as the words were finished, they heard Dad's car pull into the driveway. Lindsey leaned in her mother's arms, and her mother thought of Luana standing in the backyard smoking a cigarette. The sweet smell of Dunhills cigarettes disappeared at the end of the road, and my mother's thoughts drifted away.The last boyfriend she had before she met her father liked to smoke Gauloises. She thought he was putting on airs and nothing special, but he was always concerned about the country and the people, which made her put on a serious look. Mom, did you see the candle?Lindsay asked, staring out the window. Go find your dad.Mom said. Lindsey went to the door to find her father, who was hanging up his coat and keys, and said they would go, of course they must. dad!The little brother yelled on the second floor, and Dad and Linxi went up to the second floor to find him. You decide.Dad said Buckley was running around Dad excitedly. I don't want to protect him anymore, Lindsay said: We shouldn't hide it from him anymore, it's too unrealistic.Suzy was dead, he knew it. The younger brother looked up at Linxi. Everyone helped Susie hold a party, and Lindsay said: Me and Dad are going to take you. Is mom sick?Buckley asked. Lindsey didn't want to lie to him, and besides, she felt that in some way, her mother was sick. Yes, mom is sick. Lindsay said she took Buckley to his room to change, and then went downstairs to meet his father. do you knowI can see her.Lindsey looked down at him, Buckley said. She came to talk to me, and she came to accompany me when you were practicing. Lindsay didn't know what to say, so she just picked him up and hugged him tightly in her arms, and Buckley often hugged Halliday like this. You are so special!She said to her younger brother: No matter what happens, I will always be by your side. Dad walked downstairs slowly, his left hand clutching the wooden handrail, and he didn't let go until he reached the stairs on the first floor. The sound of papa's heavy footsteps was getting closer, and mama took the Molière novel and hid in the dining room so that papa could not see her.She stood in the corner of the restaurant and continued to read, far away from her family.She heard the door open and close, just as she expected. Not far from where I was killed, my neighbors, teachers, relatives and friends chose a place to form a circle.Dad, Lindsey, and Buckley heard singing as soon as they went out. Dad only wanted to fly to the warm candlelight. He really hoped that I would live in everyone's hearts, and that everyone would always remember me.I looked at everyone and suddenly knew that everyone was saying goodbye to me tonight.I'm one of many little girls who never come back, and when the party is over and they come home, they will rest me in their hearts like an old letter that will never be opened or taken out again reread.I have said goodbye to everyone, I bless you, and bless you in the dark, from now on, you will never think of me again.In the future, only in some special moments, such as running into old friends on the street, recovering precious things, strangers waving to them with a smile from a distant window, or cute children making faces at them, everyone Only then will I be remembered. Ruth was the first to see my family, and she tugged at Raleigh's sleeve and said, go and help him.Ray, who had seen my dad at the beginning of the investigation, listened to Ruth and moved in his direction.Samuel also came over. Like a young pastor, they led my family into the crowd. Everyone gave up a space for them, and the surrounding became more and more quiet. Other than driving to and from get off work or sitting in the backyard, Dad didn't go out and see the neighbors for months.At this time, he inspected the faces of his neighbors one by one, and finally realized that I was loved by everyone, even people he didn't know cared about me.His heart was suddenly filled with warmth. He hadn't felt this way for a long time. In the past few days, except for Barkley, no one could bring him warmth. Only during the short moments when father and son were together, did he feel a little warmth in his heart. He looked at Mr. Eugene and said, "Stan, Suzie used to stand by the window in the summer and listen to you singing in the backyard. She likes your singing very much. Can you sing a song for us?" While no one expected to be honored on such an occasion, where people usually mourned for a loved one by singing, Mr. Eugene took his father's request as a rare honor.He sang loudly, his voice was a little trembling at first, but his voice immediately became clear and melodious. The crowd also sang loudly. I remember those summer days my father talked about, and I often wondered why it was getting dark so late, and I hoped that it would be cooler after dark.Sometimes I stand by the window of the porch, and there is a breeze outside the window, and the singing of the Eutreo family comes along with the breeze. I listen to Mr. Eugene singing Irish folk songs, and the breeze carries a faint smell of earth, The air was getting humid too, which I knew meant a heavy thunderstorm was coming. At this time, the home seemed rare and quiet. Linxi was sitting on the old sofa in her room studying hard, Dad was reading in the study, and Mom was doing needlework or washing dishes downstairs. I like to change into my long nightgown and run out to the back balcony, with big raindrops on the roof and the breeze blowing in through the screened doors, blowing the nightgown against me.The fresh air has a hint of warmth, which makes people feel refreshed physically and mentally. A flash of lightning flashed across the sky, followed by rumbling thunder. At that moment, my mother went to the screen door of the balcony and warned, as usual: If you don't come in, you will have a bad cold.After speaking, it became quiet, and we listened to the heavy rain pouring down together, and there were bursts of thunder in the distance, and the breath of the earth gradually enveloped us. You look courageous, as if you are not afraid of anything.Mom said one night. I think so too, I love these mother-daughter moments, and I turn to her, wrap myself tightly in my nightgown and say: I am not afraid of anything.