Chapter 23 Chapter Twenty Two

Ruth passed out on the floor, I knew that; Mr. Harvey went away quietly, no one saw him, cared about him, or asked him to go, but I didn't know that. I fell and fell limply and completely lost my balance.I fell from the large balcony of Paradise Square to the lawn outside, and rolled all the way to the farthest edge of Paradise. I heard Ray yelling above me, his voice rumbling in my ears.Ruth, how are you?After speaking, he put his arms around Ruth. Ruth, Ruth, he yelled: What's wrong with you? I looked up through Ruth's eyes, and I could feel her back on the ground, the cuts in her clothes, the sharp little stones scratching her skin.Not only that, but I felt the warmth of the sun, smelled the asphalt, and all my senses seemed to come alive, except for Ruth.

I heard Ruth breathing hard, she was a little dizzy but breathing normally, Ray was very tense, he squatted next to Ruth, his gray eyes opened and closed, he looked up to see if he could find someone to help , but not half a person was seen on the road.He didn't see Mr. Harvey's car. He had helped his mother pick a bouquet of wild flowers. He happily came out from the other side of the waste mound with wild flowers in his arms, but unexpectedly found Ruth lying on the ground. Ruth's soul was desperately trying to get out of her body, and I was trapped in the same body as hers, and we were pushing together, both trying to get out of the body.I tried my best to tell her not to do this, but she still insisted on leaving. It was useless for me to say anything. She had made up her mind and no one could stop her.I watched her fly to the sky. I have seen so many souls floating to the sky in heaven these years, but now I am in the mortal world, and Ruth’s figure is blurred. I can only feel her urgency and anger , she just wanted to float to heaven.

Ruth, Ray said: Ruth, can you hear me? Ruth closed her eyes, and I took advantage of the confusion to take another quick look at Ray. His gray eyes, his dark skin, and the lips I had kissed, I wanted to remember everything about him.Suddenly, as if someone had turned a locked doorknob, Rose was free from her body and floated past Ray. Ray nervously begged me to move, and instead of just looking at him, I felt an inexplicable desire. I have returned to the human world again, and I no longer have to look at him pitifully in the sky. He is beside me alive. This feeling is really sweet. I passed Ruth in the blue world of yin and yang, I fell from heaven to earth, and she flew past me like lightning, but I couldn't see her form, nor was she a ghost, Ruth This smart girl, she broke all the rules.

At this moment, I am stationed in her body. I heard Fernie calling me from heaven, and she was running to the balcony calling my name, and Halladi was screaming so loudly that he could barely stop.All of a sudden, the voices of Fernie and Halliday disappeared, and there was a sudden silence around me. I felt someone hug me and lie down, someone held my hand. My ears were like the sea, and all the familiar voices and faces disappeared. float in it.I opened my eyes for the first time in the time since I passed away, and I saw a pair of gray eyes staring back at me. I lay straight and felt something pressing on me. After a while , I just knew it was Ray.

I try to talk. Don't rush to talk, Ray said: What happened? I'm dead, I want to tell him that I'm dead; but how do you tell a person: I'm dead, but now I'm back in the world? Ray was on his knees, and the wildflowers he'd helped Runa pick were scattered around him and on me.I could make out bright oval petals against Ruth's black dress.Ray bent down and put his ear to my chest, listening to my breathing, and he put his finger on my wrist to check my pulse. Did you pass out?He asked me after these checks. I nodded. I knew I couldn't stay in the mortal world forever, and my good luck couldn't last. Although Ruth's wish had been fulfilled, it wouldn't last long.

I think I'm fine.I tried to answer, but I spoke so quietly that Ray couldn't hear me.I stared at him wide-eyed, something forced me to my feet, I felt as if I was going to float up, back to the heaven I knew, but I just tried to stand up. Ruth, Ray said: If you feel weak, don't move, I can carry you back to the car. I gave him a big smile and said: I'm fine. Ray watched me carefully, momentarily letting go of my arm but still holding on to my other hand.He helped me stand up, and the wild flowers on my body were scattered on the ground.Ruth.Conness had come to heaven, and as soon as she appeared, the women scattered rose petals on her.

I saw a surprised smile on his handsome face, ah, are you all right?He said.He cautiously approached me, close enough to kiss me, but said he just wanted to check my pupils to see if they were the same size. I felt the weight of Ruth's body, her breasts and thighs bouncing up and down, and it felt sexy, but it was no small burden.I am a soul returning to the mortal world, a deserter temporarily away from heaven, thank God for giving me this rare opportunity.I stood up by willpower, as straight as I could. Ruth? I'm trying to get myself used to the name, huh?I answer. You have changed, he said: You seem to be different.

We're almost in the middle of the road, but I don't care, this moment is mine, I want to tell him the truth, but what can I say?Can I say I'm Suzie and I only have this little time?I can't say it. kiss Me.Instead of telling the truth, I made such a request. What? don't you want to kiss meI put my hand over his face, and his beard is a little prickly, which wasn't the case eight years ago. what's wrong with youhe asked suspiciously. Sometimes it was reported in the newspaper that the kitten fell from the tenth floor and was on all fours when it landed. Some people believed it was true because they read the news.

Ray looked at me in bewilderment for a moment, then bent down and kissed me.His cold lips pressed against mine, and he kissed me tenderly, as if kissing the depths of my heart.I finally stole another kiss, which is really the most precious gift God gave me.His eyes were so close together, they had a green gleam in their gray eyes. I took his hand and the two walked back to the car quietly.I knew he was walking behind me, tugging at my arm as he walked, and he was scrutinizing Ruth to make sure she was all right. He opened the door for me and I slid in, put my feet in the carpeted car, and he walked over to the driver's seat, got in, and watched me carefully again.

What's wrong?I asked. He kissed my lips softly again, I have been waiting for this moment for so long, time seems to slow down, I am completely intoxicated by it.His lips brushed mine lightly, and the beard tickled me.Ah, and the sound when we kissed: first we pecked lightly, then pressed our lips firmly together, the lips touched each other with a small sound, and finally parted with a pop, I really like the sound of such intimacy.Over the years, I have watched mortals hug and caress in heaven, and I have only felt more alone.I died before I could feel such intimate caresses. Only Mr. Harvey touched me, but there was nothing gentle in those big, cruel hands.After going to heaven, Lei's kiss accompanied me like moonlight, flickering in my heart from time to time.For some reason, Ruth understood my thoughts.

Thinking of this, my head suddenly throbbed. Yes, I was indeed hiding in Ruth's body, but the girl Lei Kissed was not Ruth, but me.I wanted to hold his hand, I wanted him to kiss me, those were my wants, not Ruth's wishes.So, was I the one who pushed her out of this body earlier?I could see Harley, she tilted her head and smiled at me; I could also hear Harold's pitiful cry, as if she was reluctant to return to the world. where do you want to goRay asked. It's a big question, and I can give thousands of answers.I looked at Ray, and it was clear to me why I had come back; the reason I was here was not to track down Mr. Harvey, but to fulfill a dream that I had never had a chance to realize before. I want to go to Hall.Hankel's garage.I said, quite firmly. What? It was you who asked me where I wanted to go.I said. Ruth? Um? can i kiss you again good.I blushed when I heard that. He leans in as the engine heats up, and our lips touch again; Ruth in heaven, speaking to a group of elderly people in flat hats and black turtlenecks holding up glowing lighters , whispering Ruth's name like a song. After a while, Ray sat back in the driver's seat and stared at me, what's wrong?he asked. When you kissed me, I saw heaven.I said. What is heaven like? Everyone's paradise is different. I want to know the details, he smiled and said: Tell the truth. Make love to me, I said: I'll tell you. Who are you?he asked, but I could tell he wasn't quite sure what he was asking. The car's engine is hot.I said. He puts his hand on the shiny gear lever and hits the road.We looked like a pair of ordinary men and women, the golden sunlight sprinkled on the road, he turned skillfully, and a piece of broken mica stone shone brightly. We drove to the end of Fleet Road, and I pointed to the dirt track that led to the other end of the road, from where we could drive down to the railroad. They must rebuild this section of road as soon as possible.He said while driving that the car rushed through a piece of rubble, and then drove into a dirt path. The railway in front of the path connects the two cities of Philadelphia and Harrisburg. The houses along the railway have long been dilapidated. The family moved away long ago, and the neighborhood has become an industrial site. Do you plan to stay here after graduation?I asked. Nobody's going to stay here, Ray said: You know that. I heard a throbbing pain in my heart. If I was still alive, how many choices would I have?I can leave home and redevelop somewhere else, wherever I want.But I changed my mind: Is it the same in heaven?Do I have to let go too before I can roam around? We drove to Hall's garage, and there was a small patch of cleared road next to the garage, and Ray turned off the engine and parked the car here. why do you want to come hereRay asked. remember?I said: We said we would come out to explore. I took him to the back of the garage, then I reached for the door, and after a while I found the key hidden there. How do you know the key is hidden here? I have seen many people hide keys, and I said: You can know whatever you want. Inside was exactly as I remembered it, with the smell of motorcycle gasoline in the air. I want to take a shower, you can just sit down.I said. I walked over to the bed and turned on the light switch, and a row of small light bulbs hanging on Hall's bed flickered. Apart from that, there was only a gray light and shadow in the room, which was cast through the small window at the back. where are you goingRay asked: How do you know about this place?His tone was quite urgent, full of anxiety that was not there just now. Ray, give me more time, I said: I will explain to you later. I went into the tiny bathroom, but didn't close the bathroom door all the way.I take off Ruth's clothes, turn on the tap and wait for the water to heat up, I wish Ruth could see me now, her body is perfect, I look at this vibrant body, I wish Ruth knew How beautiful I am. The bathroom was very humid and had a musty smell. There was nothing in the bathtub, and the water from the faucet had flowed into the bathtub for years, leaving dark yellow water stains in the bathtub.I stepped into this old-fashioned four-legged bathtub, stood under the shower head, and even with the water turned up to high, I was still cold.I yelled Ray's name and asked him to come in. I can still see you through the shower curtain.He looked away as he spoke. It doesn't matter, I said: I like to let you see.Take off your clothes and come in and take a shower with me. Suzy, he said: You know I'm not that kind of person. My heart twists into a ball, what did you say?I asked, and Hall hung a piece of transparent white cloth on the bathtub as a shower curtain. Through the shower curtain, Lei's figure was blurred, surrounded by thousands of small light spots. I said I am not that kind of person. You call me Suzie. He was silent for a moment, then drew back the shower curtain, carefully resting his eyes on my face. Suzy? come in.I said, tears gradually filling my eyes, please, please come in. I closed my eyes and waited quietly.I turned my head and stood under the shower head, hot water running over my cheeks, nape, chest, stomach and groin.After a while, I heard him undressing fumblingly, his belt buckle thumping on the concrete floor, and the change in his pocket dropped all over the place. When I was a child, my parents drove me and I sat in the back seat. Sometimes I like to close my eyes and lie down and wait for the car to stop. I know that when the car stops, it means we are home. I also know that my parents will definitely pull me up and hug me. I go inside.I trust my parents and know that my waiting will never be in vain.At this moment, I waited for Lei to come over with the same mood. Ray opened the shower curtain, and I turned to face him, slowly opening my eyes, and I shivered involuntarily as a gust of cold wind blew between my legs. come in.I said. He stepped into the bathtub slowly. He didn't touch me at first. After a while, he hesitated to touch a small scar on my body. We watched his fingers slide down the long and thin scar together. Ruth was injured playing volleyball in 1975.I said, my body began to shiver from the cold again. You are not Ruth.He said with a puzzled look. I took the hand that had touched the end of the scar and put it under my left breast. I watched you two for years and I said: I want to have sex with you. He wanted to speak, but what he wanted to say was so strange that he couldn't say it.He strokes my nipple with his thumb and I pull his head towards mine, his lips covering mine.The hot water flowed over our bodies, splashing the sparse chest hair between his chest and abdomen.I wanted to see Ruth and Halle, and wondered if they could see me, so I kissed Ray.In the rush of water, I can cry all I want, and Ray kisses the tears away from my face, and he will never know why I cry. I explored his body with my hands, stroking every part of his body, I wrapped my palms around his elbows, my fingers gently tugged at his body hair, I remembered Mr. Harvey had forced his way into me, At this moment, I held Lei's part, first whispered in my heart to be gentle, and the word "man" suddenly appeared in my mind. thunder? I don't know what to call you? Suzie. I put my finger on his lips to stop him from asking.Remember the note you wrote me?Remember when you said you were a Moor? We stood quietly for a while, and I watched the drops of water slide down his shoulders, drop by drop. He picked me up without a word and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he turned off the water and propped himself up on the edge of the tub and I wrapped my hands around him tightly as he entered me cheek, kissing him desperately with all his might. After a full minute, he turned away from me and said, "Tell me what heaven is like." Heaven is like high school sometimes, I said breathlessly: I didn’t make it to high school, but in my heaven I could light a campfire in my classroom or shout in the hallway.But heaven doesn’t always have to be like this, it can be Nova Scotia in Canada, Tangier in Morocco or Tibet, heaven is just like your dream place. is ruth there Ruth is speaking in heaven now, but she'll be back in a while. Can you see yourself in heaven now? No, I'm here now.I said. But you just wait and go. I couldn't lie to him, so I just nodded and said: I think so, yes, Ray, I'll leave after a while. We were passionate again, and we made love again and again in the water, in the bedroom, under the dim light like starlight.When he was done, he lay down and rested, and I kissed every muscle, every mole, every spot on his back along his spine. don't go.He said, slowly closing those jewel-bright eyes, I knew he was about to fall asleep. My name is Suzie, and I whispered: my surname is Salmon, which sounds like salmon in English.I lay my head on his chest and fell asleep beside him. When I opened my eyes, there was a dark red outside the window, and I could feel that there was not much time left.The outside world is full of life. I have watched the human world for so long, and I can't believe that I am back in the human world now.I know I don't want to go anywhere but here, I just want to stay in this little room and experience what it's like to be in love all over again. I left the world in helplessness. Although I also felt helpless at this time, it was quite different from the mood before I died. I now know that everyone has a moment of vulnerability. We walk by our feelings and feel as we go, and there will always be a ray of light at the end of the road.Life is full of unknowns, helplessness and fragility are part of life and a process towards the future. Ruth's body was getting weaker and weaker. I propped up an arm and ran my fingers over Ray's face. Ray, have you ever thought about dead people? He blinked at me. Don't forget I was in medical school.He said. I'm not talking about dead bodies, diseases, or organ failure, I'm saying have you ever thought about what Ruth said, like, Ruth saw me. Sometimes I think about what she said, he said: But I never quite believed it. You know, Ruth and I are here, and I say: We've been here.You can talk to me and miss me without being afraid or sad. can i touch you againHe lifted the sheet from his lap and sat up straight. At this moment, I saw a blurry shadow standing on the other side of the bed, and I wanted to convince myself that it was just a shadow in the sun, it was just an illusion, and it would disappear after a while.But when Ray reached out to touch me, I didn't feel it at all. Ray moved closer to me and kissed my shoulder softly, but I still didn't feel anything.I pinched my body under the sheet, but still felt nothing.A vague shadow began to form by the bed, and Ray slid out of bed, stood up, and I saw that the room was full of men and women. thunder.Ray walked to the bathroom, and I wanted to say to him before he left: I'm going to miss you, don't go, or thank you. Um? You must read Ruth's diary. I definitely will.He said. Through the gradually forming ghost figure beside the bed, I saw him smiling at me, he turned and walked into the bathroom, his handsome back disappeared in front of my eyes, but his memory will always remain in my heart. A hazy layer of moisture gradually rose in the bathroom, and I walked slowly towards the desk where Hall kept the bills, and the figure of Ruth came to my mind again.Since the day she saw me in the parking lot, Ruth had been dreaming of magical moments like today, how could I not see it?I only cared about my own dreams. When I was alive, I hoped to be a wildlife photographer when I grew up, to win an Oscar when I was in the third year of high school, and to kiss Ray again after I died.Singer once.You see, our dreams have come to fruition. I saw a phone on the table. I picked up the receiver and dialed my home phone number without thinking. It was as if I had a combination lock. As soon as my hand touched the button, I immediately knew the number to unlock it. After the phone rang three times, someone answered it. Hello? Hello, Buckley.I say hello. Which one is it? It's me, Suzie. Who? Suzy, I'm your big sister Suzy. I can't hear what you're saying.He said. I stared at the phone silently. After a while, I felt that the room was full of silent ghosts. There were children and adults. Who are you?Where are you from?I asked loudly, but there was still silence in the room. It was at this point that I noticed that I was sitting up straight and Ruth was lying prostrate by the table. Can you get me a towel?Ray turned off the faucet and yelled in the bathroom, he didn't hear my answer and waited a while before opening the shower curtain.I heard him step out of the bathtub, go to the door, he saw Ruth, rushed to her side, he touched her shoulder, she opened her eyes half asleep.They looked at each other and she didn't have to say anything, he knew I was gone. I remember being on a train with my parents, Lindsay, and Buckley once, we were sitting in the opposite direction of the train, and the train suddenly entered a dark tunnel, and it was the same feeling when we left the world again.I know where the terminal station is, and I have seen the scene disappearing outside the window thousands of times, but this time I am not thrown away, but someone is walking with me.I know we're going to be on a long journey together to a place very far away. Leaving the world is easier than returning to the world.I watched two old friends in the back of Hall's Garage, hugging each other in silence, neither of them knowing how to describe what had just happened.Ruth had never felt so tired, but she had never been so happy, and it was only when Ray came to himself that he thought about what had just happened and how it would change it.