Chapter 19 Chapter Eighteen

Estelle, how did you get here? Kamsky looked me in the eye.The movement of his lips seemed out of sync with the sound coming from him.Although he was only a few feet away from me, so close that I could even smell the coffee in his mouth, he seemed very far away, as if there was a layer of glass between me.I felt like a fish in an aquarium and he was staring at me from the other side of the glass.That's why I don't think it's necessary to answer him right away.All this is like a dream, but it is not a dream, but a fact, a fact that I must face. It's okay, he said, Estelle, take your time.We will find someone to talk to you about.Would you like some tea?Warm sweet hot tea?

He is out of my sight.I look around the house.There was a coffee mug on the mantelpiece, and the cupboard door was open.It seems that the owner has just stepped out of the door, but only for a few seconds, and wants to come back and drink the coffee before it gets cold, and then close the cupboard.She wasn't the type to put up with an open cupboard door.I saw a black coat, a woolen jacket, a boot, and a canvas bag in the cupboard door.Not much clothing, as most of her clothes were worn by other people and displayed in the streets of Hackney.A printed silk bathrobe and an open paperback book lie on the sofa.There was a cardboard box and several plastic bags on the floor.The suitcase contained dinner plates, a pitcher and a coffee pot.The bag contained sheets, towels and pillows.Rectangular lights and hooks that were originally used to hang photos can be seen on the walls.Now the photos are collected and placed against a wall.I can only see the outermost photo. In the frame, the man is wearing a suit and the woman is wearing a long dress. The two are looking at the camera with stiff expressions.her grandparents.Maybe great-grandparents.I don't know the names of my great-grandparents.They lived, married, had children, died, and fifty years later the great-granddaughter didn't even know their names.One of them seems to be called William?

Apartments are overcrowded these days. Do you know who I am?a man asked me. Yes, I said, you're Dr. Brashaw.Hal.Dr. Bradshaw.You are a psychiatrist. Very nice, Estelle.He said. It's coming so soon, I said, maybe you are like a firefighter? What?he asked. You got there so quickly, I said, I mean, it's like the firemen are going to put out the fire. There is a lady here, he said, she will take a sample from your hands with a cotton swab and send it to a laboratory test.May I? The woman bent over me.She was wearing a fawn sweater.She leaned forward, the crucifix from her necklace dangling from her neck.She grabbed my left hand and turned the palm up.I looked down.

Oh my god, I said, oh sorry.Oh my God. I have blood all over my hands.The woman wiped my hands with a cloth, and it felt cold.She put the cloth in a plastic bag and moved the cotton swab over my fingertips, almost itching.You don't mind?she asked; but before I could speak, she began examining my nails.Please don't move. She took out a shiny metal implement that looked like half a pair of tweezers and scraped under each nail for me.I felt like I had been cleaned and then descaled.Then she repeats the same steps with the other hand.As if by magic, Inspector Kamsky reappeared.Estelle, he said, did you see the murder weapon?

What? knife.next to the corpse.or on the table. I shake my head. Estelle, he raised his voice a little, as if I were in the depths of a cave or on top of a cliff.There's a policewoman here, Forest District Constable.We will hand you over to her, please take off your clothes later.All clothing, jewelry, and accessories are removed.We will prepare another outfit for you.do you understand? I flinched a little.The idea is scary.I don't want to change here, I said, I can't do it. Sorry, he said, it had to be done. The men walked out the door in embarrassment.The forest district police officer smiled slightly.Just call me Gina, she said, it was established procedure.Just take off your clothes and put on new clothes, and you'll be rewarded with a cup of tea.

I look around.Could you please close the curtains? I have no right to touch anything, she said, don't worry.No one will see it. Female police officer Gina.Woods spread out what looked like a polyethylene laundry bag.I kick off my shoes and pull off my socks.Then take off the bright yellow T-shirt over your head. A little sweaty, I said, I just rode the bike for hours. She puts on the surgical gloves first, then picks up my clothes.As if I was infected by something.Maybe I'm really infected.These will be returned to you.she says. I rolled the black biker shorts off my legs and handed them to her, then I reached for the sweatpants.

Sorry, there is more.she says. Oh man, I said, you're not serious, are you? I unbutton my bra and pull it off my arms.Then pull the panties down, around the feet.I stood naked in this horrible place while I waited for her to put my underwear into the other, smaller bag.Then, the forest police officer began to rummage through the bag that looked like a postman, and finally handed me a pair of gray-blue underwear. I won't ask you who wears these.I said. Clothes are 100% clean.Woods said. I put on my panties. I'm afraid there's no bra in it, she said, handing me a white T-shirt.After I put it on, I put on a blue sweatshirt and red sweatpants.

She fumbled in another bag and handed me balled socks and a pair of black canvas sneakers. It just so happens that I'm collecting fancy dresses.I said sarcastically. What are you talking about? It's fine. We don't know what size your shoes are, but they will send you home.Sorry, Estelle, I still need your earrings, necklace and ring. Immediately I undid my earrings and the blue bead necklace I had bought last summer at the Condon Lock Market.I may have to keep the ring.It was given to me by my boyfriend when I was nineteen years old.I never let go. If there is a problem, we can send someone to amputate your fingers.

alright.I said. I tugged hard but couldn't pull at my knuckles, so I licked my fingers and kept pulling until the knuckles gave way with tears in my eyes and the ring came loose.I can't help but wonder: Where is ex-boyfriend Tom now?After I handed over the ring, it felt like everything that made me who I was was taken away.I put on my canvas sneakers.The size turned out to be just right. You'll get a receipt, Woods said, and the clothes will be returned in due course. When Kamsky and Bradshaw returned to the house, I thought they would tease me about my ridiculous outfit, but I didn't expect both of them to look serious.Kamsky nodded to Bradshaw, as if hinting at some plan the two of them had planned in advance.Kamsky handed me a cup of tea.I don't know where the tea is brewed.Could it be in her kitchen?I took a sip and flinched.

Drink it, said Kamsky, leaning over me like a parent coaxing a young child, and I've seen people pass out like that.Some tea will do you good. A part of me resisted.It's too British.No matter what kind of dilemma a natural disaster, a crime scene, or a tragic air raid just needs a cup of hot tea and you'll be fine.But I was really weak and confused, so I resignedly sipped the loathsome drink, giving myself time to think and gather myself together.Every time I stopped, Kamsky nodded at me, urging me to keep drinking; I took another swig, drained the mug, and handed it to him like a good boy.He nodded to Blaishaw across the way, and Blashaw nodded in return.

How do you feel now?he asked. Better, I said, I was a little startled.well, you know Yes, he said, we know.Do you feel dizzy, nauseated, or unwell? I'm fine. Do you know where this is?he asked. what do you mean?I said, of course I know. Excuse me, he said, but I have to ask some stupid-sounding questions.I have to assess your situation to see if you are fit for an inquest.So, do you know who we are? Probably know.I said. No, seriously.Do you know who we are? I know. He looked across at Kamsky. what do you think?He talked directly to Bradshaw, almost treating me as air. Shouldn't be a problem, said Brashaw, but I'd better be there. All right.Kamsky said.He looked at a police officer standing by the door.You can invite Frank in. The officer walked out the door, and Kamsky and Bradshaw waited quietly until a man came in.He wore a gray suit, was a few years older than Kamsky, and was balding on the crown, with silver-gray hair cut short.He stared at Kamsky blankly, then moved his eyes to me. Estelle, Kamsky said, this is the Chief Inspector, Frank.McBride. Hello.I said. McBride didn't answer, just stared down at me. It's an emergency, Kamsky said, and you can understand that. I understand. But let me remind you that you have the right to have a lawyer present. Why hire a lawyer? I also warn you that everything you say will be used as evidence in court. Of course, I said, otherwise what would I do? That's right.Kamsky said with a smile.He stole a glance at McBride, then back to me.I'm afraid you'll have to make more statements this time.We'll take you back to the bureau, there will be tapes, lawyers will be in attendance, and there's a lot of red tape that drags on and on. I've started to get used to some of these things.I said. They exchanged a few more glances.Kamsky spoke with a troubled face.What we're trying to say, Estelle, is that if you have something to say, it's better to say it now. I don't understand, I said.what do you mean? I'll try to be as blunt as possible, Kamsky said, forensic experts are thoroughly searching the scene.We will definitely find out the truth of what happened.Leah.Peterson's body was still lying ten meters away from where we spoke.So wouldn't it be nice of you to tell the truth and bring the whole thing to an end? I really thought I'd lost consciousness of everything; but now something he said, it dawned on me.It's like a bruise that's just taking shape, but keeps getting bumped. I don't understand your question, I said dully, and I really think you should get straight to the point. Stop messing around, Kamsky said, and the police will launch a massive, watertight investigation.And that's just an appetizer.If you have something crucial to offer, now may be the best time.If you have anything to do with the murder, get wind of it, or suspect anything, Estelle, I assure you, it's the best time to do it now. Are you crazy?I said, I called the police.Do you think I have something to do with this nightmare? Kamsky looked across at McBride and shrugged resignedly, as if asking for help.McBride grabbed a dining chair, dragged it over, and sat down in front of me. Well, we do think so.He said.He has a slight Scottish accent.Have you seen the dead body? I was the one who called the police. But have you looked at it carefully? Listen to me talking and raising my hands up.McBride lowered his face. For heaven's sake, he said, why did such a stupid thing happen to me? I've already been sampled and sent for testing. I am not referring to this.Anyway, Leah.Does the state of Peterson's body remind you of anything? With Ingrid.De.Soto's body was alike.You can tell just by looking at it.What do you want me to say? McBride took a small notebook out of his pocket and stared at it. Then why are you here? I'm here to pick up the package. Miss Belle, people won't ask you to pick up packages anymore.They'll start treating you like a plague god. I said nothing. Are you not surprised to be notified to pick up the package at the apartment where an acquaintance lives? I didn't know she lived here. Is this the address of your ex-boyfriend's fiancee? right. Chief Inspector Kamsky called your office again.Now your colleagues are used to receiving calls from him.The Chief Inspector wants to see the paper records of the transaction.Too bad they don't have archives at all. Sometimes we make extra money, I say, off the books.This is good for everyone. Not really, said McBride, but why did you pick it up? It is specially assigned by the company. Is this unusual? That's right.But Campbell seems to say that the housekeeper is very afraid of boys coming to the house or something.I think you'll have to ask him that yourself. Rest assured, we will.Kamsky said grimly. A lengthy silence followed. Miss Belle, McBride has finally spoken, is there anything else you want to tell us?Speaking up now could save us a lot of trouble. I can not understand what you say.I said. McBride glanced at Kamsky, then at me.Well, he said, let me put it this way.How would you describe you and Leah.Peterson relationship?