Chapter 4 Excerpted from Jeremiah.Jeremiah, the master of the Musgrove Chinese Circus.Musgrove's Journal

May 28, 1954 Biography of the Stranger Miss Chicken Hester.Lester left the regiment on the night of August 9, 1944.Her story started out tragically, with loose skin and sagging flesh from birth.The reason why this petite lady can be our Miss Chicken is not only because she wears a leather jacket that is too big, but also because there is a piece of skin hanging from her chin, which looks like a chicken, and her eyebrows cover her eyes, making her eyes look like chickens It looks small.She has a big ass and a stooped back, and her whole body is perfect for the job.She was ostracized by the world outside, but here she is a perfect performer, very popular, she found a home here, everyone loves her, especially the fat boy Bob in the group.Mr Simon.His skin also sagged, of course, but honestly he wasn't fat enough to be worthy of the fat boy's title.Sometimes there are people in the audience who are fatter than him, which is disappointing and embarrassing.They left the same night and we had a farewell party.Human souls are filled with hope because of love, and their hope is to live a normal life.Maybe they've got their wish, but I'm not optimistic.Hester's optimism in the face of adversity has always been our model, and we will miss her, but not so much Barber.

Saubi.Cates, the needle stickman of the regiment, is nowhere to be found, but he is rumored to have died near Lexington, Kentucky, on a cold December night.Schaubi was born without the ability to feel, so he agreed to be stabbed, cut, nailed, sawed, and pinched.He accepts all the evil deeds those black-hearted ordinary people can think of, with only one proviso: what he had before the performance started, he must have nothing less by the end of the performance.Otherwise, if you are missing an eye, you can use the eye to return it, and if you are missing a toe, you can use the toe to replace it.Shaobi was really weird, he didn't even know that he was bleeding, and he couldn't notice that he was injured.We picked as many sexy girls as we could, dressed up in sex-shop nurse outfits, and acted by his side to take care of him, with a real (as real as everything here) doctor in the background.Nathan.Dr. Jones was said to have gone to several medical schools, could use chewing gum to stop injuries, and sometimes it worked. He had saved Schaubi's life eighteen times.

Schaubi's problem is divided into two parts. He not only has no feeling externally, but also internally.When he was drunk, he was drunk, but he didn't feel drunk.When he fell in love, he didn't feel it, but he loved it.This created a split that tore him in two.He loved his nurse, and she loved him, but he couldn't express it to her because he didn't know it himself.So, he got drunk, and he didn't feel drunk, so drunk that he lost his mind, and was so drunk that his heart broke. On a cold winter night, he walked into a forest blankly after drinking, and no one saw him again.

mark.Maxson, the ape-man of the regiment, committed suicide due to alopecia.March 1947. Whit is the stick man in the regiment. He claims to be the thinnest man in history. You can see every bone in him without X-rays!For an extra twenty and a half cents, you can count his ribs and touch his stomach!You can guess what he's having for dinner!There have to be three of them standing together to make a shadow.Tired of the nomadic life, Whit has now settled down in a small village near Baton Rouge, where he runs a small restaurant. Bambi.Dykes.She can bend herself into a ball, small enough to fit in a shoebox.It can also twist its arms and legs together, and its limbs are as soft as vines.When she was performing in Montgomery, Alabama, a man was smitten with her and offered to pay her a fortune for a private performance at his home, so she followed him away, probably rich by now.

Henry.Walker is the black magician of the regiment, but he's neither black nor a magician, he's a lie from head to toe, he makes himself a freak, and I love that.Later, he disappeared.In fact, he was lost before he came here, and disappeared forever after he left.I couldn't stop thinking about him, and I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened to him.That is always a mystery, and everyone's opinions can be roughly divided into three types: 1. For a long time, he always falsely claimed that he was a part of the magic world, and now he was really sucked into that world.It was also said that he had already belonged to it before he joined the group.It is said that because of his poor technique, he lowered the level of magic, so he was removed from the world to make room for real magicians.According to this theory, he may be floating in the darkness, or being chased by wild dogs in the wilderness, or suffering from other equally endless sufferings.Of course, none of this can be verified. Those who said it had never talked to him in the quiet night, they would only talk about their own nightmares. We are all afraid that we will be sucked into a darker world after leaving this dark world. in the world.This fear should have a proper name, if not, let me think of one.This is on the to-do list.

2. The three hooligans felt that Henry violated their moral standards, so they kidnapped him.This statement is well-founded. Rudy and several outsiders in our regiment said that they had seen them argue and Henry was made things difficult.Henry's trailer showed signs of struggle, the chains and his Lana.Turner's photographs are gone.It is said that Rudy had stopped them the first time they moved, so they came again the next day, took him away and killed him in a hateful rage because he was black.But he is not, he died because he refused to say it clearly.He didn't want to betray his own people in order to survive, he didn't love life that much.

3. He suddenly fell in love with life, washed off his shoe polish, threw away the dyeing pills, returned to the world where he grew up, and became a barber, vacuum cleaner salesman, painter or teacher.He is very happy now, so happy that we can hardly imagine, so happy that people who walk by him can't help but think: this man is so happy!The only person who supports this third view is Jenny (the petrified girl with eternal hope in our group), and even she doesn't really believe it herself.This third view was the saddest, for poor Jenny loved and missed him, and harbored an impossible hope for his happiness.

My heart breaks every day, not just for Jenny, but for everyone (including myself, who don't fit in and I'm their king).I am also sorry for this world, because there is such a place in the world, but it cannot exist, otherwise we [This is torn off. 】 But I think the third view is very good. If it is true, it proves that God does sometimes intervene.Life is inherently sad, but real tragedies only happen to a few people, but make the vast majority of people uneasy all their lives, like a song that is played repeatedly.I have one in mind too, it's Henry (if that's really his real name).I spent some time with Henry, some serious time.He didn't talk much, but he would talk to me, and he would tell me things that he wouldn't tell anyone else.Before taking Tuan as his home, he had no home, wandered around, and often went in and out of prisons, sometimes because of setting up tricks for people to guess cards and gamble, sometimes because of other reasons.He doesn't like public power, and public power doesn't like him either.He has no friends, and the best friend in this life might be me.His story is very special, I will never forget it, especially the voice, the green eyes, the haggard face, you can't help but become more and more fascinated the more you listen to it.There is no way for others to repeat it truthfully, and it will be distorted anyway.His sister had been kidnapped or stolen by a man with no name or too many names, who had cut his finger, made his blood merge with him, and even made him swear.his sister

[A few pages are missing here in the diary, and then Musgrove writes something irrelevant about his loneliness and his longing for true friendship, and about a woman named Jessie whom he loves but who cannot In return for love, she said that it wasn't that she couldn't face him, but that she couldn't face his hair. 】 But she wasn't in the alley, and neither was the dog.The whole day passed like this, and at night she still did not appear.Henry took his father to knock on the door of that room, but there was no response.Mr. Walker opened the door with the superintendent's key (he always had a large bunch of keys around his waist, jingling, like a jailer.) and found the room empty, just like ordinary empty rooms, the only trace of occupancy It is a card placed in the most conspicuous place above the wardrobe.

(Henry picked up the card, put it in his pocket quietly, and never left his body for a moment after that. If he reappears in the future, whether dead or alive, I can assure you that the card is still on him, and I dare to take anything to follow him. You bet on it.) Everyone wanted to hear what he had to say, but Henry never said a word.Hotel guards, local police, private investigators, and journalists from as far away as New York searched, but couldn't find even a fingerprint.Only Henry knew what happened, at least he knew the clues, and his expression looked like he had seen a ghost.He did see a ghost, Mr. Sabaschin was a ghost, and turned his sister into a ghost, and the ghosts would follow him for life.

The heat subsided quickly, and Henry hoped that they could investigate more thoroughly, but they came and went, and the investigation ended just like that, and his sister's whereabouts were still unknown.Henry couldn't help anything, he couldn't even speak, and he didn't want to just let it go.When he finally managed to speak, it came out like a whisper, and his dad had to stick close to hear it.King of Hearts.Henry said: The king of hearts represents Charlemagne, the king of diamonds is Caesar, the king of clubs is Alexander the Great, and the king of spades is David from the Bible.He said it over and over again, and his father thought the son was finished. A thought haunted Henry like a monster: I let him take my sister. When he could say anything else, Henry told Dad everything (within breaking his oath), but what he knew was not far from what everyone knew, and there were no useful clues.He was amazed himself that after all this time he knew nothing about Mr. Sabaschin.Henry described his appearance to his father, saying that he had pale skin, red lips, black hair, and a constant smile, which sounded like the main character in a ghost story. His father cried and sipped his wine, patted his son on the back, and said that he is very brave, they will continue to search, they will definitely find her back, they will never give up and so on.But Henry knew it was a lie, and even though he was young, he could tell it.Life goes on, and if you can't find her after a certain amount of time, you have to bury her.They will make her a thing of the past. For his father, he had already lost too much. The loss of his daughter was the last straw that broke the camel's back. It oiled the wheels of his fall. Even Prohibition stopped him, and he became a drunkard.It made no difference anyway, sadly, the disappearance of his daughter sealed his tragic fate, and he was drunk the rest of his life. Shortly after the reporters and the police left, Mr. Croton spoke to Mr. Walker. After a few words, he was no longer an employee of the Fremont Hotel.For the next few weeks he and his son lived in a hotel that was nothing like the Fremont Hotel. The room was no better than the space between the kitchen and the laundry room. It was infested with fleas. The water leaking from the top made it very dirty, the bathroom was shared with others, and there were strange things growing in the toilet.Their room was small, with paper-thin walls, which barely separated them from the outside world. There were some Americans outside who were worse than them, desperately scratching at the wall to get something to eat to fill their stomachs.It was only then that Henry saw the normal course of things and understood the fact that they had been walking on water all these days, and now they were sinking.His gin-filled papa said: We're mixed with trash now because we're trash too. Such a sad story, I almost cried, but there are a million other people who are pretty much like them, young boys with their pimple-faced fathers who have drooping eyelids barely covering their bloodshot eyes, hopeless, and , let's be honest, annoying.Henry kept practicing his card skills to forget his situation, let everything around him disappear without a trace, and roam freely in his fantasy.When his father was awake, he would look at his son, thoughtful, a thought buzzing like a bee until he picked up the battered hat, grabbed his son by the wrist and dragged him out.Take your cards with you. The cards saved Henry's life, and almost saved his father's life. That's how it was.Dad took him into downtown Albany, and there were a dozen people around a table on a street corner, all ages, some in padded tops and high-waisted trousers, some in old-fashioned bloomers and floppy hats, There was also a man who had no legs and came in a wheelchair.Mr Walker joined the crowd with his son.There are three cards on the table, and the dealer's bony hand moves them quickly back and forth, left and right.He had a sharp face, sunken cheeks, pockmarked, dimpled, and a wide-brimmed hat (everyone wore hats in those days) pulled back to reveal a large forehead.His words were rough but charming, and everyone listened very still, their eyes fixed on his lightning-quick hands. Keep an eye on that red card. It's a money card. Let me show you where it is now. Have you seen it?This will make it easier for you to follow me when I flip over to play.Slow down the first time so you can see clearly, you know where it is right?gentlemen?I can see you're a smart guy, I shouldn't be playing this with you.I mean to bet, but not with you.No, I'm not betting on you.But of course, if you insist, I'll take a chance and bet you five dollars.We all have to support our families, and either I support you or you support me.So now, point out that card, the middle one, yes?Let's take a look!Sorry sir!Why does everyone love this card?Thank you, I have to take your money, and my kids thank you too. Mr. Walker looked at his son, saw something in him that he hadn't seen before, and asked: Do you know that?Henry studied for a few seconds, shrugged and said: Of course, no problem. So they lived through the harsh winter until spring by playing cards and playing games.Whether it's called three︱card︱monte, Follow the Queen, or Find the Lady, the gamble feeds their bellies, clothes and beds can sleep.How nice it was for a young boy to take money like that from someone two or three times his age and ten times his weight.this is a dangerous [The contents of the diary here are blurred by coffee, red wine, soot and tears, and cannot be recognized. 】 Mr Walker told them: "I didn't know that was illegal. [This is torn off. 】 met in prison.As if by magic, he thrust a calling card into Mr. Walker's hand, and it read: Tom.Hailey's Magic City Operating as an agent for young magicians from all over the world (if Albany was your world) New York, Albany Malcolm Avenue, 321 I know what that card looks like because I've seen it with my own eyes.Henry had had it all these years, in tatters and the edges were broken, just like his three of hearts.Henry (don't know if that's his real name) is really affectionate.But I'd keep that card anyway, because Tom.Haley is very important, he changed Henry's life. It's Tom.Haley made him black. Tom.Hailey!He must be an amazing man!Not as great as Rockefeller or Roosevelt, but Barnum. kind of.He was supposed to be of the same kind as Barnum, only born on the cobbled streets of Albany, dragged by his mother who was never dead.As the only son, he thought he had an obligation to take care of her for the rest of his life, but after she died, it was too late to leave.Think about it, Tom.How many stillborn dreams Haley had!If you can't think of it out of thin air, think about what it would be like if Alexander the Great was trapped in Macedonia all his life, and you will understand.He's tall, always has a happy look on his face, and has endless possibilities in his eyes (either you can do something for him, or he can take something from you, but it will be good for each other in the end) .This guy is very good at sucking money in, like a vending machine, but it's a pity that all he makes is small money.He has big everything, big hands, big teeth, big ears, and big nose. His energy seems to come from the sun and the moon, and he can't use it up no matter how he uses it.He was tall and thin, but he had a nice little pot, and he was quite proud of it.No one doesn't like him, and no one he doesn't like.Tom.Hailey is such a person. [Here, Musgrove spends a long time describing how his parents died.The mother died in the fire, and the father died in the tractor.He loved them deeply, and wrote in the article: That love is so strong that it has not diminished a bit even after forty years, and they are vivid in my heart. 】 Tom.Hailey's office is on the second floor of a four-story building. The surrounding area is full of warehouses, not far from the paper mill. Coal ash stains every window, and the smell is terrible. It burns people's nostrils. stand up.Across the street was a dismantled van that a bunch of homeless people depended on for shelter.The bus's final stop was only six blocks away, and damn it, Mr. Walker and his little magician son had to walk the rest of the way.Henry's father walked with a limp, not because of any problem with his legs, but because his wine-soaked brain was not able to direct his legs forward, and it was already difficult for him to stand up. I had no idea that was illegal.He muttered that phrase a thousand times.do you know? Of course I know.Henry said: Otherwise, why would that guy run away as soon as he saw the police. Mr. Walker stroked his son's head so hard that the top of his head was about to smoke.You're so smart, really, it's in my heritage. Henry knew that wasn't true.There is a list in his mind, listing all the things that are not like his father, reminding himself not to be like him.Henry thinks he is just like "Ragged Dick" (Annotation: Ragged Dick, American writer Alger (Horatio Alger, 1832︱1899) novel, published in 1868.), poor to poor, but a poet Soul, more like his mother.He didn't have a chance to get to know her well, so he had to picture her in his mind, imposing on that fictional personality the virtues he wished he had in himself. He imagined her innocent, warm, fair, strong, and capable of Grief was the last skill he had mastered. Well, let's say we broke the law.Mr Walker shrugged: "And what has the law done for us?"What did you do for those paupers over there?It's only going to get worse, and we've got our eye on it.So we you and I have to get back on track, so we have to come to this Tom.Mr. Haley talk.You know, everything happens for a reason, and if we hadn't been arrested, we wouldn't have gotten this business card.I'm glad I've been shut up for a few nights, Henry, and I have a hunch we're about to change our luck. Mr. Walker is obviously not the only one who has this premonition, Tom.Haili's small waiting area was crowded with many people, father with son, mother with daughter, and uncle with niece. God!Mr. Walker looked around, not expecting so many people besides them.This is how to do? Waiting with us of course.It was a murderous burly man who seemed to see that they were trying to jump in line and was very displeased.Get to the front and register in line. They waited three hours after registration.The boy in line ahead of them was holding a battered briefcase with a gold lock (he said it contained more wonders than you can imagine, but Henry could tell he was lying, Henry had seen wonders and he doubted that There probably wasn't even a single thing in the bag); there was a dude with a dummy sitting on his lap (Mr. Walker said: Looks like two dummies sitting together. Accidentally speaking too loudly) ; There is a girl who wears a ballet skirt and wants to be a magician's apprentice; the other six or seven little boys are similar to him in Henry's eyes, they can force cards, steal wallets, know how to be funny, how to make people laugh People are confused. Henry had no chance at all. He said to his father: Everyone is dressed up. Mr Walker said bitterly: "Maybe it's their ability to dress up. Henry knew that everyone came here because they needed work, but only the father and son saw this need. Before it was their turn, Henry's father fell asleep, snoring like a submachine gun. Henry had been practicing cards all his life, and now he was passing the time by practicing cards. He said they were his fifty-two best friends.He practiced one-handed shuffling, two-handed shuffling, making up cards, fake cutting cards, Indian-style shuffling, Jordan-style shuffling, and multiple control cards. These beautiful tricks were left to him by the person who stole his sister.He looked up every time the door opened, hoping he would be called.Every time there was billowing smoke from the door, as if something was on fire inside. Finally, he heard his name. Henry? Tom.Haley's secretary looked around, found him, and smiled at him.He pushed his father awake and stood up.She winked at him in a way that made it seem like she never winked at anyone else, it was just for you, and Henry liked her right away.She was beautiful, with short blond hair framed by broad cheeks, lipstick the color of a fire engine, and friendly blue eyes.She was beautiful, thought Henry.Her name is Lauren. Lauren said: Come in. Inside were two old iron chairs covered with ragged green vinyl, and Henry and his father sat down on them.It was dark inside, with wooden shutters covering the windows.There was a certificate from a correspondence school hanging on the wall. There was a messy desk in front of it. On the desk was a big black phone with an address book attached to the bottom of the phone.In the ashtray lay an unfiltered cigarette, burning itself, like the crowd of its kind, with the end squished and a little wet.As soon as they sat down, the phone rang and Lauren picked it up. magic city.She listened for a while.We can't make an appointment, we all line up on the spot, no, it's best not to bring rabbits.Hmm, bye bye. She hangs up. Mr. Haley will be right away. That's right, after a toilet flush, a small door on the side of the room opened, and six-foot-six Tom.Hailey appeared. Thank you, Lauren.There was a provocative tone in his voice, and anyone could tell that there was a special relationship between them.Lauren got a little fatter, but then Tom.Hailey told Henry: It is true that she is a little fatter, but she is fat where she should be.Although Tom.Haley's rule is that rabbits don't eat the grass beside the nest, but he never can't abide by it himself, and breaks the rules with Lauren whenever he gets a chance. He can't help it, Tom.Hayley is powerless against any woman, he is a man who is happy to be at the mercy of certain desires. When Lauren walked out, Tom.Hailey followed her until she was out of sight, and immediately looked like he missed her, at least he missed looking at her. Finally, he pulled his eyes back and took a moment to look at the two remaining members of the Walker family. Henry could see that he was planning something, but kept his eyes on the burning cigarette butt in the ashtray, and picked it up. , use it to light another cigarette. Welcome to Magic City, my friend, where the motto is magic is money and money is magic.People like to forget, we provide this kind of service, let people drink the water of forgetting, forget what they want to forget.I have an unproven theory that God is actually a magician, the best one.The reason we fight in Magic City is to get closer to Him.He has probably told this scene a thousand times.He smiled and said to Henry: You use cards to do magic tricks?Henry said: Yes, sir. Not as ambitious as creating the world in seven days, right?Tom.Haili laughed, clasped his fingers tightly in front of him, stared at Henry, completely ignoring the existence of his father, and didn't bother to pay attention to him. He said: You stare at my ear. Henry blushed.Yes, sir. My ears are big? Yes, sir. As far as I know, it might be the biggest in the world.I have written to Mr. Guinness. Ask him to come and measure, but have not heard back yet.Tom.Haley opened a drawer and took out a lady's hand mirror and looked at herself carefully.Big is big, but I wouldn't call it weird, Henry.Walker, even though I'm such a harsh reviewer, and I'm especially hard on myself, have to admit they have a charm of their own, Lauren once compared them to the wings of a giant butterfly, which means I have one on each side of my face .Paying her seventy-five cents an hour was not for nothing.He winked at Henry, the second time anyone had winked at him that day.They also have practical uses. I have such good hearing that I can hear a cockroach sneezing a mile away. Cockroaches sneeze?Henry asked. Tom.Hailey nodded and said: I can hear your heartbeat.As he spoke, he closed his eyes and took a pencil to tap on the table following Henry's heartbeat. Mr. Walker said: You know what people say about people with big ears?Then laugh out loud. Tom.Haili said coldly: I know, people with big ears wear big hats. After speaking, turn your attention back to Henry, forget his father, and pretend that Mr. Walker does not exist.Let's see what you can do. [Apparently one page was burned] From simple to complex, perform according to what you have learned.Sometimes Tom.Haley would quickly call out certain tricks for him to demonstrate, such as the Four Friendly Kings, Seb's Bottom, and the Three–Card Match.Henry's father was dizzy, Tom.Haley didn't miss any details.Henry noticed that he was no more than a slight nod, no other sign of approval, not even a smile. Mr. Walker looked at his son, then at Tom.Hailey rubbed his hands together desperately, as if he wanted to warm them up. His hands were always so cold recently that he developed this habit.He sniffed like a dog sniffing food, so eagerly that even Henry could feel it between magic tricks.This was their first last chance, but Mr. Walker's presence was not very good for it. He kept saying when he shouldn't: Well done, son!I didn't even know you could do this!Even Tom.Hailey couldn't listen anymore, so he had to ask him to be quiet. well.sure, but But what?Tom.Haley stared at him. But what he is best at is card guessing games.If you want to see something good, ask him to do that, and that's what we've been living off for the past two months. Henry stopped his hand, and the cards seemed to condense in mid-air. Even children knew that it was very wrong to mention this matter.Tom.Haley sighed and rubbed his eyes.There was a long silence at the scene, which was uncomfortably long. During the silence, Henry was forced to face something that he had never been able to face, that is: his father was wrong, not only this thing was wrong, but everything was wrong, even the existence All kinds of mistakes.It was sad enough to degenerate into such insignificance, to become a piece of old bread that people didn't even bother to throw away. What made Henry even more angry was that he couldn't help his father, and his father couldn't help him. Will continue to drag him down, Henry knows that if he does not want to be dragged down, he must cut off from his father. Tom.Haley cleared his throat and said, "Mr. Walker, card guessing is a trick of street gangsters. A magician who falls into that hole is courting death."My heart aches, no, my heart breaks for this gifted kid to be forced to sully his art because of his father's bankruptcy.It's no different than sending your own daughter to a brothel. As soon as he mentioned the word daughter, Henry's father got up and jumped over the table to Tom.Haley, headbutted his chest, grabbed him, tore his clothes, and strangled him with his tie.Mr. Walker let out the sounds of a wounded animal, howling and whimpering, until Tom.Haley pushed him away, onto the table, off the table, and he curled up on the floor in a fetal position shaking.Henry didn't move. Tom.Haley stared at Mr. Walker for a while, then turned around and asked Henry: Do you have a younger sister? Henry said: It would have been. Tom.Haili nodded, then looked down at the man lying on the ground, and stretched out his hands to help him up.I'm sorry, Mr. Walker, I shouldn't have said that, I don't know. Mr Walker said: "I would never do anything to hurt her.He looked at Henry.You know it, Henry, you know it?I absolutely will not. hurt her?but you don't have her This time Tom.Haley was on the alert.I'm really sorry if I said something hurtful, really because I didn't know I was looking away, at the desk where all the contracts and porn magazines and pretty stationery were messed up.He shouted: Lauren!Lauren immediately poked his head in.Next person. Next person?Mr. Walker seemed to wake up from a dream, completely forgetting that the embarrassment that just happened was caused by himself.Next person?Nonsense, no one is better than my son, he is the best! Tom.Haley said: "That's true, he's really good, I've never seen a kid like that.It's a pity that although your son is very talented, I can't help him. Then why?asked Mr. Walker. Tom.Haley walked to the door and gave it a hard push.Because of this, Mr. Walker. They looked out together, and the waiting room was still overcrowded. There seemed to be countless little boys who wanted to be magicians and little girls who wanted to be assistants in this world, which could be replenished endlessly.When one goes, another one comes. Every day is like this.Now there are more magicians than magicians. I don't know how it happened, and I'm not used to it.Maybe there's something special in the water right now, or in the air.Henry is talented, and so are these kids, but the world doesn't need another white magician. Mr. Walker said: Then why do you want to see us?Makes me hope so much. Tom.Hailey shrugged his shoulders and looked at him seriously: Then you didn't come in vain.Remember when was the last time you felt hopeful? The interview is over, Tom.Haley opened the door wide to let them out.Henry stuffed the cards into his pocket, barely stood up, and his father put his hands on his shoulders, not to cheer up his son, but to prevent himself from falling down.After Tom.When Haley was around, he grabbed Henry's father by the elbow, pulled him closer, and whispered something in his ear, Henry didn't know what he said at the time. What he said was: Although there are so many white magicians that no one wants them, black magicians are rare. People call to ask for them every day. You can imagine how anxious I am. Tom.Haley and Henry's fathers knew each other's minds very well, needless to say, Tom.Hailey scribbled a few words on a business card and handed it to his father. When he was leaving, his father leaned into Henry's ear and whispered: "It's okay, we'll be fine." Tom.Hailey's apartment was no palace, but it was clean, warm, and free, at least for now.He said: I will deduct the rent from the money we will earn in the future. We will earn a lot of money in the future. This is only a small part, so don't worry. Henry and his father shared a closet-sized room with a light bulb hanging from wires from the ceiling, an old wooden cross on the wall, a small mattress in the corner, and a pile of blankets on the floor. As soon as Mr. Walker came in, he tried the mattress first.Not bad.He slammed his head back onto the pile of pillows on the bed.It's not very comfortable, but it's okay. Henry began to make a sleeping place with blankets on the floor.Tom.Haley suddenly poked his head in and said to Mr. Walker: The bed is for Xiaotian to sleep on.While speaking, he winked at Henry.He needs a good night's sleep, tomorrow is a big day. Mr. Walker climbed out of bed.After a few minutes, they turned off the lights, and both lay down in their clothes without saying a word.They can't remember the last time they slept peacefully. Every night, the whole city is in their ears. There are street cars, fights, and bed calls. You can't even listen to them.Although here occasionally I hear Tom.The sound of Hailey opening and closing the cabinet, the sound of water, or the sound of flushing the toilet are all normal sounds in the home. Henry asked: What's the big day? He turned to his father, who quickly closed his eyes. He asked in a low voice: Dad, why is tomorrow a big day?I thought he didn't want us, but now he wants us again, what happened?Dad, what did he tell you? Father fell asleep. In the early morning of the next day, the smell of fried bacon woke Henry and his father from their sleep, like a magic carpet, leading them half asleep and half awake to the kitchen.The dining table is a Formica table with a plastic veneer, the iron table legs are rusted, and there are cutlery for three people on the table. When I sat down, another large serving of hot scrambled eggs was piled onto the plate.Although Henry was hungry, he ate in small bites, while his father wolfed it down, as if afraid that someone would come and steal his food.Tom.Haley watched with a smile.Henry could see that Tom felt sorry for his father, because he felt the same way himself. They ate in silence until Henry had finished his last mouthful and the orange juice in the glass, Tom.Hai Licai put two small white pills on the side of his plate, and said: This can only be taken after a full meal, so send it down with water, a lot of water. Henry looked at the two of them, he had never taken any medicine in his life.What's this? magic pill.Said Tom.Hailey blinked again, and Henry now realized that it was an involuntary movement of his nervousness, and it was also a punctuation mark when he spoke.A doctor would probably call it a photosensitizer. This pill was given by the doctor?asked Mr. Walker. 差不多，他跟醫生差不多，只是沒有醫學博士的頭銜而已。 靠這個就能辦到嗎？ Tom.海利說：靠這個就能辦到。 亨利說：辦到什麼？ 沃克先生深深吸一口氣，說：把你變成黑人。 不是黑人。Tom.海利拍拍亨利的背，要他放心。除非天生，否則沒辦法變成黑人，這是簡單的生物學。你的膚色會由白變黑，改變的只有顏色而已，可是不知情的人看不出來，而大家都不會知情。你還是你，還是來自美國某處的亨利．沃克，但他們會堅信你來自最黑暗的非洲。 亨利問他父親：你有沒有打算告訴我實情？ 他父親手指頭在盤沿遊走。我剛不就說了嗎？ 【此處有一大段被塗掉了，無法看懂。 】 回辦公室。他開全新的Studebaker，亨利和父親都從來沒坐過這種車。Tom.海利在路上向他們說明接下來的全部流程。首先，他必須持續服用這種藥丸，既安全，又神奇，搭配照射某種特殊的燈光，每天照一小時左右，皮膚很快就會變得相當黑。然後他們要幫他剃頭。所幸亨利的頭髮原本就很粗黑。Tom.海利說：十指要常保持交扣。這樣看起來就會跟黑人一樣像黑人。他說藥丸只有暫時性效果，只要停用一兩天，亨利的膚色就會還原。 亨利說：可是我不知道我想不想當黑人。 這我完全理解。Tom.海利回頭看著獨自坐在後座的亨利說：可是我跟你爸解釋過了，如果你不是黑人，我們就沒搞頭。現在白種人魔術師在市場上供過於求，我也沒辦法，而你這麼好的技巧浪費掉實在可惜。再說，你頭髮黑，五官又怎麼說呢，又很合適，金頭髮的人就不適合。在我看來，我們很可以搞定這件事。 但這等於騙人，不是嗎？Henry said. Tom.海利先是大笑，接著露出受傷的表情。如果我騙人，你以為我還能在這行待這麼久嗎？How can it be.這是幻術，是表演的一部分，亨利，人家想看黑人魔術師，我們就給他一個黑人魔術師，如此而已。 可我並不是黑人。 你不是，但你可以改變，最後人家會分不出差別，這讓他們開心，讓他們遺忘。我們會編個故事，大家最喜歡好故事，我們就來講個讓他們難以置信的故事好了，有船，有非洲黑暗大陸，我腦中已經有了雛型，他們會相信的，一定會信！我們在做的是天使的工作，亨利，你跟我將滿足他們的渴望，你知道這件事有多重要嗎？你輕易就能變成黑人，而他們將因為你而在死時快樂一點，不會快樂很多，只會快樂一點，但每一點都有意義。 Tom.海利指著路旁一條小巷子說：那邊有個施粥處，辦得不錯。流浪漢之家也至少可以住一兩個晚上。如果你確定不要跟我合作，我就在那邊放你們下車。 亨利看看那些人，一個個又弱又餓，穿著破外套，跟他父親現在一樣垂頭喪氣，不知何去何從。 亨利決定留在原處。他點頭，只點一下。 Tom.海利露出微笑，搞定了。 你的名字會叫做巴卡立，在斯瓦西里語（譯註：Swahili，某些非洲國家的官方語言。）裡的意思是一個會成功的人。你看，我做了功課。想要取信於人，就得注意這些細節，雖然並非每個人都能辨出其中差別，但我認為這很重要。你來自最黑暗的剛果，藏在輪船船底的籃子裡偷渡來此，船上水手打算在黑市將你賣掉我並不是要講雙關語，好吧，也許有一點雙關。那些水手真小看了你。一到美國，你就把其中一個水手變成驢子，另一個變成豬，第三個變成一縷煙。我會對現場觀眾說，可是，拜託，別在今天要求現場證明。各位今天十分安全，那種法力太危險，巴卡立已經發誓再也不用。他還有能力呼叫許多神祇前來幫忙，但只有緊急時刻才可呼叫，不然會得罪神明。即便如此，您今天還是會看見許多驚人演出。您將深受迷惑，並且從此以後巴卡立這個名字將永駐您心。雖然巴卡立一句英文也不會說，但他根本不用說話，魔術就是他最好的表達。 那不是普通燈，光從盒子裡照出來，比一般燈亮得多，也熱得多，坐在燈前就像有夏日陽光暖著臉。他每天照燈一小時，先從臉開始，然後照手，再照全身。記得有次跟漢娜一起躺在旅館旁的小公園草地上，就是這種感覺。那天他們本來在找幸運草，找不到，乾脆躺下，躺在軟軟的草地上看雲。那裡有山，山上有翻騰的雲罩著，遮住部分太陽，太陽透過雲層照下來，看起來好像雲會發光。漢娜說：神就住在那裡。 有天吃晚飯的時候，湯姆．海利說：這法子是我從我叔叔那兒學的。說著挖起一匙馬鈴薯泥跟肉片一起放進嘴裡，嚼了一秒鐘，就用啤酒把食物送下肚，拿起菸來抽。不管當下抽不抽，從早到晚他總是點著菸，一根熄了再點一根。原本他吃這藥是想治皮膚病，後來有天出門，陽光照在身上像抽鞭子似的，接著皮膚漸漸變成這種暗棕色，從此我就叫他曼丁果人（Mandingo），一直到現在。你知道人要懂得變通，客戶一天到晚求我找個像阿姆斯壯或威廉．卡爾的黑人魔術師，在紐約阿爾巴尼我哪有可能找得到？人的心智真是奧妙無比，科學無法解釋，點子就像鋼珠，你見過那種鋼珠遊戲機嗎？砰砰答答砰，我就想，有何不可？這事對我們兩個都有好處 三個，應該說我們三個才對。亨利的爸爸這一開口，大家才想起他也在場，更別說在聽了。 對我們三個都有好處。萬事俱備，就只等合適的小孩出現，然後，我找到了，就是你。 後來他還有另一種說法，說他在等一個絕望到願意為了生存放棄天生膚色，一無所有，無可損失的人。 他對亨利說：幫個忙，孩子，這幾天先不要照鏡子，最好他推桌起身，從廚房抽屜找出一捲黃色膠帶，把所有鏡子和鏡面物品都用報紙遮起來，就連烤麵包機也不放過。 這樣子看到結果的時候才會有驚喜，至少你自己暫時看不見。 這段時間他們就給軟禁在湯姆．海利的公寓裡，聽收音機播的搖擺樂。 【此處莫斯葛羅夫寫了我真希望當初這幾個字，但沒把想法寫完整。 】 蘿倫給他們送午餐，又帶給沃克先生很多私釀琴酒。她有三頂帽子，輪流戴，一頂鐘型帽，一頂筒狀帽，還有一頂貝雷帽。亨利最喜歡那頂貝雷帽，她戴了看起來像個和藹可親的美麗間諜。她會跟亨利肩並肩坐在餐桌邊，手肘碰手肘，她的裙襬碰到他大腿。她幫亨利擦嘴的時候會先用嘴把餐巾弄濕，他也讓她這樣，在他眼裡她彷彿是某種不知名的奇特生物，有美麗的皮膚和眼睛。他愛上了她，那種愛是男孩珍惜寶貝的愛，而不是男人對女人的愛。他父親的角度與他就不同，那是男人角度。因為她的緣故，他刮了幾天鬍子，還會把襯衫塞進褲裡。但這些沒用，她幾乎沒注意過他的存在，於是他很快故態復萌，回到我的生活毫無目標的狀態。亨利知道她有時候晚上也會來，來找湯姆．海利，他隔著牆聽得見他們的聲音，可是她總在天亮前離開。 我認為你所做的事情非常勇敢。她對亨利說。雖然有點瘋狂，卻很勇敢。自從上次湯姆在賽狗場贏了十塊錢之後，我很久沒見他這麼開心了。她在他額頭上親了一下，眨眨眼說：我從來沒親過黑人唷。 亨利說：我不是黑人。 你不是，但沒人比你更像了。 Tom.海利每天早上都會進辦公室，把亨利和他父親留在家裡。他父親起床晚，而且就算中午左右起床之後依然一副睡樣，好像把睡眠帶進了清醒的生活中。Tom.海利充分供應他最愛的琴酒，每天一起床他就把琴酒加在柳橙汁裡喝，所以他每一分鐘都比之前更醉，成天聽音樂看漫畫。他最喜歡的漫畫是神探崔西，可是並不是因為內容多有趣。我喜歡這個崔西，他真有辦法。他幾乎每天都要這麼說一次，每次都好像第一次說，好像他在崔西身上認出了一丁點自己。 亨利每天花一小時照燈之後，就會開始練牌。以前他練牌並沒有這樣一整套有邏輯的程序，但現在他會一樣樣照次序來，以一個最精彩的魔術收尾，就跟放煙火一樣。除了原先他就會的（湯姆．海利別說沒見過，就連聽都沒有聽過）之外，湯姆還教了他一些用繩索、隱形藥水和蛇來表演的把戲。雖然扮成黑人表演時他說話就會穿幫，可是他手指很靈活，又精於誤導，即使不用口語也能成功演出，至少目前唯一的觀眾他父親並看不出破綻。只是他不太確定父親到底有沒有真的在看，就算在看，看懂了嗎？他似乎已經脫離現實，神遊去了。 Tom.海利可不會這樣，每天回來他都帶著無窮的精力和嶄新的點子。有一天他甚至帶了條頭巾回來。我知道這是印度的東西，可是觀眾絕對認不出來，如果真的有人發現，就說輪船曾在孟買停過一個月，所以你沾染了一點他們的文化氣息。孟買是港口嗎？我得查查，不過沒關係，就算我說你來自月球，他們也會信，相信我。 亨利並不擔心，他暫時擱置此類情緒，全心相信他的經紀人。Tom.海利說了許多難以置信的故事，亨利通通相信，至少相信了那麼一陣子。他說：我可以想見你和哈利．胡迪尼同台演出，亨利，當然你得負責開場，但那還是同台，你將會跟他一樣有名，我敢說一定會的。你不會是唯一的黑人魔術師，甚至可能不會是唯一身為白人的黑人魔術師，但是他們的技法通通比不上你，你可以領導潮流。這些魔術手法你從哪裡學來的？當然，一定是某個魔術師教的，但是誰呢？告訴我名字，說不定我認得。可亨利說不出口，甚至不確定自己真的知道。薩巴斯欽、何瑞修、托比亞斯、詹姆斯，說不定全都是胡謅出來的。亨利心想，薩巴斯欽先生可能一開始就打算要把他妹帶走，所以故意不說真話，好讓他後來想找也找不著。 這事只是時間問題。通常湯姆．海利從辦公室回來時，會邊開門邊喊：有人在家嗎？然後走直線距離前往冰櫃，拿出裡面最冰的一瓶啤酒。他總說禁酒令讓他更想喝酒。今晚他進門時亨利就站在他面前，他一見到亨利就忘了冰櫃，也沒問：有人在家嗎？整個人僵在那裡，連嘴裡叼著的菸都掉到地上。 Henry? 他不敢相信自己的眼睛。 亨利說：我今天照了很久的燈。 I can tell.Tom.海利謹慎地說。I can see it. 他緩緩走近亨利，仔細看他，好像眼前的亨利有可能不是本人似的。他用食指摸摸亨利臉頰，看看會不會沾到些什麼，什麼也沒有，手指白淨如雪。 他露出微笑，亨利見到他笑，也跟著笑。亨利已經很久沒有這種感覺，他希望自己能令湯姆．海利感到驕傲。 Tom.海利問他：你自己也想看看吧？ 亨利點頭。我也想看。 Tom.海利根本無法將目光從他身上移開，一次又一次地說：噢，噢。然後他問：你爸呢？ 亨利指指他們房間，門關著。 他在裡頭幹嘛？ 他不想看我。Henry said. 他不想看你。Tom.海利輕聲說著，跪下來，把蓋到亨利眼睛上的頭髮撥開。嗯，你爸是個情緒化的人。 He is an alcoholic.Henry said.他是我爸，可他是個酒鬼，他因為生活裡發生很多爛事就自暴自棄，我不會跟他一樣。 Tom.海利微笑說：你不會，我看得出來你不會的。 他不喜歡我這個樣子，可是我也不喜歡他那個樣子，所以我們扯平了。 聽來正是如此。Tom.海利起身把烤麵包機上的報紙撕掉，那是離他們最近的鏡面。亨利一星期來首度看見自己，那光滑彎曲的表面有哈哈鏡的效果，他的臉也跟著扭曲。他變成棕色的了，亨利．沃克變成棕色的了。 還有件事得做。Tom.海利去廚房抽屜裡找出一把剪刀，把亨利的頭髮剪得像頂黑色頭盔，效果好極了。 你對我兒子做了什麼？亨利的父親突然在他們身後出現。 我們不是說好了嗎？Tom.海利說：我知道這很震撼，連我都有點嚇到，可是 亨利的父親向湯姆．海利撲過去，但他從來不擅打架，湯姆．海利把沃克先生的胳臂貼緊身體定住，看來好似擁抱一樣，兩人持續這姿勢好一會兒，直到沃克先生心中的怒火被自己的淚水澆熄，不住喘息顫抖。 他根本不是我兒子了。他哭著說：他是別人，我兒子不見了。 這倒是真的，亨利心知這是真的。亨利已經消失，完全離開了自己，他變成了巴卡利，來自黑暗剛果。他望著湯姆．海利 【此處模糊難辨】 第二天早上，他們享用另一份美好早餐，亨利已經學會忽視蛋裡的灰，甚至漸漸相信湯姆．海利說的：這對身體好。而他父親認為那是胡椒。 飯後，湯姆．海利像在表演魔術似的拍兩下手，說：在現實世界裡測試一下成果吧。穿上外套，外頭很冷。 外頭？ 亨利心跳突然加速，好像汽車引擎一樣，湯姆．海利拿起餐刀隨著他的心跳節奏敲桌子。別那麼擔心，亨利，沒事的。 他們是奇特的三人行，兩個白人大人帶著一個黑人小孩。之前下了整夜的雪，背景襯托下亨利顯得更黑，每個經過的路人都困惑地盯著他看半天。 very good.Tom.海利邊走邊壓低聲音說。真的非常好。 亨利的父親咳嗽起來。where are we going?這鬼天氣冷得像老巫婆的奶頭。 Tom.海利抽口菸說：有個地方，離這裡三四個街區，可以在那裡做第一個測試．看看我們這個小小科學怪人能不能融入。他摸摸亨利髮絲茂密的頭，說：我開玩笑的，你知道的對吧？我在說笑。 這段路彷彿時光回溯，越往前走景物越舊，每況愈下，從辦公大樓變成公寓，再從公寓變成小房子，這些小房子連草坪也極小，看得出住戶努力維護，但還是難掩破敗。走過五個街區之後，他們在公園對面街角停下。目光所見全是黑人，全部都是，有的裹著毯子，坐在門前，有的在鏟自家出入通道上的雪，看起來長得都差不多。 有個黑女人走過他們身邊，年約五十，身穿藍色棉布裙裝，圍著深色圍巾，以這種天氣來說她穿的有點少，但這年頭誰不是呢？她走路很快，也許是趕著要去某個比較溫暖的地方。 Tom.海利對她說：對不起。她有點勉強地停下腳步，瞪著這白人看，那種表情就好像從前有過跟這種人交談的惡劣經驗。但那表情一閃而逝。 她說：什麼事？gentlemen. 這孩子他把亨利往前推。他迷路了。說他應該住這附近，可是不太確定，又搞不清楚方向。妳認得他嗎？ 她對亨利好生打量了一番。我想我不認得。 再看一下，確認一下。Tom.海利說。 這回她看得可仔細了，久到亨利和湯姆．海利都想她一定看出來了。可是，不，她微笑說：真不好意思，抱歉了。 Tom.海利繼續往前走，亨利和父親跟在後面。過街有座公園，公園裡有鞦韆、滑梯，還有繩索可以爬著玩。六七個小孩在裡面玩耍，全是黑人。那座公園雖然很乾淨，可是亨利老遠就看出鞦韆的鐵杆都鏽了，有個小孩盪得太高，整個鞦韆架簡直抖到像要拔地而出。 Tom.海利說：過去吧。 亨利抬頭看他，他看的不是落後一兩步的父親，而是湯姆．海利。 過去玩吧。 跟他們玩？ Of course, why not?他們跟你又沒兩樣。他眨眨眼，沒差多少。 我自己一個人去？ 兒子，我陪你。他父親說。 Tom.海利大笑起來。你陪他去，那像什麼話？白人帶著黑人小孩，像什麼話？我們現在是要看亨利能不能過得了關，別找麻煩。 沃克先生執意又說：可是以後還是會這樣啊，今天、明天、後天，只要你的計畫持續，我們不就一直會是這個樣子？ Tom.海利沒有搭腔，因為這他早就考慮過了。 亨利靠過去的時候動作很慢，很謹慎。這很正常，每個小孩進入新環境都會有這種表現。沃克先生和湯姆．海利看著他走去，途中亨利一度回頭揮手，他們也揮手回應，之後他就沒再回頭。公園邊圍著鍛鐵柵欄，亨利推開鐵門，向那群小孩走去。他們正在玩球，把一顆球傳來傳去，亨利近看發現那是顆雪球，壓得很實，這些小孩在玩的遊戲是看誰會把球弄破，大家玩得很開心，笑聲不斷。他們和亨利年紀相仿，他若無其事越走越近，那些孩子也裝出沒注意他的樣子，直到他走進圓圈，成為圈上的一點，不一會兒，球就傳了過來。 多年來這是頭一回，他和漢娜以外的人玩遊戲。 Tom.海利和沃克先生站在那裡看他。雪落在他們的帽子上、肩膀上。 沃克先生，我們得談談。Tom.海利說話時並不回頭，眼光始終不離亨利。 I know.He said. You know? I know.He said. 那麼您一定了解，這並非針對您個人，而是在商言商。 certainly. 這是行不通的。Tom.海利說。我們沒法三人行，這是在商言商。 那是對你。沃克先生說。對我來說這並不是生意。 Tom.海利從外套口袋裡拿出一疊錢，塞進沃克先生手裡。那筆錢不少，亨利的父親放進口袋之後明顯鼓起一塊。接著，湯姆．海利給他一張名片。 打給我。He said.隔陣子就打通電話給我，我會讓你知道他過得如何。如果事情順利的話，也許能賺不少錢，我會再匯錢給你或是 我不想談這些。沃克先生說。 好，那麼湯姆．海利說。 我想說再見，至少我可以跟兒子道別吧？ Tom.海利沒有回答。他沒搖頭，也沒眨眼，也沒聳肩，他假裝根本沒聽見，眼睛直視前方，望向遠處，過了一會兒，才收回目光去看沃克先生方才所站之處。沃克先生已經走了。 雪下得更大了。雪球已碎，他們新做了一個又一個，規規矩矩的丟球遊戲漸漸轉為一場混仗，亨利中球多次，也多次成功擊中別人，大家都笑得好開心。他樂在其中，玩得渾然忘我，快樂到完全沒意識到自己此刻非常快樂。雪下得很急，沒幾分鐘整個公園就變得白茫茫一片，亨利從沒見過這麼多雪。接著風開始吹，氣溫驟降，孩子們都跑回去取暖，亨利也本能地跟著跑，直到大家消失在風雪中，他才停步，獨自一人悵然若失。 就在這個時候，他看見了薩巴斯欽先生。他的眼光穿越了紛飛大雪，看見薩巴斯欽先生出現在公園的另一邊，等著他。他依然以那種不變的姿態等他，坐在同一把椅子上，穿著同樣的服裝，就好像依然身處七○二號房裡似的。在白茫茫的雪中，薩巴斯欽先生顯得更白了，也許與其說白，更貼切的是沒有顏色。他彎起食指，要亨利過去。她是我的了。He said.過去是你的，現在是我的。過來吧，我讓你瞧瞧。亨利向他走去，但越走卻離他越遠，他顏色也越來越淡。走著走著亨利跑了起來，然後絆了一跤，一頭栽進雪裡。他爬起來繼續跑，可是風越來越急，雪越來越大，薩巴斯欽先生的幻影終究在亨利趕到之前完全消失了。他早料到結果會如此，薩巴斯欽先生最擅長的就是消失。 但這年頭誰不會消失呢？似乎所有亨利認得的人都有這種能力。先是媽媽，再是妹妹，現在呢，他知道輪到爸爸了。打從一個人往公園走那刻起，他就心裡有數，再也不會見到父親，或者短時間內不會再見，老實說時間多久他也不在乎了。這就是人家所謂的命中注定吧。他回頭望了一眼，最後一眼，然後不再回頭，一眼就夠了。也許是因為他失去的事物已經太多，所以這回沒那麼難受。失去某些東西令人感到沉重，失去某些東西令人感到輕鬆，這次的損失讓亨利如釋重負。那天下午回湯姆．海利公寓的路上，亨利覺得自己輕得都快要飄起來了，他父親離開的地方留下了一個洞，世界就從此洞展開，洞外明亮的新世界陽光燦爛。 Tom.海利摟著亨利的肩膀，靜靜走在雪中，良久才說：我們來找點東西吃如何？亨利點點頭。聽來是個好主意。 然後他們走呀走，要找一間白人黑人可以同桌吃飯的餐廳。 那花了不少時間。 Henry.walker.我想我們恐怕再也不會見到 【日誌在此突兀地結束了。 】