Chapter 4 fourth counseling session

Doctor, how was your Christmas?I hope you received the gift from Santa Claus.Every week to deal with a showman like me, he should reserve a guaranteed spot for you on the list of kind people.Me?Although I avoided festive activities with good intentions, the festivities came to me automatically.I kid you not, a few Boy Scouts actually knocked on my door selling Christmas trees.Maybe I was inspired by the wreath you hung on the door, or maybe it was just because the Scouts were brave enough to knock on the only door with no Christmas lights on, so I bought one.I always get soft-hearted when I see boys in uniform.

The thing is, my mom clears all my ornaments and every time I think about going to the store I'd rather dance barefoot with broken ornaments even if people don't stare at me like I've grown a dwarf from my ass , and don't want to go into the store during Christmas.The Christmas tree was standing in the corner without any decorations on it, and it looked bleak. The more I looked at it, the more annoying it became, so I simply dragged it to donate it to the shelter in the city, and gave it to homeless people who like Christmas trees. Alas, it's useless to keep it anyway, and there will be no gifts under the tree.I told my relatives and friends not to give gifts, and I also said that I would not participate in the Christmas celebration.This, I consider myself a Christmas present to the general public.There is no need to affect everyone's mood.Compared with last year's Christmas, this year is considered a big success.

The morning after the pervert failed to rape me, he forced me to shower with him.He treats me like a child, bathes me, never spares an inch, Then ask me to help him wash from head to toe. When he was shaving, he told me to stand facing the wall, with my back to him.I long to snatch that razor.I really want to cut off his cock.This time, he didn't shave me.Shaving is reserved for bath time, he says.After taking a shower, he held the clothes for me to wear. Where's my suit? Don't worry, you won't have to go into the office again.he smiles. Today he chose sexy lingerie again, a white wedding dress, and a small dress with a cream-colored background and a small pink heart-shaped pattern printed on it, which has a country style.This kind of dress is too ladylike and cute for me, and I definitely can't see it.He put me on thin slippers and told me to sit on a stool while he prepared breakfast cereal with dried blueberries.As I ate breakfast, he sat across from me, explaining the new rules point by point.No, he first explained how dire my situation was.

There are no people within a few kilometers of this house, so even if you escape, you can survive in the wild for two or three days at most.If you're worrying about how we're going to live, don't worry, I'm fully prepared.We can grow vegetables to support ourselves.The only time you get to be alone is when I go hunting or go downtown to buy groceries.I secretly cheered for being able to enter the city, indicating that he has a car. You'll never find that van, and even if you do, I guarantee you won't be able to start it. How long are you going to lock me up?Sooner or later your money will run out.

His smiling mouth opened wider. You have no reason to bully me like this, nor can you bully my family.As long as you let me go, whatever you want me to do, I promise everything I swear I will do whatever you ask. It's not that I haven't played with women's tricks before, and the results are not ideal, so I won't make the same mistake again. Is there another woman in the back of the van, that blanket smells of perfume?Shouldn't it be you This is a great gift that fell from the sky, don't you understand?Annie, this is your chance for redemption. I can't understand what you're saying, and I can't make any sense.Why are you kidnapping me?

He shrugged.The opportunity has come and you are right in front of you.Sometimes good things happen to good people. What good is that?This is wrong.I glared at him.you can't just isolate people Who did I separate you from?your boyfriend?Didn't we discuss him?your mother?Generally speaking, I find ordinary people boring, but watching your mother and daughter interact at lunch is intriguing.A person's body language reveals a lot of information.What you really care about is your dog. I have a normal life to live. where?You are just fooling around.Fortunately, I gave you a chance to regenerate.It is suggested that you concentrate a little and the chance of regeneration will not come twice.After breakfast every day is our exercise time, and then take a shower.We showered before breakfast this morning, but we'll have to stick to our schedule in the future.

He went to the closet and unlocked it. I'll help you choose what to wear today.He picked up two dresses similar to the one I was wearing, one full of hollow dark blue hearts on a powder blue base, and the other a simple pale pink dress.My aversion to pink is unabated.The top shelf of the closet is filled with several stacks of dresses of roughly the same style, but in different colors.He took out a violet cardigan from the inside.The winter on the mountain is colder. On the lower layer are several sets of men's clothing, similar in style to the beige jacket and trousers he wears.I saw two or three beige sweaters next to this layer.He noticed the direction of my gaze, smiled and said: You are the only color I need, put on your clothes after speaking.

After you are dressed, I will go out to do things. Your task is to do housework.You do the dishes, make the beds, and do the laundry.He took a plate from the cupboard and banged it on the counter.Amazing, right?It's the same company that makes plastic cups.Next, he took a pot from the cupboard and held it in a swinging motion.Light as a feather and built in one piece.Don't know how it's made.He shook his head. The counter doesn't need to be wiped, just leave it to me to spray the cleaner.He unlocked the underside of the sink and took out a bottle of household cleaner.I noticed the words Eco friendly but couldn't recognize the brand.

I would lock up the cleaner.You are not allowed to boil hot water, and you are not allowed to touch the knives and forks that I think are unsafe.After finishing the cleaning task, you automatically go to wash your hands.Your nails are a mess now, go and cut them, and I will file them for you.Your feet should be soft and your toenails should be well-polished.Women should have long hair, so I'll put on lotion for you to grow your hair.You don't have to make up. Get up at seven o'clock every morning, lunch is exactly twelve o'clock, and you read the book I stipulated in the afternoon.I'll check on your chores at five and dinner at seven.After dinner, you do the cleaning and then read to me.After the reading time, I'll give you a shower and turn off the lights at ten.

He showed a small pocket watch with something like a chronograph on it, hanging from a key ring and putting it in his front pocket.There is no clock in the cabin, so unless he tells me the time, I have no way of knowing what time it is. I only allow you to go to the toilet four times a day, and you must be supervised each time, and the bathroom door is not allowed to close.Hey, he looked at his pocket watch.It's time for your first bathroom break.I took the long detour through the kitchen, putting as much distance between me and him as possible.Annie, don't forget, don't close the toilet door.

After I was locked up for two or three days, I decided to pee secretly while he was out.He came in just after flushing the toilet, so the water tank still made the sound of water. I stood by the bed, pretending to make the bed, thinking that he might not hear the sound of the toilet, but unfortunately he went into the kitchen and turned on the faucet, and was about to use a cup He picked up the water, but stopped and tilted his head to listen, and then went into the bathroom.In less than a few seconds, he stomped on the floor and walked over, his face was red and his lips were twisted like a mad dog.I shrank in the corner first, and then tried to rush past him, but he grabbed my hair. He dragged me into the toilet, forced me to kneel in front of the toilet, then lifted the toilet lid and pressed my face into the toilet.I hit my forehead against the toilet seat.He grabbed my hair, pulled my head up, used the cup in the other hand to fill the toilet, then squatted behind me, forced me to look up, and put the cup into my mouth. I tried to move my face away, but my lips were pressed against the cup with such pressure that I thought it was going to burst.Some of the water got into my mouth, some ran into my nostrils, and before I could spit it out, he covered my mouth and I had to swallow. After that, he fined me to brush my teeth twenty times, and he recited the number of times beside me, and then told me to open my mouth for him to check my teeth.Next, he made me rinse my mouth with warm salt water ten times.The grand finale was him scrubbing my lips with wet soap until at least two layers of skin had come off me.I no longer dare to secretly go to the toilet. Doctor, I always feel like I'll never get out of those morbid rules he made.His rules are morbid enough.I understand that the rules he set can no longer control me, but the rules have been locked into my mind, and I can't move.In addition to his rules, I also added a few in my mind. Before that, some of my daily eccentricities not only ran out, but also expanded twenty-fold. Now I have become a weirdo who synthesizes all kinds of eccentricities. Every time I drive to see you, my route remains the same, I buy coffee at the same coffee shop.I always hang my coat on the same hook and sit in the same place before coming into your clinic for treatment.My best routine before going to bed is to lock the front and back doors, close all the curtains, and lock every window.Then I turn on the water and take a bath, and shave my legs first on my left foot, then on my right foot, and finally on my armpits. After I take a shower, I apply lotion all over my body, and finally before I go to bed, I double-check the doors and windows, block the door with canned food, and double-check that the alarm is set.Blocking the door with cans prevents the alarm from going off.Finally I made sure there was a knife under the bunk and a can of pepper spray on the nightstand. It’s time to go to bed at night, I often lie on the bed, listening to the big and small movements, but I can’t fall asleep, so I have to get up, drag the blanket and crawl into the closet to avoid being peeped by bad guys outside the window.Then I covered the quilt and put the shoes directly in front of me. The last time you told me about my habitual actions, it probably gave me a sense of security. I noticed that you told me a few times that this is worth thinking about and whether you have considered it. It seemed like you were talking casually, but in fact you deliberately sneaked in.As long as you don't start asking endless questions, we'll be fine.But I swear to God, if you dare to ask me how I feel, I will leave without saying a word and never come back. Back to the topic of habitual actions.At first, I thought your analysis was outrageous, but after thinking about it later, I realized that the routine steps before going to bed really made me feel safe, and it was ironic to say the least.During the time when I was kidnapped up the mountain, I was always in fear, like riding a roller coaster through hell, and the control switch was in the hands of the demon god.But the habit step is the only way I can maintain the status quo. Every day I break out of restrictions a little bit. Some restrictions are easier to get rid of, and some restrictions cannot be shaken off.Last night I drank nearly 4,000 cc of tea and squatted on the toilet for nearly an hour. Exaggerated, it actually felt like an hour trying to force myself to pee outside the stipulated time, and finally squeezed out a little bit, feeling like God, I'm about to piss out, but unfortunately my bladder doesn't work.The only result of last night's experiment was that I lost sleep all night again. Having said that, I have said enough for today.I want to go home and pee.No, I don't want to use the toilet here.If I go into your toilet, I will definitely sit on the toilet, thinking of you guessing whether I can pee outside the door.No need, thank you.