Chapter 26 Twenty-sixth psychological consultation

Sorry, I missed my appointment last time because I went to see my mother and it took some time to get up again afterwards.The funny thing is, after I went to see her, I really wanted to hide in the closet and go to sleep that night.I stood outside the closet, clutching the pillow with one hand, hesitated for a long time, but knew that when the closet door opened, my healing process would be a step backward, so I lay back on the bed and fantasized about your clinic.I told myself I was lying on your couch and you were taking care of me.That's how I fell asleep. The police took my mom back to the same interrogation room, and she made eye contact with me briefly, then she looked away and sat down across from me.She was wearing a baggy gray jumpsuit with rolled up cuffs and trousers. The color of the prison uniform set off her skin lifelessly. I haven't seen my mother without makeup for many years.The corners of her mouth drooped, lacking a pretty pink lip balm, her lips appeared pale, and the line between her lips and the skin was hard to distinguish.

My heart was tap-dancing in my chest, and my mind was debating what to say: Uh, whoa, Mom, why are you asking someone to kidnap me?I don't even know if I want to hear her answer or not.But before I could speak, she said: What did Val say? This was beyond my expectation, and I said: She has left a message, but I haven’t left a message yet. You are not allowed to tell her anything. What? Let's wait until we discuss our next steps. us?Mom, you're on your own now.I'm here just to hear your explanation of your motives. Gary, you know it all.Annie, you must help, you are my only chance

Why am I helping you?You spend money to find someone to kidnap and hurt me, and then you wrong!I didn't tell him to hurt you it just the whole thing went wrong, terribly wrong, and now she's holding her head on her hands. Now my life is messed up and you're in a cell.You cover it up, Mom. She raised her head and looked around with panicked eyes.It can't be like this, Annie.I can't stay here, I'm going to die.She leaned over to me and took my hand.If you can discuss it with the police, I will tell you that you will not file a complaint, or explain that you can understand my last resort

I can't forgive, Mom.I pull my hand back. I can't think of any other way. You can't always be compared. It was my fault? You can see most clearly how your aunt treats me.She despises us. I also saw the way you treated her, but she didn't ask someone to kidnap her daughter, right? She said with tears: Annie, you don't understand, you don't understand what I'm suffering, she couldn't go on. This has something to do with DeWitt, right? silent. If you don't tell me, I can ask Auntie Weier directly. Mom leaned on the table.You can't ask her, she will use this kind of thing to open the door of the interrogation room and a policeman pokes in.Is everything all right in there?

I said: We are fine.After Mom nodded, the police closed the door. The media has probably found Auntie, you should know, right? Mom's shoulders stiffened. The reporter will want to dig out all the details about you, what you were like when you were a child, what happened to you when you were a child, and how you became such a bad mother when you grew up. I am a good mother, and my mother is far and wide.Val would never tell a reporter about our childhood.She lives in a perfect world and doesn't want anyone to know what she did as a child.Her tone turned thoughtful.She doesn't want to be known.A fingernail started tapping on the table.

I was full of fear.Mom, this is messed up enough, stop She leaned over from the table.Our father loves her the most, but ah, she is our stepfather's favorite.She smiled bitterly.Our mom caught her husband sleeping with one of her daughters, and Val told her it was me.Before I could argue, everything was thrown on the front lawn and my stepfather was kicked out of town.If it wasn't for Dewitt's kindness, I would have become a homeless person living in a cardboard box. Dewitt? After I was kicked out, I moved in with him.I went to the restaurant to serve dishes, he went to the construction site to lay bricks, and then our brains moved to the bank.Her eyes lit up.After he was arrested, I worked two shifts a day to barely make ends meet.Then Val brought a guy she'd just met to me, bragging about the wonderful mansion his parents lived in, and the prosperity of their jewelry store.

dad. We were silent for a moment. After Dewitt got out of prison, we were supposed to be reunited, all we needed was a little money.Unfortunately, he was caught again, so I told him I couldn't wait any longer.I marry Wayne.She shook her head.I didn't think I had luck until you were close to securing the Waterfront Building sale.But then I heard that Christina was secretly fighting with you.Her skills in selling houses are much better than yours.Words leaked from between her teeth.If you lose the fight, Val will look down on me for the rest of my life. So you decided to ruin my life?

If the plan is carried out smoothly, you will be the one who benefits, and you will be rich and honored for the rest of your life.Unfortunately, every step goes wrong.Wayne was a wimp, but at least Dewitt helped a little. Did he snatch that convenience store for you? She nodded.I'm giving the filmmaker your number because you've been stalling and I need to raise money to pay the loan sharks.I don't know where DeWitt is now. Don't you care what you caused me to suffer? I hate what that man did to you, but my original idea was that you'd only disappear for a week, Annie.What happened after that was all accidents.

Speech, how can you use the accident as an excuse?You paid someone to rape me and killed my child! It's not like you want ice cream, so you ask your dad to get it. These words echoed in the air for a while before I slowly understood, and it took another long while before I could speak. You are referring to the car accident. She nodded.It's not your intention to want them killed. My chest constricted, all the air was leaking from my body, my heart ached, I thought for a moment I was having a heart attack, then I broke out in a cold sweat and started shaking.I searched her face, hoping I'd misunderstood her, but she returned justice with a satisfied expression.

With tears in my eyes, I choked up and said: You really blame me for their death.The kidnapping plan was actually for you, you of course not. yes.You are always thinking of yourself.I started to cry aloud.That's why you don't care You didn't listen, Annie.I know you just want to eat ice cream and don't intend to get them killed.As for me, I never intended to cause you any trouble, I just hope that Val will stop looking down on me. I was still dizzy by her words, and she said again: But no matter how proud she is, she won't be proud for long.A lawyer will come over to discuss with me tomorrow.She stood up and began to pace the table.I noticed that the color had returned to her cheeks.I will tell the lawyer what kind of sister Val was when she was a child, what shameful things she did with her stepfather, what life has been like since I was kicked out, what she always used to hit me was verbal abuse ah.She paused abruptly and turned to face me.On the day of the court, I guess she will come.Then I'll wait for her to sit in court and watch my lawyer

Mom, if you take this case to court, you will definitely ruin my life again.The judge would summon me to appear in court to explain the case, and asked me to describe how the gangster raped me. She continued to pace.That's great!Must make Val testify in court, make her describe the bad things she did. mom.She stopped and looked at me. I said: don't do this to me. It's none of your business, Annie. I opened my mouth to argue, but when I understood what she said, I froze.She was right.In the end, whether she was seeking money, whether it was the media focus, or whether she completely destroyed her sister was not the point.I'm just a supporting player in this whole thing.I was never the main character.The protagonist is either she or the psycho.I don't even know which one is more vicious. I stood up and walked to the door when she said: Where are you going? go home.I never stop. Annie, stop. I turned around, shrinking my neck to face the onslaught of tears, to hear her repeated sorry, don't leave me here. Instead, she said: Don't say a word to anyone until I have a chance to speak.Be careful with this, otherwise Oh my god, you really don't get the situation, do you? She stared at me blankly. I shake my head.You can never figure it out. When you come back, bring me a newspaper so that I Mom, I'm not coming back. Her eyeballs were wide open.But, I need you, Annie Bear. I knocked on the door and said to her at the same time: No need, you should be fine.Then wait for the police to open the door.As soon as I went out, I stumbled towards the bench by the opposite wall. After the policeman locked the door, he came and asked me if it was all right and if I wanted Gary to come over.I said I only needed a few minutes and he walked away. I counted the bricks on the wall until my pulse eased, then stepped out of the police station. The newspaper found out that I went to visit my mother in the detention center, and the next day it used a huge headline to speculate about the content of the mother-daughter conversation.Christina left me a message saying that if you want to talk to someone, you can call me day and night.She tried to hide it, but I could hear the hurt in her tone because I didn't tell her about my visit to Mom.Auntie Val also left a message, in a stammering way, which made me wonder how much she knew.But I didn't return the phone calls of these two people, and I will not respond to any messages if you need to talk heart-to-heart.What is there to talk about?The case is over.Mom is the host and the end of the show. Two or three days later, I put my art school profile on my nightstand.The next morning, I saw the profile and thought, damn it, if I want to pursue my dream, it’s no good if I don’t have money.Thinking of this, I gave in and called the female producer.We had a nice talk.I was not wrong, her thoughts are indeed delicate, and it sounds like she will respect my wishes.Although she represents a Hollywood production, she speaks like a normal person. I still have my doubts about making films, but I know that sooner or later my story will be on the screen.Instead of letting other people benefit from it, it is better for me to take the lead.What's more, the plot of the film is not the original truth, but the Hollywood version of me. When the film is released in the cinema, it is just a play, not my life story. I made an appointment with the female producer to meet her and her boss in a week.The amount proposed by the other party is so large that I can live a stable life for the rest of my life. As soon as I hung up, I called Christina.She thought I wanted to talk about my mother, but I was talking about applying to an art school in another city. She was dumbfounded after hearing this, and I guess she was too surprised to speak.Seeing that she was reluctant to speak again, I said: Remember, the room in the Rocky Mountains?The school I miss in high school. I remember.I just don't know why you picked to go now. Her tone was unremarkable, but I could detect a dark undercurrent of disapproval beneath her words.Even in high school, she didn't completely agree with me going to study abroad, but I just felt that she was reluctant for me to go.Why won't she let me go this time?I don't know, but I know I don't want to hear reasons. Because I want to, I say.It would be even better if you could help me sell the house. your house?Are you selling your house already?Are you sure?don't want to rent out first I'm sure.I'd like to use these few weeks to refresh, but I'd like to get the paperwork done as soon as possible.When can you come over? She was silent for a few more seconds, then said: I can probably go there this weekend. She came over to my house on Saturday morning.After I filled out the form, I told her about the school, how I was looking forward to it, how I wanted to drive over to visit it the next day, and how great it would be to get out of this mess.She didn't mean to object, but her reaction was subdued. After business was done, we sat side by side on the front steps in the morning light.I have another thing to communicate with her. I said: You came to my house that night and forced me to paint the walls. Then you wanted to tell me something, and I wouldn’t let you do it.I probably know what you're trying to say.Her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed.You don't have to take it to heart.I'm not mad at you or at Luke.Anyway, bird things happen every day. Just that one time, I swear, her tone panicked.I drank too much with him that day, and there was no emotional component.At that time, he and I were both sad about your matter, and no one else could understand our feelings. it's okay.real.During this turmoil, all of us have done things we regret, but I really don't want you to regret it.Maybe this kind of thing will happen sooner or later, once it happens, it's over, and it doesn't matter now. Are you sure?I feel very I won't take it to heart, really.Don't worry about it too, okay?please.I nudged her shoulder with my shoulder and made a face at her.She grimaced back, and then the two of them fell silent, watching a young man and woman push a pram through the end of my driveway. I heard your mother tell people everywhere that before you were kidnapped, I wanted to steal your building sales, but she said it after a long time. Yes, she told your assistant to tell a friend of hers that you secretly competed with me from the beginning, but I know this is probably another lie she made up. In fact, part of what she said was true.The construction company really asked me to write a proposal, and also asked me to meet twice.I thought they were negotiating with another agency, and then I heard you mention it one day, and then I realized that you were also trying to get the same marketing deal.I quit as soon as I heard that, and the construction company didn't contact me until after you disappeared. you quit?Why? If you want performance, you can't be shameless.To me, your friendship is more important than performance. Why didn't you say it earlier?If I had known earlier, I would take the initiative to withdraw and let you fight for it.You have much more experience than me, and you have been waiting for this good opportunity for a long time. Christina said: That's why I didn't tell you I knew we were going to fight over getting out first. After laughing out loud, Christina fell silent again, looking at my yard. The house is really nice.Damn, I know what she's going to say next. It is very good, I believe someone will fall in love at first sight. But you love this house, Anne, and it's a pity to sell it Christina, stop talking. She was quiet for a moment, and sat stiffly beside me.Then she shook her head. No, I don't respect your opinion this time.In the past few months, I have been obedient to you and stood by while you were suffering alone.I don't want to let you run away, Anne. escape?Damn, how did it involve escaping?Christina, I finally pulled myself together.I thought you would be happy for me. Sell ​​your beloved house?Instead of going to a first-class school that is only an hour's drive away, go to art school in the Rocky Mountains?How does that count as cheering up?You said it yourself, you just wanted to let go of everything. The house I want to sign up for is my childhood wish, and this house reminds me of every bit of my life, including my mother. That's right, Annie, you've wanted to leave your mother as far away as possible since you were a child.Do you think leaving her will stop the pain?What happened to you is not something that can be written off simply by running away. Are you looking for my happiness?You think I'm trying to forget what happened to me? Yes, it's a pity you can't forget.That thing goes into your head every day, doesn't it?You can't trust me, and you refuse to complain to me, but my heart is pierced like a knife.You actually think I can't bear it. It's not a question of whether you can bear it, the question is that I can't bear it.Even in front of a psychiatrist, I can hardly speak, how can I say it loudly to my confidant?How can I tell what he did to me, what I did and see your eyes become Do you feel ashamed?Is it this way?Annie, you are not to blame for that incident. Why don't you blame me?Don't you understand?Yes, you do not understand, you cannot understand.Because you have never had the same experience. How can you say such a thing?God, Anne, you survived a year in the shadow of a madman and had to kill him to escape, while I couldn't even give up my marriage. marriage?What happened to you? Things are not looking good for Andrew and I.We are discussing divorce. Oh, why didn't I hear you It was you who asked to only bring up light topics, remember?Marriage is on the verge of breaking up, how can it be considered an easy topic?She shrugged.There was a rift between us before you were kidnapped, and it has gotten worse over the past year. for me? Partly yes.In order to find your whereabouts, I am really exhausted physically and mentally, but before you disappeared, I was tired of the real estate agency business, and you know best that I have no time to do other things.I thought changing a house would give me a new look, but I didn't expect her to shrug again. A month before I was taken away, they bought a house, and she kept talking about the couple shopping together to buy new furniture. I thought they were still inseparable. I've changed a lot, Anne.After you disappeared, I had nightmares every night, which lasted for nearly a month, and I never dared to do open house sales again.Last week a strange man called and asked me to show him a vacant house, and I referred him to a male real estate agent. For a whole year, everything centered on search and rescue operations. Later, I was finally persuaded by Andrew to take a cruise ship to relax. You are lying in the hospital, but I can't accompany you.After you go home, you are still far away and I miss you so much.Also, I can no longer escape marital problems, and Andrew wants to see a marriage counselor, and I don't know what to do. She began to cry, and I stared at the grass, blinking, holding back my tears. This thing, this terrible thing, didn't just happen to you, it happened to everyone who cared about you.We are not the only ones affected, the entire town has been affected and even female compatriots across the country have been affected.Many people's lives have changed since then, not just you. I started counting the blades of grass. None of this is your fault at all.I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and others feel the same way.That's why I can understand why you want to escape, and I also want to escape far away, but you must stand firm and face the status quo.I love you, Annie, and love you as my own sister, but since the first day I knew you, although you have opened your heart to me, you have always treated me as an outsider.Now, you are about to cut me clean.You want to give up everything, just like him. he?who? that man. What are you talking about, Christina?Why are you comparing that bastard to me? He can't take it anymore, can he?Living with so many people in the world was too much for him, and he finally chose to escape I didn't choose to escape, I just forgot the past and built a new life for myself.Don't compare what he did with my wish.This concludes our conversation. She stares at me. You walk slowly. You see, Annie, that's what you do, just run away.I told you what was on your mind and touched your sore spots. You couldn't stand it, you couldn't face it. The only thing you could do was to push me away. I got up, went into the house, and slammed the door.A few minutes later, I heard her car leave. That same night, Gary called to tell me that the police had uncovered loan sharks and were gathering evidence against him.Gary also told me that my mother has a constant stream of visitors, and all invitations to interviews are accepted on a case-by-case basis. As expected, I said. .However, I have something unexpected to tell you.I said that I could finally go to dream. That's great, Anne!It seems that you have found your way. Fortunately, his point of view is different from that of Christina.I said I almost found it.And you? Recently, I am also thinking about the way out.A teacher in the training class wanted to set up a consulting company and invited me to be a partner. He promised that I could live wherever I wanted, and that I often had the opportunity to travel and give speeches, and I could decide on the time of vacation. Hey, don't you like your current job? I thought so, but after closing your case, I started to doubt it.In addition, I don't know about the divorce, I just think that now is the right time to change the track. I smile.Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.By the way, your coat is still with me. I know.Not urgent.I bought a new Yukon Denali SUV Wow, changing the track is no joke.Strange, don't men who encounter a midlife crisis play sports cars? Hey, once I decide to do something, I will never talk about it, don't play tricks on me.What I just wanted to say is that I'm considering finding a weekend to drive a new car and go out and get around.If the car drives to the Rocky Mountains, or when you come back to court, I want to buy you a coffee, or buy you a lunch or something. Moving, starting school, I'm afraid it will be very busy. As I said just now, there is no rush. Will you bring peanut butter? Uh, maybe.He hehe smiled. Give me some scoops. The next day, I got up early in the morning and drove to school.What a relief to be out of town, even if only for a day or two!The Rocky Mountain landscape is majestic and majestic this time of year.I admired the majestic mountains of the sky, and almost forgot about the quarrel with Christina.I lowered the windows across the board to welcome the clean, warm air of rosin to the interior.Emma in the backseat stuck her head out of the window otherwise she was too busy licking my neck.As I approached the school, I slowed down and saw the ornate Tudor buildings with the Rocky Mountains in the background.I was overjoyed by the sight.There will be a new atmosphere when you move here. After parking the car, I took Emma around the campus.There were two girls doing stretching exercises on the lawn, one of them looked up and saw me, and greeted each other with a smile.It's been a long time since I've had a smile from a stranger.However, she didn't look away, but continued to look at me, and I knew she recognized my face.When I turned to walk away, she was elbowing a friend next to me.I drove Emma into the car and went to the registration team myself. Registration for the semester starting in September has already ended, so I filled out the application form for the next semester, which will start in January next year.I didn't bring a portfolio, but fortunately I brought a sketchbook to show to my tutor.He said that I should be able to pass, and suggested which ones I should choose and attach the registration form.I'm a little disappointed that it's still a few months before school starts, but my tutor says I can take a few evening classes to warm up first. On the way home, I was thinking about moving, but when the car approached Clayton Falls, Christina said you were trying to escape the sound that bothered me.She actually had the guts to scold me, I still can't believe it.What the hell does she know?And said I was not alone in my suffering.Of course I was alone.My daughter is dead, my father is dead, my sister is dead, and my mother is dead.How can Christina judge anything I do? You are trying to escape. A few hours later, I parked in Kristina's driveway, headed straight for her door, and knocked hard. annie! Is Andrew at home? No, he went to a friend's house to borrow.What's up? Christina, you have endured a lot of turmoil these days, I can understand you, but you have no right to control my life.Life is mine, not yours. ok anne i just Can't you mind my own business?You have no idea of ​​the hardships I have suffered. Yes, I have no idea, because you refused to tell me. How can you say that to me?My mother had me kidnapped, Christina. Yes, she is asking someone to kidnap you. She cheated on me. She lied to everyone. She dropped me on the mountain.alone. Completely alone. My biological mother did this to me. Biological mother, Anne. Now, she is in jail, and there is no one around me.not even one. You have me. At this time, I finally collapsed. When I was crying, Christina didn't hug me, just sat next to me, leaning shoulder to shoulder, listening to me crying about my mother's injustice, listening to me tell about the unfair treatment I suffered since childhood, and listening to me count Broken dreams and unfulfilled visions.Every time I finished talking about a difficulty, Christina would nod and say, yes, she did that to you.It's not right to do that.I have wronged you. Finally, my crying died down to fitful sobs, and then a strange peace overwhelmed me. Christina said: Well, you go and put Emma out of the car, and I will make a pot of tea for us. We changed into pajamas and Christina lent me her pajamas.Silky, she said with a smile, winning me a yes, of course, followed by a trembling smile.A full pot of tea arrived and we sat down at the kitchen table.I take a deep breath. My baby her name is Hope. (End of the book)