Home Categories romance novel Doomsday and Grim Wonderland

Chapter 21 21 Grim Wonderland Bracelet, Ben.johnson the devil

Doomsday and Grim Wonderland 村上春樹 18283Words 2023-02-04
Inside the closet was still as dark as last time.Maybe because of knowing the existence of night ghosts, I feel even more eerie and cold.At least nowhere else can such unbroken darkness be seen.This suffocating darkness presumably existed throughout the world before cities used street lights, neon lights, and display window lamps to tear the darkness from the earth. The girl led the way down the ladder.She put the night ghost jammer into the deep pocket of the raincoat, slung a large flashlight across her body, and slid down the dark bottom quickly on her long rubber boots, squeaking.After a while, a voice came from below with the sound of the water: "Okay, come down!"Immediately, the lights of the yellow croaker flickered.It seems that the bottom of this hell is much deeper than I imagined.I put the flashlight in my pocket and began to climb down the ladder.While climbing, I recalled the melody of the couple on the roller coaster and Peng Chacha.They didn't know anything, didn't know that I was going down to the bottom of the dark hole with a flashlight and a big knife and a belly wound.All they have on their minds are speedometer numbers, sexual premonitions, and half-baked pop songs plummeting from the charts.Of course I can't blame them, they just don't know.

If I, too, knew nothing, I could have been spared this misery.I imagined myself sitting in the driver's seat of a mountain bike, with a girl beside me, speeding along with the melody of Peng Chacha in the city under the night.Do girls take off the two thin silver bracelets on their left wrists during sex?Please don't take it off.Even if you take off all your clothes, you don't take off the two bracelets, just like it has become a part of the body. The problem is that she has a good chance of taking it off.Because girls have to remove all accessories when they shower.Then I would have to have sex with her before the shower, or beg her not to take off the bracelet.I don't know which way is right.But no matter what, I must do everything possible to make her have sex with me wearing a bracelet.This is the key.

I imagined sleeping in the same quilt with her wearing the bracelet.The face is completely out of memory.So I dimmed the indoor lighting, so I couldn't see the faces clearly.After tearing off the vine-colored or white or light blue exquisite and transparent briefs, the bracelet became the only attachment on her body.Under the dim light, the bracelet glowed white, and it made a heart-stirring sound on the bed sheet. While climbing down the stairs so dreamily, I felt my penis starting to rise under the raincoat, it was inexplicable!Why choose to be impulsive in this kind of place?Why does he hang his head down when he's sleeping with the girl from the library with the dilating stomach, but then he's strutting in the middle of this nondescript ladder?At best, there are only two silver bracelets. What is the meaning of them?And at a time when the world is about to come to an end!

I climbed down the ladder and stood on the rock.The girl flicked the flashlight around to illuminate the surrounding scene. Night ghosts really seem to be wandering around the area, she said, and can hear voices. sound?I asked. The puffing sound of hitting the ground with the gills.It's small, but you can still hear it if you pay attention.And the smell. I listened attentively and sniffed again, but I didn't feel anything unusual. It doesn't matter if you don't get used to it, she said, once you get used to it, you can hear their voices a little.It is said to be speech, but in fact it is only similar to sound waves. Of course, unlike bats, part of the sound waves can reach the audible range of humans.They can communicate with each other completely.

So how do signers deal with them?Is it impossible to communicate without language barrier? That kind of instrument can be made casually.That is to say, their sound waves can be converted into human voices, and human voices can be converted into their sound waves at the same time.It is estimated that the symbolists made it.If grandpa wanted to make it, of course it would be effortless, but he didn't do it after all. Why? Because I don't want to talk to them.They are evil, and the language is evil.They eat only carrion and spoiled garbage, and drink only stinking water.In the past, they lived under the cemetery and ate human flesh until cremation was carried out.

So don't eat living people? If you catch a living person, you have to soak them in water for a few days, and then swallow them sequentially from the rotting parts. That's all, I sighed, I really want to go back here, and let the world collapse! But we continued on along the river.She leads and I follow.The postage stamp-sized gold earrings shone brightly every time the flashlight shone on her back. Do you always wear such big earrings, don’t they feel heavy?I asked from behind. It's about getting used to it.She replied, the same as the penis, do you think the penis is heavier?

No, no, not that feeling. Same thing. We walked in silence for a while longer.It seems that she is very familiar with the foothold, and she is striding forward with a flashlight shining here and there.I confirmed my feet one by one, and followed behind with all my strength. I said, you wear that earring in the shower or bath too?In order to save her from being neglected, I added another voice.She only slowed down somewhat when she was talking. Also wear.She replied that only the earrings were still on when she was naked.Don't you think that's provocative? Even if it is, I am a little guilty, so it may be true.

Do you often do that kind of thing from the front?face to face? Ah, basically. Do you also do it from behind? Well, yes there is. In addition, there are many tricks, right?Such as doing it from below, or sitting, or using a chair People are different and situations are different. I don't know that kind of thing.The girl said that she had neither seen nor done it.No one taught me what was going on. That thing is not taught by others, but discovered by oneself.I said, after you have a lover and slept with him, you will understand naturally in this way. I don't really like that kind of sets.She said, I like it more, how should I put it, I like it more overwhelming.To be fucked like a mountain, to be accepted like a mountain.It's not so natural to understand.

You're afraid you spend too much time with older people, with people of genius and overwhelming quality. But not all people in the world are like that.All but mortals, groping their way through life in the dark, like me. You are different.you are OK.Did I say that the last time we met? But anyway, I was determined to get the sex scene out of my mind.The erection is still going strong.The problem is that it is meaningless to have an erection in this dark underground, and it will first affect walking. That is to say, this jammer emits sound waves that night ghosts hate?I try to change the subject.

Exactly.As long as it is emitting sound waves, the night ghost will not be able to approach it within about fifteen meters.So you have to be careful not to leave me fifteen meters. Or they'll drag you into a burrow, hang you down a well, and feast on the rotting parts first.You will rot from the belly wound first, for sure.Their teeth and claws are extremely sharp, almost a row of sharp cones. Hearing this, I quickly stuck behind her. Belly wound still hurts?asked the girl. After applying the medicine, it seems to be a little numb.The body moves so much that it hurts every time.Generally passable.I answer.

If you can see your grandfather, it will probably take your pain away. your grandfather?How could that be? Very simple.I also begged him to deal with it a few times, when my head hurt unbearably.Just input into consciousness the signals that cause the pain to be forgotten.Originally, pain is an important message to the body, so this approach cannot be used.But it's not a bad thing to be in an extraordinary situation right now, right? If so, it would be of great help!I said. Of course, this depends on whether you can see your grandfather. She swayed the powerful beam of light from side to side, and walked up the underground river with firm steps.The left and right rock walls are full of forked roads that suddenly flash like cracks and creepy horizontal holes.Water leached out of the rock crevices everywhere, converging into a trickle and flowing into the river.Moss, as slippery as mud, grew densely by the river.The moss was bright green, almost unnaturally green.I don't understand why moss, which cannot carry out photosynthesis, has such color.Probably the underground has its own wonderful laws. Hey, do night ghosts know we're walking this way? of course I know.The girl said in an understated tone, this is their territory, and they can't hide anything that happened. They are around us at this moment, watching us helplessly.I kept hearing a rustling sound. I shook the flashlight to the surrounding rock walls, but I saw nothing but uneven and strange-looking rocks and moss. All of them are hidden in dark places where the light cannot reach, such as fork roads or horizontal holes.The girl said, and some followed us. How many minutes has the jammer been on?I asked. The girl looked at her watch and replied ten.Ten and twenty seconds.It doesn't matter, we'll be at the falls in five minutes. We arrived at the falls in exactly five minutes.The silencer seemed to be still working, and the waterfall was almost as silent as last time.We put on our rain hats firmly, fastened our hat straps, buckled our goggles, and dived into the silent waterfall. Strange, the girl said, the noise reduction device is still working, indicating that the research room has not been damaged.If the night ghosts had attacked, they should have messed up the inside. I hated the laboratory to death. As expected, the door of the research room was locked and locked.If the night ghost breaks in, it is absolutely impossible to re-lock it when you leave. The one who raided here must be some force other than the night ghost. It took her a long time to align the combination lock and open the door with the electronic key.The research room was cold and dark, with a smell of coffee.She quickly closed and locked the door, and after confirming that everything was safe, she pressed the switch to turn on the light in the room. The scene in the research room is similar to the tragic situation in the above office and my residence.Documents were everywhere, furniture turned upside down, dishes smashed, carpet turned up and a bucket of coffee spilled on it.Why does the doctor make so much coffee?I just can't figure it out.No matter how addicted to drinking coffee, I will never be able to drink it alone. But the destruction of the research room is fundamentally different from the other two rooms: the destroyer strictly separates what should be destroyed from what should not be destroyed.They ruined it to the brim, and left nothing else at all.The computer, communication device, noise reduction device and power generation equipment are left there intact, and they can be started immediately by pressing the power switch.Only the large night ghost jamming sound wave transmitter was twisted off a few parts, making it unusable.But if new parts are installed, it can also be put into work immediately. The condition of the rooms inside was not much different.At first glance, it seems hopelessly chaotic, but in fact everything is done after careful calculation.The skulls on the shelf were in good condition, as were the measuring instruments needed to carry out the research.What was destroyed beyond recognition was limited to cheap instruments and experimental materials for which alternatives could be bought. The girl went to the wall vault and opened the door to see what was going on inside.The door was unlocked, and she took out white paper ash with both hands and sprinkled it on the ground. Looks like the emergency auto-combustion device is pretty effective, I said, and the guys came away empty-handed. Who do you think did it? people did it.I said that the symbolists or others colluded with the night ghosts to come here to open the door, and the only people who went in and searched here and there were people.In order to allow themselves to use this place afterwards, I think it is probably to allow the doctor to continue researching here, so they kept the key equipment intact, and re-locked the door to prevent night ghosts from coming. But they failed to get something important! possible.Saying that, I looked around the room, but they got your grandfather anyway.If you say it is more important than this.In this way, I have no way of knowing what the doctor has done to me, and I am completely helpless. No, no, the fat girl said, Grandfather will never be caught, don't worry.There's a secret passage here, and Grandpa must have escaped from there, using the same nightghost jammers we have. How do you see it? Although there is no conclusive evidence, I know it well.Grandfather is very cautious and cannot be easily captured.Once someone tried to pry the door into the house, he must escape through the passage. So the Doctor is now on earth? No, said the girl, it's not that simple.The exit of the passage is like a maze, and it is connected to the night ghost's lair, so it will take five hours to get out no matter how urgent it is.The night ghost jammer can only last for thirty minutes, so grandfather should still be inside. Or fall into the hands of night ghosts. Don't worry.Just in case, my grandfather kept a safe haven underground that the night ghosts would never approach.It is estimated that grandfather is hiding there, waiting for us to arrive. Really impeccable.I said, do you know that place? Well, I wonder.My grandfather told me the route to get there in detail, and there are also schematic diagrams in the manual, marking many dangerous points that should be paid attention to. What danger?for example? I think it's better that you don't know.The girl said, if you continue to inquire, some people will become too neurotic. I sighed, and had no choice but to stop asking about the danger that was about to befall me.I've become quite neurotic by now. How long will it take to get to the place that the night ghosts can't get close to? It takes 25 to 30 minutes to walk to the entrance.It was an hour to an hour and a half from the entrance to where my grandfather was hiding.As long as you get to the entrance, you don't have to worry about night ghosts anymore. The problem lies before you reach the entrance.You have to go fast, or the Nightghost Jammer's batteries will run out. What should I do if I run out? That's just luck.The girl said that she could use a flashlight to illuminate the body up, down, left, and right.Prevent night ghosts from approaching and escape from danger.Because night ghosts hate light.But as long as the light is interrupted, the night ghost will reach out and grab you and me. bad bad.I said weakly, is the jammer fully charged? The girl looked at the level meter, then at the watch: Another five minutes. Without further ado.I said, if my deduction is correct, the night ghost may have informed the symbolist that we are here, and the bastards will make a comeback soon. The girl took off her raincoat and rubber boots, put on the American army jacket and sneakers I brought, and said: You'd better change it too.Where I am going now, I can't pass without packing lightly. So I took off the raincoat like her, put the winter jacket over the sweater, and pulled the zipper up to the neckline.Then put on the backpack and change out of the rubber boots for sneakers.The hour hand was approaching half past twelve. The girl went to the inner room, took out the clothes hanger from the closet and put it on the floor, grasping the stainless steel handle of the clothes hanger with both hands and spinning it back and forth.During the normal rotation, the sound of the gears snapping together was heard.The girl continued to rotate in the same direction, and a hole 70 centimeters square appeared at the lower right end of the closet.Looking inside, I saw a thick black, as black as to swallow human hands, and a cool wind with a musty smell rushed straight into the room. Ingenious, right?Still holding the stainless steel handle with both hands, the girl turned her head and asked. It's really wonderful, I said, there is an exit in this place, how can ordinary people expect it.Really paranoid. Ouch, where can we talk about paranoia.The so-called paranoid refers to people who are rigidly rigid in one direction or tendency, right?Not so my grandfather, who excelled at everything from astronomy to genetics to this woodworking skill.She said that there is no second grandfather in the world.Many people were poured out on TV screens and magazine covers, and they were all fakes.A true genius is someone who keeps to himself in his field. The problem is, even if you keep your own place, the people around you will not allow you to do so.They want to break down your barriers of law-abiding and try their best to use your talents, which is why the current disaster happened.No matter what kind of genius or idiot, it is impossible for them to be truly self-contained.No matter how deep you are in the ground, no matter how high your walls are around you, someone will come and destroy them sooner or later, and your grandfather was no exception.Only in this way, my stomach was cut open with a knife, and the world will come to an end in thirty-five hours. As long as the grandfather is found, everything will be safe.As she spoke, she stood on tiptoe next to me and kissed me lightly on the ear.Being kissed by her like this, my whole body warmed up somewhat, and the pain seemed to have lessened.Maybe there is this peculiarity under my ears, or maybe it's just because I haven't been kissed by a seventeen-year-old girl for a long time.It was eighteen years ago that he accepted a kiss from a seventeen-year-old girl. If everyone believed that everything would go well, there would be nothing to fear in the world.she says. There's less and less to believe in as you get older, I say, like teeth wear out.Not cynicism, not paranoia, just wear and tear. Are you afraid? Scared.I bent down to peek into the hole again, never used to narrow and dark places. But there is no turning back, right? Logically.I said.I began to gradually feel that my body was no longer my own.Playing basketball in high school has always felt like this.The speed of the ball is too fast, the more you try to make your body adapt to it, the less your consciousness can keep up. The girl looked at the scale of the jammer and told me to go.Fully charged. As before, the girl leads and I follow.As soon as she entered the cave, the girl quickly turned around and quickly turned the handle next to the cave entrance to close the cave door.With the closing of the door leaf, the light entering from the square becomes thinner and thinner, and then becomes a vertical line, which suddenly disappears.Then a dense darkness that was more complete than before and never experienced surrounded me from all sides.Even the beam of the flashlight can't break the monopoly of darkness, it can only drill a small hole of light that is vaguely disturbing. It's unbelievable, I said, why did your grandfather choose the place where the escape route is connected to the night ghost's lair? Because it is the safest.The girl shone a flashlight on me and said that the night ghost lair is a sacred place for them, and they have no way to enter. Religious? Well, presumably.I haven't seen it myself, my grandfather said so.Grandfather said it was too disgusting to call it a religion, but it must be a religion.Their god is the fish, the giant eyeless fish.After all, she shone the flashlight forward. Anyway, go ahead, there is not much time. The roof of the tunnel is very low, so you have to stoop to walk.The rock wall is basically smooth, with few bumps, but sometimes the head is still heavily knocked on the protruding rock corners.And don't worry about it, after all, time is limited.I shone the flashlight on the girl's back impartially, stared at her, and moved forward desperately.Although she is fat, she moves very nimbly, her steps are fast, and her stamina seems to be quite good.Generally speaking, I am also considered strong and strong, but when I bent down, the wound on my lower abdomen hurt bursts, like an ice pick stuck in my abdomen, my shirt was already soaked in sweat, and my whole body was dripping with cold sweat.But compared to leaving her and being alone in this darkness, the pain is bearable. The more he walked forward, the more unstoppable his consciousness that the body was not his own.I think this is probably because I can't see my body.It can be said that you can't see your fingers. There is something strange about not being able to see your body.If you stay in this state for a long time, you may feel that the body is just a hypothesis.That's right, I felt pain when my head hit the roof of the cave, the wound in my abdomen tightened again and again, and the soles of my feet felt the ground.However, this is only pain and touch, and it is only a concept based on the assumption of the body.So it is not impossible for the body to disappear and the unique concept to function.For example, people who have their feet amputated by surgery still have the memory of the feeling of the toe tip after the amputation. Several times I tried to search my body with a flashlight to make sure it was still there, but I was afraid that I might not be able to find her.The body still exists, I said to myself, and if the body disappears and only the so-called soul remains, I should become more at ease.If the soul had to carry my bellyache, my stomach ulcer, and my hemorrhoids forever, where would it seek relief?And if the soul cannot be separated from the body, then what is the reason for the existence of the soul? As I wondered, I chased after the plump girl's olive-green combat jacket with its fitted pink skirt and pink Nike sneakers peeking out from under it.Her earrings flickered in the beams like a pair of fireflies flying back and forth around her neck. The girl didn't look back at me at all, and walked quickly in silence, as if she had already forgotten my existence.As she walked, she quickly scanned the sidewalks and cross holes with the light of her flashlight.Every time I reach a fork in the road, I stop, take out the map from my breast pocket, and use the light beam to confirm which way to go, then I can catch up. Does it matter?Are you on the right track?I asked. No problem, not bad at all right now.She answered firmly. How do you know it's not bad? Not bad is not bad.As he spoke, he shone his feet with a flashlight.Here, look at the ground! I hunched over and stared at the circular ground she illuminated.It was found that there were a few small things shining with silver light scattered in the depressions of the rocks.When I held it in my hand, it turned out to be a metal paper clip. Look, said the girl, grandfather is passing here.It was expected that we would catch up later, so we left this thing as a mark. really.I said. Fifteen minutes later, you have to go quickly! There are a few forks ahead, but every time there is a paper clip pointing, we can rush forward without hesitation, which also saves precious time. Sometimes the ground suddenly burst into unfathomable crypts.Fortunately, the location of the hole was marked with a red marker pen on the map, so we slowed down a little near there, and proceeded carefully on the ground with a flashlight.The diameter of the hole is about 50 to 70 centimeters, and it is easy to pass through by jumping over or going around.I picked up a fist-sized rock next to me and tried to throw it, but no matter how long it took, there was no sound, it was like falling into Brazil or Argentina.In case of slipping and falling into the hole, just thinking about it will make my stomach feel cramped. The road snakes usually turn left and right, and after branching out a few forks, they stretch out all the way down.The slope is not steep, it just keeps going downhill. It seems that every time you take a step, the bright world on the ground is peeled off from the back. We hugged once on the way.She stopped suddenly, turned back to turn off the flashlight, wrapped her arms around my body, touched my lips with her fingers, and kissed them.I also put my arms around her waist and hugged her gently.Hugging in the darkness is indescribable.Stendhal seems to have written something about Dark Shen Hug, I forgot the title of the book.I can't even think about it.Had Stendhal embraced a woman in the dark?If I get out of here alive, and the world isn't over, I'm going to have to find this book by Stendhal. The melon-type cologne smell on the girl's neck is no longer there, replaced by the unique smell of a seventeen-year-old girl, and my own smell comes out from the neck.It's the smell of my life on my American army jacket, the food I cook, the coffee I make, the sweat I make. They are tightly attached to the top of the jacket.And during the time I was hugging with a seventeen-year-old girl in the darkness of the underground, I felt in a trance that such a life had become a phantom that would never return.I can remember when it once existed, but I can't picture the return to where it came from. We held each other silently for a long time.Time flies, but I don't think this is a huge problem.We are sharing each other's fears by hugging.And that's the most important thing right now. Then, she pressed her breasts tightly against my chest, opened her lips, and stuck her soft tongue into my mouth with her warm exhalation.She licked around my tongue with the tip of her tongue and stroked my hair with her fingertips.But it lasted less than ten seconds and then suddenly left, so that I fell into the abyss of despair like an astronaut left alone in space. I turned on the flashlight and saw her standing there.She also turned on her flashlight. let's go.After she finished speaking, she turned around abruptly and started walking at the same pace.I still have the feel of hers on my lips, and the beating of her heart on my chest. My, it's pretty good, right?The girl asked without looking back. very nice.I said. Still wanting more, right? Yes, I replied, with a little more to say. What do you mean? have no idea.I said. After walking down the flat road for five or six minutes, we came to an empty place.The air smells different here, and so does the sound of footsteps.As soon as you clap your hands, there is a strange response like swelling in the middle. While the girl was pulling out the map to confirm the location, I kept using the flashlight to look around.The top is just dome-shaped, and the surroundings are correspondingly rounded, and it is obviously a smooth circle that has been artificially modified.The walls are very smooth, with no pits or bags.In the middle of the ground there is a shallow bottom with a diameter of about one meter, and inexplicable slippery things are piled up in the pit.It wasn't stinky, but there was a nauseous smell like bad breath in the air. This is probably the entrance to the sanctuary.The girl said, now I can take a breath, and the ghosts won't be able to get in the night before. If the night ghost can't get in, it's a wish, but can we pass? Leave it to grandpa.Grandpa has a way.Besides, if the two jammers are used alternately, the electricity can keep the night ghosts away, right?That is, while one jammer is working, the other is charging.Then there is nothing to be afraid of, and no need to worry about time. Makes sense. Do you have more courage to come up? A little bit.I said. On both sides of the entrance to the sanctuary, there are exquisite reliefs.The pattern is that two huge fish surround the ball with their mouths connected to each other.It is an incredible fish at first sight.The windshield of the bomber's head protrudes impressively, without eyes, replaced by two thick and long tentacles curling forward like vines.Compared with the body, the mouth is disproportionately large, and it has been cracked to the place close to the gills, and short, thick and strong organs, such as amputated forelimbs, protrude from the base of the lower fins.At first glance, it is thought to be a part with the function of a suction cup, but it turns out that there are three sharp claws on the end.This is the first time I have seen a fish with claws.The dorsal fin is oddly shaped, and the scales protrude from the outside like poisonous thorns. Is this a legendary creature?Or is it a real fish?I asked the girl. How to put it this way, the girl bowed and picked up a few paper clips from the ground. Anyway, we did not go wrong.Well, let's go in! I shine the flashlight on the fish cameo again, and follow the girl.It was a big shock to me that the night ghosts could complete such exquisite and delicate carvings in such impeccable darkness.Even knowing in my heart that they can see in the dark doesn't make the actual sight any less horrifying.Perhaps, right now, they are watching us intently from the depths of the darkness. After entering the sanctuary, the road turns into a gentle slope, and the top rises suddenly.After a while, the flashlight light can't reach the top. Now go into the mountains, the girl said, can you get used to climbing? Logged in once in the past week.I haven't logged in in the dark. It's not a big mountain, she stuffed the map into her breast pocket, it's not a mountain, it's just a small mountain.But to them are mountains, said the grandfather.This is the only mountain underground, the sacred mountain. Aren't we going to tarnish it then? No, on the contrary, the mountain was dirty to begin with.All the dirt is concentrated here.The whole world is like a Pandora's box sealed by the earth's crust, and we are about to go through the center. It was hell. Yes, Not Bad.It could really be like hell.The atmosphere here is blown to the surface through various caves and boreholes such as sewers.Although night ghosts cannot climb to the surface, the air can go up and enter people's lungs. Can we still survive after entering? be confident!As I said just now, as long as you are confident, you have nothing to fear.Pleasant memories, past admiration, crying scenes, childhood, future plans, favorite music, whatever, as long as these kinds of things are running through the mind, there is nothing to be afraid of. want this.Johnson can?I asked. Book.Johnson? John.An actor good at riding horses who appeared in an old film directed by Ford.The horse rides like a charm. She giggled happily in the dark and said: You are wonderful, I like you very much! There is a huge difference in age, I said, and I don't know any musical instruments. Come out from here and I'll teach you how to ride a horse. Thanks.I said, what are you thinking? Want to kiss you, she said, so I kissed you just now.have no idea? have no idea. Do you know what grandpa is thinking here? have no idea. Grandfather thought nothing of it.He can make the mind appear blank.This is also his genius. If the mind is blank, the evil air cannot enter. I see. As she said, the further you go, the more rugged and difficult the road becomes, and finally it becomes a steep rocky cliff that you have to use your hands to climb. I've been thinking about Ben all this time.Johnson, Ben the Rider.Johnson image. Ben is featured in "Abach Castle", "Yellow Ribbon", "Caravan" and "Castle Leograd".Shots of Johnson riding a horse, I try to keep them in mind.The scorching sun shines brightly on the wilderness, the sky is filled with pure white clouds like brush outlines, and bison gather in the valley.Women wipe their hands on white aprons at the door.The water is gurgling, the wind shakes the light and shadow, and men and women sing songs.Book.Johnson galloped through the scenery like an arrow.The camera moves infinitely on the track, bringing its majestic figure into the shot. While looking for a foothold on the cliff, I thought about Ben.Johnson and his horse.I don't know if this is the reason.The abdominal pain miraculously disappeared, and he was able to move forward calmly without being disturbed by the consciousness of the injury.Thinking about it this way, the girl's claim that the input of specific signals into the consciousness can alleviate physical pain is not necessarily exaggerated, I think. From a mountaineering point of view, this climb is definitely not difficult.The foothold is stable, there are no cliffs, and the stone pit suitable for grasping is within reach.Measured by the standards of the outside world, it can be said that the safe route is suitable for beginners, and it is not dangerous for elementary school students to climb alone on Sunday morning.But in the underground darkness, the situation is different.Needless to say, there was nothing to see at first.I don't know what's ahead, how long I have to climb, what position I'm in, what's going on under my feet, or whether the route I'm taking is correct.I had no idea that losing sight could bring such a level of horror.In some cases it even robs the standard of value, or the pride and courage attached to its existence.When people try to achieve something, it is natural to grasp the following three points: What achievements have been made in the past?How are you doing now?How much work will be done in the future?If all three are taken away, all that's left is fear, self-doubt, and fatigue.And that's exactly where I am now.Technical difficulty is not an important issue.The question is how much self-control is possible. We climb mountains in the dark.Unable to climb the rocky cliff with a flashlight in hand, he stuffed the flashlight into his trouser pocket.She also carried a flashlight on her back like a sash.We saw nothing in front of our eyes, only the flashlight dangling on her waist, shooting an illusory beam of light into the dark sky, and I used this as my goal to climb silently. Is it okay if she accosts me now and then to make sure I'm keeping up?almost there.etc. Don't sing a song?After a while, the girl said. What song is it?I asked. Anything is fine, as long as there is a melody and words.Sing it! Can't sing in front of people. Sing, what are you afraid of? Helpless, I sang "Fireplace": Burn it, sweet hearth on this snowy night burn it, fireplace Listen to us talk about the distant ancient times I can't remember the lyrics below, so I just make up the words and hum them.The general idea is that someone knocked on the door when everyone was baking in the fireplace. My father went out to see that it was an injured reindeer standing outside the door, saying that it was hungry and begging for something to eat, so he opened a can of peaches to satisfy his hunger.Finally, we all sat in front of the fireplace and sang together. Isn't this great, the girl praised, very brilliant, sorry I can't applaud. Thanks. Another one.she urged. I sing "Christmas in Hawaii": Christmas in Hawaii white snow Warm feelings give you one old dream that is my gift Dreamy Christmas in Shawve close your eyes now still haunting sleigh bells snow white great!She said, you wrote the lyrics? Just talking nonsense. Winter, snow, why do you always sing this? How can this be explained?I'm afraid it's because it's dark and cold, so I can only think of this.I lift my body from one cairn to another.This time it's your turn. How about singing "Bicycle Song"? please please. April morning i ride a bike along a strange road Stepping up to the forested hillside Just bought a bike whole body pink handlebar pink saddle pink all pink Even the brake pads also pink It's like singing yourself.I said. Of course, of course I sing myself.The girl said, don't you like it? Right in the middle of my arms. Still want to hear? certainly. April morning The most suitable is pink other colours not qualified Just bought a bicycle pink leather shoes pink hat pink The sweater is also pink all pink Pants pink underwear pink all pink Your feelings about pink, I completely understand, move on please? This part is essential, she said, hey, do you see pink sunglasses? Elton.John seems to have worn it sometime. Well, she said, it doesn't matter.Listen to me sing down. cycling on the road i met my grandfather grandfather clothes all blue Looks like I forgot to shave beard is blue dark blue dark blue like a long night long night always blue mean me?I asked. where.Not you, you don't appear in the song. grandfather told me can't go to the forest inside the forest abode of wild beasts even an april morning The river will never flow back absolutely can't go back but i made up my mind still riding the bike Drive to the forested hillside on a pink bike on a sunny morning in April nothing to be afraid of do not be afraid as long as you don't get off the bike not red not blue not brown but outright pink Not long after she sang "Song of the Bicycle", we finally climbed to the top of the cliff and came to a flat land as wide as a high platform.After a short rest, the two of them illuminated their surroundings with flashlights.It seems that the area of ​​the high platform is quite large, and the flat and smooth ground like a tabletop extends infinitely.The girl squatted at the entrance of the high platform for a long time and found six or seven paper clips. Where did your grandfather go?I asked. Right there, right around here.This high platform has been mentioned by my grandfather more than once, so I probably can't make a mistake. So, your grandfather has been here many times before? of course.In order to draw a map of the underground, my grandfather turned all the dots here and there.There is nothing he does not know, from the exit of the small cave to the secret passage, everything is known. Go around alone? 嗯,是的,當然。女郎說,祖父喜歡單獨行動。倒不是說他本來就討厭人不信任人,不過是別人跟不上他罷了。 似乎可以理解。我贊同道,對了,這高台又是怎麼回事呢,究竟? 這座山原來有夜鬼們的祖先居住來著。它們在山間掘了洞,全都住在洞裡。我們現在站的這塊平地,是它們舉行宗教儀式的場所,是它們的神居住的地方。祭司或巫師站在這裡,呼喚黑暗之神,獻上犧牲。 所謂神,莫不是那個怪模怪樣的帶爪魚? 不錯,它們深信是那條魚統治這片黑暗王國,統治著這裡的生態系統、形形色色的物象、理念、價值體系以及生死等等。它們傳說其最初的祖先是在那條魚的引導下來到這裡的。她用手電筒照亮腳下,讓我看地面挖出的深約十七厘米寬約一米的溝。 這道溝從高台入口處一直朝黑暗深處伸去。沿這條路一直過去,就是古代的祭壇。我想祖父大概就藏在那裡。因為即使在這聖域之中祭壇也是至為神聖的,無論哪個都靠近不得。只要藏在那裡,就絕對不用擔心被俘。 於是兩人順著這溝一樣的路徑直前行。路不久變為下坡,兩旁的石壁亦隨之陡然增高,簡直像從左右擁來把我們夾成肉餅。四下依然如井底一般死寂,不聞任何動靜。惟獨兩人膠底鞋踩地的聲響在壁與壁的夾縫中奏出奇異的節奏。行走之間,我幾次朝上仰望。人在黑暗中,總是習慣性地搜尋星光和月光。 然而無須說,頭上星月皆無。只有黑暗重疊地壓在身上。亦無風,空氣沉甸甸地滯留在同一場所。我覺得環繞我的所有東西都比先前沉重得多。就連我自身也似乎增加了重量。甚至呼出的氣和足音的迴響以至手的上下擺動都像泥巴一樣被吸往地面。與其說是潛身於地底深處,莫如說更像降落在某個神秘的天體。引力也好空氣密度也好時間感覺也好,一切一切都與我記憶中的截然不同。 我舉起左手,按下電子錶的顯示燈,細看一眼時間:二點十一分。進入地下時正值子夜,因此不過在黑暗中逗留了二小時多一點點,但作為我卻好像在暗中度過了人生的四分之一。 就連電子錶那點微光,看久了眼睛裡也針扎似的作痛。想必我的眼睛正被黑暗慢慢同化。手電筒光也同樣刺眼。長此以往,黑暗便成了理所當然的正常狀態,而光亮反倒令人覺得是不自然的異物。 我們緘口不語,只管沿著狹窄深溝樣的路不斷往下移步。路平坦筆直,且無撞頭之虞,我便關上手電筒,循著她的膠底鞋聲不停地行走。走著走著,漸漸弄不清自己是閉目還是睜眼。睜眼時的黑暗同閉目時的黑暗毫無二致。我試著時而睜眼時而閉眼走了一會,最後竟無法判斷二者的區別。人的一種行為同一種相反的行為之間,本來存在顯而易見的差異。而若差異全部消失,那麼隔在行為A與行為B之間的壁牆也就自動土崩瓦解。 我現在所能感覺到的,僅有女郎在我耳畔迴盪的足音。由於地形、空氣和黑暗的關係,她的足音聽起來甚是異乎尋常。我試圖將這奇異的動靜設法此為標準發音,然而任何發音都與之格格不入,簡直同非洲或中東我所不知曉的語言無異。我無論如何也無法在日語發音的範圍內將其框定下來。若用法語德語或英語,或許能勉強與之接近。我暫且用英語一試。 最初聽起來似乎是: Even︱through︱be︱shopped︱degreed︱well 但實際說出聲來,卻又發覺與足音迥然有別。準確的應該是: Efeven︱gthouv︱bge︱shpevg︱egvele︱wgevl 而這又很像芬蘭語。遺憾的是我全然不知芬蘭語為何物。就語言本身印象而言,似乎是農夫在路上遇上了年老的惡魔。但這終歸是印象,無任何根據。 我邊走邊以各種詞彙同這足音相配,並在腦海中想像她那粉紅色耐克牌運動鞋在平坦的路面交替落地的情景:右腳跟著地,重心移向腳尖,左腳跟在右腳尖離地前著地,如此無窮盡地循環反覆。時間的流逝遽然放慢,彷彿螺絲脫落的表針,遲遲移動不得。粉紅色的運動鞋則在我朦朦朧朧的頭腦中一前一後地緩緩前行。足音迴響不已: Efeven︱gthouv︱bge︱shpevg︱egvele︱wgevl Efeven︱gthouv︱bge︱shpevg︱egvele︱wgevl Efeven︱gthouv︱bge 年老的惡魔在芬蘭鄉間小道的一塊石頭上坐下身來。惡魔有一兩萬歲,一看就知道已經疲憊不堪,衣服和鞋沾滿了灰塵,鬍鬚都磨損得所剩無幾。急急忙忙地到哪裡去?惡魔向農夫搭話道。鐵鍬尖缺了個口,趕去修理。農夫回答。忙什麼,惡魔說,太陽還高掛中天,何苦忙成那個樣子!坐一會聽我說話好了。農夫警覺地注視惡魔的臉。他當然知道和惡魔打交道不會有什麼好事,但由於惡魔顯得十分窮困潦倒心力交瘁,農夫因而 有什麼打我的臉頰軟乎乎,平扁扁,不大,溫煦可親。是什麼來著?正清理思緒,又一下打來。我想抬起右手擋開,卻抬不動。於是又挨了一下。眼前有個令人不快的發光體在晃動。I open my eyes.這時我才意識到自己原來已閉起雙眼,閉目合眼!我眼前的是女郎那大號手電筒,打我臉頰的是她的手。 stop!我吼道,那麼晃眼睛,又痛。 說什麼傻話!在這種地方睡過去,你不想活了?好好站起來! stand up? 我打開手電筒,照了照四周。原來不覺之間我已靠牆坐在地上,迷迷糊糊睡了過去。地面和石壁全都濕漉漉的,如水淋過一般。 我慢慢直身站起。 怎麼搞的,稀里糊塗睡過去了?既沒覺得坐下,又沒有要睡的感覺。 那些傢伙的陰謀詭計,女郎說,想使我們就勢在這裡昏睡過去。 那些傢伙? 就是住在山上的嘛。是神是鬼不曉得,反正有什麼東西存心想陷害我們。 我搖搖頭,抖落頭腦裡殘存的疙疙瘩瘩的感覺。 腦袋昏昏沉沉,越走越搞不清是睜眼還是閉眼,而且你的鞋發出的聲響又很怪 我的鞋? 我告訴她年老的惡魔如何從她的足音中粉墨登場。 那是騙術,女郎道,類似催眠術。要不是我發現,你肯定在這裡睡到無可挽回的地步。 無可挽回? 嗯,是的,無可挽回。但她沒有解釋是怎樣性質的無可挽回。繩子大概你裝在背包裡了吧? 唔,一條五米來長的繩子。 拿出來。 我從背部放下背包,插進手,從罐頭威士忌水筒之間掏出尼龍繩遞給女郎。女郎把繩的一端繫於我的腰帶,另一端纏在她自己腰上。而後順繩拉了拉雙方的身體。 這回不怕了,她說,這樣絕不會走散。 如果兩人不一起睡著的話。我說,你不怎麼困的吧? 問題是不要造成可乘之機。要是你由於睡眠不足而開始同情自己,邪惡勢力必然乘虛而入。clear? clear. 明白就走吧。沒工夫磨磨蹭蹭。 我們用尼龍繩拴住雙方的身體,繼續前進。我盡量把注意力從其鞋音移開,並把手電筒光照準她的脊背,盯著橄欖綠美軍夾克挪動腳步。記得這夾克是一九七一年買的。一九七一年越南戰場仍在交火,當總統的是長著一副不吉利面孔的理查德.尼克森。當時所有的人都留長髮穿髒鞋,都聽神經兮兮的流行音樂,都身披背部帶和平標記的處理的美軍作戰服,都滿懷彼得.馮達般心情,一切恍惚發生在恐龍出沒的遠古時代。 我試圖想起當時發生的幾件事,卻一件也無從想起。無奈,便在腦海中推出彼得.馮達駕駛摩托飛馳的場面。俄頃,這場面便同斯特佩沃爾夫的《讓人生充滿野性》重合起來,而《讓人生充滿野性》不覺之間又變成了馬賓.基的《悲哀的謠言》。大約是序曲相近的緣故。 What are you thinking?胖女郎從前面投過話。 I didn't think about anything.I said. 唱支歌? 歌就算了。 那,你看做什麼好? 說話吧。 say what? 說下雨如何? OK 你記得的雨是怎麼樣的呢? 父母兄弟死的那天下雨來著。 說點愉快的吧。 also good.我是很想說。女郎道,況且除了你,我也沒人可說這種話。要是你沒情緒聽,當然不說也可以。 既然想說,還是一吐為快的好。I said. 那是一場分不清是下還是不下的雨。從一大清早便一直是那樣的天氣。滿天空是灰濛濛的雲,一動也不動。我躺在醫院床上,始終仰望天空。時間是十一月初,窗外長著樟樹,很大的樟樹,葉子差不多落了一半,從樹枝空隙能望到天空。可喜歡看樹? 啊,怎麼說呢,我應道,算不上討厭,只是沒特別注意看過。 老實說,我還真分不出柯樹與樟樹有何區別。 我頂喜歡看樹。一向喜歡,現在也喜歡。一有時間就坐在樹下,或摸樹幹或仰望樹枝,就這樣呆呆過幾個小時。當時我住院的那家醫院院子里長的,也是一棵相當氣派的樹。 我躺在床上,無所事事,只顧看那棵樟樹枝和天空,一看就是一整天。最後連每條樹枝都一一印在了腦海。對了,就像鐵道迷對線路名和站名倒背如流一樣。 樟樹上常有鳥飛來。各種各樣的鳥:麻雀、伯勞、白頭翁,還有不知名的顏色好看的鳥,有時鴿子也來。飛來的鳥在樹枝上歇一會腳,又不知飛去了哪裡。鳥對下雨十分敏感,知道? have no idea.I said. 每當下雨或快要下雨的時候,鳥們絕對不會出現在樹枝上。但雨一停就馬上飛來,唧唧喳喳叫個不停,簡直像在一齊慶賀雨過天晴。不明白是為什麼,或許雨過後蟲子馬上爬出地面,也可能單單因為鳥喜歡雨停。這麼著,我得以知道天氣變化。見不到鳥便是有雨,鳥一來叫雨就停了。 住院時間很長? 嗯,將近一個月。以前我心臟瓣膜有問題,必須動手術。據說手術非常難做,家裡人都對我不抱多大希望。結果卻只有我活下來並活得好好的,其他人都死了,也真是不可思議。 她就此止住話頭,默默前行。我邊走邊想她的心臟、樟樹和小鳥。 家人死的那天,也是鳥忙得不可開交的一天。因為雨下下停停停停下下,鳥便隨之忽兒出來忽兒離去折騰個沒完。那天很冷,像冬天的尖頭兵似的。病房裡通了暖氣,窗玻璃迷濛一片,我不得不再三擦拭。從床上爬起,用毛巾擦罷,又折身回來。本來是不能下床的,但我很想看樹看鳥看天空和雨。住院時間久了,那些東西竟成了命根子。你住過院? No.I said.總的說來,我健康得如春天的熊。 有一種紅翅膀黑腦袋的鳥,行動時總是成雙成對。相形之下,白頭翁的裝束樸實得活像銀行職員。但它們都同樣雨一停便來樹上啼叫。 那時我這祥想來著:世界這東西是多麼神奇!世界上長著幾百億幾千億棵樟樹當然也可以不是樟樹上面有陽光照射有雨水澆淋,有幾百億幾千億隻鳥兒歇息或飛離。每當想起這幅光景,我就不由湧起莫可名狀的感傷。 Why? 世界上大概有不可勝數的樹木不可勝數的小鳥不可勝數的雨珠,而我卻連一棵樟樹一個雨珠都好像理解不了,永遠理解不了。或許將在這連一棵樟樹一個雨珠都無法理解的情況下年老死去。想到這裡,我就感到無可救藥的悵惘,獨自掉下淚來。邊掉淚邊盼望有人緊緊摟抱自己。然而沒有這樣的人,只好孤零零地在床上哭個不止。 哭著哭著,日落了,天黑了,鳥們也看不見了,我也再不能確認雨下還是不下。就在這天傍晚,我的家人全都死了。而我知道這個噩耗則是那以後很久的事。 知道時很難過吧? 記不確切。當時也可能什麼感覺都沒有。我記得的只是沒有任何人能在那個秋雨飄零的黃昏緊緊擁抱自己。對我來說,那簡直就像是世界的盡頭。在又黑暗又孤寂難過渴望別人擁抱的時候周圍卻沒有人擁抱自己你知道那是什麼滋味嗎? 知道,我想。 你失去過所愛的人? 不止一次。 所以如今隻身一人? That's not it either.我一邊用手指擼著腰帶上繫的尼龍繩一邊說道。在這個世界上,任何人都不可能隻身獨處。大家都在某處多少相接相觸。雨也下,鳥也叫,肚皮也被割,也有時在一團漆黑中同女孩接吻。 but.如同沒有愛世界就不存在一樣,胖女郎說,如果沒有愛,那樣的世界就和窗外一掠而過的風沒什麼區別,既不能用手撫摸,又不能嗅到氣味。即使花錢買很多很多女郎同床,即使同很多很多萍水相逢的女孩困覺,也都不是實實在在的,誰都不會緊緊摟抱你的身體。 我可沒動不動就買女孩,也沒見誰和誰困覺。我表示抗議。 一回事。 也許,我想。任何人都不會緊緊摟抱我,我也不會緊緊摟抱別人。我就這樣一年老似一年,像貼在海底岩石的海參一樣孤單單地一年年衰老下去。 由於想得入神,沒有注意到女郎已在前面站定,撞在她軟乎乎的背部。 sorry.I said. Hush!她抓住我的手腕,有什麼聲音,注意聽! 我們定定站在那裡,側耳傾聽黑暗深處傳來的聲音。聲音似乎發自我們所行道路前面很遠的地方。音量很小,不注意察覺不到,既像微乎其微的地動之聲,又如沉重的金屬塊相互摩擦的音響。但不管怎樣,聲音持續不斷,並且似乎隨著時間的推移而一點點加大音量。聲音給人以陰森森冷冰冰的感覺,彷彿一條碩大的蟲子蠕動著爬上自己的背脊。而且音量很低,勉強觸及人耳的可聽範圍。 就連周圍的空氣也好像開始隨其聲波搖搖顫顫。混濁而滯重的風儼然被水沖捲的泥沙在我們身旁由前而後地緩緩移動。空氣也似乎飽含水分,濕漉漉涼浸浸。一種預感正在發生什麼的預感瀰漫在四周。 莫不是要地震?I said. 哪裡是什麼地震,胖女郎道,比地震嚴重得多!
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