Chapter 31 Chapter Three She Runs Away to Get Rid of Melancholy

A few days later, just before the end of August, Eustacia and Yeobright sat down to breakfast and dinner.Of late Eustacia had grown almost indifferent.There was a look of sadness in her beautiful eyes, whether she should or not, and everyone who saw her at the stage when she was madly in love with Clem saw her now. Nothing but arouse a great deal of pity for her.In a way, the feelings of a husband and wife are the opposite of their situation.Clem, the frustrated man, was in high spirits; and the latter, who had never in his life suffered a single moment of physical torture, wanted him to comfort him.

Well, cheer up, my dear; everything will be all right with us.Maybe one day my eyes will be as good as before.I solemnly assure you that as soon as I am in a position to do anything better, I will not cut wattles again.You don't really want me to stay at home all day with nothing to do, do you? But what a dreadful thorn-cutter!You are a man who has seen the world, who can speak French, and German, and who can do better things than that. I think that when you first saw me and heard about me, I had a golden halo around my appearance in your eyes. A man who knows many great things and has been part of many splendid scenes is, in short, admirable, emotional Soaring, attention-grabbing hero, huh?

Yes, she said, sobbing. And now I'm a poor wretch in brown leather leggings. Stop laughing at me.That's enough.I don't want to be depressed like this anymore.I'm leaving home this afternoon unless you strongly object.There's a country picnic they call a gypsy picnic in East Ayton, and I'm going to it. go dance? why not?You can sing. All right, all right, as long as you like.Want me to pick you up? If you come back early from work.You don't have to worry too much about it, though.I know my way home, and the wilderness has nothing to fear in my eyes. Do you really like having fun so much that you go all the way to a country celebration?

Well, you don't like me going alone!Clem, aren't you jealous? No way.But if it brings you a little joy, I'll go with you; though, as it is so evident, perhaps you have had enough of my company.Anyway, I always hope you don't go.Yes, perhaps I was jealous; who could have more grounds for jealousy than I, a half-blind man, who has a woman like you? Don't think about it that way.Let me go, stop spoiling my interest! I'd rather lose everything I have than do that, my lovely wife.Go ahead and do what you please.Who can stop your penchant for any kind of hilarity?I'm sure you'll take my heart because you put up with me so much and seriously, I've dragged you down and I owe you so much.Yes, go happily alone.As for me, I shall suffer my own misfortune.On that occasion, people avoid me.My sickle and glove are like the rattle of St. Lazarus the leper.Lazarus in the Gospel of John is a beggar who goes to heaven after suffering so much on earth. ], warning people all over the world to make way for him and not to see this sad and tragic scene.He kissed her, put on his stockings, and went out to his work.

When he was gone, she put her head on her hands and said to herself, two wasted lives, his and mine.I have fallen into such a field!Does this make me lose my mind? She thought hard, trying to find a way to change the status quo, but she couldn't figure it out.She thought that once those people in Beilei's mouth knew about her current situation, they would all say, look at that girl who doesn't care about anyone!To Eustacia it seemed to Eustacia the great irony of the hope which this state of affairs held for her, that, if this irony of heaven were to develop further, it seemed that death would be the only relief. the road.

Suddenly she stood up and said loudly, but I must get rid of all this.Yes, I must get rid of it!No one will know my pain.I want to rejoice in pain, to rejoice in irony, to laugh at mockery!I'm going to start off by going to this lawn dance. She went upstairs to her bedroom and dressed meticulously.To an outsider, her beauty almost gave the impression that she had good reason for everything she thought.Her presence in this shadowy corner, though due to her recklessness, was something of an accident, and even a person who did not admire her very much would feel that she had good reason to blame Almighty God. , Why did such a perfect stunner fall into such a field? Rather than saying that her all-round charm is a blessing from God, it is better to say that it is a curse to her.

It was five o'clock in the afternoon when she walked out of the house and was ready to go on the road.There was enough material in this wonderful picture to win her the favor of twenty more.When she was at home without a hat on, her unconcealable sadness was so obvious, but when she changed into the best clothes she went out, it covered up and diluted the sadness, and her dress revealed a kind of Hazy beauty, with a soft and charming aspect, swept away the haze on her face, and her clothes and her skin perfectly complemented each other.The heat of the day hadn't subsided yet, and she walked along the sunny valley without haste, and she had enough time for herself to walk leisurely all the way.The thick foliage of the tall bracken on the path she walked was a shrunken forest, burying her entirely in it, though none of the bracken stalks survived to another year.

The place chosen for this country meeting was a grassy lawn, such as is not often found on the high plateaus of this wild country.Thickets of wattle and fern rose abruptly to form the borders of the area, and the grass was continuous.A green ox-road ran round the place, but was concealed by thick ferns, and Eustacia was now following this path, in order to survey the place before attending the meeting.The lively and merry sound of the East Eden band pointed her in the right direction, when she saw the musicians, sitting in a blue bullock cart with polished red wheels. , It's almost like new, with beautiful branches on the bow-shaped body made of branches.In front of the car is a spectacular dance circle of fifteen to twenty couples, flanked by a handful of lesser dancers dancing individually, their twirls not always in time with the music .

The lads all wore blue and white rosettes, and all of them were rosy, singing and dancing with the girls, who danced so vigorously that their faces were redder than the ribbons that covered them all. .Pretty girls with long curly hair, pretty girls with short curly hair, pretty girls with curls around their ears, pretty girls with braids, all going around and around; The onlookers are likely to be amazed that in such a place with only one or two villages, how could there be so many girls of the same stature, age, and temperament gathered together.Behind the throng of dancers, a merry man danced wildly all by himself, his eyes closed, completely oblivious to the existence of others.Not far away, under a truncated trunk, a fire was lit, on which hung three kettles side by side.Close by the fire was a table, where some older women were preparing tea, but when Eustacia looked among them for the cattle-trader's wife, she was nowhere to be seen, It was this woman who advised her to attend the ball, and assured her that she would be well received.

The absence of a native inhabitant whom Eustacia knew so well was quite unexpected to her, and her plans for a fun afternoon were utterly thwarted.For a while, how to join it became a difficult task. Even so, if she stepped forward, the happy women would still come forward with teacups in their hands, treating her as a nobler and more educated woman than they were. Strange lady to welcome.Having seen the people who had done two dances, she decided that it would be better to go a little further, to a small farmhouse there, where she might be able to eat something before returning home in the dark.

So she did; and when she returned to the merry dancing throng which was her way to Eldworth, the sun was setting.All was quiet, and in the distance she could hear the band playing, which seemed more merry than when she had left it (if only it could be played harder).By the time she reached the knoll the sun was well behind; but it made no difference, either to Eustacia or to the party of pleasure-seekers, for the full moon was already over her. Rising in front of me, although its light is not as bright as the sunset in the west.The dance was as lively as ever, but so many strangers had arrived and circled the circle of the dancers that Eustacia could be among them without being recognized. The sensory emotions of the whole village, which had been dispersed for a whole year, burst out at this moment.Twelve months ago they had been together for the same joy, but they had not been together since, so now the forty hearts of the twin dancers beat violently together.At this time, the pagan sentiment was revived in their hearts, and pride in life became everything, and only themselves were admired in their hearts. How many of those passionate but fleeting embraces turned out to be permanent was a question on the minds of some of the partners involved, as well as on Eustacia, who was watching.She began to envy the whirling dancers, whom the dance seemed to bring to them, all kinds of dreams, longings, and joys, which she so desperately wanted.One of Eustacia's longings for Paris, being a passionate dancer, had always been to have the chance to give her a rapturous time.Unfortunately, that hope has now been completely shattered for her. Just as she was watching them absent-mindedly twirling and undulating under the gradually brightening moonlight, she suddenly heard someone calling her name softly behind her.She turned around in surprise, and saw a person standing nearby, and her cheeks turned red immediately when she saw him. That's Wildford.He had not seen her since the morning of his wedding, when she had been wandering about the church, raising her veil, coming forward, and signing the register as a witness, It really shocked him.However, she couldn't explain why seeing him at this moment made her so embarrassed all of a sudden. Before she could speak, he whispered, do you still like dancing as much as before? I suppose so, she replied, equally quietly. Would you like to dance with me? It was a rare opportunity; but wouldn't it be strange? What's so weird about dancing? Oh yes, relatives.Maybe it won't matter. But if you don't like being seen, then you'll put your veil down; though in this light there's no fear of being seen.There are many strangers here. She did as he suggested; it was self-evident that this action showed her acceptance of his offer. Wildoff held out his arms to her, and led her along the dancer's outer circle to the end of the dancer's tail, where he joined.After more than two minutes, they spun into the dancing circle, and began to twirl all the way to the head of the dance line.More than once in the middle of their dance Eustacia wished she hadn't accepted his request in the first place; She had come out for pleasure, and now she was just doing a natural thing to get it.They were fully thrown into the whirling procession, and now that they were in their new positions of leader, Eustacia's pulse began to beat so fast that she had no time to act. what to think. They made their way through the line of twenty-five couples in dizzying whirls, and a new energy flowed through her.The dark night gave this dance a charm.To some extent, the tinted light has a disturbing force on the balance of human emotions, and dangerously stimulates the more tender moods; Scruples, just want to vent, the reason is drowsy, and unknowingly produced a reverse movement; now the full moon has released this light to these two dancing couples.All the dancing girls felt the omen, but Eustacia was the most passionate of them all.The weeds under their feet were trampled in a mess, and under the slanting moonlight, the trampled hard ground looked like a polished tabletop.There is no wind around, the musicians are sitting on the bullock carts, the flags planted on the carts are tightly attached to the flagpoles, and each of the players has become silhouettes against the sky, only when those who can be seen from time to time The appearance of the trombone, serpentine tuba, and French horn gleamed like large eyes growing from the figure of the musician.The beautiful clothes on the girls lost the colors that could be distinguished during the day, and more or less showed a kind of grayish white.Eustacia whirled round and round in Wildoff's arms, and her face showed a look of fascination and concentration; her soul had long since drifted away from her, forgetting her form. There was nothing left of her face except a vague, vacant look, as is always the case when one's feelings are removed from the senses. How close she was to Wildef!It's frightening to think about.She could feel his breath, and of course he could feel hers too.How badly she had treated him before!Now, though, they're stepping on the same dance floor.She was amazed that dancing had such magic power.Her feelings before participating in the dance are completely different from those of being in this whirling dance, as if there is a tangible fence between them, clearly separating them.When she started dancing, it was like a complete transformation of the environment. Compared with the seemingly tropical atmosphere here at the moment, it seemed that she had been living in the ice and snow of the Arctic.She had joined the dancing from her lately disturbed life, and it was like a man who had walked the night in the woods into a room of gold and gold.As far as Wildeff was concerned, he had been nothing more than a passing excitement; but Wildeff added this dance, this bright moonlight, and this mystery, and began to form a kind of ecstasy and joy.Whether he was an important part of this sweet and complex feeling, or whether this dance and this atmosphere itself was a more important part, it all made up a wonderful moment that made Eusta Xi Ya is completely in the clouds and mist. People started asking who are they?But no unpleasant questions were asked.It might have been different if Eustacia had been hanging out with other girls in everyday life.She was not questioned unduly here, nor did she feel uneasy, for the situation brought all the girls to their best splendor.Just as Mercury is shrouded in the brilliance of the sun, her undying beauty is less conspicuous in this momentary dizzying situation. As for Wildeff, his feelings were not difficult to guess.For his love, many obstacles are the sun that urges him to mature, and at this moment he is in a state of extreme distress and excitement.Taking for himself a woman who has been in another man's arms for a whole year, even for five minutes, is one of the things that he can enjoy the most of all men.He had long since begun to long for Eustacia again; and perhaps it is safe to say that signing the marriage register with Thomasy was a natural sign of the return of his heart to his first sweetheart. , and Eustacia's marriage made this return all the more impatient. Thus, for different reasons, what was to the rest a mere pleasure, became to both of them a kind of fugue on the whirling wind.In their hearts, however much social morality remained, the dance became an attack they could not resist, making it doubly perverse for them to revisit old dreams.They danced three rounds in succession; at last Eustacia was so tired from this continual dance that she turned and quit the circle, where she felt she had been too long.Wildeff led her to a grassy knoll some steps away, and she sat down on the grass, with her partner standing beside her.They haven't spoken a word since he asked her to dance. The dancing and the walking must have worn you out, right?he asked in a considerate tone. No, it's okay. It is strange that, after so long apart, we should meet in this place, and not elsewhere. We didn't meet, I think because we were both trying to avoid it. good.However, you started this thing and you didn't keep your word. It doesn't make any sense to say that now.We've formed another relationship since then and you're not necessarily much better than me. I'm sorry to hear that your husband is ill. He's not sick, just bad eyesight. Oh yes, that's what I meant.I sincerely sympathize with the trouble you are having.Fate has been cruel to you. She was silent for a while.Did you hear that he chose to be a woodcutter?she asked in a low, sad tone. Somebody mentioned it to me, Wildoff replied hesitantly.But I just can't believe it. it is true.What do you think of me being a woodcutter's wife? I have never changed my opinion of you, Eustacia.There's no way something like that would demean you, you're a credit to your husband's work. I wish I could feel that way. Is there any chance that Yeobright's situation will improve? He thought it was possible.I doubt it. I was very surprised to hear that he rented a hut to live in.Like everyone else, I thought that after marrying him, he would immediately take you to Paris to make your home.What a glorious future lay before her!I think.As soon as his eyes get better again, I think he'll take you there, won't he? Seeing that she didn't answer, he looked at her more intently.She was close to tears.Seeing a future, but never being able to enjoy it, greatly aroused her painful disappointment. Wildeff's words reminded her of the situation of the neighbors who couldn't help laughing and sneering. The arrogant Yu Stacia could no longer maintain her composure. When Wildoff saw her restless and silent, he could no longer control the further development of his feelings.But he pretended not to notice her emotion, and it didn't take long for her to regain her composure. You don't want to walk home alone, do you?he asked. Oh, that's what I mean, said Eustacia.In this barren land, who would hurt a woman like me who has nothing around me? I can go home the same way as you, just a little more sideways.I am very glad to accompany you to Troup's Point.Seeing Eustacia sitting hesitantly still, he added, Perhaps you don't think it wise to be seen walking the same road after what happened last summer? That's not what I was thinking, actually, she said haughtily.I'll choose who I want to be with me, and I don't care what the poor inhabitants of Aydon say. Then let's go if you want to go.Our closest way is towards the holly bushes there, that shaded bush you can see down there. Eustacia rose, and beside him, went in the direction he indicated, and the dew on the heather and bracken brushed their garments as they went.Behind them came the frolic of the merry people still dancing.At this time, the moonlight gradually became silvery white, very bright, but it could not penetrate the thick heather, so that in this rural environment, which was illuminated by a white light from zenith to celestial pole, a conspicuous dark zone could be seen. .If there had been an eye on the top of their heads looking at them, it would have seen that in the vastness their two faces were like two beads on an ebony table. Because of this the winding path was not seen very well, and Wildoff occasionally stumbled, while Eustacia found that whenever she was caught in the grass on the path, When she tripped over a clump of heather or an outstretched bramble, she needed some graceful movements to keep her balance.At times like this, a hand would reach out to support her, hold her firmly until she was on level ground again, and then the hand would draw back, keeping her at a respectful distance. Inside. They walked, most of the time in silence, until a few hundred yards from Troop's Point a small fork led to Eustacia's house.They gradually recognized two figures coming towards them in front of them, and it was clear that they were the figures of two men. When they came nearer, Eustacia broke the silence, saying that one of those two was my husband.He promised to come and pick me up. The other is my worst enemy.Wildeve said. That seemed to be Digory.Wayne. It was that guy. Such a meeting is really embarrassing, she said: But this is my fate.He knows me too well, but he could know more so that he can see that what he knows is nothing at all.Well, let it be, you must put me in their hands. You have to think about it carefully before deciding whether you want me to do this.Here is a man who remembers every detail of our first meeting at Rainmound.He is with your husband.Would any of them, seeing the two of us together, believe that it was by chance that we met and danced at the ball? Exactly, she whispered dejectedly.You go before they come near. Wildoff bade her tender farewell, and walked quickly through bracken and bramble, while Eustacia walked slowly on by herself.In two or three minutes she met her husband and his companion. That's where I go to-night, redman, said Yeobright, as soon as he saw her.I went back with this lady.Good night. Good night, Mr. Yeobright, said Wayne.Hope to see you recover soon. The moonlight fell directly on Wayne's face as he spoke, allowing Eustacia to see every line of his face clearly.He was looking at her very suspiciously.As far as sight could tell, Wayne's sharp eyes saw what Yeobright's feeble eyesight failed to see. A man pulled away from Eustacia. If Eustacia could follow the red-monger's footsteps, she would soon demonstrate plainly that she was right.As soon as Clem offered her his arm and led her away, the red clay dealer turned away from the trampled path leading to East Ayden.Digory had only accompanied Clem, and his cart was back in the area again.With two long legs, he waded across the wilderness where there was no road at all, and walked in the direction Wildford had just left.Only a person who is accustomed to walking at night can walk down this weedy slope at this time at the speed of Wayne, but he will not fall into a pit or step into it. in a hare's nest and broke his own leg.But Wayne walked all the way without encountering any major inconvenience. He walked quickly in the direction of the lady's shop.It took him about half an hour to reach this place, and he knew very well that no one in the vicinity of Troup Point could have arrived before him when he started. The lonely inn is still open, it mainly serves the travelers who pass this small inn on the long road, although there are few people in it, the business is not over, and these people are now back on the road .Wayne went into the bar, ordered a mug of ale, and asked the maid in a nonchalant tone if Mr. Wildford was at home. Thomasy was sitting in an inner room when she heard Wayne's voice.She seldom appeared when there were customers in the shop, because she was not born for the trade; but knowing that no one else was in the shop tonight, she came out. He's not home yet, Digory, she said cheerfully.But I think he's coming back soon.He had gone to East Eden to buy a horse. Did he wear a low felt hat with a wide brim? yes. So I saw him at Troop's Point and came home with a horse, said Wayne dryly.A beautiful horse with a white face and a long mane as black as night.There is no doubt that he will be home soon.He stood up and gazed for a moment into Thomasy's pure, sweet face, which, he saw, had cast a shadow of sorrow since he had last seen her, and ventured to say, Mr. Deve seems to be out at such times. Oh, yes, exclaimed Thomasy, in a tone of very merriment.Husbands are always bad, and you know that.I wish you could tell me some good, invisible way to help me keep him at night at night if I want. If I knew there was such a way, I'd help you think about it, Wayne replied with the same ease, but that didn't mean he was really that easy.Then he bowed to her in a manner he had invented, and turned away.Thomasy held out his hand to him; the red-monger did not utter a sigh, though he had many in his heart, and went away. A quarter of an hour later, Wildeff came back, and Thomasy asked briefly, Damon, where is that horse, in her usual shy way? Oh, and I ended up not buying it.That guy was charging too much. But someone saw you leading it home at Troop's Corner A handsome horse with a white face and a mane as black as night. ah!said Wildoff, keeping his eyes on her: who told you? Red clay dealer Wayne. The expression on Wildeff's face was strangely frozen.He must be mistaken, it must be someone else, he said slowly, exasperated, because he knew Wayne's vengeance was at it again.