Chapter 40 Chapter Four: The Care of an Almost Forgotten Man

Eustacia walked out at first, directionlessly, like a thistle crested blown by the wind.She really didn't know where to go.She wished it was night instead of day, so that at least she could hide the distress on her face from being seen.She walked mile after mile among the withered ferns and wet white cobwebs, and finally she walked in the direction of Grandpa's house.She found the front door closed and locked.Moving mechanically, she came round the corner to the stable, and looking into the stable, saw Charlie standing there. Captain Vey isn't home?she asked. Yes, ma'am, said the young man emotionally: he's gone to Weatherburg, and won't be back until evening.The servant went home on vacation.So the house was locked.

As Eustacia stood at the door with her back turned towards the sky, and the light in the stable was poor, Charley could not see her face; but the wildness of her movement caught his attention. .She turned and walked across the yard toward the gate, disappearing behind the earth dam. When she walked away, Charlie's eyes revealed a bewildered look, and he slowly walked out from the stable door, walked to the other side of the earth dam and looked out.Eustacia was leaning on one side of the earth-dam, her face in her hands, her head pressed against the dewy heather that grew on the earth-dam.Her hat, her hair, and her entire body of clothing were soaked and tousled by the dampness of the cold, rough pillow beneath her head, but she didn't seem to care about it.Obviously, something happened.

Charlie always thought highly of Eustacia, just as Eustacia had regarded Clem as a romantic, perfect idol when she first saw him.Her elegance and her haughty speech always kept him at a distance, except for one moment of infinite joy when she allowed him to hold her hand, and he hardly saw her as an ordinary woman. : Wingless, in the world, bound by family life and heavy housework.He could only speculate on the inner details of her real life.She has always been a lovely fantasist, destined to live along a track, and he himself is just a small point on this track; seeing her leaning on the earth dam is like a helpless The hopeless little animal was leaning against a wet mud dam, and it filled him with a sort of startling terror.He couldn't stay in his place any longer.Leaping forward, he came to her side, touched her with a finger, and said softly, You are so pitiful, madam.what can I do for you?

Startled, Eustacia said, Oh, it's Charlie you follow me.You can never imagine that I left home in the bright summer, but came back home in such a state! I hadn't thought of it, my dear madam.what can i do for you now I'm afraid not.I wish I could go inside the house.I feel a little dizzy and that's all. Lean on my arm, ma'am, and let's go to the porch; I'll try to open that door. He helped her to the porch, and after placing her in a place to sit, he himself hastened to the back of the house, climbed up a window with the help of a ladder, entered and opened the door for her.Then he helped her into the house, where there was an old-fashioned horsehair wheelchair the size of a donkey cart.She reclined in a chair and Charlie found a cloak in the hall and threw it over her.

Want me to get you something to eat or drink?he asks. If you may, Charlie.But I guess the stove didn't light up? I can light the fire, ma'am. He drew away, and she heard the crackling of wood and the blowing of bellows; in a moment he came back, and said, I lighted a fire in the kitchen, and now I can light it here. He lit the fire, and Eustacia watched him dreamily from the wheelchair.When the flames had sprung up, he said, Shall I push you to the fire, ma'am?It was cold in the morning. If you like, fine. Shall I go get the food now? All right, go get it, she whispered feebly.

After he had gone, she heard the dull sound of his movements in the kitchen from time to time, and she forgot where she was, and it took her a while to remember what the sound was.After a while, a brief moment when she wasn't here at all, he came in with a tray of steaming tea and toast, although it was almost lunchtime separated. Put it on the table, she said.I'll be fine soon. He did as she said, and went to the door; but when he saw that she was motionless, he turned and walked a few steps forward. Let me bring it to you if you don't want to get up, said Charlie.He took the tray to the wheelchair, knelt down in front of the chair, and said, I'll carry it for you.

Eustacia sat up and poured out a cup of tea.You've been so kind to me, Charlie.She said while sipping her tea. Oh, that's what I should do, he said timidly, taking his eyes off her with great difficulty, though that was where his eyes should naturally be, for Eustacia happened to be right in front of him.You have always been good to me. How can I treat you well?asked Eustacia. When you were a lady at home, let me hold your hand.Oh yes.Why did I do that?I can't remember it all. It must have something to do with the masque, doesn't it? Yes, you want to take my role. I remember now.I do remember all too well.

She was so depressed again; Charlie saw that she had no desire to eat or drink anymore, and took the tray away. Then he came in at intervals to see if the fire was still burning, and asked her if she wanted anything, and told her the wind was starting to turn from south to west, and asked if she would like him to fetch some blackberries for her; Or answer no or noncommittal. She lay in the wheelchair for a while longer before getting up and going upstairs.The room she used to live in remained basically the same as when she left. Everything in the past forced her to think of her great change and deteriorating situation again, making her face show the same look as when she first arrived here. A miserable scene of bewildered and disheveled.She poked her head over her grandfather's room and breathed in the fresh autumn air through the open window.Her gaze was drawn to an all too familiar sight, but now it took on a whole new meaning for her.It was a pair of pistols that hung above her grandfather's bed, and he always kept them loaded, as if to deal with possible thieves, because the house was so remote.Eustacia stared at them for a long time, as if they were a page on which she had read something curious.Presently, like one who is frightened of herself, she turned and went downstairs, where she stood lost in thought.

If only I could do that!She said it was the best thing for me and everything about me, it wouldn't hurt anyone. This thought seemed to energize her, and she remained in a motionless posture for almost ten minutes, her eyes fixed on her with a resolute look, and the original ignorance disappeared. A bewildered look. As soon as she turned around, she went upstairs for the second time, and this time she walked up lightly and quietly into the grandfather's room, her eyes immediately swept to the head of the bed.The pistol was gone. Their disappearance dashed her hopes, as her body was suddenly put into a vacuum, and her mind went blank; she nearly fainted.Who took them?There was no one else in the house except her.Eustacia turned involuntarily to the open window, which looked down on the garden and looked all the way to the earth dam which surrounded the yard.At the top of the earth dam stood Charlie, high enough for him to see the inside of the house at a glance.His eager, worried eyes fell squarely on her.

She went downstairs, came to the door, and beckoned him to come. Did you take them? yes ma'am. Why are you doing this? I saw you looking at them for a long time. What does that have to do with them? You've been heartbroken all morning, as if you didn't want to live. oh? I can't stand it, I can't let them affect you.The way you look at them has meaning. where are they now locked up. Where is it locked? In the stable. give them to me. No, madam. You reject me? Yes.I care too much about you to give them to you. She turned around, her face had been as cold as ice since early this morning, but at this time her face began to soften, and there was a soft line at the corner of her mouth, which was invisible when she was in despair these lines.Finally she turned to him again.

If I want to die, why can't I do it?I've made a bad deal with life, she said tremulously, and I'm tired of it.Now you come to stop me from it.Oh, why did you do that, Charlie!What makes death painful but the thought of others mourning your death?But this is not the case with me, because after I die, I will not even have a sigh! Alas, it is troubles that have brought about this situation!From the bottom of my heart, I hope that the person who caused this situation will die himself, even the corpse will rot, even if it means being exiled, I will say it! Charlie, stop talking.What do you want to do with what you see? If you promise not to think of doing it again, I'll keep my mouth shut about it. You don't have to be afraid.The moment has passed, I promise.After that, she turned around and went into the house, and lay down. It was almost evening when her grandfather came back.As soon as he opened his mouth he wanted to ask her what was the matter; but looking at her, he drew back the words. Yes, it's too bad, it's better not to talk about it, she answered his gaze in a soft voice.Can I sleep in my old room tonight, Grandpa?I want to still live there. He didn't ask what was the matter, or why she had left her husband, but he ordered her room to be put in order.