Chapter 5 4

Marie's heart pounded as she pushed open the door of her apartment in Prenzlauer Berg, Berlin.Hello!She restrained herself, shouted, took off her wet windbreaker, and put down her computer bag and small suitcase.Raindrops slapped on the sloping French windows of the top floor.When the weather is fine, looking out from here, the scenery is very beautiful, and you can have a panoramic view of the long streets and alleys of the neighboring blocks. The light on the answering machine did not flash.She opens the refrigerator.Gina, the Portuguese woman who cleaned, prepared everything as ordered, except that she bought whole milk instead of skim milk.This chubby, caring woman probably did it on purpose again.In her eyes, Mary was as thin as a bamboo pole and desperately needed to be raised.But for Mary, the current weight is just below the ideal weight.

She went into the small kitchen, poured a Diet Coke, and walked into the spacious, austere, elegant living room.The Steinway grand piano in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows almost occupies the entire space.She didn't care about the piano, and only took a few printed materials from the Internet, walked to the sofa in front of the TV, and sat down there.She hasn't turned on the TV for four weeks.Maybe watch a live football game.Hertha will play Berlin tomorrow.In the past, football always aroused her great interest and shared the love of football with her father.However, she has been unable to find time for a long time to enjoy this enthusiasm again.

Why did she feel that the apartment was cold and empty, even strange?Didn't she also live here alone before? The taste had changed, she realized suddenly.When she opened the door just now, she realized it.Ion's body odor is missing. There was a pang in her heart.For a moment, I wanted to call him.The unhappiness of the past few days made her yearn for Yan's thoughtful comfort, and feel the carefree time when she was with him.But it's not fair to him to do so.After all, she was the one who broke up.In a small coffee shop in Hacks Market, she ended the relationship as clearly and businesslike as a rental agreement.

He was of course dumbfounded in amazement, trying everything he could to change her, pleading with her to give their love another chance.He wondered what he had done wrong, and why. He didn't do anything wrong, it's just that the two of them didn't fit together.He has made it clear several times that he hopes to have a family and a child, and that the child has a caring mother.None of this Mary could give him.All right!Then she can only reap the consequences.She didn't want to wait until the question caused serious conflict between the two.She didn't want to wait until the two of them were exhausted and had to make sacrifices again and again.In the end, it is inevitable to quarrel and go their separate ways.

Of course he disagreed.He never put pressure on her, always waited patiently until she was happy.He was ready to completely give up on himself for her. That's what she didn't like!She wants the two to be happy in their own way.If a breakup is inevitable, then doing so, painful as it is, is the only way out.Just like getting a vaccination, you can prevent more serious diseases if you get it. At first, her cold-blooded logic left him speechless, and then the surprise turned to anger.Finally, he stormed out of the café.She thought he would call, or barge into the house without prior notice, or simply rush to the airport, and stop her.However, none of this, since that afternoon four weeks ago, Ion has never contacted her again.

She got up, wiped away her tears with a napkin, and couldn't help feeling angry with herself.She sat down again, trying to focus on the files. After a while she jumped up with a start and listened intently.Before she had time to stop her mouth, she had already shouted.yan?Only silence, and the rain beating on the sloping attic windows, responded. Her heart was beating wildly.She tried to suppress the slowly rising fear.Nothing happened, she heard nothing, at most old Mrs Heitwig's voice downstairs.There is no need to be afraid at all.Whatever the reason for her uneasiness, it was all an illusion.

Despite the strong sense of urging her to get up and open all the door cabinets to make sure that no one was hiding inside, she still refused to bow her head and open the gate from now on. She closed her eyes to stop the tears that were about to roll down.She suddenly realized how much she longed for Ion.She felt safe with him.She needs him far more than she admits. Look, that's right!She blamed herself in her heart.You're just using him to suppress your absurd and stupid fears.This is not the basis for maintaining the relationship between the two.What you need is not Ion, but a psychiatrist.

But when she was a child, the doctors could do nothing for her, just as they could do for her mother. With trembling hands, she took a sip of Coke, imagined an eight-digit number in her mind, and then performed prime number calculations.Gradually, her heartbeat calmed down. She tried to refocus on the material, couldn't, and finally gave up.After removing her makeup, she lay on the overly spacious bed, unable to close her eyes for a long time, until the regular and continuous beating of the raindrops accompanied her to sleep. The next morning, after a quick breakfast, she called her father.He lives with his second wife in a villa in Wanghu District.Luckily, Dad just didn't go on a concert tour.

hi dad! Hi little one!You haven't called in a while!My father's tone wasn't reproachful, just curious. During this time, I was too busy. Any questions?What can I do for you? No, no, I can handle it myself. A father knows his daughter too well.Your voice is not right!Do you want to come over to my place with Ion this afternoon and just have a chat? I broke up with Ion. Ah, so it is! Not because of this.Nothing, at least nothing you can do to help me.Still, I'd love to go there.Three o'clock, okay? Great, I'm so happy.See you this afternoon! When her father opened the door to see her, he was all smiles.He was wearing a black suit as usual.In this way, the paleness of the thick white hair is set off even more.He stretched out his slender arms to hug her, as if he never wanted to lose her.

Erin also smiled and hugged her.Erin is a full head shorter than her husband.Contrary to his, she had a round figure, but that did not detract from her beauty in the slightest.Although she is nearly fifty years old, she still has the same demeanor, and her voice is as powerful, graceful and melodious as when she stood on the world stage and received the cheers of the crowd. how are youMy father asked, why is the nose so white?That's what my father said every time they met.The father knew, of course, that his daughter's natural fair complexion had nothing to do with the lack of fresh air, but he just liked to tease her.

She made faces.It was a great feeling to be so warmly received.She followed Erin to the conservatory, where there was a huge tray of the delicious cakes and biscuits she had been anticipating, enough for all the members of her father's orchestra.It was a welcome way for a father to show his daughter how happy he was to see her come. The strong aroma of freshly ground coffee made Mary feel at home again, even though she had only been back a few months ago.Excitedly, she picked up a piece of fruitcake and topped it with a dollop of whipped cream.People who don't know her well can't imagine that she has a sweet tooth when they only see her appearance.Still, she holds it well, enjoying it without overdoing it.Sometimes, the right amount of crime can improve the quality of life, and it is much more rational than how many female compatriots are wandering between painful overeating and tortured diets.It is actually not difficult to do this, as long as you stick to some principles. The cakes are delicious, as is Erin's artisanal coffee.Mary's nerves, which had been tense for days, relaxed.She told them that she was facing a partner selection, and everything depended on the successful completion of her project in Ofana. What an idiot!When Mary told her father about Li Ke's performance, his father said angrily.Irene hurriedly removed the coffee pot, for fear that he would knock it over with his excessive gesture.As a conductor, my father is used to expressing his position with his arms and can swing them with great precision.However, once emotionally aroused, the arms will swing wildly and uncontrollably. Mary sighed.Don't worry, I can handle it. Father nodded.Yes, you can.You have always been strong and never bowed your head easily. The two were silent for a while, lost in memory.Although it is rare for the father and daughter to meet each other, they are heart-to-heart, just like two people who have experienced a great suffering together.Her father's words touched Mary's heart.She realized that she was infected by her father's irrevocable optimism. Although he did not inherit his father's emotional impulse and creativity, he inherited his talent in harmony and rhythm.And a natural analytical understanding.My father often said: music is mathematics, and mathematics is music.Fundamentally, the two are nothing more than expressions of the same principle in different forms. Mary naturally had a first-rate musical education.At the age of fourteen, she had already won a prize in the piano category of a youth music competition.On her sixteenth birthday, her father gave her a Steinway grand piano.However, she didn't have much time to play the piano, and the logical structure of the music has always fascinated her more than the timbre. After earning her high school diploma with honors, she started studying mathematics.After four semesters, he turned to business management under his father's persuasion.You cannot live off theory.He said.She understood what her father meant.The tediousness of the business administration major drove her crazy.For her, classes in linear programming, statistical techniques, and game theory (also known as game theory), which make her students sweat, are nothing more than a breeze.Fortunately, the relationship between the pure mathematical model and the practical application of business management throughout the studies is interesting and beneficial.In her later career as a business consultant, she made full use of the relationship between mathematics and practical applications. Want to go for a walk?asked my father as Mary ate the second piece of fruitcake. She nodded.After eating so much, I have to move around.Going to the gym at night is of course also a way to get rid of excess calories. Do you want to go to the zoo?Erin suggested. Would you like to go?asked the father. Mary hasn't been to the zoo for a long time.When she was a child, she liked going there very much, and often imagined that if she went to those distant countries with crocodiles, leopards or kangaroos, she would encounter them in nature.At the time, the thought struck her as both alluring and terrifying.Thinking about it now, she couldn't help laughing.OK. Today is Saturday afternoon, with the sun shining through the clouds from time to time, the zoo is bustling.The polar bear house was crowded with people, and people wanted to see the cute little polar bears who had just been born.Not long ago, the bear not only adorned the front pages of all the tabloids in the market, but also became the talismanic symbol of the city of Berlin.Perhaps, this is related to the frequent reports in the media that global warming and the melting of polar icebergs will lead to the extinction of the last polar bear.Those reports adjusted public concern and evoked feelings of melancholy.But Mary was not in the mood to squeeze forward to see the curious creature. The cages in the zoo seemed smaller than she remembered, not only looked smaller, but also a little sad.Although the zoo has tried its best to create a natural living atmosphere for the animals, the ubiquitous iron fences and glass windows still make it difficult for visitors to forget that the animals live in captivity. This impression was especially strong when she stepped into the monkey house.At first glance, the chimpanzees seemed to be enjoying themselves, but Mary felt sorry for them.When she was a child, she often stood in front of the iron cage and watched happily how they jumped back and forth between the branches and climbing poles.From her point of view today, all that seemed to be just restlessness after their plan to escape was thwarted. Next to the chimpanzee is a group of gorillas.In summer, they can also enjoy a large outdoor paddock.But now in October, all the animals are confined indoors in a small space.A strong gorilla with a silver-gray back was obviously the leader of the group, surrounded by five or six smaller gorilla.One, apparently female, was holding a baby in her arms.She stroked the baby tenderly, and the baby played with its mother's long black fur.It's unbelievable, it's like a human being caring for his own baby. The mother orangutan turned her head, her jet-black eyes looking proudly at Mary through the heavy glass windows.A strange feeling came over Mary, and she couldn't help thinking of Ion and his desire to have a home.For a moment, she almost regretted her decision to exchange her career with her family's children, but then quickly restrained the thought.She is only thirty-one years old, still young, and she will have plenty of time to think about it in the future.Now, at least she had to win Copeland's promotion to partner first.Let's talk about the future. If you still have someone you want to live with!Suddenly a whisper sounded from the back of her head. She quickly dismissed this thought from her mind and refocused on the little orangutan.The little one will never see the possibility of seeing the parents' hometown.She can't help but sigh when she thinks that the possibility of dying naturally in this captivity is much higher than in the few gorilla reserves in the world. Her father seemed to see through her thoughts.poor animal.He said that by the time you have a child, and your child is your age, there will likely be no more gorillas in the wild. Mary watched the gorillas flock to the window.Maybe that's what zoos are for.It tells people how many kinds of magical creatures there are in the world.Let us not forget what we are losing. Or something has been lost.Eileen cut in. They walked pensively around the zoo.For most of the rest of the time, no one spoke.At the exit, Mary said goodbye to Eileen and her father and thanked them again for a wonderful afternoon together. Although she was a little depressed when she returned to the apartment, she was strong inside.At least this day told her how relatively insignificant her own problems were, and that there were more important things in the world than becoming Copeland's partner!