Chapter 24 fourteen

Sometimes I dream about York at night, and we're usually on the beach, or on the way home from the beach, feeling tired and hungry.My cheeks are cold and York snorts white.When we got home, I threw some wood into the fire, and got some food for York, and something for myself.The seasons in the dream are different, most of them are autumn or winter.We were playing on the beach, and I threw a stick, and York barked loudly, and darted to fetch it and put it at my feet.I admire it, pick up the branch, and throw it again.The dream was like a movie on repeat.I was very content in the dream, as if the most important things were in this ever-replaying movie, and everything else was less important, small, and worthless.Sometimes I wake up with the word loop in my head and I stretch out and gently approach Johannes who is still dreaming and stroke him or just cling to him until he is half asleep and purring softly , began to touch my body with his hands, separated my legs in a still not fully awake state, and advanced towards my body.

After Elsa told me about Sif, I had a beach dream that night.This time the dream was so vivid that it was almost like a movie made with Technicolor technology. The sounds of waves, sea breeze, seagulls, terns, herons and yorkies were all clearly heard, and even the smell of the ocean and seaweed could be smelled . I was very happy in the dream, but I woke up with a broken feeling, as if the inside of me was cracking and slowly breaking into pieces.My heart throbbed like an engine that wouldn't start, my skin was bristling, and I couldn't think fully, as if my thoughts were splintered before they were formed.

I did nothing that day.After Johannes came home to write, I sat alone for a long time.Johannes didn't want to go home, he must have noticed I wasn't feeling well, but I said I had to work.I sat first on the bed with my notebook on my lap, then at the computer and couldn't write a single syllable. Around eleven o'clock in the morning, I got up to take a shower, change clothes and go out.With restlessness, I zigzagged through the paths and paths of Winter Garden, and walked around the Aceh trail and back to Winter Garden, and came to Monet Garden, but I felt suffocated, closed, Almost like being claustrophobic in a garden.So I turned around, left from the nearby airlock, walked half a circle on the Aceh Trail, and finally walked to the Grand Arcade, took the elevator upstairs to the terrace restaurant.The terrace restaurant is closer to the glass dome, closer to the sky, and lighter.I can look over the treetops, which makes me feel a little better.I sat for a long time in the restaurant during the noon rush hour, with my back to the dining crowd overlooking Winter Garden, doing nothing but trying to breathe normally until I felt a hand on my shoulder.I turned my head and saw Alice.

how are you my friendAlice asked. I have no idea.I answered.I really don't know, I don't know myself: after all I have Johannes, I love him, and by all indications he loves me too.I have a lot of friends who care and respect, and they care about me, and I feel safe with them.And the news of Sif's death didn't surprise me at all, I had expected and accepted it. But there is York. Alice pulled up a chair and sat down beside me, throwing her arms around my shoulders. I miss my dog.I said. your dog?I didn't know you had a dog. I have. Poor thing, said Alice: dear Dolly, poor thing.

I lean on Alice.I can't remember if I cried, but I think I should. That afternoon and evening I attended a medical experiment presentation.The experiment involved a new psychiatric drug, an antidepressant designed to work right away, unlike previous generations of drugs that took weeks of worsening depression and fatigue to kick in.A total of 30 people attended the briefing, including Eric, Reina and Shell.Shell was in a bad mood, saying he had been misled; for some reason, he thought being a librarian at the unit would keep him out of medical experiments.I don't quite understand his argument, it's probably about his service in the library.

This is only temporary, Shell.An orderly in charge of the experiment said she was pregnant, had a big belly, greasy hair and a double chin.Only when you come to this briefing, she clarified: You can't work in the library, but Feifei.Jobe can fill in temporarily, she should be a good librarian, so Shell snorted and said: Feifei.Jobe wasn't a librarian at all.Fifi.Jobe was only a library assistant, and she didn't know the library well, and besides, Shel muttered non-stop in a flat voice, I was annoyed and uncomfortable by him, I thought he was just making himself ridiculous. After the briefing, I was standing in the F elevator, about to go upstairs to find Johannes, when I suddenly found myself anxious about starting the Happy Pill tomorrow morning.That new drug has a risk of side effects, and we are told to pay attention to side effects, such as dizziness, nausea, vomiting, abnormal vision, numbness of hands and feet, and loss of feeling in the face.This is the second trial of this new drug, and the ingredients have been adjusted.In the first experiment, the above-mentioned side effects affected 90 percent of the participants. Some people developed very serious symptoms, such as bleeding gastric ulcers, or a dementia-like condition, and some people were said to actually die from it.Due to the possible risk of side effects and rumors flying everywhere, the experiment hosts decided to monitor our medication status. They were worried that we would skip the medication and ruin the whole experiment.

I knocked on Johannes' door feeling very tired, heavy and old.But as soon as I heard his footsteps coming to the door, I felt much lighter, as if being filled with helium or laughing gas, happy and light. You are finally here!He said, opening the door. I was almost pulled through the door.Johannes pulled me into his arms, closed the door behind me, and kissed my forehead, the tip of my nose, my cheeks, my lips.I reached out and groped, grabbing his back and upper arms, then gripping his back and hips.He ran his hands over my hair, my cheeks, my neck, my chest, put a thumb in my mouth and asked me to suck it, while making me look him in the eyes.With his other hand he reached under my shirt, unbuttoned my trousers, and pulled down my trousers, then my panties, but not very far, just enough to reach my pussy.He slowly pulled his thumb away, grabbed the hair at the nape of my neck, and fixed my head so I couldn't take my eyes off his face, while rubbing my clit with his middle finger in bursts, and then one, two , three, four fingers into my body.When the orgasm came, my knees were weak, and if he hadn't held me tightly, I would have fallen to my knees.I just stayed in his arms, supported by his upper body and the hand massaging my pussy.I heard myself gurgling and whimpering mixed with pain and pleasure.

After the orgasm, he let me slide down slowly and fell to my knees.I knelt on the ground, panting and sobbing, looking at his crotch and soft hands.His hands were covered with lavender veins, emerging from the thinning white fur.His hands unbuttoned his trousers, exposing his penis in front of me.I opened my mouth and wrapped my lips around his cock as tight as a sphincter.He let out a breath and said slowly: ah We lay in bed afterwards, naked.I hadn't mentioned Elsa's discovery of Sif to Johannes, I hadn't mentioned Sif or the rest of the family to him at all, so that's when I told him.

Supergirl Sif!Before I could finish, he said loudly: Superwoman Sif is your sister?I didn't know her last name was Wegg. do you know herI sit up in bed. Don't know, but when I came here three years ago, maybe three and a half years ago, everyone was talking about her and her partner Ellen.But Megan has time to get to know her. I think Supergirl Sif has the same influence on Megan as Megan has on you. Do you really think so?I said: You didn't say that to make me feel better, did you? You are thinking too much, Dolly!Why should I do such a thing?I say this because that's how I see the interaction between Sif and Meghan: it was a brief friendship, but it had a profound effect on Meghan, allowing her to quickly balance and stabilize herself and adapt to life here environment.

She seems to be adjusting really well. Probably thanks to your sister in some way. Who is such a friend to Sif?I said. Johannes didn't answer, just looked at me.It seemed to me that his expression suddenly became sad and distant. do you feel sadOr is it just getting serious?I asked. I don't know either.He said. I lay down again and took his hand.We lay on the bed holding hands and stared at the ceiling. Generations here are short.I said. Yes, said Johannes: indeed. After a while, I felt tears welling in Johannes' eyes.I lay on my side, facing him, and put my hand on his slightly rough cheek.He turned off the light, maybe because he didn't want me to see his crying face, or maybe he just thought it was time to sleep.He turned to face me in the dark, pulled me closer, put one arm around my shoulder and the other around my head, leaning against his chest.I put my arms around his waist and leaned close to him, with my forehead resting on his breastbone, and one leg hooked around his thigh, as if I wanted to climb on top of him.

We wake up in the morning, still in the same position, like two drowning souls clinging to each other in a last-ditch effort to survive in vain, or simply to avoid dying alone.