Chapter 3 Chapter 2 1978/July

1. Walk sixteen steps The elevator door closed, and after confirming that the sound of a compressor was indeed coming from behind, he slowly closed his eyes.Then collect fragments of consciousness and walk sixteen steps from the corridor of the apartment to the door of the room.Eyes kept closed, the correct sixteen steps, neither more nor less.Thanks to the whiskey, my head is as blurred as a worn screw, and my mouth smells of tobacco tar. Even so, no matter how drunk you are, you can walk sixteen straight steps with your eyes closed, as measured by a ruler.This is thanks to years of self-discipline of no particular significance.Every time I get drunk, I straighten my back, lift my face, and inhale the morning air and the smell of the concrete corridor deeply into my lungs.Then I closed my eyes and walked straight forward sixteen paces through the whiskey mist.

For this sixteen-step world, I gave a title, called the most well-behaved drunkard.It's very simple.Drunkenness, as long as you accept it as a fact. There is neither but, however, though, nor any just, yet.It's just that I was drunk. In this way, I became the most orderly drunk, the first pulsatilla in the morning, and the last covered wagon to pass the iron bridge. 5.6.7 Stop at step eight, open your eyes, and take a deep breath.Ears a little tinnitus.Tinnitus like the sea breeze blowing through the rusted barbed wire.That being said, it's been a while since I've seen the sea.

July 24th, six thirty in the morning.For watching the sea, it is an ideal season, an ideal moment.The beach has not been polluted by anyone.The edges of the beach and the waves are green, and the footprints of seabirds are scattered like needles blown by the wind. Sea, ah! I start walking again.Things about the sea can be forgotten.That has long since disappeared into the ancient past. At the sixteenth step, I stopped and stood still, opened my eyes, and I was standing right in front of the door handle as usual.He took out two days' worth of newspapers and two letters from the mailbox, and put them under his arm.Then he took out the key case from the ecstasy-like pocket, and held it still, temporarily pressing his forehead against the cold iron door.Feel like there is a slight clicking sound behind the ear.The body is soaked with alcohol like cotton.What is more normal is only consciousness.

It's terrible. The door opened about 1/3, and the body slid in through here, and closed the door.The hallway was quiet.Stiller than necessary. Then I noticed the red flats at my feet.A pair of familiar flat shoes.Sandwiched between muddy tennis shoes and cheap beach sandals, it looked like an out-of-season Christmas present.Above that lay a layer of silence like dust. She was hunched over the kitchen table.The forehead rests on the wrists, and the side is covered by the straight black hair.Between the hair you can see the whiteness of the neck, which has not been exposed to the sun.The shoulders of the calico dress that I had never seen before showed a little thin bra straps.

Between the time I took off my blouse, my black tie, and my watch, she didn't move, and as I looked at her back, I was reminded of the past.before meeting her. Hi!I tried to say hello, but it didn't sound like my own voice, as if it was specially sent from far away.As expected there was no answer. She looked as if she was asleep, and she seemed to be crying, and she seemed to be dead. I sat on the other side of the table and pressed my fingers to my eyes.Bright sunlight cut across the table.I'm in the sun, she's in the light shade.Shadows have no color.There is a potted geranium plant on the table that has withered.Someone outside the window was pouring water on the road.The sound of splashing water on the asphalt can be heard, and the smell of splashing water on the asphalt can be heard.

Would you like some coffee? Still no answer. I stood up after making sure I didn't answer, went to the kitchen to grind coffee beans for two, and turned on the radio.After the beans were ground, I realized that what I really wanted to drink was iced black tea.I always think of a lot of things after the fact. The radio kept blasting innocuous pop song after pop song perfect for the morning.Listening to songs like that, it feels like the world hasn't changed at all in the past ten years.Only the singer and the title of the song are different.And I'm just ten years older. After confirming that the boiling water has boiled, turn off the gas, stop for 30 seconds to let the boiling water still slightly, and then pour the boiling water into the coffee powder.The powder is sucked into the hot water as much as possible, and then slowly begins to expand, and the warm aroma spreads in the room.A few cicadas have already started singing outside.

Have you been here since last night?I asked with the kettle in my hand. On the table, her hair only slightly slid vertically. Have you been waiting for me? She didn't answer the question. Due to the heat of the boiling water and the strong sunlight, the room became stuffy.I close the window on the counter, turn on the air conditioner, and arrange two coffee cups on the table. drink it.I said.Little by little, my voice finally came back to resemble my own. It's better to drink a little. After a full thirty seconds, she slowly raised her face from the table with a balanced movement, just staring blankly at the withered geranium.A few of the thin hairs stuck to the cheeks.Slight moisture floated around her to form a halo.

You don't mind, she said.I didn't intend to cry. I pushed the box of tissues over, and she silently wiped her nose with it, and brushed away the hair sticking to her cheeks with her fingers. Actually, I wanted to go out before you came back.Because I don't want to meet you. But you changed your mind, right? certainly not.It's just that I don't want to go anywhere, but I'm leaving, don't worry. Anyway, let's drink coffee first. While listening to the traffic report on the radio, I sipped my coffee and cut open the envelopes of the two letters with scissors.One is a notice from a furniture store, saying that if you buy furniture within a certain period, you will get a 20% discount on all items.The other was written by someone who didn't want to think about it at all, who didn't want to read it at all.I folded the two letters together, crumpled them up, dropped them into the confetti bin by my feet, and bit into the leftover cream soda cracker.She wrapped her hands around the coffee cup as if she was keeping warm from the cold, her mouth touched the rim of the cup lightly, and just kept staring at me like that.

There is salad in the refrigerator. salad?I looked up at her. Tomatoes and lentils.Only this and nothing else.The gherkin broke and I threw it away. oh. I took out the deep blue Ryukyu glass plate containing the salad from the refrigerator, poured all the salad dressing that was only about five centimeters from the bottom of the bottle, and poured it all over the salad.Tomatoes and lentils were cold as shadows.And tasteless.The biscuits and coffee were also tasteless.Maybe it's the morning light.The morning light breaks everything down.I gave up halfway through my coffee, took out a crumpled cigarette from my pocket, and lit it with a paper match I couldn't remember ever seeing.The tip of the cigarette made a dry crunch.Then purple smoke, tracing geometric patterns in the morning light.

Go to a funeral.After the ceremony, I went to Shinjuku to drink alone. The cat ran out from nowhere, and after a long yawn, it jumped lightly on her lap and sat down.She touched the base of the cat's ears several times. You don't need to explain anything.She said it had nothing to do with me anyway. I didn't explain anything.Just talking. With a slight shrug, she tucked the straps of her bra into the dress.There was no such thing as expression on her face at all.It reminded me of the sunken streets I saw in photos at some point. It's just people I've known a little bit before.You do not know.

oh? The cat stretched its arms and legs as far as it could go in her lap, then let out a deep breath. I kept my mouth shut and stared at the sparks of the cigarette. How did you die? A traffic accident.Thirteen bones were broken. girls? Um. The seven o'clock hourly news report and traffic reports were over, and the radio started playing light rock music again.Putting the coffee cup back on the saucer, she looked into my face. So, when I die, will you drink like this? Drinking has nothing to do with funerals.It's the first glass or two that matter at most. A new day is beginning outside.A new hot day.From the windows above the counter, a group of high-rise buildings could be seen, more blindingly bright than usual. Would you like something cold? She shook her head. I took out the cold canned Coke from the refrigerator and drank it in one gulp without pouring it into a glass. A girl who can sleep with anyone.I said.It's like saying goodbye.The old friend is a girl who can sleep with anyone. Why are you saying this to me?she says. Why I do not know. All in all, a girl who can sleep with anyone, right? Yes. But it's different from you, huh? There was something special about her voice.I lifted my face from the salad plate and looked at her face through the withered bonsai. Do you think so? A little.she whispered.You are that type of person. this type? In a certain way, you have such a place.Just like a sand clock.When the hourglass is finished, someone will come and turn it upside down. is that so? Her lips parted a little, then snapped back together. I'll get the rest of the luggage.Winter coats and hats and such.I packed them all in cardboard boxes. When you are free, could you please send them to the shipping company for me? I can deliver it to your home. She shook her head quietly.No.I don't want you to come.you know Exactly what she said.I said more than I should have said. Do you know the address? Know. That's the only thing to do.Sorry for staying so long. Is this all right for the file? Well, it's all over. It's so simple.I thought there was something else. People who don't know think so.But really easy.As long as it's all over.After saying this, she patted the cat's head again.If you get divorced for the second time, it seems that you have become an expert. With eyes closed, the cat stretched only its back, and quietly put its head on her wrist.I put coffee mugs and salad plates on the countertop and use refills instead of brooms to gather cookie crumbs in one place.The sun's rays made the depths of my eyes sting. I have written all the details on the note paper on your desk.Where the various files are kept, garbage collection days, that sort of thing.Call again if something is unclear. Thanks. do you want kids No.I said.I don't want any children. In fact, I have been very confused.But it turned out like this, thankfully it didn't.Maybe it won't be like this if you have children, don't you think? There are many couples who have children and are still divorced. That's right.She talked and played with my lighter for a while.In fact, I still love you now.However, the problem must not be here.I am well aware of this myself.