Chapter 5 Chapter 3 1978/September

1 Whale's penis.woman with three careers Sleeping with a girl seems like a very big deal, and sometimes it doesn't feel like a big deal.In other words, there is sex as a self-healing act, and there is lovemaking to pass the time. There is lovemaking that is always called self-healing behavior, and there is always lovemaking that is called killing time.Some examples begin with self-healing behaviors and end with killing time, and vice versa.Anyway, our sex life is fundamentally different from that of a whale. We are not whales This is a big proposition for my sex life. ◇ When I was young, there was an aquarium about 30 minutes by bicycle from home.The aquarium is perpetually dominated by icy aquarium-like silence, except for the occasional crackling sound of splashing water that comes from nowhere.It felt as if there was a mermaid holding its breath in the corner of the dark corridor.

Schools of tuna are circling in the huge swimming pool, butterfly sharks are going upstream through the narrow waterway, piranhas open their sharp teeth to pieces of meat, and electric eels' stingy light bulbs take a long, long time to flicker. There are countless fish in the aquarium.They each have different names, different scales, and different gills.Why must there be so many kinds of fish on the earth?I really don't understand at all. Of course there are no whales in the aquarium.The whale is too big, even if the whole aquarium is dismantled and converted into a large tank, there is no way to keep the whale.Instead, keep the whale's penis in the aquarium.In other words a substitute.So what I continued to see through my sensual adolescence was not the actual whale, but the whale's penis.Tired of walking the cold aquarium pathways, I just sat on the sofa in the quiet high-ceilinged showroom, staring blankly for hours in front of the whale's penis.

It sometimes looks like a small sun-dried coconut tree.Sometimes it looks like grown corn.If there wasn't a sign up that said Whale Genitals.If it is a male, it is likely that no one will find out that it is a whale's penis.It seems that it is not so much a product of the Southern Ocean, but more interesting as a relic excavated from the deserts of Central Asia.It was unlike my penis, unlike any penis I had ever seen in the past.And there was a certain inexplicable pathos of a severed penis. The first thing I thought about after having sex with a girl was that huge whale cock.My heart aches when I think of what kind of fate and what kind of journey it was to come to the empty exhibition room of the aquarium.It felt like that was completely hopeless.However, I am only seventeen years old, everything is hopeless, obviously too young.So I've been thinking about it ever since.

That is: we are not whales. ◇ As I ran my fingers through my new girlfriend's hair in bed, I kept thinking about whales. When I think of aquariums, it's always at the end of autumn.The sink glass was as cold as ice and I was wearing a thick sweater.The sea seen from the large glass windows in the exhibition room is a deep lead color, and the countless white waves remind people of the white lace collars of the dresses worn by girls. what's on your mind?she asked. Think about the past.I said. ◇ She was twenty-one, with a slender, pretty body and ears that were almost magically shaped.She worked as a proofreader for a small publishing house, as an advertising model specializing in ears, and as a call girl who belonged to an exclusive small club composed only of acquaintances.I don't know which one of these three is her right career.She doesn't know either.

However, from the point of view of the original appearance, it seems that the model that specially shows her ears is the most natural appearance of her.I think so, and so does she.Having said that, the fields in which advertising models specializing in ears can be active are extremely limited, and the status and treatment of models are also very low.Most advertising agencies, photographers, makeup artists and magazine reporters only regard her as the master of her ears.Except for her ears, her body and spirit were completely cut off, discarded, and obliterated. But this is not the case.she says.The ear is me, and I am the ear.

When she is the proofreader and the call girl, she absolutely does not allow others to see her ears even for a moment. why?Because that's not the real me.she explained. The office of the Call Girl Club (ostensibly the name of the Actors Club) to which she belonged was in Akasaka, and she was run by a white-haired Englishwoman known as Mrs. X.She has lived in Japan for 30 years, can speak Japanese fluently, and can read almost all basic Chinese characters. Mrs. X opened a female-specific English conversation class less than 500 meters away from the call girl office, where she picked out girls with good conditions and poached them to the call girl office.That in turn sent a couple of call girls to the English conversation classroom for lessons.Of course, their tuition fees can be discounted by several percent.

Mrs. X called these call girls Dear.Her dear voice is full of soft tones like a spring afternoon. Put on your beautiful lace underwear, Dear.Pantyhose are not allowed.Or you want to add creamer to black tea, Dear.like this.She was in excellent hands with the customers, mostly well-to-do businessmen in their forties or fifties.Two-thirds are foreigners and the rest are Japanese. Mrs. X hates politicians, old people, perverts and poor people. Out of a dozen or so call girl beauties, my new girlfriend is the least concerned about appearance and looks the most ordinary dressed.In fact, when she hides her ears, she really comes across as just ordinary. Why Mrs. X fell in love with her and poached her, I really don't understand.Maybe it's because she has a special brilliance in her ordinaryness, or it's just because she thinks it's good to have an ordinary woman.In any case, Mrs. X's intention is to achieve her goal, and she also has a few stable regular customers.She wears ordinary clothes, does ordinary makeup, wears ordinary underwear, exudes ordinary soap smell, goes to Hilton, Okura Hotel, or Prince Hotel, sleeps with one or two men every week, and earns enough to eat for a month. .

Other than that, she sleeps with me for free for half the rest of the night.How she spent the other half I don't know. She works part-time as a proofreader in a publishing house, and her life is even more ordinary.She goes to work in a company on the third floor of a small building in Kanda three days a week, from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm, to proofread the first draft, make tea, and go down the stairs (because there is no elevator) to buy an eraser some type of.She was the only young bachelor, but no one thought of her.She is almost like a chameleon, able to emit or restrain her brilliance according to the different places and situations.

◇ I met her (or rather her ears) in early August after my wife and I had just broken up.I took on an ad copy job for a computer software company, where I first met her ear. The art director of the advertising company spread out the proposal book and several enlarged black-and-white photos on the table, and asked me to prepare three kinds of title copy attached to the photos within a week, and the three photos were all photos of huge ears. ear? Why ears?I try to ask him who knows.Anyway, ears.You just have to think about your ears for a week. ◇ So, for a week, I just stared at the pictures of my ears.I taped the three giant pictures of the ear to the wall in front of my desk with scotch tape, and I smoked, drank coffee, ate a sandwich, and clipped my nails while looking at the pictures.

The job was finally handed over within a week, but the picture of the ear was still on the wall afterward.On the one hand, it is troublesome to tear it off, and on the other hand, it has become my daily habit to look at pictures of ears. But the real reason why I didn't tear up the picture and throw it in the back of the drawer was because the ear was bewitching me in every way.It was exactly a pair of ears shaped like a dream.It can probably be said to be 100% ears.This is the first time I have experienced such a powerful attraction to an enlarged part of the human body (including the genitals, of course).It made me think that this seemed to me a great vortex of fate.

Some curves cross the picture boldly beyond all imagination, some curves form a group of small shadows with secretive care, and some curves depict countless legends like ancient murals.The smoothness of the earlobe surpasses all curves, and the thickness of the protruding flesh surpasses all life. A few days later I called the photographer who took the photo and asked him to tell me the name and phone number of the owner of the ear. What's the matter?the photographer asked. I am very interested because the ears are very beautiful. It's true, ears are really good.the photographer said vaguely.But I am not very good.If you want to date young girls, I can introduce you to the models from the last swimsuit shoot. Thanks.After I finished speaking, I hung up the phone. ◇ At two o'clock, six o'clock, ten o'clock, I tried to call her.Nobody answered the phone.She also seems to be living her busy life. Finally caught her at ten o'clock the next morning.I introduced myself briefly, and then tried to ask her, I want to talk to her about the advertising work a few days ago, and I wonder if we can have dinner together. But I heard that the job is over.she says. Work is over.I said.Although she seemed a little flustered, she didn't ask any other questions.We decided to meet at the tea shop on Qingshan Road the next evening. I called to reserve a table at the most exclusive French restaurant of all the restaurants I've been to in the past.Pulled out a new shirt, spent time picking out a tie, and put on a blazer I'd only worn twice. ◇ As the photographer had warned, she was indeed not very beautiful, her clothes and appearance were ordinary, she looked like a member of the choir of a second-rate women's university.But of course, none of these things mattered to me.My disappointment is that she let her straight hair down so that the ears are completely hidden in the hair. You hid your ears, huh?I said it as if nothing had happened. Um.She also said nonchalantly. We were the first group of guests at dinner time because we arrived a little earlier than the scheduled time.The lighting was dimmed, the waiters circled the place lighting red candles with long matches, and the head waiter scrutinized the arrangement of napkins, cutlery and plates with herring eyes.The oak floor combined in a herringbone pattern was polished and polished, and the soles of the waiters made a refreshing sound of creaking.The waiter's shoes appeared to be much more expensive than the ones I was wearing.The flowers in the vases are freshly placed, and the white walls are decorated with original modern art works. After looking at the wine menu, I settled for a white wine that was as light as possible, and ordered duck empanadas, steamed snapper and anglerfish liver pate for starters.After she pored over the menu, she ordered turtle soup, green salad, and halibut mousse, and I ordered sea urchin soup, veal roast with parsley, and tomato salad.My meal expenses for half a month seem to be wasted now. What a beautiful restaurant.she says.Do you come here often? It's just that work relationships come and go.Speaking of being alone, rather than eating at a restaurant, it's more suitable for me to drink and eat at a bar.That's easier.Because there is no need to think about superfluous things. What do you usually eat at the bar? There are all kinds of things.But mostly omelets and sandwiches. Omelettes and sandwiches?she says.Eating omelets and sandwiches every day at the bar? not every day.I cook by myself once in three days. So two days out of three, omelets and sandwiches at the bar? right.I said. Why omelets and sandwiches? Because good bars serve good omelets and sandwiches. oh?she says.What a weirdo. No wonder.I said. Because I didn't know how to bring it up, I silently stared at the cigarette butts in the ashtray on the table for a while. work thing right?She tentatively changed the subject. No, as said yesterday, the job is completely over.no problem.So it's fine. She took out a thin mint cigarette from the pocket of her purse and lit it with a match from the restaurant, so what?look at me. I was about to speak when the head waiter approached our table again with the sound of confident leather shoes.He smiled and showed me the labels of the wines as if he were showing a photo of his only son.After I nodded, I unplugged the bottle with a clear and pleasant sound, and poured a sip of wine for each of us into the glass.There is a scent that condenses the cost of the entire dinner. After the head waiter left, two waiters came up and placed three large plates and two small plates on the table.After the waiter went down, we resumed facing each other alone. Anyway, I really want to see your ears.I'm frank. She said nothing, but moved the duck cake and monkfish liver to the dinner plate and took a sip of the wine. Is it too difficult for you? She just smiled a little.Good French dinner is not difficult. So is it difficult to talk about the ears? Nor is it.Let's talk about it from what angle. Just talk about it from your favorite angle. She shook her head as she put the fork into her mouth.Just be frank.Because that's the best angle. We drank wine in silence for a while and continued eating. I turned a corner.I said.So someone in front of me is turning the next corner.The shadow of that certain person was no longer visible.Only the white hem flickered for a moment.But only the white of the hem has been burned deep in the eyes and never disappears.Can you understand this feeling? I think I understand. That's what I feel in your ears. We continued to eat in silence again.I pour a little wine into her glass, and a little wine into my own. This scene does not appear in the mind, but the feeling, right?she asked. correct. Ever felt like this before? I thought about it and shook my head.No. But, that is to say, because of my ears? I can't say for sure that's the case.Because there is no way to have real confidence.I've never heard that the shape of the ear always evokes a certain emotion in someone. I know someone every time they see Farrah.Farah Fawcett's nose can sneeze.There seems to be some sort of mental element to the sneezing thing.Once cause and effect are combined, it becomes difficult to separate them. About Farah.I don't know about Fossey's nose.I said taking a sip of wine.Then I forgot what I was going to say. It's a little different from that, right?she says. right.It's a little different from that.I said.The emotion I felt was extremely vague, but very real.My two hands were separated by about one meter, and then narrowed to five centimeters. There is no way to explain it well. A phenomenon that is condensed based on vague motives. As you said.I said.Your mind is seven times better than mine. I have taken correspondence courses. Correspondence courses? Yes, a correspondence course in psychology. We divided the last remaining duck cake between two people.I forgot what I was trying to say. You still can't clearly grasp the relationship between my ears and your feelings, can you? That's it.I said.In short, I don't know whether your ears are directly speaking to me, or whether something else is speaking to me through your ears, and I really can't grasp this point. She kept her hands on the table and moved her shoulders slightly.Are the feelings you are feeling good or bad? neither.And there is both.I really do not know. She held the wine glass between her hands and looked at my face for a moment.It seems that you should learn more ways to express your emotions. Descriptive skills are also lacking.I said. she smiled.But that's okay.I probably already understand what you're talking about. So what should I do? She remained silent.It looked like he was thinking about something else.There were five empty plates lined up on the table.The five plates looked like a group of extinct planets. Hi!After a long silence, she said: I think we might as well be friends.Of course it's up to you. Of course I would.I said. Moreover, he is a very dear friend.she says. I nod. In this way, we became very close friends.Less than thirty minutes had passed since the initial meeting. ◇ As a close friend, I have a question for you.I said. all right. First of all, the first question is why don't you show your ears.The second question is, has your ear ever had a special ability for someone other than me in the past? She didn't say anything, just kept looking at her hands on the table. Many reasons.she said quietly. a lot of? Um.But if I put it simply, it should be said that I am more used to myself who does not show my ears. In other words, you are different when your ears are exposed, and you are not when your ears are not exposed, right? right. Two waiters took our plates away and brought soup. Can you talk about you with your ears exposed? That was so long ago, there's no way to put it exactly.Seriously, I haven't exposed my ears once since I was twelve. But don't you have to show your ears when you do modeling work? right.she says.But those are not real ears. Not real ears? Those are closed ears. I looked up at her face after two sips of soup. Can you tell me a little more about the closed ears? Closed ears are dead ears.I kill the ear myself.In other words, it is intentional to cut off the access. I don't know if you can understand it? I don't quite understand. You try asking questions.she says. When you say kill the ear, do you mean to make the ear deaf? No.Ears can still hear.But the ears are dead.You should too. She put the spoon on the dining table, then straightened her back, raised her shoulders about five centimeters, and stretched her chin forward as far as possible. After maintaining this posture for about ten seconds, her shoulders suddenly dropped. Like this, the ears are dead, you should try it too. I tried to do it three times slowly like her, but nothing died.It's just that the intoxication of wine circulates in the body a little faster. My ears don't seem to be able to die smoothly.I'm disappointed to say that. She shook her head.It doesn't matter.Because if there is no need to die, then it is all right not to be able to die. May I ask a little more question? all right. Based on what you said, I naturally think so.That is to say, before you were twelve years old, your ears were exposed, and then one day you hid your ears. From then on until now, your ears have not been exposed once.If you have to show your ears anyway, you purposely close the pathway between your ears and your consciousness, is that right? She smiled.That's it. Did anything happen to your ears at twelve? Don't worry.She said as she crossed the table with her right hand and lightly touched the fingers of my left hand.please. I poured the remaining wine into the two glasses respectively, and slowly picked up my glass. I want to know about you first. What about me? All of them.How did you grow up, how old are you, what are you doing, etc. Very ordinary.Because it is so ordinary, you will definitely doze off when you hear it. I like ordinary things. Mine belongs to the kind of ordinary that no one can like. It's okay, just talk for ten minutes. My birthday is December 24, 1948, Christmas Eve.The so-called Christmas Eve is not an ideal birthday.Because birthday presents and Christmas presents are combined, everyone gets rid of it with cheap stuff.Her zodiac sign is Capricornus and her blood type is A. This combination is more suitable for being a bank clerk or a district office clerk.It is said that it is incompatible with Sagittarius, Libra, and Aquarius.Don't you think such a life would be boring? I find it very interesting. Growing up in an ordinary city and graduating from an ordinary school.When I was young, I was a child who said little, and when I grew up, I became a boring child.Met an ordinary girl and talked about an ordinary first love.When I was eighteen, I went to university and came to Tokyo.After graduating from university, I opened a small translation agency with a friend, and I finally managed to make ends meet.Three years ago, I started to do some work related to PR magazines and advertisements, and this aspect has grown smoothly.I met a girl who worked in the company, got married four years ago, and divorced two months ago.The reason is hard to explain.Got an old tomcat.Smoking forty cigarettes a day.No matter what, I can't quit.Owned three suits and six ties, and five hundred records that were out of fashion.I remember all the prisoners in Ellery Queen's novels.I also have the complete set of Proust's "Remembrance of Time Gone", but only read half of it.Drink beer in summer and whiskey in winter. And two out of three days, omelets and sandwiches at the bar, right? right.I said. What an interesting life. I have been living a boring life in the past, and it will be the same in the future.But I don't have any dissatisfaction with this. In short, this is something that can't be helped. I look at my watch.It's nine minutes and twenty seconds. But what you say now is not all about you, right? I looked briefly at my two hands on the table.Of course not all of them.Because no matter how boring life is, there is no way to finish it in ten minutes. Can I talk about my feelings? please. Every time I meet a stranger for the first time, I ask them to talk for ten minutes.Then grasp the other person from the exact opposite point of view of what the other person is saying.Do you think I'm doing this wrong? No.Saying that I shook my head.I think maybe you are doing the right thing. The waiter comes to put the plate on the table, another waiter puts the dishes on the plate, and the waiter in charge of the sauce pours the sauce.The shortstop throws to second base, and the second baseman throws to first, that's what it feels like. If this method is tried to apply to you, I think it will become like this.she said, cutting the knife into the flounder mousse. In other words, your life is not boring, but you are pursuing a boring life.Isn't it right? Maybe as you said.Maybe my life is not boring, but I am pursuing a boring life.But the result is the same.Anyway, what I got is already such a life.Everyone is avoiding boredom, but I want to go in by myself, it's like going in the opposite direction during rush hour.So my life has become boring and I don't complain.Only to the extent that the wife ran away. Did you break up with your wife because of this? As I said just now, it's hard to say.But just like Nietzsche also said, the so-called face of boredom, even the gods have to surrender. We ate slowly.She asked for an extra dip, and I ate the extra bread.We were each thinking of different things until the main course was finished.I put away the plates, and when the blueberry crushed ice was served and the espresso was served, I lit a cigarette.After the tobacco smoke lingers only a little in the air, it is sucked into the silent ventilation equipment.There were a few tables filled with guests.Loudspeakers on the ceiling play Mozart concertos. I want to hear more about your ears.I said. You want to know, do my ears have some special powers, right? I nod. This I wish to confirm for myself.she says.Even if I tell you, it will only be in a very limited form, and I don't think it will help you in any way. I nodded again. I can show my ears for you.she said after finishing her coffee.However, I don't know if doing this will really help you.Maybe you will regret it. Why? I mean your boredom might not be as solid as you think it is. Have no idea.I said. She reaches out across the table, overlapping mine.Secondly, there is another point, don't leave me for a few months from now.May I? OK. She took out a black hair band from her leather bag and put it in her mouth, and wrapped her hands behind her hair as if hugging her hair. After a circle, she quickly tied it up. How about it? I gasped and stared blankly at her.The mouth is dry and thirsty, and no sound can come out from any part of the body.For a moment the white stucco walls seemed to undulate.The voices in the store and the clinking of tableware seemed to change into a faint cloud shape, and then return to their original shape.You can hear the sound of the waves and feel the nostalgic smell of evening and sunset.However, all of this is just a small part of the many things I feel in just a hundredth of a second. Incredible.I said as if to squeeze out my voice.It seems that they are not the same person. you're right.she says.