Chapter 19 2 Strange words of strange men (2)

I just talked to you about Van Yong.the man said.But that's not to criticize your mediocrity.Simply put, just because the world itself is mediocre, so are you.Do not you think so? have no idea. The world is ordinary.That's right.So is the world mediocre from the beginning?wrong.The world was chaotic at the beginning.Chaos is not mundane.The mediocrity began after human beings differentiated the means of life and production.And Marx fixed the mediocrity by positing the proletariat.That is why Stalinism was directly combined with Marxism.I'm sure about Max.Because he is one of the few geniuses who still remembers the primordial Chaos.In the same sense, I also affirm Dostoevsky.But I don't agree with Marxism, it would be too mediocre.

Small voices from deep in the man's throat I am speaking very frankly now.That's in return for your frank statement just now.And now I decided to start answering your so-called naive questions.But after I finish speaking, maybe the paths you can choose left will be extremely narrow.I hope you understand this in advance.Simply put, you upped the stakes.May I? Have no idea.I said. ◇ Now, there is an old man in this house who is dying.the man said.The reason is clear.He has a huge blood tumor in his brain.A blood tumor so big it distorted the shape of the brain.How much do you know about brain medicine?

Almost nothing is known. Simply put, it was a blood bomb.It is formed by abnormal swelling after blood circulation is hindered.Like a snake swallowing a golf ball.Once it explodes, the function of the brain will stop.But surgery is not possible.Because as long as it is stimulated by a little bit, it will explode.In other words, in realistic terms, the only option is to die.Maybe a week later, maybe a month later.No one knows. The man narrowed his lips and let out a slow breath. Death is not a strange thing, because it is an old man, and the name of the disease is very clear.It's strange how he's managed to survive until now.

What the man was trying to say, I had no idea. In fact, it would not be surprising if he died thirty-two years ago.The man continued.Or forty-two years ago.This hematoma was first discovered by an American military doctor during the medical examination of Class A war criminals.It was the autumn of 1946.Some time before the trial in Tokyo.The doctor who discovered the blood tumor was shocked when he saw the X-ray.Because, the fact that a person with such a large blood tumor in his brain can live and live more actively than ordinary people is far beyond the common sense of medicine.So he was transferred from Sugamo to St. Luke's Hospital, which was accepted as a military hospital at that time, for a detailed examination.

The examination lasted for a year, but nothing was clarified.I mean except that it's not weird to die anytime, and it's weird to be alive.But from then on, instead of experiencing any inconvenience, he continued to live vigorously.The activity of the mind is also extremely normal.The reason is unclear.A dead end.People who should die in theory are still alive and well. However, several mild symptoms became clear.Every forty days is a cycle, and there will be severe headaches between three days.This headache, according to his own testimony, first started in 1936.It is speculated that it was the period when the blood tumor occurred.Since the headaches were so severe, he was on painkillers during that time.To put it plainly, it is an anesthetic.However, although anesthetics can certainly relieve pain, they can also cause strange hallucinations.A hallucination of intense concentration.What kind of thing that is, only I know, but it seems certain that it will not be pleasant.Detailed records about the hallucinations are still intact in the US military.Physicians do write it down in great detail.Although I got it illegally and read it several times, it was very tiresome despite its businesslike appearance.I believe that few people can bear to actually experience it as a hallucination on a regular basis.

It is also unknown why such hallucinations occur.It has been speculated that perhaps the hematoma has something like an energy source periodically emanating from it, and that the headache is a physical reaction against it.And when the reactionary wall is removed, the energy directly stimulates a certain part of the brain, and as a result, hallucinations are created.Of course, this is purely a hypothesis, but it assumes that the US military is also interested.And a thorough investigation has begun.That's a top-secret investigation run by the intelligence agency.Why must the U.S. Intelligence Agency intervene in a blood tumor investigation of only one person?Although it is still unclear, there are several possibilities that can be speculated.First of all, the first possibility may be to conduct some kind of extremely delicate investigation of the situation in the name of medical investigation.That is to grasp the spy channels and opium channels in mainland China.Due to Chiang Kai-shek's long-term defeat, the United States gradually lost its relationship with China.They are very eager to gain the access that Mr. has mastered.But this kind of interrogation cannot be conducted openly.In fact, after this series of investigations, the husband was not sent to trial but was released instead.If there is any black market trading among them, it is very possible.That is, the exchange of information and freedom.

The second possibility is to explain the relationship between his eccentricities and blood tumors as a right-wing leader.I'll explain this to you later, it's an interesting idea, but I don't think they know anything about it in the end either.Living itself is puzzling, how is it possible to know such a thing?Of course, you can't understand it without trying to dissect it.So this is also a dead end. The third possibility is related to brainwashing.Thinking is based on the idea that by sending a certain stimulus wave to the brain, it may cause a specific response.This sort of thing was all the rage at the time.It was later proved that in fact, the United States organized a group engaged in this kind of brainwashing research.

It is not clear which of these three points the main focus of the intelligence agency's investigation is.What conclusions were drawn from these investigations?Not sure either.Everything is buried in history.The only ones who knew the truth were a small group of high-ranking members of the U.S. military at that time, and Mr. himself.About this, Mr. has never disclosed to anyone, including me, and I am afraid that he will not disclose it in the future.So what I'm telling you now is pure speculation. When the man said this, he coughed quietly.How much time has passed since entering the house?I simply have no idea.

But the period when the blood tumor occurred, that is, the situation in 1936, we still have a little more detailed understanding.In the winter of 1932, my husband was imprisoned for being involved in an assassination plan of an important person.Prison life continued until June 1936.Prisons keep records of routine formulas and medical records.In addition, he has also mentioned it to us occasionally.These are roughly put together, and that's what's going on.Shortly after Mr. entered the prison, he suffered from severe insomnia.And it's not just insomnia.It is insomnia in a very dangerous stage.Sometimes I can't sleep for three days, four days, or even nearly a week.At that time, the police would deprive political prisoners of sleep and force them to confess.Because Mr. You Qi was involved in the struggle between the Emperor's Dao faction and the Control faction, the interrogation was particularly severe.When the prisoner wants to sleep, he is splashed with water, beaten with a bamboo knife, and irradiated with strong light, cutting off the prisoner's sleep time piecemeal like this.After a few months, most people are dying.Because the nerves of sleep are destroyed.Either die, go mad, or suffer from severe insomnia.Mr. was forced to take the last road.The complete recovery from insomnia was in the spring of 1936.That is, the same period as the occurrence of blood tumors.What do you think about this?

The extreme insomnia for some reason hinders the blood circulation in the brain, causing blood tumors, isn't it? This is the most common sense assumption.Almost a layman can think of it, so maybe the medical corps of the US military thought of it too.But that's not enough.I think there is an important factor missing here.I wonder if the hematoma phenomenon is just a subordinate of that factor?Because many people have had blood tumors, but do not have such symptoms.And that alone is no way to prove the reason why the husband continues to live. What the man said seemed to make sense.

Another point, there is a strange thing about blood tumors.That is to say, with the spring of 1936 as the boundary, Mr. can be said to be completely reborn as if he had become another person.The former gentleman, to put it simply, was an ordinary right-wing activist.The three sons were born poor farmers in Hokkaido. They ran away from home at the age of twelve and crossed the sea to North Korea. This did not go well, and they returned to the mainland to join right-wing groups.His blood is very strong, and he often wields a Japanese sword. He is such a type of person.Probably didn't even recognize a few big characters.But in the summer of 1936, after he was released from prison, Mr. suddenly ascended to the highest peak of the right wing in all aspects.Whether it is the leadership temperament that grasps the hearts of the people, the theoretical theory, the speech ability that arouses fanatical reactions, the political predictive ability, decisiveness, and more importantly, the ability to easily agitate society by taking advantage of the weaknesses of the public. The man let out a sigh of relief. Of course, as a right-wing thinker, his theory and world understanding are stupid.But that doesn't matter.The question is how he can organize it.Just as Hitler organized the stupid idea of ​​the circle of life and the superior nation into the level of the state.But Mr. did not embark on this road.What he embarked on was a road of shadows.He didn't appear on the surface, but secretly promoted the society.So in 1937 he went to mainland China.However, let's not mention this first.Let's go back to the topic of hematoma.What I want to say is that the period of hematoma and the period of his miraculous self-transformation are really consistent with each other. Based on your assumptions, I say.There is no causal relationship between blood tumors and self-transformation, and they are parallel in position. There should be a mysterious factor on top of that, right? You are really smart.the man said.Be concise and clear. So what does sheep have to do with these? The man took out a second cigarette from the pack, smoothed the tip with his fingertips and put it in his mouth.It didn't fire.In order.the man said. The heavy silence continued for a while. We built a kingdom.the man said.A powerful underground kingdom.We take everything in.Politics, finance, mass communication, bureaucracy, culture, and everything else you can't imagine.Even things we are hostile to.Everything from power to anti-power is included.Most of them didn't even realize they were included.In short, it is an extremely smooth and complex organization.And this organization was established by Mr. alone after the war.In other words, Mr. alone controls the bottom of the huge ship called the country.He had only to pull the bolts, and the ship would sink, and the passengers would be in the sea before they could figure out what happened. Then he lit his cigarette. But this organization also has limits.That is the death of the king.As long as the king dies, the kingdom perishes.why?For that kingdom was established and maintained by the genius of a man, if, according to my supposition, by that enigmatic factor, and is maintained till now.As soon as Mr. dies, everything is over.why?Our organization is not a bureaucratic organization, but a complete machine with one mind at its apex.So our organizational significance is here, and so is our weakness.Or used to be here.Due to the death of Mr., the organization will sooner or later fall apart, just like the palace of Valhalla, which was swallowed by the flames, sank into the sea of ​​​​morality.There is no one who can succeed Mr.Organizations will be divided as great palaces will crumble, and upon the ruins will be built national dwellings.A world of homogeneity and probability.There is no such thing as will here.Maybe you think it's right, I mean split.But please think about it.If the whole of Japan is just flat, with no mountains, no coasts, and no lakes, just rows of densely packed national houses, do you think it’s right? have no idea.I said.I don't know if the question itself is appropriate. You have a good head.The man said with his hands folded on his lap.Fingertips and tap the time slowly.The statement about national housing is of course only an example.To be more correct, the organization can be divided into two parts.One is for the part that moves forward, and the other is for the part that pushes others forward.There are other parts that perform various functions, but roughly speaking, our organization is established by these two parts.The other parts hardly make any sense.The part that goes forward is the will part, and the part that is pushed forward is the benefit part.Most people bring up Mr. as a question, only the benefit part.In addition, after the death of the husband, people will gather to ask for division, and only this part of the proceeds will be taken.No one wants the will part.Because no one understands.This is what I mean by segmentation.Will cannot be divided.Either 100% acceptance, or 100% elimination. The man's fingers were still tapping slowly on his knee.Other than that, everything is the same as the beginning.Unfathomable gaze and cold eyes, expressionless dignified face.That face was always facing me at the same angle. What does the so-called will mean?I try to ask. Rule over space, rule over time, rule over the idea of ​​possibility. I don't understand. Of course no one understands.Only sir, that is to say instinctively understands it.To put it more extreme, it is the negation of self-knowledge.It is here that a complete revolution can be achieved.In terms that you can easily understand, labor includes capital, and capital includes the revolution of labor. It sounds like fantasy. On the contrary.Knowing is fantasy.The man cut off the words. Of course, what I'm talking about now is nothing more than language.No matter how the language is arranged, it cannot clearly explain to you the form of the will held by the husband.My explanation is nothing more than expressing the relationship between me and that will in another language.The negation of cognition is related to the negation of language.When individual knowledge and evolutionary continuity, the two pillars of Western European humanism, lose their meaning, language loses its meaning too.Existence exists not as individuals, but as chaos.The so-called your existence is not an independent existence, but just a mass of chaos.My chaos is your chaos, and your chaos is mine.To be is to communicate, and to be communicated is to be. Suddenly the room became very cold, and it seemed that a warm bed had been prepared next to me, and someone was trying to lure me into it.But of course that was an illusion.It is September now, and there are countless cicadas continuing to sing outside. The enlargement of consciousness that you practiced in the second half of the 1960s, or that you wanted to practice, completely failed because it was rooted in the individual.In other words, the quality of the individual has not changed, if only the consciousness expands, there will only be despair in the end.What I mean by mediocrity is this.But no matter how you explain it, you probably won't understand it.And I didn't expect you to understand.I can only try to be as frank as possible. Let me explain the drawing I just gave you.the man said.That painting is a copy of the medical records of a US Army hospital.The date was July 27, 1946.That painting was drawn by the doctor himself at the request of the doctor.As part of hallucination description assignments.In fact, according to the medical records, this sheep really appeared in Mr.'s hallucinations with a very high frequency.In terms of numbers, it is about 80%, that is, out of every five hallucinations, sheep appear four times.And it's not an ordinary sheep, it's a sorrel sheep with a star on its back. Since then, the sheep's coat of arms engraved on the lighter has become Mr.'s own mark, which has been used since 1936 until now.I think you noticed that too.The heraldic sheep is exactly the same as the drawing of the sheep left on the medical records.And it's the same as the sheep in the photo you're holding now.Don't you think it's a very interesting thing? Probably just by chance.I said.I tried to make it sound as straightforward as possible, but it didn't work out very well. besides.The man continued.The husband is very enthusiastic about collecting all the information about sheep at home and abroad.And once a week, I spent a long time checking the sheep-related records found in all newspapers and magazines published in Japan.I help him with this all the time.Mr. is really very enthusiastic.It's almost like looking for something.Since my husband was sick and unable to get up, I continued to do this assignment very personally.Very interesting.What will happen?At this time you ran out.you and your sheep.This, no matter how you think about it, is not accidental. I tried to determine the weight of the lighter in my hand, it was really a comfortable weight.Neither too heavy nor too light.There is such a weight in the world. Why is Mr. so zealously looking for sheep?do you know? have no idea.I said.Wouldn't it be faster for you to ask Mr. If I could ask, I would have asked.Sir has been unconscious for the past two weeks and I'm afraid he won't wake up again.And if the husband dies, the secret about the star mark on the sheep's back will be buried in darkness forever.It ended like this, I just couldn't stand it.Not for my personal gain or loss, but for a greater cause. I pushed the lid off the lighter, rubbed the file to light it, and put the lid back on. You probably think what I'm saying is stupid.Maybe so too.Really stupid.But what I want you to understand is that's all we have left.Sir is dying.A will will die.And everything around this will will die.Then all that remains is what can be counted in numbers.Other than that nothing was left.So I want to find this sheep. He closed his eyes for a few seconds for the first time.There was silence in between.I state my assumptions.This is purely a hypothesis.If you don't like it forget it.I think that sheep is the prototype of Mister's will. It's like saying animal-shaped biscuits.I said.The man ignored my words. It is possible that the sheep entered Mr.That must have happened in 1936.And since then, for more than forty years, the sheep has been living in the husband's body.There must be grasslands and birch trees in there.Just like in the photo.what you think? I think it's a very interesting hypothesis.I said. That is a very special sheep.Very.special.sheep.I want to find out, and I need your help. What are you looking for? do nothing.Probably there is nothing I can do about it.That's too big, what can I do?I just hope to see with my own eyes what is about to be lost.And if there's any hope for that sheep, I'm willing to do my best.Because once my husband is dead, my life has almost no meaning. So he fell silent.I was also silent.Only the cicada continued to sing.The trees in the garden were blown by the evening wind, and the leaves rustled against each other.The room remained silent.Like an unstoppable contagion, particles of death floated throughout the room.I tried to imagine the prairie in my husband's mind.The grass withered, and after the sheep escaped, the vast grassland. I repeat, can you please tell me where did you get this picture from?the man said. I can't say.I said. The man sighs.I've been frank with you, so I hope you'll be frank with me. I have no position to say.If I said it, it might cause trouble for the person who gave me the photo. So.the man said.Do you have any basis for the idea that the sheep might cause that person some kind of trouble? There is no basis.It's just a feeling.I feel like something is not quite right.I think so while listening to you.Something is not quite right.Kind of like a sixth sense thing. So you can't say right? right.After I finished speaking, I thought about it.I have a little authority on getting into trouble.When it comes to ways to get people into trouble, I know better than anyone.So I usually avoid such things as much as possible.But because of this, it ended up causing more trouble for others.No matter how you change it, it's the same.It's just that they know that they are all the same, but they can't be like that from the beginning.This is a matter of principle. I do not quite understand. This is the so-called mediocrity that appears in various forms. I sucked a cigarette, lit it with the lighter in my hand, and inhaled the cigarette.I feel a little bit more relaxed. If you don't want to say it, don't say it.the man said.But you have to find the sheep.This is our last condition.Within two months from now, if you can find the sheep, we will pay you whatever you want.If you can't find it, your company and you are doomed.is this okay? I don't have a choice.I said.But if everything is a mistake.Are there no sheep with stars on their backs? The result is the same.Whether it is good for you or me, you will either find the sheep or you will not find the sheep.There is no middle.I'm also sorry, but anyway, as I said earlier, your stakes have been raised.Now that I have picked up the ball, I can only run towards the finish line.Even if there is no end, you have to run forward. I see.I said. The man took out a thick envelope from his coat pocket and placed it in front of me.Use this as an expense.Call again if it's not enough.I'll add it right away.Do you have any questions? No doubts, but feelings. What do you think? This whole thing sounds unbelievably stupid, but from your mouth, it seems that there is such a thing, I think if I say this today, no one will believe it . The man only tilted his lips slightly.It doesn't look like it's smiling.It's going to start moving tomorrow.I just said that it will be two months from today. It's hard work yet.Two months might not work.After all, it is to find a sheep in a vast land. The man didn't say anything, just kept staring at my face.When I was stared at by him, I felt as if I had become an empty swimming pool.Dirty, cracked, empty pool not sure if it will be usable next year.The man stared at my face without blinking for thirty seconds.Then speak slowly. It's time for you to move.the man said. Indeed it seems so.