Chapter 39 10 and time passes

Darkness crept in from my ears like oil.Someone is hammering the frozen earth with a giant hammer.The hammer struck the earth exactly eight times.The earth is not broken.Just a little crack. Eight o'clock, eight o'clock at night. I woke up shaking my head.Body paralysis.Head hurts.It's as if someone put me in a shaker with ice cubes and shook me up and down.There is nothing more annoying than waking up in the dark.It seems that everything has to be done from scratch.When I first woke up, it was as if I was living in someone else's life.It will take a while for that to overlap with my own life.It's also a strange thing to see your own life as someone else's.Even the existence of such a character alive is incomprehensible in itself.

I washed my face with kitchen tap water and drank two glasses of water along the way.The water was as cold as ice, but it still couldn't wash the heat off my face.I sat back on the sofa again, and in the darkness and silence, I picked up the fragments of my life bit by bit.Although I couldn't find anything remarkable, at least that was my life.Then slowly I came back to myself.I am who I am, and it is difficult to explain clearly to others.And it probably won't interest anyone. It feels like someone is watching me, but I don't really care.That's what it feels like to be alone in a big room.

I try to think about cells.As my wife said, everything will be lost in the end.Even oneself will lose.I try to press my face with my palm.The face I felt in my hand in the dark didn't feel like my face, but someone else's face that took the shape of my face.Not even a clear memory.The names of everything melted away, sucked into darkness. The clock struck half-past eight in the darkness.The snow had stopped and the sky was still covered with thick clouds.There was total darkness.For a long time I sank into the sofa, biting my thumbnail.I can't even see my own hands.It was cold in the room because the fire was out.I wrapped the blanket around me and stared into the dark depths in a trance.It feels like squatting at the bottom of a deep well.

Time passed.Dark particles draw uncanny patterns on my retina.The drawn figure disappeared silently after a while.Other graphics are drawn.In the space that is as still as quicksilver, only the darkness moves. I stop thinking and let time pass.Time continues to flow past me.New darkness draws new graphics. The clock struck nine.After the ninth chime was slowly sucked into the darkness, silence crept in through the gap. Can we talk about it?said the mouse. OK.I said.