Chapter 25 twenty four

During these three days, I used the cover of studying for homework to calmly observe Qiuming's expression from the sidelines.But she is still so gentle and reserved, and she has little contact with me; she rarely speaks when we meet.I think this is probably because she is concerned about the surrounding environment. Of course, what worries me the most is my younger brother and Xiaolan.In their young hearts, maybe they can't keep such a big secret.But by coincidence, my younger brother went swimming in the small river that night, caught a cold, developed a high fever, and lay obediently on the sickbed.

What about Xiaolan, since she lost her playmate, she can't be seen anymore?I think, maybe sister Alan is much more sensitive than me, and has a way to restrain her actions. On the second night, I kept this important time in mind, and while my family was enjoying the cool, I secretly packed up the clothes and daily utensils I was going to leave.He claimed that he was not feeling well, and that he slept on the bed early, and he was afraid that they would detect him a little bit. Everything is as usual.After a while, I heard the voices in the house become silent.After a while, I heard the sound of the servant Lao Wang closing the door.After a while, I heard my mother's footsteps!He came into the room and stroked my forehead, then walked out gently.

Pushing open the window, I stared at the clear night sky, the stars and the moon obsessively. It was already late at night, and I got up quietly.He ran to the mother's bedroom like a thief, and saw from the window lattice that under the dim light, the mother and younger brother were sleeping on a wooden bed.Tears were still rolling in the corners of his younger brother's eyes. If my father's snoring hadn't startled me, I really wanted to run in and cry bitterly with my mother.Yes!When she woke up, knowing my rebellious actions, how many tears would she shed again! Forgive your unfilial son!Parents!I thought: It would be great if my father could give me a whip at this time!

Feeling sad for a while, I held back my tears and walked to my sister's bedroom. I knew that my sister and Qiuming lived together.They probably coveted the coolness of the night, and they didn't even close the windows. Under the moonlight, I clearly saw my sister's smiling sleeping face. Qiuming fell asleep with her face turned away so that I couldn't see her face.Well, I really don't dare to look at her again.Maybe it's the last moment! Forgive me, forgive me!Tyumen But, I should go!I said softly in my heart.Reluctantly, I went back to the bedroom, lit the lamp, and wrote a letter in detail. I told them the reason why I left home, and asked them not to miss me.Especially Qiuming, I wrote a lot of truth to her to cover up my guilt.Everything was ready; sure enough, those bright stars were already parallel to the treetops outside the window. I sneaked to the garden in the backyard and climbed over the low wall.

The wilderness was very quiet, so quiet that one could almost hear the beating of one's own heart.There was wind, and the treetops were swaying gently, and I could see the flickering fire in the melon field from a distance. Occasionally, a dog barked, and I squatted under the corner of the wall in horror; after panting for a while, I sprinted towards the lawn along the bamboo fence like a snake. The moonlight seemed to be a layer of silver-gray mist.In the mist, I saw that under the big tree, there was indeed a figure with a black veil on the top, wandering back and forth like a ghost.

Sister Alan!I wiped the sweat from my brow and cried out softly. She didn't seem to hear my voice, she still raised her head and stared at the sky.I seem to see her holding a white handkerchief in her hand, wiping away the tears. alan!I'm afraid I'll startle her all of a sudden; stop and call her softly.She seemed to have heard my footsteps, looked around, but calmly returned to the big tree and sat on a stone bench. When I got close to her, she turned her face away unintentionally and let out a deep sigh. You have been waiting for a long time, Miss Alan!I felt a soreness in my heart, held back tears, and touched it desperately.In her nervousness, she suddenly avoided me; she jumped up and quickly pulled off the black veil on her face.Tremblingly said to me: cousin!

ah!Oh it's you!Tyumen!I almost cried out.In an instant, my eyes felt dim, and I was leaning against the tree trunk, all the muscles in my body were trembling nervously, as if I was facing a vicious nightmare.Yes, only in nightmares have I experienced such horrors. In a coma, I felt a pair of limp arms wrap around my neck, followed by a burst of crying. After a while, I gradually woke up. Ashamed, anxious, like a fire burning in my heart.Gathering my mind, I quickly pulled down her arm and sternly called out to her: Qiuming, you! cousin!sorry!I ruined your plans.Qiuming took a few steps back, staring coldly and motionless.

I didn't expect you to be such an insidious person! I, Qiuming, suddenly opened my trembling lips, trying to say something, but couldn't continue.Suddenly, she clasped her chest desperately and laughed like crazy.The laughter was so painful that it shook in the clear night, like the scream of an owl. Tyumen!I was horrified, and hurriedly took her hand, and said to her tremblingly: "Don't do this, I was wrong!" What?She stopped laughing and stared at me obsessively.In the moonlight, I saw a strange gleam in her eyes. Yes!I was wrong!I say it again. Are you saying you shouldn't have decided to do this?

No!I feel like I just had a berserk attitude. oh!She seemed to think of something, and said to me sternly: Cousin, I never thought you would have such a set of deceiving skills! cheat?This sentence hit my chest like a sharp arrow. Yes, cheating a person's heart and soul.She was furious, but she pretended to be very gentle, and spit out every word to me. You can't say that, Tyumen!Do you know the pain in my heart? pain!She sneered: Do you also know that a girl can't bear the pain in her heart? I know, but I can't not do it!I calmly turned my face away. Don't do it brightly and honestly!

Unfortunately, I turned my head and muttered: But the family and social environment are like this. Surrounded by a dark atmosphere, can you say that I should light a torch and break out in the dark? Then you should plan ahead, I know you only decided three days ago. No, you should say that we made such a decision five or six years ago! Five years ago, Qiuming pondered for a while in sadness: I don't believe that what happened five years ago can still have such a great potential. Yes, others don't understand us.I seem to be begging her. Can you say that you don't understand my mood at all?

But I don't believe that three years of true love can't change a person's heart. For faith, for love, for. In this way, you have not missed me at all in the past three years? Of course, I approached her, hugged her shoulder, and said sadly to her: Qiuming, please believe my words, I am grateful to you, and I will never forget the benefits you have done to me in my life. No, cousin, I don't want this!She threw herself into my arms, hugged me tightly, and cried bitterly. Very strange, in such a situation, I feel very messy and empty in my heart.No stimulation, no emotion, like an unconscious puppet.I said blankly: Yes; Qiumen!i'm sorry for you; forgive me Looking up, I saw that the sky was getting brighter, and the moon had fallen from the treetops to the distant hills.For the first time, I feel that the moonlight is so bleak, so sad, the moon with diminished light is more stern and moving than the stars! Thinking of the stars, I stared blankly at the constellations on both sides of the Milky Way.Cowherd and Weaver Girl reappeared in my heart like dreams. Who made up such absurd love stories! Occasionally a rooster crowed, like the sound of a police siren, vibrating violently on my heartstrings. I rubbed my eyes and cried out in a raving voice: Qiuming!How did you know about our date? Are you saying I shouldn't know? Don't make fun of me like that, Tyumen!I bit my lip and said in pain: I want to ask you, have you ever seen Sister Alan here? No!She raised her head slowly. she didn't come? Yes, she just decided to do it this afternoon? How did you know about our plan like this?I have another time. Do you think this is a great secret?She looked at me contemptuously and lowered her head. Um!Apart from sister Alan and me, no third person will know! But someone innocent will tell me. Is it the younger brother?I suddenly remembered that on the day of our date, my brother had heard our plan in the grass.Although I have repeatedly warned him, unexpectedly he still came against me like this.However, didn't he fall ill that night? Yesterday, in his dream, he mistook me for your sister Alan. I suddenly realized, and said with embarrassment and anger: So you got the news and came to guard against us like catching thieves. No, Qiumen shook his head lightly: At that time, I couldn't understand these many things until I met Alan. did you see herI looked at her in surprise. Um!This afternoon, my cousin and I ran to her house and saw her packing. You insulted her?I looked at her angrily. No!Qiuming sobbed and cried: Am I such an impolite person?We talked for a long time, she was so nice, she comforted me like a sister! What did she say to you? She said that she was willing to sacrifice herself, she was willing to give up this plan, she told you the agreed time and place, she is here waiting for you, she wanted me to say sadly, Qiumen: I really didn't expect her to be such an amazing woman. You and I stared at her blankly. At the time, I was moved to tears by her sincerity, which I didn't want to do.To tell you the truth, I wish you all would leave me together, but she refused. She begged me to leave her a way out. Why? She said: "It was an unimaginable tragedy, of course, in terms of the family and the community.Personally, she realizes that she does not want to put such a bleak prospect of happiness on another person's real pain.She said: She wanted me to help her out of this emotional pain.She wants me to advise you, forget her, forget her forever.Otherwise, even if she leaves the human world immediately and is in another world, she will not be able to rest in peace. Do you think she is right?I looked at her painfully. So you still want to pester her hard? No!I shook my head blankly. So Qiuming gently held my hand: Cousin!It's getting late, let's go home! go home!I stood up and felt a bleak atmosphere before dawn, the whole world was dead silent, my body was like an autumn leaf floating in the air.I thought about it for a while, and said to Qiuming: All right!cousin!You can go back first. Why?Could it be I need to rest here a little longer. Then I'll wait for you! No!Tyumen!I said impatiently: "It's almost dawn, let's walk together, it would be inconvenient if someone sees us." All right!She hesitated for a while and said: "The back door is still open. I'll go back first. I'll wake up my cousin later and ask her to pick you up!" So be it!I echoed, watching her walk away with her head down.I strolled to Sister Alan's door and inspected it for a while. I was really hopeless and had mixed feelings.Then I went back under the big tree, hugging the trunk, and wept bitterly. In a sad mood, I think of the situation in the future, which is still an endless tragedy.I don't want to see sister Alan suffer because of me, and I don't want to see Qiuming suffer emotional pain forever.Maybe they can live a little more quietly without me, okay!Why can't I sacrifice myself so that others can get real peace! suicide!I hugged the tree trunk obsessively, a terrifying thought suddenly came to my mind. Suicide can solve all problems!Can suicide bring them peace?I seemed to be talking to another person: Didn’t you write an article against suicide in the literary supplement?Is that weak, that is coward?That is. but. So a new idea suddenly became clear in my mind, and I murmured again: "Let's go!"Leave them, leave here, go to a place where there is no trouble. Thinking of this, I picked up my travel bag without thinking, and staggered towards the village along an ancient road.