Chapter 32 Thirty one

The red leaves are falling, the snow is powder flying, the winter in the north is coming, and the school is on winter vacation. In order to get rid of the loneliness during the winter vacation, Yanan wrote to Yang Ziyun, asking him to make an appointment with Zhang Youhua, Shen Chao and Xiao Yudian to come to our school to discuss celebrating the Lunar New Year. Yang Ziyun made a special long-distance phone call with Yanan in their school. He told us that Zhang Youhua and Shen Chao had decided to go back to their hometown. He originally planned to bring Xiaoyudian back home; but for us, it was temporarily canceled. This plan.However, he does not advocate celebrating the New Year at school. He hopes that we will not be polite and have a happy reunion at a relative's house in Xiaoyudian.

It turns out that Xiaoyudian has an aunt who moved from the south to Peiping a month ago. The place she lives in is very quiet and spacious. As long as we are willing, they will warmly welcome us. In order to accommodate them, Yanan immediately agreed.Sure enough, three days later, we received an invitation from Xiao Yudian from her aunt's house, telling us to prepare our luggage that day; the next day she accompanied her uncle, Mr. Ou, and drove to the school to pick us up in person. The school holidays are really a vivid sketch of society. Some people go home happily for reunion, while others spend their time in school sadly.Yanan and I chatted to comfort ourselves, and finally we could borrow the warmth of other people's families to comfort our misery.

Aunt Xiao Yudian’s family is really a happy paradise, with a good life, and four lively and healthy children; the eldest daughter has just entered junior high school, and the youngest son is still in his infancy. The couple is very harmonious, and Oberchon is not only a Good husband, and he is an honest and kind fur merchant. Although he is a little less educated, he does not have the smell of ordinary philistines. At first, we felt unfamiliar and cramped in Oujia, but within a few days, we got along very well.Mrs. Ou cleaned up the wing room with one living room and two rooms for us. Yanan lived with Xiao Yudian, and Yang Ziyun and I slept on a big bed. There was a raging fire in the middle hall. We accompanied their family and chatted around the fireplace. , Gossip is commonplace, but it is not funny.

On the night of New Year's Eve, it was snowing heavily, and that night, Ou's house was even more lively; in the living room of the front yard, there were many single employees in the business firm eating wine and playing cards!We were having fun in the backyard, Mr. Ou and Yanan played against each other, and Yang Ziyun led the children to set off firecrackers in the yard.Xiao Yudian helped his aunt to light a dozen big red candles as thick as an arm in the main room where the priest was enshrined.There are also various palace lanterns hanging under the eaves, covering the blooming wintersweet flowers in front of the window, showing an antique flavor.

After the New Year's dinner, the Ou family had the old rules of keeping the year old. Yanan received a call from a classmate temporarily and was busy with a meeting.Xiaoyudian pulled me to play bridge with the Oujia couple. I said that I was not familiar with the skills, and asked Yang Ziyun to fill in the vacancy, sitting alone on the sofa and listening to records. The feelings of a wanderer, touching the scene, in a piece of nostalgic music, I think of the scene of family reunion in the family, as if a stone is pressed on my heart; I can no longer arouse the slightest interest in joy.

They probably also knew that I was homesick, and advised me to go back to my room to rest for a while, and then discuss another program after Yanan came back.Xiao Yudian was afraid that I would be lonely, so she took me to their room and gave me her and Yanan's photo album to relieve my boredom. From Yanan's photo album, I suddenly remembered the photo of Alan that I stole. I thought; Yanan and Alan must often have letters to live in. This is a good opportunity. Why not read from their letters? Where did Zhonglai get news from Alan?Thinking of this, I quietly walked to Yanan's desk and started to work.

In the drawer were several manuscripts, many leaflets promoting the Anti-Japanese War, and a hardcover diary.I took out the diary and was about to open it; suddenly, my hands trembled nervously.Yes, I can't peek at the secrets of other people's diaries. For a moment, a moral concept stares at me like a pair of stern eyes.I panicked, this thick diary slipped from my hand and fell to the ground, and the notes caught in the diary also flew out like butterflies. Suppressing his nervousness, he stretched out his head and looked out the window. Xiaoyudian and them were having fun, and the staff of Mr. Ou's firm were still drinking and guessing in the living room in the front yard.There are still snowflakes in the sky, and the holly tree seems to be covered with a thick layer of cotton wool.

Nothing happened, I lowered my head to pick up the scraps of paper that fell from the diary; a student registration card, several notices from the school, and a green letterhead.I gathered them together and immediately wanted to put them in the original position, but I was afraid that I might have made a mistake in the number of pages.While hesitating, I suddenly discovered that the familiar handwriting on the letterhead was the news about Sister Alan I was looking for. Sister Yanan: I received your letter the day before yesterday. You gave me many valuable teachings, which I should always keep in my heart.

I should have replied to you immediately, lest you miss me.It's just that in recent days, because of career issues, I want to wait until a clear decision is made to tell you.It was not until today that the school released the list, and at the same time, I received a notice asking me to report tomorrow.After about a few years of study, I can put on that white uniform and officially serve patients. You must be happy about my future. Speaking of which, this motivation came about after my illness.You know that I am a girl who has not been warmed by the world. I am really grateful to those angels in white who comforted me when I was sick, so that I have obtained the true love of human beings.Therefore, I should also return the same love to human beings.

When I mentioned love, my pen tip trembled again.In the blink of an eye, half a year has passed, and those fresh deeds are still vividly before my eyes.A promising young man, now there is no news.Another simple and innocent farmer also left his hometown.Qingye examines my heart, misleads others and myself, whether it is regret or hatred, gratitude or resentment, I can't tell the difference. Miss Yanan!I still remember what you said in your last letter: If you love someone, hold on to him firmly.If you hate a person, leave him far away.Don't think that we women are weak, and say that because of this, we women will always be victims of tragedy for thousands of years!

What you said is quite right, but if you want to be in my environment, you will not be able to decide on your own. Now I am just the opposite. The one who is far away from me is the person I love.It's not that I didn't hold him tightly, but that I relaxed my hand willingly. Others will not understand my difficulties, and I don't want to tell you in detail.As you said, it is better to look forward to the future with excitement than to miss the past with sorrow.But those who have stumbled by the river will be shocked when they see a drop of water!Let me tell you, even if I learn to heal patients all over the world, I still cannot heal the wounds in my own heart. Please don't worry about me. Sadness has become a habit for me.Now, I will take your words to heart; love is multifaceted.I intend to love my job with all my heart.Maybe one day, in the war of national survival, I can be as brave as you and contribute this undead life to the country. The weather in the north is very cold!Hope you take care of yourself!The new year is approaching, on the night of New Year's Eve, I bless you, and also bless a person who is far away from me! Sister Julan.Laba Festival After reading the letter in a hurry, I carefully put it in the diary again and put it away in the drawer.Just as I was about to go out, I remembered the address on the back of the letter, hurriedly found a pen, and wanted to copy it in a notepad.He lowered his head and opened the diary again, suddenly there was a sound of hurried footsteps, he turned around, and saw Yanan standing behind him smiling. sorry!Anam!I took a few steps back, blushing in embarrassment. What are you doing in your room alone?Yanan approached me and saw that I was still holding her diary in my hand.In the panic, she also blushed and said: You are here to read my diary! No!Anam Didn't they see Xiaoyudian?She seemed a little anxious. No, they're playing cards and I'm alone Don't let them hear!Yanan turned sideways, looked out of the window, lowered the curtain, and pulled me to sit beside her bed.He took my hand and bowed his head without saying a word. Yanan, I just felt my face was hot and my heart was beating violently. No!Yanan let go, and hurriedly said softly: Please don't go on, we can't talk about this issue yet. Anam!You and I looked at her inexplicably. Firm white!It was the first time she called my name so kindly: We are still young, I hope you still maintain the usual relationship with me, true love is not expressed in words or actions. I have never seen such a strange expression on Yanan's face, and I am too embarrassed to ask her.After calming down for a while, it occurred to me that she must have written these words in the diary.Of course, I can no longer declare the secret that I did not peek at her diary, lest she regret her slip of the tongue.I had no choice but to say: Yanan!You are so kind to me!I'm ashamed and I appreciate you even more! Do not say it that way!Yanan stood up suddenly and watched the expression on my face.I felt that Yanan's enthusiastic eyes were burning like a fire. Taking the opportunity of putting the diary on the desk, I turned around and opened a window to let the cold wind wake up my dizzy mind. forgive me!Xu!Amidst my conflicting emotions, I suddenly heard Yanan's trembling voice from behind me: Forgive me!Firm white!I shouldn't be fooling you like this.Of course, because of my understanding of your personality, I am willing to make such a bad move I became more and more confused. I didn't know what Yanan was saying to me. I just felt a cold hand caressing my shoulder. Unexpectedly, you will walk on the road I have walked, bravely leave your family, and strive for your studies. This spirit is worthy of admiration.But only I know this pain What does he know?I was thinking.Did someone tell her about my dispute with Alan and Qiumen?If this is the case, she should not and is unwilling to show love to me, or she has other guesses.I wished she would go on quickly; but there was a silence, only a few slight sighs. Yes!Only I know this pain, so I can come up with this way!After a pause, she continued: a young man who has left his family faces the greatest pain, which is money.money!This vulgar thing has buried many promising young people in the abyss of pain.Of course, with your academic ability, it is not a problem to solve your life in today's society; but, you are not a homeless man begging for food and money, and the high walls of the university will lock you in.You are suffering from the problem of money, and you are unwilling to rely on your classmates to help you, even me.Firm white!Do you know; she suddenly looked at me sadly: every time you throw back the money I gave you, my heart is also shattered by you. Anam!Thinking of the usual scene, you and I couldn't help turning around and explaining to her, but she hugged my shoulder tightly and continued speaking out of breath. listen to me!Firm white!Don't blame me, don't take the simple records in my diary seriously.Those are just records of my life, I didn't write my inner thoughts, and I never thought you would see it. It was my fault!Anam!I bowed my head and said. No!Don't doubt your most loyal friend!I must make this clear to you.She hesitated for a moment, and then said hesitantly: I really took great pains to solve your difficulties without hurting your self-esteem.Fortunately, during the student movement, I found an opportunity; in a newspaper, I edited a weekly magazine.At the same time, I also met many supplement editors in my work.So I encourage you to start writing, and use the money you earn with your hard work as your own living expenses. I know, Yanan!During this time, you have worked hard for me.I remembered that Yanan must go to the city once a week. It turned out that it was for the work of the newspaper and to find a way for my articles.But she never talked to me about it, is there any reason for that?So I followed her tone and said: I saw it all in your diary.But why are you hiding it from me? Well-intentioned deceit, I think, is better than foolish honesty!She sighed lightly: Yes!I shouldn't have written so hastily and straightforwardly in my diary. I know that this will only arouse your resentment.Of course, there are some human relations in your articles, but most of them are still your efforts I also know that immature stuff doesn't deserve such a high price.In my confusion, I finally understood some details.Thinking of the money I spent, it turned out that Yanan's begging smile was buried.In an instant, my inferiority complex made me ashamed and angry again. I raised my head and wanted to turn around, but suddenly Yanan leaned over and pressed my chest tightly.I struggled and said: Yanan!This is your help to me?An almost insulting help! Don't get me wrong like this!She stroked my hair gently, and said like comforting a child: If you see my feelings for you in the diary, then you should accept my sincerity.If you think about it, my scheming has been hollowed out. I have to make an agreement with the accountant in the newspaper before I can issue a manuscript fee bill that exceeds the standard; although, I paid him in advance for those excess figures. Clear, and then forward to you So more than half of the manuscript fee I got is your money?Hearing this, I turned around and looked at her in surprise. how!Didn't you see this paragraph in the diary?Yanan also looked at me in surprise. Yanan: I can swear to God, I never peeked at the secrets in your diary!I shook my head and said: But, I understand everything now! You really don't?She immediately blushed, showing a look of remorse, staring at her eyes and unable to speak. Anam!You and I ran over in a daze and grabbed her arm.I just feel sore in my heart, thousands of words, but I can't express my inner feelings. Under the light, Yanan's face was red, tears were shining, and he was still looking at me stupidly.Gradually, she closed her eyes, took advantage of the momentum and fell into my arms, and I also took advantage of the momentum to hug her; suddenly, she jumped over, brushed her hair and said: Xu!Let's not do this, as long as you can understand my mind, forever, one day Someday!I thought for a while and said: I can repay your love! good!That's it, remember this New Year's Eve night!She blushed, smiled, and said calmly: It's getting late, go to the upper room and join them in the fun! Walking into the living room, she picked up a big paper bag on the sofa. I wanted to ask her what was in the paper bag. She smiled mysteriously, shook her head and said, "Don't ask, you'll understand after a while." of.