Chapter 17 sixteen

Hope is a soap bubble, dancing for a moment, shaking and swaying, and suddenly shattered at a point of the finger.I finally realized my ignorance, and I no longer want to catch the illusion of color.When I am bored, wine will make me laugh; and the charter woman keeps the wine cabinet full, trying to plant a seed in my heart.I couldn't survive on alcohol alone, and the charter woman invited me to eat at the same table.At first, she refused to take money for meals; later, when she found out that I was unemployed, she didn't even ask for rent.I was very sick; therefore I drank more wine.One day, after receiving the last payment for the manuscript from the newspaper office, he went to the racecourse deliberately to be teased by fate.When I left the racecourse, I had only a few dollars in change in my pocket.Back home, the charter woman asked:

Where did you go? Bet on horses. How's your luck? not good. How much did you lose? Not much, only half a month's manuscript fee; however, that is all my property. Losing more than one hundred yuan is not considered a lot; but losing self-esteem, you have to feel sorry for yourself. The next morning, I decided to find a solution to Mai Homemen. When I walked to the door, the charter lady stuffed me with a hundred dollars. I refuse. Walking downstairs, I realized for the first time how terrible things were. (I should move somewhere else, I think.) Half an hour later, Mehman and I were drinking tea in Gloucester.

There are two problems that must be addressed, I say. Which two questions? First, career issues; second, moving. Moving again?Why? Although I am poor, I still have self-respect. Do not understand what you mean? If there is no more income, I will become a man who eats slippers! The two eyes of Mehman are equal to two? . Further explanation was necessary; but before she could speak, her vision was blurred by tears.Mehman couldn't understand my sorrow, and was in a daze for a long time; then he said this: A recluse suddenly becomes a misanthrope! Yes, Homen, I can't think of anything else in this world that is worthy of nostalgia.

What about wine? It is a tool for escape. Hope? I have lost all hope. Mai Hemen lowered his head and subconsciously stirred the coffee in his cup with a silver spoon. You say you are not a brave man?he asks. Yes. Because you don't have the guts to commit suicide? A person who has lost any support has no reason to continue to live in stealth. My opinion is just the opposite of yours. What do you think? I think a brave man must have the courage to go on living. Then Mehman proposed a plan: run a literary magazine, and hoped that I could be the editor.Regarding funds, his mother has promised to take out part of her private savings.

Where is your father? He would not approve of a literary magazine.In the past, I had revealed this idea to him, and he strongly opposed it, saying that running a literary magazine in Hong Kong must not exceed the level of "Youth Garden", otherwise, it will lose a lot of money. He has a good point. However, I think differently.I think that as long as the magazine itself can have some positive effects in this smoky society, it is also meaningful to lose thousands of dollars. This is a fool's idea. In our society, there are too many smart people; and too few fools. A 10,000 yuan deposit is required when registering a magazine. Where do you go to raise this money?

The margin issue is not difficult to resolve, Mehman said.A colleague in the newspaper office once started a magazine this spring, but it ended due to low sales.If we decide to do it, we can borrow his registration certificate and pay him 200 yuan in interest every installment. Do you have a proper name? Dafangfang is the word "Literature", what do you think? In the past, Fu Donghua edited a magazine called "Literature". In the past few years, there was also a "Literary Magazine" in Taiwan. what do you mean? How about calling it "Avant-Garde Literature", which teaches people at a glance that it is a publication that stands at the forefront of the times.

great!great!It was decided to call it "Avant-Garde Literature". Mehman was very excited to study the content of the magazine with me.What I mean is that the translation and the creation each take up half the space.The translation is mainly to introduce original and influential modern works; the creative part must adopt the attitude of preferring the lack to the excess, and try to improve the standard. At present, the output of Sihao's novels has reached one volume per day. Except for those who pirate other people's works, most of them don't even understand the text, let alone the techniques and methods.This kind of four hairs, like pests in rice fields, will make normal seedlings unable to grow.If we can publish a healthy, cutting-edge, and vigorous literary magazine at this time, although we can't kill all the pests like DDT; at the very least, we can protect the seedlings from growing stronger.

Immediately, Mai Hemen's face turned rosy, and there was a confident light in his eyes.I was excited too; but not as optimistic as he was.In our environment, magazines with higher quality will have fewer sales; magazines with more sales will have lower quality.The better our ideal magazine is edited, the more likely it will die. After some calm consideration, I said: That's a noble ideal; but it's not smart to throw away your mother's hard-earned money. I don't want to accept any subsidy; I don't want to run a harmful pornographic magazine. Mehman's attitude can be so firm.

Mehman is willing to pay me three hundred yuan a month as a salary, which is not too much, but it can barely meet the needs of life. As long as you don't drink, it won't be enough, he said.This is the work of practicing our common ideals, and I hope you can always stay awake.Wine is not a bridge; it's just a narcotic.You want to be a recluse, and wine cannot take you to another world.In the past, you were dissatisfied with reality; now you must have the courage to face reality. The sales of "Avantgarde Literature" will definitely not be good, but I am not worried about it.For such a serious and important magazine, even if there is only one reader, our energy is not wasted!

These words have a special power, which makes my blood start a 100-meter race in my blood vessels.Ideal is injected with multivitamins; Hope has a rosy color.An explorer of inner truth cannot untie his wine in the valley of abstraction. I have a dream job. I asked Myhome to lend me three hundred dollars for moving.