Chapter 42 forty one

It was a strange feeling, not drunk, but not quite clear. I couldn't stand the pain. Apart from the pain, there seems to be no other feeling.I seem to hear a sharp call, but I can't use my eyes to find the answer.I walked into another realm, there is no past, no future, no sky, no earth, chaos, smog everywhere.I don't need to move my legs, my body is like a balloon, swinging around in space. I longed to hear a little sound, but it was eerily quiet.That tranquility is as solid as it is, and it cannot be cut with a knife. Silence surrounds me.Silence becomes the scariest thing in the world.I wanted to escape, but there was nothing but smoke around me.

Nasty smoke, tangled like silk.I can't live in this environment forever. (Is this what exists after death? Is this what happens after death? No, no, I'm not dead yet. I don't believe there's any difference between a person's death and his birth.) Then I saw a blurred halo , not very clearly, but I know it is light. When the brilliance disappears, so does the smoke.peaceful.peaceful.Endless tranquility.Terrible tranquility.The tranquility of ice cubes. () A vacuum of thought.Feeling suddenly numb.I don't know if I still exist, and in fact have completely lost the ability to think.

black.black.black.Endless blackness. Suddenly I heard a very thin voice, I couldn't tell what it was, but it was a voice. My thought apparatus is finally functioning again, and I know I still exist.When I opened my eyes, it was still a blur. he woke up!he woke up!He is not dead! Very thin, very thin voice, from a distant place, but very close.I blinked and the smoke cleared. I saw a kind and wrinkled face, which turned out to be Mrs. Lei. After going around in a strange realm, I returned to reality. Reality is ugly; it's funnier than eternal peace.I'm afraid of tranquility, and I can't help but regret my stupidity.

Don't be sad, Mrs. Ray said.There is no problem in the world that cannot be solved. Yes, yes, the world is a good place. Xinmin: You are a smart person, why would you do such a stupid thing? (Poor old lady Lei, she still regards me as a new citizen, but can I tell her: am I not her son?) I know what's on your mind, she said.This is a little money I have accumulated over the years, you can take it. (Can I accept her handouts? I cannot accept her handouts without the courage to see her as my own mother.) I can't drink so much alcohol in the future! (What can I say? What can I say to such a kind old lady? She is a battered and unbalanced person, but she seems to me more normal than anyone else. Except She, no one else cares about me. I can't lie to her anymore. If I promise to quit drinking, I must keep my promise.)

I must never drink again!I said. After hearing this, she raised her head.Smile with tears in your eyes. She was so nice to me.The whole day, she sat by the hospital bed with me.Seeing that she was getting old, I advised her to go home and rest, but she refused. Before I drank Dettol, I thought I had lost everything; after drinking Dettol, I seemed to regain everything I lost. I'm a drinker; Mrs. Ray sees me as a rare treasure.Old Mrs. Ray is an old lady who is mentally unbalanced; but I get the greatest warmth from her.After three days in the hospital, I went home.Mrs. Lei repeatedly prevented me from drinking, saying that alcohol can mess with sex, and if I drink too much, it will definitely cause trouble.She gave me 3,000 yuan and asked me to maintain it temporarily.I couldn't express how sad I was; in the end I had to accept it according to her wishes.That night, I took Mr. Lei to the tea restaurant downstairs to sit for a while.I will return the three thousand yuan to him.He shook his head.

Your environment is not good, so let’s accept it, he said.