Chapter 2 Du Lily

Sunday is the day to sleep in, especially in Beijing in March, the warm and cold weather makes people miss the bed most.Du Baihe was awakened by the sound of neighbors coming and going, but her daughter who was leaning beside her was still sleeping soundly, so she didn't bother to move or play.My daughter only comes home one day a week, so I have to tell her to get enough sleep.What's more, with her lying beside her, the quilt was very warm, and Lily was so happy to rest with her eyes closed. Are you back from grocery shopping?Wow, look how good you got such a big piece of fat! The sound of neighbor Diao's mother talking to someone can be heard outside the window.

Lily got up when she heard people talking about meat.Glancing at his watch, it was already early nine o'clock.She grabbed the padded jacket hanging by the bed rail and put it on, then pushed her daughter awake. Get up, Xiaotong.Uncle Bai is coming to eat at noon, and you will quickly buy back all the meat I have left this month. It's rare for someone to come to eat at home, and Uncle Bai's coming is even more important.Although Xiaotong was sleepy, when Uncle Bai was coming, she just got up. Bai Zhentai is a student studying in the United States who returned in 1974, assigned to the Institute of Geological Sciences.He and Baihe are both from Taipei County, and they quickly became close friends because of their colleagues and fellowship.He is straightforward and enthusiastic, and he is very adaptable to the environment and makes good use of it.Xiaotong was transferred from northern Shaanxi to a commune in the suburbs of Beijing two years ago as an accountant, and he helped.

Xiaotong has twice reported to the leaders of northern Shaanxi, requesting to be transferred back to Beijing to take care of her mother, but there has been no follow-up for several years.In the year when Bai Zhentai came back, she happened to be suffering from hepatitis and went home to recuperate.When he returned home to play, he heard Xiaotong talk about the hardships of life in the cave, so he volunteered to find a way for her.She didn't take it seriously at the time, but half a year later she received a transfer order, making her cry and laugh with joy.Mom didn't say anything about this matter from the beginning to the end, but she was grateful and adored Uncle Bai from the bottom of her heart.

Lily cooked a pot of rice, and then she and her daughter had breakfast.She took out the shopping card, the butcher's book and some other tickets, and handed them to her daughter along with the wallet. How much meat is left to buy?Xiaotong asked her. Seven taels. Lily wanted to urge her daughter to go to the street quickly, but saw her looking in the mirror first. A mirror hangs on the wall next to the bed, and there are combs and face creams on the bedside table.Xiaotong glanced at the mirror, then picked up a comb to shake out the two braids that hadn't been messed up by sleep, and combed them again, so that the black and thick hair fell on her shoulders.

Which unmarried girl does not love beauty?Lily just wondered that she combed her hair too diligently recently.Suffering from hepatitis two years ago, my daughter was skinny and skinny, and her waist was as thin as a matchstick, which seemed to break when folded.After recuperating for a long time, it finally improved slightly.But the fastest recovery will be in the last six months.Instead of being thin and yellow, her face became plump and rosy.The chest seemed to wake up from hibernation, with small peaks bulging.The mother had been worried that the child would be stunted, and now she was relieved of her worries.

It's late today, and there must be no fat meat in the market.Fortunately, there are still a few taels of oil left during the Spring Festival. I have been reluctant to use it, and now it will come in handy. While expressing regret, Lily grabbed a comb and stroked her head a few times while her daughter was parting her hair.Qier's short hair is convenient. You don't have to look in the mirror to comb your hair, and you will find a few more gray hairs. After a long time, you will lose the interest in looking at yourself in the mirror. Mom, are you still making dumplings today? How can this little meat be enough?Let's invite Uncle Bai for fried rice noodles.

It turns out that Lily has a well-thought-out plan for lunch and breakfast. Uncle Bai now often goes to the Great Hall of the People and the Beijing Hotel and other big occasions, and he is tired of eating delicacies from mountains and seas.Fry a rice noodle to change his appetite. In Taiwanese, it is called changing belly.The handful of scallions you brought home yesterday are the best. For fried rice noodles, the more scallions the better. Mom, you want green onions and there will be more in the future.Now members of the commune plant their private plots, they can work as hard as they want!As soon as the ground is thawed, every household will get up early and work in the dark!The front and back of the house are densely planted.well!If I had known that Uncle Bai was coming for dinner, I could have given you a chicken.

Yeah?Lily only smiled lightly.In the future, Beijing may have to rely on private plots for the supply of non-staple food. According to reference information ten years ago, Moscow is like this. That's not bad either.According to this, our economic construction is only ten years behind the Soviet Union?I said, we should compare with the United States in the future! When Xiaotong mentioned the United States, there was an indescribable envy on the tip of her tongue. Lily didn't answer, so she went to clean up the dishes.Having been indoctrinated with hatred of the United States for more than 20 years, she always felt that the United States was not so ugly in her heart.Now that the idea of ​​beauty is beginning to overflow, she doesn't think there is anything particularly cute about the United States.

Alas, I really can't keep up with the trend!She shook her head secretly and sighed. Mom, people say we'll be selling Coca-Cola soon! Xiaotong's tone was impatient. Coca Cola?Lily pointed to her daughter's watch and said: Coke can wait a while, let's buy the seven taels of meat first. Lily felt a little ironic.It has been a year and a half since the Gang of Four fell from power. In the majestic capital, each person is rationed two catties of meat a month, and they can't choose between fat and thin, yet they still dream of Coca-Cola.She thought, if this is not whimsical, it is deceitful words to confuse the public.Since Mao Zedong's death, gossip has been flying all over the sky, and the strange thing is that most of them have been confirmed.She wondered if the central government had set up a separate gossip news department to release news that could not be reported.

Who knows, maybe Coca-Cola will really enter the Chinese market.Who can drink it?Lily shook her head secretly. Xiaotong knew that her mother was worried about those meats, so she hurriedly dressed.She tied up her braids with a red ribbon, applied cold cream on her face, straightened her calico padded jacket, and glanced at the leather shoes on her feet. Lily handed her the basket. In the afternoon Zhu Yan came to take me back to the commune. Xiaotong told her mother. Well.He hasn't returned to northern Shaanxi yet?Spring plowing will begin soon. He wanted to stay and study, and decided to take another college entrance examination.

Lily was startled, but only said: Zhu Yan is really ambitious! Zhu Yan went to the countryside and settled in northern Shaanxi. He applied for two universities before but was rejected due to poor grades.Lily thought that he had given up long ago and wanted to take root on the Loess Plateau.Now I heard that he was going to take the exam again, I couldn't help but be surprised. Oh, she understood that this must be influenced by her daughter. With the encouragement of her mother, Xiaotong never gave up her plan to go to university.A few years ago, affected by her family background, she was not recommended by the brigade; then she developed hepatitis, and unfortunately her studies were wasted.Recently the policy was changed to allow fair competition.She worked very hard and determined to study in a college in Beijing. The daughter has never revealed anything, but the mother has already seen that Zhu Yan has a good impression of her.Lily was afraid that Xiaotong would be distracted, so she never encouraged her to have a boyfriend.No one expected that Zhu Yan would go home to visit relatives in winter, but he would not leave, and now he decided to stay and study.Qu Zhi counted, he was two and a half years older than Xiaotong, almost twenty-seven years old, already beyond the age limit, it was not easy to apply for the exam based on academic ability.This is an obvious fact, but Lily is unwilling to pour cold water on it, and can only express her admiration. The small chest of drawers is full of things: thermoses, toilet water bottles, notebooks, teacups and tea trays.Lily tidied up and moved the picture frame standing against the wall to the front.It has photos of the husband and daughter-in-law.The husband has gloomy eyes and a cautious smile on the corner of his mouth; the daughter-in-law smiles sweetly, revealing the happiness and fulfillment of the newlyweds.The glass was not dirty, but she was used to wiping it caressingly for a while to make it look brighter. She took out a pack of Xiamen rice noodles from under the bed, put them in a clay bowl, poured boiling water, and let the rice noodles soak.Turning around, he picked up the piled up bowls and chopsticks, took the empty hot water bottle with his other hand, and went out to the kitchen. Diao's mother was sitting on the bench ironing and washing the sheets, and the big bathtub was placed in the middle of the kitchen, completely blocking the passage. Seeing Lily coming in, Diao's mother rushed to move the stool and basin, very politely. Don't get in the way, don't get in the way! Lily humbly humbly. Since the Gang of Four was brought down, the face of the neighbors has become more and more kind.Last summer, Diao Ma's son-in-law was named and criticized for allegedly ganging up with the remaining party of four.After that, the family still had obvious inferiority complex and shrinking in their harmony.On the contrary, Lily felt sorry, even a little embarrassed. The two-room unit was originally lived by Lily's family. At the beginning of the Cultural Revolution, Lily was accused of being a Japanese spy and subjected to a year of quarantine inspection.After he was released, he felt that no one mentioned him, but his political status plummeted.Soon the sons and daughters graduated from middle school and were sent to Yunnan and northern Shaanxi respectively to join the team and settle down.Her husband, Lao Kong, went to the Northeast branch during the Great Leap Forward, but there has been no news of his transfer back to Beijing.The Confucian family was sparsely populated, and this unit with complete kitchens and toilets became the object of coveted and contested by some rebels at that time. For a while, Lily was in dire straits and was almost driven to the single dormitory.Fortunately, a few cadres in the Workers Propaganda Team talked about policies, seeing that Taiwan had not yet been recovered, and a united front was still needed for the Taiwanese, which finally allowed her to keep a room. Diao's mother's family of three generations and four members finally moved in as a winner.Compared with Lily, they are really crowded, so their words and expressions always show aggrieved. In the first two years, they took up most of the kitchen, the pots and pans were clanging, and their speech was often barbed.Diao's mother is said to have worked as a servant for the Japanese occupation army for several years, so the Diao family rose up during the Cultural Revolution with the family background of bitterness and hatred.They are very contemptuous of Du Baihe, who has studied in Japan for a year, not only showing it in color, but also sarcastically mocking her from time to time. Once, Diao Ma's grandson stole Lily's steamed cake, and she got it all.The child went wild, shouting: Japanese spies are still bullying people! Did you see me as a spy? Lily pointed to his nose and asked. When I was studying in Japan, you were not born yet! Lily, who is usually taciturn, has a temper that takes the soft and not the hard, and will never give in when the reason is right.As a result, each other in a door either ignored each other or fought with each other, and the atmosphere was very tense. The situation only improved after the ping-pong diplomacy.When the Gang of Four collapsed, it was a 180-degree change. Returning overseas students are popular again, and they are praised as patriotic everywhere.The government has a decree that all the houses of returned overseas Chinese and scholars occupied during the Cultural Revolution must be returned.Since the housing shortage is a common problem across the country, most units cannot implement it.Lily never mentioned going back to the other room, but the Diao family members seemed to feel guilty, and their expressions were always a little uneasy.They didn't dare to offend Lily's mother and daughter, but respected them. thank chairman mao Thinking of this, Lily realized that she had made a mistake, and quickly corrected herself: Thank you Chairman Hua! Lily laughed to herself while pouring boiling water.After shouting "Long Live Chairman Mao" for more than 20 years, the word "Mao" has taken root in the subconscious, and I can't get rid of it for a year or so. Xiaotong returned to the club early? Diao's mother scrubbed and washed the sheets, and at the same time raised her head to strike up a conversation with Lily, with a big smile on her mouth. No, I went grocery shopping.At noon, a colleague from my hometown came to have a light meal. That's the one whose name has appeared in the newspapers several times, isn't the one named Bai? it's him. Seeing the envious look on Diao Mama's face, Lily felt a little smug, as if she was honored.But soon he blamed himself again: Lily, when did you become a snobbish person who takes your friends for self-respect? Is he still married?Diao's mother's curiosity reveals a kind of enthusiasm. Hurry up. Lily didn't want to talk too much about her fellow countrymen. When washing dishes, she deliberately turned on the tap to make the water splash. Diao Ma really shut up. After finishing her work in the kitchen, Lily took the water bottle back and made a pot of thick jasmine tea while it was hot.She poured herself a glass, pulled a chair to the window, sat down and sipped slowly, looking out at the courtyard outside the window. The sun was coming, warming her cheeks.The world outside the window was so bright that she had to squint her eyes to take a closer look.Many households have aired out washable quilts and bed sheets, and the south side of their homes has become the Great Wall of Floral Cloth.Under the bare poplar trees, some old men and women tucked their hands into the sleeves of their cotton jackets, or hugged their dolls, basking in the sun while gossiping about family affairs. Several elementary and middle school students held their books and read English aloud against the wall or tree pole.All of them kept their eyes on each other, and their voices were loud and loud, as if they were serious about studying, and seemed eager to swallow the foreign language in one gulp.This kind of selfless recitation seems to have touched the chickens, and they stood far away, tilting their heads or pricking up their ears to listen. Lily found that a willow tree in front of the window had sprouted.It was replanted on the ground of the dead Albizia julibrissin before the earthquake the year before last, and the branches are still sparse today.I have been used to seeing it bare and thin all winter, but at this moment I saw it standing upright on the thawed yellow land, covered with young shoots shaking in the breeze, and I felt a kind of joy of recovery. Spring is here again, Lily told herself. Spring comes and goes every year, and the appearance of the courtyard is much the same, but this year is a little different, there is such an atmosphere that is just around the corner. Maybe it's because she is very quiet and wants to change, and Lily is also looking forward to a change in her life, a sudden change like the Tangshan earthquake.As for what to expect, I can't say.She only felt that the sun was so bright, life should have a turning point to live up to its beauty.This kind of unknown expectation makes people anxious and lingering, and Ruo Na's voice of reading can be heard endlessly. Xiaotong bought some vegetables and went home, and Bai Zhentai arrived immediately. Sister Du, what kind of delicious dish will you invite me to today? He smiled and asked as soon as he entered the door, as if he brought the spring breeze with him, and the room became lively and lively in an instant. Where can I buy good things?Ah Xiong, fried bowl of rice noodles is just for you to change your belly. Lily replied in Taiwanese. In her own home, she likes to call him by his nickname, Axiong.Zhentai, the new name after the reunification, gave her a kind of pressure to speak boldly. Occasionally, she also likes to say a few words of Taiwanese to relieve her homesickness.Her husband is from the Northeast, and her children grew up in Beijing. The family has always spoken Mandarin.She hasn't spoken Taiwanese for a long time, and her tongue is getting rusty.It was rare that Ah Xiong was assigned to her own unit and kept in touch frequently, so she picked up her native dialect. The supplies in Beijing, when I first came back in 1974, couldn’t be compared to the real ones. When it comes to eating, Ah Xiong complains loudly. A few days ago, I took a guest from the United States to the Friendship Store.There are many empty shelves on the shelves, which are not much better than the outside market.It's been almost two years since the Tangshan earthquake, and Tianjin was rocked by the earthquake. Lin Hujia went to be a municipal party committee member, and now he has something to eat.The supply in the dignified capital just can't go up, no wonder everyone has opinions on the municipal party committee! Wu De is an out-and-out patriarch, he should be pulled down! Xiaotong quickly agreed. Lily nodded, but said nothing.She is used to being careful, and does not easily criticize high-ranking cadres.Of course there are opinions, but the way of expressing them must be considered.Recently, people's tongues have loosened up a lot, and some young people even speak freely, with the kind of joy and excitement of the fifties.But after Mingfang's big counterattack, Lily can't forget that she almost put on the rightist hat.Now that Deng Xiaoping has officially sent the title of rightist to the history museum, people are very happy, but Lily does not want to heal the scar and forget the pain. Miss Du, do you want me to help you? With that said, Zhentai rolled up his sleeves. Hey, fry rice noodles and make seaweed and egg drop soup, it couldn't be easier, why should I bother you?Give Xiaotong some math. Zhentai clapped his hands and agreed: Come on, Xiaotong, let's make one plus one equals two! Although Lily's lunch is simple, it is very delicious.The rice noodles were especially fried properly, and Zhentai was full of praise when he ate it, even the bottom of the plate was scraped clean.Since the son was sent to the lower levels, there has been no such wolf-eating phenomenon in the family. Lily was really happy to see it. Xiaotong made hot tea for her mother and uncle, and cleaned up the dishes by herself. Uncle Bai, have you fixed your wedding date yet? May Day. Zhentai's tone was not very sure. The courtyard said that the dormitory could be allocated to me in mid-April.With a house, Ge Ying came up to buy the buyer's furniture and other things, and one week was enough.There are two days off on May Day this year, which is more convenient. There must be a house.Lily told him: I have heard that the leader is looking for someone to change the house. Yeah? Zhentai only responded in vain, and didn't intend to inquire about the following.He moved his chair to the window and sipped jasmine tea leisurely. Lily understood his embarrassing situation and stopped talking.In Beijing, where the housing shortage is severe, where can I find a dormitory with one bedroom, one living room and a kitchen and toilet for him?A decent new house was freed only after the unlucky gang of four suspects were kicked out. Zhentai has a round neck and round face. He is not tall, but he is as strong as a tower.When Lily first met, she felt that he was blessed, and in fact it was true. Returning overseas students were devastated during the Cultural Revolution, and gradually improved after Nixon's visit to China.Coming back from Zhentai, those who have studied in the United States are enjoying the popularity; plus they are Taiwanese, they are even more blue-eyed.In addition to a high salary, he also received preferential treatment and took care of him in every possible way.Even in the current gang-of-four era, which has been attacked so badly, whenever there is an international ball game or a performance in Beijing, when the entire Institute of Geology only has one ticket, the party secretary will give it up to him.Afterwards, he participated in the state banquet as a model of returning overseas students from Taiwan, and his name was published in the newspaper, which made everyone envious. Ge Ying is so beautiful! While clearing the table, Xiaotong praised enthusiastically.She was the same age as Ge Ying, and she always called Ge Ying by his first name behind his back. Not only beautiful, but also capable.The lion's head burned at our house last time is so good! Although Zhentai was thirty-five years old, it was the first time for a big girl to praise his lover face to face.Feeling overwhelmed with pride, he giggled for a moment. He is capable, more capable than me! Speaking of this, he generously added: girls in China are very capable. Xiaotong was flattered indirectly, and felt flattered.She picked up the bowls and chopsticks and walked briskly out the door. Marry the most beautiful Ge Mou in Shanghai, Ah Xiong, you are really lucky! Lily took a sip of tea and praised him in Taiwanese. Zhentai smirked again. Ge Ying is an actor of the Shanghai Opera House, and performed in Beijing with the troupe in 1975.Zhentai accompanies the foreign guests to the theater, shakes hands with the actors, and goes backstage to chat with them. That's how she got to know her.We corresponded for more than a year. Last fall, Ge Ying came to Beijing to get engaged in person and stayed at Baihe's house.Not to mention a beautiful figure, a melon-seeded face, even thin skin and white flesh, as delicate as those described in old novels that can be blown to pieces.The mandarin is mellow and smooth, and there is a hint of Shanghainese coquettishness, which sounds very pleasant.According to her tone, there are many people pursuing her, including party members and cadres and beautiful young men.Now that he is singled out to win Bai Zhentai, it can be seen how lucky he is. Lily thought that during the Cultural Revolution, many love affairs in the United States suffered several setbacks, and compared with the present, they are no different.The time for Zhentai's return was really well chosen. Now, instead of scoffing at it, the girls flock to it. At first, Lily was afraid of long nights and dreams, so she once advised him to seize the opportunity and find someone to marry.She cared for him like a younger brother, for fear that he would pick things up and end up a bachelor. Don't be afraid, big sister, Zhentai comforted her quite confidently: There are so many girls, there are plenty of opportunities! He's not bragging at all, that's how things turned out. There are more and more girls who want to marry foreign students. At first, they asked someone to introduce them, and later they recommended themselves, or even competed in groups.Not only international students are popular, local intellectuals are also bullish.As long as there is a bit of fame, girls will be happy to favor them.Chen Jingrun, a white mathematician who was regarded as hopeless in the past, once praised, the letter of marriage proposal from the woman would come flooding in.This is a typical example. After Zhentai's name was reported, his net worth was extraordinary.As soon as the news of wanting to get married leaked out, many people rushed to introduce her.He was overwhelmed and picked and picked, but it was delayed for several years.It's not right to delay, he himself is glad that he didn't get married hastily, otherwise he wouldn't be able to marry a beautiful wife like Ge Ying. Zhentai claims to not be able to write love letters, and he has sex with several girls at the same time, and Ge Ying only maintains the relationship he pursues by making long-distance calls.According to what he revealed to Baihe, Ge Ying also wrote a good love letter, but unfortunately it cannot be published, otherwise it can become a model love letter and guarantee best-selling. Ge Ying's father also studied in the United States. He was once a reactionary academic authority and was beaten by fights.Nowadays, scholars and celebrities are all rehabilitated, and their daughters marry foreign students, which can be called a right family. It is said that the whole family is happy. Miss Du, do you know?Zhentai suddenly changed the topic: Xiaolin from our research office proposed to divorce her lover, saying that he wanted to draw a line between them! Lily smiled and said: This is a political divorce, nothing unusual. She has seen this kind of thing too much, and she is indifferent.Whenever the political movement climaxes, in order to fear that their spouses will be implicated and also to express their firm stance, many people submit divorce petitions to the leaders or the court.When the climax of the exercise is over, it will be quietly withdrawn or let it go. If Lao Kong and I used this to express our views, we would have separated at least twice! As Lily said, a disdainful smile appeared on her thin lips. In 1957, we were married less than two years ago, and Lao Kong was labeled as a rightist.As a family member of a rightist, my embarrassment was no less than his.Fortunately, he worked hard and was the first to take off his hat.During the Cultural Revolution, I was censored as a rightist who slipped through the net and a Japanese spy. I had no communication with each other for more than a year, and Lao Kong did not ask for a divorce.I exercise so frequently and come and go. Is it over? Zhentai listened, shaking his watermelon-like head in sympathy, and said: Our policy is that men and women are independent and responsible for their own affairs, and the basic civil rights clearly stipulated in the Constitution cannot be called to family members. Constitution, that's theory. Lily's tone was dry. Zhentai didn't hear the sarcasm, and was busy asking Lily's husband: How is Lao Kong? Well it's okay. Lily agreed vaguely. The last letter from my husband was written years ago. He only said that he was busy exposing and criticizing the Gang of Four, and there has been no news since then.I am worried about it, but I don't want to talk about it in front of my colleagues. Zhentai continued to ask with concern: how is the movement going there? It's hot.Their chemical plant was one of the pacesetters on the industrial front in Heilongjiang a few years ago, and Mao Yuanxin once inspected it.It must be a key unit to eliminate the remnants of the Gang of Four now. Zhentai heard that Mao Yuanxin had inspected, and his chubby face almost stretched into a rectangle.It is said that Mao Yuanxin was murdered and killed long ago. There is no proof of his death. All the personnel units implicated in him have been purged.He couldn't help sweating secretly for Lao Kong. Hey, big sister, don't worry, Lao Kong is a technical cadre, so he can be a free and easy person in the movement. He tried to speak lightly and cheerfully. That's true. Lily also thinks about the better. During the Cultural Revolution, he also escaped any danger. Xiaotong returned to the room after cleaning up the kitchen.Lily took the opportunity to get rid of this unpleasant topic. Zhentai, has Xiaotong's English improved? Great, about the same as when I was in high school.Algebra is also done well.In the future, she will be admitted according to her academic ability, so she will definitely be admitted to university! The tutor not only spoke confidently, but also gave a thumbs up, obviously very satisfied with the student. It's hard to say, Uncle Bai. Xiaotong was not so sure, she thought more about it. There are regional quotas for admission, and there are so many applicants in Beijing! As long as there is hope for fair play, you do your best anyway. Lily hurriedly cheered her daughter up.Zhentai's praise made her very satisfied, a smile immediately spread on her thin face, and the wrinkles spread like water waves. Pay attention to your body too. She took care of her daughter and said: Don’t break down your body just to study Mom, Zhu Yan is here! Xiaotong, who was sitting on the edge of the bed, had been staring at the window, and jumped up at this moment, interrupting her mother's exhortation.Before running out to open the door, she still didn't forget to straighten the corners of her clothes and brush her braids. Zhu Yan came into the room carrying a big schoolbag.Xiaotong introduced him to Uncle Bai.He had heard of Bai Zhentai a long time ago, he grinned shyly, and said repeatedly: "Long-awaited!" Contrary to the chunky and sturdy Zhentai, Zhu Yan is as thin as a bamboo pole for fetching water, but he is as strong and upright as the poplar outside the window.The patched padded jacket seemed to have shrunk too much and was hanging on him a size too small.He was panting all the way, and his black face, which had been dried by the Loess Plateau, was swollen purple. After saying hello, Zhu Yan put his schoolbag on the wall next to the door, and first reached out to wipe the sweat from his forehead.The short hair that had never been straightened was immediately tossed and fluffed up like a hedgehog. Lily has been sitting at the dinner table.After nodding and smiling with Zhu Yan, they looked at him coldly. Zhu's family lived very close, in the same dormitory area, and she wondered why he was out of breath when he walked. I heard that the bookstore sells English-Chinese dictionaries, so I rushed to buy the last one for me! Zhu Yanxing hurriedly told Xiaotong that his expression was as satisfied as the harvest.He opened his schoolbag, which was stuffed tighter than a sausage, and took out his newly bought dictionary to show her. Great, Zhu Yan, you want to learn English, Uncle Bai is the best teacher, hurry up and learn from him! Xiaotong said, facing Zhentai, smiling mischievously. Zhu Yan really respected him, nodded and bowed to him. Zhentai humbly asked him: What department are you planning to take? The young man scratched his hair in embarrassment, and the big man suddenly became shy like a little girl.He looked at Xiaotong, wishing she could decide which one was better. In fact, alas, I am not sure about any subject. As he spoke, he spread his calloused palm, as if he didn't believe that this hand could still hold the pen holder. The county once said that if there is a chance, I will be transferred to the supply and marketing cooperative.If I could read farm machinery, it might work. Zhentai nodded in praise again and again: Yes, this is called applying what you have learned, and the real society comes and goes! However, Zhu Yan lowered his eyes and shook his head with a little inferiority.Like a prisoner confessing his crimes, he whispered that his background was too poor, and that the ten years of the Cultural Revolution were wasted time. I see, it's not good to go to college with a poor foundation.He looked up at Xiaotong and continued: Now, the teachers of Tsinghua University and Peking University’s workers, peasants and soldiers are not willing to teach them, saying that there is no medicine for them.Everyone rushed to teach the students who got in with high scores! Lily frowned upon hearing this.She didn't say anything, just shook her head regretfully. It doesn't matter!As long as you work hard, you can learn everything. Zhentai patted Zhu Yan on the shoulder, cheered him up loudly, and said generously: If you don't understand homework, just ask me! Zhu Yan couldn't ask for it, so he quickly opened the textbook and brought up all the difficult points. Zhentai used to be a tutor through college, and he knew how to tutor students with poor grades.While he was explaining, Lily found some wool to play, and Xiao Tong graciously brought tea for everyone. After asking about hours of homework, Zhu Yan packed up his books and prepared to send Xiaotong back to the commune. Lily got up and helped her daughter pack the books and clothes.Xiaotong took a moment to go to the cupboard and pour some toilet water on her ears and neck.Seeing this, Lily felt jealousy in her heart. Xiao Zhu, when are you going back to northern Shaanxi? Zhentai asked him. I won't go back for a while, and I won't be able to study at all when I go back. Xiaotong added for him: All the educated youths in their brigade have run away! Oh, your captain is so talkative! Zhentai was a little surprised. He's not good at talking, and we can't control it! Zhu Yan's tone had the air of being able to withstand the collapse of the sky. Lily, who hadn't spoken for a long time, suddenly smiled and explained to Zhentai: Zhu Yan has a rebellious spirit.Back then when he was a Red Guard, he ransacked his home and it was awe-inspiring! mom Xiaotong cried out pleadingly, glanced at her mother with watery eyes, and landed on Zhu Yan. Zhu Yan's face was red and purple, and he was so embarrassed that he didn't know where to put his eyes. Zhentai laughed loudly and helped him out: It doesn't matter, he will be a hero again in ten years! Sister Du was originally unforgiving, and Zhentai was amused in her heart.I remember hearing about Du Baihe expelling the Red Guards not long after I started work.It is said that in the summer of 1966, the Red Guards broke the old traditions and ransacked homes everywhere. When they came to Kong's house, Lily stood with her hands on her hips and blocked them from the door. Copy what?she asked loudly.All the things here were bought in Beijing after liberation.Only I am from Taiwan, if you want to copy it, copy me away! The person who took the lead in ransacking the house was said to be the son of a worker in the same dormitory. He was speechless after being questioned by her on the spot, and quickly led the Red Guards to move their positions. Zhentai looked back and forth between Zhu Yan and Baihe, suddenly realized what the enemy said, and suddenly burst out laughing. Lily smiled embarrassedly at him, and finally patted Zhu Yan's shoulder kindly, expressing that the past was not to blame. Please send Xiaotong back, come play again when you have time. She told her daughter to go home early next Saturday, and then reluctantly sent the two of them out. As soon as the door was closed, Zhentai expressed his opinion in the tone of an old blind date. Zhu Yan is a nice guy, he has a personality, and he has a deep affection for Xiaotong. After picking and picking, I still picked an educated youth! Lily said, smiling helplessly. In the past, she was afraid of staying in northern Shaanxi, and the educated youth would ignore her pursuit.Unexpectedly, after a few years of suffering, he still brought an educated youth to the house. After speaking, she glanced at the photo of her daughter-in-law on the chest of drawers and swallowed a sigh.These two fell in love and got married after going to the countryside, and now they have settled down in an authentic family, and there is no chance of raising their salary. Zhentai understood her thoughts and quickly comforted her: This year the policy has changed, the central government will gradually increase the number of educated youths, and there will be fair competition for college entrance examinations. There are plenty of opportunities. Lily only responded with a wry smile. That is to say, in fact it is not quite so.How easy is it to find employment for millions of people?Like Zhu Yan, who hasn't touched books for a few years, it's still unknown how useful it is to hold Buddha's feet temporarily. Having just made up homework for Zhu Yan, Zhentai also knows that his foundation is really poor.Now that the whole country is full of books, the competition must be fierce, and his hope of being admitted is probably slim.Judging from Bai He's tone, she is not keen on Zhu Yan and Xiao Tong's love affair, so it is difficult for Zhentai to talk to her. Lily was sitting by the window at this moment, enjoying the sunlight gradually moving westward.She glanced out of the window, and happened to meet the backs of Zhu Yan and his wife as they walked through the yard.He carried his schoolbag on his shoulder, and held his daughter's package in one hand, and put his other arm across his shoulders to her daughter's other arm. He tilted his head with one arm and listened to her.Under his slender arms, the daughter curled up softly like a bird under the wing. Lily hurriedly turned her gaze back, her heart was like the aftermath of an earthquake, permeated with a panic of being overwhelmed.She took a sip of the tea, but she couldn't taste it, only the sourness in her mouth. Zhentai took out a pack of 35 brand cigarettes and a lighter from his padded jacket, lit one and started smoking.Just now when Zhu Yan was here, he was ashamed to smoke foreign cigarettes, and now he couldn't wait to puff. Lily found a small cloisonné porcelain bowl and put it on the table to hold ashes for him. Recently, her memory has been very bad. She explained to the guests that she forgot to buy an ashtray several times. Don't buy it, use this antique as an ashtray, it's more advanced than anything else! After speaking, he moved his chair and turned to Lily for advice. Sister Du, let me ask you first: I ask for a month's leave for getting married, do you think it will be approved? Why, didn't Ge Ying ask for leave to get married? Lily couldn't figure it out for a while. Oh, you want to go to Shanghai to get married? neither. The door was closed tightly, and there was no one else in the room, but Zhentai lowered his voice automatically as if guilty. This is Ge Ying's idea.She grew up in Shanghai and has never traveled to other places except Beijing and Hangzhou.As for me, I have been in Beijing since I returned to China, and I have never gone out to play.We want to take the chance of getting married and go out for a run.Of course Shanghai and Hangzhou are going, and I especially want to visit Guilin and Kunming.You think one month is too long, so I'll change it to three weeks, how about that? Lily groaned for a while.Marriage, travel, these words were tossed back and forth in her mind twice before they combined into an alien and almost unfamiliar term: honeymoon travel. Do you want to go on honeymoon?There is no such rule in the country.But you are in a special position now, and the leave is likely to be approved. After hearing her finish, Zhentai puffed out a puff of smoke happily, as if he was relieved.He believed in Lily very much.She said it was possible, and that would be close. How did you and Lao Kong celebrate their marriage? When he was happy, he asked curiously. What a celebration! Lily smiled dryly back at him.When she closed her eyes a little, she could see the scene of her marriage back then.The simplicity of the ceremony and the extravagance of Zhentai today are simply incomparable. Lao Kong had just graduated at that time and was working as a trainee engineer in a factory, working overtime every day until midnight.On the day of the wedding, his colleagues couldn't see it and forbade him to work overtime.Several people came to our room for tea, and together they gave a set of washbasins and towels as gifts.The next day he worked overtime, held meetings, and studied as usual. Amazing, you were really hard and simple in the 1950s! Lily smiled without showing any modesty.The 1950s and 1970s were a little different.People in the 1950s, when she thinks about it now, don't seem to know that there is a person.Just like myself, I was determined to study medicine since I was a child to inherit my father's career, but the Communist Youth League branch shouted: The country needs geological surveyors most now!We're looking for oil!The members take the lead in applying for the Department of Geology! Without saying a word, she took the geology department. If she encounters a similar call today, will she respond in the same way?She's skeptical, and at least thinks twice about it. Before Zhentai left, he specifically asked Lily to keep it secret for him.He was afraid that after Zhang Yang went out, it would be embarrassing if he was not allowed to leave. Don't worry, Lily comforted him, you have already been set up as a model for returning overseas students, and taking a few days off for marriage is nothing. Lily kept her word, and didn't even say a word in front of her daughter.But after Bai Zhentai asked the leader for leave, the news leaked out immediately, and there were many lawsuits.Everyone is waiting to see how the leader will deal with the fact that the chairman of China is focusing on governing the country and calling on everyone to be at the critical juncture of accelerating modernization for ten years. Some people ask for leave to go sightseeing. Soon, the quasi-false news came.Not only is the holiday allowed, but it is not limited to the date, and can be extended as appropriate. This news was like dropping an atomic bomb in the research institute, and it spread instantly, and every department was talking about it, which was even more sensational than the newly opened movies and Peking opera plays.大家曉得百合和他最好，當面都是說好話。 以前叫革命加拼命，誰敢談渡假？如今四人幫倒了，華主席照顧華僑真是無微不至呀！ 人家南斯拉夫早有結婚出門旅行的事，不稀奇嘛！我們現在改弦易轍，這方面也要急起直追才是！ 台灣人嘛，要特別照顧。 百合當然聽得出弦外之音，對歸國學人和台灣同胞顯然是有嫉妒和不平之意。但是享受特權的白振台似乎無動於衷，自己又何必硬去煞風景？反正她從未要求特殊照顧過，於心無愧，其它也就管不了。 四月裏，給白振台的房子騰出來了。這是外文印刷廠附近的一棟洋房，樓上一層給他，共有兩間房，外帶現代化設備的廁所，廚房與樓下人家共用。從窗口可以遙望動物園，風景很美。院裏派人先粉刷一新後，又給白振台開了介紹信到進出口部門買傢俱。其他一些零碎的添置都是百合幫他張羅。 五一前兩天，百合帶著女兒到新居訂被子。她趕在新郎走前，再來看看還需要添置什麼。 小彤頭一回瞻仰到新式擺設的房間，一時瞪大了眼睛東張西望。 電視機如今已不是稀貨，但它上頭擺了一盆手工精巧的假花，配著牆上的字畫，顯得特別有氣派。一套西式餐桌椅，鋪上媽媽送的鏤花白餐巾，襯得一對景泰藍花瓶色澤明亮，格外典雅。還有冰箱和電唱機，都叫小彤羨慕不已。 白叔叔，你這新房可以和電影上那些東歐國家的媲美！ 白振台呵呵笑：還算不了什麼，比起 他連忙打住，到底不好意思提起美國。 what is this?白叔叔？ 小彤彎身瞧著牆角一件印著大同兩字的圓筒狀鍋。 大同電鍋，燒飯用的。 振台走過來向她解釋。 日本貨，是不是？ 台灣貨！現在台灣家家戶戶都用它。 百合聽到是家鄉貨，趕緊跑來看。她揭開不銹鋼鍋蓋，拿出內鍋來端詳。四七年就離開台灣去日本，她作夢也沒想到家鄉變化這麼大。振台曾悄悄向她介紹過台灣的經濟建設，但這回才具體接觸到實物。 我昨天逛信託行，無意中發現的。夫婦都上班，有電鍋方便很多。 振台像推銷員般左擺右弄地展示貨品。 不算太舊，才賣十二塊，很合算，我趕緊買下來。等下我煮鍋飯給你們看！ 百合想提醒他不許用電器品的規定，但自己實在好奇，就成心裝聾作啞。 小彤把被胎擺平在床上，被裏被面折疊好了，讓媽媽去行線。百合看振台買的床單，圖案又回到五十年代的鴛鴦戲水，不再是葵花朵朵向太陽了。前幾年給女兒買的床單還印著毛澤東語錄，想想都好笑。連床單都要突出政治，這種事似乎只有中國才發生過。 振台打開了一瓶桔子水請母女倆。百合不喝，小彤去端來兩張椅子，與振台坐著喝汽水陪媽媽。 大姐，五一時，又有幾個台灣人從美國回來參觀訪問，你要不要見一見？ 算了，少惹麻煩。 四人幫事件以前，這不是藉口，人人都怕惹上麻煩。近來門戶開放了，有些人家還允許在家中招待親友。百合這時還拒絕見外賓，不但是北京的一些同鄉，連女兒也認為她太頑固。 從前，為了給外賓留下好印象，政府不惜弄虛作假地裝潢場面。百合深惡痛絕，絕對不使自己當傀儡。現在這種情況改善不少，但她依舊不願意見外賓。 北京有不少回歸的台灣人，你是屬於老前輩了。振台耐心地遊說：你出來講一句好話，比甚麼統戰宣傳效果都要大！ 百合無聲地笑笑，繼續彎腰釘被子。 她對統戰有自己的想法。首先，她相信認同和回歸是感情問題，不該像採購貨品似的到處比價。自己年青時投奔祖國，憑著的是一股理想和熱情。二十多年來歷盡滄桑，理想已如天邊的地平線，可望不可即。但是她從不生離異之心，可見賴以維繫的是民族感情。對於民族感情，又有什麼可說的呢？ 媽，您要能見外賓，也叫我跟著開開眼界呀！ 女兒跟著鼓噪。 百合停了針線，直起腰，不理睬女兒，管自看著振台微笑。 還是你來做最好，阿雄。 說著，她環視了一眼佈置得富麗堂皇的新房。 你就是甚麼都不說，外賓只是要進來參觀一下你的家，管保讚不絕口。這樣的宣傳效果，豈不更大？ 振台無法反駁，富泰的圓柱臉又呵呵笑開來。 這真是我見過的最漂亮的新房，葛英住進來時，不知有多高興！ 小彤忍不住又讚美起來，水汪汪的眼睛洋溢著無窮的羨慕和嚮往。 我們蜜月旅行一回來，先讓葛英燒幾個菜請你們！ 振台慷慨地向小彤許下諾言。 車票甚麼的都買好了吧？ 百合細心地問了一句。 提到車票，振台喜得已經定形的笑臉第一次罩上烏雲。 唉，沒想到，到現在還沒有下落！ 原來葛英想沿途坐軟席臥鋪，關起包廂的門，兩口子單獨守在一起。她嫌硬席臥鋪太嘈雜，天南地北的人都擠在一個車廂裏，新婚夫婦混在裏頭多彆扭。她要振台多方爭取。他向領導提出後，對方面有難色，至今還沒有回話。 先叫院裏給他升級吧，百合打趣地說。軟座規定只有高幹、外賓和華僑才能坐；身份不對，有錢也買不到票。 振台不相信。 兩張票應該可以通融吧？我一個美國朋友告訴我，軟臥的車廂空得很。每個車廂只有四個座位，他每次都是一個人獨享一整個車廂。 其實乘硬鋪旅行也不壞，百合向他開導，雖然人多嘈雜，但可以碰到各路英雄，聊起天來可有意思。我幾次到東北探親，車上從來不覺得無聊。 還是設法乘軟席臥鋪，關起門才像新婚洞房呀！ 小彤半取笑半認真地鼓勵他。 起碼開開眼界呀！我長這麼大，平均每年都坐過火車，到現在也還沒有見過載臥是啥樣子呢！ 說著，小彤一隻手使勁地揪著一條辮子打轉，似乎惋惜自己永遠攀不上這種機會。 前幾年，我從陝北回家，有時硬臥也買不到，不是站得兩腿發腫就是屁股發麻。那時，想到坐火車就頭大！小時候，媽媽帶我們去東北看爸爸。那時乘火車真開心呀！天不亮就爬起來扒在窗口看風景。 聽著小彤敘述坐火車的經驗，百合彷彿又看到自己攜兒帶女，奔馳過遼闊的松花江平原，千里趕去和丈夫相聚的歡欣情景。廿五年的婚姻生涯，她乍一回憶起來，幾次高潮似乎都發生在火車站上。先是送丈夫去支邊，以後又送兒女上山下鄉。北京站，她相信，自己熟得可以閉了眼進出其間。 她忽然發現，不止是家庭和婚姻，自己一生的關鍵時刻都和火車攀上緣。記得離開家鄉時，年紀也和小彤下鄉時一般大。乘著台北到高雄的柴油車，不也一路顛得雙腳腫脹屁股僵硬？ 一輩子就結一次婚，不能叫葛英失望！不得已，我找美國朋友說情去！ 振台極有自信地拍拍胸脯說。他對各種後門都很熟悉。 我想領導會給你想辦法，不必找洋人說項。 百合趕緊安慰他。她最不喜歡讓外國人管中國事。 那我先等等看，大姐休息一下吧，喝一杯桔子水。 他去牆角拿來一瓶桔子水，打開倒了一杯，說好說歹地請百合喝下去。 知道振台急著要交涉車票，百合迅速地釘完被子，沒等他表演電鍋燒飯，就偕女兒回家。 一路上，小彤幾次提起白叔叔的新居，對裏頭的擺設念念不忘。上了公共汽車，她還在念叨著人家即將乘包廂火車去渡蜜月的事。小彤那陶醉的神色使百合覺得頗不是滋味。她望著車窗外，嘴裏只嗯嗯啊啊地應著，並不起勁。 才四點多鐘，但幾時天色已經轉黃，空氣沉甸甸的。暮春季節還括著風，百合不禁皺起眉頭。她就怕看那黃昏昏黯淡無光的天，把座古老灰色的城市籠罩得更加昏黃灰暗。 二路電車很擁擠，母女倆乾脆放棄轉車，一路步行回家。路上，小彤一手摟了媽媽的腰，一邊在她耳邊絮叨著。 媽，您要是常見外賓，說不定爸爸很快就調回北京。 百合大不以為然：他應該調回來就回來，為甚應要去求外賓？ 沒等女兒開口，她又說下去：不變才能應萬變，何況情況是在不斷地變化，哪天外賓不吃香了，甚至變成敵我矛盾，不又倒楣？文革就是最好的例子！ 她的振振有詞只換來女兒的搖頭嘆氣。 媽，這年頭誰還想得那麼遠呀！有甚麼好處，你不拿白不拿。政府現在自動照顧留學生和華僑，又不要自己開口，有甚麼關係？ 百合提醒女兒：我不是留學生，也不是華僑。 但您是早期回歸的台灣人呀！不乘現在吃香的時候請求照顧，將來台灣統一了，就遲啦！ 看她焦躁的神情，百合抱歉地搖著頭。 我從來不求人，尤其不求甚麼外賓。 小彤抽回了手，賭著氣不再開口。 做母親的感到一份難以言喻的歉疚。她想對女兒說，自己的父親當年抗日到底，可死在獄中，也不低頭求饒；不求人是杜家的傳統，不可一日或變。但小彤早知道外祖的故事，它像雷鋒王杰的事跡一樣，在年青人眼中已是陳腔爛套，遠不如一件新傢俱來得光彩。 百合跟著沉默下來。 大院子裏很冷清，風沙把人們趕進了屋。幾件沒收走的衣服在繩子上抖索，幾隻小雞在樹根處啄食。挺直的楊樹已披上了綠葉，像盔甲齊整的武士那般威武。自家窗口前的小柳樹，垂著修長碧綠的枝條，像嬌羞的少女，柔順得低首貼耳。 媽，我覺得您太不為爸爸著想您從來沒為他著想過！ 到自家宿舍門口，小彤忽然爆發了一句。說完她頭一甩，丟下媽媽先跨進了大門。 百合楞在門外，心口宛如被馬蜂啃過。火辣辣的痛中發麻。耳邊忽然傳來呼呼風聲，她習慣地瞇細了眼，轉過身來背風而立。風把大雜院括得一片蒼茫，柳條在風沙中搖擺，慘綠中透著昏黃。 小彤的氣話說過就算了，回社前依舊和媽媽親熱如常。百合卻從此平添了一份惆悵。 她不時問自己：究竟哪裏做錯了，竟叫女兒責備母親無情？自己隻身離鄉背井，在此戀愛結婚，丈夫和兒女便是唯一至親的，不為他們著想還為誰呢？夫婦長期忍受別離，為的正是兒女，誰知到頭來還不得感激或諒解。 每想到此，她便一肚子委屈。 哪有妻子不念丈夫的呀！老孔去東北的頭兩年，百合最是想念他。不但孩子生病時想起他，逢年過節不能一家團聚，也為他牽腸掛肚的。偶而看到人家夫婦作親熱狀，自己不禁怦然心動。夜裏輾轉不能成眠，就狠狠咬緊了被角，發誓第二天要打報告，請求攜帶兒女奔去東北落戶。 作梗的偏是丈夫。他總希望她能忍耐；相信建廠到投產，頂多三五年就可以調回。百合是南方人，北京是她耐寒度的極限，他不願妻子跟著到邊疆受凍。何況，論生活和教育條件，北京更是首善之區，在此養兒育女最是理想。 接著大躍進失敗而來的困難時期更加堅定了這個想法。東北鬧飢荒，老孔營養不良而患水腫，一度還回家休養。比起外地，北京人雖然也餓得面黃肌瘦，但究竟沒聽說有人活活餓死的。百合前後只吃過兩回榆樹葉，總感到是不幸中的大幸。 不久文革來臨，全國轟轟烈烈地投入運動，任何私事都被放置一邊。清隊時百合受審查；老孔雖然沒有新錯，但因有右派的歷史，也重新審查過關。整整一年半夫婦間不曾見面，連音訊也斷絕。 就是受審查那一年，百合想念丈夫最少。整天要寫交待材料，她的記憶硬是要倒退到孩提和少女時代。她忙著回憶家史，窮追一些只見過一兩面的父輩朋友，以及寄居日本一年時所接觸的人事。 百合常遺憾自己沒能學醫，但這場思想整肅使她有機會解剖自己的過去，像解剖神經一樣，把它一件件放在顯微鏡下放大觀察。她以前從沒想到，一個普通人的經歷會變得這麼重要。 以後，百合終於推翻了特嫌的指控，得到歷史清白的結論。雖然政治上得到解放，她卻無法掙脫一份被烙印了的自疚心情。審查她的同事成年累月地向她講階級鬥爭史，使她相信：祖父一定是剝削成性的大地主，父親依賴他的剝削所得才能留學日本，因此抗日保鄉只是一種救贖的表現；自己千里投奔祖國也是同樣道理，與愛國無關。最後，她弄通了自己並沒有罪，有的只是祖輩的原罪而已。 因此，一般人談虎色變的清隊運動，對她而言先是一場浩劫，最後轉化成一場磨煉。她能夠為自己洗刷清白，自有一種經歷過煉獄的純淨和自豪感。杜百合是堅強而久經考驗的。 她相信老孔也有一種贖罪的心理。他因為右派的罪名而使妻兒蒙羞，深自慚愧，甚至把下放邊疆當作是罪有應得的懲罰。他默默工作，從不抱怨，也從不請求調回北京。七十年代初，夫婦分離的都紛紛申請調在一起。老孔卻心如止水，不為所動。在變化萬千的年代裏，他下了決心，寧可自己困守邊疆，也要保住妻子兒女有獲得團聚的機會。共產黨到底是講政策的他這樣推論凡是父親遠離，母親便該受到照顧，有兒女守在身邊。以後小彤調回了北京，這使他更加相信自己的忍受有了代價。 如今小彤卻責備母親無情，不為父親著想。她不知道，父母實在是彎彎曲曲為兒女想得太多，以致自己都麻木了。 百合為女兒的不知體貼而感到傷心。 過了五一，氣候一天比一天暖。連著幾天艷陽高照，暖得毛衣都穿不住，好像夏天已經提前光臨。百合睡不安寧，心中有股莫名的焦躁。她盼著接到丈夫的信，但郵務員偏吝於光顧，望眼欲穿只盼來一封兒子報平安的信。 運動期間，若有一方終止書信，往往意味著出了事故。這是普通常識，百合並非不知道。她按照常例也暫停了寫信，只是拒絕相信丈夫會出事故。右派的教訓使他變得小心翼翼，說話步步為營。文革他都安然度過了，四人幫事件應該無恙才對。 老孔對局勢是樂觀的。年前他回家相聚時，還談笑風生。幾年來神情從不曾如此開朗過。慶賀四害的鏟除，他一晚乾掉了兩瓶天津五加皮。女兒怕他醉倒，幾次勸飲都沒用。 快三十年了，沒有今天這樣痛快過呀！他紅著眼，卻抱著酒瓶不放。 隨他喝吧，百合也縱容他，醉一回也無妨。 有過文革的慘痛教訓，丈夫曾經向她預言，這次揭批四人幫運動不會演成另一次清隊大整肅。 沒想到他回去就音信杳然。 也許他只是疏忽，懶得寫家信。百合知道，單調的獨居生活，長年下來實在也乏善可陳。小彤沒調回來前，百合就覺得日子像白開水一樣，淡而無味。她發現，這幾年自己給丈夫寫信便越來越短。長久的分離令人倦怠，最後也就習以為常。彼此早過了不惑之年，年輕時的恩愛已被歲月消蝕大半；如今心心相繫的是家庭的感情。