Chapter 5 guest from homeland

When Luo Shaoyong drove home, night had fallen.When the wind blew up, it shook the little tortoise car wobbly, and the windows of the car rattled.Before the turn off Highway 80 toward the Bay Bridge, he slowed down, squinting to the right from time to time.The sky and the sea were dark, but the city of San Francisco was burned transparently by the lights, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, brilliant and pure. He has lived in San Francisco for four years, and he only loves the night view of this city; especially the view from the shore, it is so beautiful that it is almost holy.Every time I go out of the city to the east bank, I am happy to return at night, in order to feast on this beauty.

But tonight, he was the first to get up to say goodbye to his master.The whole house was talking happily, and the host couldn't help being surprised. Don't worry if you are alone at home, take a step first. He lied. The guest of honor, Wang Zhi, was busy answering details about his life in China.Shaoyong originally wanted to sneak away so as not to disturb everyone's interest.But Wang Zhi was able to see all directions with his eyes, and rushed to the door to say goodbye with one stride. You went back fifteen years earlier, Lao Luo, the time is wrong and now it is different, the four modernizations, all talents are needed, you painters are also indispensable.Come back and have a look if you have a chance, give me a call when you come to Beijing

Go back fifteen years earlier.Is that the case? There was a silent sneer on the corner of Shaoyong's mouth, so he shook his head unconsciously, followed by the brakes. There are several queues of vehicles in front of the checkpoint where the bridge is to pay the toll.He fumbled in his pocket for his wallet and wondered why the traffic was so crowded at this moment.I suddenly remembered that it was Friday night, the beginning of the weekend, and people were going to town to have fun after dinner. After passing the checkpoint, he rolled up the car window, stepped on the gas pedal, and changed gears. The car quickly returned to the team automatically and followed the flow on the bridge.The sea wind was blowing violently, and the small car was caught in the chasing convoy, and was forced to follow behind involuntarily.At such times, Shaoyong, who naturally dislikes driving, always feels an indescribable nervousness and uneasiness.This is just like experiencing political movements on the mainland before. It is also involuntary, with indescribable panic and depression.

You went back fifteen years earlier, the time is wrong, everything is fine now! Wang Zhi's words rang in his ears again. Over the past year, Shaoyong has met many people who have come out of China, some have just immigrated, some have been sent to the United States to study and research, and some like himself have returned to the motherland and come out again.But like Wang Zhi, who was sent back to the United States on a business trip more than half a year after returning to China, this is the first time I have encountered it. Wang Zhi used to teach at the University of San Francisco.It was only last summer that Shaoyong heard from his friends that his family of four was going back to China to settle down.I met twice before leaving, also at the host's house tonight.At that time, Wang Zhi was not as chatty and laughing as this time, but serious and almost nervous, and a bit like the heroic feeling of a soldier going to war.His wife tried to put on a happy face, but she couldn't hide a blank look of uncertain future between her brows.Shaoyong had repeatedly comforted them, saying that living conditions in China had improved, and there were new policies for intellectuals, so it would not be too difficult to adapt.

We prepared for the worst anyway. Mrs. Wang's tone was determined to the point of sacrifice. Shao Yong's prediction was not wrong. The Chinese government treats international students very courteously, and assigns Wang Zhi a position that suits his ideals. Even Mrs. Wang, who has not worked for many years, is placed in the same institution. In addition to the regular salary, there is an additional subsidy. The couple together receive 460 yuan a month , equal to the salary of a general in the PLA.No wonder Wang Zhi kept saying that he couldn't use it all up.They will also be arranged to go to famous mountains to escape the summer heat in summer, which is very preferential treatment.

What surprised Shaoyong was the preferential treatment in the dormitory.It is said that there are new regulations, the highest level of treatment is a set of six rooms, with a kitchen and toilet.It just so happened that in the city where Wang Zhi lived, the most advanced dormitories were only four-bedroom units.Therefore, in order to make up for the six rooms, the households were moved out from other units, and two rooms were made available to the Wang family.The two extra rooms are not on the same floor as Wang's house, so it is inconvenient to live in, so they are only used as storage rooms.

Can you go back?Shaoyong asked him implicitly. I thought about it, but later I heard from my colleagues that housing is the most important thing in China, and I have returned it, but I will not come back if I want it in the future.Many cadres prefer to live separately now in order to save houses for their children to marry in the future.We currently have enough to live in, but the children will grow up as they say, so we have to think about them! It is also said that parents all over the world share the same heart.Wasn't it for the future of my child that I went abroad again?The Cultural Revolution branded itself as a stinky old nine, a running dog of the US imperialists, a special suspect, and so on.Fearing that their children would be discriminated against for life, Fushi had no choice but to go abroad in anger, embarking on the path of self-imposed exile.

This road only leads to Broadway When did he choose this exit?They come, the security.He followed the traffic flow into the never-night zone where the lights are red and the feasting is green. Broad goose at night is a world of neon lights, a mud pit for cars and a market for people.Striptease advertisements are dazzling, and the music of the end of the century is deafening.Speed ​​has lost its meaning here, and Shaoyong's car went from crawling to unable to move an inch.He rolled down the car window to take a breath, and first he heard the warm greeting from the nightclub guy: Come in, take a look for free!

Chengmeiyu was not at home, he thought, one day he would spend a night with it, maybe he could get some inspiration.The year before last, he drew a picture of a stripper, which was a charcoal sketch of a stripper bending over to pick up clothes. It was sold on the street stall for two days.It's a pity that I'm not interested in characters, otherwise this would not be a livelihood. Entering the tunnel, the din was thrown behind the car in an instant.He breathed a sigh of relief, only to realize that he had been holding back all this time. Parked the car on the side of the street and walked for a while before arriving at my apartment.After entering the gate, I opened the mailbox first, and when I saw it was empty, I remembered that I had already received the letter in the afternoon.

Go upstairs, take out the key and put it in the lock.Before he could move, the disco music in the room greeted him first. I have to take care of my son, he reminded himself, with the record player still playing so loudly, beware of the landlord's eviction order. Mingming was lying on the sofa reading a scientific American magazine, one foot slipped to the floor, and was keeping time with the music. Daddy, someone called you twice, it seems that there is someone from China, the number is left behind. Yeah?I just met a guy from China.Obviously, turn down the volume of the record player.

Although the son's room is the farthest from the living room, the door is open, and the music comes out from inside, unimpeded and flooding everywhere.Usually it doesn't matter, but tonight Shaoyong feels a little depressed, and feels out of place when he encounters this kind of jubilant and clamoring music. What are you having for dinner? Compaq canned soup, sandwiches. Are you still hungry? not hungry. Relieved, he came to the telephone in the corner.Picking up the number, it seems to be from the east coast, could it be the same thing as Wang Zhi crossing the border?Out of politeness, he still dialed.After connecting, I found out that it was Holiday Inn, reported the extension number, and waited to be dialed to the room. He was obviously sensible, but he turned off the record player entirely. Hello?who are you? The person who answered the phone was a deep and thick baritone voice, which was unspeakably familiar. He gave his name.The other party's voice immediately raised an octave, and exclaimed: Hey, Lao Luo, you don't recognize my voice?I am Guan Li! Guan Li, it's you! Now it was Shaoyong's turn to shout loudly.After six years of separation, I never dreamed that he would come to the United States. when did you come?How long do you live?I'm coming to see you now His questions poured out. The other party said calmly: I am here to accompany the provincial cadres on a business trip.How about this, Lao Bai is here, how to meet, let him talk to you. Lao Bai?Another familiar name.He guessed it was the boss Bai who opened a bookstore in Chinatown, and everyone called him Lao Bai.By the way, when he was in Taiwan, he, Guan Li and himself had participated in the same reserve officer training. Hey, old Luo, where have you been all night?Let me have a good meal!That's right, Guan Li and his academic exchange delegation will visit the United States for three weeks, two of which will be spent in the New York area to discuss and sign some specific plans.Tomorrow they will fly to the east and return home via Seattle, so tonight I will come to see him!Shaoyong immediately interjected, almost stamping his feet in remorse.Wish I had known, I just came back from Berkeley. What a coincidence!Hey, running back and forth like this is not the way to do this, I want to go back to the city anyway, let me send him to you, and you will be responsible for sending him back later. Do you recognize my family?In fact, I came to pick him up very quickly. Shao Yong was a little worried. Didn't I transport a batch of paintings for you when you last had an art exhibition?Still have a little impression. Shaoyong pointed out in detail and greeted Guan Li again before putting down the phone. Obviously, Uncle Guan is coming from China!He immediately took care of his son: you wait until you see him before going to bed. Which Uncle Guan? Seeing the child's blank face, Shaoyong was angry and anxious. Not long after you were born, he hugged your Uncle Guan with his own hands!Later, their family was devolved, that is, they moved away from Beijing.But when we left China, he still came to see us off, don't you remember?Uncle Guan has twin sons, one year younger than you? The child shrugged, having neither memory nor interest.He yawned and said with difficulty: Well, I'll just wait. After finishing speaking, he fell back on the sofa, lazily. Shaoyong sighed helplessly.This is probably a kind of generation gap, I don't know the joy of visiting from the motherland.After living in the United States for a long time, the child gradually forgot about the motherland.Parents are very anxious and send their children to Taiwan for vacation whenever they have the opportunity.But this superficial approach is just better than nothing. Get up and help me tidy up the living room.With such a messy room, how can you have the nerve to entertain guests from China? Obviously inclined to agree with the United States, probably realized that this is a matter of national integrity, and immediately got up. Not long after the school's summer vacation, Meiyu took her second child to Taiwan to visit relatives.Without the management and supervision of the housewife, the father and son muddled along and never cleaned any room.In the living room, clothes were thrown away at will, and then rubber shoes and smelly socks also came to occupy a place.Dad's studio faced west, and it was almost impossible to paint in summer afternoons, so he moved the easel, paints, and brushes to the living room.In order to cool off, the son also brought the violin and the music stand.Watching TV news for meals is a matter of course, so pepper and salt shakers and bottles of paint have been on the coffee table for a long time.It's only been ten days or so, and it looks like a junk shop run by Jews. Shaoyong hurriedly moved his easel and painting utensils back to the room, and left the rest to his son to clean up. He hurried to the kitchen to gather food and drink. Guan Li has a lot of alcohol, but it is a pity that the notice was too late, otherwise, he would go to China Town and buy two bottles of Moutai or Luzhou Daqu, so that old friends can reminisce about the old days, how beautiful it would be!Fortunately, whiskey and John Walker are common at home; check the refrigerator, there are more than half a dozen beers left.Okay, it's okay to get a little drunk. He opened every pantry, looking for something to drink.After all, Meiyu was careful. Before leaving, she bought a lot of canned food and filled up all the gaps. After searching, she found canned lychees, anchovies and bamboo shoots in oil for him, as well as a pack of Tianfu peanuts, plus A jar of roasted almonds, a local specialty, is finally enough. I haven't seen you in a few years, I should really get drunk again!Shaoyong couldn't help looking forward to it. I still remember Guan Li rushing to see me off when I left China in early 1975.One night, the two drank Erguotou to each other, the conversation became less and less, but the wine became more and more fierce, and both of them became as drunk as mud.According to what Meiyu later said, before he passed out drunk, Shaoyong cried loudly, while Guan Li suddenly laughed foolishly, and then sobbed again, as if going crazy. It is rare to get drunk a few times in life.No, since then, Shaoyong had countless opportunities to drink, but he never got drunk once.Counting the numbers, I have lived to forty-five, and I will count the time when I am really drunk.I really don't know people and things, and I'm dead.Later, when his thoughts were exhausted or his mood was depressed, he also drank his sorrows with wine, trying to relive the state that was more complete and pure than sleep, but he couldn't get it anymore.Often, the more bored you become, the more awake you become, and sometimes it even ends with vomiting. Drinking, it seems, is similar to being in love, but it is also rare. Just when he obviously turned off the vacuum cleaner, Shaoyong rushed out of the kitchen for the last time, and put the food and wine on the coffee table in a mess, Lao Bai brought Guanli with him. You are still the same, old Luo! You are always the same, Lao Guan! Old friends hold hands, arguing that the other party has not changed, proving the eternity of friendship with the same appearance. However, Shaoyong knows that he has changed a lot, at least his mood has aged a lot.He felt that Lao Guan's appearance had not changed, his dark face was always so energetic, his mouth was wide open when he smiled, and his neat teeth were exposed, giving people an impression of being infinitely open and distinct in black and white; it was still the corn stalk My waist, once worried that it would be broken by the weight of the carrying pole and basket, is still straight up to this day.However, after a second glance, Laoguan is different from six years ago.The once bewildered and gloomy look has been replaced by a calm and confident look, especially the gaze, which has a deterrent power at the moment of staring closely. This is the boss, right?I'm as tall as my dad! Laoguan shook hands with Mingming seriously.Treat him like an adult. Shaoyong quickly explained that Meiyu brought her second child back to Taiwan to visit relatives, and asked about the recent situation of Mrs. Guan and the twin brothers. Lao Guan said they were all good. The children all look like their mother, not tall, but they are also round and thick, black and strong.Too bad I don't have time to take care of them. He did not explain why he did not have time to care for his children.Shaoyong didn't have time to get to the bottom of it for a while, so he first invited the two guests to sit down. After Mingming greeted the guest, he retreated into his room and closed the door. Shaoyong first passed cigarettes to the guests, and asked his old friend when he would arrive in San Francisco. the day before yesterday. How long have you been here?He was a little surprised.Why not notify sooner?I send you Christmas cards every year, do you have my address? Lao Guan nodded, but did not answer directly. He only said: Yesterday, I visited the University of California for a whole day, and I met Lao Bai today, so I got your phone number. Shaoyong remembers that Lao Guan and Lao Bai only met and got along during the training period for reserve officers, and they have not been in touch since then. Why did he connect with Lao Bai first when he came to the United States?Aside from his doubts, he couldn't help feeling a little jealous, but he smiled and didn't ask any further. Lao Bai didn't have much contact with Shaoyong, but he was quite well-known in the Chinese circle. He was enthusiastic about public welfare and had a wide range of interests, especially politics.His bookstore has become a stopping place for Chinese visitors.With this thought, Shaoyong was relieved. Lao Bai didn't intend to say goodbye immediately, so Shao Yong graciously greeted the two of them for a drink.Boss Bai ordered straight whiskey, and he seemed to have a lot of alcohol.Lao Guan only drank beer, and took a long sip, looking very restrained.Shaoyong drinks beer with him. I said earlier that you have a talent for painting. Lao Guan looked around at the several paintings in the living room and said to the master. His tone was so dry that no one could tell whether it was a compliment or something that had already been said.He graduated from the Department of Politics, and he also appreciates paintings, but he doesn't appreciate abstract paintings.After living in China for fifteen years, it seems that I am still the same. Lao Luo draws well!Lao Bai boasted to his master in an obligatory tone.He participated in the art exhibition held by our cultural center last year, which was very well received. I am old and have no ambitions, Shaoyong said casually, and he is a monk halfway, just a fool. He is most afraid of talking about his paintings with others, because he feels embarrassed when an ugly daughter-in-law sees her parents-in-law.So I tried to divert the topic away and asked my old friend: Are you still teaching English now? I haven't taught for a long time.This semester is all about administrative work. Shaoyong didn't know which aspect of administrative work he was referring to.According to the experience of living in China in the past, if the nature of the work is not disclosed by the person, it means that it needs to be kept secret, and it is best not to ask outsiders. But Laoguan explained frankly in the end: I am now in charge of the work in the department. Oh, you became the head of the department, congratulations! He was sincerely happy for his old friend.In the era of the Gang of Four, how could those who returned from abroad have such a blessing? What about Liwen? He asked about Laoguan's lover. She is the leader of the English group.However, starting this fall, she will also be in charge of department affairs. Wow, isn't your foreign language department a mom-and-pop shop? No, I was no longer in the department at that time.When I return from my visit to the United States this time, I will work in the Revolutionary Committee of the Academy. He didn't say what title he was in the Revolutionary Committee of the Academy.Shaoyong couldn't figure out whether he was out of modesty or out of confidentiality, so he stopped asking. Recently, the CCP has brought out the secrecy regulations of the early 1950s intact for propaganda.If those regulations are strictly enforced, almost everything except eating and sleeping will be kept confidential.Wei Jingsheng told foreign reporters the name of the Chinese general who commanded the Vietnam War. For this reason, he was tried and sentenced to 15 years in prison.Lao Guan is now a middle-level cadre, so of course he can't break the law knowingly. Come on, cheers!Shaoyong raised his glass to congratulate him: Your five years at the May 7th Cadre School finally paid off. Lao Bai also raised his glass and said: In the past two years, the policy on intellectuals has been truly implemented, which is worth celebrating! Lao Guan really drank half a glass of beer in one gulp.Putting down the cup, he regretfully said to Shaoyong: It's a pity you left two years early.If you wait until the Gang of Four falls, I believe you will be reluctant to leave. Shaoyong pondered for a while, and then said calmly: Really? Who knows?Go two years late, go back 15 years early, implement the policy, six rooms, high salary, famous mountain vacation The coolness and bitterness left by the beer juice flowing through the throat seems to last for a long time.Shaoyong swallowed his saliva, still struggling.He shook his head and said regretfully: The current so-called intellectual policy seems to me to be buying a small group of high-level intellectuals, but it is not really implementing policies for the broad intellectual class. He cited the example of Wang Zhi, worrying that this is cultivating a new privileged class. Lao Guan said that to promote the four modernizations, the country needs talents, and preferential treatment of intellectuals is the current policy.Judging from his unwavering tone, it seems that the creation of a new class is not a concern.As far as his teacher's college is concerned, it is said that the future trend is to follow the path of experts running the school. To be honest, we are not afraid of privileges, we are afraid of the incompetence of cadres. Laoguan's decisive tone surprised Shaoyong.Compared with Guan Li's belief and pursuit of a classless society fifteen years ago, this is really not a small revision. For the returned intellectuals, Lao Bai also expressed his opinions. Appropriate preferential treatment is possible and necessary. The new environment needs to be adapted.But don't treat them too differently from those in China, I'm afraid it won't affect you well! The treatment is too disparate.As soon as Shaoyong closes his eyes, he seems to be able to see the living conditions of some former colleagues and acquaintances: a family of four (some with three generations) live in one room; ;A few people scramble to use a desk; no matter how many people there are, the public only borrows two stools. Shaoyong remembered that when Guan Li was transferred from the countryside to the Teachers College, he wrote to tell him that the school gave him two small rooms, but the kitchen and toilet were shared and separated by a long distance.In winter, a pot of stir-fried vegetables is brought back to the house, and it is already cold enough to be returned to the pot. How many rooms do you live in now? He asked curiously. With a calm face, Lao Guan replied with a clear conscience: There are only two rooms.However, it is larger, with complete kitchen and toilet, and it is a single-family unit. Both Shao Yong and Lao Bai nodded in admiration.Only Shaoyong secretly sighed.When Laoguan became an official, he only had two suites, and the masses must still be like a day for thirty years. I have no objection to the return of courtesy to scholars. Shaoyong was afraid that his friends would misunderstand, so he had to speak out his inner thoughts. However, we both experienced the Cultural Revolution.You always remember why everyone supported the Cultural Revolution so much in the first place?Because overthrowing bureaucracy and privilege is the most popular.Everything is injustice, and if there is too much difference in levels now, the intellectuals will bear the brunt of the losses in the future! Lao Bai also said yes again and again. Shaoyong took the opportunity to emphasize one more sentence: The people who returned mainly came from their love for the motherland, and they didn't care too much about material enjoyment.When you went back, why was it for the six rooms and the salary of the general? Unexpectedly, instead of being moved, Guan Li shook his head and sighed. Lao Luo, many people who go back now are different from our time! In the past two years, the status of intellectuals has become higher and higher, but according to Guan Li, many people still apply to go abroad; even those who have just returned for three or four years also go abroad again under the pretext of not adapting to life or studying.The government does its best to give preferential treatment, but there have been cases in Beijing where returnees had a heated argument with the unit leaders in order to change their housing and increase their wages, and finally the whole family left.In view of this, the Chinese government tightened its belt and had to provide the best living conditions for foreign experts and scholars. For example, our Teachers College invited two Australians to teach English this spring.In addition to being responsible for their travel expenses, we provide the best building dormitory, each person has a monthly salary of 500 yuan, hires a nanny, and equips them with a car and driver Shaoyong was swallowing a sip of beer, when he heard the car and the driver, he was startled suddenly, the wine went astray, and he coughed so hard that tears almost rolled out. Regardless of the car and driver, the preferential treatment is too much! Lao Bai protested.He didn't know whether it was the hot wine or excitement, his face was flushed, his eyes were blinking, looking fiery and impatient. Guan Li immediately retorted: If we don't give cars, why don't we ask foreign guests to squeeze the bus? What's wrong with taking the bus? Shaoyong finally breathed a sigh of relief, and immediately pushed back. The other party waved his hand, completely ignoring it, and shook his head and frowned, as if wondering why his old friend couldn't understand his heart. You have all been to China, don’t you know how curious we Chinese are?They simply stare at foreigners like exotic animals in the zoo, and follow them in groups. Oh, it's inappropriate! Of course Shaoyong had seen that kind of scene before, and when he thought about it, he still felt embarrassed.However, it is not impossible for the masses to be persuaded and educated, and now they are obviously discarding the basics and chasing after the waste, and use the bullpen made of steel to enclose foreign guests.He didn't speak, just let out a long sigh. They can ride bicycles.Lao Bai was not refuted, but plausible: I have been to Australia, where cycling is very common. Guan Li stopped raising arguments, and only patiently explained: We have a large population and the traffic is congested.Foreigners are not familiar with the place in our city, if there is a car accident, what a bad impact it will be! After finishing speaking, Lao Guan discarded the owner's American cigarettes, took out a pack of Zhonghua brand cigarettes from his shirt pocket, lit one, and smoked leisurely.For Shaoyong and Lao Bai's dissatisfaction, it seems that they don't take it to heart. Not to mention a car accident, but a homicide case, wouldn't it be enough to deal with it according to the law?Foreigners are not so delicate in Africa! Shaoyong heard his voice was high-pitched and urgent, as if he could cough again at any time. Many foreigners desperately want to go to China, and they don't care about the remuneration, at least they don't need such a high remuneration. Lao Bai enlightened from another angle. that is!Shaoyong agrees with him.China is not a barren land, so there is no need to make such compromises. Hey, you don't understand our difficulties as cadres. Lao Guan's words are quite aggrieved. These two foreign experts were hired by our inland province for the first time.Our teacher's college is a pilot, and the task is huge!For the four modernizations, this pilot project can only succeed, not fail! Shaoyong and Laobai looked at each other in blank dismay, and said nothing. To be honest, many teachers have also expressed their opinions just like you.This car is what I insist on coming. Shaoyong was taken aback.Was it Lao Guan's idea?He put down his wine glass and reached out to rub his slightly frowning brows. Think about it, if due to poor living arrangements, half of the tutors pack up and leave, wouldn't the impact be even worse?Who will come in the future?It is easy to be a member of the masses, anyone can complain, but to be a cadre is to be responsible.I can't make a mistake! The last sentence came slowly and calmly, as if someone had to take out iron pliers word by word.In addition, the face of the speaker was as serious as a scapegoat, and the obedient people were infected, and they all lowered their eyes, trying to understand the mood of a cadre with heavy responsibilities and a long way to go. After a while, Shaoyong raised his eyes and stared at Laoguan.The latter was taking a strong puff of Zhonghua, letting the smoke slowly leak out from the slit of his mouth; supporting the right hand holding the cigarette with his left hand, leaning on the couch, looking straight at his eyes, with an unshakable attitude.The shirt that had been buttoned up to the throat when he entered the door had opened the neckline at some point, revealing a crew-neck sweater.A pair of light gray suit pants with just the right amount of fat and thin legs, probably specially made for going abroad, with straight creases.The leather shoes are also brand new, shining brightly.Lao Guan's expression was so confident that he was domineering, even supercilious. Shaoyong suddenly remembered a book they loved to read in the 1960s, "How Steel Was Tempered". Lao Bai glanced at his watch and said that it was midnight and he had to go home, but his body was buried in the armchair, showing no intention of moving. Are you hungry?asked the master.I go below. Lao Guan said he was not hungry, so he told him not to make any fuss.He pointed to the food listed on the coffee table, most of which had not been touched. We are Chinese appetites, he suggested, how about a pot of hot tea? Shaoyong hurriedly got up and went to the kitchen to boil water.He put the kettle on the stove and turned back to the living room.The two Guan Bai are talking about the peaceful reunification of China. This old pass, he thought, will always be politically prominent. Our negotiating opponent must be the Kuomintang. Lao Guan is explaining the CCP's policies to Lao Bai. In Taiwan, thirty years have proved that the Kuomintang cannot be overthrown.It has exercised effective governance and made economic achievements.We hope for peaceful reunification, and we can only negotiate with it. The Kuomintang cannot be overthrown. These words come from Guan Li's mouth, which is really impressive.The Guan family's grandfather had been a member of the Kuomintang for two generations, and it was not until he became a rebel.In the 1960s, especially when he was studying in the United States for two years, Guan Li was even more famous as an anti-Chiang faction.Any gathering with him always turned into a political debate in the end.After a few bottles of beer, he talked freely, and the more he talked, the more generous he was, and finally he hit the table with his fist, and the conclusion was: When the Kuomintang perishes, it is the day of China's reunification! It took twenty years to go around the earth, and sitting here tonight, he easily overturned the once famous Guan's theorem.Shaoyong found that Guan Li had indeed changed. Lao Guan, do you have any news about your family? Shao Yong asked with concern.When the Luo family left the mainland, they wanted to inquire about his parents overseas for him.But he graciously refused, saying: Wait for Taiwan to be liberated. My parents are fine.Last year, a friend from the United States told me about their recent situation.All had a good time. Lao Guan's dark face suddenly softened, and his tone became gentle.Shaoyong found that this time he was no longer an aggressive cadre, he was also a son of man. woo woo The water boiled, and the host got up to make tea.He cocked his ears to the conversation in the living room.Lao Bai mentioned the Kaohsiung incident in Taiwan, and also involved the case of Wei Jingsheng. This old Bai, Shaoyong couldn't help laughing wryly as he thought about it, he was simply a copy of Lao Guan back then.Who says history doesn't repeat itself? It is because the sentence in Wei Jingsheng's case was too severe, which greatly affected the sentencing of the Kaohsiung incident.You go back and reflect on our behalf, and try to reduce Wei Jingsheng's sentence. When Shaoyong came out with tea, he heard Lao Bai pleading for Wei Jingsheng. He poured a cup of tea and handed it to Lao Guan first. Lao Guan took the tea, saw the steam rising, blew on it lightly, and then put it down.At this time, the corners of his eyebrows were raised, his eyes were suspicious, and he looked puzzled. Why do you hold Wei Jingsheng so high overseas?Yesterday at the University of California, the audience asked about Wei Jingsheng several times.We don't take him seriously at home.He betrayed intelligence and attacked national leaders. Fifteen years is enough leniency! lenient.Shaoyong was a person who had experienced the Cultural Revolution and understood the meaning of this generosity.Compared with the lawlessness of the Gang of Four era, now that a young man is mobilized to try a young man, of course no matter what the sentence is, it will be considered lenient. Lao Bai naturally disagreed.He defended Wei Jingsheng, lamented the premature death of the democratic movement symbolized by this case, and struggled with the setback of his own ideals.Speaking of excitement, his eyes burned like fire, and sweat broke out from the corner of his forehead. The water droplets gathered from the venting from the heart, reflecting the light, were extraordinarily crystal clear.When he mentioned that his throat was hoarse, he didn't bother to take a sip of the tea brought by the host. Lao Bai is out of patriotism, and Shao Yong knows that it is rare to have this kind of pride in his early forties.Back then, my ideals and enthusiasm were by no means inferior to Lao Bai.As for Laoguan, it's even worse than worse. However, the current Lao Guan has a dark face, cold eyes, and the corners of his mouth are twisted into an arch because of disdain.His astonishment and doubts have turned into aggrieved, even wanting to fight back. The generation of the Cultural Revolution is not worthy of sympathy.He told Lao Bai: They are illiterate and hooligans, they only know how to destroy, but they have no ability to build!Honestly, we give up on this generation! Shaoyong was taken aback. Illiterate and hooligan, when did Laoguan become a black judge?In the past, he was so envious of the Red Guards that he even wrote to the Central Committee to ask him to join the Red Guards all over the country.Just because the status of studying in the United States at that time was lower than the five black categories, and he was not qualified to participate in the rebellion, so he gave up without approval.It is true that the Red Guards had sabotaged and made serious mistakes, but they charged forward under the call of ideals and the deception of Mao Zedong.They are not the culprits, but the victims!Others may not know it, but Lao Guan has witnessed the bloodshed and death of that generation.Many Red Guards were still smiling when their pulses stopped, because they believed they were going to the altar for the people. Laoguan, how can you give up a generation so easily? Shaoyong couldn't help but question him in a protesting tone. that is!Lao Bai also disagreed.The phenomenon of hooliganism and illiteracy is also the responsibility of the party and the state.This can only be remedied, never give up! Lao Guan spread his hands, expressing his helplessness. How to remedy?Now it's a waste of time!We are going to support their generation. He appeared so benevolent that it left people speechless for a moment. Lao Bai thought he was exhausted, so he finally got up to leave. We will keep in touch from now on.He said goodbye to Lao Guan: "I will visit you sincerely when I go to China next year." The host escorts the guest out of the apartment door.When I came back, I saw Guan Li cut his hands front and back, browsing the paintings on the wall. Do you want to see my studio? He showed the guests to his studio. When tidying up the living room just now, I was too hasty, and only thought of stuffing the easel and so on into this small room, so that there is almost no room for me to enter the room that was originally messy.Guan Li stood at the door and watched.His eyes quickly fixed on an association of oil paintings of Tiananmen that took up the entire wall.Except for a corner tower, the canvas is full of flowing combinations of red and black colors, symbolizing the connection and leap of ideas.This was done by Shaoyong in one sleepless night in the spring of 1976.When it was finished, it hung on the west-facing wall and was never touched again, neither exhibited nor sold. Lao Guan watched silently for a while, then returned to the living room. Can you make a living from painting? His tone was full of concern. Shaoyong shook his head and smiled bitterly: If I sell paintings, the whole family will have to drink northwest wind. He told the truth that it was Meiyu who took the burden of life.She set up a street stall at Fisherman's Wharf, selling jewelry and souvenirs, specializing in business for tourists.What he earns from selling paintings can only supplement his family expenses. Is your life stable like this? The concern of old friends turned into worry. passable.Pay the rent on time, and have never been rushed by the landlord. After finishing speaking, he pretended to be chic and smiled.He is unwilling to complain, and feels that there is no need to tell his friends what happened to him in the past few years.To make a living, he has done all kinds of work, selling hot dogs, scraping fish scales, washing cars, and taking care of gas stations. He didn't concentrate on painting until the sales of paintings improved and the business of street stalls stabilized.And that was just over a year ago. In order to comfort his friend and to show that he has not lost everything in the past five years, he told his old friend that he bought a piece of land.Four acres, on the side of a mountain in northern California. After the children grow up, the old couple will go to the mountain forest to build a wooden house for the rest of the year. Lao Guan burst out laughing suddenly, and his face, which had been tense all night, relaxed for the first time. I didn't expect you to be so negative that you wanted to retire to the mountains, forests and springs! He sat on the single sofa that Lao Bai vacated, stretched his legs, and put the heels of his shoes on the side of the coffee table.He took out another Zhonghua card and lit one leisurely. Shaoyong also followed his example, occupying the couch, resting his head on one armrest and hanging his feet on the other.He asked for a Zhonghua card, and the two of them started puffing at each other. Except that people are fifteen years older, the scene is the same as before, beer and cigarettes, talking to each other. You can consider going back to your country. Lao Guan's advice is obviously out of good intentions. Shaoyong just shook his head without saying a word, and continued to lobby for convenience. It is true that the four modernizations lack talents!And all kinds of talents are needed.We want everything, including abstract paintings.Most importantly, our policies are being formulated and implemented, and even democracy and the rule of law must be in place.In thirty years, there has never been a brighter future than now.Do you believe it or not? Shaoyong narrowed his eyes, exhaled a few puffs of smoke rings, and then nodded cautiously and reservedly. In the early spring of last year, when the warm current of the Democracy Wall blew away the severe cold in Beijing, his heart was awakened by the activities.But this vision is as short-lived as the life of the Democracy Wall.Since then, he hasn't been moved again. Come back if you have a chance. yes. Shaoyong briefly agreed.The other party did not ask for details, so he omitted to describe the ambiguity of this hope.China's current tourism industry is absurdly charged to the point of complaints.The painter's income is barely enough to survive, so there is no possibility of interest.What's more, he never thought of traveling back to his home country.I don't know why, but I am so stubborn and extreme towards that place. I either embrace it wholeheartedly, or automatically exile it, nothing else.這種心懷是痛苦而且寂寞的即使對老關，也無法表達。 他問起朋友一家在國內的生活，發現確實改善很多。工資都加了一倍，買了台灣出品的黑白電視機，偶而也能看場好萊塢的電影。美中不足的似乎就是工作太忙，沒有空閒招呼孩子。有時夫婦同時到外地出差，把孩子送到鄰居家搭伙外，其他全是自治。 好在內地風氣好，小孩這樣自生自滅也還不致於變壞。雖然如此，今秋上初中，我們準備給他們找個補習老師。現在不準備，臨到考大學就來不及了。如今，競爭可厲害哪！ 補習，競爭少勇聽著，忽然想起了台灣的學生時代。他就靠做家教念完了大學。 當幹部是啥滋味？老關，說來聽聽吧。 少勇的好奇竟惹來朋友一肚子苦水。 據說幹部好的不少，但稱職的也不多。四人幫倒了，但舊勢力還在，造成許多觀望派。老幹部官復原職，許多也官復原樣，不進則退，成了四化的絆腳石。中年幹部挑起大樑，一個人當兩個使，上面要應付老的，下面要培養年輕的，忙得團團轉。 我們願意賣命地幹，但常常是徒勞無功，真叫人垂頭喪氣！譬如走後門，自己不走容易，叫別人不走，就比登天還難。 少勇可以想像他們的艱苦，不得不點頭表示同情。 鄧小平要帶頭推行退休制了，他安慰朋友說：總是一種新陳代謝的辦法。 老關由衷擁護這個政策，而且信心十足。談著談著，他忽然又嘆氣起來。 咱們這個制度把什麼都包辦下來，衣食住行，生老病死，甚至結婚離婚，看來不是好辦法。 少勇一聽，眉毛挑起半天高。 ah?你現在成了修正主義者了！好，終於順應歷史的潮流。 老關嘿嘿笑了兩聲，沒有反駁。他抓了一把杏仁，津津有味地嚼著。少勇又去搜刮冰箱，把僅剩的兩瓶啤酒拿來，也不用杯子，拔掉瓶蓋，一人一瓶就喝起來。他們聊起從前的同學。少勇告訴他，某某離婚，某某又厭世自殺，某某當選過十大傑出青年，某某又當了官。二十年光陰，人世變化真不小。 記得咱們從前開車到黃石公園，老關忽然提起，整夜不睡，在湖邊喝啤酒，談論中國革命的前途嗎？ 少勇點點頭。就是那一回，兩家決定念完書就回大陸參加社會主義建設的。 喝美國啤酒，抽美國烟，談中國革命那是十分愜意的事啊 老關說著，聲音逐漸輕微，最後竟拉成一聲嘆息。他懷抱著啤酒瓶，目光落到牆壁和天花板的交界處，鍋刷般的眼睫毛，也不眨巴一下，神色那麼專注而淒清，似乎整個人也跌回到那一段少年書生指點江山的日子裏。 從前的關力，在一番激昂慷慨之後，會突然沉默下來，自個兒沉醉在理想和夢幻交織的邊緣。眼前的他就像煞老僧入定。這是關力沒錯，少勇知道，老朋友那永恆的一面到底沒有被歲月消蝕掉。 嗄，你不會笑我還留戀著過去吧？ 他忽然坐直了身子，抽回了擱在茶几上的腳，略帶心虛地問主人。 少勇微微一笑，說：我就常常懷念起五七幹校的那段生活。臭老九在一塊兒耕田，日出而作，日入而息；個個頭袋輕鬆，四肢發達，偶而編首順口溜打發閒暇。人生難得幾回閒 老關急忙搖手攔阻他：沒有五七幹校啦！知識分子現在是不夠用，哪有時間去耕田？ 他撩起袖口看表。 少勇也側頭看壁上的電鐘。兩點。 我得趕回旅館了。 睡我這兒吧，一早送你過去。 不行，還是回去好，免得那兩位掛心。 他們這時反正睡著了，也無所謂掛心。早上趕去和他們吃早點不行嗎？ 老關還是搖頭。 五月裏有個翻譯叛國，搞得現在大家都緊張。我還是回去，免得惹來不必要的麻煩。 主人不敢堅持。去房裏找了兩件外套，分一件燈蕊絨的給他。 披上吧，老關。這衣服你回頭經西雅圖走也有用，那裏也是早晚涼。 客人順從地穿上外套。 老關，他們現在是不是把你當自己人看待？ certainly. 口氣堅定而自然。 你爭取入黨沒有？ 我已經是黨員了。 語調泰然自得。 值得恭費少勇想這曾是我們六十年代最大的願望哪！經過七十年代的自我幻滅和絕望，到底讓關力在八十年代追求到。值得慶祝。 但少勇卻說不出話來。他點點頭表示讚許，雙手往外套口袋裏一插，就領著客人出門去。 路上，兩人默默無語。該說的都說了，而客套話從來不存在於彼此間。 車過大橋時，東岸燈火輝煌，一望無際。 這夜景使我想起紐約。 這是關力唯一觸景生情的表白。 過了橋，假日旅館在望。老朋友又要分手了，這一別，不知何日再相見。少勇忽然感到悵然若失。 下一站到哪兒？ 先到紐約，然後去費城拜訪生化學家某某 少勇對某某的為人略有所聞，連忙警告朋友：老關，聽說這位某某有學騙兼學閥之嫌，在上海攪得怒聲四起，在美國也出了洋相，你們最好不要去。 not afraid.我們是上過當，但不會一直上下去。 他似胸有成竹，因此口氣也落落大方。 我出國前在北京住過幾天，文化圈子裏的人已經在流傳著海外四大無恥，兩男兩女，據說此君便是其中之一。還有一位投機份子，我們也心知肚明，照樣要去登門拜會他。這是統戰工作。 少勇頗不以為然地，眉頭一皺，沖口而出： 你們這種統戰方式簡直不講原則！ 關力卻淡然一笑：怎麼沒有原則？我們的政策是愛國不分先後。 愛國當然不分先後，但也得有誠意，不是成心佔祖國的便宜，否則良莠不分，好人卻步 我們當然有原則的，老駱。中國需要人家說她好，這樣的人說她好，我們當然歡迎，也對他投桃報李。 少勇不吭氣了，默默把車停在旅館前。夜深了，大旅店門口靜悄悄的。 誰來都去看他，因為他是打出字號的左派，保險嘛。 跨出汽車前，老關拍拍朋友的肩膀，耐心而略表歉意地解釋。 譬如說，我來看你，至少在目前我就不便公開說出來。但我去看他，領導會說看得好，絕對不會出紕漏。這一點，老駱呀，相信你會諒解。 他並不諒解，心口還被針刺般隱隱作痛。雖然如此，他卻大方地拍一下老朋友的肩膀，表示不在意。下了車，他陪老關進旅館，要了房間鎖匙，直送到樓梯口。 你下回來美國前，早點通知，我們好好地聚一聚。 是，我還會來的，到時老朋友都要聚一聚。 握別後，少勇駕車回城。這回，路上車輛稀少，海風也消聲匿跡，正是高速駕駛而不必耽心警車追踪的時刻。他卻反而慢慢地開。腦子裏亂哄哄的，但感覺上又是空白一片。 民主和法制 文盲加流氓 他憤憤不平地搖㨪下腦袋，由鼻孔裏噴出一口氣。拿手搖下一頁車窗。濕潤的晨風迎面撲來，涼而不寒。瞥一眼窗外，他想：明天，不，今天了，會有好天氣吧。 （《八方》文藝叢刊一九八○年九月）