Chapter 7 towards the other side of the pacific

As soon as the calendar card was turned over to February, Lin Yizhen's mood became excited day by day.The Lunar New Year is approaching, and it is the first time for the mother and son to spend it alone. She is thinking about how to celebrate. In the first Chinese New Year in the 1980s, Yizhen thought so, no matter what she had to live in a decent way, it was both traditional and refreshing, so it was a good omen. She borrowed a two-tiered steamer from Mrs. Wu, a Taiwanese fellow in the apartment, searched for recipes, and planned to steam rice cakes and radish cakes.In order to purchase materials, I also asked my niece Lina to drive a car and sent her to Chinatown in San Francisco.I have never steamed cakes before. In order to explore the experience, I often tried a few times with the recipe and a bunch of measuring cups after dinner.

When it was steamed for the first time, there was a sticky lump of lumps, and Yi Zhen shook his head. Well, too much water, put less next time. She is not discouraged.Two days later, I made rice noodles again and was very busy. The two sons are busy with homework and can't help them. Seeing their mother working so hard, they all persuade her to give up. Mom, we don't particularly want these cakes.Do as the Romans do when you enter the country. We are in the United States, so we can do whatever we want during Chinese New Year. The boss Su Tai said so. He is 21 years old this year. He studied English and high school homework for three years before entering San Jose University to study electrical engineering last fall.He is the oldest freshman in his class, and he works hard because of his strength.I usually live in school, and I can’t let go of the book when I come back on weekends, but when I see my mother is busy, I always rush to help.Since his father passed away, this child has been very considerate of his mother and actively participated in everything; he has always been shy and reticent, but now he looks even more mature.

The second child, Su Zhong, also said: During the Chinese New Year, just like we used to do in Beijing, we can make dumplings and eat them.Um? Su Zhong is more than two years younger than Su Tai, has a lively and alert personality, and has always had excellent academic performance.He is a senior in high school at the local San Mateo High School and is applying for college, and he is also working hard. Of course you have to eat dumplings, it’s a tradition in Beijing. Yizhen knows what the child wants, so instead of shrinking back, she is very ambitious. I also want to learn how to make carrot cake.It's home-cooked, it's delicious, and your grandma loved it the most.

When it comes to grandma, the children are speechless. In the Su family, the old lady is the most authoritative.He is in his early seventies and has lived in the countryside of Taichung for most of his life.Occasionally, when I come to live in the United States, I am picky in every possible way, always complaining that life is not as friendly and interesting as Taiwan, and telling everyone to go back to their hometowns.Because she was widowed at a young age, she raised her two sons after untold hardships. The eldest, Deming, went into business, and the second, Deqing, was sent to England to study medicine.Drinking water and remembering the source, people in the Su family think that she has made great achievements through hard work, and they all respect and love her.

Deqing and Yizhen's family left China in the name of visiting relatives in the spring of 1976, and went to the United States to join their brothers and sisters-in-law.The mother and son have not been together for thirty years, and the old lady came here specially to meet them.Poor Deqing was terminally ill at that time, and he passed away the next year.The old lady loved the two grandchildren very much, and she couldn't get enough of them, and she never mentioned moving back to Taiwan for a long-term stay. In the past, the Chinese New Year was always held at Deming's house, when the three generations live together, it will be lively.It was the old lady's idea to leave this time, and it meant to let Yizhen stand on her own.Yizhen understood her thoughts, and worked harder to learn a few home-town dim sum to please the elderly.

Make these cakes first this year, and invite grandma to celebrate the New Year with us next year! After speaking, Yizhen picked up the measuring cup again, looked down at the recipe, and was about to start over.She has taught soil analysis in China for more than ten years, and she has long honed her patience. Mom, please invite Uncle Qiao to celebrate the New Year, too? The boss suggested to her. OK, I'll ask him tomorrow. Yizhen had long wanted to invite Qiao Jianguang to her home for the New Year, but now the boss proposed it first, which shows that this child is sensible, and his heart is touched for a while.

Uncle Qiao is from Shandong and eats steamed buns. The second child had an idea and came up with an idea. Do we want authentic Shandong steamed buns?Uncle Qiao said that he hated the soft cotton pillows in restaurants the most. As soon as the boss heard it, he was eager to try it. Mom, let me steam the buns.In those two years when I went to the countryside, I didn’t learn anything else well, but making steamed buns was pretty sure! I'll knead the dough for you, the second child talked more and more vigorously, the steamed buns should be garnished with big red dates, and the steamed buns should be as big as rice bowls to be magnificent.

Okay, let's have another eight-treasure rice for dessert, to surprise Uncle Qiao! The child is so willing to work hard for Uncle Qiao, which shows that he is grateful and grateful, which comforts the mother even more. In the United States, they only have Qiao Jianguang as their best friend.He taught law at Golden Gate University and served as a legal consultant for Deming Import and Export Company in his spare time.In the early 1970s, when he traveled to China, Dai Deming went to investigate the whereabouts of Deqing's family.Later, they assisted them to leave China; after arriving in the United States, they tried to help them apply for immigration status.After Deqing passed away, he cared very much for his two children, loving them like his own.Last summer, he took his son to Canada for skiing, and he also brought the two brothers of the Su family.The two brothers admired his knowledge and insights, and always consulted him about school choices and future plans.When Uncle Qiao said something, the two of them would never think of something.

Isn't his son coming back for the New Year? Su Zhong suddenly asked. No way.Yizhen said: He is in Chicago, how can he make it back from such a long distance?What's more, he grew up in the United States and is completely Americanized. I'm afraid he is only Chinese. He celebrates Christmas, and Su Tai said that it is also our Spring Festival. That is, the same grand and traditional. She dared not mention that Uncle Qiao spent Christmas at an American friend's house last year.Jianguang has been divorced for many years, and his son takes turns visiting relatives during holidays.Last Christmas it was his mom's turn, so dad only got him one phone call.Yizhen is not used to such frequent divorces in American families and the lack of family ties.She was afraid that her children would be affected, so she avoided talking about it.

The festive atmosphere instigated by the mother was finally transmitted to the children, so everyone was excited and busy for the New Year.By the day before New Year's Eve, steamed buns and sweet and salty rice cakes were all steamed, which was quite successful.Yizhen picked up a copy of each item, calculated Mr. Wu's working time, and delivered it to Mrs. Wu herself. You are so capable, Mrs. Su! Mrs. Wu was full of praise, and repeatedly invited Yizhen to sit in. I still have something to do, so I won't sit down today.The steamer will be returned to you after the Chinese New Year.

Don't rush to return it, I won't be using it anytime soon.But at this point, Mrs. Wu paused, and made a request with some embarrassment: The faucet in our bathroom can't be turned off tightly, and the shower head in the bathroom is also dripping until dawn. Can someone come to fix it? Okay, I'll ask Su Zhong to fix it first, and if it doesn't work, I'll call a leadsmith. This apartment is Deming's property, and Yizhen's mother and son live in a three-bedroom unit.Due to being taken care of by Deming too much, Yizhen took care of the eight-unit apartment building without any shirking, such as cleaning the common walkway, mowing the lawn, watering, changing light bulbs, etc., just like a manager, except that she didn't collect the rent on her behalf. Except for the Wu family, the other tenants are all Americans, and the moving rate is not high, but they have never been in contact with each other.It has been almost four years since Yizhen's family lived in this apartment when they came to the United States, but China's good-neighborliness seems to be ineffective here.When they bumped into each other head-on, they nodded and smiled at each other, and this hi summed up all interpersonal relationships. At first, I communicated with the Wu family for a while.As a fellow countryman, the local accent sounds kind.But the friendship was soon clouded by Mr Wu's political extremes.He believes that Taiwanese have been oppressed by mainlanders for a long time, and only political independence can permanently rid them of the fate of being oppressed.Deming supported the Taiwan government very much, but was unceremoniously ridiculed by Mr. Wu as a rightist behind his back; Yizhen's mother and son came from the mainland, but they were not as anti-communist as he expected, and he was gradually called a leftist to his face.In Mr. Wu's eyes, leftist Taiwanese are more hopeless than rightist Taiwanese.Yizhen couldn't figure out if she was allergic, but every time she met him, she always found a mixture of anger, pity and contempt in his eyes.The brothers were unconvinced and often argued with him, but she herself would rather avoid him. The Wu family was a tenant, so Yizhen didn't dare to be slow, so she asked Su Zhong to check that night.He replaced the rubber ring inside the faucet and the problem was solved immediately.But the bathroom lotus is more complicated, and I don't know how to repair it myself.The next day, Yizhen made an appointment with a leadsmith to repair it, and at the same time notified her sister-in-law Zhao'e.My sister-in-law is in charge of all matters related to rent and expenses. I'll bring rice cakes later.Yizhen tells her by the way. Oh, cabbage cake or something, are they all ready?Don't run away, Ah Zhen, I'll get it myself. I'm about to go out. Soon, Zhao'e arrived in a Penchi.Yizhen lives downstairs, and from the window she caught a glimpse of her getting out of the car with bags in her hands, so she rushed out to greet her. Did you go shopping early in the morning? Yizhen helped her carry a bag. I bought it as a New Year's gift for my two children. Well, don't keep sending them away, you've spoiled them! It is a sincere protest that I feel ashamed of my chastity. For Chinese New Year, it is Taiwan's usual practice to refresh the whole body.Hey, the size is wrong, here, if you are free, accompany them to exchange. It was only a short distance from the parking lot to the living room, and Zhao'e was already out of breath.She is short and fat, and she is wearing a lake-green silk dress today. The tight-fitting skirt makes her two round sections, and she looks like a new gourd that goes on the market in Beijing in summer.Coupled with the four-inch patent leather high-heeled shoes, the gait is precarious and dangerous, so it is no wonder that as soon as he gets close to the sofa, he immediately leans down. Yizhen made tea, poured a cup for her, and sat opposite her. How is mother-in-law? It's not the same!When it comes to the New Year's Eve, the chatter and chatter are particularly orderly.Thank you for making these rice cakes this year, saving me a trip to Chinatown.In fact, no one ate it, even she seldom tasted it, but there must be one thing, otherwise it would be like treating her badly.Alas, you are so particular, you should go back to Taiwan for the New Year! Old people are the most conservative about customs and habits, especially those who live abroad. Yizhen sympathizes with both parties, and reminds her of her mother. My mom used to be pretty much the same way.At that time, there were many Taiwanese people in Tokyo, and every family made cakes and sent them to each other during the New Year and holidays.My family always collects a lot of them, all kinds of them, and I still can’t think of those tricks when I make them myself! In the two years since I first arrived in the United States, I was really greedy for Taiwanese snacks!Zhao'e smacked her lips as she spoke.At that time, I had to travel to Chinatown every week to survive.Well, I have lived here for sixteen years, and I am no longer indifferent!If you really want to eat, isn’t it easy to go back to Taiwan? Yizhen smiled and said nothing, feeling really envious.In the past two years, she wanted to go back to her hometown, and she had visited countless times in her dreams, and visited all the graves of her ancestors, but so far she couldn't make it.First, he waited to get his permanent residence permit, and then Deming went back to find out what the authorities said.Finally got news last year.So I went through the formalities in mid-November, and planned to accompany my mother-in-law back to Taichung for a short stay at the end of the year, and then return to the United States after the Lunar New Year.Unexpectedly, the Kaohsiung incident broke out on December 10, and the Taiwan government arrested non-Party democrats on a large scale. There was a sudden panic on the island, and the trip was delayed. Zhao'e guessed what was on her mind, and comforted her by saying: It's fine for you to go back to Taiwan.Deming came back from Taipei last week and said that the situation is still unclear, and you'd better wait until the trial of the whole case is over before going back.At that time, the world was peaceful, and you could play everywhere.Not now, they are still arresting people!My nephew was just arrested and interrogated for three days, but fortunately he was released, almost killing the whole family! Why are you arresting him?Did he also go to the parade in Kaohsiung? Hey, I was wronged!He was dragged to listen to a public lecture organized by Formosa Magazine in Nantou, long before the Kaohsiung incident.At that time, he was a little vigilant, so he parked the car far away and walked for half an hour to the scene.In the end, the car was still copied!The Criminal Police Corps wants to ask about his relationship with Formosa Island.What do you think it will matter?A businessman was dragged to listen to a speech because he was curious, but he asked him for three days! Zhao'e has a flat and round face, with slender eyebrows and small eyes, and a tall steamed hair style.In order to cover up the dark skin, thick white powder is applied, and the whole face looks light and straight, like a mask in a Japanese drama.Only when I am excited like this moment, with thin eyebrows and tall, small eyes wide open, and the traces of age breaking through the blockade of white powder and extending like a net, can the facial expression change and be full of life for a while. It was the first time Yizhen saw her sister-in-law so angry.It's nothing to do with her, and she hangs high. Zhao'e was not interested in these political events before.She only regrets that the vast majority of those arrested are Taiwanese, but it is said that these people are unwilling to keep their own status, and it is probably their own fault.This time her nephew was harmed for no reason, and she was aware of the scope of the incident, so she was indignant. Yizhen gets a similar inspiration and thinks of her nephew whom she has never met.Are their mother and child safe? When Yizhen was eleven years old, she went to Japan with her parents to do business.At that time, both elder brother Yiwei and younger brother Yilie stayed in Tainan with their grandmother.Later, she went to Beijing to study at university, but soon her parents died of illness in Japan, and she lost contact with her brothers.This time when I went to the United States, I met my younger brother Yi Lie, and only then did I know that my brother once failed to run for the city council, and was imprisoned for eight years for alleged rebellion.The sister-in-law and only son are still alive, but they do not want to correspond with her.This made Yizhen very sad.She was anxious to go back to Taiwan, but also to visit her sister-in-law's family. Don't be angry, she comforted her sister-in-law and said: It's very lucky to let it go.I just hope my nephew is safe this time around. When Deming returns next time, ask him to inquire for you. Is Deming busy with business?Haven't seen him for a while. There is no time when you are not busy!There are entertainments outside almost every day, and the house is almost becoming his hotel! Yizhen smiled sympathetically, knowing that her sister-in-law only dared to complain behind her back, but she was as docile as a sheep in front of her husband. You have nothing to fear in America! She cheers up her sister-in-law. There are no Wu wives like you mentioned in Taiwan, right?Since there are no public nuisance factors, there will be no public nuisance phenomenon.We've been married for thirty years, you're still sour, it shows how good your relationship is! Zhao'e giggled triumphantly, but couldn't help complaining again: Hey, Taipei's extravagant sensuality, you don't know how captivating men are!Didn't Deming just come back?They are talking about what kind of contract they are going to sign in summer! Yizhen listened to her tone, as if she wished she could tie her husband with a rope.She suspected that Zhao'e was a little too nervous.Perhaps Deming had a criminal record in Taiwan, but he was too embarrassed to ask.Every time he wants to go back to Taiwan, Zhao'e is always worried. You are so worried, why don't you go with him? How can I speak up!After asking a few more questions, he already put on an angry face.The mother-in-law also spoke for him: You go too, who will take care of the family?Listen, I deserve to serve their Su family all my life! Don't worry, when Lina gets married, you love to follow Deming closely, who has anything to say? Forget about Lena, you piss me off all day!I just introduced a boyfriend to her, and after going out to play twice, I blow it! how?Is that Paul? Yes, Paul Wan.Lina thinks that he is not knowledgeable, and she smells of copper all over her body. She just got a degree from Stanford University, so she is so proud of herself!Raising a daughter in the United States is useless! Yizhen remembered meeting Paul Wan for a while, he looked okay, but he looked arrogant, like he was rich and proud of his youth.Yizhen is not pleasing to the eye, no wonder Lina thinks he is vulgar.It is said that the other party is Deming's Cantonese friend, the only son of a wealthy San Francisco businessman.Deming himself liked it, but Yizhen was unwilling to express his opinion anyway. Lina has just graduated from university and is still young. There are many Chinese here, so just look for it slowly. No matter how anxious I am, I can't compare to the old lady's urgent way!In the past few years, she has been sitting here because she is afraid that Lena will be robbed by the Americans.Every time Lina went out with American boys, she pouted her lips half the sky high, her face was black and gloomy, as if someone owed her a debt and didn't pay it back. Yizhen knows that the three members of the uncle's family are worried about their daughter's marriage.Although Zhao'e blamed her daughter for not knowing how to flatter her, in fact she doted on her the most and had always been obedient.Because the eldest daughter married an American and lived in the East, it is rare to see her once a year.The mother-in-law and Deming were afraid that the second child would also marry a foreigner, so they racked their brains to introduce Chinese boys to her. At first, they restricted themselves and only introduced young talents from Taiwan.After playing it a few times, I was forced to break the boundaries of provinces and regions, just to have a similar cultural background and a little familiarity with the language.This Wan Baobao, as I remembered from before, could only stammer a few words in Mandarin, and all the conversations with Lina were in English. Ah Zhen, you have only been in the United States for four years, and your son is busy studying now, so you don't have to worry about it.When the time comes for them to fall in love, hey, you can watch it then, it will bother you! The sister-in-law chatted for a while before Zhao'e got up.Yizhen made some rice cakes for her, and brought two steamed buns inlaid with red dates for her mother-in-law to taste. Before Zhao'e drove away, she reminded her loudly: The first day of the new year is coming, waiting for you to have dinner. Zhao'e said that Yizhen can stop worrying about her son's marriage for the time being.But after she woke up from this point, Yizhen actually had something on her mind. If you live in the United States for a long time, it is difficult to guarantee that the next generation will not intermarry with other races.Lena's sister is the best example.What can we do if we really get to that point?Not only the survivors of the Su family have to feel sorry, but wouldn't it be sad if Deqing knew about it? Deqing loves China so much and is always proud of the Chinese people.In the 1950s, when he finished his studies at the beginning of his studies, he rushed back from England to participate in the construction of new China, and he never thought of settling down in a foreign country.The ten-year perversion of the Cultural Revolution broke his heart and destroyed his health.For the sake of the future of the child, he went abroad due to illness.Even so, he never forgot China when he was dying. To strive for the best education for his children, he told Yizhen not to forget to be Chinese. If both of them marry foreigners in the future, how can I tell Deqing? This question has been lingering in her mind until the children came back from school one after another in the afternoon and got busy preparing for the New Year's Eve dinner, and then she forgot it. Celebrating New Year in California doesn't have the atmosphere of celebrating New Year in China. Su Tai said in a regretful tone while tidying up the living room. Why?Mom poked her head out of the kitchen and asked. The weather alone is not right, every day is sunny and sunny.Without winter, there is no loveliness of spring.We used to celebrate New Year in Beijing when we were young, either it was freezing cold or the north wind was fierce.At that time, the family baked rice cakes around the stove, which was really warm and joyful.If you are happy, set off firecrackers at the door and drop by everywhere, how lively! Su Zhong stopped mixing dumpling stuffing and expressed regret: it's really meaningless to have a meal here during the Chinese New Year.Grandma said that Taiwan can pay attention to Chinese New Year!In the first three days, I got busy, worshiping the kitchen god of heaven and earth, there are so many tricks!It is said that I will be busy until the fifth day of the new year.There are famous halls every day, and women have to go out to burn incense, and those who get married have to go back to their natal homes.Grandma said, let us all go back to Taiwan next year to celebrate the New Year! Yes, we all strive to go back to Taiwan to reunite with your cousin once! Yizhen encouraged and comforted her son, while praying silently in her heart, hoping that the day of reunion would come one day. Uncle Job arrived at half past six. Yizhen took off her apron and put on a plain dress and a Chinese-style jacket with purple flowers on a black background.She combed her short hair in the style of vermicelli in clear soup.Deqing liked her to comb her hair short, and she got used to it naturally. His sister-in-law persuaded her to perm her hair several times, but she was unwilling to change her hairstyle.Now when I look in the mirror, I find that my face is a little pale, and with the straight hair style, my face looks so monotonous and boring.New Year's Eve, she thought, there should be some joy.Just as he was hesitating what to do, he heard the doorbell ring.When her son answered the door, she hastily dabbed some rouge on the palm of her hand, kneaded it well, and then massaged it on her cheeks until her face flushed and harmonized with the natural rosy double-layered color, and then she put on half a rouge. High-heeled shoes, hurried out to meet the guests. I can't do anything else, but when it comes to making dumplings, I'm good at rolling them! Qiao Jianguang is recommending himself to the children.As he spoke, he took off his suit jacket and prepared to roll up his white shirt sleeves and start working. After Yizhen exchanged pleasantries with him, she saw three gifts carefully wrapped in colored paper and ribbons on the sofa, she couldn't help but frowned and protested softly: Old Qiao, why are you so polite, you bring something every time you come back, it will be fine if this continues! Chinese New Year. At this moment, he was suddenly enlightened, and quickly took out an envelope from the pocket of his suit that he had taken off, and gave it to Su Tai. This is lucky money for you.Sorry, I didn't have time to go to Chinatown to find the red envelope. Su Tai blushed slightly and refused to accept it. We are all so old, Uncle Qiao, I am sorry to take the New Year's money again. If you are not married, you are still a child in our eyes. Qiao Jianguang looks gentle and elegant, but he always says little and does what he says.So once he insisted, it was hard for mother and child to give in.Yi Zhen respectfully placed the envelope and the gift on the TV. Please sit down, old Joe, I'll make some tea. Stop rambling, I just had tea with some students.Here, your dumpling fillings are ready, so let me roll the skins.Who wants to meet? I come.Su Tai said. The dining room is a continuation of the living room and communicates with the kitchen.It was rare for Old Qiao to be so eager to try, and really rolled up his sleeves to show off his skills, which aroused everyone's interest first.So everyone flocked to the dining table. The dining table has a plastic surface, so I used a wooden board with a towel under it, and when I got out, I asked Lao Qiao to roll the leather on the wooden board.While her son makes dumplings, she takes care of the kitchen by herself, doing chores back and forth. Su Tai, are you busy with your homework?Do you feel tired? fine. Qiao Jianguang asked about Su Tai's homework for a while, and he was very happy to know that he could keep up.He strongly recommended Su Tai to enroll. As long as you can handle your homework, you can ask girls out to play when you have time. Su Tai smiled shyly, lowered his head to make dumplings, and said nothing. Old Qiao said this, half with encouragement, and half with a relaxed and joking tone, but he glanced at the child's mother. Ask Uncle Qiao to introduce his girlfriend. Answer with Sadayo's son. Old Joe agreed with a smile. Yizhen found that old Qiao was very talkative today, and his eyes were shining brightly under the gold-rimmed glasses, revealing excitement, even excitement. She wondered to herself, did old Qiao encounter any happy event?Could it be that the school gave him a promotion or a raise?Out of sincere respect for him, this doubt can only be pressed tightly in my heart like a cork of boiling water. Qiao Jianguang is fifty-five years old this year. He is tall and has gained weight in his middle age. His body looks plump. He keeps from being bloated by playing tennis regularly.The long round face was tanned, and the wrinkles were carved deeper.I don't know whether it's because people who practice law use their brains too much, or it's the sequelae of a failed marriage. He looks prematurely aged, his temples have turned white, and his forehead has become bald and has become a horseshoe.Sometimes when the brows are frowned and the lips are drawn into a line, it is completely sanctimonious. Today, Lao Qiao actually persuaded him to date a girl. This was the most surprising thing to Yizhen.He himself has been divorced for ten years, and the Demings have matched him up several times, but to no avail. This, Zhao'e once complained to Yizhen, all blame Qiao Jianguang himself.The woman is very interesting, every time he retreats!I think he was tortured by his former wife.Now I regard marriage as dreadful, it seems that I am afraid that I will be single for the rest of my life! Lao Qiao's ex-wife was a native overseas Chinese. It was said that she was beautiful, but she was suspicious and jealous.The strange thing is that after the divorce, the woman calmed down, worked normally, and did her mother's duty in raising her son.Two years ago, I married a retired American professor. There is no fate, you can’t force it. This is Zhao'e's conclusion. Uncle Qiao, are there many female students in your class? Su Zhong asked him, stretching out his arm to catch the dumpling wrapper he threw over.The two brothers packed quickly, and the supply of Old Joe was already in short supply. Hey, it's pitifully small!American girls do not want to study law, because it is difficult to find a job after graduation.The legal profession is discriminatory against women. How about Taiwan? Not too much.The rate of female students is higher than in the United States, but the employment rate is also low. Mainland is better.Su Zhong said.I received a letter a few days ago that a female junior high school student was admitted to the Law Department of Renmin University last year.I think she will be a judge in the future. Old Qiao was very interested when he heard this, and found out the name of his classmate on the spot. Yizhen boiled a large pot of water on the stove, and prepared the dumplings when the water boiled.She sat down next to Old Joe, helped cut the noodles, and rolled them into balls for him. Let me tell you a news. Old Qiao suddenly stopped rolling the dough, and while wiping the rolling pin with dry flour, he announced calmly: I decided to go back to China to teach. The mother and son of the Su family were stunned, all six eyes were staring at him, unable to figure out what he meant for a moment. Qiao Jianguang has been to China twice.When I went there for the first time, the Su family was still in Beijing, that was in 1974.Last year, he accompanied a group of lawyers and law professors on a visit to the West Coast.He criticizes China more than he praises it, but never in words or in public speeches. When he came back last year, he once said: Some areas in China, such as self-confidence and public morality, are worse than those in the Gang of Four era!When I went there before, the slogan was that the whole country should learn from the People’s Liberation Army, but this time it has become that the whole country should learn from the United States! All right, why did he think of going back to China to teach? The news hit Yizhen like a thunderbolt, and she was flustered for a while, but she still tried to inquire calmly: Is it a short lecture? Not too short.go for a year. Everyone seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Su Zhong said frankly: Fortunately, it was only a year, I just thought you would not come back anymore! Old Qiao smiled, looked at the rolling pin in his hand, and said in a cautious tone: If the work goes well and is meaningful, maybe I can teach you a little longer.Let's take a look first. Yizhen's heart tightened again.Old Qiao actually seemed to have the intention of returning, and it was strange that he didn't know anything about it beforehand. I didn't expect you to go back to China. She told the truth, I thought that if you want to go back, you will also go back to Taiwan. Lao Qiao often goes to Taiwan, where there are many of his classmates and friends.Regarding Taiwan's economic prosperity and democratic movement, he has always praised more than criticized.Over the past 30 years, Taiwan has achieved more than the mainland.This is the same view as he and Deming. When Taiwan was mentioned this time, Old Qiao turned his head slightly, and continued to roll the leather. Taiwan does not need legal talents.There are a lot of talents there, and the level is also first-class. He took a matter-of-fact tone, calmly and slowly, as if he was lecturing in a classroom. The problem in Taiwan is whether the government has the determination and sincerity to promote democracy and the rule of law.The mainland was different; thirty years of isolation and self-destruction were, as far as the law was concerned, a wasteland.There is an urgent need for legal knowledge and the concept of the rule of law.Last year, we had discussions with responsible cadres of Peking University, Renmin University of China, and the School of Political Science and Law. We also visited schools and exchanged views with faculty members.I was very impressed by their eagerness for talents.Since I got back, I have been thinking about it and only recently made a decision. It turned out that Lao Qiao was invited to give lectures on international law in Beijing last year.It just so happened that it was his turn to take a year off in the next school year, so after much deliberation, he finally made up his mind to go back and teach for a year. Uncle Qiao, I bet you that Su Zhong said: After living here for a year, you must be eager to return to America! Yeah? Old Qiao smiled and asked Su Tai: What do you think? Su Tai, who had been silent all this time, answered honestly: I don't know. One year is very short, I will definitely come back and tell you my impressions. Old Joe deliberately said it lightly and cheerfully. A year is indeed not a long time.Yizhen agrees with his words, but there is an inexplicable sense of loss, even trepidation.Since entering middle age, she has known the specific meaning of the passage of time, and even more aware of the true meaning of its disappearance.Old Qiao is the best friend in the family, whether it is for the children to go to school or for English tutoring, you can rely on him for everything.Now he's leaving, but coming back in a year? I also went back when I was young, and the spirit of going forward is still very pure and romantic when I think about it.Although I went through ups and downs in the future, I didn't regret it, it was just infinite sentimentality.This may be like a girl's first love, recalling it, there will always be such a faint sweetness. One year is very short, and you must have a good time and make achievements. Yizhen first made a prediction.As he spoke, a sentence came out unconsciously: Even I want to go back and see. real? Old Qiao was bending over and lowering his head to roll the leather.Immediately stopped the operation, half turned around and asked her seriously. Facing his strong body, the thin Yizhen was like facing a mountain, especially under his golden spectacles, which made her feel like a defendant in court, and she couldn't help feeling timid when she was questioned by the judge. guilty conscience. She intentionally avoided the other party's gaze, and asked the children instead: Do you want to go back to China? The boss was concentrating on pinching the dumplings, the corners of his mouth were slightly opened, and his face was serious, as if he was thinking deeply. This child is more and more like his dead father, Yizhen finds out that it is easy to keep his emotions secret. The second child has already answered loudly: Of course not going back!So hard to run out, why go back?No matter what happens in the United States, it is better than in China!Mom is kidding! Take it with a smile.She never looked up, but judging from Old Joe's silent hands rolling the leather, he was probably a little disappointed. After a while, Su Tai spoke, his voice was low and slow, which seemed to be the result of careful consideration. The United States is very free, but this kind of freedom can be enjoyed on the land of China, that is true happiness.I think it is best to go back to China if there is a chance.However, going back now, I thought it was boring.To carry out the four modernizations, one must have some ability to go back. The second child stubbornly insisted: I will not go back if I have the ability! He simply gave up on making dumplings, and looked around at everyone, with an air of being ready to raise the bar to the end. Didn't Dad have the ability to go back in the past?he asked his brother.The first-class thoracic surgery, how many people have been saved, when the Cultural Revolution came, I rushed down to cultivate the land with a big hoe, and I wanted to ask him to kill pigs and goats during the festivals. Ah Zhong, let's not mention the past. Yizhen gently interrupted her son's words.On New Year's Eve, why mention these sad things? At this time, the leather was all rolled out.Old Qiao put down his stick, brushed off the flour from his hands, and sat down too. The Chinese always want to do things for China. He said to Su Zhong persuadingly: Of course, this also depends on the timing and cannot be forced. Su Zhong still shook his head and resisted: Our family has done enough, and we have had enough!Dad was labeled as a British spy, and my mother was a Japanese spy.Where are our brothers?Becoming children who can be educated is a propaganda slogan, which means that there is no cure!Our whole family has been farming.Dad came out only when he was terminally ill, and died outside. Hey, even the medical expenses have saved China a fortune.To be honest, we do not owe China love, but China owes us! He talked on and on, without being challenged or contradicted. In the end, it’s a mother’s job to smooth things over: the country and the individual, like parents and children, can’t tell who owes whom.Ah Zhong, no one wants you to go back, don't be nervous. You can cook dumplings. Old Joe reminded the hostess. But no, the water vapor in the kitchen has come out of the door. So mother and son divide the work, the older brother takes care of cooking dumplings and steaming steamed buns; the mother cuts meat and stir-fry vegetables.The younger brother sat with Uncle Qiao in the living room, talking about his application for college.He applied to eight or nine universities, but there is no news yet. The young man is impatient and has been waiting anxiously.Every time I see Uncle Qiao, the topic of discussion is always inseparable from the advantages and disadvantages of these universities. Qiao Jianguang is nicknamed a gourmet, because he often travels and has tasted delicacies from mountains and seas almost everywhere, so it is easy not to praise other people's cooking skills.But he seems to be lenient with Yizhen, he comes to have a few light meals on rare occasions, and he always wants to praise him or her. Today, Old Qiao was full of praise, which flattered the three of them, mother and son. I haven't tasted this big steamed bun with red dates for decades, it's really well done!You brothers are good at making pasta! Su Zhong said: Uncle Qiao likes it, just let me know, and I will make it for you at any time. There are some left, do you want to take them away?Yizhen’s suggestion: When you want to eat, just steam it with a rice cooker. Qiao Jianguang readily accepted. After dinner, everyone chatted in the living room.Around ten o'clock, just as Qiao Jianguang got up to say goodbye, the phone rang. Su Zhong went to pick him up, talked for a few words, and called his mother to listen. Uncle's phone call. Yizhen apologized to the guest and said: I'm sorry, Lin Yilie and I will come just after a few words. Old Joe waved his hand and sat down again. Hello, sister, how are you all? With strong and vigorous baritone Taiwanese, the sister feels like she is in her hometown. very good.And you?Where are you celebrating the new year? Eat hot pot at a friend's house.what about you? eat dumplings. Well, Chinese style. Yizhen does not show weakness: Do you eat Japanese hot pot? The brother's laughter came from the receiver. Ariel, is your work going well in your company? fine.Haven't been fired yet. When can I come here to play?You said you would come, it's been two years In March.I have a week's vacation, and I happen to have something to do in the San Francisco area. Yizhen bit her lip, and endured not to ask him, is there any personal business to do in San Francisco? Well, what's the news for you leftists? No.What about Taiwan independence? Or demonstrations.We always fight alone, and we fail repeatedly. Hello, this is Mao Zedong's quotations! The other party made two more hey heys, but couldn't tell if it was a wry smile or a sneer. How about their Jiang Gang? Because of Su Deming's conservative political thinking, and because of his business relationship, Lin Yilie often travels to Taiwan and establishes friendship with certain political figures, so he has always been named as a member of the Chiang gang.In the past, a reactionary adjective was added, but the older sister defended the uncle several times before removing the word. Now that the Kaohsiung incident is going to be court-martialed, and Taiwan’s democratic elites have been wiped out, the Chiang gang is very proud, right? You are wrong, no one gloats.Yilie, you can't generalize like that.Everything has a process of objective understanding and awakening.My sister-in-law complained about her nephew being arrested by the police for three days this afternoon! 以烈聽完昭娥侄子的故事後，冷笑了一聲，說：這跟你們大陸上搞政治運動有什麼兩樣？順藤摸瓜，打擊一大片！國民黨學得好，中共正嘉許哩！ How do you see it? 國民黨說這些民主人士是陰謀叛亂，要搞台獨，因此血腥鎮壓。中共沒有什麼特別表示，這就是承認和默許。snort!台灣人再對大陸存有幻想，那就瞎了眼睛！ 以烈，你不要這麼偏激。這麼悲觀 恰恰相反，我們受迫害的沒有悲觀的權利，我們只有鬥爭！ 以貞默默搖頭嘆氣。改問了他一些飲食起居的情況，才把電話掛斷。 她想把自己的憂傷隱藏起來，因此強掙出一朵笑容走回來送客。 老喬再度起身，以同情的口吻說： 林以烈變得很激烈吧，他是不是參加了台灣建國聯盟？ 以貞點點頭，不知說什麼好。 我舅舅上次來看我們的時候，已經放棄了台獨的主張。這次高雄事件，不知怎麼又把他逼上梁山。 蘇台為舅舅惋惜，年青的臉也罩上了一層霜。 蘇中不以為然地搭腔道：舅舅太傻了，明知不可為而為，何必呢？ 以貞沒有心腸責備弟弟，只輕聲糾正兒子：他不是傻。實在是中國令他失望。 老喬有意緩和這種沉悶的氣氛，乃帶著欽佩的口氣說： 無論如何，林以烈是固執得悲壯！ 以貞頷首苦笑。 我們台灣人一直都很悲壯。 送走了客人，兒子幫媽媽收拾了一番，就分頭就寢。 以貞獨坐在客廳裏。她手支著下巴，眼睛平視著空白寂靜的電視機，身子動也不動，有如老僧入定。 她沒有守歲的習慣，但這個除夕，自己竟然沒有一點睡意。白天的事，晚上的事，有如倒演電影，一一在腦中映現。其中，喬健光要去中國的消息成了特寫鏡頭。它帶給以貞的震撼，似乎到更深夜靜的這一刻，才逐漸展示威力。 老喬要去大陸，這個消息本身便勾起以貞多少往事。記憶有如陳年舊箱，一經開啟，便要抖個水落石出。四十五年的歲月不短，回憶其中的時空變化，不免如滄海桑田，說不盡的離亂和傷感。想到自己由台灣到日本，由日本而中國；結婚生子；文革使得一家離散四方，陷入絕望；沒想到喬健光尋找到他們，忽然有一天來到了美國；更沒想到丈夫會在這裏撒手西歸。人生若是旅途，那麼，下一站在那裏呢？she asked herself. 夜凍如水，她一直坐到手足冰冷，渾身起了抖戰，才回到自己房裏。疲倦不堪地，她把自己投到寬大的雙人床上，睜著眼，守候到天亮。 第二天一早，蘇台乘巴士回校去。等蘇中也上了學，以貞打電話向幸運超級市場請假。一夜未眠，她覺得頭重腳輕，不能勝任連站四小時的收賬工作。 其實，不能勝任是自己給自己找藉口；不想幹才是事實。她每週三天在超級市場當四小時出納員，賺點外快，也兼打發掉手上過多的時間。婆婆和德明並不要她出去工作，他們和喬健光一樣，都勸她學好英語，慢慢再找合適的工作。但合適工作難找，而以貞是工作慣了的人，閒不住。另外，有點收入多少也減輕一點寄人籬下的自卑感。堂堂的大學講師，跑到美國來站櫃枱，自己在五七幹校打過滾，並不在乎，但大伯和婆婆眼前便不能啟口。 勞動改造也有好處，她相信，它有些地方與美國的勞動神聖觀念相似把勞動當作打擊知識份子的手段自然另當別論。兩個兒子下過農村也有受益，現在便特別珍惜上學的機會，也懂得自力更生的意義。蘇台正在申請下學年工讀的名額；蘇中也打算進大學後，就找機會工作。大伯有錢供他們讀書。但他們都希望能早日自食其力。 以貞今天卻對櫃枱工作感到索然無味。 這種無味的感覺在讀完北京的來信後，更加升級為慚愧和迷惑。 郵差照例十點左右來派信。以貞在打掃走道，郵差看到她，先挑出一封信來。 蘇太太，你有一封中國來的信。那郵票真漂亮呀！ 謝謝，我會剪下來留給你。 她知道是老同學姚萍寄來的。於是擱下掃把，接了信先回屋裏展讀。 姚萍是農業大學裏與她通訊不斷的同事，常常告訴以貞學校裏的近況，北京的消息等。如今，它成為以貞和中國唯一的連繫了。 當初一家四口離開中國時，藉口是德清要到美國探親就醫。農大上下都猜測以貞不會再回來了，但校方仍舊算她請假，不是離職。 剛自幹校回來的老書記對她說： 你是我們培養的學生，在農大也是出色的教師，今天不得已離開崗位，是我們的過失和損失。不過，母校永遠歡迎你回來，職位保留，工資依舊。你有什麼事，請儘管和我們連繫。 出來以後，德清的病證明回生乏術。以貞悲傷無已，也無暇它顧，於是整個把大學丟在腦後。後來德清去世，她才給姚萍寫了封信，提到家中的變故。不料這封信竟引起姚萍和原系領導以及其他同事紛紛的慰問信，對德清的死同致哀悼和惋惜。有人還把德清的病歸咎於四人幫，表示了同仇敵愾的憤怒。從那以後，姚萍便和以貞通訊不斷。 我們現在缺教員到了恐慌的地步！ 姚萍這回在信裏告訴她。 國外回來的教師走了一大半，剩下的也難保，仍然繼續有人申請出國。聽說校黨委在喊，要到國外聘請人材了！教授死的死，病的病，剩下的常是心有餘而力不足。你還記得頭兩屆工農兵學員留任助教吧？如今全要補習才能上陣。這樣，我們陰錯陽差竟成了挑樑大柱、自從四化喊響後，各種指標和科研項目就雨後春筍般冒出來。上課任務又重，恨不得一個人劈作兩半使才好！我現在也要帶研究生了，怕誤人子弟，自己非進修不可。幸虧文革那幾年我們靠邊站，抓空學了點英語，現在正好派上用場。以貞，你能不能給我寄幾本美國這方面先進的專業書來？ 以貞展讀再三，心中暗生內疚，好像自己甩下的工作竟壓在姚萍身上似的。當初兩人是最要好的同學，睡上下鋪，整天夢想著在中國實行綠色革命，使疲乏貧瘠的土地再現生機。But now?一個固守崗位，一位漁泊異鄉。 以貞慚愧的是自己離開中國後，不知不覺已經荒廢了專業。哪些是最新的參考書呢？她自己先就摸不著頭腦。 她匆匆做了塊三明治，帶著它上圖書館，把自己再度埋進了書本裏來。 黃昏時，以貞抱了幾本書回家，發現莉娜來接他們，和蘇中在家裏已等得不耐煩了。 嬸嬸，你上哪兒去這麼久？ 抱歉，在圖書館一坐竟忘了時間。 兒子接過書來一看，有些驚訝。 媽，您怎麼又想起搞專業來？ 姚阿姨要我寄參考書，我先得自修一下，才知道寄什麼對她有用嘛。 蘇中在母親的影響下，自小便有志學農。現在看到母親又對專業發生了興趣，也跟著歡喜。 媽，您要不要去修一門課？ 好呀，嬸嬸，選修幾門課，將來找事就方便許多。 莉娜也在旁鼓勵。 再說吧，就怕我英語還不行。 莉娜說祖母一定等得心焦，直催快走。他們還要去學校接蘇台。 阿中，你來開車吧？ 莉娜問她堂弟。兩兄弟都是她教會開車的。 還是莉娜開吧。 以貞不放心。 我來開！ 蘇中早接過車鑰匙。於是由堂姐陪坐在旁邊，蘇中開車去接了哥哥，再開向伯伯家。以貞在後座，一直懸著一把心。對於她，汽車和高速公路代表了文明和進步，但也有一種危機四伏的潛意識威脅。 阿中，開慢點。 yes. 嬸嬸不要緊張，下班時間交通量大，他要開快也不行。 莉娜什麼時候都表現得機智明快，而且嫵媚大方，從不扭捏作態。她長得不算美，但眉眼清秀，天然烏黑的頭髮直垂到腰際；服裝考究但不艷麗，像本人一樣，有深度，很經看。她去年大學畢業後，就在一家報館裏當見習記者，經常駕著車在半島一帶跑來跑去。昭娥覺得女孩子這麼拋頭露面不好，老嘀咕著要她幫忙父親的進出口貿易。可惜莉娜對從商一點興趣都沒有。 以貞很喜歡這個侄女，見面總有不少話可談。 莉娜，記者生涯幹得怎麼樣？ 沒意思！盡跑市議會和飛機場，大新聞又輪不到我，我想不幹了。 以貞正想勸她少安毋躁，蘇台倒先建議： 那麼你可以讀研究院了。 我也這麼想，不過祖母和媽媽都希望我先結婚。 這倒是實話，以貞便想起萬保羅。 保羅怎麼樣了？ 她明知故問，就想聽聽侄女自己的意見。 談不來。他對吃喝玩樂都在行，股票也有興趣此外，便一竅不通。 台灣來的男孩子很多，以貞安慰她，你一定會碰到彼此談得來的。 莉娜鼻子先否定地哼一聲。 台灣來的人很勤勉很努力，但是他們好像不知道自己要的是什麼，缺乏安全感。於是，談綠卡，談工作機會，抱怨美國又抱怨台灣。我不知道，我反正是認同了美國，沒有這些困擾。 莉娜坦承自己認同美國。她自己心安理得，旁人也就沒有話說。 以貞不相信莉娜會永遠沒有困擾。她知道自己現在就有不少的困擾，只是糾纏不清，因此一時無語以對。 兄弟倆也沒言語。好在很快就到了伯伯家。 祖母早佇門而望，見到他們又是歡喜又是嗔怪來得晚。 阿中開車嘛，莉娜笑嘻嘻地說：怎麼快得了？ 哎呀，他剛拿到駕駛執照，你怎麼好叫他開！ 老太太一臉慌急，偏愛孫子的心情溢於言表。 這不都安全到達了嗎？ 老太太還嘟噥著，嘴卻笑開了，露出整齊潔白的假牙來。 以貞常想，這假牙大概是婆婆身上唯一和現代文明妥協的地方。像今天，她腦後梳著大圓髻，一身素淨的對襟中式衣裙，腳上大圓頭平跟皮鞋，這身打扮就和以貞小時候在老家見過大戶人家的老太太一樣。除了白髮和層層打摺的皺紋，時光在婆婆身上成了休止符。 德明還沒有回來，昭娥在廚房裏忙著，於是大家都過來和她招呼。 先喝一碗紅棗茶，大年初一要喝紅棗茶的。 老太太指著桌上一鍋棗燉桂肉湯，要莉娜給大家盛一碗。 Let me do it. 以貞搶過來做。她知道莉娜怕胖，最忌吃甜食，只象徵性地舀了一小碗給她。 蘇家房子大，客廳寬敞而鋪設講究，餐廳是全套台灣來的紅木桌椅，十分有氣派。不過，以貞最欣賞的是這個廚房。它不比客廳小，櫥櫃佈滿牆，電氣化設備應有盡有，酒吧式的櫃枱外，還有空間放置一桌四椅。落地長窗直通後院的游泳池。光線充足，給人明窗淨几的舒適感。 每次看到這樣的廚房，以貞總想起在北京那間四尺見方的小廚房；想起有些人家常年在門口走道裏燒煮三頓飯的狼狽情景。她嘆息中國的貧窮落後，也嘆息美國的奢侈浪費。 今晚吃素菜。 昭娥略帶警告地宣佈，同時瞥了婆婆一眼。 初一早午吃素，晚上才能開葷。老太太不憚其煩地解釋：現在早午一家人都不在一起。只有晚上才碰面，所以要吃一次素補償。一共十二道。 婆婆指著櫃枱上的一盤盤蔬菜說明，不外乎利用形狀和諧音，來作福祿壽喜的祝賀。像線麵表示長壽，而台語的豆和老諧音，吃豆便象徵有口福吃到老。以貞在中國從來沒這麼講究過，就是前幾年在這裏，也是馬馬虎虎。沒想到老人家這一次突然認真到極點。她不禁同情起嫂嫂，侍候婆婆真是不容易。 住到美國來了，為什麼要這麼固守台灣的習慣呢？ 莉娜很不以為然，衝著祖母就問起來。 台灣人住在美國，再不固守自己的風俗習慣，那麼和美國人有什麼差別？ 老太太振振有詞地反駁孫女，然後還盯著二媳婦問：你說是不是，阿貞？ yes. 以貞不敢反駁。她也想不出反駁的理由。據說猶太人在美國就十分保守自己的傳統，而他們的團結和出類拔萃可是有目共睹。 灶上一大鍋水冒出了蒸氣。嫂嫂開始煮細麵條。她不冷不熱地說： 要百分之百地固守傳統，那只有回台灣才做得到。 不見得，事在人為。 老太太立刻頂回去。她臉上的肌肉綳得緊緊的，毫無妥協的意思。 傳統怎麼能丟呢？ 她改向以貞和兩個孫子訓導開來。 只要我活著，我總要提醒下輩的不要忘記自己來自何方。正因為在美國，更不能忘了台灣。忘了台灣，就是忘了根本，那就像一片浮葉，隨風飄蕩，不著邊不著岸的，算什麼呢？明年，你們都隨我回台灣過年。 昭娥在老太太背後對著以貞眨眨眼睛，表示歡送的意味。 前院傳來汽車開門的聲晌，德明回來了。廚房裏的火藥氣氛頓時烟消雲散。 德明是個笑口常開的人，圓乎乎的臉上總是紅潤潤的，只有銳利的眼神透露他的精明能幹。頭髮稀薄，但精心染黑，用生髮油塗抹並梳得一條不紊。體態發福，一望而知是功成業就，自有一份富泰而隨心所欲的瀟灑。 老太太敬重兒子，兒子也孝順，因此婆媳間的別扭從來不在他跟前提起。 他一到家，先和蘇台兄弟倆打一局桌球。分了輸贏後，也正是開飯的時刻。 How is this going?聽說喬健光要去大陸？ 德明端起了一碗麵，先求證以貞。 說是去人民大學教一年國際法。 除了以貞母子，大家都嘖嘖稱奇。 大陸那麼苦，他怎麼突然要去自找苦吃呢？一年後出來沒問題吧？ 昭娥言下不勝驚訝費解，甚至覺得老喬太冒險。 回去講學，他們歡迎得很，哪敢隨便扣人！德明比較理智。北京的生活現在應該改善了才對。 他要住旅館吧？老太太開始為他耽心。聽說好吃的東西，只有旅館有。 這幾年對外面回去的很優待。以貞解釋給婆婆聽：生活是不成問題的。就怕政治鬥爭有反覆而已。 鄧小平他們，幾年內還罩得住吧。 德明表示出審慎的樂觀。他忽然一笑，福至心靈地說： 嘿，我哪天也該去走一趟，看看做生意的可能性。現在台灣貨銷大陸，全讓日本人賺飽啦！ 你去大陸？ 昭娥的小眼珠子暴得滾圓，剛要挾進嘴裏的菠菜又放回碗內，簡直驚得食不知味似的。 老太太皺緊了眉頭看兒子，不知他是否開玩笑。 嗨，怕什麼？德明並不在乎。做生意嘛，台灣還不是睜一眼閉一眼。 why are you not going?莉娜也支持爸爸。貿易是互利的，對哪一方都有好處。 昭娥還是期期以為不可。她怕為此弄得一家人回不了台灣。 德明，老太太說了，你一定等阿貞去過台灣以後，才能考慮去大陸。 好，好，不去啦！我不過說說而已。 德明息事寧人，於是大家都不再提起去大陸的事。 吃完飯，以貞才幫著把碗筷送進洗碗機，門鈴就響起。 Who could this be? 昭娥有些