Chapter One Shua, Shua, Shua The sound of rubber-soled shoes stepping on the cement came from behind the old man. Not long after he turned onto Fifth Street from Gilly Boulevard, he noticed it.It is neither fast nor slow, and seems to match its own pace, quite like a partner. It's been a long time since I've had this kind of shadowy experience.Before going out for a walk with Yongyong, she had to wear at least half-heeled leather shoes, beeping on the road all the way, crisp and proud, just like her.No matter how she adjusts, she often lags behind by half a step, and doesn't like to talk, as if she picks this kind of moment to think about major events in life.

Habits are like addictions, once you lose this step-by-step following, you will be as lonely as losing your own shadow. It is said that losing a spouse in old age is a great tragedy, and indeed even walking is too monotonous. At ten o'clock in the morning, the Geely Avenue adjacent to Jinmen Bridge Park was already full of traffic, but the side streets and alleys were desolately quiet.As far as the eyes could see, there was only an oriental face walking across the street.With white hair and a hunchback, he walks leisurely with a cane in his hand. He looks like he is going to drink tea in the street.

In the past two years, restaurants and teahouses have opened one after another, and this area has been called the New Chinatown, and Cantonese-style tea drinking is very popular. When the four eyes met, the other party nodded slightly.His face is familiar, but he can't tell his name.There are many Chinese people in this area, especially those who are retired. There are often opportunities to meet each other when running in the morning or sitting in the park. It's just that he doesn't like to strike up a conversation with them, and only nods to them. The old man looks at the old man very harshly.He retracted his gaze, straightened his chest, and stepped up his feet to surpass the opponent.

The sound of the rubber shoes behind Shua Shua Shua also accelerated. He was a little curious, but for some reason he didn't dare to look back. After two blocks, his apartment was already in sight. This street is full of residential buildings wall to wall, but my apartment with six units on the third floor is particularly eye-catching.The neighbors are in soft beige and white, but it is painted in khaki, with black latticed windows, and it is serious and pretentious.The garage was painted as a rectangular blackboard, reminiscent of a coffin.When Xianli and his wife took him to see the house, they said the appearance was depressing and advised him not to rent it.

Never believe in evil.No, I have lived here for five years. He fished his keys into his coat pocket. Don't move!i have a gun. What gun? Sure enough, a sharp and hard object pressed against his back. gun!No, it's robbery With this realization, there was a bang in the head, like a bullet shell exploding, but the limbs went limp. Give me the wallet, quick! The thick bass, like a stone pressed by the tongue, approached his ears, and the nostrils caught a burst of wine smell. My hands were shaking so badly that I could barely hold the wallet.The other party cooperated and grabbed it.

Just this little money? Obviously disappointed. yes He felt sorry, he just went to the coal company to pay the bill, and he paid in advance next month's bill, and the cash was almost used up, with only a dozen or so change notes left. Poor cleaner, cheap you! After insultingly, the other party stuffed the wallet into the pocket of his coat. Don't move, don't make public, or you won't be polite next time! His throat was dry and hoarse, he couldn't answer, so he had to nod instead. Swish!Swish!Swish!The rubber-soled shoes walked away quickly. Fear persisted for a long time, coupled with fatigue, he could not walk for a long time, and became a plant on the sidewalk.

Only a few steps away are steps, and three steps up is the glass door of the apartment.Being robbed at the door of my own house, just as the boat capsized in the gutter, I felt infinitely ashamed and angry when I thought about it. Your San Francisco must have better law and order, Isabella said so in her letter last winter.Well, like morality in America as a whole, it goes from bad to worse.She was robbed of her purse in Times Square in New York before Christmas, but she was unwilling to reconcile, and got into a ball with the gangster, causing trouble with blue eyes and blue eyes, and the purse was eventually snatched away.Pedestrians stood by and watched the show for nothing.

Women are just that stubborn.Once, while waiting for a car in front of a movie theater in Chicago with Yongyong, a little black boy snatched her purse and ran away.Yong Yong screamed and chased after him.Instead of running over to pull her by herself, I believe she will gallop a few streets wearing four-inch high heels.The fare is on her, and her purse is nothing more than a powder box and a handkerchief. In Chicago, it's a regular thing, and it's a well-known crime capital.San Francisco is also broken now. In broad daylight, the old man was actually targeted.The Chinese are famous for carrying huge sums of money, and their goals are even bigger.However, his clothes were old, and the robbers inevitably missed him.

This is a form of age discrimination.The 1960s were a time for teenagers, the 80s were a time for old people to suffer and be abused.Either they were abandoned by their children, or their pensions were eaten up by inflation, and the robbers came to scrape away the remaining copper coins, hateful! Mr. Hu, what's the matter with you?Where does it hurt? When did Mi Zhaosheng stand on the steps, calling out loudly. Lao Mi, I was robbed! I don't want to say it in my heart, but my tongue doesn't listen to me, and I complain when I see acquaintances.The most embarrassing thing is that the voice is still shaking like crying.

when?What happened just now!How much did you grab in broad daylight?Do you want to call the police? He waved his hand, interrupting the series of conversations that Lao Mi was making.He hated himself for not being able to hold his breath.It's a matter of ten yuan, which is really lucky, and it doesn't hurt a bit. Come on, I'll help you up. Probably with a bad face, Lao Mi came over and helped him up the steps without saying anything. I'll go upstairs by myself, you have something to do with your work. It's okay, I'm dizzy from reading English, I just want to go to the street to buy a pack of cigarettes, it's really okay.

I usually boast that I can go up and down the third floor to exercise, but today it is like climbing a mountain, and I have to stop every step of the stairs to catch my breath. Not much loss, just a false alarm.You will return home in two days, and you will soon forget about it.Mr. Hu, sit down and rest assured, I will make you a cup of tea. Along the way, Lao Mi finally found out how he was robbed, and warmly comforted him. false alarm.It just doesn't go well.Since he bought the China Civil Aviation ticket to Shanghai, the telephone company made a mistake on his account and added a lot of long-distance charges to him for no reason; the coal and electricity company asked him to prepay the next month's fee, otherwise the supply would be cut off; the landlord Ask him to keep a check for the rent, as if suspecting that he may be stranded and owe his rent.Money was robbed at the door again today.If I knew it was such a trouble, I really didn't want to take this trip. The kitchen was across the aisle when the door came in. He struggled to step in two steps and sat down at his old place by the round table.As soon as I got on the armchair, I felt a sense of safety and comfort that I had never felt before, like a warm current that penetrated all the joints of my body. If you fly on Sunday, isn't that the day after tomorrow?Luggage or something, take care of it, Mr. Hu? He hummed and didn't want to talk about it. There were still breakfast coasters on the table.As soon as he stretched out his hand to push it away, Lao Mi took it away diligently, and it was useless to protest. These newcomers from the mainland, he found, were very nosy, sometimes overly enthusiastic and invaded the privacy of others.They should go to the countryside to do as the Romans do, but they don't understand the magical effect of Americans sweeping their own doors. Like Mi Zhaosheng, who predicted the victory of the Anti-Japanese War. When he introduced himself, he did not forget to explain the process of birth and naming.It's not that my wife is ungrateful, but I'm asking myself about going back to China to visit my relatives, and I'm just asking about it.It is generally believed that the elderly have nothing to do and love to chat.Little did he know that he hated this kind of thing the most, and he would never accept old age. Weak, your name is bullshit man. Mr. Hu, next time you have something to go nearby, let Mi Guang and Mi Ming accompany you.Kids, it's okay to ask them to run errands for you. After Lao Mi put the kettle on the gas stove, he opened the cupboard to find the tea pots, and his mouth was not idle. When I left Xi'an in June, the anti-criminal campaign was at its most lively, and I saw them paraded through the streets.The law and order in China has been poor in the past few years, but I didn't expect the United States to be so bad.What kind of person is he who blatantly robs in broad daylight, black? The racial prejudice of the Chinese is no less than that of the whites. Lao Mi has only been here for more than three months. I am afraid that he has never spoken a word to the blacks, but he clearly discriminates against them. have no idea. Recalling the thick accent, the old man himself believed that he was probably a nigger. Isabella described the person who snatched her purse in Times Square as a young man.I don't even have the guts to look back, at least not to talk nonsense. White women are against racism, and he can't show weakness on that either. I heard that they have the highest crime rate, are lazy, and drink too much.Duanmukai said that she saw black people lying on the side of the road several times, drunk and unconscious.They are also the ones who receive the most relief money. Lao Mi seems to regard his wife as an expert on black issues. The old man also did not like Duanmukai and black people.He forced himself to get up, went back to the aisle and turned into the bedroom on the right, went to the bathroom to find a sedative and swallowed it. His hands were still trembling slightly, but he didn't expect the lingering fear to still exist. He looked into the mirror over the sink.His face was indeed very pale; his chin, which had been shaved in the morning, was blue and dark like the surface of a frozen lake; his usually proudly rosy cheeks were completely faded.The thick hair seemed to be crawling on the forehead in fright, listlessly.His vision was even worse, so dull that it made him angry when he saw it. He picked up the hairbrush and brushed it vigorously. Woo The sound of boiling water came through the wall, like a ghost screaming in the back of his head. He reluctantly stood up from the toilet. Mr. Hu, the tea is ready, I'll give you some Pu'er tea. Puer tea?Oh, he finally remembered that it was a gift from Lao Mi.A month ago, old Mito filled out the enrollment forms for his two children and gave him a pack of tea.At that time, I put it in the cupboard casually and completely forgot about it. I have a poor memory when I am old. I just found out that the toilet paper in the toilet is almost used up, and I have repeatedly forgotten to buy more. Thank you, Lao Mi, and you have a cup of tea too. The host and guest sat down at the round table. How about it? Lao Mi is eager to know his evaluation of tea. Well, it's okay. He is used to drinking coffee in the morning and green tea at noon, but he doesn't appreciate Pu'er tea because he thinks it has a musty smell.There is also a large font on the package that says it is high-grade Pu-erh tea. If it is not a high-end product, it must be difficult to swallow. It's been two weeks since school started, children still like American schools, right? He changed the subject so as not to continue talking about tea. Why don't you like it?No homework at home, just watch TV.Color TV hurts the eyes very much, and we quarrel when we talk about it, alas!Mi Ming also said that he learned English quickly by watching TV. Children learn everything quickly. You can learn bad things quickly, Mr. Hu. Lao Yonehara's long and melancholy face was now filled with depression. Especially the boss, Mi Guang, who seemed to have changed in just over three months. He had a bad temper. Whenever he said a few words to him, he would immediately talk back.How could a fourteen-year-old kid be so overbearing in China?At his age, I dare not raise my voice when speaking to my parents! Fourteen.I'm his age When people get old, they often forget what happened yesterday, but the memory of fifty or sixty years ago tends to become clearer day by day.He remembers very clearly that when he was fourteen years old, he went to a school in Hangzhou to study, peeked at "Meat Futuan", and learned to masturbate.When I wrote to my father for the first time, I honestly mentioned this matter.Unexpectedly, his father sent several letters to scold him, saying that he did not study well and was not filial.It is ridiculous to be naive, but I have also seen what is false Taoism.When the father was young, he gambled and whored, and bought a little girl named Aunt Tian as the second wife the year after his son was born.It's a pity that Aunt Tian didn't add a baby, which only increased the endless quarrel.He has enjoyed the blessings of being equal to others, but now he receives a letter from his son, but reprimands him with a straight face, and even uses the teachings of Confucius and Mencius to suppress him, which makes him extremely unconvinced. His aversion to his father and his rebellion against his family are believed to have started at the age of fourteen. Children of this age, he suggested to Lao Mi, don't be too strict.Children in the United States are lawless when they are teenagers, and they become sensible when they grow up. I hope so. Lao Mi's tone clearly lacked confidence. People change when they come to America.Mr. Hu has been here for half a century, of course he has seen more than me, but I always find it hard to understand how Duanmukai turned his face and refused to recognize people. His usually gentle and modest eyes were now covered with a sad expression. Knowing that he couldn't help, the old man simply avoided his gaze and picked up his cup to drink tea.The hand is no longer shaking, this sedative is really effective. In all fairness, Lao Mi's situation is indeed sympathetic.Just two days after getting off the plane, before the door of the apartment was even warm, my wife asked for a divorce.In order to take effect half a year later, the woman insisted on starting the separation on the same day.Except for sending living expenses and looking after her son, she never came again, and only contacted by phone if necessary. If you have never seen Duanmukai, you may think that she has three heads and six arms, otherwise it would be impossible for her to be so powerful.Lao Mi said that when she left Xi'an to come to the United States four years ago, she was penniless, and now she has a two-bedroom apartment.She doesn't live by herself, but rents it out to reduce the tax amount, and rents another house to live in by herself.When her husband and son came, they also rented the same downstairs apartment as the old man.When he files for divorce, he will be notified that he will have to pay the rent by himself after half a year. Over the past few years, the old man often believes that American women are becoming more and more powerful.However, compared with Duanmu Kai, they are far behind. Four years ago, I happened to see a headline in a Chinese newspaper: Duanmu Keshi's big speech Let's talk about the Cultural Revolution At that time, I thought Duanmukai was a man, but after reading the content carefully, I found out otherwise.It turned out that in the 1950s, she was a top student at Xi'an Jiaotong University, proficient in mathematics and science, and was also good at playing ball and singing.Because of his frank speech, he was labeled as a rightist and sent to rural labor camps.When the Cultural Revolution came, we suffered a lot.I don't know if it's because the people in the Bay Area haven't seen the rightists, or because Duanmukai is attractive, but there was a whirlwind at that time, and she gave speeches and discussions everywhere, and it was very lively. He was thinking about going to one of her speeches that day.One day, I saw another news saying that she was hired as a researcher by a certain university to write about her personal experience from the Anti-Rightist Movement to the Cultural Revolution.There was also a photo in the newspaper, with short hair like noodles and a round face, it was a very ordinary mainland woman.He suddenly felt dull. Until two weeks ago, she came to take her two sons to her apartment for the Labor Day weekend, and finally saw the true face of Lushan.At that time, I went to get the letter by myself, and happened to meet Lao Mi sending the mother and son out of the gate. It's been a long time, Mr. Hu!Lao Mi said, you are going back to China to visit relatives, is that right?That's great!The policy has changed a lot in the past two years, and it is worth checking out.Lao Mi said, it’s really interesting that you were in the same year as the Republic of China!I have never experienced the rule of the Communist Party, so when I go back this time, the contrast is even more obvious, and the observation must be particularly rich and profound.When you come back, I must visit you for advice The two thick purple lips are sharp, always accompanied by a faint smile.Moreover, Lao Mi is long and Lao Mi is short, not like a loving couple, but also as close as old friends for many years.Lao Mi is of average Chinese height, and his wife is half a head shorter than him.But the eyes glanced at him twice, and he immediately looked half short. These eyes are the only outstanding ones among her facial features, shining with a cool brilliance.When looking at a person, the needle seems to penetrate the other person's internal organs steadily.The husband cringed under their watchful eyes, shriveled more than dehydrated vegetables. The old man believed that Lao Mi's various setbacks were all due to his inability to deal with these eyes. Later, Yong Yong also had this look.Those phoenix eyes almost doubled in size after going on a diet for half a year.The whole body became thinner than a skeleton, but the eyes became rounder and brighter, making one's heart bleed.I can't stand it right away.As soon as she entered the door and announced that she was going to get married, she gave her a hard stare, like a piercing iron that couldn't be pulled out.Godmother, come on, let me finish.He lowered his eyebrows and described the arrangements for the wedding, from the date and venue to who would help the bride out, and he didn't raise his eyes again after he finished talking.She has that intimidating focused gaze, which is comparable to Duanmukai's majesty.The eyes are also much better-looking, and the brows are raised, gracefully like a peacock spreading its tail.Cold and charming.hansome. Mr. Hu, what do you think I should do? What? He missed what the guest said earlier. I said just now that Duanmukai was divorced early, so he shouldn't have gone back last year and tricked me out Oh, you can go back to Xi'an. The other party has a troubled expression on his face. I was able to become the head of the personnel security section because I was born in a poor peasant, joined the party at an advanced age, and the organization was trustworthy.Now I went to the United States and went back. Although I didn’t do anything, how can I clean it?The section chief position will definitely not be taken back.Moreover, when I left, there was a farewell meeting in the unit, and now I go back alone He didn't even bother to answer such a face-saving person. Mr. Hu, can you do me a favor? how? I don't know any friends here except you, can you persuade her? I don't know her well. He flatly refused.Immediately, he leaned against the back of the chair, his head drooped wearily, and his eyes fell on a button on his chest. Yes, we will talk about it later.You close your eyes and rest.I'm fine anyway, I'll cook you lunch before leaving. Don't worry, I eat very simply. He was quite clear-headed, but he felt exhausted and drowsy all over his body, so he gave up promoting his three major meal recipes to Lao Mi.Simple and nutritious, all by calories.At noon, there are two slices of bread, a cucumber, and a small can of tuna or fifty peanuts. It's okay, making a bowl of noodle soup will be quick. The former head of the personnel security section suddenly became very assertive, and when he got up, he shuttled between the refrigerator and the stove to make arrangements.The blue cloth trousers fluttered under the half-closed eyes of the old man; the plastic soles of the cloth shoes knocked on the plastic floor, and the sound was so crisp and trivial that it was almost harsh. Yongyong's footsteps sound different, like cat's claws.When she does housework in the kitchen, she likes to wear soft-soled embroidered shoes, which are as soft as a cat walking on the oak floor. At that time, I liked leaning against the kitchen door the most, giving her an excuse to pass a pot or ladle or something, waiting for an opportunity to feast my eyes.The back half of a woman is actually more beautiful, because it is undefended and very real.Yongyong's cheongsam is the most close-fitting, her round buttocks protrude like a relief, and the hem of the skirt sways when she walks.The lines of the calf are extremely soft, white and smooth like the white jade pillars that hold the sky, there is a kind of temptation that makes people prostrate and worship. At such moments, the impulse to graffiti when I was young is jumping in my blood vessels again.The strange thing was that twenty years of living together hadn't done her a favor.Is it because I don't love her enough, or because I know I'm clumsy? Mr. Hu, if you are sleepy, take a nap on the sofa.This is an electric stove, the heat is slow to heat up, if you use gas Don't, don't! He opened his eyes and yelled. Lao Mi grabbed a small knife for cutting green onions tightly, his tongue agape in fright. He made a gesture of leaving me alone, put his head in his hands, put his elbows on the table, and closed his eyes in panic. However, the vision in the darkness is clearer. Yongyong lay on his back in front of the stove, as if asleep.The make-up on the face is beautiful, the purple-red and black lips are slightly parted, the eyebrows are drawn into a crescent moon and hang on the deep hole-like eye sockets, and the eyes are quietly closed.The purple red cheongsam was draped over the body by two sizes, looking loose and forgiving; one of the high heels fell off, revealing the feet wrapped in silk stockings, desolate and lonely. The kettle was on the stove, and the gas was not ignited in time, and it was scattered under the kettle. How many times, he blamed himself for sleeping so hard that she got up to get dressed, went to the kitchen to boil water, and was unconscious.Before that, he never needed to take sleeping pills, and he only drank a glass of warm milk she prepared before going to bed.She was an exception that day and fell asleep so deeply. If she hadn't called immediately to say that the wedding would be held at ten o'clock, and then drove to pick up the couple immediately, she might have fallen asleep. If so, he would probably go with her too.Just as he was answering the phone, he could already smell a strange smell. Accident.Let's say it was an accident.So did the examiner.Due to long-term dieting and frail health, accidents and misfortunes occurred. Perhaps this is the price of beauty. She appreciates beauty and never tires of seeing it.She pursued beauty, and finally dedicated her life for it. Out of love for her at the time, I couldn't bear to tell her that I didn't appreciate the beauty manipulated by this kind of clothing advertisement.All of them were sallow and emaciated from hunger, with protruding shoulders, flat chest, sunken eye sockets, full of sickness, how beautiful is it?A beauty like Lin Daiyu should only be viewed from a distance, and if he wants to get in touch with her further, he would rather have a Baochai type for the benefits. Too bad it didn't stop her in the first place.In order to be slim, she would rather go hungry.Later, when he saw food, he would frown, even if he barely ate it, he would vomit it out.Xianli said it was a disease called anorexia nervosa, but she refused to see a doctor. He once suspected that she was torturing herself to this point on purpose.A beauty can't stand old age and fading, and she has always been very conceited. When the idea of ​​suicide germinated, I almost went crazy. Leaving without saying goodbye means resisting understanding, and even traps the survivor in a complex of guilt, from which he cannot escape forever.Self-condemnation is like an abyss, which is difficult to fill.The more others avoid mentioning it, the more guilty I feel.He feels guilty, flawed, unable to provide the living with a rich material life, and even has doubts and fears about his own man. In order not to go mad, he had no choice but to flee, far away from Chicago. Mr. Hu, do you eat spicy food? Only after Lao Mi repeated it did he understand. I don't have chili at home. If you like spicy food, I recently discovered a kind of Yangcheng chili sauce, which is locally produced and tastes very good. I don't eat spicy food. Lao Mi soon served a bowl of noodle soup, sprinkled with minced green onion and shredded ham, steaming hot, quite appetizing. You taste salty, if not enough, add two drops of soy sauce. The master sat still. Thank you for taking a lot of your time. Nothing, neighbor, I'll go back right away. When Lao Mi approached the kitchen door, he stopped again and said that he would come upstairs to see him off on Sunday. I will keep the keys for you and check your letters every day.When your nephew comes from Taiwan, I will clean up the house and hand it over with the key. The host stood up, opened the door himself, watched the guests go out, and then closed the door heavily. Chasing away a fly, he sat down to eat noodles with peace of mind. Near noon, the autumn tiger's smoldering power broke out, and the air became hot and dry. After the meal, he took off his coat, moved to sit on the couch in the living room, closed his eyes and fell asleep. He doesn't have the habit of taking a nap, but taking a short nap after a meal is a necessary rest.Especially today, when I put my head on the back of the chair, I feel extremely comfortable, and any thoughts are smoothed away by an iron.He doesn't think about anything, blankness is the safest, don't even dream. beep The phone rang from the kitchen. When I woke up, I realized that I fell asleep when I was lying flat on the couch.When I turned over and sat up, the first thing I did was regret that I shouldn't have taken the sedative, and I probably would have insomnia at night. beep The ringtone is fairly insistent. Nine out of ten people who dialed the wrong number persisted like this. He walked to the kitchen sullenly, and took off the earphones from the wall above the dining table. Is Mr. Hu Weiheng at home? The voice of a Chinese woman, he couldn't help but cheer up. Yes, yes, I am! Uncle Hu, I don’t know if you still remember me. My name is Yang Lixing. In 1973, Hu Jinghan and I went to Chicago to see you and Aunt Jin Yong. Oh, it's Miss Yang!of course I remember. A duck egg face without makeup immediately came to mind, the straight hair was divided into left and right clumps, tied with ear fans, and the rest naturally fell to the shoulders.He was deeply impressed by the appearance of a female student in the 1930s. Jin Yong and I have met you before, that is In 1967, you and Aunt Jin traveled to Taiwan. Yes, Miss Yang was a reporter at that time. Uncle Hu has a really good memory! She followed Jing Han to call her uncle, she was sweet and kind, which made the old man's ears warm. Thank you for your praise. Yong Yong once took a boat trip on Lake Michigan with you and had a great time. I will talk about it for a long time in the future. It was a pity that Uncle Hu didn't go that time. You seemed to be very busy at that time. No, I've been busy for a while. That year, the price of oil soared, and the stocks I bought fell sharply. I was on the phone every day, waiting for news from the stockbroker. Let alone swimming in the lake, I had no appetite for food.In order to get back the old capital, the house was re-mortgaged, securities lending and financing methods were used together, but the result was a complete failure.I studied and taught economics by myself, but ended up like this!1973 was an absurd time, a mark of shame, a time to try to forget. Miss Yang now I'm in Silicon Valley in San Jose on business.Is Uncle Hu busy?I want to wait to see you Welcome, very welcome! Well, can I come around four o'clock? All right, I'm at home.do you know how to go? I have your address.I also rent a car and have a map of San Francisco. He still pointed out graciously: I live on the north side of Golden Gate Bridge Park, you can turn into Fifth Street along the park, or you can turn in from Gilly Avenue.The car can be parked at the gate of the garage. There are people in the garage, and it is painted black, which is easy to recognize. Thank you, Uncle Hu, for giving such detailed instructions, I will definitely not get lost.See you later then! With a crisp and clear voice, one can imagine her ability in dealing with people. After hanging up the earphones, he had a question, why did Yang Lixing come to him suddenly?Could it be that the nephew changed his mind at the last moment, maybe he asked her to send some letters. He couldn't think of anything else to take care of.More than two years ago, under Jing Han's begging, he agreed to organize a visit to the United States for his nephew and daughter-in-law Ke Qihua.When my son wrote a letter, he never forgot to ask his father to go back to China to have a look.Coupled with Xianli's instigation, he was finally moved.This spring, when Qihua got his passport and began to apply for a US entry visa, he suddenly had the idea of ​​killing two birds with one stone, that is, returning to China to visit relatives, and taking his nephew and daughter-in-law out by the way.Jing Han was very happy and expressed his willingness to pay for his uncle's round-trip air ticket.Of course I can't accept it. I have been poor and poor in this life, but I have never received favors from others.He finally saved the travel expenses from his meager social insurance and annuity, although the whole plan was delayed for half a year. Now, Jing Han has already sent his wife's air ticket and settling allowance, as well as a color TV set consigned to a Hong Kong travel agency, what else is there to bring? This color TV set is insisted by Jing Han, and Qihua has repeatedly stated that he does not need anything from the United States.This niece and daughter-in-law have a lot of backbone and never complain about their hardships.Think about it, my son has never asked or complained for seven years.The people of the Hu family are worthy of being tough. A few years ago, he sent a photo of her to Qihua.The inch-wide black and white photo has turned yellow, as if it was torn from some supporting document, with a stamp stamped in the corner.The round face has the grace and demureness of a middle-aged woman, and there is a delicate and aura between the brows.With Jing Han's talent, appearance, ambition, and free love, he will never marry an ugly woman.After decades of suffering, it is rare for a woman to still look like a woman. I can't even imagine what my original partner looks like now.There are photos of the daughter-in-law and grandchildren, but the old lady is the only one left out.It may be that she didn't send it on purpose. After all, she has gone through divorce procedures. Maybe she still pays attention to her status, and it's hard to say that she even has grievances. After much deliberation, it is likely that Jing Han asked Ms. Yang to send a letter.Both Taiwan and the mainland censored the letter, and the uncle changed hands in the middle, and the letter was never written for a long time.My wife Qihua, Brother Jing Han, everything is safe, please don't worry about it.Emotions are compressed and compressed, each piece of letter paper is as tight and solid as a brick, and it weighs heavily in the hand. Qihua's letter has a bit of the stereotyped tone of the mainland, and sometimes words such as the situation is very good.Jing Han's style of writing is much better. The two pages of half-literate and half-white paper are full of emotion, and the lines are filled with deep nostalgia and meticulous care.It was beyond my expectation that such a talent actually went to work in agriculture.When I took him to go boating on the West Lake, I urged him to recite Xu Zhimo's poems and encouraged him to write and submit them. The husband and wife can meet each other in a month, so there is no need to write letters.Can't figure it out.Jing Han has always been unpredictable.He talks very little, and keeps everything in mind, but he has many ideas, sometimes quite dramatic.Now that he is older, he looks like an honest and honest elder. When he was young, he had a very strong temperament.Because his parents died early, he grew up with his great-uncles and has always been submissive to his elders.It's understandable that Aunt Tian doesn't like her, but she has a good impression of Jing Han.She often thinks about a niece who runs a tofu shop at home and says she is going to marry Jing Han as his daughter-in-law.Jing Han took it seriously, and when he was graduating from Guanghua University, he ran away from home. It is said that his father was so angry that he shook his cigarette bag and scolded him for being ungrateful.Later, I heard that he went to join the army to fight the Japanese devils, and insisted that he would definitely die of cannon fodder in the future, which would of course be even more unfilial.In retrospect, I obediently went home that summer and became a filial son and a dedicated husband for a month, partly because I was afraid that my father would be stimulated again. I feel ashamed when I think about it, my uncle's courage is not as good as my nephew's when he also resists the old family. Not only Jing Han, but even his friends are unpredictable. When he was in Chicago, Yong Yong guessed that Miss Yang was Jing Han's girlfriend, but he didn't know how close she was.Ms. Yang also hides her secrets from women to women, and she probably has an introverted personality. Call her Ms. Yang, but the other party didn't correct her, so it can be seen that she is not married.Counting her age, she should be around forty, she is actually an old lady. For people in their early seventies, forty is an extremely young and attractive number.There are very few women visiting this apartment, thinking of a single female guest coming to the door at four o'clock, the mood immediately rises with excitement.Life suddenly takes on a tense and fulfilling side. Isn't it exciting not to have to pass the long afternoons with TV and standing in front of the window!He was so happy that he walked around the kitchen to welcome the guests, but there was so much to do, he didn't know where to start. He finally figured it out and had to clean the apartment.The first is to clean the kitchen and prepare the tea set.Living room needs vacuuming.When I went to get the vacuum cleaner from the closet in the bedroom, I found that the bed was messy, the morning coat was thrown on the carpet, the curtains were not opened, and the room was very dark.In case a guest wants to go to the toilet, he must pass through the bedroom.So put down the vacuum cleaner and start tidying up the room first. As soon as the curtains were pulled open, the autumn sun flooded into the room like a tide, covering half of the burgundy bed cover in an instant.It arouses red light like mist, reflecting the white powder wall, making the dark room where bats live in hibernation suddenly brighten up. The light is good, and the half-length self-portrait on the wall opposite the bed is particularly impressive.His black hair shone brightly, his thin lips were parted, and his smile was brighter and more confident than usual. Before Yong Yong was alive, he never thought of hanging this oil painting.There are always enlarged photos of her hanging at home, and everything is about her.Before moving to San Francisco, everything that reminded her of her was thrown away.I found this self-portrait in the 1940s when I was looking through the junk box, and I kept it when my heart moved. It has a history of nearly forty years, and it was drawn based on the photos Bessie took of himself during the days of Normandy landing.She and her friends all praised her, saying that she drew a handsome and free-spirited look, and she was secretly proud of it for a long time. It's a pity that since then, I haven't mentioned the paintbrush again, and even the painting utensils were sold to thrift stores. When she first married Yong Yong, she discovered it by accident and called it a masterpiece.Well, it became a masterpiece. The previous paintings are not preserved now.I always feel dissatisfied, either tear it up or throw it away.His father opposed his learning to paint since he was a child, and he must have realized that his son did not have talent or perseverance. The air was stuffy and he opened a window. The electric clock on the bed table was pointing to two o'clock. The room faced west, and the sun was strongest in the afternoon.From now until the sun falls into the sea, the bed must be too hot to lie down on.Even so, he didn't hesitate, as long as the guest was happy (it was a single female guest!) He was willing to lose sleep all night. Serving women has always been his wish. After tidying up the toilet and bedroom, he was so tired that he needed to sit down and rest. The red bed cover was wrinkled reluctantly, so he sat down on the carpet to take a rest. At this moment, I especially miss the person who took the first step.If Yongyong is still there, why bother himself?Her family management is like a beauty, and she is meticulous at all times.Never take a step out of the bedroom door without washing and dressing up; also adjust the makeup at home, and never turn the yellow face to others.Her clothes were hung up as soon as they were taken off and sent for dry cleaning, regardless of their material, so they were always brightly colored.She demands perfection, and there is no room for a speck of dust in her eyes. Bessie, by contrast, is a very different type of her.I have never seen an American woman who is more informal than Bessie. Everything is so-so, and she never makes her bed unless she treats her guests.Honey, aren't beds for sleeping?She will open eyes that are always sleepy, and stare at people with half-open lips, making people not only unable to argue with her, but also dragged further into the water by her.She couldn't care less about anything but going to bed.When I left, I didn't take anything with me; I even dropped one of my beloved gloves and one high-heeled shoe, and only picked it up from under the bed when I cleaned up my clothes to give to the Salvation Army. Now, my life has become Bessieized, and even more simplified to the point where the walls of the house are almost bare. There were originally two colorful photos of nude women cut from "Playboy" magazines on the wall of the living room. After one time, it was taken off, and it is still bare. I always feel that arranging the living room is a woman's business, and leaving the walls empty means waiting for an empty seat, so as to encourage myself. Isabella was an opportunity, but I let her slip through my fingers. Isabella flew in from New York to live in the apartment for a week when the maple tree outside the living room was just sprouting green shoots in the second year of my stay. After the lover breaks up, it is best not to see each other for life, especially not to meet again in old age. In my impression, Isabella is still a brunette who lived together in the 1940s, with deep eyes and white teeth, and a skin like snow.Not long after she married Bessie, she married a shoe store owner who immigrated from the Czech Republic and gave birth to twins.In the mid-1950s, when her husband died of cancer, she met her once before she moved to New York with her children.At that time, she looked calmer and fuller, her eyes were as blue as the waters of the Atlantic Ocean, and her charm was more mellow between glances. Unexpectedly, a woman's middle age is so short.Goodbye this time, it's scary to be old.It would be better for the old lady to be fatter, as if she was too thin and half a foot shorter.Muscles are slack, the face is wrinkled, and the mouth full of desire appears even bigger.The rich and beautiful hair has become thinner, fading into a handful of dry grass.眼睛也小了，倒是盯著人微笑時，神情依舊，閃爍著似紅又黑的光彩，使人想起噴完火焰的山口，餘溫尤是熾熱。 習慣也變了，上床必定要熄燈。 有一次，她在陶醉之餘，忽然提出要結婚。 他正為自己有所成就而滿心歡喜，一時不禁躊躇起來。 首先想到的竟是後事，先立代老師奔波葬禮，把自己一場婚禮毀掉一半的情景，令他起了戒心。伊莎貝拉和自己同年，結婚後很可能要給她送終。他最怕上殯儀館。每次接到這種帖子，都是禮到人未到。他希望有女人為自己穿孝，不然寧可寂寞以終。 你不作聲，難道還在想念金嗎？ 她顯然頗為失望。 欲待否認，卻沒有開口。 於是她談起自己的經驗。守寡後自律了很多年，直到孩子長大出門了，才重新過正常的生活。先後交過幾個男友，有繪圖員、會計師，還有上門兜售化粧品的售貨員。 她總算識相，沒有提及卡車司機之流。 金對你忠誠嗎？ 她忽然冷不防投出一把標槍。 我們是開放婚姻的信徒，彼此互相信任。 他翻過身子不再理她，一隻手忍不住護住了心口，感到裏面有什汩汩而流似的。 接下去兩夜，兩人都是同床異夢。 伊莎貝拉藉口放心不下家裏的兩隻貓，便提前飛回紐約。之後來了一封信，表示能體會他悼亡的哀思，但希望他看得開，更歡迎他到紐約過耶誕節，將和他同登帝國大廈尖頂，欣賞大雪紛飛的美景。 他回信說，正考慮要返國一行。 以後彼此書信往返，她便不再重複賞雪的邀請。 當時雖是搪塞的藉口，如今仔細回憶，這返鄉的念頭，原來在接到兒子的信後，已在下意識生根發芽了。 嘀鈴！嘀鈴！ 又是誰的電話呢？ 他好奇地起身，三步併成兩步地趕去接聽。 胡老師，你行李收拾得差不多了吧？busy or not? 一聽那高亢昂揚得嗓音，便知道是先立。 沒什麼行李好收拾，上飛機前才理都來得及。 Well.我可不可以等一下把愛拉放在你那裏幾小時？ 他暗叫上當，又來不及改口，一時愕住。 她媽媽臨時陪男朋友到多倫多出差去。愛拉希望放學後爸爸就把她接走，可是我答應幫助吳仙標競選德拉維副州長，要在舊金山成立一個籌款委員會，晚上在華埠有個飯局和幾個僑領碰碰頭。愛拉不喜歡唐人街，說她寧可和胡爺爺吃漢堡包呢。 先立解釋了半天，越發不好拒絕。母親不在，家中還有外公外婆，她居然指名和胡爺爺啃漢堡包，真教老人受寵若驚。 可是可以，就是我四點鐘時，有客人來喝茶。 那她自己帶玩具和故事書來，自個兒在你臥房裏玩好了，行不行，胡老師？ All right. 那真謝謝你，回頭我先把她送來。 這叫好事成雙要麼整年不見客，一下子忽然降臨大小兩個女客。 他倍覺忙碌了，在廚房裏團團轉著，不知該做什麼。 看到灶旁的茶具，這才醒悟到，給楊小姐預備了咖啡跟茶，卻沒有小孩的飲料。天熱，說不一定大人也想要冷飲。 想出門現買，早上被搶的餘悸猶在，何況也怕耽誤了時間。只有打破凡事不求人的習慣，找鄰居幫忙吧。 他給老米撥了電話。 我臨時有客人來，你有沒有現成的可口可樂之類的飲料？ 有，有！對方熱心得很。昨天剛放進冰箱半打。 兩瓶就夠了，多少錢，你告訴我一聲。 唉，怎麼好意思鄰居呀！ 那麼，以後我買了還你。 唉，好說，米明剛到家，我讓他給您送去。 謝謝你，老米。 掛了電話，他趕緊收走丟在客廳內的外套，又把地毯吸了一陣塵灰。 東南角面窗的書桌上，還擱著早上用過的望遠鏡。他趕緊把它收進抽屜內，免得讓人發現自己有偷窺的愛好。揮了桌上的灰後，他把座椅轉個九十度，使之面向長沙發。每逢有客，這座椅便是主人固定的位置。 他站在窗口望出去。藍天如海，點綴著幾朵白雲如帆，典型的秋日午後氣象。 對老人而言，午後的窗外，景致稍遜一籌。西斜的陽光照著對面兩層高的連牆屋，家家的後窗都拉上了簾幕，以抵擋烈日的煎烤。這一來，所有的窗戶都像做了手術的眼睛，蒙上紗布，整個失去了啟人尋幽探勝的魅力。 然而，那高及二樓的楓樹卻百看不厭。 這個樓與樓之間的後院，鮮少人整理，不是堆放垃圾桶，就是雜花野草叢生，獨有他窗口下這顆楓樹是一枝獨秀。它長得枝葉茂盛，春夏時有如直徑十來尺的大傘，蒼翠欲滴，秋來一片艷紅，燦爛奪目。 在中西部住了廿多年，不知見過葉紅葉落，從來都無動於衷。怎麼也想像不到，會對舊金山後院的一株楓樹一見傾心。 現在，傘蓋的邊緣出現了零星的黃葉。他相信，等自己再回來時，將是一樹火紅。 他就是欣賞這凋落前的怒火奔放。生命不該是無味的爛蘋果，而是晚紅的楓葉，離枝前最燦爛才對。 There is a knock on the door. 一定是米明。開門一看，果然。孩子遞給他半打的罐裝可樂。 不，不，我只要兩瓶。 他非常堅持。這種百分之九十九點九的糖和水的東西，對健康無益又浪費鈔票，他向來不買，也不贊成別人多喝。 明明，你可不可以下樓替我查信？ 米明點點頭。 他找出鑰匙遞給孩子。後者拎了剩下的飲料，轉身下樓梯。 他把可樂送進了冰箱，收走了吸塵器，又找出一個兩毛五的銀幣來。 米明回來了，交給他一封信。 謝謝你，明明。 他遞過去銀幣。 孩子瞪大了眼睛，似懂非懂的。右手伸出一半。忽然又抽回，轉過身子一溜煙跑掉。 兩毛五掉在地上，他只得彎腰拾起。心裏對這個始終不出一聲的小孩有些奇怪，嫌少？還是怕說話？ 小孩子是一部天書。對小男孩，他更是束手無策。如果愛拉不是女孩子，也不是美國孩子，他相信自己肯定缺乏耐心。 看了一眼信封上的回郵，是列根教授來信，他已經猜到大致的內容了。這個中國文學史教授，半年前寄來一篇分析批評《肉蒲團》的論文。英文打字足有四十頁長，向他請教，實際上是求他修改。為一本小書做長篇大論，他已覺不值，不料內容更加牽強附會，簡直可笑。他讀完一遍就塞進抽屜，再不曾翻過它。 雖然一度對繪畫狂熱過，對文學卻是十足的門外漢。即使是四五十年代那個就業困難的時期，許多留美的中國人紛紛改行治中國文史，他也沒動心過。出於打發時間而涉獵過的一些論述中國文學的書中，他得不出好的印象。總懷疑有些小題大作。華裔學者還勉強，論述祖產起碼有份如數家珍的嫻熟，洋人就良莠不齊。除了少數細心鑽研外，多數難免有取巧找生門以避免競爭的嫌疑這從他們中文都沒弄通一點，已足啟人疑竇。 中國文學在美國一直未曾受到普遍的接受和欣賞，便是拜此等人之賜。 列根教授這是第二次來信催索，不同的是，這次他說願意付三百塊酬勞。請他務必幫忙。 他冷笑一聲，連信帶信封一起扔進了廚房裏的廢紙簍。 時候不早了，必須換衣服去。 他先刷了牙，這才換上藍白相間的乾淨襯衫，繫上棗紅的領帶。刷頭髮的時候，門鈴響起。 四點差一刻，大概是先立送女兒來了。 對講機卻出現楊小姐的聲音，他連忙撳鈴放她進大門。 他開了房門恭候。 胡叔叔，我早來了一刻鐘，不要緊吧？ 她走到門口，停了步，笑吟吟地說。一手拎個皮包，另一手拎個華航標記的塑料袋，加上高跟鞋和窄裙子，一路走上三樓來，說話到底露出頓挫和粗重的鼻息。 不要緊，歡迎得很！please come in. 他把客人讓進客廳。 楊力行挑了沙發一角坐下，皮包放在茶几上，把袋子擱在旁邊地毯上。她環視了一眼佈置簡陋的客廳後，笑意盈然的目光便落在主人身上。 老人不知道她的工作，但是看她的穿著，像是一名成功的職業婦女，尤其是美國常見的那種管理階級的女性形象。米黃色套裝配水紅襯衫，同一色調的皮鞋皮包，給人不俗不艷的感覺。燙過的頭髮，她用膠水固定齊整，胭脂口紅的色彩不太鮮艷，眉毛畫得很細很淡，看來明快又莊重。比起六十年代的滿臉雀斑，以及十年前的直髮披肩。現在的楊小姐反而富有女人韻味。 胡叔叔，十年不見了，您還是老樣子，一點都沒變！ 聽到讚美，老人開心得朗聲大笑。 Thank you!他一邊道謝，一邊坐到書桌前。倒是楊小姐比起芝加哥的時候，更加時髦漂亮了！ 怎麼可能 客人忽然靦腆地低了頭，雙手合十在膝上，帶著頑笑的口吻說：老多啦！ 她這一謙虛。老人才發覺，她果真有一份美。 自從小時候讀過列子，他便留下自美不美的印象。據說楊朱到一逆旅，主人有二妾，一美一醜，主人寶貝醜的而不答理那美的。楊朱問其故，主人說，她自以為美，我不知她美在何處，她自以為醜的，我也看不出醜來。可見自慚形穢會惹人生憐。 伊莎貝拉便自以為仍有青春魅力，自己怕去親近，大概就是下意識裏起了反感的緣故。 楊小姐喝咖啡還是茶？ 你叫我力行，我也不用尊稱好嗎？ 好，力行我也有可口可樂。 我喝茶吧不急，等一下我自己來。 說著，她從塑膠袋裏取出兩罐咖啡和兩罐茶葉擱在茶几上。 我記得你戒了菸酒，因此給你帶了臺灣的凍頂烏龍。這是比賽得過第二獎，市面不賣，託我們公司董事長去拿了一斤，你嚐嚐看。 看那金碧輝煌的茶罐包裝，名貴想必當得起，他向客人道謝。 我去燒水。 再回到客廳，發現客人又掏出兩條三五牌香菸來。 在機場買的，到今天也沒送出去。矽谷的那些電腦專家，似乎個個忙得戒了菸。胡叔叔留著敬客好嗎？ 主人卻之不恭，全收下來。 你自己抽嗎？ 他問力行。 抽一點。 這麼說，你儘管抽菸我可以陪你。 今天，什麼戒他都肯破。 力行謝了他，隨即打開皮包，取出一包薄荷菸。 他找來兩隻小碟子，權充菸灰缸。 美國在流傳，吸薄荷菸會使人性慾減退。到底對女士說不出口，他接了力行遞過來的一支菸，跟著點燃吸將起來。 胡叔叔能戒掉菸真了不起！我試過兩次都失敗呢。聽說，您是為金阿姨戒的，是嗎？ 是，金雍對菸酒都有過敏反應，而且，她也有潔癖。 力行仍然表示佩服：你能做得到，說明毅力過人。 毅力過人唔，某些方面倒也當之無愧。譬如追求金雍。這輩子就只為了追她而寫過幾首英文詩。 這愛是生平第一次， 也是最後一次， 不得回饋， 吾將焚毀 現在，有機會重寫的話，該是：每個愛都是第一次，也是最後一次。 當時確是真摰的，所謂當局者迷，正是戀愛的特徵。 又譬如，不吃不睡地守望著她的臥房窗口，直到她感動得提出離婚。這當然也是毅力。 遺憾的是，這一生只有這方面能展示自己的毅力，而學問、事業竟都誘發不出這一股潛力來。 胡叔叔這裏真安靜。和台北相比，簡直是無聲的世界哪！ 無聲的世界。這倒是很形象的比喻。這裏確是靜，靜得他有時聽得見鄰女換裝時顧影自憐的嘆息。老年的樂趣之一，正在於有閒傾聽萬籟之無聲又有聲。 力行這時手夾著菸，起立走向窗口。 台北聽說現在很繁榮。 太繁榮了，噪音、空氣汙染也厲害啊，好漂亮的楓樹！是日本楓嗎？ 大概是吧，不過葉子很像雞爪楓，分叉得厲害。每年到十一月時，紅葉顏色最深，又像煞一種叫滿月楓的盆栽，那是 胡叔叔真有研究。 哪裏，看了一兩本書而已。 他暗自警告自己，不要再談楓樹了。老年人很囉唆，他最怕自己患這個毛病。有個時期，他懷疑自己出現了老人癡呆症的徵象，曾經向先立借了錄音機，自己對著鏡子練習說話，直到相信自己言語正常，才甩掉那份恐懼。 嗚水壺鳴笛呼叫起來。他立即熄了菸頭，起身去廚房。 力行，你喝什麼茶？我有兒子剛寄來的杭州龍井，也有蘇州的碧螺春。 龍井臺灣有，我能不能嚐嚐碧螺春？ good. I'm here to help. 客人也進了廚房。 抱歉，因為要出遠門，冰箱都掏空了，沒有東西招待。 胡叔叔怎麼這樣客氣呀？我爸爸說，碧螺春是江南名茶，能喝到就很榮幸了。 你這麼一說，我得換套茶具，才能顯出它的色香味俱全。 主人打開緊接天花板的一格櫥子，取出一套日本製的茶壺茶杯來。 去年收到的聖誕禮物，還沒用過。 我來洗。 力行熄了菸蒂，殷切地搶過這份工作。 主人只好站在一旁，感激地欣賞著客人沖洗這套茶具。 小巧的密瓜形圓壺，白瓷中燒出幾條修竹，非常淡雅。雪白的杯子也有竹葉相映，而在力行塗著蔻丹的掌握中，特別晶瑩可愛。 沒想到先立送的茶具，竟派上了最好的用場。 奇怪，他怎麼還沒送女兒來？ 但願他不要送來。 讓我來吧，你請客廳坐。 他找出一塊乾布來擦乾茶具。 力行卻拉開椅子，就在主人一向坐慣的位置坐下來。 他重新燒開了火。注入茶壺後，不加壺蓋。過了半分鐘，才抓起一大把細如茸毛的茶葉放進去，仍然不加蓋子。 不能用滾水泡茶嗎？ 力行好奇地問。 所有的茶葉，特別是如此細嫩的碧螺春，都不宜用滾水，怕茶葉煮熟了，味道出不來。 你放這麼多茶葉 客人言下有些惋惜。 細茶要粗吃。 說著，他加上茶壺蓋，端上圓桌。 原來中國也有茶道。 沒有日本人的那套繁文褥節而已。 他放了兩隻茶杯後，自己也坐了下來。 我一向不講究茶具，不過，這次回去，一定要買個宜興的紫砂茶壺回來。 宜興茶壺？我不久以前剛在台北一家茶葉鋪子看到一套，大概是走私進來的。標價不算貴，不過那茶杯黑乎乎的？ 所以我不要宜興的茶杯。泡了茶看不出茶色，是很掃興的事。 他查看了一下茶水，等到呈翡翠綠時，才倒在杯子裏，請客人喝。 力行恭敬地雙手捧起杯子，抿了一口，沉吟了片刻，便點頭稱好。 很清淡，她說，舌尖留下一股甘香。 你喜歡，就把剩下的茶葉帶去吧。 real?謝謝你了，胡叔叔，我拿回去孝敬爸爸，他一定很高興。 令尊現在是 他從政治大學退休了。 哦，那他有閒空可以品茗。我到大陸若看到好茶，一定給他捎些。 謝謝你了，胡叔叔。 主人怕自己忘記，立即把現有的茶葉送到客