Chapter 5 Four

From afar, He Shaoxiang relaxed his tense nerves when he saw the dimly flickering sea of ​​lights in Kaslu City.The snow is too heavy, it is not easy to drive, the temperature drops at night, the snow keeps accumulating on the road, and there is ice under the snow. It will not be the usual one-and-a-half-hour drive, but will become three hours. As soon as he entered the urban area, He Shaoxiang's heart was completely at ease.As soon as his spirit relaxed, all the tiredness came up, he yawned big, and suddenly, he felt a sense of emptiness, feeling that his life was so hard.If it were someone else, who would rush back on such a windy and snowy night?But He Shaoxiang is He Shaoxiang, he can't compare himself with those insignificant people.There will be a meeting in the laboratory tomorrow morning, let alone snow, even if there is a knife, he will rush back overnight.

He Shaoxiang's residence was just on the edge of the city, turned a street, and the car entered a secluded alley.The old-fashioned house with bright cream bricks at the end of the lane is it.The pointed roof looks like an old castle in a fairy tale in the dark night sky.Europeans pay special attention to the art of living. A person's status and income can be seen from his living conditions.He Shaoxiang's residence made him very proud, not to mention that ordinary Chinese people have neither the ability nor the opportunity to rent such a house, even Germans who do small things are not qualified to live in it.

The old couple, the landlord, are both over seventy years old. The old man was an official in Hitler's era. After the war, he switched to business. Now he is retired.The old lady also belongs to the noble class. When she goes out in winter, she always wears a whole fox with round eyes around her short neck.The reason why they were willing to rent the house to a Chinese like He Shaoxiang was because he was single, had no women and children to quarrel with, and was willing to pay a lot of money.There was nowhere to find a lodger like him among the Germans.He Shaoxiang likes to be quiet, and it happens that the landlord is also a person who doesn't like to talk. They have lived together for several years, and no one disturbs anyone, and they get along very well with each other.

After He Shaoxiang parked his large Mercedes car, he opened the short iron gate and walked into the yard.In summer, there are lush flowers and trees, several kinds of fruit trees, and a goldfish pond, but now there is nothing but snow all over the sky.Like every day, he carried that big, well-stuffed briefcase, which contained what he considered the most important things in the world, including half of the articles he had written, half of the scientific journals he had read, which needed to be checked or sorted out. Records of experiments, results of discussions with fellow scientists, dates and procedures of meetings to attend, etc.The air after the snow made him feel extra refreshing after staying in the laboratory as an adult.But he has rarely had the leisure and time to appreciate nature, so he hurried up the stone steps as usual, and took out the key from the trouser pocket where the door key was fixed.Looking at the myopia behind the glasses, he aimed at the keyhole on the door, opened the door and entered.

The glass on the landlord's door was brightly lit. It was obvious that they hadn't slept yet. They usually went to bed after eight o'clock.At that time, the whole house was like a valley of death in the deep mountains, so quiet that even a person like him who loved silence felt a little unbearable.They were still awake at this moment, and he felt a little inexplicably joyful in his heart.As usual, he walked up the carpeted stairs as quietly as possible, and gently pushed open his door without making a sound.He has always been so measured, like a well-bred European. On the small cabinet by the door, several envelopes were neatly placed, and he knew that they were brought in by the landlady.Pick it up and look at it, it's nothing more than bills, monthly reports of physical societies, and bookstore catalogs.There is only one real letter, and by glancing at the writing on it and the Singapore stamps from a distance, he can tell that it was written by Shaowen. For his younger sister, Shaowen, he has never liked her since he was a child, and her letters can't attract him. What is he interested in.Throwing the pile of envelopes back on the cupboard, he took off his coat, his hat, his gloves, one by one, and put each in its usual place: the coat on the second hook of the hanger, the hat on the top. On the beam, the gloves are put in the pocket of the coat in case you forget to put them on.

After putting away his coat and hat, he rubbed his hands hard a few times as he was used to, and muttered to himself: Why did you turn down the heater in such a cold day? He first turned the temperature of the heating up a little bit, then took out a tall glass from the wine cabinet in the dining room, poured half a glass of brandy, and drank it down in one gulp. After drinking, his whole body immediately warmed up, and he felt very comfortable. , a little smug.Put down the wine glass, and began to change clothes and shoes. He Shaoxiang believes that he respects principles in all matters, whether it is work or life.Take clothes as an example, he wears the clothes he wears at home, and he wears the clothes he wears when he goes out. He should be tidy and noble when he goes out, and he should be comfortable and relaxed at home.He put on a half-length dressing gown-style velvet coat, and put on soft-soled loafers on his shoes. He took the radio from the kitchen table as he did every day, and leaned on a sofa with a particularly high back in the living room. Go up, relax and tune in to the day's news.In fact, every family has a TV now, and there are almost no people like him who only listen to the radio and don't watch TV.The reason why he doesn't buy a TV is because he is afraid that the TV will be too interesting, and he will be greedy to watch it and miss the business.His radio is the most expensive one among famous brands. It is portable and can be carried anytime and anywhere.For example, when breakfast is mentioned in the kitchen, it is placed on the table on the right hand side, newspapers are spread on the left hand side, and in the middle is the breakfast he made himself: a pot of hot coffee, a piece of black bread, two slices of cheese, an apple or orange , He has been eating like this for more than ten years, and it has never changed.He listened and watched while eating, which was the most enjoyable moment of the day.In addition, when he comes back at night, he usually listens to the news of the day, and he can also use it to learn about world events when he goes to the toilet.So this radio is always carried by him, the kitchen, living room, toilet, three places to move.In fact, it may not be that there are major events that must be known every day, but listening to the reporter's voice, it seems to have contact with the outside world, and it feels much more comfortable.

The world today is very peaceful, and there are no special events. The weather forecast says that tomorrow there will be no snow and the sun will rise.After listening to what he should listen to, he turned off the radio and began to think about what to do? Usually, he always spends his free time at night reading scientific magazines or writing papers. He has been writing papers all his life, one after another, and he never gets tired of it.Once a foreign friend asked him what is Hobby (hobby)?He thought for a while, and replied that he was writing articles. That friend misunderstood that he liked literary and artistic creation, and asked: Writing poetry?writing a novel?Or prose?After hearing this, he was shocked, didn't he even know that he had written so many scientific papers, including winning three best paper awards of the year?Is this still a friend?He said embarrassingly: I don't write things that are made out of nothing. I write articles based on theories that I found in the experiments.I write scientific papers.The friend shook his head and said: Writing scientific papers is work, not Hobby.He smiled and said: Then my hobby is work.The friend laughed and patted him heavily on the shoulder a few times. S． C．So you are a workaholic!He said.

Whether he is a workaholic or not, he himself does not know, but there is no doubt that the most important thing in his life is work.He can't let himself be idle, he has to fight for his career forever, work forever.The only thing he wants to do right now is work. He Shaoxiang looked at the small electric clock on the table, it was pointing at 9:30, it was still early before going to bed!I can just flip through the physics magazine I just received today.He sat down at the writing desk in the study, took out the magazines from his leather bag, and prepared to read with great concentration like he did many nights.

What's worse is that the world seems to have changed tonight, everything is out of order. His eyes are fixed on the paper, but he can't see a word. .What appeared there was actually this afternoon, the girl who was wearing a gray leather coat and a white scarf around her head, she met a girl with a noble temperament and a beautiful face near the music hall this afternoon. In fact, when he turned the steering wheel on the road, her shadow appeared again and again.He forced himself to drop the shadow several times, but it was impossible.Now that she came again, he thought it was so ridiculous, just said a few irrelevant words on the road, and made him so fascinated that he couldn't even read the book, how did he look like He Shaoxiang?

He Shaoxiang corrected his color, sat down again, pushed the frame of his glasses, and solemnly cast his eyes on those densely packed characters and crooked lines.But those words and pictures turned into smoke in front of his eyes again, and he couldn't see it at all, but the figure of Ping Ping Ting Ting became clearer.Finally, he gave up with a long sigh, dropped the magazine, stood up, and pushed the chair aside heavily as if angry. He paced back and forth on the ground, from the study to the living room, from the living room to the dining room, from the dining room to the bedroom, and then from the bedroom to the study.After walking back and forth like this a few times, he felt that the boredom in his heart expanded even more, until it seemed that he had to open his throat and yell a few times to be happy.

Standing in the middle of the ground, he carefully looked at the house, which cost a lot of money, put a lot of thought into it, and was deliberately arranged: red curtains, green carpets, hemp yellow furniture of high-quality materials, brightly colored oil paintings on the walls, Bright chandeliers hung from the ceiling.Once the landlady laughed at him for making the room red, green, and green like a color palette, and he told her without explanation: red curtains and green carpets mean red flowers and green grass. A dull atmosphere that never goes away.All this, though not luxurious, was always comfortable enough, and he had always been proud of having such a life.Yet at this very moment, for a split second, he saw how hollow the life he had lived, soberly and diligently, he had lived for so many years.It looks like a tightly locked gold-painted jewelry box. It looks radiant on the outside, but there is no jewelry inside.Thinking about it this way, his always optimistic and stable heart was like a flood that broke its embankment, and the whole thing was in turmoil.The long years of more than 20 years abroad just flickered in his mind. Since he was in the third grade of elementary school, after his mother passed away, his days were full of loneliness and loneliness, and reading became his only entertainment.Two years later, his father remarried, and his stepmother gave birth to his younger sister Shaowen.Not only did the stepmother only have the princess in her heart, but her father who always loved her seemed to have forgotten his existence. The younger sister was the focus of the whole family's attention, and her status was so important. Compared with her, she was completely insignificant, which made him feel aggrieved. In the process of growing up, he was full of resentment. In any school, he was always a good student with excellent homework, but his younger sister Shaowen showed mediocre aptitude. One day, when I become famous, I will never pay any attention to you. Because his father was so kind to his stepmother and younger sister, he didn't want to get close to his father.After graduating from university, he was sent abroad at public expense, which made him have great confidence in his own ability. He felt that he was able to achieve what he is today because of his own hard work, and his family did not contribute a little.He imagined that if he had not obtained the qualification to study abroad at public expense at that time, his father would not have given him money to study abroad.Then, he would not have the achievement and status he has today, maybe at most he would teach in school, or be an insignificant little engineer for the rest of his life.What will happen in the country?His various achievements should be attributed to the research environment, scientific level and social system abroad.For foreign countries, he is full of gratitude and reverence, but left the worst impression of everything at home in the past.After going abroad, he tried his best to control his nostalgia for the past, the past is gone, I want to abandon the old and create a new one.He always used this sentence to encourage himself.Create new ones, including turning yourself into a first-class scientist, and break into the circle of Westerners.For many years, he has been walking in this direction wholeheartedly, like a series of rushing trains, rushing forward along the railroad tracks, fast and furious, how could he have expected that just at that moment this afternoon, this The train going forward was blocked and couldn't run smoothly. I remember reading an interview in the newspaper once. It was a conversation between a reporter and a Soviet skater who had won five world figure skating championships.The reporter asked him why he didn't get married?The successful player said: I am already married, I am married to skating.For him, this sentence really won my heart. He really appreciates the Soviet player's words.So he even thought that he was married to science a long time ago. Not only was he married, but science was his life and everything to him.Doing experiments, researching, thinking deeply, writing papers, holding meetings, giving speeches, exchanging ideas with international peer scientists, running around, busy, busy with great interest.In short, there was nothing else in his life but science.He is used to this kind of life, it is regular and natural, and he doesn't feel bitter at all.It was only now that he felt the emptiness of this life for the first time, and realized for the first time that science was not his whole life. These thoughts made He Shaoxiang a little sad, he saw that he was just a mortal like everyone else, and suddenly felt that all these years of hard work seemed to be a waste of time. He Shaoxiang touched his cheeks, the skin under the beard was a little hot, he walked to the big mirror in the bedroom with a feeling of being dissected, and looked at himself carefully.Then why is the originally handsome and smooth face a little slack?The hair on the forehead is raised again, right?But the forehead looks brighter and brighter!Since when did my originally flat stomach protrude?Forty years old, forty years old, why is he not thirty, twenty years old, but forty years old?He has never felt so old, and he has never felt so inferior for his age.The girl surnamed Yu asked him how many years he had been abroad, and he actually lied, saying that it was almost eighteen years, but he knew that he had been abroad for almost twenty years.He didn't mean to lie, he never lied in his life, he really didn't want her to think him too old.How nice it would be if I could go back to my twenties, or maybe my thirties?he thinks.This thought drew his eyes to a small picture frame standing on the bedside table.It was a four-inch color photo, and the person in the photo was sitting on a bench by the river, grinning.How young I was at that time!It was Eddie who had taken this picture of him.Thinking of Ai Dai, he couldn't help feeling and recalling many past events. The time with Eddie was his only experience with the opposite sex.Speaking of which, it was thirteen or fourteen years ago.At that time, he had just received his doctorate and found a very good position. When he was in the best of spring, he met Etty. Etty was only twenty years old at the time. She was born in a German family. Her father ran a business and her grandfather was a mayor. She herself was a girl with both talents and looks.Not only is he a top student at the Academy of Art, but he also has a sweet face, a pair of transparent blue eyes, a small upturned nose, and golden curly hair.Her skin was white and pink, as tender as a baby in an oil painting.He liked Ai Di, just like the girl surnamed Yu he met today, he fell in love with him almost at first sight.Ai Di was not bad to him, he asked her to go to concerts, to go sightseeing, to eat Chinese restaurants, she never refused.But after dating for two or three months, Aidie's parents strictly prohibited Aidie from continuing to associate with him on the grounds that he was Chinese.Aidie listened to her parents very much, so she went to Paris to study painting according to their suggestion. Before she left, she came to say goodbye and said that she would write to him when she arrived in Paris and invite him to play.But he never got a single piece of paper.Of course, where is Paris? Will a girl like Etty not change her mind there?What's more, they hadn't reached the stage of discussing marriage. For the sake of face, in front of people, especially in front of the Chinese, he never admitted that he had dated Ai Di. How could a man like He Shaoxiang be dumped by his girlfriend?In his heart, only he himself knew how hard he had been hit.The emotional loss is not counted, and the erosion of self-esteem makes him feel even more painful. After much deliberation, he believed that not having German citizenship was the main reason for his failure.If he was a German citizen, Etty's parents would have no reason to be picky.In other respects he believed himself to be as good as any German.For this reason, over the years, he has made extra efforts in learning, so that the German government can know that he is extraordinary and is willing to accept him as their person.Several of his college classmates were all American citizens after seven or eight years in the United States.However, it is so difficult to become a German citizen. He has been in Germany for almost 20 years and is still dealing with naturalization. This is what he regrets the most. After receiving Eddie's lesson, he was too timid to provoke women again.I just made a wish in my heart: He Shaoxiang doesn't want to marry, but if he wants to marry, he must be a young and beautiful woman with outstanding manners.Over the years, his circle of contacts has become world-class, and his wife naturally cannot be a mediocre woman.When he was calculating like this, a blonde beauty always loomed in his mind.In his impression, Western women are fair-skinned, tall, and in good shape.Most oriental women are not as beautiful as western women because their faces are not clear enough, they are short and have short legs.Maybe it's because his conditions for choosing a mate are too harsh!After so many years, I have never been tempted by a woman again.And now that graceful, beautiful and luxurious figure appeared in his mind again, such a wife would not be inferior to others in any occasion.She is a literature student, and Westerners most appreciate women's accomplishments in literature, art and music.It's just, I don't know which country's literature she is studying?U.K?Germany?Or France?Her calves in the boots are so long, and she walks beautifully.He has been paying attention to her for a long time, but he never thought that she is an oriental person, and she is also Chinese. How beautiful are girls from Taiwan?I can't imagine how white and tender the skin on her face is, how bright it is.How could he have an idea, courage suddenly, and go up to talk to her so head-on!He also sent her to the gate of the music academy, how extraordinary all this is!I don't know how she feels about herself?He must find a way to get close to her. What is worth worrying about is that those Chinese students will say that he pursues her, and he never does what he pursues. What if he hits a wall?Others can afford to lose face, but He Shaoxiang can't.Besides, pursuing women doesn't work even if you don't have free time.He thought about it, but he couldn't think of how to spare time to be close to her. He was too busy and lived so far away from Munich. He Shaoxiang was an exception. He didn't write a thesis or read a book all night, and it was all spent thinking wildly. Because he was so excited, he tossed and turned in bed and couldn't fall asleep.In the end, he went to the refrigerator in the kitchen to find a pill to calm his nerves and swallowed it, only to feel drowsy.