Chapter 56 twenty

Ah Qing, do you understand the hearts of parents in the world?Can you understand?If my Ah Wei was still alive, he would be thirty-seven this year, the same age as Wang Kuilong.Ah Wei's birth was unusual, he was born by caesarean section.His mother was weak, she had been operated on severely, she couldn't eat, she gave birth to Ah Wei, and died not long after.Ah Wei lost his mother since he was a child, and he is the only son. I love him very much, and the discipline is also very strict. That child, Ah Wei, has been likable since he was a child. He is extremely intelligent.In those years, apart from fighting in the front, I always took him with me and raised him personally. Even when our army was stationed in Hanzhong, Shaanxi, I took him with me. In the barracks, I taught him how to ride horses and hunt.Every morning, I rode my fierce horse looking back at the moon, and he rode his little silver colt, Snow Lion. We, father and son, always took a few laps on the racetrack.Speaking of those two BMWs, they are both famous breeds in Qinghai. We have to come, and there is still a story.After the victory of the Anti-Japanese War, I went to Qinghai to inspect, and Ah Wei followed.The commander of the military region in Qinghai is an old classmate of mine, and I have a very close personal relationship.There are famous horses from Qinghai. He specially picked some horses for me to have a look at. Pointing to his favorite horse looking back and looking at the moon, he bet me that if I can subdue that fierce horse, he will give it to me willingly.I jumped on the horse and rode like flying. My commander friend boasted so much that he had to reluctantly give up.Unexpectedly, Ah Wei stood behind me, pointed at the snow lion and said: Daddy, I want to try this one too!Although I also wanted my son to stand out, I couldn't help worrying that he would make a fool of himself in public.Yin quietly asked him, "Can you do it?"The little guy responded straight away: Daddy, I can do it!He was only fifteen years old at that time, tall and strong, wearing a suit of military uniform riding boots that I specially made for him, and he was full of air.He grabbed the snow-green little silver colt, jumped onto the horse's back, and galloped away. The horse let him run until the horse's belly touched the ground. On the green grassland, there was a cloud of silver light.My commander friend couldn't help but blurted out cheers: What a general, I'll give this horse to him!At that moment, I was really proud, my son really made me feel glorious.

Ah Wei, since he was a child, was a competitive and extremely arrogant child, always ahead of others in everything.He graduated from the military academy. There were 250 students in that class, and he was far ahead in all academic subjects.His officer praised him very much, and praised him as a standard soldier in front of me.Having a son like this, as a father, the joy in my heart is indescribable.I feel comforted that my more than twenty years of painstaking efforts on A Wei have not been in vain. But, Ah Wei only lived to be twenty-six years old, and died an extremely dishonorable, undeserving, and tragic death.He was promoted to platoon leader, and he transferred the troops to train recruits.I have also been to his training center to visit.Ah Wei really has a way of leading troops. All the recruits in his platoon obey him and love their platoon leader Fu very much.A Weiwei respected the order and worked very hard.But in his second year as the platoon leader, an accident happened, he was dismissed and investigated, and he also had to be court-martialed.One night, his officer, Zha Qin, inadvertently ran across him in his dormitory lying with a full-fledged soldier, doing that ulterior thing.When I was notified, I was so angry that I passed out on the spot.I never expected that my most beloved and respected son, Fu Wei, who was brought up by his own hands, a young and promising standard military officer, would actually do such a shameful and inhuman animal behavior with his subordinates.I immediately wrote him a long letter, using the most severe words of reproach.After two days, he made a long-distance phone call.That day was the eighteenth day of the ninth lunar month in the lunar calendar, and it was my fifty-eighth birthday.My old relatives and friends were originally going to celebrate my birthday, but they also asked me to excuse my illness.Ah Wei asked to come back to Taipei to see me on the phone, because he was going to appear in court the next day.I coldly rejected him, saying that I don't need to go home, since I violated the military law, I should wait for punishment at the base and think about my mistakes behind closed doors.On the phone, his voice was trembling and hoarse, almost crying, completely unlike the heroic young officer in my mind.My anger suddenly increased by three points, and I felt a wave of disgust and contempt.He still wanted to explain, but I sternly stopped him and cut off the phone.At that moment, I didn't want to see anyone, especially my son, who was so disappointing to me.That night, soldiers in his platoon found him dead in his dormitory, a pistol in his hand, with bullets blasting his face from his mouth through the back of his head.Officials identified him as a misfire and accidental death.But I know that my only son Fu Wei, who is arrogant, strong and conceited, ended his own life with a pistol on the night of my fifty-eighth birthday.

After Ah Wei committed suicide, for a long time, I often had nightmares at night, and I always dreamed of the same face. It kept opening and closing, as if it was overly frightened, trying desperately to scream but couldn't make a sound.His staring eyes kept looking at me, begging me for something, but he couldn't convey it, with a painful expression on his face.I seem to have seen that very young face somewhere, but I can't remember who that young man is.For three or four nights in a row, every night I dreamed of that pale face with the panicked look on it.I woke up one night, covered in cold sweat, and I saw that face again in my sleep. That night, the face was covered with blood, and I suddenly realized that it was many years ago, during the Anti-Japanese War, when I was fighting in the front of the fifth theater. A soldier shot dead in front of the battle.At that time in Xuzhou, the front line was tight, and my troops were stationed on the front line.One night when I went to the front line to patrol, my subordinates captured two soldiers who had left the trench without authorization, and the two had sex in the field.An old soldier didn't show any signs of fear. The recruit was probably only seventeen or eighteen years old. His whole body was trembling with fright, his face was pale, his eyes were wide open, and his mouth was open. He probably wanted to ask me for forgiveness, but he couldn't speak out because of fear. The voice sounded like the expression I saw in my dream.Of course, in that situation, I gave the order, dragged him out on the spot and shot him.I dealt with that incident with peace of mind at the time, so I didn't take it very seriously. After a long time, I actually forgot about it.Unexpectedly, after so many years, that panicked face suddenly appeared in my dream again.That night I had a heart attack, and I had unbearable cramps. I was sent to the Veterans Hospital, where I stayed for several months, and almost died.

After being discharged from the hospital and returning home, for a full year, I closed the door to thank guests, lived in seclusion, and recuperated at home.Ah Wei's tragic death made me feel lifeless, and my whole body was as dry as a stick of ashes. I was frozen and indifferent to all the joys and sorrows in the world. Until one winter night, it was the day before New Year's Eve in the lunar calendar ten years ago.During that time, my blood pressure fluctuated and I often felt dizzy.I went to see a doctor at National Taiwan University Hospital. The chief of the internal medicine department was a famous doctor, so it was difficult to register, so I had to go to the evening clinic.After seeing the doctor, it was already past nine o'clock in the evening.I still remember that there was a cold snap that day, the weather was cold, and it was drizzling at night.I came out of the hospital, walked through the new park, and wanted to take a bus on Guanqian Road.It was probably raining that day, and there were no people in the park.I passed by the lotus pond in the park, and suddenly heard a burst of crying, coming from the pavilion at the head of the pond. It was an intermittent sobbing, and the cry was very desolate. In the cold wind and rain, it was very heartbreaking to hear. .I couldn't help but went around and walked up to the pavilion at the head of the pool.Sitting alone on a bench in the pavilion was a young boy, dressed in a black single-clothes, with his hands covering his head and his face lying on his knees, trembling and crying.I have never seen a person cry so sadly, as if he has been greatly wronged.I went over and shook his shoulder, and asked him: You are young, why are you crying here?That child is really weird, he sobbed and answered me: My heart hurts so much that I don't feel comfortable crying.I asked him if he had a home or a place to go, and he said no.It was so cold that night, I wore a padded robe and felt the chill.And that child only had a single shirt on, and when he spoke, his teeth were trembling from the cold.Suddenly I couldn't bear it, so I took the child home.He probably didn't sleep for several nights, and when I returned to my house, I made him drink a cup of hot milk, and his eyes were so sleepy that he couldn't keep his eyes open.I put him in Awei's room. As soon as he fell on the bed, the bed you are sleeping on now immediately fell asleep, and he didn't even have time to take off his clothes.I took out Awei's quilt from the cabinet and covered the child.The child was turned sideways, with his face on the pillow, his face was pale from the cold, probably.I looked at him carefully, and found that he had a very strange appearance, a triangular face, with a short and pointed chin, raised up, two thick eyebrows still knotted together in sleep, covering the eyes It seems to have passed.I know some physiognomy, but I have never seen such a thin, cheap, and so much evil face as that child.Suddenly, for no reason, I felt infinite pity for him. I pulled the quilt over his shoulders and covered him tightly.It was the first time in two years since Ah Wei's death that I began to regain my senses.

He was so tired that he slept until the next afternoon.It was New Year's Eve that day, and I wasn't in the mood to celebrate the New Year. Because of him, I asked Aunt Wu to make some special New Year dishes, and asked him to have a New Year's Eve dinner with me. Unexpectedly, it was his last in the world. A meal.That night, he suddenly became elated, ate and drank, and ate up a braised elbow. He patted his swollen belly and smiled at me with a mouthful of oil: Grandpa Fu, I have never eaten such delicious food. New Year's Eve dinner, we are in the orphanage, only Christmas, but the old calendar year.He began to chatter, and told me all about his life.His life experience is bizarre and bleak, you have probably heard of it in the park.Ah Feng, he is the wild child and the wild phoenix in your park, he told me, and he told me all the stories in your park.He told me that there are many homeless children like him in the park, all of them have a bleak life experience.He spoke excitedly, pointing to his own chest and said: This is what we bring in our blood. Mr. Guo, the old gardener in the park, told us that we have wildness in our blood, just like the typhoon on this island. Earthquakes are normal and out of control.Grandpa Fu, that's why I love to cry. I want to cry away the poison in my blood.Later, I met the old Henan monk who had raised Ah Feng in the Lingguang Nursery of Zhonghe Township. He told me that Ah Feng was indeed a strange child. Everyone woke up.There was a grumpy Irish priest who didn't like Ah Feng very much. When he mentioned him, he would say angrily: That child must be possessed by the devil, and he even destroyed the icon in the church!After the New Year's Eve dinner that night, Ah Feng was about to leave.I said to him: Ah Feng, if you have no place to go, you can stay here for a few nights.He smiled and said: No, Grandpa Fu, don't disturb you anymore, I have to go back to the park, someone is looking for me!He told me that there is a person who is raising him, he escaped, and this person has been looking for him everywhere.He also smiled and said to me: I will meet him in the park tonight, and on New Year's Eve, I will settle the debt between me and him.It wasn't until the next day that I found out about the relationship between him and Wang Kuilong when it was published in the newspaper.

Alas, it's strange to say that even though that child Ah Feng only stayed in my house for a short night, I developed a special affection and care for him.When Ah Feng died like that, I was shocked violently in my heart, and felt pity spontaneously.That was after Ah Wei's death, my exhausted heart seemed to be revived and revived again.It was also in the park that I met Ah Feng, a poor boy. Seeing his tragic end, I made a great wish to reach out to save you children who are drifting in the park. Ah Qing, after Mr. Fu finished telling his own story, he put one hand on my shoulder, wiped his teary eyes with the back of the other hand, and sighed deeply, you children, you only care about me. I hate your father, but have you ever thought about how much your father suffered for you?After Wang Kuilong's accident, I went to visit his father, Wang Shangde. Only half a year later, his father's hair seemed to be suddenly covered with a layer of snow, and it turned completely white. Ah Qing, where is your father?Do you know that your father is also suffering for you?