Chapter 71 Distraction is a pill

Want to vent your anger?The best way to do this is to distract yourself from the aggressive thoughts. A newspaper columnist suggested to a young mother that if her three-year-old loses his temper again, let him kick the furniture to vent his anger. A few days later, the columnist received a letter from a reader saying: I always thought you were an idiot, and now I am more sure.My younger brother kicked furniture when he was angry, and my mother said it was to let him vent his anger.Well, now he's thirty-two, and he still kicks furniture when he's angry, and not only hasn't changed at all, but he's done it worse, kicking his wife, cat, child, and anything that's at his feet.Last October, he threw the TV out of the window in a fit of rage after his favorite team lost!Why don't you tell that mother that children must be taught to control their anger?This is the difference between a civilized man and a savage.

This columnist and this reader reflect two different perspectives on how we deal with aggressive emotions.Many scientists, like this columnist, believe that aggressive emotions are like steam in a boiling kettle, and there must be an outlet; otherwise, being stuffy in the heart will cause physical and mental harm.Others, like the reader, believe that aggressive emotions should and can be controlled through learning and manipulation of the situation. Some people combine the two and advocate transferring the aroused aggressive emotions to work or games to get a more harmless vent, but this may depend on the nature of work and games.Experiments have shown that after letting an angry man drive a nail into a wooden plank with a hammer, or let an angry woman mop the floor, ten minutes after venting, he is still as angry as before.To reduce aggression, it is more effective to do more relaxed and peaceful work, and the effect mainly comes from the distraction of aggressive thoughts. Their aggression is greatly reduced by distraction.

The next time you're feeling angry, counting the ants on the ground might be the best way to go.