Chapter 15 7. Change I can't to I can

The biggest regret in life is missing opportunities due to lack of self-confidence. Think back to your past, have you ever had this experience of defeating yourself?Look squarely at the current you again, do you still have such flaws? If you want to change this state, you may wish to learn from the experience of the young editor below. Three years ago, she was a senior student.On the eve of the summer vacation, the China president of an American institution gave a large lecture at her university.The lecture was excellent and stimulated her many ideas.While listening to the lecture, she wrote an article based on her feelings. At the end of the lecture, she suddenly had an urge to send the article she wrote to the boss.

As soon as this idea appeared, she immediately hesitated again: Can I do it?You won't be ashamed, will you? But then I thought again: If you lose face, you can lose face, anyway, you may never see him again in the future!So under the siege of everyone, she handed this article to the boss.Unexpectedly, two days later, she suddenly received a call from the boss, telling her that this article was well written, and she hoped she would write more such good articles. Soon, she started an internship.She suddenly had another idea: to go to Beijing for an internship, and to develop there!But in Beijing, she had no acquaintances, and the only person she knew was the boss, so she thought, could she find him?At this time, she once again had the idea of ​​fear, and the thought that I couldn't do it rose up in her heart like a snake.But she still gritted her teeth and expressed her wish to the boss, and hoped that he would help to contact a news publishing unit.

Unexpectedly, the boss, who manages a lot of things every day, appreciates her initiative very much, and soon connects her with a famous newspaper, and encourages her to give full play to her strengths and go to success.In less than two months of internship, she published several influential articles.On the internship form, the newspaper gave her very good appraisal opinions.When she graduated, this appraisal and her published articles played a very positive role in her application, and a publishing house in Beijing quickly hired her. In a conversation, she told me about this experience, and then said with emotion: When she first asked the boss for help, she went through many psychological struggles.On the one hand, he thought that this boss is a big shot, how could he help a student he just met?So they backed down.On the other hand, she thought again: How would you know if you didn’t try?In the end, courage prevailed over timidity.Unexpectedly, it happened all at once.She said: Fortunately, I was not bound by my original thoughts.Otherwise, even such a dream would be difficult to realize.

This kind of successful experience was later used by this college graduate in his work.Whether it is editing manuscripts, contracting manuscripts, or dealing with other business, whenever she encounters a problem and wants to retreat, she will always say to herself: If you want to succeed, you must delete the phrase "I can't do it" from your dictionary!Always feel that I can do it!I can!I will do it! Because of this firm belief that I can do what I can't do, she did a great job and soon became the backbone of the unit, and became a well-known young editor in the industry within three years.

This story should serve as a reference for all those who want to shrink back when faced with problems: the reason why we are unsuccessful is not because others deny us, but because we deny ourselves; , but I have to tell myself that I can't do it.We are not defeated by life, but by the dark thoughts in our hearts!In fact, many times, as long as you knock on the door with confidence, you will find that it is easier to open than you imagined. (1) Don’t trap yourself with a mental trap A trap is a trap.The set of the mind is to use concepts, emotions and other factors to bind the human mind and make it lose freedom and development. Dennis, author of The Psychology of Success. E．Vitley pointed out: When we ascend to a new spiritual realm, we will understand that only when we break it, do we know that we have been thrown into prison!

We should develop the habit of thinking positively about everything.There is an old saying that fortune follows one's heart.A positive attitude will bring you a positive destiny.A negative attitude will bring you a negative fate.If you fly towards the sun, your whole body will be bathed in the sun; if you fly towards a sharp knife, your life will be in danger. Let us always be alert to ourselves, not to imprison ourselves in the prison of negative mentality! (2) Don't let others tie you down Almost everyone has experienced rejection in their growth process.There are many reasons for being denied by others. When others, especially authority figures, deny us repeatedly, we can easily lose our basic confidence in ourselves.However, is the negation of others really correct?

Darwin, who proposed the theory of evolution, said in his autobiography: When I was young, all the teachers and elders thought that I was mediocre, and that I had nothing to do with intelligence. When Edison was a child, his grades were the worst in his class.Because he had a small head tilt, the teacher took him to a famous doctor for an examination. After the doctor made a diagnosis, he said seriously: the brain inside is also broken.But then, he turned out to be the greatest inventor in the world! (3) Removal of learned powerlessness Donald of the University of Oregon.Silotto, did a famous experiment: shut a group of people in a room, and then turn on the noise.Next, assign them the task of finding a way to make the noise stop.

The first group of experimenters pressed almost every combination of buttons on the dashboard, but still couldn't turn off the noise.They didn't know that, according to the previous programming, they could not stop the noise by pressing a button.Participants in the second group were able to stop the noise with the correct combination of buttons. Silotto then took the men into another room and asked them, one by one, to place their hands on the side of the box.If you put your hand on one side of the box, the noise continues, and on the other side, it stops. At this point, something interesting happened: Those in the second group, who could control the noise, quickly turned off the noise by moving their hands inside the box.The first group of experimenters, even when the time, place, and conditions were changed, did not make any more efforts, but mostly sat there, and they no longer tried to end the pain, because they felt that no matter how hard they tried use.This is learned powerlessness.

Because you have hit a wall many times, or because others keep instilling in you a certain idea that you can't do it.People who are originally quite capable are prone to feel that they are unable to get through in all directions, and finally simply give up trying to keep their potential in a state of suppressed sleep forever. (4) Break Oak Bonsai This is for someone whose dreams can only be so big.It's not that this kind of person has no dreams, it's that their dreaming is not strong enough.This is like the oak bonsai. The oak tree can grow very large, but if it is planted in a flower pot, it will always be subject to the development range framed by the flower pot.

People are not oak trees, even in a flowerpot-like environment, dreams should go beyond the constraints of the flowerpot.You are a proactive person, you can break the flower pot and transplant the saplings to the field, then you will find that life can be so vast!